What Is Depersonalization? 

Hi I'm Dr. Julie subscribe & follow me for lots more videos on mental health and psychology. For more on this see my new no.1 bestselling book - Why has nobody told me this before? 👉 linktr.ee/drjuliesmith

You’re always so warm… it’s like you’re hugging me in real life each time 🙏🏻 Thank you 🧡

I have anxiety and I've had this happen a lot. It feels like an out of body experience and where you see your body as a seperate being than who you are in your brain.

I experience this alot and have tried talking to family and friends because it genuinely scares me sometimes, but nobody seems to understand. I'm glad there are other people like me and I'm not the only one. This video has helped me alot. Thankyou.

Back in a major depressive episode my depersonalization made music feel completely off. It felt faster than I had remembered it ever going.

Would love to see a short like this on derealisation. Thank you doctor!

Yup, I've experienced it! The most extensive was when I went back to work after my late husband died 4 years ago. My heart was utterly broken, and everyone in the grocery store was moving ridiculously fast! It felt like that for around a week or two until I adjusted. I couldn't grieve while working, and I only had 10 days off after he died. I needed 3-6 months!

I was telling a therapist i had about how i didn’t feel like a person, especially during the abuse/neglect. She told me about this one extreme case of depersonalization where the lady moved states and started a new life. She told me that’s REAL depersonalization. Completely invalidated me not knowing anything of my abuse story.

Yes! I am 15 years old, and I always thought I had derealization, but this just lumped together all of the things that i have learned about myself as time went on. For example, I had only realized today that I feel numb a lot. Almost as if nothing matters unless something is good or bad. I love reading all of you lovely people’s comments as well. You are amazing guys

I felt disconnected not only with myself but also the world. Felt as if i am the loneliest peraon alive. Initially had lots of anxiety and very high heart beats for almost 2 years. Then it was mix of high level of anxiety and numbness both at the same time which tore me apart (as if a war like situation between heart and mind) I kept crying, lost weight and had sleepless nights for months. That time only prayers worked for me. Later I went completely numb of emotions. Had Mostly deep sadness and frightening dreams at night. Everything was traumatic. I left all social media and kept away from family and friends. Nothing was working out. Took 4 years to recover somewhat.

Oh yes I have experienced this so much. I was diagnosed with PTSD at age 14 due to childhood trauma. Now as an adult I get these symptoms when I'm experiencing a period of high stress. It's a terrible feeling but I wouldn't say I have it constantly. Thanks for explaining this. ❤

This was me through most of high school. Felt like I just floated around like a balloon, not really present, totally numb. I used to imagine that I could phase through objects, because my body really felt that way, as if ai wasnt properly in it. I wanted to be alone all the time because when people talked to me, when they were around me, I had to pretend to be a real person and that was really exhausting. I had a therapist, but he was also seeing my mom at the same time, and because I had a lot of conflict with my mom that presented a huge conflict of interest, and he wasn't very supportive. My therapy was about making me less of a problem, not helping me feel better. I tried to commit suicide a year after graduation, and everyone was shocked, as if they hadn't been paying any attention at all for the last five years. I'm 36 now. Life is good, and I'm doing quite well.

I love how you always have something on the table to look at. Exactly what my adhd brain needs

I felt like this every day for well over a decade. I talked to friends and family about it and several therapist, and no one - including my psychiatrist - understood what I was saying. They all treated me like I was crazy. I had to claw my way out of it on my own, and I still feel like it never quite went away.

This happened to me a few times when I was younger. I called them out of body experiences, the first time my young self literally thought I died and it felt like I was looking over my body. I guess mine would be from childhood trauma, I don’t have them anymore; but this was around the time that my father told me in detail how he killed my mother after she left him. He hadn’t actually killed her and about 6 months later I was in her custody.

You understand what I am going through without actually knowing me. Such profound statements that actually make sense to so many! Thank you for sharing your wisdom❤

It used to happen in my childhood and still it happens when I focus on myself too much while looking in the mirror

I’ve had this most of my life, more after my 30’s. There would be times I’ll be washing the dishes and looking at my hands and asking myself who’s are they? I’d be walking but not knowing who the actual person is walking. This would bring severe panic attacks as a result. I was scared of myself. I’ve experienced childhood trauma. This maybe why. After I had my son it went away. I’m in my late 40’s now I do get that feeling every now and then but not so bad as I used to. Never knew this was a actual problem some people have. I know what disassociation is never knew about depersonalisation. It’s a relief that you explained it Dr. Julie. Thank you 🙏

Have definitely felt this, like experiencing my tired soul being confused with whatever is going on with the current reality

Still happens to me in my 30's. Everyone's voice starts to echo and fade. And somehow I forget to blink and look like a zombie

Your doing great work mam... Every time I go through your videos... I feel warm, encouraged and "I can overcome my anxiety too"

Oh my God I get this all the time. I think it's a trauma response

I'm so happy that I have overcome the times where this has happened to me constantly

Always. To me, recognizing and acknowledging "where I am" and "how I'm feeling" is helpful for those who are under depersonalization.

I've had these since I was child. I remember in kindergarten how I suddenly felt like I wasn't here or alive or that I simply didn't just exist. It's so weird ti explain but I remember as a kid always saying "oh, it's happening again. I don't exist." Nobody ever reacted to this and I still wonder why. It still happens to this day once in a while and so bizarre.

I have experienced this during panic attacks and never really understood why it’s good to have some extra information thanks Julie ❤

I struggling with this right now, glad to hear it’s quite normal and other people feel it.

Thank you for talking about that.. I've been suffering from DP and DR since almost 10 years, and almost every day. Nothing feels real sometimes and I don't know anymore what to do.. thanks for talking about that :)

I was literally just experiencing this yesterday at school and it was so scary. I had to stay home today because I feel like I couldn't focus on anything.

Weird how accurately this describes my experience. I usually tell people that there are two mes. One is sitting in the front seat driving my life around and in control but also kinda panicking and the other is sitting on the couch eating popcorn and watching the comedy movie that is my life. It’s how I explain to people why in a stressful situation I seem greatly amused. It’s the one on the couch

I've experienced this a couple of times when looking in the mirror. Quite terrifying. I could do this on purpose, I realized, but chose not to do that anymore. The feeling was too uncomfortable.

My heart goes out to all the other athletes that experience this during practice it’s seriously scary sending love your way

Yes, I have been living like this for almost 20 years 😪 Been trying so hard for many years, to come in contact with my emotions again, but it's not easy... Somatic experiencing is helping me a little bit now.

That description brought back a childhood memory. I was just 5 years old and stood in front of a mirror after a violent outbreak of my mom. I just asked myself, who I was looking at. That was so strange.

As a kid, living in abuse so bad my whole life was pain and fear, I once looked straight at myself in the mirror and thought it was some random other person, didn't recognize myself at all for like a solid minute.

I have had theese kind of feelings sometimes but I just always thought it was the way my mind tells me I am tired or sad. I didn't know what it was called but when you explained this I suddently regonized those feelings.

I’ve had this constant state for 3 years 24/7 it’s horrible

I was experiencing this today and thinking what is wrong with me then this video popped up at the right time. Thankyou docter julie ❤

Great story Lady NoSleep, tugging at my heart strings again. Had to restart it because as soon as dementia is mentioned i loose it, my Father had vascular dementia, wish there was more i could have done but its such a cruel disease, relentless and unforgiving. Thanks for another great upload, passed a bit of time on a gloomy wet Saturday afternoon/ evening. 💗

You explained how I faced a lot of my life.i feel like I am going to parties etc but not feeling it. Like it's difficult to explain but you don't actually feel what's going on to the fullest. You are the first person who could explain what I am feeling.

That numbness you mentioned is utterly correct . I could also hear the heart beat from what felt like it was on the outside of my body . Totally detached ..I stared and studied my hands wondering how theyre even moving as I'm not controlling them. 😮

i’ve been stuck like this over a year and just accepted it as a new normal but I think it’s getting better

I thought this was just my imagination being weird, now that I know what it is makes so much sense!! Even more that is connected to childhood trauma, I collect some. I've developed anxiety and probably some other disorders as well. I'm not ready to start psychological treatment yet (it terrifies me to even think about it) but feels good to understand what I went through and where it came from. Thank you for explaining.

Yes. It felt like a vacuum sucked my soul out of my body, and I was watching myself from the sky. I managed to keep calm as I figured it would pass, but it was a really strange experience that I would rather not ever have to go through again.

I was literally just trying to explain this to my sister .😅

Oh my god. This is me. Thank you for giving me a word for this

I didn’t feel my body till I was 36, now I’m getting emotions back which is overwhelming. It’s a process!

I experienced this as a coping mechanism from being severely traumatized in childhood from my family unit. It was like growing up in a house full of strangers that thought that everyone was trying to manipulate or hurt each other and no one trusted anyone enough to confide in anyone when they were in pain and also couldn't share their triumph with anyone because it was flat out ignored or devalued to the point that it hurt to share celebratory news. Instead of having out of body experiences, I had inner body experiences because I was "locked" inside my mind so that I could feel a sense of protection and be able to self actualize and therefore be able to dismiss my severe anxiety of living with people that felt predatory. I do believe this is how I developed a schizoid personality disorder, and the only time I feel entirely safe is when I'm alone, so I seek out time to be alone as much as possible while still having a job. I really have very little social life and find it harder and harder to maintain one as I get older. The externalized version of me is quiet, but kind and warm to people, but I am very careful to maintain barriers so that I don't develop personal relationships. I recently had been trying to do this after coming out of a trauma induced hibernation (when I was living with family), but have found the closer people try to get to me, the further I push myself away.

I’m hearing so much of this now.. I’m 53 and the first time I remember feeling that I was about 9 yrs old, it would only happen at high stressful situations and only worsened with time. I visited psychologists since my late teens and they didn’t understand what I explained..😞 I finally do and thank you and so many others who bring this to light. The book DARE has helped me a lot, I got to a point that I was quite anxious driving in certain situations and I’ve been overcoming those slowly.. Depersonalization is very stressful when it happens if you are driving or presenting in front of people 🥺

The sand timer is really stressing me out… I’ve experienced depersonalization three times that I can remember, it’s such a strange experience. Once when my parents donated my crib as a baby, once laying in bed with my ex (huge red flag that I ignored) and once sitting around a campfire (drugs were involved.) I think if it ever happens again I’ll know that I need to really pause and reflect on what’s happening in my life at that time so that I can adjust my focus to align better with my goals.

Working through this with my therapist currently ❤ thank you for your videos, they help me feel less alone in my struggles

I’ve been dealing with that a few times this year. It was my first time being hospitalized for mental health and I felt like I was observing someone else going through what I went through. Sometimes I question who I am, like did everything actually happen in my life or am I dreaming? It’s a weird and sometimes scary feeling when you start questioning your own existence

love the visuals as usual. Does it include when one is taking a walk and the surroundings all look like you are in a movie? I go to the woods to walk my dog and lately it dont feel I am seeing as I used to, when I look at everything around me it feels like iam staring through a screen

Definitely. I would say even having out of body experiences while being sexually abused as a child. Really hard to reintegrate my body. I wish there was some ideas to help me.

Hi Dr. Julie! Thank you so much for this video. I’ve recently been experiencing depersonalization and derealization episodes due yo an autoimmune condition I’ve had for 9 years. This is fairly new to me and this video might help my family to understand what I’m going through better. Thank you so much!

I love the way she puts things in fromt of her for us to focus on to keep us listening without having to look at her ❤

I have felt this. I have felt it since 9 years old. When I got my first spouse. But the thing is, I never liked her romantically, so I was forced into the relationship. She never clicked with me in the way that a true partner would. She was manipulative and never listened to my emotions and would always say she would be “Sad” without me. But the truth is that she wouldn’t. She didn’t miss me when I wasn’t at school. She didn’t miss me when I didn’t call her. And she didn’t miss me when I broke up with her, earlier this year. Some may say I’m over exaggerating the situation because I was 9 then and 11 now and call me petty, but I was destroyed by the amount of mental trauma she caused me. I may not be with her anymore but I still feel the pain.

This happens to me, especially when I moved with my family from NZ to the US and I did feel this way. Not to long after the move I discovered that I have anxiety and that was a big part of it. Thank you so much for the vids they help a lot

I am so thankful and happy that a psychologist is making content for people who deeply struggle with mental health. It’s a nice break from the world and all of the drama of social media.

I experienced it a lot when I lost my grandma, and I experience it every once and a while since then.

I've had this feeling during elementary, during school whenever that feeling pops out I would start panicking and cry around the school, I couldn't feel embarrassed because I was too focused enduring depersonalization. Talked to my parents about this and they kept saying It's nonsense and would go away soon, I had to endure this feeling from 4th grade to finishing elementary. Now I'm glad that I am able to control and calm myself down whenever that feeling comes back...but then again it feels so wrong.

I love the way she explains things. It’s uncomplicated and easy to grasp. I wish she could be my therapist!

I think most of the people has experienced this. That's why this video is still passing through everyone.

I experienced this ALOT when I was young...around grade 4 -6. It would literally feel like the "simulation" that was my life stopped for a moment. You go somewhere else, somewhere strange

Yes, I experience this whenever my sleep deprivation gets really bad. It feels like im loosing it but I remind myself that it’s the sleep deprivation.

I can feel the compassion in her heart through the screen ❤

I am really happy to hear that many people are going through the same thing and sharing thoughts

When i feel this, i just sleep. To refresh

I have anxiety, am a major people pleaser, and can’t really quite live with myself when making a mistake, I grew up in a household where my parents were always stressed, barely ever in a good mood, it created a deep impact on me because I was constantly being told to fix everything, I felt like I was someone else, here I am, years later, realizing I was manipulated into doing tasks that were to much for me at the age of 8. The truth hurts, but has benefits. Thank you for bringing this information to me. I greatly appreciate it.

I’ve definitely felt this! It made me feel lost. Thank you for putting a name to it. 🙏🏻

Following you makes me realize that I need to reach out to someone but there is no one I can reach out to because if I did tell anyone it would feel like putting a burden onto them for keeping my secret that would ruin my (and my family’s life).

Yes sometimes I feel I am not me

Your voice gives me a soothing effect in my mind. I experience myself numb all the time for last three years now.

As someone who has chronic bipolar disorder and hypochondria, this is exactly how I feel every single day😢

Hello, I just came across a short video as I was scrolling through Reels...the video had caught my attention and what you said really resonated and made total sense. So I checked out your page and this one actually touched on something. I have always been interested in psychology and am actually in my 700s section in college, however that was a while ago and I NEVER even considered depersonalization! However EVERYTHING you stated, signs/symptoms....I actually have/do! I'm 47 and have been through NUMEROUS DRAMATIC incidents throughout my life...which I'm sure EVERYONE has experienced...it's called LIFE...however...I've been questioning a couple of things that I CANNOT find out why or even if anything happened....this is getting too long...I'm just ready to look into this now further. I just wanted to thank you for your extremely informative posts...I'm glad I came across you. I did Like & Subscribed your channel. And I saw (read actually) 9 on the 1st attempt

This makes so much sense, i have definitely felt this way before when i was having trouble in school and was put on new medication, i felt this exact way, in my words as a kid i felt "dead" no one cared until my legs were literally so purple from lack of circulation that the teacher thankfully sent me home. When i tried to articulate what was happening to me to my father and step mother my dad said "so what? You want me to take you to the hospital then?" And my step mum said "you're a drama queen". I felt utterly hopeless and crushed. I know i was a troubled kid that couldn't stay in school but, i couldn't fathom what they had said to me. Now as an adult i strive to understand others and spend my free time researching psychology, i never ever want to make someone feel the way i felt all those years, misunderstood and not cared for.

This pulled me back to reality thank you.

I actually commented on one of your videos about this (different video but kinda simular content). And i never knew you talked about this until just now. 🧡🧡

As far back as I can remember my father had mental health issues. My entire life was spent listening to the fights, and I felt neglected. One day, when I was older, my father had burned himself with hot water while I was at school. (It was not very bad) I was exited and wanted to show him something, so I grabbed his arm and pulled it. Time seemed to slow down as he yelled at me, and I ran off crying. I think the root of my anxiety is linked to feeling like nobody wanted me. Your videos have really helped me. Thank you.

I experienced it the days after a car accident. It was strange and scary, like my real self died in the accident. Then I went for a run. A really long run and suddenly with each km passed I was able to feel myself and my body again. It was just a run. But it felt like I found myself again and pulled me out of the feeling of being not alive, but not dead either

I "died" when I was born, was abused in multiple ways until I was 7 years old, was in gifted programs in an extremely rural area which just dump you after 6th grade, had a terrible medical discharge from the military. I just found this lady and have watched several of her videos and she's spot on. I went to therapy for two years and learned a lot. I hope she does well in life.

Yes, I have experienced this and I honestly didn’t think much about it. I thought it was just my brain being silly for no reason 😅

Yes I have experienced it, definitely under high stress situations. And even just when it feels like things are stressful even when their not.

I'm experiencing this now, I've had it for a while. I haven't been diagnosed, but what you've just said is true about what I feel like.

Yes. CPTSD. I am going through mild depression too.

Depersonalization is being ghosted after betrayal and lies from a woman you love. My experience taught me this Julie.

I have depersonalization and I think watching you is enough for me to cure it😊😊

This happens to me so so often and it’s always confused me, thank you for making this video, I would’ve never known.

I had it for several months after my mom unexpectedly died. I felt shocked, shaken and lost. Alone in the whole world. With all my hopes and dreams crushed. When I finally began to see myself in the mirror as me and not some stranger, I knew I got better in my grief process.

I literally cry when I watch your videos 🥹

when i came out to my parents as trans, they had such a negative reaction that i was forced to pretend to be a girl again. after a year or so, i just began to embrace the situation i was in and take a positive spin on it by wearing dresses and makeup and growing my hair out and looking pretty. but it never felt like me, just this pretty doll i was playing dress up with staring back. once the hairdressers cut my hair WAY too short, short enough that i could look boyish again like i used to, and i cried when i was alone because i saw myself - i felt exposed about who the real me was - and just wanted to hide behind the doll again because the real me created so much trauma. i don't know if it's depersonalisation - i still want to hide my true self far far away because I'm so scared of backlash and breaking my family apart. the situation feels do acute and specific, i don't know who else has to go through this. coming out appears so easy to them.

.... Honestly I feel this most of the time

I never knew what this was until now. Thank you for explaining this and now I don’t feel abnormal anymore

Absolutely!!! She described my whole life!

Felt like that once or twice. Called it "an unreal feeling."

Yep, all the time and it kinda helps me to get through some tough times.

I still have these feeling and thoughts at 66. I do not recognize myself when I look n the mirror. I hate my look. When I lost my mom in 2022, my self- help plummeted. I lost a lot of weight and I was already small, but now I am at 120 lbs and I am 5"7. I still feel very detached, and I don't know what to do about it. Thank u for giving this problem a face, so now I understand why I am not normal. I had a childhood trauma with my military/police dad. I simply tolerate myself now, and put on a good face on the public and family. Inside, I am totally frustrated with myself. Felt like this for a very long time.😢

Wow. I'm so glad this has a name. I have experienced this slowed down moments of depersonalization during traumatic times and I always wondered what it was

Ive never but listening to u every day makes me feel more calm. Ppl who can relate ❤❤

Experiencing this at the same time as derealization is hell. Both are very difficult experiences to explain to others who've never had them! Thabks for mentioning it and about the effect it can have on ur perception of time