When God asks you to build an ark 

He forgot the termites

Stop mocking GOD.

@@TedEhioghaedo you mean me or Zach?

Story was greatly exaggerated it was really just a couple of sheep, a couple of goats, and a few chickens.

that ad placement lmao. brilliant should pay you a lot. 🤣🤣

we really did learn something here today

Haven’t watched the video yet, consider me interested

literally second hand

The lord giveth, and the lord taketh away.

Lmfao

...and Brilliant

So quick? It took 120 years. How is that quick?

@@user-ck5rh4ky6u I was just quoting the video at 7:28

I don't get it

@@grantsch1861 It's in reference to another one of his videos called 'When you time travel to the past and find out you're completely useless'

The salinity wouldn't suit them, obviously.

I guess technically he would need the fresh water animals in this interpretation of the flood.

Water animals would literally get crushed lol

@@thehermitman822 Depends. Rainwater is freshwater. So if God floods the earth through a shit-ton of rain, then it's the saltwater animals Noah needs to be worried about.

That’s it earth, you’re grounded

Oh but they do. It's called the Indian Rhino (Rhinoceros Unicornis), the word is Re'em in Hebrew, which can also refer to oxen or aurox bulls. Although the aurox is extinct and one horned rhinos which are indigenous to India and the middle east are on the endangered species list.

@@doomguyayy It you look at the Latin Vulgate it even translates Re'em as Rhincerotis.

@@turnage_michael that's a rhino, not a unicorn

@@satgurs Unicorn literally means one horn. So, technically, anything with one horn is a unicorn unless some other description comes out Fun fact. If you take the cells of a goat's horn before it has a chance to integrate with its skull and you plant those cells onto the forehead of a horse it will fuse forming essentially a horse styled unicorn. This has actually been done before and patented. Similarly, if you take some of those cells and put it on your own head you could have stylish devil horns. And they would be permanent. As in, you could never remove them safely. If that may interfere with your ability to get a job as an adult, but if a child did this to themselves due to compulsory education laws there would be no way that any school could tell the child not to come in with horns on their heads.

@@turnage_michael But is it a literal horse with a fucking horn on its forehead. If the answer is no, then it's not a fucking unicorn.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought of that joke and made of this skit to have an excuse to say it

@@eomoran wouldn't doubt it

😂😂😂😂

funkiest

If a human was God, this would be it.

Agreed

more like gen z became god

As a Christian, absolutely

The CEO of math, can't get a better than that person to endorse your product

fr bt

right after teaching us the transitive property

I didn't expect it and I fucking cried lmfao

i saw this comment the exact time this was said😂

Somebody needs to explain that one to me.

"god dammit" *two hours later* "Ok I'm done"

Just remembered PKD himself expressed that even god is in ads. Crazy but true.

That almost made me want to try it out. But then I remembered, no. Awesome try though, I'm sure he got 5's of people to sub.

Ruins the sketch

Considering all the women would be related to him, very strange

@Isdrakon Adam and eve had 3 sons 🤣 the Bible has more !ncest than p0rnhub 😅

Job's family: God why have you forsaken us. God: Satan was talking mad nasty and I couldn't let it slide.

@@driftingwolf0 Devil: I guess he’s not all benevolent.

​@@driftingwolf0 more like he's proving satan wrong

Well you're not wrong satan was still an angel he just wasnt in heaven during that time.

@@johndoesstuff352 which wouldnt have been a problem, except.. i know at the end he got everything back in spades, but unless there was some soul transfer shit going on, his original children are all still dead

I know

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 perfection

😂😂👍

Imagine if they were both male

@Jalopezlag are you sure about insects? Cause iirc the bible had something about breath or something that they used to excuse them

Ye and does he get the ones that are like thousands of fleet below the the sea level or only the ones that we know and how did they survive like Ik most of them would b snacking on a whale or something and chimpanzee and wasps are just ducks for no reason most of the time

Image having every species of Wasp and Spider on that arc

@@joseignaciomontes5712 Then how did they survive?

Why sea creatures tho? It's just a flood, they can swim, up to them

Top 10 character's arcs of all time

Stampy cat be like

“Builded all over the ark” is temporarily my favorite sentence I’ve ever heard

lmao

yeah that shit was flawless

I even moved my mouse to make sure RU-vid knew I was there, then proceeded to slow-clap. I think that's the best segue I've ever seen.

You're gonna love the Old testament.

Wait for what would happen in this present time.

@@gabor6259 If you think Gods Wild, wait until you read about Zeus and Poseidon!

The angles were f***ing the people trying to prevent Jesus Christ from being born, so their offspring had to go🌊☠️🛶

@@gabor6259 and we found someone who... Doesn't understand the old testament

Take my like

Even though I’m a Christian, that’s hilarious

@hipnoamadeus What if I Pangea was a thing back then?

I mean we know 100% that flood didn't ever happen.

@@greenlitlleman How?

@@ZTheZtickman26 Science and history? Lol.

Fresh water vs sea water

Changes in water pressure can also kill them

Water animals are sensitive to changes in pH or temperature. This is even at the same depth / pressure or in the same salt / sweet water environment.

Perhaps, before the flood, there were not fresh water fish?

and why doesn't god just help him do it. according to what I know I think god sent like angels or something to help build the ark.

So, you carry it with you everywhere you go? Or how exactly does it achieve that lady attraction?

@@lonestarr1490 you wear it as a hat

@@lonestarr1490 you surgically insert it in your hands so you can telekinetically control a floating globe wherever you go

They are endorsed by God himself so I'd say they are a pretty good investment

Only someone who owns such a globe would ever think such a globe attracts ladies lol

How do you know he didn’t?

All for that sweet december revenue

He missed a lot. And it's common to understand that all of those creatures came in by themselves. Even though God commands to Noah to "take" them animals with him, the final result is expressed "there went in two and two of every pair". Same verb as for Noah, "Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife..." etc. There's room for interpretation but in jewish and Christian cultures it's common understanding that God provided his will himself, so Noah didn't have to do the impossible.0

Yes, but like fr this is so funny even if he missed some details

@@user-ck5rh4ky6u build a boat big enough to hold all that stuff sounds pretty impossible to me

@@jackadams3878it took 120 years apparently

@@snailcheeseyt well i mean, we're talking about a massive ship being built by 8 people, max

Animals breathe underwater not from the O in H2O (gills don't perform electrolysis) but because oxygen is dissolved into the water and filtered out by gills. Sudden massive increase in the volume of water without equivalent increase in the amount of dissolved oxygen would dispurse what already exists - kinda like sucking the oxygen out of a room and replacing it with nitrogen. Obviously, that would be pretty fatal. That said, Noah probably wouldn't know that so your point stands.

Actually I just looked it up. The American buffalo is a type of Bison. Same family: Bovidae.

That's not how the story goes, but your comment is actually funny! I laughed at this one!

It was truly one of the arks of all time

If I’m not mistaken, I’m pretty sure in the original story God gathers all the animals for Noah and leads them into the ark

@@zsan157 still nonsense

@@ihateads never said it wasn’t

@@ihateads How would it be nonsense. If God exists and made the universe, God surely would be capable of gathering more 20 million animals.

@@tyrannosauruszeppelin2205 are you fr?

God killing jesus for humanity's sins and Jesus loses his shit over it!

How Adam and Eve actually populated the whole Earth. I actually used to ask this at Sunday School, and never got a satisfactory answer. Over to you Zach…..

Joseph being told to marry Mary, mother of Jesus even though God got her pregnant already.

@@aurorajones908 I mean I don’t know about you, but that screams gunshot wedding to me!

Or that time God blessed Samson to be swole and he murdered 100 Philippines with a donkeys jaw bone

I got my socket wrench 🔧

I loved that god made a whole new species just to kill all but 2, lol.

You know you can have Cousins on the other side of your family right?

​@@ConstantOwlkWell yeah but my point was more concisely spoken by just talking about that.

A view from every animal on Earth*