What Is Charisma?  

This is why I always hated the idea of “fake it till u make it” it feels like I’m playing a role and it feels far from authentic

This guy ,is the kind of person we all need to keep in our back pocket.👍

It is the "C" in S.P.E.C.I.A.L

P.S. Interesting because the biggest thing that helped me to become an authentic, resilient leader is having to navigate through hardship with a humble heart & little to no support system. It brings you to your knees & forces you to look in the mirror with humility & to focus on the mission without all the fluff. What matters most becomes obvious, in a way that those who are naive, ignorant and/or have never had to face hard times are seemingly blind to. We dont know how strong we are until life demands it of us. Having a growth mindset, a strong sense of faith & a reliable support system are essential.

Becoming authentic is a lot of work and most people will not do it You have to uncover and discover a lot of things about yourself

leaders are basically nice people that other people voluntarily give respect to

It feels weird to see him with a tie

That smile at the end reminded me of "Sir.. this is a Wendy's restaurant" Gag

Yeah. Of course there are those manipulative charisma gurus who seem to do something right to have such incomes. But also, the more i have spent time learning who I am, the more people seem to think I am ok, even though I am far less a people pleaser than I used to be. Actually I have started cutting contact to people more easily, if they have a pattern of treating me arrogantly. I have started to calmly stand my ground and also let people know I do not tolerate any bs. When the self respect stems from knowing yourself, not what others think of you, you will start to attract respect.

I don't want to walk in a room and have everyone look at me

I always force myself to not lie and tell only truth in the workplace, and I got promoted much faster than the colleagues who's been working there much longer than me. Bc my words have so much power. Everything is truth. My colleagues always asked me why I don't work smart like they do which is deceiving their boss. They have a different concept of smart.

You provide the scientific gap i needed to accompany my interest in spirituality. I be watching these videos on manifestation and how to level up your life and all that and then I watch something with Dr. K in it and he provides the science. I am so emotional. I could never meditate until I learned the science about it and ever since finding out about Dr. K in August of last year, my life has completely transformed for the better.

This guy is a monk in a tie 👔...what brilliant insights brother...🤘

I had this happen a lot from highschool until today. But because I was so weirded out and confused by it from highschool, it made me turn inwardly and try to be a wallflower instead. I seem to have been successful at that, yay, but it still exudes on its own without my control in most cases.

But what KIND of authenticity? Clearly, not all authentic personalities, even ones that deal well with negativity, are respected by people. Hell, even personalities that are incredibly confident in being who they are are not automatically well respected! EDIT: Okay, I see people critiquing this comment because of a belief that being respected is not a form of being liked. Fair enough. Doesn't change what I said, so I swapped the word liked for respected in the comment. Being authentic DOES NOT MAKE YOU RESPECTED.

I must be harder on myself than I previously imagined then.

Thank you for sharing, sage advice for sure!

Yes, but people will often claim they're authentic and are great at navigating hardships when they actually aren't (and some people will believe)

That explains why people like me so much, I stay true to myself and accept everyone else

What is confidence? "I FEEL confident in X" -Confidence is a feeling, so not something that can be exactly measured, but that's ok. -You can be confident IN something, e.g. your friends, an institution, yourself etc. -More specifically, self-confidence means that WHEN X happens you FEEL you WILL be able to do Y. -So Self-Confidence is about how you feel about your abilities. -I am not confident in my ability to perform surgery, as I am not a surgeon. -Therefore, it is ok and normal to not be confident in EVERYTHING. -How do can I be more confident in my ability, e.g. to be good at my job? Or to handle future stressful situations? Or anything that YOU choose to become more confident in? -You reflect upon what you have already achieved and what your current state of abilities are and how that helped in navigating past situations -You make a plan to utilize these abilities better in the future and then put yourself in situations that challenge them -If there is a gap, make a conscious effort to learn the skills needed to make you more capable. -Lastly, don't be too hard on yourself. Building confidence takes time. What is authenticity? "I AM who I am" -Authenticity is living/behaving according to who YOU are, regardless of the judgement of others -This includes your values, personality, ABILITIES, goals and emotions -Aside from masking, we display different versions of ourselves, that are all still authentic versions of you as a whole -You can BE different as a child, as a parent, as a worker, as a partner etc. and still be authentic in all social roles -How do you become more authentic? By getting to know and accept yourself at the point of being that you are. -This does not prevent you from wanting to become someone different or improve yourself (authentic GOALS) -You are allowed to change into the person (the best version of yourself) that you want to be Both combined: Living according to who you are, makes you more confident in handling challenges. The more confident you are in yourself, the more you will put yourself into situations that challenge you (including your values, relationships, skills etc.). The more challenges you overcome, the more secure you will be in yourself. And so the story of your life continues.

Man, I love authentic people. Very difficult to find many authentic people anymore.

I like these points, I wish the short focused on one of the three points it made and fleshed it out more i feel like I would have gotten more out of an a more concentrated pointz

People might misinterpret this too. Those who are trying to “intellectually” “spiritually bypass” their true growth, to then “act” in ways that seem like they have it, but they truly don’t have it deep down. All these qualities that was claimed in this video, is not like “faking it” kind of thing. It’s truly building it deep down, often means really having certain “base nature” in oneself (like certain mindset to truly move in “proper” directions to truly be able to build them). It’s true hard work. Knowing of information doesn’t actually make the actual process (hard work) easier. The knowing of stuff, is just the first step to understanding certain “truths” exist. A “3D” analogy that most people at such “levels” that would probably need some help to understand what I mean here is: If you want to physically grow muscles, you can’t just know that carrying weights would get you there. Knowing the information to carry weights is just like the awareness for it. You still actually need to do the same amount of “work” to truky get there. Shortcuts is not to please others or to get there faster. It’s more to your disadvantage deep down as it’s just a natural phenomenon of stuff. If shortcuts truly do work (without any “consequences”), then essentially everything doesn’t need work already. (If you can’t understand this concept why it’s as such, then clearly you wouldn’t understand the reasoning of why shortcuts is unhealthy and its precisely why you truly never have a proper “strong” foundations in anything truky). It’s thus a “chicken and egg” concept analogy. Why strong people are strong, it’s precisely of a certain “mindset” that they have, more so than the actual stuff that it’s being done. The actual stuff that done is often like the natural by-product of one’s “inner processing first” (nature over nurture). 🙏

His talking the truth ❤ xxx

I’ve got a friend who has the most charisma out of anyone I have ever met. Everybody loves him. No matter who we talk to. Somehow the dude gets people to like him. He is the least authentic person I know. He lies about the smallest things. To the point I wonder if he is a real pathological liar. Cuz I’ve witnessed him having conversations where he lies about details that would not change the conversation at all. He could choose the truth or the lie and the conversation would stay the same. Yet he chooses to lie every time. And everybody loves him. Even after they figure out he is the least trustworthy person there is. The only thing I trust about him is that if there is something in it for him, he will be there. Lol I guess you could say he is authentically inauthentic lol

Sorry, but when I was making my character, I made Charisma a dump stat for the sake of better attributes, so I’m kind of hopeless in this regard.

Great response from Steven there

Truthfulness and authenticity are related but distinct concepts: Truthfulness is about accuracy and honesty. It involves stating facts as they truly are, without deception or misrepresentation. It's about external reality. Authenticity is about being true to oneself. It's about aligning your actions, thoughts, and feelings with your inner values and beliefs. It's about internal consistency. In simpler terms: Truthfulness is about saying what is real. Authenticity is about being who you truly are. While authenticity often involves being truthful, it's not always the case. For example, someone might be authentically dishonest if they lie based on their deeply held beliefs, even if those beliefs are misguided. In conclusion, while truthfulness is a foundational aspect of authenticity, authenticity goes deeper, encompassing one's entire being and alignment with their inner self. HARI OM TAT SAT 🙏🙏🙏

I would say that it's perceived authenticity. Whether others veiw you as being authentic is heavily affected by their perception. Considering we can't even detect lies more than the percentage of a coin toss, there are a lot of factors that come into play when people judge character or actions. Alot of those factors are based on personal biases and social norms. Authenticity is the answer we are all trained to say we like but it's not actually true. If it was our society would value and reward those who always were true to themselves and others. He adds that good leaders are authentic and those who can tough it through hard times, but can you really be authentic if you can't show that your struggling. The fact is we are attracted to people who appear to have values that they we desire ourselves. We hang around these charismatic characters in hopes that what they have will rub off on us instead of actually looking at the effort needed to achieve what we want or admit that what we want isn't something we can be. When we say why we admire or like a person our answers tend to be extremely shallow aligning only with our own interest. We don't go into analyzing the depth of another person nor their hardships. In fact ot ruins the illusion and often makes people push away if they know the truth. Simply unabled to be bothered with anything that doesn't relate to your own investments.

Nice shirt and tie BUT I liked your usual casual way

It cracked me up when after that whole speech the other guy just goes "mmmhhh"

😂 😂 That reaction at the end

authenticity: hell yeah, I am authentic as hell. If i try to copy, i just look a spoofed version of other people. hability to deal with negative situations: yeah, ill never be a leader

How do you explain largely very unauthentic psychopaths staying perceived as charismatic?

😮 this explains why I always get picked for leadership despite the fact that I never ask for it.

It’s the highest vibrational frequency❤

AUTISM ON WOMEN. Please can you do a video on undiagnosed autism on women. What are the similarities between ADHD on women and autism on women? What are the differences?

From my analysis: In DnD Charisma is a measure of the Strength of your Self and your personality. This is why Sorcerers use it to cast their spells: Their magical powers come from their bloodline. This is also why Undeads typically don't have Charisma, they are simply corpses that have been raised but their souls have already left. Druids and Priests get their magical powers from Nature and the gods, respectively, and they use Wisdom for it: As such, Wisdom is defined as the ability to find and understand messages that come from the outside. This is also supported by the fact that Wisdom helps you Listen, Spot and Sense Motive. Animals also have high Wisdom because their sense are simply more developed than human senses. Intelligence and knowledge also exist independently of each other, but Intelligence helps you complete a Knowledge that you might not have, but have everything you need to deduce. Intelligence is the ability to create and assemble Knowledge. Fun fact: You don't need to be super smart to become a doctor or do some hard mathematics, you can also be totally stupid but have perfectly memorized all the information we have on these subjects and you will do just fine. They also say that these are the only characteristics that define your mental abilities, and everything else is Skill that you can easily train. Btw, I only play Barbarian because sword goes shwoo

Makes sense, my favorite bosses are always the ones that tell me exactly what they think of me

i love Dr. K

My previous boss is like that. He is so confident and competent at the same time. When he talks, everybody listens even people of higher position. Very eloquent as well. I still wonder how he does that 😂

What you respect, what you respond to, what you react to are at times different.

This is me but I’m 30 years old in a workplace where most are 20 years older. Patience is the key too.

People mistake this because you can take a challenge without reacting and think that you are weak. The key is to see a challenge and react positively instead of not reacting.

The "mmmmh" smirk at the end

That nod at the end speaks volumes! 😅

*have faith*

Authenticity is why I'm alone. No one matches my ethics and morals.

The ability to go around the obstacle (other people) is bolstered by self confidence and helps also respect that in others.

They don't know my psychoneuroimmunology son!

In my experience people don’t like it when you have authenticity or not afraid of conflict.

Well dang maybe that’s why people literally stop and look at me for what seems to be no reason at all and I get annoyed on the inside and say rude things in my head because I don’t understand and it gets old really fast when it makes no sense. Maybe it’s because I live in a small town full of bums and fakes so I stand out more. I guess I’ll see how this goes today because it’s a regular daily thing for me.

It is not manipulation, manipulation is a negative term. It is called influence and influence is part of human relationships.

Ok. But I’ve met like 3 authentic people in my life and leaders are the most manipulative of all

That's the double entendre of Charisma and leadership. In order to be successful you have to appear authentic, but also have to understand that you are manipulating people to your own ends. Those two things sound inherently contradictory, so what we end up with is a lot of snake oil salesmen who think their shit don't stink

Two people i randomly think of, who have charisma and authenticity: David Attenborough and Keanu Reeves. No need to explain. 🌿☕🧡

Damn Dr K 😫

his smile was like yeah umm soooo what pizza do you want?

Not everybody wants to manipulate idiots...

I agree. A authentic person will shine bigger. But theres a LOT of liars in the world that have a following as well being followed by sheep that have no idea whats up. If those leaders had to face authentic people theyd be exposed. They usually thrive by making their sheep and themselves isolated.

It would be good to remember that my gut wrenching current struggles are preparing me to lead, wouldn't it? It would be good to treat myself with authentic kindness, so that when I feel eyes on me I feel recognized and not stared at, wouldn't it?

Are social skills authentic?

Brillant!

Left this game a while back and returned to see both my mains are now rapids that’s require skill. Life is good

Charisma is mostly looks.

Authenticity yes. Not bleeding authenticity yes😅 But authenticity yes. What is bleeding though 🤔 - I appreciate 😊

HAHAH THE RANDOM REACTION AT THE END

Tea, though, a lot of people don’t consider this in self reporting I don’t think, but the leader has to be agreeable too. I think you have to be authentic to an agreeable/socially acceptable amount otherwise you end up othering yourself and lose relatability

Doctor K looks like Zubin from Tally Hall here bro

Is it actually authenticity that makes the best leader or is it the best leader who makes people feel like he is authentic? Acting is fake but the best acting feels real.

I went out once with a guy who was very charismatic, but it was all in the wrong ways -- it was to hide things, and, namely, he just wanted to get in my pants. There was no authenticity, but the charisma masked his intentions. Sometimes not so good people are very charismatic, but that's because they have things (intentions) to hide. I picked up on it later after the date, and I'm glad I didn't have a second date with him. He turned out to be quite creepy in subsequent text messages.

I believe I can fly

I will authentically be a character

I think this is only true if one's personality fits the cultural norms

I cannot wait until we have a work full of leaders with the qualities he just mentioned. Horrible bosses are too common and they always lack authentic (and integrity). 😢

Most people think they want authenticity but can’t spot it and get played by the fakes

Is authenticity and sincerity the same or are they different?

🤙 🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙 🤙

I guess authenticity doesn't mean "good" because I'm always witnessing the "bad guys" win. The amazing leaders who actually care about their people just get fired, "let go" and replaced by cut throats who only seem to care about themselves.

stupid people are loud and smart people keep to themselves but a charismatic person is the one who says, if youre gonna be shouting tell smarty i need em. We literally direct energy and see the importance of everything. but its not until a decision is needed to be made when the true leader stands out. So most of the time charismatic people are usually in guise and dont need to be known until the decision needs confrontation. We can usually direct things to go as they should with simple phrases but once the authenticity and integrity of the decision is compromised that is when we destroy the fabric of reality and rebuild it with truth. Sometimes that can be harsh but most of the time it is freeing and brings true evolution to the scene.

my brain has been so rotted by tiktok that I instantly thought aura

I've got both! Never made the connection.

Why have people always hated me when I was being authentically myself? For context, I am autistic. I have kind of attributed it to social differences that people pick up on even when I am masking.

This explains why no matter what group of friends i have, i end up being the leader. My life has been one disaster after another so i learned how to deal with things very easily and i value being honest and authentic with people. I never seek the leadership position but it always lands in my lap.

The most charismatic people are actually the least authentic, they are just very good at fooling people into believing they are. And it's not that people look for people who can overcome adversity, we are conditioned to value people who are buffered from the consequences of their mistakes.

I hate you for pointing this out in me like that , i try to be truly authentic to everyone I meet and I'm naturally good at navigating negative challenges, but I don't wanna be a leader that's hardddddd😂

Right... sooo... yelling out FUCK! whenever something bad happens is not the best idea.

But what if my authentic self is an asshole?

My stalkers want the first one but they can’t seem to get it 😂

In big corporations, all the old fish there are grouped into these small gangs and will bully anyone who is authentic and has confidence, because you are a threat to them.

Yeah ive been that for years but im still single and lonelier than ive ever been.

This is true. If my boss is fake I am nit don't shmith

Every company, or often department within, has its own brand of hierarchical or corporate environment, with its own purposely or randomly established level of (or lack of) rules, sanity, toxicity or sense. Not the best kind of environment to draw a general conclusion over the results or rewards drawn from authenticity as opposed to “fake it till you make it”. In my observational and painful experience, the latter tends to more often win.

“Mind over matter”

Chrasma is "having a vision" and communicating it. It's usually authentic but it doesn't have to be. Policians whole gimmick is giving people a vision whiling have ulterior motives. The vision is also why charsmatic people get through hard times. Even if set backs happen, they still think they know how things should look in the world, and how people should behave. They move themselves and others towards their imaginary vision. "Communicating your vision" is more accurate than authentic, unfortinuately. I joined a cult when I was 16 and moved out when I was 24. I lived in the cult leaders attic. He was physically disabled, soft spoken, introverted, and couldn't carry a conversation very well. But he knew exactly what everyone shpuld be doing in their life and how to make everything better (and God told him, of course). Theres a lot of other tricks he did, including manipulation. But really just someone have clear vision for you is what drew all the young people who felt lost in the world

Because of this, you can cast spells upon people to influence them!

Feels like I'm cooked because my brain has been attacking itself and putting itself down since i was around 10 years old. I'm 30 now and just barely pushing

Fabulous! I love this guy! God bless his heart! ...and his brain & his soul & his family. I love how he describes the way being an authentic human being, with the capacity to navigate negative challenges, changes the way a person conducts his/herself, in a way that causes others to notice them when they walk into a room. Beautifully said! I have experienced this as a leader in my 40s and when needing strong leadership as a child & young adult.

Idk if I would call authenticity the most important part of charisma. It's not very charismatic to be excitedly bubbling over with stumbly words talking about my favorite thing even if that is my authentic self. Charisma inherently involves control and reigning in some of your authenticity in order to be likeable

The mind is powerful…. 😅