"Feeling" Asian American and looking Asian American are two very different things. He could sound like he's entirely assimilated when he opens his mouth, but women obviously won't be able to detect that while swiping through his photos. He's got to look the part to resonate with the target demographic that he's seeking to attract. FOB women generally prefer more of the softer, flower-boy look compared to the rugged machismo of American masculinity. The ABGs are probably more inclined to date either the f-boy Asians or outside of their race.
In many (not all) cases, FOB women can be more interesting and have a mind of their own, as opposed to some Asian American women, who care so much about white validation and social hierarchy based on race, that they’ve built their entire identity based around that need (without even realizing it). Some FOB women can be great. Some Asian American women can be great. Just look for authenticity and chemistry.
Went on a blind-date with a Chinese girl who moved to the US after finishing college, so has a lot of the traditional characteristics while embracing living in the US, Americana, and Americanisms. Still with her 20+ years later happily married.
As a fob woman myself, I was sooooo prepared to get mad at this video lol, but, I honestly enjoyed your viewpoints and observations! Anyways, I hope he accepts who he really is and finds what he wants!
As an ABC (American Born Chinese), I feel offended on those rare occasions when any of my fellow ABCs use the term FOB in a negative sense. I hope you realize he is the exception not the rule. Most ABC males have a favorable view of females from the "motherland". I kind of wonder if there is some phenomenon that even though we are born and raised in the United States, we still somehow have traits as if we had been raised in the motherland. When I watched Asian dramas, I was astonished at how similar I ended up becoming to the male protagonists in Asian dramas (6 feet tall, lanky, sharp facial features, top student in the class, a "wholesome" vibe like the quiet guy in Meteor Garden, etc. that is common in Chinese dramas in particular) even though I had never set foot in Asia. Goes to show that how we turn out is partly genetics and partly environment.
I'm ABC, but I totally prefer a girl from the motherland (wherever that may be) who is in touch with her native culture, and can speak her native language. If someone is not close to her ancestral heritage, it’s a non-starter for me. That said, the non-American born Chinese girls in my area are usually highly educated though, with at least MBAs from Ivy Leagues, so they are hard to get.
ofc you might as well just go with a white woman if you dating "ABC", even ABC women realize it and that's the point they are white washed and don't like their own men in the first place.
Easy fix for profile: "I like to spend my free time fixing and working on my Chevy truck. Occasionally take Long rides on my Harley Davidson sportster to get good fried chicken." "Looking for someone to go on bread and milk runs to Whole Foods and try frozen foods from Trader Joes."
Why do Asian men have to cater to westernized/white washed Asian women or women in general? That's being super fake. Also, Chevy and the big 3 are absolutely trash and HD is well know wRacist. A lifted Toyota with 33s and a Nissan GTR or Lexus GSF would be a flex. None of this really matters because OP is an idi0t where there's nothing wrong with "FOBs".
I only ever used CMB and I matched with 4 women that went anywhere. 3 were Chinese-American and one was really FOBy. She came from Hong Kong when she was 13, but she still spoke with a heavy accent, consumed Cantonese media almost exclusively and most of her friends were equally FOBy and they spoke mostly Cantonese with each other. It was hard for me culturally since I am a Mandarin speaker (and not super well). The 4th girl I matched with was black and oddly enough she was the one that I married.
It sounds like you found the perfect match, I think we most connect with others more on a personality level anyway. Wishing you the best of luck with your life bro.
I’m a FOB but I’m way more American than my ABCJ wife. She grew up only watching Asian shows, movies, and music in SoCal. I grew up in Texas after moving here from China at the age of 9.
Nothing wrong with that. Recognize dating apps do have their shortcomings. It's more a strength than anything. Nothing bad about having a woman from the home country. lol Wd should not take mismatching personally. Men are prone to receive rejection just as women. Social Engineering is not a problem once you figure out how to navigate through the dating scene.
Nothing wrong with fob women. They mature well and are generally more conservative in upbringing while still maintaining a strong sense of feminine beauty and culture. Westernized asian women and especially abgs tend to focus more on aesthetics, status and only tend to go for Kevin nguyens or white guys anyway.
It’s opposite for me. I’m more of an Americanized Asian. I only can speak English. I grew up with Mexican and white friends. I’m slightly muscular with tattoos. I listen to Hip Hop, RnB and EDM. I do hip hop dances when I go to a concert. My track record with women are white, latina, and SEA. Lots of love from black women too but I only dated a half black woman before. I do good on Hinge, but I do NOT so good on CMB. I am looking for an EA FOB woman but only match with ABGs or Southeast Asians. FOB women do not like me. It’s probably because I don’t have a white color job or anything that FOB women care about. I have a fancy car but currently am renting a studio. I’m average height. My face appeals more to the western world I think too. I am also from the bay
Nothing wrong with fob …I am AA but lived in Asia growing up (speak canto and mandarin) so I often get mistaken for fob 😂…and don’t relate a lot with AAs…you guys are hilarious btw, great video!! And totally agree with Canadian Asian girls vs AA (lived in both)
Idk if the whole women dating men who are more American thing is necessarily true. In my friend group, plenty of married couples feature a man who is more Chinese. One of my friends is Chinese-American (although I am told that her Cantonese is really good) and she is married to a FOBy guy.
What's wrong with FOB women? No offense but I think FOB women and Asian Asian women are oftentimes more suitable for Asian American or Asian Canadian men than Asian American/Asian Canadian women.
It might be a foreign effect. Idk. I'm Asian Canadian but love the FOBS (not the snobby rich ones though. Rich is ok, just not the snobby kind with their ferrari in their profile) I think it's more just 'it's different, that's cool' And yeah, I am from Vancouver. I feel called out lool I loooove chinese classics like hanfu, erhu etc. I also love country songs!
You guys are making this waaay too complicated. It has nothing to do with any of the stuff you guys are talking about, sports, being buff, clothing, haircuts. I’m sure the guy must have indicated that he’s Asian American. The fact is obvious and you’ll know it this. Most Asian American girls prefer white men for access and status. For a FOB girl or whatever you guys call non-American born Asian girls, an American born Asian guy is an upgrade for her. I’m sure the FOB girl would prefer the white guy too, but being foreign born the cultural difference is wider. The American born Asian girl is more culturally aligned with the white guy, she just has an Asian body. She most likely grew up in white neighborhoods, attended white schools and overall tried to grow up as white as possible.
No.. that's what they think. If they grew up in an Asian household, their culture is never close to white people. They prefer to eat Asian foods with addiction, materialistic, money driven, no realistic hobbies, take shoes off in the house, have other Asian friends etc. They just like to date white men. Many times, they can't even fit in with white women.
I dont know if you are girls or not. but you're obviously underestimating how easy an Asian girl can get a white boyfriend if she wants, no matter how fobby she is. The personality is the key. I have at least 3 fob friends ended up marrying white guys after they couldn't find 'the type of Asian guys' they want. One of them just came to here 3 years ago.
Are you even a fob or international? Or are you one of those white liberals saying something is racist when it’s not? Asian communities in American have always called them fobs. I don’t think it’s racist when we’re the same ethnicity.
It is sad that people are not able to respect each other, but are quick to stereotype (even within their own ethnicity). There is nothing as 'social engg.'. It is pure greed.
These discussions seems a shallow now lol, why do we need to categorize ppl, ppl are ppl.being American is an attitude, not what you wear nor your haircut lmao
@@daisyliu7247 I don't think its my face. I think that I attract non-Asian women and Americanized women because of my personality and my pursuit of my hobbies and interests.
The dating applications have serious errors. 😖 My short Mexican 🇲🇽 friend would never have married his tall gringa wife if a dating application was used! 😖
Has he ever thought that maybe FOB girls are more okay with dating Asian guys compared to Asian American women? Remember that Asian men have a stereotype in this country! 🤣
I used to get panda express when I could but the past few years the prices have gone way up and the portions have gone way down. Today if I want chinese, I'd hit up a hole in the wall mom and pop restaurant. The last combo meal I got gave me a ton of food for a few days.. lol we talking about food or ladies?
i know guys who look nerdy but they arent nerdy at all. they just dont care about their looks and broke. they dont even do a well in school or have a nerdy career but look nerdy
Lovely video guys! europe is way behind america, here asians from different heritage are all the same target group "the asians" or "china" we dont have that multiple stages of western asians yet. Btw asian women that date white or non asian men probably had very negative experiences with asians like all ppl do experience from their own culture but yes western mentality drives us closer together
@@moondog7694 hate against asians for example, here it's mostly the traditional "europeans" mentality that puts all Asians in one boat, more crazy is that the Turks which were called to rebuild europe are hated by the same westerners
Unless she is from Queens New York I don't want to deal with American anything I want the real deal from wherever, and I'm not technically Asian I'm just mistaken for one and that's all right by me
Someone's making a thing out of a thing that isn't a thing. Chill out bro Also it's true, Vancouver is big enough of an enclave and has enough Chinese to popularize Chinese music and culture 🙌
It's just a culture thing that they want from the other side. You have to know if they are 1st geration or 2nd generation that are born in america. 3rd generation are very Americanized and very fluent. 1 and 2 will likely want to go back to their culture. 3 will not know anything of it anymore and will just adapt to what is offered.
As a Canadian Korean woman living in Vancity, when I was online dating, I was getting many white guys being shown and I heard that was all algorithm. What's up with that?
@minimalistmin The algorithm used is a primitive form of A.I. - it collates a massive trove of information on this topic, then make deductions and conclusions based on the data. What it shows - is that Asian girls in the Western world have a high level of preference for white guys. Analogy: If you are running a business, its only natural that you focus on the demographic that gives you the highest return on your investment.
I was just telling my half Filipino son about this. FOB women are after the American dream. They are more interested in stable men, which is clearly his vibe. They don't want to be derailed by someone who's just playing because they ain't playing. Also, this guy looks like he needs a FOB women. NGL.
Internationals are not stable to date. They maybe students or on work visas, so they can up and leave due to visa problems within a year of two (moving for school or jobs) or straight up returning to home country. They're very pretty, so play with them, but know that a lot in the relationship is out of your hand. The stars would have to align for it to end in marriage and family. it's mostly a glorified situationship dating an international.
A haole friend wanted an FOB girl from Tokyo. I think because he "thought" she was subservient. But after they were married and came to the USA, she totally changed on him. Now, who's the boss? 😂
It's very typical of Japanese girls to put on a meek and cute personality because of culture but once they get married and become mothers, the horns come out.
When I was younger in HI as a hapa guy, I always preferred FXB women over local/American Asxxn chicks. If I think back even when it comes to whxtx women, I would find various individual girls attractive based on interacting with them and whatnot, but I never had any kind of specific fxtish or strong preference for them, but if I think back how I felt about Eurxpxxn women from Eurxpx, that was always way more exciting and appealing to me. I think the reason is not just the exotic effect or xenophilia, but specifically because America doesn't really promote itself as having any kind of culture. (Hip hop culture which I've never liked is basically Year Zero state ideology-mandated nxtional culture, and everything before that is rxcxst and reactionary according to almost everything coming out of the television box and radio.) So Old World versions of any group are automatically more attractive, and have always felt like people who actually come from a distinct culture with a nxtional character and collective soul of sorts. So whxtx American women and Asxxn American women have always felt to me like sort of quasi-soullxss versions of their Old World counterparts, as if they have the meat and hardware and everything else physically the same, but there's no culture or soul there in comparison, so it's always like some kind of downgrade. (Of course, all this would apply in reverse towards men as well if I was a girl with some sort of girl version of my own personality and worldview.) Even the way people are categorized in the US and Americas is along the lines of skxn cxlxr, which is the most superficial and inconsequential thing imaginable, to the point that a lot of blxck identitarian activists actually base all of their worldview about discrimination towards skxn cxlxr and none of it towards gxnetics, and most of them actually think that whxtx people view Afrxcxns exactly the same as Indians if they have the same skxn cxlxr, or that a lxght-skxnned Afrxcxn would be preferred by most rxcxst whxtx people over a dxrk-skxnned Indian, when neither of those two hypotheticals are actually the case. (If someone was a hardcore rxcx science enthusiast and/or eugxnxcist, they could make a case for how skxn cxlxr can function as a basic proxy for certain other traits like K-selection gxnxtic bottlenecks leading to lxrgxr brxxns, higher impxulsx control, etc. to make a case for cxlxrism as a near-universal cultural instinct [except in Sub-Sxhxrx], but the blxcktivist singular focus on skxn cxlxr is extremely self-deluding in thinking that everything is literally about that.) American society is materialistic to the core, and just breaks people down to the outermost, extremely superficial/inconsequential, aspect of their physical appearance that says the least about their gxnxtics or soul (even if you go into rxcx science, skxll shxpx probably says far more, but is still nothing compared to actual gxnxtxc sequences themselves). Asians for a variety of reasons (being latecomers way after most of the cxlxr terminology was cemented for one thing) have always been the most resistant to being classified by skxn cxlxr and being called yxllxw (which one can think of negative connotations for; but so can you for blxck, whxtx, or brxwn), similar to native Americans rejecting rxd (although recently many have begun buying into the wxke idea of blxck and brxwn people unitey against whxtxy), while Sub-Sxhxrxns are by far the most proud and embracing of it, basing their entire identity and worldview around it. I think the main reason for that rejection is that when you say a word like "Asxxn," "Eurxpxxn," or even "Afrxcxn," you think of a continent or region, and all of the historical traditional cultures associated with that region instantly, and Asxxns are the most proud and unashamed of their home countries' cultures (especially because there's no room for authentic, non-materialist/consumerist culture in the US, so that's sort of an idealized image to retreat to). Whereas Afrxcxns would rather avoid thinking about the state of Afrxcx and instead be stuck in the period from 1619 to 1960s North America forever playing it on loop until the end of time while Chxnx and Rxssxx are building megacities on Mars and whatnot. And in that context, whxtx people have been brow-bxxtxn into submission into also being stuck in that time frame forever as pressure from the lxft erxsxng their cultural identity, while also being shamed out of embracing anything Eurxpxxn by the rxght who are still stuck hundreds of years ago defining themselves in opposition to Eurxpx rather than as something deeply related to it, treating everything Eurxpxxn as bourgie champagne sxcialists (as if pre-immxgrxtxxn Paris is their entire image of Europe), and then also mandating everyone define themselves in terms of Chrxstianity which does not allow whxtx people to have any kind of ethnxc idxntity other than Christian (whereas for blxcks it has the polar opposite ethnxc policy, somehow), which is the only identity (or non-identity, rather) that's allowed to supersede American non-identity and be above it in any way for that rxcxxl group in specific (based on the parameters they've given themselves, alongside extreme pressure from blxcks to keep them confined there). So America is caught between blxck and whxtx identity politics of anti-meritocratic/anti-reality (specific-/certain-)minoritarian sxprxmxcy vs. basic founding-majority assxmxlationism you'd find in any other much more normal part of the world (with that dichotomy present on both the lxft and rxght, where both blxck and whxtx identities have to both be confined to the parameters of neo-Mxxxism or Chrxstianity respectively, but in both cases tend towards extreme blxck in-group preference and extreme whxtx out-group preference) Thus, America is not allowed to have any kind of culture other than materialism, consumerism, GDP charts, infxnxtx immxgrxtxxn of totally random people with zero vetting or even attempts at assxmxlxtion of any kind, and Year Zero hip hop anxrcho-txrxnny nihilistic vxxlxnt fxrxl hedonism. And if you think about it, people in Asxx and Eurxpx who highly value their culture would not want to move to the US for work, marriage, etc. generally, the least materialistic people. It's always the most materialistic Asxxns and Eurxpxxns who usually want to move or marry into the US specifically for economic reasons mainly, almost never cultural (unless they like hip hop culture for some weird reason, in which case their likelihood of being financially successful or passing their gxnxs on is extremely low compared to those who aren't attracted to that culture). Even most Asxxns who have vanilla fever would rather go to Europe than the US if culture matters more to them and they don't mind being pxxr or below average, and I guess same for Eurxpxxns who like any particular ethnxc group; they'd rather go to that other part of the world than the US, and if they come to the US it's almost always for economic reasons, and if it is something cultural, it's usually more temporary, like to sample all the different groups of the world and see which ones they like the most (or finding out they actually dislxke certain ones even if they didn't expect to dislxke anyone).
I read all of this because it was really insightful. Summary. The American culture is not very attractive. We do have other lesser known genre of music that are distinctively American. Country and Christian alternative/rock. I think we do have a distinct culture. We have Thanksgivng and we just celebrated the 4thof July which symbolizes both American Christian and patriotic culture but we also have lots of diverse culture holidays.St. Patrick's Day and St. Valentine's Day, Labor Day Octoberfest and many more for diverse groups of people. You are right about Christianty as a culture value. Originally I dont think the founding fathers wanted diversity but America's culture is quickly becoming just "diversity" instead of Christianity and patriotism. The problem is that it is being herald in by a lot of anti-American sentiments. That happens when diverse groups of people really dont like their homeland and other people in it.
