Why Dating With Depression Is So (Bleeping) Hard - People Watching #3 

Have any of you ever felt bad because things went good and you are not used to them going that way, or you feel that you don't deserve that? Or is that just me?

this isn't even just with dating. with depression so many relationships become so hard to sustain and before you know it you haven't talked to someone for months and pretty much tell yourself they've moved on and forgot about you so why bother reaching out. I've lost so many friendships to this.

“Other people aren’t like you, they’re more mature and center and much happier. There’s a certain level you have to get to before you’re entitled to mutual love and support.” Damn.

Suffer from depression long enough and you'll graduate from perpetual sadness to not feeling anything at all lol.

my depression feels like your stuck in a room, filling with water, and you can't breathe anymore. but you just sit there for weeks thinking, why haven't I drowned yet?

So am I the only on who when they start talking about their depression, they feel like they're talking about it too much and bothering the listener?

I found this series a couple years ago now. I was in university at the time and in a dark spot. I remember watching this and seeing myself and thinking that it would always be me. I just rewatched it and I don't see myself anymore. The old me inside who watched it and cried is still there but I am not her. It's taken a lot of work, growth and healing but I'm proud of that. I still have my days but I can hear the voice now and tell it to stfu. So to anyone that watches this and thinks that you are doomed to be this person, you aren't. If I can you can. Take care x

Overthinking, being hard on yourself and not forgiving; expecting that you need to be perfect for other people. yes that is depression in a nutshell.

Dear God, the ending made me cry. I know that voice.

It hit hard when her messy apartment was revealed and I realized it's just as messy as my room

I think the roughest part for me is when it pans out and we realise he’s changed. Her apartment was clean and cozy when she invited him over, probably because she was excited about the doubt and maybe if she had veered off the depression analysis she would have invited him up with suggestive purposes. But, and what’s so relatable to me, is seeing how a week later, just a week a later, everything has fallen apart again. The little details are great, a speeding fine notification in the corner, the candle that has melted outwards because she forgot to put it out, the laptop and table has been covered over with dirty dishes that she probably doesn’t have the energy to clean. Sometimes it feels like we put so much effort into creating this ‘ideal’ living space that it just falls apart, and we turn around and realise we’ve been living like an animal without realising it

It took me over a year to click this... I remember consciously not clicking over and over and over again. I finally cracked

the ending is so accurate, even when things go well afterwards i always feel like i screwed it up somehow or im the only one that thought it was good. and those thoughts just sneak in before you know it and i cant remember what was so good in the first place. this hit me hard. thank you for saying it.

This series is genius on so many levels. The way she keeps apologizing for herself, the way she can't even appreciate the guy not being put off by it, and the way "depression guy" breaks the whole thing down afterward. I mean, that's so accurate! The writers of this series must really be in touch with own subconscious minds.

"just like I can always imagine the worst when I'm alright, I can at least picture the best when I'm severely depressed" I will always try to remember this

Rewatching this series cuz it deserves that. Also it still resonates. She slipped back into a depressive state so smoothly. It's wild how they portrayed how I feel so well.

I was wondering why he was being mean then I started crying

Towards the end, it felt like the air was being squeezed out of me... I hate how much I got this, I need to change.

"It's kind of a depression/anxiety thing I guess. 1 Word. You're not getting without the other. I don't know why they are two separate words, now that I think about it. But I'm always thinking about it - *please interrupt me"* This line cracked me up! I fell in love with the script

My ex gf of about 5 years was type 2 Bipolar, and yeah, while it was hard at first it was actually easier long run. I mean once you know it's the bipolar and not her usual self it's a lot easier to break down the unusual behaviour. To pull that off though you need to be a rock through the crying and the through the self doubt and the self lothing phases. Also you need to be weary of the manic phases too. It helps to know that it's like a wave reaching the shore. It will swell up with her, and hold for a time and then receed again and she will return. Also there is a clear pattern to those waves and you learn to anticipate them. Two things to avoid however - 1. Don't go off the meds. It never works out. 2. You won't "fix" the person. It's like expecting them to regrow an arm. It ain't gonna happen. You need to be happy with the reality of the situation and then it becomes very easy to manage.

that was beautiful yet so fucking sad and makes it so much sense

This made me cry. The depression guy said the things that go through my head

Didn't even realize I was crying until my screen was wet. When he attacked everything that made her feel good in the end, I couldn't distinguish what he was saying from what I have thought about myself in the past.

Oh my gosh. I was thinking she’s talking about depression on a date too much. And then the end. It really hit me hard and tears just started streaming down my face. It’s like you want to be happy and be happy, but this depression guy just keeps talking shit. Just being around my mother too much can do the same thing as depression guy.

I didn't like it at first but I watched it till the end. Now I understand.

Jesus, this is so spot on. I am almost to embarrassed to comment since it feels like exposing myaelf

since I was introduced to this I’ve made it a yearly thing to revisit the show which has always felt like a warm hug. I had my first therapy session a couple of weeks ago and found out that I'm probably exhibiting signs of depression so this made me sob a little harder than usual. It's been years but I really hope this gets a third season.

"Because of chemical imbalances or stuff from their childhood." or... y'know...both?

This could've easily been in Bojack Horseman

I don't care what everybody else says the new season of Daria is lit

This is why I don't jump from relationship to relationship, and even avoid dating altogether when I feel terrible in life: *The other person doesn't really understand that you're depressed and is just going to take your depression as your baseline state.* They wont get how depressed you are. All they're gonna do is reinforce your broken behaviors, because that's who they think you actually are. They don't even know the healthy "real you" and won't help you get back to that. Plus... it makes depression feel worse. It makes you feel more broken and fucked up and inadequate. Why even go there? Healing matters more than fitting in, or keeping up appearances. *Heal yourself first.* Before chasing "success" or perfect life, heal yourself first. Healing is priority number 1. Get in good terms with yourself before trying to get with anyone else. Chances are dating while depressed won't help.

“There’s a certain level you have to get to before you’re entitled to love and support”.....yup I felt that

Shit. This is how it is just trying to make friends.

The ending gave me chills and made me tear up a bit, the way Depression Guy spoke was so eerily familiar to my own inner dialogue it kinda freaked me out. I'm in a relationship but thanks to my severe depression/anxiety I spend most days thinking about all the ways I'm letting him down, all the ways that I'm not good enough, all the ways he could do better if he left me behind. So even if you date someone and it turns into something real, the hurdles don't end there. There are good times, even beautiful times, don't get me wrong, but there might also be times where you find yourself screaming at your significant other that you can't cope and you want to die after staying up for 2 consecutive nights on the couch watching Netflix, dirty plates piling up all around you. Times where you sob quietly but unrelentingly in the dark on the bathroom floor because you don't want him to know that you're spiralling into the pitch black oblivion again. The guilt is even more constant and consistent when you have a partner who takes good care of you. There are pros and cons to everything, but you will still have to convince yourself that you are worthy of love whether you are just dating or in a relationshop, that problem seems to persist regardless of one's relationship status. We are worthy but we also can't blame others for not wanting to take us on and we must be forthright about our issues as seen here.

Who needs a shrink when you have this series to watch???? I absolutely love the realness of this! It's like y'all are saying all the things we really wanna say, but if we say them, we're crazy! Thank you sooooooooo much!

Remembering the ending to this, made me anxious. This seriously captures how dating and depression really suck.

At first I thought, "What a load of crap", but in the end I think I really got it. It doesn't matter at all how the date really went, as soon as depression kicks in you'll find a reason to believe it went badly and, what's even more important, it was your fault for not being enough in one way or another. That creates a memory you have to carry to every future date and which will increase the chance of you repeating the process over and over, right?

This got too real. It scares me how much I relate to this

This episode hits hard. Like others, I make it a habit to see this once a yr to reconnect and gauge where I'm at. This time, I couldn't watch the episode and skipped to the end. It's what I'm going through now. Thanks for the reminder Subnormality/PeopleWatching. I needed it.

Oh my God... It gave my chills when the mood changed

Damn these are some good shorts! Depression Guy is like a squatter that somehow managed to get into your house, refuses to leave and then passive-aggressively criticizes you for letting him in in the first place.

Too real... I started crying when the Depression-Guy replaced Jeremy. Thanks for making this.

So accurate and thankful to the creators of this for working on this, can’t imagine how difficult it must have been. Thanks a million for creating this right here. It helps me feel like I’m not alone with my thoughts.

Jesus christ this series is blowing my mind. I've been shocked, had my mind blown, cried, and learned SO MUCH. Thank you!

This fucked me up.

Honestly, this is really common today. I can’t even express the number of women I took out on dates that shamed themselves the moment I complimented them on their outfit, hair and/or make up. And you have to follow up with “no seriously, you look really good”.

6 years later , im in the happiest relationship . ❤️ continue to fight that depression demon … you got this ❤️

Hey guys have struggled with all that crap since 15....I saw this video and related so strongly that I showed this to my at the time bf (now hubby) to help him get it. I’ve worked I’ve gotten better I still struggle but not nearly as bad. Hopefully this is encouragement to those in 2020 who may be ready to end it. You are worth getting better, you are worth taking care of, you are worth so much and it can get better. ❤️

*Cries harder in spanish*

Bojack vibes.

I dated a dude with depression for over two years. I watched him spiral and begged him constantly to get help but he wouldn’t. It came to the point where he was emotionally abusing me without realizing it due to the fact he was dealing with all of his own problems because he was never willing to get help from me or a therapist and I had to break up with him. I felt terrible but it ended up being better for both of us. Dating and depression don’t mix. You have to be willing to get help.

Cracked, thank you so much for the effort that you take to put these videos together. I haven't recognised myself in the past two years, feels a little like floating. Cant seem to connect with people, always get a feeling afterwards that I screwed something up, or overexplained (cause I did), and that there is this second voice constantly whispering negative things to me, no matter how hard I try to be happy and positive. Finding myself more and more anxious to go outside and to try new things. It's just not a me I know. I used to feel blessed that I didn't know much about this thing called depression that so many people had but I couldn't possibly have. Dating and connecting with people has been very hard recently The last person I had a long relationship with had depression and I know this isn't the case but it feels like it rubbed off on me in a sense. My perspective changed. On one up note, the good days really feel like a blessing, I know they are coming and have patience with myself, reminding myself that its just a bad day and that a good one will come soon. And when it does I feel soooo happy. I tend to feel it most at home, but the "side effects" seem to entangle with all aspects of life. Overexplaining and overthinking (like I am doing now) and hyper reflecting are a big part of my mental picture currently. You folks are so awesome for creating a video about depression that doesn't just show it as someone in bed not able to get up. Wonderful!

God I hate depression guy. He never leave me alone.

"I at least want to believe"

Having the same actor for the voice of Jeremy as well as Depression Guy, making it initially hard to distinguish between the two speakers aside from a subtle change in tone and inflections, is such a beautiful, subtle, and meaningful artistic choice.

This hit so close to home... Thanks for the episode, guys. Love your series.

Dating with depression would be so much easier if you actually met cool, compassionate people, but most of the time its a bunch of half interested, disingenuous one shot dates with people that only make you hate and question your self worth more.

This is the best metaphor for depression I've ever seen. EDIT: I wonder if this is how Robin Williams felt at home alone after a show or something.

Holy shit this hits home so much. When I was online serial dating (before I met my boyfriend), no matter how great it seemed like the date went, I would still think i wasn't shit or that they'd find someone way better or funnier than me. Like why would anyone want me? I was always obsessively checking my phone for texts from them to the point of extreme anxiety (even if i didn't like them that much) simply because it made me feel somewhat wanted for once. Depression is really good at resurfacing old wounds and telling you that your past instances are an indicator of what will always happen, even though level-headed people know thats simply NOT the truth. But when youre in that dark place, its much easier to listen to that loud pessimistic barking than it is to listen to an optimistic whisper from afar. I thought after having a BF who loves me so much, my depression would just disappear, which is far from the truth. It always finds ways or reasons to creep back up into my life. It went from "no one wants you" to "he's probably the only man on earth who would ever want you anyways, no fucking clue how". Its a disgusting mindset, and it really keeps me from fully appreciating this amazing, patient, and understanding man.

I've been living with chronic depression for 8 years now. Even now, where I am mostly in maintenance mode, and haven't had any significant acute episodes in the past couple years, dating still presents itself as a huge trigger for anxiety. I've never seen this experience so well articulated a this short. Another reason I'm a diehard fan of Winston

This makes too much sense. I was diagnosed with depression and I have my own metaphor. The "dark cloud." I just feel so unmotivated to do anything when the dark clouds invade my mind. I don't want to talk to anyone, I feel so irritated and life is just generally shitty. I want to hide and cry because the world is against me, it seems. Everything goes wrong, even the most trivial things seem just terrible. When I have "uptime" though and the dark clouds disperse a little, I can go out some and be slightly social. I can remember what happiness feels like. I don't get accused of being an antisocial hermit hiding in my room when the dark clouds go away for a little while. My friends and family just don't get it. I don't act this way on purpose. I didn't ask for it. So my message to everyone: if you know someone with depression, please support them. Be there for them. Don't tell them "get over it" or "suck it up." That's like telling someone with diabetes or epilepsy to "get over it." I know it seems like we suck the energy from a room and we're unpleasant to be around, but we need you. More than you know.

I have suffered through depression for 5 years, I've been clean for a year, and this video described it beautifully. It's like your telling yourself awful things you know aren't true, but for some odd reason, you want them to be. It's easier to hate yourself and give in than to be loving to yourself and fight. And while you fight for others and encourage them to fight for themselves, you for some reason put yourself down and tell yourself you can't do it so why bother. I hope others find this video like I did, and learn to understand depression in the ironic way this video showed it to be. I'm slowly starting to love cracked, even though I've known it for years. Thank you for this piece of art.

The subtle shift @ 6:40 was ...just so amazing. 8:40 was just... heartbreaking.

The end was so real and relatable it made me ugly cry. Really great video, loved the animation and writing and voice acting. Subscribed. Thank you.

yes. that's all i can say. i have depression and honestly i feel like this is a great video for people who don't understand it well.

Smelled that twist coming but wasn't quite ready for how hard the gut shot would hit. Let's just say I can relate. Well done.

I wanted to revisit this video, and it's been over a year. I was scared to rewatch it because of how much I relate to it. It has been over a year since I've been in a dark place like this. I've worked so hard to not be this person anymore and looking back at this video, I analyzed things differently now because of how things are now. Things will get better, but you work so hard to get out of that place. I still have depression and anxiety, it never goes away, I'm just constantly working on how to not get to this dark place again. When I did date (two years ago) it went a lot like this video, now I can confidently say I have built myself into mentally stronger person, into a happier and more positive one. I still wake up everyday to be a better person than I was yesterday. I am doing things now that I only dreamed of doing because I've worked my ass off and challenging myself to do things I was always too scared to do. Now when I do date, it won't go like it did in this video anymore. I wish you all wellness and happiness.

Wow… I’ve seen a lot of clips but this was extremely relatable and powerful.

While watching this all I was thinking was 'well it seems like it's going pretty well, she's funny and describes her situation perfectly, and he's all nice and kind about it... But she's talking so much and maybe he's just being polite and overwhelmed by everything' so it hit me hard when his voice changed and everything I thought was said and I (once more) had to realize how my brain works..

you come into my house and make *me* feel sad?

It's great to know I'm not the only one with this. That I'm not the only one who's thinking that I need to be a certain level for people to accept me.

Im so used to being invisible, forgotten, or /over looked that when this beautiful man said he liked my style on the dance floor last week I felt like he looked into my soul and for the rest of the night i could only 2 step and check myself in the mirror looking for the thing that made me different from everyone else.

What's sad is the person who just finished watching this and is now reading this but is to scared to comment because ur afraid u will be judged or an outcast amongst outcast and can u get anymore outcasted age that probably not. Ur not an outcast you belong and if this is you I'm sorry you feel that way I understand I'm surprised I'm even going to post this honestly but here goes nothing hopefully I'm not an outcast amongst outcast

This is me except the guy doesn’t end up texting half a dozen times afterwards. In fact, he doesn’t follow up with me at all. I don’t text him for fear of experiencing the ultimate rejection: being ghosted. I’m depressed because of my circumstances. Because no matter how much I think I hit it off with someone they end up forgetting about me.

This is helping me ramp down so much. So thankful that I found this again

This is so good. Though it definitely applies to dating the most, I see this reflected in the friendships I try to form all the time.

I had no idea anyone else felt this way. This is exactly whats in my head.

"There's a certain level you have to get to before you're entitled to love and mutual support." ...this line really hits home. Literally one of the many obsessive thoughts I have on a daily basis

I just wanted to let anybody who is reading this know that they are incredibly strong and beautiful. Dealing with depression is one of the hardest battles to fight. It takes somebody of true strength to continuously fight their own mind 24/7. You radiate from your roots with justifiable beauty, and it's time somebody reminded you that.

I’m so glad this found me again. I needed it; it kept me from offing myself and it helped me now. The “most played” time hurt my heart because I know exactly why it is. It affirms the terrible things depression tells you and it wants you to punish yourself more by hearing it over and over. I’m so sorry everyone

This makes me cry, cause it's exactly what has ruined my last relationship, which ended two weeks ago. The guy really wanted me to be his girlfriend and was so into me and was treating me so well and I felt like in heaven, but my depression or whatever it is destroyed the whole thing as I was emotionally unstable and doubted everything and it scared him off. It's so fucking frustrating because it wasnt the real me and I wish I could explain that to him but it would not save anything anyway. I easily get guys to want me but my fucked up mind usually dissuades them after some time. I dont want to be like this. I dont know what to do (I'm sorry for my bad english).

I think the scariest thing is I can’t tell the difference between the depression guys voice, and my own. Or maybe his voice is the only one

I just discovered this series. And it is amazing.

When the depression guy came in I got CHILLS all over. Wow.

Iv never heard depression explained so well until now it's almost like a mirror. This is great.

reading the comments, I don't feel lonely and strange anymore. jeez I love y'all 👀

I seem to alleys come back to these episodes even after forgetting they exist for years. Like a comfort blanket

Thank you so much for this video. I dont need metaphors or examples anymore. This video covered it ALL. Even mimicked the conversation I often have in my head. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not crazy

to anybody out there feeling this. You are brave, beautiful and worthy of full participation in this messed up thing called life. We may be lonely.. But we are not alone.

I was expecting her to instantly fall in love because someone gave a damn about her and then he realizes just opened a Grand Canyon of worms as being the sole reason of the depressed person for living which usually ends up as either the guy moves away to correct the mistake or the depressed person gets trapped in a relationship where the healthy partner takes advantage of the depressed and they let it happen because who else wants them realistically but a user.

Recently, I was in the exact same spot as this girl. Over the last months, I've finally found a way to tolerate my depression and live a happier life. I'm going to ask her out again, just to see if it's possible to not be reduced to our worst fear, our worst flaw, but to actually be loved for the person underneath this pile of shame that depression puts onto us. No one needs to be rejected, because he/she is depressed, and no one deservers to to live under the reduced life quality depression puts us into. For everyone who reads this: feel yourself hugged. I like you.

Damn, this felt good to have something to relate to and seeing so many people in the comments relating to this too. I literally overthink and realize I overshare like this all of the time because I isolate myself and when I finally let someone get to know me, I open up and let it all out. I guess none of us is as alone as we think we are.

"When you're talking depression it's just the whole thing of not feeling like there's a point to doing anything because you're so shitty, or the world's so shitty, and you can't stop telling yourself that, even though you know it's not true." Damn. Hits hard. This series is definitely the best thing Cracked have put out in years.

Every one in the comment section relates we all relate I love it we're not alone we understand.

Very helpful! I’ve been dating a guy who struggles with depression and this shed more light on his side of things.

Frig, very very well done. Extraordinary video. Thanks for making it.

well that's good that's really good its Bojack horsman good

This is me. Each time I hang out with my friends or talk with my boyfriend, I think it's going well. As soon as it concludes, I analyze everything they said and what I've done. In the past, so many people have left me. They got bored so they moved on. Just like a little kid and their toy.... Next thing I know I'm not sleeping on purpose and I'm drowning in my own thoughts. I'm often contradicting my own actions with the threat to break past promises. I tell myself I'm fine while staring at my pocket knife. I live through my mistakes and I'm always questioning why. I don't trust people when they say nice things. I want to trust people again, but I don't ever know if I can...

That ending, and the transition, was brilliant.

Geeeeeeez! That description of how depression sneaks in and talks to you though..... I will be using this as the perfect example from now on. Thank you