Why Are Women Struggling With Mental Health? 

Hello you legends. Watch the full episode with Louise here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-HAmQ7Tcrh6A.html. Get a 35% discount on all Cozy Earth products at www.cozyearth.com/modernwisdom

I've been saying this for YEARS and so many women have disagreed with me. "Hurr durr I don't do it for men I do it for myself." No. No you don't. You do it for other women.

Because they have been lied to since the 1960’s about what is important.

"It's intersexual competition." Thank you. Feminists love to pin the blame on men for these increasing standards, but it's women fighting amongst themselves. Women also engage in mate guarding, they just do it in different ways.

She nailed it when she said men are actually easy to please. I wish more women able to see that she could be attractive to 90% of men if she just focused on her loving herself and staying in shape. It's free! and benefits you regardless of who you date. Don’t spend money on fake shit or dwell on things you can't change ladies - it's draining to date people who need constant validation

I'll never forget going dressed up to a Halloween party as cat woman. I got so much attention that night and one of my 'friends' turned to me and said 'you know you would look amazing if you shaved your hair off'. I always wondered why she would say something like that but now I know....

As a man, it is so attractive to find a woman who isn’t caught up in all of this. Taking care of yourself is one thing, but chasing some manufactured beauty standard is highly undesirable as a partner. It’s way more attractive to see a woman with real hobbies than spending all that time on vanity

There are two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it.

This whole conversation makes me so grateful to be a woman in my fifties living in a region where oddly little concern is given to appearance (inland northwest, U.S.). We work our behinds off, like men, because our climate and our industry (mostly agriculture and transportation) demand it. Most of us can't fathom wasting money on something as frivolous as a manicure. I haven't put a chemical on my head since I turned fifty, and I forfeited my "beauty routine" when I left California. I maintain my health through diet and hard work, and I'm always clean, but I couldn't care less about any of this crap anymore. Perhaps it's because I've already established my reproductive fitness (three sons, two grandsons) and can maintain myself financially that this whole thing seems so absurd. (Note: I do have hair nearly to my waist, but that's just because it's easier to maintain and keeps me warm).

I don't think my wife thinks about any of this stuff. She's also by far the most mentally stable woman I've ever been involved with

I couldn't help but be reminded of this verse, which may be offensive to some, but suggests that the pursuit of physical beauty is a costly dead end. "“Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.”

I am a woman who doesn't use make up, don't dye my hair, never had my nails done (I do rock climb), have 1 hand bag that I got from my mum... and yet I have a wonderful man, I have friends and I like my work and I am genuinely happy ❤

Everyone is struggling with mental health. Our current state on consciousness is based on fear.

This is why I've been so frustrated talking to most women when they bring up female beauty standards as some kind of patriarchal, male-led conspiracy. Beauty standards are, quite literally, the long-term result of the dissolution of women-on-women beauty policing. Women have ALWAYS known that they were in a sexual/beauty arms race with other women. Only now that slut shaming has been decried on a societal level that you see this kind of thing growing exponentially. It's never been about pleasing men or meeting the expectations of men. It is and always has been about competing and showing off to other women.

I remember my grandpa gave me a box of Rogaine in my 20s because I was starting to lose my hair. I threw it away, grew out my beard and started shaving my head. I will age, I will get old, and I will not waste money fighting Father Time.

It’s not a mental health issues but rather a “I am suppose to want it all, do it all, and look amazing while doing it all” is not sustainable and it will break

An interesting point she made, "It isn't that we haven't made any advancements it's that they were made in the beauty sector." To broaden that statement, it isn't because we can't improve anymore it's because our priorities shifted to more menial and mundane things. We have made many things they just aren't things that matter in the grand scheme of things.

I'd like to say not getting my nails/hair/lashes/botox done or buying designer clothes is me taking a stand against the impossibly high beauty standards we are held to. ✊🏼 ...in reality I'm just skint and cant be bothered with the level of upkeep 😂

The title of the video is misleading...

Cognitive dissonance is the most common reason for mental health issues, IMO. It is when you constantly live your life in a way that you KNOW is not right, and are constantly disappointed that you aren't happier doing all the wrong things. This also reflects an inability to process that there are consequences to your actions, that you OWN.

Women dress for other women much more than they dress for men. And yes, women compliment other women, but what do they say behind their backs?

I'm getting old because I can remember: Plastic Surgery was something only aging celebrities and socialites did. It was associated with 'getting old'. A comical sitcom moment could be a middle-aged woman worried about getting old saying "ya when I'm 60 I'm going to get a facelift!" and the audience might laugh since 'facelift' did mean you were 60. It was entirely associated with women. You assumed women did that as you might today saying 'manicures'. If a Hollywood man had plastic surgery it would be considered so weird and fruity. So he's a gay now? - -- When i found college girls were getting plastic surgery I'd always assume they must have had something wrong like a birth defect or maybe a car accident. It just baffled me that they were just doing it to look prettier or more desirable. I still cant get past that. -------- Its true we forget stuff as the bar rises (or lowers) but 10 minutes ago it was NORMAL for people to have crooked teeth, odd colored teeth and even missing teeth. I mean normal healthy people of no special problem. I was abnormal that i just had very straight aligned even teeth from sheer natural genetic chance and then it became normal all high school students had straight even teeth. It was very normal to see a kid or adult with buckteeth' or 'gap teeth'. Really, if someone had bright white teeth that was weird.

It is so weird for me, to look at my mum, and how she is in her pension years, have so many activities, hobbies, and stuff she want to do, and aging gracefully. While I see women only 10 years younger than her, still going out to bars, trying to pretend they are still "fit" and "on the market", have no hobbies or worthwhile things to do, and just seem fixated on their non existant "youth"!? It really is sad and tragic, and I truly pity the women that have bought into the lie from both femenism, pop culture and advertisment. And now are moving towards their 60's and still try to pretend they are somehow 25 year olds, while having no practical skills, no hobbies, and no meaning in their life..... And yet, for reasons I dont quite understand, they keep "selling" the same lie they were told, to younger women....

The fear of getting old is real for women. That is why it effects their mental health

I can assure you this is not exclusively a female issue...i think its worse for women but the pressure on men is getting worse ....the body aesthetic is crazy for men now.

Dude here. I hate: hair coloring, makeup, colonics, implants, scarification, tattoos, piercings, lip fillers. Especially lip fillers. I've seen many of them, and they NEVER EVER make you look better. 100% of the time, they make you look worse. Stand up for yourself and reject these things. Be your own person. Don't give in to societal pressure. Plastic surgery is a lie you wear on your face.

Beauty standards may be part of it, but anecdotally, the women close to me think they can have a career and be a homemaker and volunteer at the school and go to the gym etc... My personal belief is that women take on too much because they believe they can. Then when they feel that life is hectic or they fail they blame themselves rather than the crazy obligations that they've decided to make. I feel like i am constantly telling my female loved ones to do less.

I love this!! It spoke to my spirit!! Let's get it done!!!

It was not that long ago that women were told that we were so much more than our appearance and sex appeal, by other women, most of all. It was understood that striving for personal growth, having interests, being well-read would save you from the pressure of constantly trying to be pretty, and reducing yourself to your body alone. I'm not sure what happened in the last 15 years. If all you had to offer the world was your physical beauty, it was an insult.

By far the best fashion statement is to be in shape.

As a heterosexual male when I see a woman who clearly spends a lot of time on her appearance (make up, nails, expensive clothes, hair, etc) I am initially looking at her presentation and I am impressed, but there is no replacement for looking young and healthy naturally. To me there is something unattractive at fake signals, so either you fake it amazingly well and fool everyone or it becomes less nice. Unlike all the ads out there, there are few things that do make you look naturally beautiful. It is sometimes pleasant to see someone who does not overly spend time on their appearance and looks like a natural human, but then I am initially not as interested, because there is this other woman who does look impressive (and fake) It is a losing game overall, standard for womens looks have gone up. For long term men would rather have a true human, spending time on having the best life instead of this fake presentation (vanity), but due to the over sexualization (imagery of attractive women everywhere you look) of society we are stuck here.

The fake lips have to stop. Who likes that ish? It’s like a bill board for insecurity. 😂 Like a man with a bad fake hair piece to “hide his baldness” but it only makes his insecurity MORE visible. Back when I was in my mid 20s and noticed my hair was starting to thin in the back I just shaved it all off and never looked back. Turns out I looked way better shorthaired and bearded anyway.

Funny thing is the girls compete among each other and the boys really don’t care much. I think only very few men really like artificial nails, for example .

Always LOVE when you have this guest on. Such a cool woman.

Spot on. Look at the "clean girl" trend that involves SO MUCH maintenance and work just to be called 'clean'.

Yet the best investment these women can do in being attractive to men is being slender and fit. Yet that's harder to do. A note to the ladies, you being even a little overweight is the worst thing you can do in undermining your attractiveness to men.

I’m a 40 yr old woman who lives in California but I only color my hair.. don’t even get my nails done anymore.. never had botox, no filers, no fake eye lashes.. & only wear minimal makeup. Granted I’ve been married for 20 yrs so not like I’m trying to attract a man .. but seriously I don’t understand the amount of time & money women waist on something that’s not achievable. You’re going to age .. the question is do you want to do it gracefully or end up looking like Madonna 😳 Also competing w/other women by buying expensive crap is the dumbest thing ever. Just workout & dress in a way that compliments your body. Be kind, generous, interesting & funny. The rest literally doesn’t matter. It’s a waste.

beautiful exchange, very insightful, thank you

Obsession with beauty is no longer a concern only to look good for your potential romantic partner and such. Its alsl about marketing yourself as a 'valuable person' in this competitive society that values beauty, and sure beauty lies on the eyes or beholder but conventional beauty standard exists and they do grant you power in society.

I had the hair cutting experience where the female stylist was trying to get me to cut my hair shorter and shorter and this was way back in the 70's

Men are also suffering greatly with mental health issues as well.

This was particularly informative. 👍

These are great conversations. 👏🏾✌🏾

Trying to jump straight to the top of hierarchies. Listening to what they feel without question. Bending the knee to the tyrant in their minds called neurosis in exchange for a sense of comfort that traps you perpetually in an adolescent mindset.

Louise is the bestest. Love her so very much. Brilliant.

One of the things I love about my wife is she wears little makeup and actually asks me for fashion advice, as she can't be asked with all that. Every morning she throws on some clothes and asks me if X goes with Y, and I often have to tell her no, traditional satin with exotic patterns does not go the Hello Kitty Tee...

When I was a teenager I couldn’t buy Lululemon leggings and I always wondered why they would stop at size 10 at my local store. Dang now I know why

For the life of me, as someone who empowers the dignity of a person, I cannot comprehend why women have become ravenous at tearing down another woman they fear being inferior to. Actually, no- I realize their behavior has been left unchecked both virtually and realistically, and envy coupled with mobs allows for horrific consequences towards their targets. Add mental illness (histrionic personality disorder) as an exponent to the damage being caused. God help us.

3:50 Yeah. Coming from a Latin American country you're correct 100%. Woman style/dress and make up is to compete with other woman.

My mother used to say "sofrer, sofrer, para mais bonita parecer" while she was trying to sort out my awfull, actually beautifull, curly hair. Which means you have to suffer, suffer pain to look more beautifull. Something like that.

You can never get enough of what you don't need because what you don't need can never satisfy you. Sorry girls.

Louise says all this with a full face of makeup including rouge and mascara and sees no connection with the predatory beauty industry? There are videos out there that will instruct you on how to sculpt your face to resemble almost nothing of innate bone structure, aquiline prominence, eye width, etc. I suppose she doesn't understand the ramping-up of any field; whether that's competition among men to be the strongest or women to be the prettiest. If the market is lucrative, a company will go to any lengths to sell you that snake oil.

I know this is only a clip of the whole conversation, but it’s amazing to me how she saying what women do well, she’s a woman and I guarantee her nails look fabulous right now and he’s saying oh what women will do, which is usually pushed by the fact that men find us completelyunattractive after a certain age and they feel that they still are. It’s just strange. It sucks 46 struggling with it and it’s hard.

7:31 yes yes yes Louise you are indeed correct.

I never understood why women compete and sabotage one another the way they do. As a man, i want my friends to succeed because if they do well it'll come around. The worst advice women give is on dating. Literally just be ok looking, in shape, and dont play games that make your partners life worse and you'll get your dream man. I'm thirty, have been with somewhere between 20 and 30 women, and will literally marry the first one that isnt a liability. Sounds callous but thats all us men want. Looking good helps, but men know its only gonna last a few years, if he's thinking about the long haul, he's asking himself if you have the character to be a good member of the family - long after you stop looking good. Once you hit the age those looks start to go, men will start to ignore you, not superficially, but because they'll assume you spent ten years minimum failing and doesnt expect the pattern to change.

I have always noticed that female hairdressers cut more off my long hair than male hairdressers do. Now i know why.

Man here. Yes, I love long hair. I have long hair. When I see a woman with long hair, I'm noticing while pretending not to notice.

Just love these conversations… fascinating.

Remember ladies, men value loyalty so much that they are willing to die for a rag on a stick because it represents what they have sworn to defend!

"If you only did the beauty routine of 40 years ago, you'd look really bad". As a man, I disagree. Wear women's clothes, have a basic hairstyle (with longish hair), wear simple makeup with earrings. No nose rings, no face piercings, no blue hair, no cosmetic surgery, no tattoos, don't bite your nails. That will put you in the top 10%. As Chris alluded to, most of the extra stuff comes from other women tricking you into looking worse.

(1) I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. (2) I am of the nature to have ill-health. There is no way to escape having ill-health. (3) I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. (4) All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. Gauthama

The number one thing I notice when I travel is honestly how much healthier the women seem, both mentally and physically. American women’s obsession with being men and working has made them stressed beyond belief and it’s hurting their physical health too. It’s rare I see fit women these days

A lot of your content seems to revolve around pointing out the flaws in women for the sake of making men feel better about themselves.

I dye my hair with pure henna. Many health problems went away when I stopped dying my hair with chemical hairpaint.

I think that a lot of women pressure eachother to be groomed to within an inch of their lives in part because they see good grooming as a sign of someone having their sh*t together, and that's what they want to be around, because it makes them feel better. Being around a human with their sh*t all over the place and with poor hygiene is bad for all of us. We instinctively move away from it - just see how you react to sitting beside a homeless person who hasn't washed in months. The hair-dying and wrinkle-erasing is similar: women want eachother to do it because seeing their peers getting old-looking is frightening and depressing - it reminds them that they're getting old too. I think at least part of the pressure to look good and young comes from a collective instinct to keep the 'tribe' healthy and full of vitality because it benefits everyone in it.

In my 50’s I’ve developed even greater appreciation for women who display their defiance of this hyper competitiveness by wearing minimal to no makeup & not spending ridiculously on manicures & hairdressing. There’s something more attractive about the attitude of confidence in their own self worth & natural beauty this displays. Women my age who try too hard to defy their years often wind up presenting as being desperately in denial & in need of too much external validation. Neither of which is attractive.

I've always done these things for myself and sometimes for society but I've never seen it as competition against other women.

Life is an endedless hunt for happiness , comforts that never comes and then you die. People put so much in the materila life that when it vanishes they get depressed. It is difficult to think beyond the self and society when you were born in it indoctrinated.

If there was a surgery that would let men earn 7 figures, the line would be incredible.

I don’t think a lot of men realize how much money women spend on themselves for maintenance” purposes lol. It’s absolutely ridiculous, and shows you why their consumer rates are so high compared to men. Only men can understand true contentment💯

Prey for them hope they heal the pain

This doesn't pertain to all women. Many, many, many women look for happiness outside of themselves. It isn't there. I tell young men that if they meet a woman and she is not full of joy, genuinely happy, and likes who she is, to move on. You can't make her happy.

Did she really compare the jet engine to nail varnish lasting another two weeks…

Because they’re susceptible to manipulation due to living through their emotions.

An observation a friend of mine made was how every time he talked to a girl online they were always in their bedroom. An anecdotal example i know. But if most young women spend most of their free time in their room festering on snapchat and instagram then its no wonder many young women are constantly unhappy.

She says men don't notice when women have manicures and stuff like that, but I notice when they do their nails, all of them, I find that attractive to the point of having preferences, and I don't think I'm alone in that, even if it's more of a peripheral thing for most guys. I tend to notice details more though, so maybe I'm just weird.

Everyones struggling because they dont believe in God, nothing can replace God

Most guys want natural beauty. What natural beauty looks like is not what girls think. We all have imperfections.

My observation and opinion; the strongest and healthiest women (and men) are those that are the most spiritual. This world is full of lies. We are bombarded by them from time we are children. Only surrender to the truth (no matter how difficult) and faith in God to take care of us can give us the insight and strength to negotiate the lies.

She’s right about the expectations for women’s maintenance. Men have told me/critiqued me on my having my nails painted or wearing plain clothes and less/no makeup. Of course men say they like that…but it feels like only if your like stunning . Average ladies with a ton of other great qualities get missed because they are used to looking at very done-up women and social media photos.

The world somehow convinced women that taking care of their families is somehow beneath them and in fact misogynistic. And that pursuing a “career” is much more important

They struggle because they did not adapt compartmentalization well. They can’t self sooth to difficult situations at the same rate that things which disturb them come into their lives. The ones that actually DO compartmentalize effectively become cold and detached. Have yet to meet a woman that was perfectly well adjusted to this plight. Hormones are a hell of a ride

I can't even oay attention to the content. I'm all like 'when is she going to smile again. I hope she smiles again soon. that was amazing.'

Everything now is reactionary, superficial, and egotistic. Such things always end badly.

I care more about men's mental health than women's mental health.

hahah. This is funny. My wife will change her nails and even hair sometimes and I wont even notice. She will have a zit on her face and be obsessing over it and I don't even see it. Wife goggles perhaps ? Now when she shows skin, and the more she shows, that gets my attention.

Interesting to hear something like this from a womans perspective, and I think shes right with pretty much everything shes saying. I have to say I underestimated the rivalry between women, althoug I wasnt ignorant to the fact. But whatever the reasons are, theres alot of pressure for women and girls, and it makes me sad. For me I like natural women and without surgery, to think someone would do surgery out of pressure is deeply concerning me.

The true beauty comes from inside from your heart .

Women think that cosmetics make them look better, but it's just a false appearance... no matter how many times you say it, it doesn't get into their heads because when they're "painted" they feel more beautiful and that's where the problems start... believing they are more than they really are, from that moment on they are no longer realistic and become narcissistic. Imagine if the rules changed in beauty contests... all cosmetics banned ;) we could see what real beauty is!

Because people are struggling and women are people?

Well, having a ton of pain caused by toxic situations or people doesn't help with mental health..

I can only speak from within my bubble of experience, but in that experience no one is a bigger enemy to women than themselves and other women. In all my years I have never had a single male friend or associate display deep critical analyses on anyones looks or outfit. This is to say that neither I or any other guy i know have expectations for our women.

I dated a stunning beauty of a woman for 2 yrs. It didn't matter how many times I told her she was beautiful, she couldn't stop with fillers and botox....

Obviously because the beauty industries prey on women's insecurities to sell them products that artificially and temporarily give s a sense of worthiness of admiration, desire or confidence. The real difference is where does it all draw from? From authenticity of self expression and joy or from insecurity...

*Anyone* not in control of their emotions is going to have mental health problems...

It's so true all the makeup, clothes, hair, etc is for girls and gays. I don't do all that. I work out every day, so I don't bother dying my hair etc when I'm sweating in the pool etc. I have no problem with the men. My body is rock solid. The women hate me because I look better than them without all the fancy clothes and hair dye and face paint ha.

This clip is so much funnier than the title would make you think

They are not genetically predisposed to handle stress the same way men are and it’s overwhelming.

*Success depends on the actions or steps you take to achieve it. Building wealth involves developing good habits, such as regularly setting aside money for sound investment🇺🇲*

Thanks for the video. I found this to be true when women rate guys in public places as well. Update your clothes and shoes and go into public places. The attention you get immediately jumps when changing your perceived social status.