Why do Narcissists stay loyal to these people 

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They are loyal to one another because narcissism is a team sport … Stay blessed survivors..

Birds of the same feather stick together. The narc will defend and be loyal to those ones who don't correct them. Also they doesn't see their spouse as a friend or family in the first place. Just an object to be used. That's why your loyalty shouldn't be with them.

Narcissist are not alone! But their victim is alone.

They give priority to their friends and family. You're not even on their priority list. Yet, they call you when they need help. They remove you from all family activities. Like you're no one. You don't deserve someone like that.

19 years in this demonic cult situation in order to protect my son. He’ll be legal in 10 months, off to college in a little over a year…….pray for us folks, we will be free from this PRISON!!!! It’s been a KOOLAID NIGHTMARE!!! It’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers for real-imagine the sleep deprivation we also talk about all the time, right Danish?? 😩😩🙏🏼🙏🏼💪💪

Narcissists are loyal only to their addictions.

Omg, my mother is the matriarch narc & her sisters are all involved. There are 4 in total, & each have two children. They each have chosen the eldest child as the scapegoat & the youngests are the golden children. They all participate in sick mind games & emotional abuse. I don't attend family gatherings on her side as I find them toxic. The betrayals are the most insidious. Evil incarnate. 💯

Shakira, the famous singer found out her husband was cheating on her with his assistant. She described how her mother in law knew the whole time and kept her eye on Shakira, so her son could keep the lover-affair going on. The betrayal cuts so deep, the ending of a marriage, the dissolution of trust, the deception in family. It hurts when you put all your love and trust into family, into marriage, into relationship. That’s why if they don’t care about you, it’s best to leave of if you can. Sooner or later they will destroy something priceless inside you, because what means something to you, does not mean anything to them. Of that feeling of exclusion is there inside you, don’t die there - go to where you feel love.

I refuse to co-parent my child with a monster! I brought the money, I cooked, cleaned, took care of the children. I was backstabbed, betrayed, cheated on and he admitted this with no shame! I want justice. I never want to see him in my life. I want my child back that he stole from me! Please God, give me my child back!

I just left my covert narcissist husband and their family who don't care about me and my daughter..i have never seen such a rotten father and dada dadi who has no empathy on us..i think i made a best decision in my life leaving all of them and decided to do single parenting rather than bad parenting. I can't thank enough Danish for your valuable insights on narcissism🙏. Otherwise I would be struggling with these monster's in my life.U are an angel ❤god has send from heaven .Sooo grateful to you Danish 🙏for enlightening all survivors.

My sister is the narcissist. There's nothing loyal about her.

Also when i confronted my husbands sister with the lies and manipulations of their mother she said " she is our mother and we will always be on her side and protect her". Sounded somehow like a passage from a mafia movie. In the end i had no other chance then to take my children and leave ..because my mother in law wanted to succeed to make me look crazy, so she could call the police and let my children bring to an orphans home. This was her final plan, as it came out. Thank god i could escape before it was too late. Now i live a peaceful life with my children ,in another country..

True. Even within the family. A Narc sibling will support another narc sibling tooth n nail Against an Empath sibling.

This is EXACTLY what happened within my marriage. My husband obeyed his cruel, cold ,narcissistic mother no matter what she did to me,to him and even to our children. I could not believe how he could defend her even when she isolated us from the rest of their family and even when she acted unbelieveble cruel with our baby son. The only thing my husband said : "well dont blame my mother for everything, you are also not perfect". Ok but i never purposly hurt someone.. Anyway.. i never understood if he is so blind and naiv, or if he just acted so Wish i saw your video 15 years earlier

I’ve listened to this 3 times now and it is sooo true. They can speak badly about their family, but I had better not. It’s insane how true that is.

This is so accurate and spot on! I have been a witness and experienced my husband’s family cult abuse and put downs for years. The boundary crossing is unbelievable. They talk bad about each other but God forbid anyone else should say anything slightly negative about them. It’s basically abuse by proxy because he allows it. Thanks for addressing this issue. 🙏🏼

This is true for me. I divorced my narcissist husband and he got my daughter (who I believe is a narcissist too) and they went to all my friends and even MY family and talked shit about me. It is/was awful. I do have some really good friends that didn't follow them that stuck up for me and didn't believe them. It is sad thinking about all the people that I thought were my friends and family. What a wake up call. 😢

Unbelievable!! I lived with these in-laws who were exactly like that!! They always came first over me. I was never accepted. This is all so spot on. I lived this for 50 years. So glad I heard this video because it explained what I lived with. So hurtful. Never could win over them. Terrible situation to be in!!!!😢

Yesterday i sticked to a boudary when it comes to my abusive narcissistic father( not allowing him to touch me) and my heart was pounding so fast and i panicked then he smirked and left, and tbh I'm proud of myself for doing so and passing this, & i wanna say you guys can do this too even if it's scary, just focus on being in a safe space & do Nervous system healing exercises after/during facing someone like him.

Very true. They are so loyal to their family. I was discarded last Tuesday and my former narc wife used to tell me that she would defend her family with her blood. But she neglected me upto the last day of the marriage. Very evil people.

The moment I realized how my narc family will stay loyal to the dysfunction was the moment i decided to seek mental health help. That was over a year ago. Now i know i'm not the bad guy.

This is sooooooo true. OMG. Unbelievable. Every single word is so damn right. It is such a disgusting bond they share. Wish I had watched this video 3 decades ago.

Right. He always chose his parents over me. When I was in hospital, he didn't visit me, because his Mom wanted him to stay every day for supper. And that she cooked for him was more important than visiting me. But when his Dad was in hospital, we had to visit him every day for weeks, no matter how much stress it caused us. I had once an emergency due to a blood clod and I lost conciseness. He refused to take the phone from my son to call an ambulance. Thankfully I recovered on my own. I could have died. I could give many examples of that. They don't care at all

That makes perfect sense. Because they have the most to leverage their family with.

Danish, I watched your video accidentally a few days ago. Regularly watching one after the other. I realize as if I am watching a film on my 40 years old married life. Everything you say is TRUE story of mine. Now I understand my husband's nature. He always made me think that I am just a fool. Now I am setting boundries with him, unable to leave at this age

Dear Danish. Thank you very much for your words. Thanks to them, I now know that I can trust myself, even when everyone around tells me that what I feel is not true. My husband is 50 years old and weighs 110 kg and yet he runs like a little dog when his covert narcissist sister whistles. I'm so glad I discovered your channel, you help me so much. Thank you and greetings from the Czech Republic.❤

Nothing is ever enough Walked the road for 35 years. Divorced 5 years, still sometimes feel the hurt and looking at myself wrongly

Danish is so on point - his observations birthed out of painful experience, makes him an expert in exposing the narcissist and their wickedness. Grateful for his insights and for making one feel understood in a climate of being separated from normal and saturated with cruel lunacy.

Thank you. So true. I wrote a longish comment as a reply to another person who wisely pointed that what you are saying here is true because it is a "team sport." My husband of 25 years passed 5 weeks ago. Like his mother, he was a covert narcissist who "everyone loved." Covert narcissists are demons who wear the mask of an angel. His mother actually almost killed him as a child. When he began having "flashes" about this a decade ago, he shorted out the electrical system in whatever he was touching at the time: a scooter, a car, our house. It happened. I was there. I was very devoted in the intervening decade to helping him heal from this. Nope. The last year or so was very rough. He spent a few months screaming at me about things that had nothing to do with me. He was screaming at his mother. But in the end, he returned to the cult and was his mother's chief apologist and champion. He attacked me about everything he formerly loved about me that was so different than her, for example, my intelligence, humor, flexibility, creativity, and authenticity. In the last week, he said several times, "You and your precious authenticity. Gross. Whatever." I am talking about him, but I am trying to understand myself better. I turned 60 last month and realize now that I have no experience of living in this world and not being oppressed by a narcissist. That is poignant and tragic and also true. I want to believe that I could have a future without a narcissist. I just don't see it yet but am trying to keep the faith. Thank you for your videos. I really enjoy the content, your perspective, your approach, and your manner. : )

Even after the death of my narcisistic husband,my mother in law and my sister in law have started ignoring me and my son .They want us to leave our house and go nowhere 😢

Narcissistic family system, emotionally unfulfilling childhood, validation hunger from cruel parents - or even need to get even or get a revenge with their parents or siblings, that's what's keeping them concentrated on their childhood family. And maybe promised inheritage. Many narcissistic families have siblings who fight over their parents approval, who's their favorite until the parents' death.

That's because blood is thicker than water except for that scapegoat who came out of the blue out of nowhere...no one knows...oh, wait! 😮

Been watching that with my x-narc!Don't miss being a part of his sick and twisted cult!Grateful and thankful so glad I am out of his grasp and web deceptions!🙏💜🙏❤️

This is exactly what my dad had to put up with with my mother's family. And during times when she was not on speaking terms with them she would complain how aweful they were to her 😵‍💫

... so many people need to know and understand this fact. But it can get worse - the narc on narc situationship where they're both trying to manipulate and use each other - in complete denial... thinking of themselves as a "power couple"?? I know a young woman who will be learning these life lessons for herself since as with so many, she already knows everything she needs to know. An enormous implosion is inevitable.

How can you describe it so perfectly? You are genious

Yes, I completely agree. They are loyal to their family. No matter what you do for them. They will bend towards their family only, because they work in unison.

This 10 minute video explains my 12 year marriage life...

My narcissistic ex, and her children used to gang up against me verbally, and I’m a very easy-going person myself. I was the scapegoat for all their problems. She knew I came from an abusive household myself, and she told me before I moved in with her that I would never have to be on guard again once I moved in with her, but in actuality, I had never been more hyper vigilant in my life than when I lived with my ex. Go figure.

Thank you for your information i wodered why he always put his family first before me very well said. Yes i was treated like an outsider.

My narcissist drank himself to death, so he's gone but he took the insurance money and left me broke. He spent it on his girlfriend. This episode explains so much. My therapist told me to tell both his sister, brother and friends about his nacissism and affair. I told them the truth of my 39 year marriage to them. They listened and seemed to understand but later, his sister and aunt attacked me through a long email telling me that I was crazy and what I told them happened my marriage was a lie. I sent them back a long letter emphasing the truth as well as asking them how they'd feel if I did the same. I then unfriended them on FB, told them never to contact me again. It was freeing!!

So very accurate. Thank you so much. You are so blessed because you are articulating the truth about such relationships with such accuracy which some of us cannot 🙏

very true - never thougt this is pattern - I‘ m feeling not that alone…

This is my family. The leader is so sneaky pretending to be something entirely different than she is. I have suffered so much throughout my entire life because of my parents evil deceptive ways. They attempt to make me look bad to convince others that they could not possibly have done the abuse that they have done.

Dude, you are the best narcissist reader on RU-vid. 

That narc I'm currently divorcing is from a family of eight will deal with my husband maybe only a short telephone conversations they do not pal around together nor visit each other. The other six has nothing to do with him. The entire family is dysfunctional. They try to manipulate and outdo each other That proves the wicked turns on the wicked. This is the seed their father planted from when they all were very young under the age of 10 this man destroyed his own family the same as my husband has done with his family it's an inherited generational curse.

Here in Serbia we don't call those families wasp hives, we call them snake dens. I think it's more accurate. And I didn't know how accurate and actually common it is before I figured out that both my ex boyfriend's and my own family are just two different snake den types of narcissistic systems. I'm struggling to apply the radical acceptance and be authentic.

Right on the money : my narcissistic ex-wife was more interested at satisfying her dad who was thousands of kilometres away than to be in a team with me.

Oh my word. You are opening my eyes and it is ugly. I don’t like what I see. So much pain right now 😢💔 I am having my second panic attack of my life.

Exactly said brother..what all happened in my life from my husband & my in-laws..same thing u told exactly 💯...thanks bro for giving an awareness with these kind of rotten people,to be cautious with these kind of people..I have experienced more abuse from them..God bless you brother.

Yep!!! All of this is so true!! I had no idea why! Now I do! Thank you Danish❤

My ex did tjis to me & I left him to be with his miserable family.

Literally my husband with his mother. He will always see her as the best woman in the world. It’s so weird and so sad- his own mother told me that I provoke his anger.

My uncle is exactly like this. But vice-versa, he talks shyt about his family to his significant other but when they fight bc of his cheating, he comes running back to the family, bad-mouthing his significant other so that they can turn their back against her. When they mend things, we're complete strangers all over again I hate that I'm the only one who sees this

My goodness, this is SO scarily true!

Each time you upload a video on the different aspects of narcissism, you are always spot on. Thank you for such genuine content.

My ex was loyal to EVERYONE except me.............

Their drinking is their first love but unable to stop

He take care of his mother, sis more than his own daughter

Within 15 seconds this resonated so much, as I've experienced this so much........I finally learned to stop trying to be more, that it will never be enough. I finally learned to stop arguing, but to quietly walk away and not come back.

My partner is the savior for his whole family. More than once he has sided with his family. I always knew something was off, and, ironically, it was something that an extended family member posted that tipped me off to the narc family dynamics. I truly believe that my partner was attracted to my family because we were a generally healthy family. While I feel that he wants to get out of the toxicity at times, he truly fears the repercussions. I am largely no/low contact and it has saved my sanity. I do not trust my partner nor his family and I am careful what information I share. One family members feeds misinformation to the others and it gets totally out of hand. It is sad and dangerous.

Thank you so much for this. I was in a long term marriage with this dynamic and left oknly after I finally realized I would NEVER be accepted.

❤Danish❤ you are helping so many people.

This is so true. Married to a narcissist for the last 34 years and her family is above our marriage.

I was excluded and left outside at my ex-narcs 40th while the whole family, extended family and all their partners were rounded up for family photos inside. We'd been living together for 3 years at that point. And he turned on me for being upset about it. Conveniently, they all 'forgot' my birthday the following year (even though it was only 3 days before his) Thank you for explaining this family dynamic.

With these narc families, you are either all in or you are out. All in also means believing in all their BS and lies.

Very true, very true, and they don't like each other, and they still meet and gossip, speak evil of the partners, especially of the narc. one. When it's time to discard one of the partners of them they play loving team and they say all evil. I never seen before people like these. They are full of evil...

I wish I had your help back in the 90s I went through all of this with no help back then😢 I believed I was worthless and never good enough for him and his family. He seem to love and care for his family, but not me or his child everything that you talk about is exactly how he was but nobody warned me of narcissist, I didn’t even know what it was in the 90s I’m away from it now. Thank you for your help. I appreciate you.

You validated my experience with my husband at this point thank you so much Danish ❤I appreciate your efforts ❤

The narc would be called home to help narc mother and he would abandon me and my children ever return on about a 3 month cycle where he would go back after getting major purchases and money from me. Then after she died he bonded only with his son almost hiding in my house, he and his son while I worked until I learned to stop saying yes to the requests all the while being in an abusive fog.

My ex had four kids with four women...none of his kids ever spoke to him, not at Christmas,not at birthdays..he was never invited to his families place on holidays because half his family couldn’t stand him.. his poor mother was left at his mercy, his mother was a very nice woman.. but I could see how her treating him like a child made him act like one!

You just described the past 20 years of my life word by word. It has been pure hell

Omg!!!! Were u narrating my story??? I cant believe this. It was word to word what i have been going through.

Very true

Sometimes, i have to take a break when I listening you because you say things so exactly, sometimes the same words in a statment they or he did, and I need to understand what happened to me and so, I go on listening after just walk away, breath, drink some water or doing other thing. About this especific topic, it is exactly how happened.

Thanks a lot for this info Danish. It describes the horrible way I have been treated by my relatives on both sides of my family all my life and by a female friend who I thought was genuine. They play a game of being caring and supportive but they treat an empathetic person like trash when it suits them. Your description of the narcs family and the relationship they have with them is spot on. Its true to heal and continue life a person has to cut those people out their lives forever. They suck the life out of anyone.

I'm so shocked!. This is simply the exact description of the relationship between my ex husband (who is a narcissist) and his family (mother, father and two younger sisters). His mother is also a narcissist, and his sisters, although always saying how toxic their mother is, they are always very very close to each other, depending on their mother for almost everything.

So, so true!!! I have problem with narcissistic husband! He is so loyal to his narcissistic mother and always prioritising her above me! At the moment we are having marriage counselling but I don't have much hope because they never change! Have 2 kids with him! And I am desperate!

I’m in shock how on point you are… exactly when I need to go to hospital he just said “then go”.. his family is in Saudi Arabia his father is sick and he wants to go. He never cared for me.

I wish I had known this a log time ago it was so bad that his family abused me and one of our children and he said or did nothing about it, he accused me of lying

That answers so many things.

I have noticed the loyalty thing happening only with people who have bad bodies (which is actually most people). They have to do this to survive because nobody outside of their family or cult truly wants them. Usually an outsider is with them out of necessity/defrauded/deceived, not because the outsider actually wants this person. If a person has a good body they don’t engage in the cult like behavior. They don’t need to. People engage in cults because they feel weaker standing on their own. If you have a bad body and nobody truly wants you obviously joining a cult (family cult or any other cult) is a survival strategy. Cults are only for the weaklings, the deformed, the malformed, and otherwise degenerated entities. High quality people do not need any cults, they can stand on their own, but there are very few high quality people. A needle in a hay stack. A high quality person is very, very, very, very, very, very rare.

my ex bought a pool table and had a lot of barbecues with his brothers. Took a lot of space and I never was invite to play. They stayied there gossiping and comparing people, judging, being mean. Drinking a massive amount of beer, and I hated that. And when I stand up he took the side of the brothers. Was so awfull, always a surprise, they made plans and invite each other, but nobody even told me that a party would happens in my home. Very humiliating.

Narcissists seem to think whatever they "own" is the best. When they believe someone is the best, it's because they think they own them. And, oftentimes, they do own them.

I saw this first hand. I knew something was wrong with that family.

It's a hive of wasps..yeah its a hive..copies of each other. So true!

What you say is 100% correct. I have experienced it

Danish thank you so much, 40+years suffered horrifically, 100 percent liar, all his family treat me the same, I never understood who gave them the green light to do this, eventually all people in the village I grew up with DID THE SAME, of course I gave him information, slatted them to me, switched it all around to them, I know now, 1 year away, finding it very hard. My luv to all abused this way. X

wow, you've hit the nail on the head, even some will feast with them while their own kids are sleeping hungry and this doesn't end there they'll still come home to beat them up, now I get it, thx bro.

OMG 😱 This is so so so accurate OMG !!!! My sister in law called me a name that I will not repeat and told my wife and she immediately says “ Oh you took it wrong she was JOKING “… I said “ wait a second you weren’t even there how do you know ? “

I was in a relationship with a narcissist, who had a GROUP of narcissistic friends, his best friend he called his “brother” (30 years of friendship) and everything you described is what him, and his 4 friends did to me!!! Treated me like i was an outsider in our own relationship!!! Now they broke us up and they live with him, and i know they hate each other…. SAD

This 10 minute is an eye opener my brain needed this to understand what I was oblivious to. He talks about his family personal things. I wouldnt share with anyone yet they are a team

For ages I am experiencing this narcissistic loyalty to their family members....no matter what they will stick to their toxic ways

So sorry for all the narcissist victims. Being one of them and particularly when the person is your own mom who teamed up with her other child , I can very well understand the pain we go through. My way out was to be with good people who loves me and values me. And trust me rest of the world loves us other than the narcissist team 😀

This is so true. My child father is a narcissist. He gaslight me throughout our relationship and then left me after 3 months of pregnancy. I'm raising our 1.5yrs old alone. I have run into his family multiple times. I have asked them to talk to him and to be a father to his son. Not one time they ask to see our son or to help in this matter. I've always been respectful towards them. It's like they support him disowning his son. My family would dear stand for that. I seen it with my own eyes him talk bad about them and their ways. Soon as they call here he comes running. I use to be right their with him. He completely walked out on me the moment I became pregnant

This is exactly what i am suffering from many years feel so bad for my self

All facts! For years I struggled with understanding why my husband was like this with his mother and it was videos like this that helped me understand. Every word in this video is all facts.

Thanks for clarifying this! For seven years I’ve been trying to understand why my husband always puts his twin brother and the woman who raised them First and not me or our kids. And if I say something about it, then he says that Im just not able to understand that special bond that exists between twins, as I just have a regular sibling, not a twin… I just recently started realizing that Im most likely living with a narcissist and Im now able to understand his behaviour better…

The family example. Whether family or friends, she has replied with "You dont know them. You only know what I've told you. I didnt tell you everything."