Find out what it was like for Sam's sister growing up in a polygamous family, what that meant for her as a girl and how hard it was for her to leave the FLDS religion as a woman.
sam, my experience and yours have many parallels. I was born flds, left home at 16 in 1998. Your story of the family taking you in touched my heart. I am grateful for them and the love that they showed to you. The transition on your own can be pure hell for some. I was the first from my family to leave. My departure was hasty, I told no one and didn’t even leave a note. I left one Sunday afternoon with $10 in my pocket, no phone, no car and nowhere to live. It was a very rocky few years to get somewhat comfortable on my own. I wish I could hug the amazing people that took you in and loved you as their own. Thanks for sharing your story.
Mind if I ask where u are now? Not "where" obviously, but how ur life is going? It's hard even on the "outside" to move forward with nothing. I know I'm a stranger but I'm proud of u. I've been through my own complete transformations and it's not easy.
Sam is so respectful. Recognizing that it must have been hard on the “mothers” Even though he’s left, he speaks with such respect. I admire the depth and growth.
About hugging, try to remember that people who have been abused, sexually, emotionally or physically are not likely to be comfortable with hugging. It's best to ask if they are okay with a hug.
My mum was like this. She didn't like being hugged (and still doesn't). Then she gave birth to a happy hugger (me). She says I gave her tight hugs even as a baby - it used to amaze her and somehow baby hugs were fine for her. Although she is still uncomfortable with hugging in general, she still accepts and expects my hugs 😀.
@@carissafisher7514 why? Why should they have to learn? I’ve never been abused, but I don’t like hugs. I only hug my daughter and even she sometimes is like no thanks. Hugs aren’t a need in the world. 🙄
I had a two week period of sexual harassment from two school mates+ creepy teacher. And a year earlier a kid stepped over my boundaries and I have issues with touch of any kind. Not fun, trusting anyone is kinda hard, just imagine having the sight of one the guys in street. Instant panic. The other one, also one who harassed my brother, creeper (ah!). Confirmed my own feelings. Oh, also, as a 15 years old kid, I had my own expression of affection through hugging. If I trust you I hug, tease and let you pick me up (one of my closest friends, my older brother from another mother) and be annoying to the point of confusing people *we're a couple* but we're not. He's my beard, if I can say this.
Imagine some male supposed prophet who never did his own laundry telling the women to do their laundry with one hand. As if they didn’t have enough to deal with doing laundry for dozens of kids and their husband, now do it with one hand! The clear mark of rules being set by detached men who don’t ever truly have to abide by the nonsense they put on others.
Hair tutorial!!!! Please!! More with teffy doing anything. I find her absolutely intriguing. So glad to have the privilege of listening to her and you guys too
Can't even tell you guys how much empathy I have for you!! I grew up a Jehovahs Witness, and there are so many parallels....(without the polygamy)!! I walked away from the witnesses and am now considered an apostate...sounds so similar! Sending love!!!
Same! I left at 24 and it was hard because I had no friends or family anymore. People don't realize we weren't allowed to have friends outside the religion
My ex left the witness when he was 14 and would never go back he won't even let our child near a kingdom hall, like he lost his shit when his sister asked if she could take our child I've never seen him like that before.
My grandmother was ex communicated from Jehovas witnesses becshe refused to marry who they suggested. My mom was 12 and it shook her. So sad. That was all they knew.
It was interesting to see that your sister still has an accent. You can hear it when she speaks as with Sam he doesn't seem to have an accent at all. Great video and enjoy seeing the relief that you are now free from your religion. It is almost like someone being released from jail and learning to live in the real world.
I love Tephi and Sam's spirit. Rebellious, respectful, loving. Amazing people. I've just found your channel and am learning so much about the community and really admire how kindly you talk about your family and friends, even though they're unable to continue that relationship as that loss is huge and could easily turn someone's heart hard.
(Melissa Responding) Thank you so much! You are so sweet! We are hoping to have her on some more videos soon! It was so much fun to get to film with her! =)
After listening to this video, it would be great to have a video featuring the brother that Sam left with. Seems like the 2 of them went through a lot together, so it would be interesting hearing from him, if possible.
Yes I would love to see your sister style your wife in the Flds style that would be great! I would love to see more of your sister and hear from her. Seems like it’s so hard for her to talk/express herself!
aw seeing Teffy give Melissa a pouf would be so fun! Thanks to your sis for coming on and sharing her story, I hope she joins you guys for more vids in the future :) I was one of the people who asked about hair before and I thought her answer was really interesting
I would love to see Teffy show the hair styles! 💞 This was such an interesting interview! Looking forward to hearing more from Teffy! Thanks for sharing!
Yes! Hair tutorial on Melissa!!!! Great first interview. I hope she does more. Your sister is beautiful and is very brave to share her heart the way she did. You both always share in the best interest of others because you care for your family and it really shines through. That must be so hard to not see them regularly.
So interesting. Love your sister and am eagerly awaiting Melissa’s makeover! That will be fun to watch. There’s still so much to learn in this world and I’m already 70yrs. (That happened fast!) ❤️🙏🏻🤗
Can Teffy talk about the issue of dating after leaving the FLDS church? I imagine that had to be a huge culture shock! I am super curious to hear what she has to say.
This is so wonderful!! How fun to see you and your sister! Thanks for joining! Also, I’d love to see a hair tutorial and any like morning routine or day time ritual vlog style videos. Maybe a FLDS cooking show? I dunno. I just love learning about your journeys!
Hey 👋🏻 new viewer here from Scotland 🏴 , watched a few videos now and I must say you and your siblings are really brave to leave the only life you knew into the unknown , I’m so happy you both are sitting telling us your story , thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
Omg this was so great thank you guys for making this video with your sister. Yes I think she should do a hair style tutorial that would be fun. You guys are so amazing 🤩 I love ❤️ all your videos! You should have more of your siblings come on are share their stories of leaving the FLDS.
This is such a great video. You should do more videos with other siblings and their experiences in the FLDS. That would be awesome. I always re watch your videos.
Wow! I would so love to compare notes with your sister. I went from LDS to Catholic and my LDS experience was very sheltered and closed off from “the world” and from a large family, then was dropped off at college having no idea what to expect from the world. And the loneliness factor I absolutely get!
Our LDS family was more like this FLDS family than perhaps many LDS families. We were very sheltered, if we left we were ostracized, we were raised with the knowledge that we'd get married and have lots of kids, the boys would serve missions and girls would go to university only long enough to meet a returned missionary. We weren't allowed to associate with anybody not LDS and certainly believed they were "bad" people, who didn't know the truth and were therefore inferior. If the definition of cult comes down to how easy is it to leave, and are there repercussions in your relationships for leaving, then how I grew up was very cultish. I believe now that it's a very fine line. I left at a young age, was Christian for a while because being religious felt right, then left that and am happier honoring my inner truths than having them spoon-fed to me by yet someone else who believes their beliefs are superior.
Thank you for being so open and honest. The culture you grew up in is so radically different from the culture that I grew up in. Answering a lot of questions I’ve had thank you very much.
This was so interesting and informative. I really enjoyed listening to it. Especially hearing these things straight from the mouths of the people who lived this life rather than just clips paired with dramatic music.
So glad I clicked this video. Fascinating and y’all are so brave!! Who was the first sibling in your family to leave?? How did they muster up the courage without knowing anything about the outside?? How did they know it was not bad outside flds? I can’t imagine how scary it would be leave your family and everything you know when there is NO ONE on the other side to help you out.
Hi Mai! One of my older brothers was the first one to leave. He had left even before it I was born. It is very difficult to have to leave family behind but fortunately for him, back in those days, those who left were still aloud to go back to visit. He also had a lot of friends that left about the same time which was good for him.
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy There is a spiritual community I think it is in England that reminds me of FLDS and they encourage young people to all take a year in the 'outside world' before committing to living the rest of their lives as a person dedicated to the community. Seems to me that having people consciously take a year away from the community for all young people as part of the discernment process makes sense. Also, it sounds like the current leader who is jailed created this 'ostracizing' of people who leave but prior to this people were still able to go back to visit. Did the current FLDS leader in jail create all the prohibitions about if a member leaves then community members including immediate family is supposed to shun you? Seems like if people could go to the 'outside world' to live and work for a year, and then could continue having the love and acceptance of family whether you choose to stay or leave the community then there wouldn't be such ripping apart of family bonds. It also seems like all those 'banishment' of people to leave their family to go and 'repent' for their sins that this also breaks up families. Seems to maintain the strength of family bonds through unconditional love and acceptance would be better than estrangements.
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy your oldest brother, Kevin, he used to work for my dad, and he left your family while he was still working for dad…also he is my neighbor, here in Missouri,and I am also your cousin..loved hearing your experiences..💙❤️💙❤️
Have always been fascinated by those intricate hair styles. Would so love to see a tutorial! Btw, you all are so lovely. Thank you for sharing all you do. 🤗
Lots of questions: 1. What does your sister do now? 2. Why did your father leave? 3. Why did your mother need help? 4. Didn’t WJ expect no one to be intimate .... even married people? If this is true we’re there no more babies? 5. How many siblings did each mother have? How many have left? What are they all doing? 6. What happened to the mothers and children left behind? If the father left .... who provided for them? 7. Were people punished for breaking rules? What type of punishment? 8. Do you miss anything from the community you left? 9. Do you cook the same meals and/or the same way as you did? Is there anything you do the same? 10. What did they say about the siblings who left before you?
I thought it was so funny for her say that she "bounced".... I never expected her to use urban slang with a Southwestern suburban accent. 😆 🤣 Super cute girl too, you can see the family resemblance.
I found your videos today and I just can't stop watching them. I find it very interesting how you used to live and that you left that behind. I'm sure it isn't easy to leave your family behind. Good to see you have some siblings that now share your lifestyle and you can be in each other's lives. Thanks for the great content!
I totally understand how your sister had a lot of the burden taking care of the family as a girl. Being number 12 of 14 I saw a lot of that on my older sisters even though we were not a strict family at all. We were raised lutheran but we were raised as normal as possible considering the circumstances. All of us went to a private lutheran school till 8th grade and then went to the public highschool. So I think we were well socialized. We were raised in NY on a big 83 acre farm. It would probably be interesting to see the comparison of being raised in FLDS vs being raised in another religion. I was a total tomboy and got to play with my brothers out in the woods. I think my upbringing was overall great. I feel bad for my kids now because they don't have a lot of siblings to play with like I did. I just have two kids and we don't plan on having anymore. They have over 20 cousins but they are living all over the country. We live in Las Vegas so they don't have the woods like I did growing up. There are Jewish families in NYC who also have large families. I think that would be a interesting video.
Listening to you talk about never learning to swim because you had to do it fully clothed brought back some interesting memories of me. We did swimming lessons through school as kids and, once you learned all the basic swimming techniques etc, the more advanced classes for older children included basic lifesaving skills and things. One of those classes involved turning up fully dressed in heavy clothing (jeans, woollen jumper, shoes, etc) and going in and swimming like that. Because it’s one thing to be able to swim properly with an unrestrictive, light swimsuit on, but it was also important to learn to cope if we accidentally fell into or had to jump into a body of water fully clothed. I can’t imagine trying to do that if I didn’t have the foundational skills first.
Oh Gee Wow! I really like Taffy (apologies the spelling). I wish her so much happiness and love and kindness and hope she gets to create a family of her own on her terms. Be courageous ❤️
Omg, please make more videos with her! Also any other former members, or family. It’s super interesting to learn about the different experiences. Whether because of gender or mothers, etc.
Amazing unique experience. It’s fascinating that you all thought it was totally normal. You must have had some inkling that it was a bit “not normal” or you wouldn’t have been so intrigued to leave. Thank you so much for sharing these stories.
It was nice to virtually meet u Teppy. Not sure if the spelling is correct but that’s how it came across the screen. Hopefully u will come back & talk with us some more about ur childhood & the way u were rait
@@cllovegood omg so im just finding this channel, binging it and of course seeing what others say in the comments and I look up and my maiden name was Katlyn Phillips 💜 so random 🤣🥰
Thank you so much for doing this video. - it was amazing, as usual, and I didn't want it to end. I also am wondering about your father and if he left the family voluntarily, or if he was placed somewhere else. I would love to see your sister dress and style Melissa's hair. That would be awesome to see. Love, love, love your videos.
As a mama, I am heartbroken to hear about families disowning other family members. In orthodox Christianity, we believe God’s church is a place to receive grace and also a vessel of healing and grace for the world. God bless you all for your honesty and transparency ✝️🤍🙏🏻.
The questions I feel that are unanswered.. what is your sister doing now? Boyfriend? Married? What does she love about her freedom, how does she spend her time? Did she or does she having any PTSD? Another video after life at the FLDS is favorites...food? Fast food? Sit down Restaurant? Coffee? Hobby? Store? Or a this or that kind of video. It’s interesting from going from no choices the world of choices and what they choose to enjoy.
Melissa you're the best! I've always been so intimated by Mormons and their higher opinions of themselves than regular Christians but you are not tis way! You ask all the right questions too at the exact right time too. Sometimes its a tough question too but people feel calm in your presence and Sam's and they really open up. This is all so interesting to me! It makes me thankful for my own normal upbringing but I also think there are so many neat experiences you all have in your lives and I love that you share with js! It's a bit of history and sociology and its heart warming and sometimes terrifying to learn what other people are doing. I think yall are wonderful.
What’s Normal? I’m sure without sounding demented that you all have to personally weigh in on this all the time. You’ve experienced so much and that could battle your own sanity. I’d probably have to pick and choose what I’d even want to think about much less who I could share what with. You’re really very bright and beautiful people and I hope the survivalist in each of you will always be kind and merciful to each of your own souls! It’s a big thank you for being brave and strong enough to help the outside understand but your bond with each other is a crucial factor it seems to your own adjustments! No one knows like you know, good bad or indifferent! So much love to you all Sincerely!
Don't hold back! I understand not wanting to slander anyone, but don't be afraid to share your experience. People need to know the truth about it, and realize it's not what God wants.
I love to watch this stories. His sister looks happy and healthy. I’m curious about what FLDS still wearing garments as Mormons (LDS). Keep up more stories. 👍🏻
You guys are great! My background is completely different but I enjoy your channel and you’ve answered so many of my questions that I didn’t even know I had! I find it so fascinating and eye opening. Keep making the videos! Thanks
Loved this video and enjoyed meeting your sister. You can definitely see the family resemblance between the two! Something I was wondering while watching: you have mentioned a couple times how about half(?) of your siblings have left the FLDS. Is it the norm for most FLDS families to have several of the children from one family end up leaving? Maybe it’s something that started happening more recently around the time you left? Just curious if it’s something the mothers and fathers worry about frequently or is it very shocking when one decides to leave
Teffy is beyond gorgeous and super strong! I would love to hear her share more of her story!! Making a hair/getting dressed tutorial in the outfit that she left home in could be totally retraumatizing. If that's the case then I DON'T want a tutorial video. But IF Teffy feels comfortable walking Melissa through a hair and/or getting dressed tutorial, I would absolutely watch it.
My question is home births. Was there any deaths of moms or babies? How was home births handled? Were they expected to nurse their babies or were they not allowed to nurse their babies? What about the monthly periods? And were you able to take daily baths or showers? I'm really glad you guys are doing these videos because it makes us more comfortable and compassionate towards those who were born and raised in these communities. 💖🔥
Thank you for sharing your lifestyle ; it was so interesting learning about your culture. And yes i would love to see a video on how to do the hairstyles. : )
I would like to know about the time “The Law” came in to investigate and took lots of women & children for questioning & investigations. 2008, so pretty long ago. Did either of you experience this? What was said about it? Did many people leave after? We’re myths & stories told about it afterwards? Making these videos is super brave, I admire all your strengths. Thank you!
just gotta say happened on your channel and i've just been doing a dive and I have like 8 hours of video I want to all watch at once, great channel, love the knowledge and empathy, you all have amazing stories and thanks for sharing
Thank you for sharing your story -- a few questions -- if nobody is getting married -- what are the young adults doing ? Are they leaving or living the single life ? Also in your home, since there were so many children and you mentioned ironing the clothes -- did the children have their own clothes or since so many similar in age , did everyone that clothing size just choose an item? For example, I know of another large family, they had one clothing closet with everything on a rolling rack based on size / gender. thanks!
Just saw this answered in the last video I watched, they each had their own section of the wardrobe and had their own clothes. Lots of hand-me-downs, but the women of the family just seemed to know whose clothes were whose ☺️
Thank you so much for sharing! Does your sister live close to you now? Is she married? Why would she keep her nephews and nieces at the compound if the sister stayed home? What did that sister do and did she have sister wives? I have so many questions. LOL I hope y’all have an awesome day and can’t wait for another video! ☺️
This is Awesome. I love seeing more and more people leave the Crick. I left when I was 14 (I'm 30 now)! We gave award hugs too haha. There's a documentary on my story and some of my family's story. Hilary Broadbent.
I really enjoyed Taffy being in this episode. I would love to hear more stories about the family. Also, I would love to see her do your hair. I did notice Sam referred to a brother as “his brother” why not “our brother”?
