What I've Been Up To: Life Update + GRWM 

My wife and I were discussing how lonely it can be to live in a foreign country, with no friends that you have known for a long time, and no family around…It’s healthy to acknowledge that loneliness, keep busy and heal. The way I see friends is that it can be really good or really bad. Sometimes I feel ok not to make a lot of friends since they come and go. Oh well, I think it’s good to do sports like the one you did in the studio. My wife, a teacher, has shown your videos to her students in the US. We like your brightness, sincerity and positivity.

Real about trying to figure out what's NEXT!

03:30 #1 Loneliness (light TW: SA) 08:05 #2 Job challenge: winter 11:42 #3 Job challenge: unplanned summer course

I've read heaps on Reddit about teaching in China and what you describe happens quite often. Wish you the best and thanks for the honest updates 😊

Keep up the good work!

Your true authentic self is your BEST self Aleese! But so happy that you're taking the steps to find a more comfortable routine and better surroundings FOR YOU! love you!

Hey gurl! As someone who I never met irl, i already felt like as if you are my internet best friend and the level of connection I felt with you is over the roof! I was born and raised in Chengdu and moved to Europe 7 years ago and i also experienced similar two very hard winters myself, i truly relate to everything you just ranted. I just want to say that I appreciate your authenticity and the general positivity you released to the internet ❤

Welcome back Aleese, you've been missed! You're doing so great, even if it doesn't always feel like it. You are loved, you are awesome and thank you for being so raw, authentic and inspiring. Sending you a huge hug from Beijing xx

Thanks soooo much for your honest videos, Aleese! My wife and I live in NE China where there is adequate heating in winter, but both being from (different) foreign countries we have struggled with the social aspects of living here. Your videos give a lot of food for thought and you really do help people. Thanks again!

From the work situation to the weather to the friendships, I feel It 100% 😅 this life ain’t for the weak, I’ve moved from Chongqing to Tianjin In February and my experiences are the same

I know the loneliness too. All my friends and family are in Philly, I'm in Carlisle. But I occasionally visit them to help myself.

I don’t know what it is and I can’t seem to put my finger on it but whenever I watch your videos there’s this sense of calmness that i feel and I keep coming back for more especially after stressful days 😊😊😊

Aleese, you are amazing, beautiful, and smart. We are your tribe and we love you. We missed you so much. I can see what you went through and are still going through as being very difficult. We need to have some heat and sunshine in our lives, and for you, living in the freezing cold and minimal sun is affecting your mood, which affects your views of your life. I send you positive energy ✨️ for you to manifest everything in your life that will make you very happy❤. I am very glad you are back with us.

Hearing a Michigander say they never expected seasonal depression in Chengdu is wiiiiild! Good to know! Sorry it's a rough start. I hope it picks up for you emotionally and that you find the things that fulfill you.

I’m sorry you feel depressed 😢.I hope everything works out

Sorry about your stress....I suspected as much. There is sadness and frustration in your voice. Change is never easy, be it in China or another place. Hope that the therapist can help you out. And I pray that a dream man will show up in your life - best wishes!

Thanks for sharing how you're feeling! I would love to know how you've been doing lately!

Great that you are back!! I hope you continue to look after yourself as you figure things out! One question, would you consider making a video about the most problematic type of misinformation that has been circulated recently about life in China for expats? It would be good to have your honest authentic perspective on this topic.

I love your videos so much - they ARE so authentic. Your journey in China reminds me of my own 10 years ago; so many ups and downs. And YES! Seasonal Affective Disorder is awful. I live near Seattle and it’s seemingly dark and dreary 360 days out of the year (all that rain = beautiful greenery dontchaknow). We sing “Tomorrow” from Annie way too much around here 😂😂😂 Thank you for staying true to yourself and thank you for sharing your adventures - it helps me remember a period of my life that I will always treasure ❤

Hey Aleese, I've not followed you a long time but I can understand where you're coming from in terms of "that version of myself". I recently left a left everyone said omg you're amazing for it - but ya know what, I was burned out, exhausted and I wanted to go. So I left. It took a lot of strength because I knew it was right but my reputation was on the line. At the end of much rumination, I thought I just want to be free and content. No one will judge a decision you make if it is for YOU. And if they do, meh, that's their stuff. Good luck with the therapist. That should help to put things in line in your mind.

I’m really glad that you made this video because you highlighted some things I truly didn’t think about. I’m currently teaching in the Middle East and I am usually content but about this time of year I get the itch to move to China or Vietnam. I know that I have very bad SAD and I didn’t really think about the impact that would have on me in some cities in China. I experience the loneliness here too but when I have the itch to move the main things I think about is how great the food will be and shopping 😅. I have plenty of holiday time in summer so maybe it would be best to just visit some cities in China before I decide on what to do next.

Thank you for sharing. I think its important for social media influencers to share when its tough. We only see a portion of peoples lives online and one can think why cant my life be like that and theres another side to it all. I appreciate you telling that side. I can also definitely relate to work issues. That can make life suck because you have to spend so much of your life there. Its sucks the energy out of you. Thank for your bravery and know you are not alone.

I have been living in Changchun in north east China for over 13 years, my wife is from here and we decided to move after my next contract at the end of June. We are moving to Wuxi near Shanghai, and I am worried to go through what you are going through especially because my wife is Chinese and she is from north east China, and they don’t really get excepted in the south of China. Stay strong girl.

I only saw some of your travel vlogs before (that rose cake in Kunming was great, thanks for the tip!) but will definitely follow your channel more closely - thank you for being authentic and real! Agree so much that most China content by influencers is very fake or shallow, so being real is more important than ever. Keep being yourself! 💪(And you are absolutely right about the Chengdu grayness, I feel like I have seen the sun here like three times since Christmas 😂 hopefully the sh*t weather season is finally over now.. Also if you haven't been, check out a tea mocktail/cocktail place called Tea Lab in the Yulin area!)

yeah the cold really sucks in chengdu, way more than Beijing in the snow! but what really shocks me is the grey sky u talked about. I'm Australian (which most of it has all the sunlight all year around) and I didn't like chengdu for the greys either, but I just spent feb to may in chengdu for the first time in a decade and absolutely loving it, I remember so many sunny days and was thinking maybe covid really turned the city for the better LOL. Anyway I'm about to move to Chengdu in the summer and I think the summer would be really nice there. I can show u some expats spots if u are in need of mates keke. most of my expat mate went home after covid, makes the move a little scary as well.

Ms. A so proud of you as usual for just being upfront about life - good, bad and ugly. Thought you were MIA due to planning your group trip. But glad you are back. ...and loving the hot piping TEA 🤣🤣🧡🧡🧡... and remember you were a black woman in China during the worst of times, educating the masses (including me) about a country most foreigners would never think of coming too, building a following and flourishing. Remember that! Hoping for some sun rays out there.

You're awesome! We're all figuring out this life thing, you're helping so many feel less alone just by keeping it real. Appreciate it, appreciate you! Keep being the light x

Welcome back, Aleese! Your perseverance and authenticity are the reasons why I will continue to support you. Be well and I wish you continued success with your endeavors! 😊

加油Aleese！

1st off...WELCOME BACK. I was literally wondering if youtube's algorithm had ripped you from feed again, only to find that you hadn't uploaded in a while. Then the very next day a new video hit!!! 2nd...keep ya chin up sis. You're my inspiration for possibly moving to Asian myself someday. Your current struggles are many of my fears for moving abroad, but you seem so strong and intelligent, I know you'll see yourself through. 🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾

Hey girl it’s so nice to have you back ❤❤❤ just remember that it will definitely get better once you find your place in the new city and find your favourite places to go, things to do etc. keep going ❤❤❤

So proud of you Aleese! Take as many breaks as you need and look after yourself!

I just watched your latest video. Whew!!! The authenticity of your video was soooooo real!!!!!!! It reminds me of my life here in Kazakhstan as a teacher. I actually made a video similar to yours. Keep your head up. And please stay real!!!!!! It’s needed!

I feel you so much! I've moved to a new city and I'm not adjusting as well as I'd hoped. Girl, I was in 38°C heat in Beijing and they wouldn't let us turn the AC on! Kids were dripping with sweat! It was insane!

I love your hair as is. Keep it as is !

Thank you so much for being so real and authentic! It's so helpful.

Still continue your teaching job.Teaching is a career done not for the love of money or convenience but for the desire to raise a knowledgeable and egalitarian society.❤❤❤Those kids will never forget you

Hang tight hun, we love you. I realize that China is probably a great place to live, but you have to do whatever is in your own best interest. So glad to see you back online.

I was just wondering where you have been yesterday .Actually,you are the first RU-vidr that I followed and I really want to improve my English speaking skills, and I coincidentally find you .I am a Chinese now lived in Chengdu. I moved here last year and I come from Chong Ching. I totally understand what you have been through.I don’t like the gloomy weather too, but in the summer the weather would be better .There will be so many clouds in the sky!! I love exposure myself to the sun! I believe in the summer you can have a better mood.❤❤

Girl, I was just saying, where is #1? Hope she is OK. Keep on living my friend. We are rooting for you and continue to prioritize your health and peace of mind ❤

Sorry to hear that, I hope it gets better soon.

Sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. Hope things get better for you soon.

So glad to see you Aleese! I was thinking of you the other day and wondering how you were. So sorry to hear about your troubles. Glad you found a therapist to talk to - I've suffered from depression and medication has worked for me. Hang in there Aleese. We've got your back! Take care.

I will never go back to live in Chengdu again even though I was born here and lived 23 years here.The winter is just so long and cold and depessing. I never felt any sense of belonging even though its my hometown. I felt so much better as I moved to work in Shenzhen making me realize Chengdu is a city that really lacks a lot for me.

I was wondering why I wasn't seeing new videos from you. Do what's best for you and I hope you feel better.

pl take care Life is up n down. Dont focus on sad things .Think of the blessings you have n only on what makes you happy

Girl!!! Been missing you!!! Glad to see you are back. You tube hasn’t been quite the same without you on my feed 💖💖

Hope it gets better soon.

So glad I got the notification. Love you and your videos 😊😅❤❤❤

im going through a similar period right now. i made a choice thinking it would be an exciting new chapter in my life, and it just ended up making me depressed.

加油，会一直关注你，也祝好哦

compared with Beijing,Chengdu maybe does not have too many foreigners,that was one of the reasons why you were feeling lonely,however you would adjust yourself as time goes by. Cheer up!

You always felt closer and this video made it more. I'm also going through 'what am I even doing in this life' phase right now. We're always with you ❤️ you're strong ❤

Thank you for the update! I appreciate your transparency about living abroad in China.

Hey 👋🏽 Glad to see you again. I was wondering where you’ve been. I can relate to you a little bit at the moment. I’ve been trying to get things moving in life and have been having some difficulties and obstacles… Months ago I was asking to learn resilience and patience and girlll lemme tell you… I’m learning it alright. Life sounds tough rn for you but the fact that you are able to openly talk about it shows AGAIN how strong you are. I don’t know you from a can of paint but I know enough to give you flowers for your resilience. I’ve been in therapy as well and it’s so important to have that. A place to vent/someone to talk unfiltered is so important. If I don’t my brain will explode cause there’s so much up there and it clouds my decision making. I’m glad you found an in person therapist that can be hard for us 👩🏾‍🦱🧑🏾‍🦱 folks. Keep going it will ease up. I promise you ❤️💕

I’m teaching as well but in the UK. It is quite a tiring job, I’m also trying to find a way out. What about becoming a consultant in a domain you enjoyed?

Welcome back girly!

Aleese, this too shall pass. Keep your head up. 😊

Welcome Back😍😍

Jiayou Aleese!

Keep on pushin' honey! Hope things get better!! ❤

have the same train of thought rushing through my brain in regard to leaving teaching, albeit in my home country. wish you all the best is sorting this whole thing out, Aleese!

Nice video, that makes a lot of massive sense, love from China🇨🇳❤️🇺🇸

i feel you, virtual hug!

So glad to see you again!! I definetly understand how it feels to lose your friends to toxicity/moving away. I've had so much of that this year. Currently down to one friend who is moving across the country in 2 months.

You are an inspiration to a lot of us! Good luck on whatever you do.

Hey Aleese! Thank you for your honesty about life in china right now. Fingers crossed something promising crops up for you soon. I taught abroad for a year and found the experience sometimes incredibly lonely, even though I was meeting new people all the time. It was difficult to judge how genuine they were and if they had any motives for entering into a friendship with me, so I really felt you on this one. Good luck for whatever comes next and as always I look forward to your next video.

Great to get an update from you

Thanks for sharing! You do what makes your happy and your best self! That's all I can say. Looking forward to more updates when you can

Traveling in China is totally different from working in China. Really sorry about your working experience. That is a true part of Chinese life...

i love your t-shirt ❤❤😂😂

Great vlog ALeese! I know how it feels to be in a place to have no friends (I live in Utah) and im just here for work! but it will get better when you have things to look forward too! you got this !

Welcome back 🎉

You got this, Aleese! You are strong and amazing! ❤🎉

ALEESE ❤ Sorry to hear of your struggles Life is always interesting Hair is FAB 😊 Be well, Be you 💕

It's good to see you, sending hugs 🤗 🥰

Take your time. Thanks for sharing. You are not alone.

I grow up in Chengdu,the weather didn't bother me till I moved to Shanghai. After several years, visited Chengdu several times, then I realized the grey sky is o unbearable.

So sorry to hear how unhappy you are in Chengdu. Clearly that city is not for you as I can appreciate the sentiment as there are a number of states in the U.S. that I feel exactly the same way. When I'm in China and staying for a while, I prefer cities like Xiamen, Hainan, Guangzhou, Shenzhen, Hangzhou, Shanghai, Suzhou, Xian, Nanjing, and Chongqiing. As diverse as China is I enjoy visiting and exploring other regions of the country but not to the extent of wanting to stay for any extended period of time. Hopefully the weather will get better and with the sunshine, a different insight of the city will get better and more tolerable to your liking. In the meantime, HANG IN THERE!

Thank you for being soooo open with your truth. I appreciate you. Sending positive vibes.

Think hard about what interests you career wise and consider going back to school if that will help you achieve your new goals. I know where I live, the Chinese offer scholarships that cover all expenses and you don't even need to stay in the country afterwards. Maybe you can get access to one if you want to stay there to complete a degree. But don't give up; lots of people have changed careers and they were over 20. Just find some inspiration looking into those people and they might give you the push to do the same.

Thanks for sharing!!

ggood to see you back

Omg I miss you girl!!!

Thank you for the update

You should take up some Chinese language courses,so you have a broader cycle of friends ❤

Hiiiii hope all is well!

If you need someone to talk even just small talk because we're sitting in the same boat. You can always drop me a line. ❤ Take care!

Also, do a membership no? that way we can support you!!

you are so awesome

Finallyyyyy

I know Chongqing and Chengdu are 2 different cities, but maybe go check out that city and maybe visit iChongqing!

I think you are strong and amazing person stay strong ephesians 6:10....

Is your therapist English speaking but Chinese? Does the the cultural difference help you see things in a different way?

What about finding local Chinese friends that are eager to learn English or locals that are used to travel so are more easy to make friends with?

Sending Hugs.

10:26 Funny dance 😂😂😂.

You should move to Kunming!

Why don’t you teach at an international school. The amount work is always more than working at Chinese schools, but some of the things you have mentioned I have never experienced working at an international school with foreign leadership and students.

Just wanting to know if there’s any psychiatrist or what the mental health services are like for foreigners there ?