Why Dr. Phil Calls Communal Narcissists "Gala" Narcissists 

My ex husband and father of my child is DEFINITELY this kind of narcissists, a bit covert too, but getting more grandiose over the years. The gala analogy is so right. He makes his living throwing events based on social issues and awareness, meanwhile I am actually living those issues and he devalues and discards me every chance he can. It's disgusting

I loved the illustration of the care of animals. They compete even with Pets for attention. Sadly so dangerous people.

The people that put thumbs down for this video are narcissists. I was married to a narcissist for 24 years. It was a living nightmare. I wish I knew this years ago. I wasted so much of my life with a narcissist. He doesn't even care about his own children. It's all about money. They can't love anyone. They can't even love themselves. Divorcing people like this isn't a normal Divorce. They will take you down so hard until you don't have anything left. I was left homeless with two children. He controlled everything. He controlled all the Finances. This man wouldn't leave his house. He would rather see his children homeless or put up for adoption. I was lucky to have a CPS worker that was able to recognize that I was dealing with a narcissist. Please run and don't look back!

I once had a "friend" who would post monologs on social media of how honored she was to be PTA president of her sons school and how she dreamed of contributing to the wellbeing of her son and all the children....meanwhile she was doing drugs, permiscuous, fame seeking, and worst of all never had food in her house for the son she so called "cared" for. I got to the point where I could no longer tolerate her and cut ties completely.

True story, had one of them at an animal shelter I was working at. We had an event at PETCO and she was lapping up all the attention, then one of the dogs WHILE SHE WAS ON CAMERA, went up and pissed on her leg. It was so funny it hurt! and she was wearing those overpriced heels with the red bottoms, but she couldn't freak out because that would make her look bad. Only time I have ever given a dog a treat for "bad behavior". His name was Unter, and he lived happily ever after with his new family the DAY after the event closed out.

When I was a young single mother at times I would ask my narcissist mother for a few bucks to get by ( we're talking $50-$75) and she would help. One day during one of her raging episodes she told me I was jealous of her because she could help me financially 🤯 blew my mind . That was over 10 years ago. I've never asked her for a damn since that day.

these are found in the church - I remember one time after visiting a church they needed volunteers in the kitchen for a supper they were serving to the homeless Well I went in not knowing anyone so it was a little uncomfortable - all the ladies were standing around comparing what volunteering act they had done- one was hosting foreign exchange students at her house , the next one did something else.... there were about 8-9 volunteers in that kitchen and I noticed a dominance thing going on so I steered clear. I started pouring the orange juice into cups to be taken out to the dinning area and sure enough, one of them came up behind me "is this really where we want to pour the orange juice or do we want to take it out to the dinning area to pour it"- another one chimed in and I was just standing there waiting until they decide where they want to pour the orange juice and God forgive me but I was not comfortable with this- pouring orange juice is not brain surgery- but if you like we can set all the blooming cups on the floor, pour it there and do our Jane Fonda exercise picking them up. It was a pissing contest- who is the one with the most wisdom - the American beauty contest in the volunteer of the church kitchen. I never went back

I see them as more dangerous because Communal Narcissism can lead to Gang Stalking, people commiting suciide etc.

This format is great for Dr Phil. Go to town, doc.

“Don’t take the bait”! I need to walk away!

Dr Phil thank you for your words of enlightenment! At age 65, I finally discovered the family dynamics behind why I was the family scapegoat. Up until a few years ago I knew nothing about parents being narcissistic and how common the scapegoat and golden children were in families. And why I did marry a narcissist as well. I would love to hear what you would tell someone like me who was scapegoated. What can I tell children on public talk groups who ask me what can be done? Is there any help I can give? All I can come up with is -you have to survive! Then, get therapy??? I haven’t yet, you tube and books.

I would agree that a communal narcissist may be the least dangerous to merely "spend a little time with"...but they may be the most dangerous to be in a relationship with. They can be so hell bent on being seen as over-the-top awesome that they will, very subtly manipulate and twist narratives as to the value and contributions of anyone around them who they see as a threat to their status as "most valuable".... and what makes this so dangerous is that no one will believe that this person is capable of such behaviour

Thank you Dr. Phil. I have a former friend who sounds EXACTLY like the person you described in this video!! I will not let them run me out. I needed this reminder.

This is the best podcast on narcissism that I have ever heard. Dr. Phil never minces words. Thank you Dr Phil Show, for sharing it with us on RU-vid!

Again this whole series on Narcissist individuals is excellent. Thank you. This particular one I thought so informative. Sounds like individuals we are dealing with on a daily basis.

These people are Sad, Unhappy, Lonely, and Lost...I feel sorry for them but, I Run Away From Them!!! They only bring unhappiness to others!!!

This is my mother and I flat out tell her NO. I don't want to see her because I don't need the extra stress in my life

Yeah!!!!! Thanks Dr Phil!!! Those CRAZY people that I’ve been dealing with for decades including my husband…..HAS A NAME!!!! WOW!! I thought it was me!!! YES, the truth will set you free!!! Keep bringing your videos on Dr Phil 👍

The truth sets us free, thank you Dr. Phil 🙌🏻☀️

I am happy you are doing these videos for the sake of many

Can you talk more about the cerebral narcs and how they like mind games

It's even sicker when they are given the opportunity to do the right thing but choose not to because they are afraid of getting caught. Case in point - L.A. monstrosity of traffic management.

Meghan Markle.

Trust me, after living with one for 16 years, the abuse, power and control and gas lighting are just as dangerous as any other narcissist. It took me so long to leave him as I was looking in all the wrong areas to figure him out. The 15th year

No wonder he had the deputy escort me out of his 4th party. I burst his ego! And that was closure for me. Thanks Dr. Phil.

You described my stbx perfectly. Irregardless of anything I did that was right, noble good, or true, attentionaway from him and invariably, he pulled the rug out from under me. Then look at me and say, "Get up! You look stupid laying there!" But I could NEVER point it out, discuss it, understand it or question it. Gaslighting would occur within minutes...everything was my fault for not seeing it, exactly how he saw it. OR doing it better pointing out everything I did wrong!

Sounds like the Archewell Foundation.

Wow!!! Been thinking this for the longest time. Happy that you mentioned this.

Married to one for 25 years. Not harmless if you are in a relationship with one because their apparent, yet false, altruism and empathy can fool you into believing that they won't hurt you. But, the betrayal is that much harder to take. If one of these guys is in an animal rescue, he is not cleaning any cages and feeding animals. He is busy trying to charm anyone who comes in.

That sounds like my mother. It was all about the prestige. She was on the town counsel, every board in our town, president of the golf club, etc. So she could look like the hero. This is her to a tee! All while our family was falling apart behind closed doors. As long as she looked good in the public eye, all was well in her screwed up world. Really sad to be honest.

The moment someone talks too much about themselves going off on their high horses is the moment I spot narcissist. I shut that down fast and end it fast! Works like a charm in avoiding them! Saves my own life from heartache and pain.

Keep the facts coming Dr. Phil! Great information!

Thanks, Dr. Phil for this video! I understand a lot more now about these behaviors!

Glad to find you in this format, Dr. Phil. Would love expanded program(s) and help regarding family scapegoats.

Dr. Phil, this really hits home for me. It explains quite a bit from my last job. Thank you.

The communal narcissist can have an attitude and behaviour adjustment, if we take the legal or social steps to moderate their lack of boundaries, and contempt for those around them. I’m speaking here, primarily, if you’re stuck with one who is not related - a neighbour. This one can’t leave the house without an entire raucous, so everyone can see, hear, and know they are around, and can’t wait to shuffle off the kids for the weekend debauch. My comment to my roommate is, always, “the circus just pulled in/out of town”.

Everything you have said is what my x has done and alot lot more ,you have made me feel a lot better , thank you

Omg, these people are too much, 🙄. I had to rewined the part when you said the animals need us. These people look for frame but behind close doors the probably hate all the animals

Enjoying this series. It's calming and easy to listen to. Just wanted to point out the irony that narcissists get a LOT of attention on the internet. So many channels devoted to exploring narcissism. There must be a lot of narcissists.

Thank you, you are spot on!

This is my first time hearing about this category. My childhood was shaped by such a person. They did a lot of seemingly great things but every slightly disadvantaged person or situation was their cross to bare so they could spoon in to save the day. I think that this was my source for perfecting the “disgusted disbelief eye roll”.

Dr. Phil you are awesome. Thank you for sharing.⚖️

Thank you ❤️

Enjoying the new format too.

That fahrenhiet book is what this is about. And thanks and I'm feeling more focused on life with this Dr Phil that the Cable Tv Dr Phil.

Thanks for these videos very informative and will help people recognise all the warning signs and exit quickly . As an empath who grew up with a narcissistic father and older sister I've been a magnet and easy gullable target to these personality types all my life .Thankfully after years of therapy and self reflection the penny has finally dropped at 40 years old .Better late than never ... It would be great to hear your thoughts on Histrionic personality.. Again thanks for the content 🙏❣

This is really good. Neglecting something that I’m passionate about was the case in my experience. I’m no philanthropist but if I’m moved to give $5, $10 to someone I see on a corner. Then that’s what I will do. I may even be moved to do a little more. This caused several arguments with my ex. It seemed if it was marketable to help someone she may be four it but when it was no one to give credit she didn’t seem to care and opposed me of doing it till the point I got tired of offering help because of the conflicts it would spark between her and I.

My narcissistic husband has the symptoms of all these different types of narcissism. I have listened to all and the one that sticks out the most is covert but still has signs of all of them.

Yup! It’s real! My narc mother would pledge thousands of dollars to churches for a “title” and or to be acknowledged in front of people all while when we the kids needed any resources for school etc she would say “I don’t have money!”

They will discard you in a heartbeat if you are not of use to them anymore! Go no contact PEACE AT LAST!!

Excellent shows.

another thing- after a bad break up - I needed supportive people around me and what better place to find supportive people than the church right :-) Wrong. I joined a bible study group and before going to the group I heard "let's play bible trivia"- not sure where the voice came from but we met at a persons house and we all sat around exchanging who knows more about the particular book we were in. And of course- I had just started reading the bible so I could not compete :-) Again- it was a contest- never went back there either!!! If you look at our society- where does this come from? We are all pegged against each other so early in life- spelling contests, beauty pageants, whose the most popular, whose the best dressed, whose this and whose that I was driving down the street the other day past the high school- there were 5-6 girls putting up something on a pole- they were cheerleaders- beautiful 13-14-15 yr old girls with skirts so short the moon shined. What society puts their young girls into mini skirts? And then gives them pom pom and asked them to jump up in the air with their legs spread open???????? Whoever is in charge of these costumes - is it an adult with children's best interest in their minds? Nothing makes sense anymore - then when these young girls start sleeping around and by the time they are 20 years of age and slept with 20 guys we point the finger at them "you slut"! "In God we trust" where is God in all this? it is a petri dish with the wrong agar = narcissistic bacteria

That's a great analysis about the expensive outfit !

This reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where George was mad he didn’t get “credit” for a tip because the guy at the counter had his back turned and didn’t see him put it in the jar.

Thank you dr phil. This makes sense, I don't know which I'm in relationship with but all these symptoms fit him.

Don't belittle people for being kind to others. It's the thought that still counts.

Ohhh this describes the people in my life 10000% 👏👏👏👏👏

Having worked in the charity sector I have met people like this (management sometimes) which you don’t expect. in fact working in a corporate environment you’re more likely to meet better people or if they do turn out to be narcissists you won’t end up being surprised, they wouldn’t have hoodwinked you.

Or the narcs who's family member goes missing... they'll organize the search & rescue game plan/teams, but, never seem to get directly involved in the actual search & rescue, itself.Yet, always find themselves front & center at the podium during the interviews when the cameras are rolling & leading the prayer vigil, which is characterized as a communal lament.

Thank you

Thankyou Dr. Phil🩷

thank you

I totally agree. Thank you.

Narcissistic + ghosting = toxic

its like i said before if you have a powerful mind always use it good and help others live their life

They give a condition which benefits themselves, and leave one without any dignity or self worthiness. They are so good that they createba condition and a situation that causes you not to argue with them but forcefully agree whatsoever they do.

Thanks Dr. Phil.....I'll try:)

I work with a colleague that, I don’t know that he’s a “narcissist”, but he shares some of these qualities. Thing is, he is such a dedicated zealot, that the place probably would fall to pieces, if he left. But, another type of communal narcissist, I “think”, might be my neighbor. Either I’m trying to falsely shoehorn her into that label or she’s a different type of communal narcissist. She could simply be an aging, sickly person, who is desperate for help and attention. So, she’ll paint a wonderfully quaint and virtuous picture of herself to people and the authorities. But, for me, she was after me becoming her free caregiver, before she was even diagnosed with anything, suddenly wanted to become BFFs and when I told her no, she began smearing me to the point where another neighbor started pressuring me. Then, since things weren’t bad enough, although she is probably lonely and wants the company, she gets a dog she can’t care for that she expects me to care for. I’m only 6 years younger. But I’ve got a career, my own pets, personal and professional goals and she wants me to be cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, probably lending her my car so she can get rid of hers and taking her to doctors appointments and to visit her imprisoned husband. For someone who doesn’t know me, she sees no boundaries and anything I don’t want to do for her, I guess I’m the narcissist. Opening my mail when no other tenant that’s ever lived beneath me has and it’s hard to say anything, because the neighbor sees her as a helpless angel and me the narcissistic ogre.

Spot on

That's what happened I just needed boundaries for my teenagers

the narc I deal with ex husband... is most definitely a malignant narc BUT he also had alot of the gala narc traits....doesn't do anything without it being visible and to make him like like he's such a shining example lol.... all fake

Thanks

This is SOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!

Now we can understand . And run as fast one can . They will never change . Better to be along than to be with a person who only care about their self. They can never say anything good about anyone . They can only put others down . They don’t have any love in their souls. And they get so much pleasure out of the hurt they cause . They love to but other down RUN RUN FAST .

Sophie Luna is the mother of one of the girls at the school in Harlem visited by Meghan Markle. Described MM to a tee. Ya got to hear it.

I can actually stand to watch dr phil like this

Dam Dr Phil is so intelligent.. true!!! True!!!

seeing this video only validates that i am in a toxic work environment. The supervisors treat me like crap and accuse me of something i did not do. They like that people boot lick them and work long hours with no extra pay. I have people at home to care about, if you want me to work a longer shift, let me know, do not say i went MIA and said u confirmed with others that they did not see me. The people that she asked does not even work with me. i am in another part of the department which they will rarely see me... sorry about my rant. i am just so frustrated that my supervisor accused me of that today.. when i have been doing my job according to the agreement from the start. People that worked closely with me can testify that but unfortunately they know who to ask that will generate the answer they seek ..which is not beneficial to me. The work itself is great but micromanagers that accuse people is something that frustrates me. lots of good employees left because of such narcissistic and self absorbed people. my contract ends in a couple of weeks and i do not plan to continue there..

Dr.Phil, You left out Overt Narcissist?? But your videos are extremely interesting; thank you!!😁

Amen!!!!! I'm currently helping pets suffering under these kind of people

Respect

Dr. PHIL.. I've been living in the home my scapegoated brother Chuck lived chained to his bed from the time he was a toddler when he was beaten in his bed every morning upon waking. Living chained till he was in the 10th grade. I've been stuck here for 17 years got any ideas ? I need help ?

My husband even tells me which mask I shoul wear 😰

Please do one on COVERT narcissist

This is so my old boss!! Had to have her picture in The paper each and every week! Sometimes 2-3 times a week!! So Narcissistic in so many ways!! Then she teamed her with my narcissistic brother and I left my job!!

I never categorized such people into a category such as "narcissist", but after listening to some of your lectures on the subject, I realize that I USED TO think that if I have to be around such a type of person, I would prefer good looking and wealthy. Not realizing of course the depth of depravity that people will go to, I realize that probably is one of the more dangerous categories. I don't know what the types mean but I will listen. Is there a "rich b-**ch" narcissist category?....listening to more of your lecture or discussion (not to say it's not absolutely fantastic) and this reminds me of a certain politician I met who makes sure to smile for cameras when it comes to allocating money for charitable reasons (i.e. Covid relief money) but steals the money--not just a "narcissist" but that combined with stealing the funds. How often does Narcissism and theft go hand-in-hand?

Is it possible for someone to be more than one type of narcissist? I think certain celebrities may have both grandiose and communal narcissistic traits.

There is enough confusion and enough names for those of narcissism without adding more.

My husband is a dangerous narcissist. Comes from a narcissist cult family They're all monsters, especially the parents and grandparents 😮

Yesssssss OMG all my life

It’s all about them!

Took over

Sad Truth about these people.

BTW - One of best movie quotes ever in a movie calked Ensign Pulver. When asked if he was disturbed he did not get credit for something great he had done Pulver replied - I figured there will never be any credit for me - there will just be the next thing to do.

My dad ..I say please stop .. yesssssss OMG

This sounds like most Politicians.

Can I get this on some kind of devise that I can listen to because I don't have a computer & it uses too much of my data. I' m really want to more info. We are ten children & I have one sister & a brother & it's like a cancer in the family & they can hardly stay on the same room. They are way too much.

Can someone be a classic and communal narcissist at same time?i.e function as both?

TRUE, if one doesn't support them - one gets the biggest acting contest in one's face and are rejected for not supporting them. They even scream when one gives attention to someone else WITH AUTHORITY per se.

DAMN!!