When Men Go Silent? 

You’re very welcome. My pleasure

So you never go back or break the silence ?

Are you a Dismissive Avoidant?

@@Mileys_choicenaw…real men dont deal with BS

@hoodahellau6734 I see the opposite. So much in life is BS. Gotta put your big boy pants on and face it. Together.

Same, when I see no more point - I'm silent

It’s definitely a sign of strength for a man to address the emotional side of things when it’s not his norm. But it’s necessary and not a form of weakness as it is perceived.

AMEN🤗

@@KingPrime Everyone has different circumstances and mind set, it’s not a solution when “one size fits all”! There’s lot’s of manipulators and narcissist who use silence as punishment and a way of controlling. Even if a men is just a bad communicator if he truly cares not to loose person, he will try a bit harder to speak out , instead of going completely silent. Some times silence is used to simply move away from honest explanation and that’s week cowardice.

@@THEAG28011966 That's it

Nah, if we’ve tried and she repeats the same pattern… then we’re on to the next, especially when we have a lot of options

After she apologied, how long until u text her back? Do u move on?

I think it's healthy to be silent when angry! I'd rather a man be silent than say mean things!

Yeah he just may need space. But sometimes it’s OK to ask what the issue is.

@@KingPrime when I asked what the “issue” was... I was ignored. I took that as my cue to bow out

@@triciam4798 Yeah… Sometimes you can’t pull it out of the other person, they have to be willing to meet you in the middle

@@triciam4798 me to then left us because of our different schedules so he says we were providing for a family

@@triciam4798 girl at least u tried , God bless u

That’s a great strategy!! Very mature of you. Love the self awareness

Very attractive trait and mature indeed, you could call it mindful. Women are often more impatient, they need to express it now to lift the emotional burden. I'm a woman and I do try to compose and wait but at times I tend to express my thoughts. I analyse too but I say it out loud. I need a man to take lead, it makes me feel calm and relaxed. In this context I love this video because I may be fin. independent but mentally I very much embrace the primary ' traditional' roles dimension. I think it's about balance from both sides and how great would it be that men and women can both selfreflect and learn from eachother's strengths and weaknesses.

It's not always a good approach. A lot of women shut down and will close off and will not be able to open up emotionally to their men after repeated silent treatment. That will ruin the relationship. If she is mature , she would want a mature real conversation.

Yes.. the real maturity comes with being vulnerable enough to communicate those feelings.

@@KingPrime I Agree! So 2days ago, I call to say hello n catch up n we speak alittle n he goes like "Babe Imma get back to u after finalizing with wat I'm doing now " But b4 this call is an earlier unresponded to Txt, of me asking about his plans of that day after work! Didn't get any call or txt from him until next day wen he responded, "Oh Babe sorry I went to the gym". I hated reading this msg n didn't feel like even leaving any other response other than "good morning to you." He: "You sound mad" Me: "Really, not at all" (hell yeah I am!🙄) Since that txt, he is active online etc but my txt is not seen hence not heard from him since that day! And its paramount to note that this is like the 4th-5th time this kind of silent treatment has been going on... the last I asked y he said he'd rather keep quite than say smthn wrong wch I purely wud understand but again this is way too repetitive for a rlsthp as juvenile as 4months in! I've not said a word either eversince n I'm seriously considering opting out for good! Any advice/insights will be much appreciated🙏

It's okay if he's silent because he needs some time to cool down, but being silent hoping that the other will swallow their pride and apologize to break the ice, instant red flag.

Good point

You should keep silent too untill he will be active with you .if he lives and cares he will come back .....pressure is not good too......im at the same boat now even though i didnt do something horrible .....just waiting....

Yeah, that’ll shut a person down and not want to speak again

This is a truth !!!

I’m sorry to hear about the silence in your relationship. I’d recommend gently confronting it if you haven’t. And if that doesn’t work, intensifying it may help... or seek professional help.

Not quite… oh it’s in motion sometimes😂😂😂, but not always. Some men are deep thinkers. Some, not all. Thank you for your comment Nicole!!

Me too. I always think its the end of relationship especially with a person who cant communicate. Am just down like....

If we dont live together, i would think he's entertaining others.

@@sophiaali2013 You think right. If a men can not communicate, women shouldn’t be with him!

@@sophiaali2013 I need advice. A guy likes me we text alot have met up we worked together. He opened up about his personal life which I was really surprised he open up to me. We text each other but recently he has been very quite. Not replied to my message on Watts app but I don't want to text too much. I don't know what to do?

That’s a lot!!! Nothing like getting a revelation!! But I got one question…. “Won’t HE do it?” 😁🕺🏽😂

Agreed .. and I do think there should be s time limit to the silence. At a minimum, the couple should at least come to an agreement with that.

well said bro you are very very wise!!!

Thank you 🙏🏽

I can identify with finally having a moment of peace and having it interrupted. Maybe try going into a designated place and letting other know this is my “me time”. I think they’ll understand.

@@KingPrime they'll still peek in and (annoyingly) ask, "what are you thinking about?"

When a woman gives me drama and I don't want it anymore I will leave her alone because arguing with her is pointless that's where I go into silence because if I try to argue am always the bad guy so I would just sleep in the sofa and leave her alone I hate toxic ferminism will all my heart

Go strong you powerful single woman

@@JonathanDillonfds-fx lol

Beer drinkin' , deer shootin' ,crazy son of a gun ol man

Lucky.....

I just read an article about how many suffer in silence and thought it would be a perfect part two to this video. Especially adding in some of the things that you’ve mentioned. Sometimes people stir up mess, bring along the drama just to get a rise out of you. And I applaud you for doing what it takes to keep your peace of mind. Your peace of mind is priceless and I wish more would adopt that concept.

😂😂

You be fine, you may find things which you never sought if you go there, and it may be for many in the days ahead.

I agree same situation..

It’s challenging to pull something out of someone. It should be organically communicated. Very wise of you.

Raine B. Thank You

U ok now

Hush....I have a similar situation going on and done even know if I should try and fix it.....just wait it out

Definitely agree!!! swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath

My husband of 25 yr misused me chocked me and cheated on me. I feel like garbage to him i remember building from the floor up and thought he was my best friend but when he started cheating here come the abuse.

My apologies for the delay. For some reason your comment went to spam. As I read through your message, there are many questions that I have. But I will respond based on the knowledge that I know. Long-distance is tough, but not impossible. In order for this to work two people have to be committed. It looks like both of you were scared and hesitant and making a decision. Though you sound like you wanted this, it appears that you were not only hesitant, but also silent about your desires. I think if you would’ve laid your feelings out there, perhaps things would be different. And I think this goes for him as well. Relationships require action. And I believe you were waiting on this from him and he likely pulled away because you didn’t show interest. You kept it inside and only you knew what was going on in your head. If you really like him, I say go for it. And if that ship has sailed, search for someone a little more local. That will probably see you some frustration as you move forward in a new relationship.

In your case, it sounds like you can't even get anything started and he disappears. Why waste your time on a man that can't be present...then pops up one year later. If a person is doing this in the beginning, what will he do if you really have a problem. Don't let another year go by w this seemingly emotionally disabled person...move on.

I would like to know if you got help and how it ended,,,I am in the same situation now

WE don't want to say the real thing cause MOST women will react emotionally instead of constructively. You being accusatory proves this point. I'm just saying!

@@sethjones9480 Try again. You'd be surprised. She pointed out that most of the times there's agenda behind the silent treatment and you taking this as an accusation shows your inability to process what's being said.

This isn’t always true. We don’t want to say the wrong thing because we don’t want to say something we’ll regret and cause any more damage to the relationship. If we really didn’t care about our loved ones we wouldn’t go silent and make efforts to compose ourselves. Just because we want to say something doesn’t always mean we should.

It takes a little work my man. As long as you’re continuing to get better at it one situation at a time, you’re winning. Funny… I was just talking with my dad over the weekend and he told me that it’s easier to say about 17 to 18 words rather than three simple words such as I love you. 😂.

@@KingPrime For man it most certainly is. But I think when we do get emotional it has more impact because we do it so rarely which means it is very honest maybe. 😄 Thanks for the reply.

Vigan Krasnici definitely!!! When we finally say something it’s impactful.

That’s the difference in a strong confident and and a man that has issues expressing their emotions. I don’t get it either… free the person so they can enjoy life with someone else or maybe just by themselves for a little while. It’s highly likely that someone has his attention and it ran its course and he was too ashamed to mention it. Silence sometimes saves face. I’ve been on both sides of it as a less mature adult. Be encouraged and know that someone out there is sooooo deserving of your all and is equally able to give you the same. YOUR BEST IS YET TO COME 🤩🙏🏾

@@KingPrime that is so correct! He came back and told me exactly that! That someone has his attention and he just went along with it

@@z.k.5259 well the only thing I did for him was be there with him and gif him at all the time and he was the greatest person I ever met. He actually came back snd confessed to me why he started pooling away and it had nothing to do with me. He just fall into some one that gave him what to me doing with a man without being married is completely wrong. So he found it in another woman that did not care about giving herself. I just discover He is an avoidant person and that is a big problem having that kind of attachment

@kaelank484 awww 🥰my dear friend you made me tear up with the experience you just shared and thank you for sharing your pain. I truly understand you. I was in so much emotional pain that I couldn’t function. Crying at all the time and looking for an answer trying to understand what went wrong. and like you said I’m really thankful that this guy came up to me finally and talked to me and explain to me what happened. Still his explanation was very painful but at the same time was a relief to know what happened; after that he wanted to be friend with me and I felt maybe is better that way then not having anything at all. So we being hanging out around two years now just as friends cause he is not into getting in a relationship but at least we talk and meet once or two times at month. we really enjoy each other company.; but I have to tell you that every time I don’t see his message at certain time he use to text me I start to feel so anxious and nervous that is insane but something that had help me is learning about types of attachments. there are a lot videos in RU-vid about attachment styles and I learned I have Anxious attachment which I didn’t know about it and by the way is very common. Also learning about other people attachment made me understand better their behavior. And believe me , I know exactly how you feel and like you said people do not understand how it feels at all they have no clue what is this emotional pain is about. One thing I can tell you is to look for professional help that specialize in Attachment style because no everybody knows about this kind of attachment. BecomeSecure Now had help me a lot how to control the anxiety. her videos are in RU-vid and her name is Marianna Turov. I had sections with her and she is great. Big hug to you my dear and I’ll pray for you. May the Lord bless you and give you the strength you need to surpass all this in the name of Jesus🙏🙏🙏

Thanks for joining the journey and subscribing. I appreciate your warm comments. Being in the space of independence and doing your thing solo for a while changes the game right ?..😁 You definitely get used to doing things when you want, how you want and without the opinion of anyone else. Then getting into a relationship becomes an adjustment and is sometimes hard to allow others in your space to help and their opinions aren’t always welcomed 😂. But I’m glad that you “got over the hump”... lol. Be Well!!!

Saoul!!! Blessings to you! I appreciate your support 🙏🏾

Wow… how often do you not normally talk and how old is the relationship?

Why would a guy waste his time on females who are friends? Not me....I don't want Female Friends. A waste of our time

Hi Taura!! You’re welcome and I’m glad it could help. 😌

All good and relevant reasons... someone’s it comes down to choosing poorly. Which is why we should take our time with how we progress in relationship because (too your point) many people (men and women) aren’t willing to work for it, are lazy or too damage from previous relationships; thus making them emotionally unavailable.

TRUE😦

You’re very welcome!! Thank you!!

Bruce… This is beautifully and masterfully written. Men definitely want to be useful, it’s a big part of the male DNA. And we’re not mind readers, so it does help quite a bit when we are given specifics. 😁

So sweet

How much time do u need until to text her back?

@@jhica5718 my philosophy is don’t play games. Just Return messages when you have an answer for her. Things will be as they will be.

@@aspiringmen4374 No, im asking you. I'm a lady and is thinking he's seeing other girls for this a week and a half silent treatment........I sure aint gonna feel the same if he decided to reach out. It upped my insecurities.

😂😅

Charsa Frazier oh gosh!! Sorry to hear that. Sounds like you cut him deep 😳. It tough to know what those trigger words or trigger points are with people. Particularly when we are hurt and offended too. It’s a very fine line. Not sure how long the two of you have been dating, but most time you know deep down if the person is worth the time and effort to make it right (no matter what). If you’ve done all that you think is possible, he’s probably not interest anymore.

@@KingPrime Same thing happened to me, but this time I broke up with him, but he still didn't say anything. What's the reason? And did I do the right thing breaking up?

A week? Please give up.

Take care of you in the meantime

You’re welcome!! Men carry a lot of pressure and many times have a hard time expressing themselves

@@KingPrime very true. But communication is key. They need to learn it. Saves a lot of heartache further down the line

ShadaePrincess ..for sure!!! And men have to become comfortable enough to speak without reservations while the atmosphere for that must be set within the relationship.

@@KingPrime true.

Only if you need to.... if you need to be vocal, do that as well. Sometimes being vocal is necessary.

@@KingPrime thanks brotha

@Tara Lynn Not necessarily. Everyone deals with stress and men deal with stress differently. It’s just a different type and level of pressure..Not to make an excuse. To your point, it could definitely be a red flag depending on the norm and dynamics of the relationship. For example something that you two would normally talk about and all of a sudden one person goes quiet about that topic. Sometimes he may be processing what is being said. If this silence has gone on for and extended time we’re happens more frequently than it should, I do think that is emotionally unhealthy. Cutting them off maybe necessary but I would be sure to have the conversation of what your expectations are and what your standards are in a relationship. That way if you decide to move on, the expectations were stated and known up front… Well… Prior to moving on. The two people in the relationship know how much they mean to each other and can often decide whether it’s worth working through or not. I sometimes think we leave challenging areas in relationships because leaving is the easy way out. Sometimes it’s worth it… Sometimes it’s not

@@KingPrime Thank you for taking the time to respond. I truly appreciate it! 🙌🏽 I am trying to exercise patience and understanding with this individual. However, I am struggling remain this way. LOL! I am forever growing and evolving! If this individual is an upper 40 year old would you say that they will probably never change? If so, ✌🏽. Some people are willing to grow while others rather remain the same. Perhaps it’s a lost cause. Thank you for your advice!

@@socialmediawisdom22 You’re welcome. If he’s in his upper 40’s, chances are he’s been shaped already. It also depends on how long he’s been this way. If it’s been just a little while it’s probably repairable. Otherwise, it’s likely not gonna happen. I see exactly where you’re coming from with evolving. Its a big problem when one person has a growth mindset and outlook while the other person has a fixed mindset. 😔

@@KingPrime Thank you again! New subscriber here! I have some thinking to do. Have a wonderful evening!

@@socialmediawisdom22 I’m grateful to have you as a subscriber and I’m confident that your decision will be well calculate it. Please bear with me as my content is not “focused” right now. But my goal is to push out a few more videos that I have already recorded. Then everything following those will be focused on relationships and issues surrounding men and women on individual basis. And also taking topics from the audience. Do you have a pleasant evening! 😊🙏🏽

dbedazzling1 that’ll do it too 😌

nope

WOW😐

Sounds you are greatly under appreciated!! Someone out there is praying for some just like you …JUST AS YOU ARE!!! Sometimes we try and mold ourselves to become what someone wants us to be. Our authenticity is our power. Be you and if you need to move on until you find your person that can and will appreciate you. And as for not acting black enough 🤦🏽‍♂️… what is that?!!! That alone shows their lack of culture. Regardless of race, we don’t all fit one stereotype. That’s a small minded comment.

@@KingPrime well unfortunately it happens a lot in our culture. I am good with my hands, I can build things, I'm a hydroponics farmer, I can do an engine swap by hand. But they see only that I can pay for their bills while at the same time being told I need to "act more black" no matter what I do is never good enough.

@@vash254 i need help regarding relationship please help

Hi Didi!! Thanks for dropping in here. I definitely understand both sides. You must speak up and let your intentions be known. That’s a nice quality to have. The flip is when you come on too strong and it intensifies, a man can feel smothered. I mean we love the lady in our lives, but we need a little space too 😂.. if it helps, maybe talk about it before squeezing his oxygen out early in the process. 🤣🤣.. seriously.. communicate it.

@@KingPrime haha okay noted thank you.

Gurl, 2 weeks is a long time for space...did he texted u back yet?

How much alone time do u need?

Thank you so much!! Glad it could help 🤩

Nothing like being left hanging. ☹️😩 The best thing you can do is be direct with it. I think your heart of care and concern is very genuine; and at the same time you’re not signing up to be an immediate caregiver to these issues. I’d send him a message, actually ....give him - call ☎️ and if he doesn’t answer, leave a message and give him his space. With zero expectations you’ll be in a better mental space. If he responds, that’s great and you can take it from there by letting him know what’s tolerable and what’s not. Stand by your expectations.

My situation right now, so frustrating 😑

Did you ride him

It sounds like you two never met. If that is the case then stop investing in him emotionally. A man who is interested in a woman won't let anxiety stop him. In the beginning when I first started dating my man he told me he has anxiety. I told him I did as well. It just bonded us even more. We never have anxiety with each other tho. We feel at peace when we are together. Look for a man who doesn't let his fears get in the way of his love for you.

Thank you so much!! I appreciate you!

Thank you so much, I appreciate that

Definitely 👌

I don’t think you’re wrong for this. I’d inform him and be done… considering you’ve already tried many times

First thing that comes to mind is be slow to speak, quick to hear and slow to wrath. That said, I’m wondering exactly what you said and what tone did you use to deliver your words. Words can be painful ...even to the strongest men. However, recovery can happen based on how you apologize. You may have to go “over the top” to make up for it. Not saying kiss his arse 🤣🤣🤣🤣... but put a good effort in to apologize from the heart and do it in a way that speaks HIS love language. I’m hopeful for your conversation and relationship 😊🙏🏽

@@KingPrime I discovered he was cheating on me I confronted him he went silent. I apologized beg and still he will tell me I will call u later and never does. I took my self esteem into my hands, my self worth and I went silent too I can't kill myself no

Listen ... you CAN NOT say the WRONG thing to the RIGHT person !! Fact ..move on

@@lifeslessons9889 exactly

My pleasure

Mai, I’m so sorry to hear about the lack of expression within your relationship. It seems that you have tried many things in order to have a better outcome. I am also proud of you for the effort as many people would simply give up and move on. Or… They would try and give the silent treatment back to the other person, which doesn’t work either. If you have the ability to seek professional help, I would seek counseling with your partner. Be sure to express yourself to him of everything that is on your mind and how it makes you feel. If it’s worth it and if you’re worth it to him, he will be willing to work to become better within your relationship. If he doesn’t want to do it, I believe that that is your permission to move on to a more rewarding relationship.

That's the problem .your thinking about what you want and what you feel you deserve..

Are you saying your are not sure if you want to break it? Long distance is tough, but it can be done. You both have to be very honest, have frequent connectivity and plans to bring things together at some point. Some point meaning a defined moment in time. Six months, one year etc... and start navigating that way. But have the conversation to make sure that you both are on the same page. And if not, move on. You’ve gotta have boundaries and standards.

I hear ya!! And it’s a good thing you’re in the drivers seat. It’d suck if you’re the one that has to pack up and move

@@KingPrime If we're serious she'll get a key. But she'll NEVER live with me.

@@Kv-pk2st for sure !!!

What if she apologied.......would u text her back later on?

You're welcome

You’re very welcome

Oh wow.. sorry to hear that. Seems like he wasn't in it for the right reason.

Clothilda N Shalang Looks like you’re self-aware and you have excepted that it WAS a phase. We all experience lack of self awareness here and there. Sounds like you’re on the right track now and perhaps you’re scaling back a bit and allowing him to be a part of your life as you both desire. Glad to hear that you’re past it 😉

A man who borrows money from a woman isn't a man. I'm sorry, but it's true. A real man would take out a loan from another man or get a second job before asking a woman for a penny. It disturbs me knowing there are guys that do this. He definitely used you. I hope you learned a valuable lesson.

@@lke4907 thank you! I did! He just gave it make but definitely is immature and not my person you are right but I learned a lesson!

That sounds like deep hurt on both sides. Sometimes things run their course and we must be at peace with that. On the other hand, if this person means that much to you or if you mean that much to each other, you will find a way to resolve this and things will come back together. It’s not easy but if the love is strong enough and desires are mutual it will happen

@@KingPrime unfortunately it got worst. I found out the girl I found out about was staying with him a month after we stop talking. I am single n manifesting true loyal love. He's older and not acting right. Him n that girl also split n she's heartbroken. He n I was together 3.5 years. I expected marriage but he had to many options. As hurt as I am. I will manifest what I want rather than a person. I never expected any of this ending but such is life.

dbedazzling1 as unfortunate as that is, you now have the truth of the situation and your personal truth. Love that you’re manifesting things for self happiness and knowing the rest will follow 😉

@@KingPrime THANK You. You're amazing💖

Haha 😂... I defiantly get it!!! You should leave a note for her ... maybe on her pillow or on the bathroom mirror with a quote. “I never learned anything while I was talking”. I would drop the “Honey I need to talk with you“ on her. This way she will know that it is something serious and when you FINALLY get her, let her know how that you need things to be mutual with respect to listening and it would mean a lot to you if she could try harder to listen to you as an equal in the relationship

So true!!! And this is why trust and good communication is essential for a great relationship. When he feels safe, he will definitely open up with his inner feelings and emotions

The problem is when you're in a marriage and he go silent with you but go talk to his mistress about you. Smh

@@RosasResources Not every man that goes silent has a mistress and in my opinion that is a blanked statement .

@Rosa's Resources ..every person needs a soft place to land and a no judgement zone to freely speak their mind and express their feelings. Are you providing this? Have you asked him “what is it that he needs to comfortably communicate with you?”

@inga robinson Facts!! 🤩

Am going through this stage my self . Best thing to do is to rely on your self and don't chase him at all. Focus on your self. Workout , have goals and revamp yourself , new hair do, new clothes etc . Just self ❤ we been married 13 years and I have decided that he needs to put the work as I am exhausted doing the talking .Best of luck x

@@nasrasahardiid1757 so true. I am just going to pray and keep it moving. I do want to support and I will do that from afar. Thank you