What is Borderline Personality Disorder? |Therapist Explains BPD & The Effect on Relationships

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What's Anya Mind?
Today, I'll be outlining the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder and share some examples of how it impacts relationships. People with BPD seems to experience life on the edge or border. They're constantly changing how they feel, how they see their selves, and how they see those around them. They can be quite impulsive and also risky in attempts to fill a long-lasting void. Only 5 of the symptoms listed here need to be met for a diagnosis. Did any of these hit home for you?
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Опубликовано:

24 май 2020

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Комментарии : 122

@Star-dj1kw 2 года назад

1. Fear of abandonment 😨 2. Pattern of unstable relationships with splitting 3. Intense identity instability (adult age, not during teen years) 4. Impulsivity, risky behaviors (in at least 2 areas of life) 5. Suicidal ideation 6. Instability and rapid fluctuation of moods and emotions 7. Chronic feeling of emptiness 8. Difficulty with anger 9. Being paranoid and/or Disassociative symptoms

@nessaboo232 2 года назад

Thanks

@gerahuey3706 2 года назад

Thank you!!

@calussier1 2 года назад

My mother have a BPD. As a child, I can tell you that dealing with my mother’s moods is exhausting. I had to go to therapy myself to stop finding solutions to help her getting better. My advice for those living with someone with BPD is that you need to take breaks to find your balance away from the intensity of it. BTW, my mom is 75 and her BPD has not gone down. Probably because she never accepted the diagnosis and place everyone who talked about it in the “demon” box.

@blkgm7005 2 года назад

I was just thinking the same thing. My therapist just told me a couple months ago that my mom probably has it with narcissistic tendencies. My sibs and myself always just thought she was bipolar. But my mom is in her 60s with no therapy in site and I see no signs or it going anywhere. Me and one of my sisters have finally come to an almost yr long break from her bcuz of her paranoia and disfct. God bless you for all that you have gone thru, hope you are doing better🙏🏿. It has been kinda sad, but Ive come to realize I had to break from her for my own wellness.

@calussier1 2 года назад

@@blkgm7005 exactly! It’s a very challenging reality that we have to face. I hope that you will find peace! ☮️🧘🏻‍♀️

@cody-channeling 9 месяцев назад

If your mom has BPD you may also have a mild version of BPD (it’s commonly n, but not ALWAYS true for offspring to have it). Id say long-form therapies like psychodynamic therapies or DBT are the best to mitigate or “cure” it.

@infinitecurlie 2 года назад

I wasn't diagnosed with BPD until I was 25 and as someone who has been on the unhinged side of BPD and now today with me having a grip on the disorder...You explained my entire life hahaha. 😅 (Oh LAWD the identity one, impulsivity with $, chronic feelings of emptiness...I still struggle with this to this day.) To echo the video: Anybody watching this who thinks they may have BPD - please go see a therapist if you are willing and able to. I hurt a lot of people, ruined a lot of relationships both friendly and romantic. When I admitted to myself that I was the problem..It helped me take that first step to walk into a therapists office. It sucks. It takes a lot of work, a lot of grinding, sometimes you just feel nuts. So many times I thought I had a grip on it and then realized I still have a long way to go. But it's a marathon not a sprint. There was a point where I was in a psych ward and on multiple medications - but once you get a grip on this disorder IT DOES GET BETTER.

@brittney7555 2 года назад

Thank you for your honesty

@EmpressIntuition222 2 года назад

Thank you ❤️

@kb01999 2 года назад

Great explanation for those of us with BPD & didn’t sound judgmental! I wish people would mention not only how difficult for those around us but how painful it really can be for us with the disorder. For myself, I wish more than anything I didn’t put the people I love through these things especially since I feel my love so strongly & it truly hurts me inside to know I cause people pain. Thank you for educating people in a positive manner & saying that we aren’t just bad people☺️

@melanie7068 2 года назад

I think I may have this. I let go of friends and completely demonize them in my mind if they do one thing wrong. I don’t want to be like this forever and hope (as you said) it will go away. Working on it. I think it’s important to note, as I have realized this. A lot of this specific “personality disorder” for me came from patterns, I was CONSTANTLY let down from people in my life, whether that be guardians, cousins, friends. And to think of someone one way and then have their true colors come out it fucks with you. Now I don’t trust easily and am quick to think the worst of people

@tiffanyrose5185 2 года назад

I wish you love and healing💕💕

@sallyjane8274 2 года назад

Yeah I don't think being quick to cut people off is a stand alone way to diagnose this. I can relate to what you are saying. I tended to be the supply friend to narcissists. After realizing that and learning to set boundaries I swing the other way and cut people off quickly. Usually when we are healing from something the pendulum swings back far in the other direction before it evens out. Give yourself grace. You're self aware so that's the first step to self improvement.

@pc9020 2 года назад

I wish you well my friend. I also have been hurt in the past and I definitely will cut anyone off who displays bad behavior in my opinion. I work hard on my relationships with ppl because it’s not easy for me to trust.

@EmpressIntuition222 2 года назад

Absolutely the same for me. After watching this video I feel like this is why I’m not married yet because I can’t even get to the point of accepting the love. I just go inward when and immediately feel like, the person doesn’t love me and will do what someone else has. Whew Lordt. Fix It Jesus.

@melanie7068 2 года назад

@@EmpressIntuition222 same. But as I said I am repeatedly let down by everyone in my life so its hard to trust when that happens

@ericabrittany8678 3 года назад

I dated someone with BPD. He literally hit all of these marks to the most extreme levels.

@AlyxandriaDiaz420 2 года назад

As a teenager my psychiatrist had diagnosed me bipolar with BPD characteristics. I haven’t gone back to get an official BPD diagnosis but I can check off 8 of 9 of the symptoms in myself. I am aware of my overreactions after the fact (sometimes while I’m doing them but rarely) and I know I take out a lot on my bf. As someone with BPD, if you are with someone who has it, just know that we know it’s a struggle to deal with us and we’re grateful that you do.

@Jaseumin 2 года назад

I’ve been told me entire life I have BPD, but really it was undiagnosed ADHD I never got help for.

@karecaste4016 2 года назад

I would love to hear your take on the overlap between BPD, ADHD and disorganized attachment style. Like how to distinguish or relate them to one another. I’m very interested in becoming a therapist, have my family (including me) have been diagnosed with combination of Hyperactive and Inattentive ADHD, but it looks like many of BPD symptoms you have discussed are also untreated ADHD symptoms. I have also heard that there is some correlation between disorganized attachment style (which I believe I may have acquired from my untreated ADHD family) and BPD. I realize this is a loaded request lol but I’d love to hear your deeper thoughts on this / experience :) much love Steph Anya! Love your vidsssss

@x.c.2041 Год назад

This is so real!! Before I was diagnosed with ADHD I honestly did think that I could have been boderline. The constant mood swings were so terrible that I'd be up one minute, on the floor the next, and then just wallow in what felt like empty television static for hours afterwards. The inconsistency caused by my changing interests and emotions was def causing me kind of severe identity problems! I'd worked out some ways of combatting this (thinking of negative character trait I could identity with, then a synonym with a more positive connotation for emergencies when I prompted to do a self-descriptive exercise, and when I was particularly "empty" I would look at a concrete object in the room and try to describe it as objectively as possible until I pinged on a word that had a non-objective connotation, thereby telling me something about myself through how I felt about it) but literally the second I started Wellbutrin/Aderall it all just. Disappeared. I was already pretty good at some CBT stuff because I'd sort of analogously developed a decent amount of the techniques trying to cope on my own (therapy def helped tho!!), so when the meds curbed my impulsivity and upped my executive functioning enough to actually use those coping mechanisms, I was almost instantly in a completely different place mental health wise. No more mood swings, no more identity problems!! I do wish more people would talk about this commonality. Both because it would have been so easy for me to get misdiagnosed and to never get what would have actually helped me the most, and because these symptoms are usually not talked about when discussing ADHD but were def ruining my life just as much as my inability to shower and cook in the same day.

@dominicutie22 2 года назад

I was diagnosed at 19 and never quite understood the diagnosis. This is the most insightful explanation I've heard, so thank you Steph

@belle3055 Год назад

I have a mental health playlist with a lot of videos explaining BPD

@ariellelafleur6200 2 года назад

I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 13 then re-diagnosed with BPD at 16 and everything on this video was what I dealt with .. spirituality TRULY saved my life !! Becoming aware helped me heal

@ThehelloSQ 2 года назад

We've heard all of the negative aspects, after awhile it just feels like it's fun to just shame those with BPD. It sounds like it's based on real abandonment (not just physical) in formative years and so far I've read about cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT. A person has to basically learn to parent themselves and really focus on self care.

@edwardelric10001 2 года назад

Um, could you clarify? It sounds like you like shaming them, but I'm sure that's not what you meant

@sharonlewis3892 4 года назад

Thank you so much for your excellent content! You express positivity and hope for recovering which is life giving.

@StephAnya 4 года назад

Thank you for those kind words! I truly believe that is possible for anyone to have thriving relationships including the relationship with self.

@rmy_Youtube 4 года назад

Hey Steph Anya! Loved this! Never knew the specifics behind this disorder. Thanks for the breakdown.

@StephAnya 4 года назад

Thank you for watching!! ♥️

@NDObeats 4 года назад

I wasn't aware of BPD. Thanks for the information and very quality video!

@StephAnya 4 года назад

Thank you for watching!

@DJK-cq2uy Год назад

You have the most engaging personality I've ever seen from a teacher

@amberkatrice5194 2 года назад

thank you for this . i was diagnosed with this in 2016 at 21 years old and i still don't fully understand what it is , how to explain it to other or how to cope with it . i feel like this is the first step .

@kaylakinker7823 2 года назад

I feel so called out 😩 I have alot of these. I split, I struggle to maintain relationships both personal friendships and professional relationships, I get obsessed with things for a couple of months at a time then move on (including vegan diet, recycling, religion, fitness, gardening), I have problems with impulsivity like spending hundreds of dollars in one day on shit for my house or burning bridges, unstable mood swings, etc

@hairmajestylovehair2860 2 года назад

Thank you so much!! I’m currently studying for licensure. Your explanation helps!!!!!!!! Keep up the great work!

@amerisweetheart 4 года назад

Great video!!! Very informative and great tips as well. Keep up the good work!!

@StephAnya 4 года назад

Thank you!

@payingless4more 4 года назад

Wow I think we ALL can relate to this video either with ourselves or a BPD family member. The quality of your video is superb 👍🏽👌🏾and the delivery is so on point😉

@StephAnya 4 года назад

Yes! Totally agree with you there. I think we all have some of the characteristics! Thank you for watching!! ♥️

@sshoegirl30004 2 года назад

YOU AND YOUR VIDEOS ARE A TRUE BLESSING! Thanks!

@StephAnya 2 года назад

So glad you feel that way! Thank you!

@rhondatyus9524 Год назад

As an MFT, this disorder was by far the most challenging to work with in therapy. However, I enjoy a challenge 😉

@janeasha83 Год назад

I was diagnosed bipolar 2 with a high possibility of Borderpolar. It’s really effected my friendships. I’d be interested to know more about realistic expectations of how to maintain all 3.😊

@aleciamister3412 Год назад

As a graduate student, working on my Master's in counseling to become a therapist, I suggest you seek counseling and really let the therapist know your symptoms. Bipolar is a mood disorder and BPD affects your relationships. A therapist can teach you coping skills, problem solving skills as well as help you stabilize your mood. Just my graduate school opinion.

@stephenyates4749 4 года назад

Awesome video very informative!

@StephAnya 4 года назад

Thank you so much!

@kynathomas4809 2 года назад

I knew someone like this. She would openly say one thing and do the complete opposite of what she had just said. Example she stated she didn't eat pork so once at the meat market with me she purchased baby back pork ribs, pork bacon, and pork sausage. I reminded her of what she'd said previous and she said " well I don't eat pork chops ". 😳

@Welcometothenow 2 года назад

😂

@truckingwithking3825 Год назад

Thank you for this video! I’m the concerned for someone else that I love and care for that may have this and idk what to do about it

@andreeailie9053 2 года назад

I just read today about this topic ... It can be very dangerous , especially when it comes with couples . Thank you, Anya !

@bestyledbystacey 2 года назад

Thank you for this information. 😉

@MrBrendofc 2 года назад

I just get addicted to your channel, saudações do Brasil!!!

@SomeoneBeginingWithI 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for mentioning that the frequent changing of interests is normal in teenagers and only disordered in adults. I see a lot of teengers self-diagnosing with BPD because the criteria resonate with them. A lot of the criteria for BPD diagnosis are common in teenagers. Short romantic relationships relatively close together. Frequent changes of interests. Strong emotions that feel overwhelming. The BPD criteria are designed to be applied to adults. The experiance, emotionally, of being a teenager is not the same as being an adult. Go to see a professional if you're concerned, they might be able to help you, just don't assume it's BPD.

@Yatesey 4 года назад

The intro is 🔥🔥

@StephAnya 4 года назад

Coming from you, that means so much! Thanks!

@MrCornwatts 4 года назад

Thank you for this!!!

@StephAnya 4 года назад

Thank you for watching!!

@khychelleflanders 5 месяцев назад

Watching this video was making me tear up because I feel like I have these symptoms. I guess is because idk if I was in denial. Hearing abt ppl I experienced called me crazy or bipolar can be triggering for me. Facing the truth really can hurt. Most of the time I usually feel emptiness and misunderstood my entire life.

@maryharris7828 2 года назад

You are wonderful ♥️!!

@vivianafrijon2757 Год назад

Could you make a longer video expanding on this?

@isabeltoledo3951 2 года назад

I had a good friend for 12 years and he recently posted on FB that he had been diagnosed with BPD. Before that, I tried to contact him but I felt that he didn't want to be my friend anymore. Now I wonder if that is due to his BPD. I recently messaged him to let him know I'm here if he needs to talk, and I also left hima couple of supportive comments on Facebook. But he almost always ignores me or never tries to contact me on his own. I don't want to insist more, but it hurts to love someone who you know needs help, feels lonely, and had suicidal ideation but refuses your help. I know he's not really alone, he has friends and people who care for him, but it's not easy to just sit and read his Facebook status, knowing there's nothing to do. I'm still processing this and I still don't know what to do. I feel guilty for doing nothing, but you can't force people to accept your help.

@emeraudemukiese7363 2 года назад

I hit all the criteria but not to the extreme lol but anyway the only extreme is the feeling of emptiness, feeling extremely had then sad want to go to bed etc…. Maybe it’s just something else

@debitimperio5298 Год назад

Just found this page. Like the simplicity of breaking things down. Very helpful. I didn’t like that the background music was a little too loud & distracting.

@StephAnya Год назад

I’m glad that you found it helpful! We don’t use this song anymore, but a couple of years ago we used to have it in every video 😅. Sorry about that! Thanks for watching ♥️

@ZP916 2 года назад

BPD seems so similar to narcissistic personality disorder. How do they differ?

@bambi3469 2 года назад

There should be videos comparing the two on yt

@BlkSheepLoneWolf 2 года назад

Narcissist takes pride in how they are, they have control, manipulaters, lil empathy. Bpd....slightly like bipolar, not aware of their swings in the moment.

@kiaj.d.5855 2 года назад

I don’t think they are anything alike.

@ItsTitoEnt 2 года назад

I don’t think they’re alike it’s just the way she explained it. Bpd you don’t know you’re doing these things and it’s more of a way to protect themselves. Narcissist intentionally do things to make them selves feel good and don’t really see the wrong in what they’re doing. When splitting w/ bpd you often times feel bad and blame yourself when things go wrong.

@Waterfallcreationsevents 2 года назад

They can feel similar if you are on the other end of the friend. I had a friend with BPD and a Narcissist in my life and they both gave me some of the same pressures. She has a video on narcissist once you watch that you will see how they differ greatly.

@user-rs9ql3sh3h 9 месяцев назад

I’m literally this & im trying to change because I made a new friend from work but I don’t want to mess up the friendship

@ungehort- 2 года назад

I experience literally every one of these symptoms to the extreme and have done these same exact things.. does that mean I have BPD 😶

@nuxwalpurgis 2 года назад

can a teen get diagnosed? i have suspected i may have bpd for a few years now and (if it is bpd) it has affected my life for so long. at this point in my life, i'm suffering a lot with my mental health so i just think it amplifies the symptoms especially with relationships... my parents are neglectful but i think i have an abnormally strong resentment against them and anyone who i've considered an "outsider", my perceptions of my friends and siblings change easily and i definitely feel like it's the splitting symptom since there is no grey area that they can be in 😶

@michelemarie7777 Год назад

And this is why at 62 with BPD. I am LONELY and can’t have relationships.

@zikonazokufa Год назад

I was diagnosed with it.

@lemongrass4251 4 месяца назад

I have all these symptoms. She hit it right on the money. What do I do?

@tamarraflegg6736 2 года назад

Thank you

@peachdreams1111 10 месяцев назад

I think i definitely have BPD😖😖I'm not diagnosed but i show a lot of these symptoms😥😥

@VOICEFORFREEDOM1776 Год назад

I have been in an abusive marriage and didn’t know it until she was properly diagnosed and realized how bad I’ve been treated. It’s awful. I was made to be a monster by her for years. I worked 740 hours of additional overtime because I believed I wasn’t providing enough

@MiVidaBellisima 2 года назад

Can borderline and narcissistic personality disorder be codiagnosed in the same person?

@Wokewitch666 2 года назад

Yes u can have more than one Personality disorder its very Common to have more than one

@RachaelLyna 7 месяцев назад

Lmfao the cover picture is me everyday 😂🤷🏾‍♀️.

@EssenceEtienne 2 года назад

For me I thought I was just logical the whole time I was splitting.

@TheMoises1213 Год назад

My car aunt was obsessed with the Hindu culture then switch heavy to Rock n roll culture. Something is really up

@Lana-ro6cb 2 года назад

I think I may have this or IDK

@Morningdovie 2 года назад

Yes 👍be obsessed then hate it but an adult no yes all that I see that in individual

@Alyssamariedameron 2 года назад

Does this ever get confused with bi-polar disorder? I know someone who had all these behaviors but was diagnosed with bipolar and she wasn’t ever able to get a grip on it even with the help of professionals

@lolopcallulu3082 2 года назад

I’ve never heard anyone discuss bpd as something that has to do with the ego

@lolopcallulu3082 2 года назад

*egocentric

@YTistooannoying 2 года назад

Blue!!!

@DeanneM1726 2 года назад

I don't know. I was diagnosed with autism. Is that a form of borderline personality disorder? What is full on personality disorder?

@Welcometothenow 2 года назад

Autism is not a personality disorder.

@hadassahmoniquebarr8033 2 года назад

I'm on the spectrum and find it shocking I was given this diag. I have ZERO of these issues so idk how my "DR" didnt see it. I avoid people, I dont have a lot of close friends, I prefer to work alone, I enjoy silence and watching educational things. So how the fuck was this diagnosis given to me??? Also I am bipolar but the boring kind. The kind where I'm depressed most of the time except I shrivel into myself and wont talk to anyone. When I'm "manic" I just hyperfocus on documentaries, video games and art projects! Wish someone could help me explain why this happened to me. It felt insulting to hear this diagnosis having done my own searching in the past. I dont see that DR anymore obviously but I'm not the only woman on the spectrum that was slapped with this diagnosis. so wrongfully.

@ED-ie3et 2 года назад

I say get a second opinion. If you don't exhibit any BPD symptoms then they should see that.

@Wokewitch666 2 года назад

All the Things you describe yourself with is who iam too. But i have bpd. So i dont get why u cant have bpd.. if u dont have any of the Symptoms u dont have it clearly but im confused with the other aspects

@TheStonedPriestess 2 года назад

@@ED-ie3et Youd be suprised. I'm not the only one this happened to. I literally dont have enough of the symptoms.

@TheStonedPriestess 2 года назад

@@Wokewitch666 No I cant. Theres no possible way and I've seen therapists who agree with me. I dont have enough of the symptoms.

@TheStonedPriestess 2 года назад

@@Wokewitch666 You might also be on the spectrum. It happens to a lot of women who are.

@EmpressIntuition222 2 года назад

Okay well I can diagnose myself then. I must’ve had borderline personality disorder all of my adult life. I want to do so many things. I’ve had many different businesss, literally night and day , phlebotomist by day, caterer by night…. Still doing hair here and there. Fix it Jesus.

@michelemarie7777 Год назад

Why can’t there be a MED TO HELP BPD😪

@belle3055 Год назад

The background sound is distracting

@IncendiaT1990 2 года назад

1. Avoiding abandonment: Sometimes I can get super clingy (but not to a stalker extent), but other times, I get distant/don't care. So maybe? Idk 2. Unstable relationships: yes 3. Identity instability: Idk... Maybe? Like with video games, movies, etc.? But I am still trying to figure out who I am/what I like/what I'm passionate about. 4. Impulsiveness: yes, though I'm trying to control it (relationships and spending). 5. Suicidal thoughts/ negative self-image: yes 6. Mood fluctuations: yes 7. Chronic emptiness: yes 8. Difficulty controlling anger: yes but no blackouts. 9. Paranoia and dissociation: paranoia? Not really. More like anxiety. Dissociation? I daydream a lot (how I cope/calm down/escape from life in general). I also (only one time) dissociated during a heated argument where it felt like I was not in control of my actions. It was like watching a movie shot in first-person view with someone else controlling everything and when I was yelling, I barely even heard it and didn't even remember what I was saying during that time. Idk if this matters either but my mother was diagnosed with BPD.

@madiiha90 Год назад

The background music is so loud and distracting :(!!

@Violet-fg9db 2 года назад

Omg !

@cameobelafonte4975 2 года назад

I just dated a woman like this and she was a chameleon. Nice person but you can’t truly care for someone like you want when they’re all over the place.

@suesmith261 2 года назад

the music in the background is is annoying and distracting!

@StephAnya 2 года назад

Hey Sara! This is an older video. Check out some of the newer ones and let me know what you think about the levels. We’re still trying to find the right balance honestly.

@cheyennev8881 2 года назад

These are way too broad..

@Mrs.T305 3 года назад

Well, this sounds like alot of ppl these days😂😂😂

@jess-fg1wt 2 года назад

No, it doesn't.

@JCRFit 2 года назад

Sounds like a Gemini to me

@okwecan9896 2 года назад

Yes because someone’s zodiac sign has a huge impact in their life. 🙄

@jahray6300 2 года назад

Please do not link mental health issues to zodiac signs. It takes away from the seriousness of the diagnosis.

@allegedchicken5406 2 года назад

I have this! Mine is, according to my therapist, "High-Functioning/Quiet BPD." Meaning that when I have mood shifts or when a trigger happens, instead of raging at others or the world, I turn it inward and believe that death is the only solution for my fuck ups. So my behaviors are only ever self-sabotaging and harmful to me. People with quiet BPD also take on helper roles, whether in their hobbies or careers, as a way to compensate for or feel in control of their emotions. Quiet BPD, for me, is like this: "Please, please don't leave me. I know I'm worthless unless I'm perfect or useful. I'll work harder. I'll eat less. I'll do anything. Did I mess up? Are you mad? Oh god. Oh god oh god. Should I die? I should disappear, right?" All of this is internal. And it. Is. EXHAUSTING. Top that with Dissociative symptoms and identity disturbances and it's a full on mental and emotional boxing ring blood bath up there in my brain. BPD is hell, but with therapy and support, you can get really far in life and in your relationships. I'm living proof of this! Got a stable job, a home, and a wife I love dearly. Sure, it's difficult, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. For anyone who reading, I hope this helps! For my fellow BPD siblings reading- ayoooo! Good to see you! Keep your chin up, boo. You got this.

@OurWorldAhead Год назад

Hey congrats for the things you've managed to achieve despite of this! I have borderline too. For me, it's more about paranoid thoughts about people close to me and wanting to push them away, but fortunately I'm pretty good at controlling these thoughts now. There's hope for everyone just takes time.