I've been emotionless for 5 years already. at first it was really hard to take, when it started. During this time there were periods when I stopped thinking about it, but it just does not go away. I had the most successful moments of my life and felt almost nothing out of it. This made me stop being an artist, because emotions were the fuel I used to make my sculptures. It feels like I have no connection to my past, I can't recall emotion of any period of my life, it's just flat. At the moment I'm in complete confusion, I have no sense of wanting anything, I feel no excitement about future plans I used to have. Therefore I'm not moving my life forward and feel like I'm already stagnating. Its like there is a wall between me and my emotions, very very seldom I manage to catch glimpses of them, that's how I know they are still here, but I just don't know how to break that wall. This problem can deeply effect the quality of ones life. I wish all of you a speedy recovery!
The worst is that nobody from our environments can understand what we're going through. I just can't explain it even to my therapist i'm just faking happiness. I cry and i don't feel anything. I don't even feel attraction to other people, i don't even want to be in a relationship because i won't be able to feel love and be myself. No words can describe this awful situation but i'm sure one day everything will be ok...
I've lived like this for 15 years. CPTSD from childhood. I needed dissociation to survive. The last year has been absolute hell getting out of it. At first I only felt pain anger and sadness. After 9 months I am finally starting to feel positive emotions. Keep fighting there is another life out there. It's like another dimension. Everything is brighter and better. I feel alive again at 29. There is hope never forget that.
Not being emotionally moved by beauty is so hard to cope with. It feely like you're wasting your life away, this goes hand in hand with not having interest in doing things you once did or going places you once loved.
im so tired, I want to care again. I want to have goals and shoot for the best I can accomplish. But at the moment I just dont care. I don't care and It feels like I dont care that I dont care.
Feeling numb is just an uncomfortable comfort a weird silent like you are not happy but not sad at the same time you just feel nothing your like a rock
I agree i can mimic emotions and feel them partially and i use them accordingly. Emotion numb helps a lot to deal with stressful or dangerous situations with calm of mind, been there
How to heal numbness: Say "Thank you" to the numbness and ask "what are you trying to tell me?" What will help me feel safe Find a safe environment to talk Body work become aware of breath Body scan- what am I feeling right now *Just be with the feeling of numbness without trying to change it
Thanks to this video i may have found the reason behind me feeling like a robot made of bones muscles and flesh pretending to be human. I have experienced quite horrible things as a baby. In the first 2 years of my life i never had a father, i had a mother that was an addict, her attempts of raising me ended up in getting drowned in the bath instead of being washed, didnt get much food or drinks. Slept under a lamp on a rug, moved at least 11 times to another home in under a year and so forth. Knowing that only stays with knowledge unfortunately. In truth in the time i developed a conscience up until now i dont really care about anything but me having to pretend, act and do everything i can to survive. I now dont care about my fosterfamily, dont care about friends (never really had those) dont care about hunger or thirst that much. I just do what people tell me to or expect me to because i cant bring myself to do anything at this point. Life has become meaningless to me and now im simply trying to exist and at least enjoy my time withering away in emptiness.
Sometimes i think how unbelievable happy i would be if i could feel my emotions again. Even only for one day, feeling the nostalgia again. Feeling compassion. Even walking around with anxiety and racing thoughts most of the time i was grateful. I was very grateful for the small things happening during the day like for example drinking a cup of green tea. It was a lot pain to bare but it was something. But when i went numb with 28 i knew its over. I realized how much i had and how much i lost. This is one of the worst things you could ever have.
@Mehmet Tan really it is possible to feel again , just do one thing get out of your comfort zone & face your fears throw your self in uncomfortable situations then u will feel bad & when the bad feeling comes don't resist it accept it & then u will start feeling good
I’ve been feeling empty for 4 years now since the 2020 Covid 19 pandemic nothing seems to faze me anymore like it used to. No matter how shocking or surprising something is supposed to be to me or anyone else, I can’t seem to get fazed about it. I can’t enjoy anything like music, hobbies or anything. When I talk to people I still feel empty at least 90%. I don’t know what to do. I'm freaking out and I’m only 23 years old. Every time I hangout with one person or a group of friends and when one of them asks me if I had fun I have to lie and pretend and say yes because I fear that they’ll judge me in a pessimistic manner if I tell them how I actually feel deep inside. No matter what I do and what I try I just can’t seem to find joy in it 😭🤦🏾♂️😢. The only emotions I can feel are sadness, a little bit of anger and boredom that’s it. I can’t feel any happiness, no excitement or euphoria, motivation nothing. All I feel is numbness, emptiness, laziness. Literally when I’m around my friends I have to pretend and act like I’m having a good time but knowing deep inside I’m not I’m feeling emotionally numb and empty at least 85%-90%. I feel empty because I was rejected so much by my high school basketball coach 6 and more years ago and I was a walk on player for a college basketball team but since the school closed down cuz of Covid 19 pandemic 😷 I couldn’t practice with them no more and I even tried emailing the coach but he never 👎🏾 got back to me and this was in between 2020-2021. I decided to discontinue afterwards cuz it wasn’t working out for me and I wanted to focus on school and get my degree. Which I eventually did last year in May. And yeah I still feel empty cuz I’m just tired of facing rejection in life in terms of anything in life like getting a job or talking to a girl. And by the way I lost passion for basketball 🏀 since it didn't work out for me.
@@osmanguney7324 I’ve been feeling empty for 4 years now since the 2020 Covid 19 pandemic nothing seems to faze me anymore like it used to. No matter how shocking or surprising something is supposed to be to me or anyone else, I can’t seem to get fazed about it. I can’t enjoy anything like music, hobbies or anything. When I talk to people I still feel empty at least 90%. I don’t know what to do. I'm freaking out and I’m only 23 years old. Every time I hangout with one person or a group of friends and when one of them asks me if I had fun I have to lie and pretend and say yes because I fear that they’ll judge me in a pessimistic manner if I tell them how I actually feel deep inside. No matter what I do and what I try I just can’t seem to find joy in it 😭🤦🏾♂️😢. The only emotions I can feel are sadness, a little bit of anger and boredom that’s it. I can’t feel any happiness, no excitement or euphoria, motivation nothing. All I feel is numbness, emptiness, laziness. Literally when I’m around my friends I have to pretend and act like I’m having a good time but knowing deep inside I’m not I’m feeling emotionally numb and empty at least 85%-90%. I feel empty because I was rejected so much by my high school basketball coach 6 and more years ago and I was a walk on player for a college basketball team but since the school closed down cuz of Covid 19 pandemic 😷 I couldn’t practice with them no more and I even tried emailing the coach but he never 👎🏾 got back to me and this was in between 2020-2021. I decided to discontinue afterwards cuz it wasn’t working out for me and I wanted to focus on school and get my degree. Which I eventually did last year in May. And yeah I still feel empty cuz I’m just tired of facing rejection in life in terms of anything in life like getting a job or talking to a girl. And by the way I lost passion for basketball 🏀 since it didn't work out for me.
being dissociated 90% of the time WGILE BEING AN EMPATH is an absolute trip. Everything seems so surreal and empty- and then depending on who im around (not veiled) at the end of the day its like i feel every single emotion at once while also not even being able to recognize it as emotion. it makes me physically ill. sometimes just turning off everything in my brain manually is the only option.
David - not to sound dramatic, but this video saved my life. I have been struggling for the past (almost) five years with describing how I feel/felt after a perfect storm of traumatic experiences that made me feel like I was losing my mind. The things you described in the video as well as reading some of these comments gave me validation that I have been searching for endlessly but never found. I was able to link some things together and I figured out why I became numb in the first place (i.e. I connected the dots to realize that I have been suppressing my anxiety for the past 5 years and I see now how this has been the cause of my suffering). This realization alone has allowed me to open up again and feel. When I pieced it together a few days ago, it was a moment for me that deserved celebration (and still does). It is like my old self returned to me, I can feel things again, the barrier that was blocking me from feeling present in life is gone, and while I am still anxious, it no longer scares me and I can allow myself to feel. All of my symptoms make perfect sense. You have helped me end suffering I thought would forever be part of me. I thought I would be high functioning with something that was just *different about me since the traumatic events I experienced. May my story serve as an example to others struggling or searching for answers - there is a way out and you will solve it. Seek out the professional help you need from someone you trust and don’t be afraid to confront yourself. There are better days to come - just promise you will find whatever courage you have to take that step each day, even if you’re not making progress. Just keep going and never stop believing in yourself. You will be okay.
Matthew, thank you sincerely for sharing this. I think it will help anyone who reads it. There is always hope and it's essential that we share a message of hope with others. None of us are alone in this and, when we hold the desire to heal, it is simply a matter of time 🙏
How long were you numb for and how did it ever dawn on you that the root of your numbness was suppressed anxiety? Even more so curious to know how does one suppress anxiety? I'm just wondering because I also have numbness due to a lot of trauma that I've been through. I was inspired after reading your story. Would love to hear some of your insight if you wouldn't mind.
I wonder if this is more pervasive than we know. I suspect we all have pockets of this. I think of all the incidents in school where teachers said things and we just had to grin and bear it even though it hurt deeply. It has always been weird to me that humans can create systems that are illogical and unnatural to humans. How in the world does this come about?
This disassociation that I feel with everything has really hindered every progress that I have with life. My relationships, my talent for academics and art, the goal I had set for my body, all went down the drain because of the simple question of "why am I even doing all of this" and yet even after being aware of the fact that I completely messed up my opportunities, I still feel nothing of it. It sucks cuz I just wanna feel human again but deep down I feel like being emotionally invested in anything would only cause further trauma and anxiety. I'm in a constant stalemate where I feel like every option that I have will lead to a worse scenario for me. I'm stuck and helpless.
This is exactly my situation. I know I'm losing my time, I wasting my talents, ambitions, goals, chances for a good relationship. It's like being dead inside.
Yes, in fear we dissociate from self, emotions, actually to protect ourselves from pain. Yet, as you begin to sit steady and watch and acknowledge it all, without condemning self, life, events, those around, without judging, blaming anything.... you will come to address what in you needs kind attention and acceptance. Until then, suffering is likely, maybe temporary respites. The way to heal opens with the observation of way we feel. Take care.
I have almost always been sensitive and alive to beauty ( except for a phase after death of someone dear), most art forms, music, nature, children.... best alone. I couldn't work unless i love it. It's in presence of others that I d mask, watch from behind, and not open up as i am....fear of abandonment, rejection... which I see/ understand now. My deep hesitation, inauthenticity has been in relationship.... and the greatest need has been to belong. How contrasting we live!!
You are not alone friend. Hope it gets better for you. Just have to put in the work, but the hardest part is realizing that you actually have work to do…
I'll be 58 shortly. Unfortunately my mother is still alive. To say she's stolen my joy would be an understatement but I finally got it back and so can you. They get worse with age. She's a covert narcissist. I've gone no contact before and this is my last time. It will be a year December 30th. There's no going back and life has never been better.
@@avertingapathy3052 Fantastic! My mother's hate and abuse is now my inspiration, I want nothing but the best for her. I'm constantly working toward my goals and I'm enjoying life in a way I've never felt before or knew possible through nothing but will, love and effort. I'm ready to inspire the future through game design using my interest in psychology and philosophy. Just a few days ago I got my certificate in Unreal Engine blueprinting and I can't wait to join Dr. Maloney in healing the world using my darkness as a tool for the greater good of all life through empathy! My mother might even choose good when she sees what I made.. I share Dr. Maloney with everyone who asks how I got so much better and I suggest the same to them! I believe in your ability to overcome! I'm with you, we're all one 💙
I don't understand how you have so few views. Your thorough approach to increasing understanding level is lovely. I know your work will help many. Thank you for the effort you've provided.
I havent really felt emotions for years. Intellectually I understood there is something wrong because i remembered as a child how life felt more embodied and my body felt like it was experiencing more of it. Now i realize its because i shut down cause i experienced complex trauma and i always feel like im an outsider to life. Hearing you now felt like someone for the first time understands how debilitating it is. I felt so understood and safe i started crying. I never comment on videos but i gotta Thank you for this video. This might possibly change my life
@@jamesb.hallmd9899 I absorb life force energy daily. This openes the mind body connection through vagus nerve. I have befriended anger as a signal to look into so i can understand when my boundries are crossed. Made a decision i speak my mind no matter what. I allow negative emotions without making myself guilty for them. That was the biggest one. I dont know if that is coping. I made an intention to get through to my emotional truth and get in touch with myself at all costs and that means allowing ourselves the entire range of emotions. I realized what blocks emotions is guilt. During my childhood adult problems were so severe that there was no one to take care of my needs. And i felt like i had no rights to ask for anything with all the issues and poverty. I felt powerless to help as a child and powerless to ask for my needs to the extent i wouldnt even become aware of them. For me it was important to learn what emotional and physicial needs we have as humans and with that my mind started to recognize when i have one and then i make sure to attend it or even ask for help from others because that was another big one. I would never ask anyone to help me with anything. It felt like i was all alone in the world. Once i realized when i as a child thought it wasnt appropriate to mention i need something then it started to change. All of this is about recognizing a pattern of behavior and our motives behind it. I also realized its not so much what i think about but how my body feels. This we need to practice. So many ppl now are dissconnected from themselves for simply not paying attention to how the body feels. So while we are healing its more impprtant to pay attention to the body and have that navigate us, rather then what we can figure out with pure logic. There is a lot of bottled up emotions and deviant beliefs about life and we need to question them all to get to the bottom of our truth. It is better to release through crying or screaming our lungs out somewhere than to overthink. Our body can hold suppressed energy making it hard to the mind to work clearly. It would take extra energy to stay normal. So its best to just recognize what the urge of the body is. This is a process. I dooesnt happen over night if you have the same issues, but life force energy is essential because we are without much energy left if emotional numbness is the case. The way i do this is through process called einstellen. This energy is something you will feel in your body like a current. Dont be afraid of feelings and never forget its not your fault. Maybe you had a time in your childhood where you felt powerless to help. This can cause a lot of guilt and block feeling anything that opposes that including anger, sadness etc. But if youre not in touch with emotions and even if you feel guilt it turns into overthinking. The life force energy doesnt cost money. I can give you a link but i dont knoe if the creator of the content would have a problem. Look up A Path to a healthy body and Soul - information lecture about Bruno Groening. There you will find the information on how you do it.
This video is just phenomenal. Once you explained the whole "being with the numbness" approach and not forcing oneself to feel, I swear, I felt a hint of peace. Thank you so much.
I've been experiencing and fighting derealization for 40+ years, been to several therapists, tried multiple interventions, but have never heard it discussed so succinctly. The advice to experience my numbness rather than fight it really resonates with me.
@@LilyStultz actually, yes! Thanks for asking. I'll try to pay attention to see if the frequency has decreased, but what has improved is my acceptance of it so that it's not distressing to experience it. And I think the intensity of them is lessened when they do occur.
@@LilyStultz pretty chronic, such that I don't notice I'm doing it most of the time. I'm in it right now because I'm just sitting here surfing RU-vid :-) By asking, you've made me want to reach this video. I'll report back...
Feeling this way has been apart of my life for the last 3 years and It’s been a straight feeling in my belly. One doesn’t realize that, this feeling is your soul trying to change and wake up. your ego is not wanting to accept this change. Something that has/is helping me, is working on my inner self. Working on my inner self like silencing my ego, becoming humble and not taking things personal, along with shadow work. This is the process of a soul awakening. Idk, I suppose I found a way to embrace this “emptiness”, or whatever is happening, which i believe is change, all in all. This has given me purpose to help others in this world wake up more, seeing the world for what it really is and to think more for about others. It can be very difficult to see the positivity in this world today, but it can be positive. Learning to Be happy for others is key. All the answers are inside of everyone. I hope this helps someone. Everyone is important in this world. Most people don’t realize this, but it’s a fact that we are all connected and share the same kind of energy. Learn patience with your self and others. Think before you speak to others. Be nice and be kind, ALWAYS!! If you can’t find it to say anything nice, then don’t say it. It will only make one feel worse in the long run. Always Take the high road. This is my personal advice and where it is a great place to start in order to help one’s self to feel better and more positive. I mean, We are all in this together. :):)
I’ve always been numb, but never to this degree after 3 consecutive years of emotional traumatic events. I strongly have every single identifier mentioned and have all the problems that have evolved because of the numbness. I’m breaking down from this. It’s like finally! Someone has articulated everything so perfectly. Never have I ever felt more understood. This has just potentially saved my life.
This is how I feel right now... I felt nothing and lazy... I used to be a creative person but now I'm bored at every thing I do... Thanks a lot for your effort.
Underneath boredom, I've usually found a belief saying "what's the point?" It's quite often this belief that needs to be examined. Thanks so much for sharing 🙏
When the "irritation" symptom came up, I just had to pause the video and laugh in desbelief (and relief) about how you could describe so perfectly such a personal experience. I've been living like this since I was 6 or 7. Sometimes, maybe once or twice a year, I would have these immensely emotional dreams (like, for example, a deep feeling of love), which I took meant that the emotional machinery inside me wasn't broken, it was just walled off. However I did see this wall as me being broken and been trying so hard to fight it. Thank you for letting me know that's not the way I should go about this. It's good to know that I'm valid about experiencing this and I'm not a psycophatic un-empathetic monster.
So glad the insights are helping. Of course there is nothing broken within you. Nothing that some support and understanding wouldn't help. True for us all I feel.
hey Dr.David i haven't realized am emotionally numb for a long time then in this two years i have realized am "emotinally numb". i have talked what i feel (almost all things you have stated on the video what emotional numbness looks like) to my close friend and my sister but they couldn't understand my feeling...i just thought it as my personality for long time...i didnt know it is a problem and other people know about it well as a concept. am very excited when you tell all about emotional numbness . i will practice what you have said...thank you sooo much really. i think am gonna be alive again... big love from Ethiopia.
I'm so confused. I'm crying listening to this even though I don't actually *feel* anything? I'm only about halfway through, but this is a really good explanation of what I've been experiencing lately. I sought out trauma therapy about a month ago ready to process emotions surrounding early life trauma in hopes that it would help with my anxiety/hyperarousal issues. Then my body was like, "Actually, you can't do that because we're just going to shut your emotions down so you don't have access to them." It makes no sense. So now I've just been going to my appointments trying to fake feelings I'm not really experiencing. Going to keep listening and see if any of your tips will help me snap out of this state.
Ive been doing EMDR and integrated psychotherapy with trauma therapist for over 2 years severe cptsd, have built safety with them and animals few friends things seemed to be improving a bit using somatic exercises, singing, breathwork, very trauma informed but I feel more numb, I am talking to the therapist about it but I feel shutdown and protective against more loss, loss has been a huge theme. I feel nothing and too much at the same time. I feel like the dissociation that protected me is wasting so much of my time. Friends and family don't understand I try not to seem miserable. It is very lonely thank you I will try your hearing with it suggestion
David, just want you to know that this is hands-down the best video on youtube about dissociation. I've watched it multiple times and every single time I watch it it makes me feel so much better. Keep it up.
I feel emotionally numb and have since November. Usually I have a lot of ups and downs, I will feel extremely depressed then I’ll come up and feel fine, not really happy but fine. October was the worst depressive episodes I’ve had and now.. I don’t feel anything. I’ve told my therapist but she just reassures me that I’ll eventually feel ok but I’m terrified I won’t. I just want to feel anything. Anything at all.
Don't lose hope. A full range of emotion will return when the nervous system feels safe to allow it. Start to see the numbness as, not a void, but something in its own right. Something that should be respected and given attention and care. You 're not alone in this and healing is possible.
Check your vitamin D as you said in October you had more bad depression in that month weather get cold slowly and it can be because of vitamin D deficiency
Bloody hell. I'm currently 33 years old. Lost my mother at age 13. I have lived my life since then, and have been in two relationships so far, last one ended november past year, after almost 10 years. She said to me that she never really felt like I loved her. We always had these fights because I have always been terrible with emotions, nevermind showing them. Now it actually makes a bit of sense to me. I have been living in dissociation since my mother's death 20 years ago. And it has destroyed my life entirely. I have never had goals for myself, never felt real pleasure on anything in life, never enjoyed going out with friends or whatever. Having to meet family members is something I do out of obligation only. I barely have any memories of my life at all. I don't really remember my childhood. I can scarcely remember moments of my life. I always thought it was ok to not feel anything, because that's how I've always been.
After growing up as a scapegoat in my early years within the family system and experiencing trauma in my teen yrs I now realise I've been numbed out my whole life. I felt drawn to work on this issue over the past 2 weeks and I took extensive notes of everything discussed here to bring to my therapist. Excellent video 👍👍👍
I went through a very similar childhood as scapegoat, that just seemed to continue into adulthood Started seeking help of sorts now and again. Later on after trying to single parent, two divorces things pretty much didn't improve. Later on sought regular talk therapy, yet still no better at 65 yrs. Looking into Neurofeedback to start this week, hope it helps. Need to feel joy, have interests and put this numbness to rest!!!
I've been trying for such a long time to understand why nothing has felt important or significant, Feeling like somthing was really wrong or had been lost, but not being able to fully articulate what. I used to love being around people, singing and making music but feel like I've lost all connection and joy, and it all takes more energy than it creates. I want to live a full life where things stand out rather than just passing by. Thank you so much for helping me understand emotional dissociation :) Its such a relief to understand myself better. All the best to you :)
I’ve felt broken for so long…It’s been an uphill climb. I’m sincerely grateful for your words confirming that I’m among a host of people in this boat, and am not alone.
I think you have finally nailed it for me. I've been wondering why I forget most things? why i find it difficult being around anyone and have nothing to say. Am I socially awkward, an introvert shy or just socially inept? But all these things did not relate in reality. Experiences seem few and far between. I think I have been living with since 9 years of age... I'm now in my 40's. It's been a long haul but hopefully i can start the process of healing. Many, many thanks for your insight Dr Maloney.
Love you comment Lee. Maybe think about what was missing for that 9 year old. See if what he wanted can be provided at this point. That's been the journey for many of us.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy there have been many things but when my dad is in the army and move every 3 years. that was a repetitive cycle. make friends, lose friends. on a 3 year cycle. eat sleep die repeat. then you compound adult issues. deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole we go. but people see the merrit in me. now its my turn. i believe in myself in my head... i just dont feel the belief. i think now is the time to trust in my friends
Dr. Maloney has provided me a deep insight into dissociation. I had been suffering from derealization for over an year; and the mere acknowledgement of the emotional numbness have enriched me with moments of joy, as if a curtain of depression lifting and me experiencing a spectrum of emotions. May God bless you and your healing endeavors!
Hi Shalini. Thank you so much for your feedback! I am thrilled that you are able to validate the experience and see it as something to be acknowledged as legitimate, real, and of value.
It was really helpful. Particularly when u made me realise that I'm not broken....the nervous system has shut down because it feels it's not safe to feel those emotions...this really relieved the pressure that something wrong is happening to me....i think it's very important to make the person feel that it's normal and not an issue... society has labelled these as mental issues but it's a normal defences mechanism...i can't tell you how free I felt after hearing that...thnks a lot.
I have been suffering from emotional numbness for 2 years. I believe the reason behind it is being in a toxic relationship ( which I decided to give up) and being under stress for a long time ( at university). What I am trying to do now is to train myself and deal with stress at university in a more positive way and change my perception of it. Thank you for your helpful advice!
Huge Thanks from a Lady who's felt this way for close to 50 years, l don't remember it ever leaving me. You gave me the permission l needed to be with my numbness, it's been shouting continuously for my love and attention. Of course l've always tried to avoid the numbness and my body in general it seems, I've always thought l was broken or got something wrong with it. Those beliefs were always just below the surface of my consciousness. Thank goodness l found your fabulous video. You've validated my experience, through this new knowledge l have hope my internal life, thoughts and feelings can come back to me in the regular way. I'm not sure what that will feel like but l think l know how I can get there. So grateful for you help.
What a great comment. Thank you for this! My next video may also be of interest as it addresses this issue in a lot of depth. Something I always try to remember is that while we can admit to ourselves that 'something feels wrong' we should not extend that to 'something is wrong with me'. Numbness is a subtle one as we often fail to validate it as we would other emotions. But it's just as valid and worthy of our focus and attention 🙏
I don't feel anything except the pain. I'm going to the gym everyday for year's and I've built a massive physique and power. I use my pain and my anger to destroy my workouts. Recently I met a beautiful woman but I can't even feel something and she's so nice to me. I don't know what to do. Also sometimes I like to create scenarios in my mind very dark and I use them in training. It's like I've a dark passenger and he wants to come out when I feel pain, anger, disappointment.
Update: I'm feeling super strong right now, I'm eating 6 meal's every day, finally I'm with a person who can understand me and I can be myself. I just feeling healthy in my mind and body. I'm feeling really good and to be honest guy's sex really helps to manage stress and you know I'm feeling very calm and everything is more clear now. Finally I'm FEELING something 🙏🏻
10min in and I'm experiencing 8 out of 11 of these. In my country mental health is so expensive and we have a high unemployment rate so thank you for this. I was starting to feel suicidal because I'm tired of feeling numb.
Thank you for helping me feel better about not knowing how I feel. So many times people ask me how I feel about a situation or something else that I haven't analyzed yet and it makes me stressed and uncomfortable because I genuinely don't know how I feel a majority of the time
It’s true, it’s hard for me to understand why I cant tell what I’m feeling. Still I’m able to feel joy, pain, sorrow when it comes to others but sometimes it’s not in the spot it takes time. When it comes to compliments I don’t feel anything I take it as it is, say thx and move on. My boss asked me, are you happy? I’m here to make sure you get the support you need. My response was thx, however I did not feel anything. I guess it varies from person to person but overall I think we are stuck in survival and maybe hopelessness, I think 🤔 I’m now becoming aware that my trauma has caused me to just look into my life but not be apart of it. Life itself scares me, since I’ve never felt that I had dreams, goals or aspirations.
After a year of shielding with parents with Aspergers, in the pandemic, in a remote hamlet, I am definitely suffering from some of this....I've hardly seen anyone in a year, not working, tried to self entertain day and night, but I'm totally any utterly exhausted mentally and emotionally now. Loss of touch, warmth, hugs is one of my biggest things I'm struggling with and speaking/engaging. Yoir voice is so non threatening...I wish I could walk with you and create some sort of life again. Thank you for what you're doing, it's so needed.
Hi Jackie. What you're going through in so human. Embrace your humanity and allow yourself to feel this way. We tend to have a 'fix it' mentality regarding our emotions. But, given the year we've all had, I think it's the most natural thing in the world to want human contact and companionship. We also need to stay hopeful. Life has one guarantee: things always change.
Im emotionally numb since then, I got it from family trauma experience. As an adult its not really easy on creating relationship but Im willing to improve on this situation. I just dont know how to start it but time gave me a little improvement since then😢. Thank you for letting this understand our situation
Man u made me cry at the moment u mention that it is caused by childhood trauma coz I had a very discouraging life in my childhood to the point I ended being a street child for about six months, each day not knowing how I will get food,where I will sleep n.k and that was up to 2009 where my life started to change and live good life as other children. I started to experience dissociation since I became aware of myself as adult but didn't know what is it even without telling my parents until this year 2021 where it started showing some social impacts like I have lost friends .I struggled a lot with it untill today where u made me very aware of what really dissociation is
Isiaka, thank you for sharing this story. Given the adversity you've been through, it's little wonder the nervous system has had to adapt as the survivor it is. Take care and keep me posted on your recovery.
Thank you for this. I´m numb for a very long time now. Can´t really remember how it is without. To let the numbness be as it is sounds intuitively very true. Have a good day whoever is reading this.
I’m so happy i found this video this really helped me this past month i have been feeling very anxious scared and all-around not good from knowing I have to go back to school and my great grandma who is starting to pass I got so overwhelmed I’d wake up with that weird feeling in my chest I was suffering from severe depression and then one day I woke up and found that I felt nothing i thought i was broken i felt like nothing had meaning to it anymore.
Oh. Just learning about this. I am 50 years old. I’ve scored 9+ of those 11 for 40+ years - I don’t remember much but it seems I don’t remember not being like this. F@#k. My immediate thought, and what I’ve been thinking, is that I am broken, so thanks for explaining that it’s not a matter of being broken.
Thank you David I did not realise that what I have been experiencing is actually dissociation I just thought it was emotional numbness… I realised I’ve been out tune with others , not able to see or perceive reality or consciously remember things I’ve done and the emotional effect it’s had on other people etc .. it’s so true about emotions being your guidance system and I just want my guidance system back. I don’t like operating in a slightly narcissistic disconnected way and I want empathy for others and to be able to connect to Mother Nature and my Truth and I want to show up as an authentic person , because our emotions show us our boundaries and our true feelings :( I’m looking forward to getting to know myself again.
I've been dealing with betrayals, neglect, rejection, and over all a relationship where I have been treated like I have no priority in my husband's life, and it has been 30 years of all of this. I have found disconnecting stops the pain. I thought for a long time that my ability to push the memories somewhere in a box locked away was a great skill I had. But I've gotten so used to living just to provide and survive that now when special occasions happen that I should be excited about, I have a hard time feeling anything. This is when I realize there is something wrong. When I also can't enjoy life.
It's like that for many of us Roberta. We realize that what protected us in the past may now be preventing complete expression. It's a process that's perfectly normal.
Your diagnostic for symptoms is so accurate, thank you. for almost 2 years I don't feel the beauty of things, not enjoying almost anything in life. I'll reengage with my emotions hope this will help me see the world differently.
Over time I slowly stoped caring for my orchids and stoped going to the orchid guild meetings. Sleeping is a difficult issue for me and is getting worse!!! I stoped feeling joy and well.... stoped feeling anything. I started pulling my hair out because the pain is some sort of something!!! Absolutely did start questioning why im here, especially because I am disabled. I hate this so very much 😣!!! I just want to be me again!!! Wish i could snap my fingers and me again!!! I do have a therapist but ur video has helped me understand my situation even more. Thank you for the advice and helping me understand what my nervous system is doing.
Thank you for this video - calmly explaining the 'symptoms' of dissociation emotional numbness. coming onto 3 years of therapy now I am working on feeling the 'difficult' emotions and it is such a weird and foreign activity
Well done on the commitment you've made. Little by little, the defensive posture of the Nervous System relaxes, allowing us to feel safely. Patience and compassion are our best assets here.
The morden family situation has caused many emotional problems, it's the connection with your mother father brothers and sisters and other families that cause numbness. Friends come and go but when family is broken or dysfunctional its can cause emotional illness. If your family is good then the culprit is MEDIA over Load, pretentious ego can damage you and others when we cannot achieve for ourselves.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy I actually read the entire thing just now. I guess the only emotional need that is being met in my life is "reflection" (help lol) I often think that I have no needs at all but that is bullshit isn't it, they are "simply" constantly being surpressed, presumably because I don't believe anyone is going to meet them (consistently, in my experience anyways). It's been so long and I'm really considering medication at this point, even though the cause for this numbness is entirely found in my outside world, or like you say, the "defective" story I told myself a few hundred times..
@@katenka_ana3997 thanks for your feedback. Yes, our story determines how we meet the emotional needs. If we learned from outside that our needs are not important, we internalize this. Our role is to question and see through this narrative. It's not true!
thank you so much David! I've been living with numbness for 18 years, and this was the most helpful video I've ever seen! I will start to allow myself to feel this numbness for what it is
I'm now 38 and 5-6 months ago I realised I have been disassociating since I was around 5-6 years old..looking back at all my childhood photos there is no life behind my eyes and I look lost..and I have had a feeling of being lost all my life..I can walk to the shop and "(wake up)" 3-4 miles away where I have been just a zombie walking with a forgotten destination for up to 1h there about!! It is now becoming a real big issue in my life!!
I have never been moved by children but as recent to 5 years ago i had a full set of emotions. These days rarely have an emotional reaction except for rage or sorrow. I have been looking for a reason to live for the last 3 years.
Thank you David for creating this video, it has really hit home for me. After making drastic changes in my life with no real reasoning behind it, I have discovered I am and have been for quite some time emotionally numb. It is now a daily struggle, motivation is 0, the constant questioning of will this be permanent, why live if I can’t feel the enjoyment and happiness life has to offer. I’m only just starting my recovery journey and am already aware of what has caused my disassociation. I’m deeply hopefully I will return to my once happy and joyful self.
Question probably sounds weird but I don't get sad or empathetic when people tell me there problems or what they went through in life. I won't even shed tears, but when I watch anime I get emotional, and that's the only time when I feel sorry, sad, and empathy. It scares me because they aren't even real people there just characters.
it is because you are actually watching what is happening and are therefore exposed to it so you feel empathy on a deeper level. if you say witnessed something awful happening to your friend you would probably feel their same emotions and cry. also when watching shows you see the main character all the time and understand the context better so therefore feel more empathy
Thank you... this is more helpful than all of the videos I've watched on dissociation combined. Your info makes me not feel alone, but more importantly, it gives me hope! So, just thank you..
Tbh , I’m ok with being emotionally numb. I’m tired of getting hurt so I involuntarily shut down and detached from my feelings and locked my heart up. And honestly I embrace feeling nothing , logically I’m sharper than ever and I’m cool with that
I see that, there are some benefits to it. To me the only reason I want to stop is because it affects social skills. Being numb makes my voice and expressions flat, and there's less connection with those around me. Then again when there is connection there is the potential of getting hurt.
I’ve been emotionally numb for 2 & a half years… after a bad breakup, where I got attached really quickly… , my mental health got really bad, Crying hard every night just to be able to sleep, constant anxiety day-to-day, physical pain without anything really being wrong 6 & a half months straight… I turned to bad coping mechanisms to just feel something again after a few months of being numb
I searched for physical abuse on your channel and this is the first result that appeared so I'll ask another question here. Do you think someone can completely process/get over the effects of physical abuse without learning how to defend themselves physically? In my case, I think I have this sense of vulnerability, frailty and weakness because I know other people knew it was ok to take advantage of me this way, because they saw me as physically impotent, especially parents, who projected their weakness onto me... If so or not, could you make a video on this? Also, I think I have this because I'm a guy and there is an expectation to "be a man" when confronted with the threat of physical violence or pain in general (of course, some threats are beyond any average person, but I'm talking about something like a potentially abusive peer at work or in society in general). Thanks! Love your work as always.
Thanks for sharing this video! I’ve been struggling with this for I don’t know how long and now is the time to change this and get in touch with my emotions again. Wish you all a great recovery on your journey!
This informative video immediately gained me as a subscriber! I’ll remain on pins & needles to learn myself better, which is extremely important as I’m in the process of rebuilding myself following my near fatal MVA that caused my stroke, TBI, and many broken bones as well. Unfortunately I’ve also been struggling to live happy due to my extremely functioning anxiety that also includes freighting panic attacks that get very scary when most of my panic attacks have landed me in the ER due to me actually passing out cold due to the hyperventilating! I pray this channel will help me to understand all this better and help me to become free of these terrifying panic attacks
Thank you very much for this very informative video! I think that's exactly what's going on from what I saw. It made me feel a lot better and calmer to know more about the issue. A while ago, I stopped feeling all kinds of physical reaction to my emotions, as if my mind is disconnected from my body. It all started because I was getting constantly anxious and scared about potentially having a serious heart disease and started paying too much attention to it over a period of three weeks, even though my exams didn't detect anything, I was still worried and thinking about the worse and then all of a sudden, I stopped feeling any physical sensations relating to my emotions like tightness or a rush of "cold" in the chest when you're anxious, scared or excited. I also stopped feeling all kinds of emotions in my body, both positive and negative and even my own perception pf my heartbeat has been affected, because it seems fainter even when I'm exercising and it's fast. It feels like everything is numb inside, as if I can't feel anything at all, even doing things I like don't cause the same response as before. I saw you talking about how our nervous systems can less awareness of some physical sensations when it detects we are in danger, so could it be that this "fainter" perception of my own heartbeat (even when it's fast after I exercise) be a reaction of this? Since it was my constant anxiety and me paying too much attention to it that has triggered this numbness in the first place. Could it be it's my brain wanting to protect me from feeling it, from worrying too much about it?
Thanks, buddy your video is of tremendous help and I felt like someone understood me. I was suffering from this disorder for quite a long time and I was feeling depressed.Would definitely implement all of your suggestions ✌🏻
This was very helpful. I struggled for years. I thought I had to force myself to get in touch with my feelings in order to fix my disassociation. I only ended up more frustrated. Its a good reminder that I'm not broken and needing to be fixed. I also took up traditional yoga to help calm the body and mind. Its been helpful. But ill say be aware of the styles you choose. Especislly in the western world, there is yoga mixed with aerobics taught as fitness yoga. It's a "no pain no gain" or instant gratification. Nothing wrong with that but I don't think you'll get the benefits and it misses the point of yoga. Traditional yoga or meditation isn't about fighting or judging emotions. It's about slowing down and bringing awareness. A Hindu bramacharini told me that meditation is like experiencing emotions similar to watching clouds pass by. Don't fight it. Or judge. Just observe. Experience. And now I realize that its ok to experience numbness or feel that.