What is Codependency and How to Overcome It? 

I just downloaded it. Thank you!

There are tons of discussions on this topic. It is huge in recovery and personal development circles. It is a main topic addressed in regards to relationships. Codependency is self abandonment, at its heart…which leads to all sorts of relational sabotage. I’d say it’s more widely known about (more accurately known) than in the 80’s for sure.

Very similar story here. Thank you Melody!!🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏

Mind if I ask you how long it took you to get the courage to move out? I'm trying to help my BFF leave a DV relationship and move in with me, then focus on addressing her polysubstance abuse. (Her drug of choice is "more") Her partner treats her like a POS. This afternoon she sent me a picture of the results of her French braiding the $#%&'s hair! I'm getting very tired of being the sounding board but never having my advice taken 😩.

i know your question isn't for me but i want to add my opinion. Sadly, in these kinds of situations, it's not your place to try to rescue her or save her. You CANNOT change someone else, they need to want to change, and the desire to change needs to come from inside of themselves, not from someone else. Speaking as someone who's been in a similar situation with one of my best friends, this is my advice. Your strong desire to fix her life is a sign of your own Codependency that needs addressing. Please read "Codependent No More" urgently! It will save YOUR life, and will give you the strength and understanding to deal with other people in your life who are dealing with problems such as these. In the 22 years that I've known my bestie, I've supported her through dealing with her horrendous husband who mistreats her. SO MANY TIMES I've thought she was definitely going to leave him, or she did leave him only to go back. It's NEVER happened, and all its done is drained my energy. So now i listen, i give my advice in a detached way, and step back to allow her to make her own life choices. She knows I'm always here for her IF SHE CHOOSES to leave him and come to me for help and support. Over all this time, she's never managed to leave him for good, but she has managed to find her own inner strength and courage. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but i hope it may help you to see an alternative way of looking at it 🙏

@@richardclark4931 There is an entire chapter on Detachment in Melody’s book. As codependents we focus on the addict’s behavior to the detriment of ourselves. Detachment allows us to detach from the addict and focus on our needs and recovery. It becomes self preservation when we stop trying to control things we have no business trying to control. I say this in love and not judgement. ♥️

@@richardclark4931 There is an entire chapter on Detachment in Melody’s book. I learned to turn the focus away from the addict in my life and to my own recovery and therapy. It gave me the courage to leave a very dangerous relationship.

I know what you mean but scripture such as the bible teaches that women should honour their husbands but men should treat their wives with love and respect. This shows that God sees us as equals but in our own way

​@@mark-ge2yland vice-versa

There’s a big difference between cluster Bs and empathic codependent folks.

They usually aren’t trying to self reflect or change either

Hmmmm. IMHO Interesting how distracted the piano was for you. Maybe your soul wasn't truly ready to hear the message?

I’m sorry. Know you are loved and god will send you someone that cares about you and values you… sometimes god makes things like this happen on purpose god works in mysterious ways but everything that is in gods plan is meant ti happen and everything will be okay

This thought crossed my mind as well. But she is speaking from experience, and while there are gendered terms used, it is never used in opposition. I feel the overall value of her words outweighs the gender specificity.