‘Once your in a relationship, you ar not longer bisexual’. Exactly that. I am a 36-year-old woman and have been open about my sexual orientation since I was 18 years old. But since my last two relationships with a man (and having childeren), it seems that my sexual orientation no longer exists. After all, I am in a relationship with a man, ‘why are you still bisexual?’ I don't like boxes, but I still find it hard that they get me out of the "bisexual" box. Even my own parents. I am proud who i am, but it seems like I have to come out again every now and then, and defend myself about my sexual orientation. Thank you for making this video, knowing that more are struggling with this "problem." I just discovered your videos, (becouse of your buzzcut..I did it a few weeks ago)you are both fantastic. And your hair is stunning!!!!
"I don't like boxes, but I still find it hard that they get me out of the "bisexual" box" That's interesting to me, I see bisexuality as being outside of the box 😂
All of this that youre talking about is so true, ive realized when im now come out as bisexual myself that there are a lot more biphobia then you think and its so important to talk about it and make people aware, we are just as valid as anyone else in the community! Thank you for making this video! ❤
This video literally describes how I’ve been feeling especially lately but for years if I’m honest!!! I’ve been figuring a lot of stuff out the past few months and years that are literally described by you!! 😍 I am feeling attractions towards women as well as men but I always felt too “tomboy-ish” or “masculine” to be bisexual, that being bisexual would mean I won’t be accepted as the tomboy-me (which I now know is bullshit) and when I had a crush on a guy I was always like - oh that’s so wrong, you’re queer, maybe this guy is just objectively more good-looking than most guys or something, your feelings aren’t real. It’s like I didn’t want to allow myself to be bisexual BECAUSE of the stigma that bisexuals are “straight girls that just want to have fun with girls” and I just knew for sure that I wasn’t straight, cause I fricking love girls! This video is AMAZING! Thank you so much for sharing - you’re the first person that literally represents how I feel and finally make me feel like I’m not alone!
I just came out to my mom.... I told her that I dont know if I'm bi or les I'm most likely bi I told her that this isn't a phase a few of my friends know and she told me she loves me the same but she didnt like it completely idk what that means she said that she supports me 100% that's very good but she said she would have to talk to my dad and I said that i will idk when bc that isn't ur place its mine... I feel like I should have waited till we got home from my grandparents house bc now I'm scared to be around her... ik she loves me but I just dont know...
Gionna Belton Any advice on coming out to my parents? I’m really scared only because I don’t know if my parents (and siblings) will accept me :/ (I haven’t come out to anyone yet)
Happy Pride Month Everyone! Thanks for listening to my rant. Let's talk more about bisexuality - what have your experiences being bi or dating someone bi in the LGBT community been like?
First of all thank you for your courage. I wish we all could love who we want without being judged or categorized. I also tend to think being bi is the norm (meaning that everyone is bi to some extent with various degrees whether they act on it or not), although I don't personally identify as such. But you're right, bisexuals are the target of all communities. It once was the more acceptable way to come out, now it's become the most openly prejudiced community. In any case, you're still the most inspirational lesbian couple I've ever seen.
Alexis and Lilian I am a lesbian, and sadly, my experience dating bisexual women has been atrocious. Obviously, not all bisexual women would behave the way my exes do, but due to that trauma I prefer to date other lesbians.
Alexis and Lilian I’ve never actually dated a bi woman ( I’m les) but I did date a pan woman, and she was great, but honestly I didn’t care about her sexuality, she was and still is perfect the way she is. I loved her for her not for her sexuality
My split is about 90/10, preferring women. I also use the term queer because I don’t fully identify with the term lesbian because I could potentially fall in love with a guy but because I have a *strong* preference for women I also don’t feel fully comfortable using the term bisexual. It’s complicated, lol.
I am also bisexual. I got married to a man 2 years ago. My spIit was same as yours and I have only dated with girls in the past but a few years ago I met him in a bar and we had a really long talk on the first night and i fell in love with him... I have never thought I can love a man so much but this happened.. Since I am married to him, I stopped using a term "bisexual". I don't want to confuse his family and friends. Sometimes it is hard when I have a situation to talk about exes..
me toooooo, but using the word "queer" in danish would sound weird so i just tell people that i'm bisexual. Also people would probably start asking "what's queer?", and then i would have to explain that
as a bi woman, seeing fellow bi women in healthy relationships with other women makes me so happy. i feel like so many people expect us to settle down with a man, and that’s just simply not true for a good portion of us. and however life turns out for us, we’re still bi no matter what. great video :)
As a bisexual women, I hate being told "you just need to work out what you prefer".... What I prefer is a decent person!! I don't care what their gender is, it's the person I'm attracted to, not the gender.
This is my problem, Im 32 and still not out! I struggled with it in for years, I've accepted it in myself but I'm still worried about peoples judgement. I don't want/need to pick a side, I want to be with a decent human being!
Thank you for talking about this. As a bisexual woman, I often struggle with the same things you mentioned. I'm still learning to fully accept my sexuality, but making progress everyday. 💙
This is very true. People do 'stereotype' people who identify as bisexual. It's almost as if bisexuality isn't a recognized sexuality. It's time we begin to progress forward and actually accept people for their preferences whether it be a man, woman or BOTH. So glad you were able to build up the courage to post this inspirational video. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜♥️🏳️🌈 #happypridemonth
I think I needed this video today. I wrote down a list of things that fear was holding me back on, and accepting that I am bisexual was top of the list. I've long accepted and embraced being attracted to women, but I've struggled to accept the bisexual label because of all the judgement and misconceptions you mentioned. It honestly feels easier to tell my parents I'm gay, than bi. And I know they would understand that better too. But I want to be true to myself and I am still attracted to men, even if I choose not to date them. Thank you for this video that not only summed up everything I've felt but also fills me determination to accept my orientation and be proudly bisexual! :)
So true... being trans just adds another layer of complexity (and sometimes confusion) to how people perceive you and your sexuality. i know it can be hard to let go of internalized biphobia and transphobia, but i hope you'll manage and wish you happy dating. Greetings from another bisexual transgender woman ^_^ you are not the only one
Wow, great video and well-explained! Thank you so much for this. Re: "internalized biphobia": a friend of mine, who is bisexual and happens to be German, had a tendency to avoid me when she hooked up with a guy again because she thought that me and my friends would disapprove of her not being gay enough :( She had previously been with a woman for 16 years and broke up only after that one cheated on her, among other things. So, of course that homo- or heterosexuality do not equal monogamy nor does bisexuality equal polygamy or cheating. Once again, great video! Thanks so much
Thank you so much Lilian!! I'm so scared of being rejected by the lesbian woman I have a huge crush on, if I tell her I'm bisexual. You seem to have found a great, open-minded lesbian partner in Alexis. Two lesbian friends told me they had bad experiences with bisexual women, and now they only want to date lesbians. But when they explained the issues they encountered, the reality is that these supposedly bisexual women were just biCURIOUS, just exploring, not committed, mostly into men, etc... So I completely agree with you, Lilian, when you say a bisexual can absolutely have a real, meaningful and committed relationship with a lesbian.
I am somehow afraid to admit that I am into girls more than men at a energetic level. I love and I am attracted to men too, but is something that draws me to girls in a very pure and mysterious way. I am confused. I somehow want to explore this energy in me.
The lgbtq+ community gets enough hate without us hating each other. The hate bisexuals and pansexuals get from other members of the community is ridiculous. I've even heard people calling bisexuality homophobic because we also like members of the opposite sex and get in heterosexual relationships. It's so toxic honestly.
Thank you for this video! I also identify myself as bisexual. In the beginning of me trying to figure out my sexuality, I was hard on myself, always questioning if these feelings I have for women are real, or if I am just like what everybody else says, “trying to get attention”. Eventually I got out of that stage, but I am now (ironically) stuck with this “subconsciously suppressing feelings for the opposite sex” stage. I know clearly that I shouldn't be feeling any of these non-senses. I mean, I AM A FREAKING BISEXUAL!!! But the reality is that, with my country (Taiwan) finally legalizing same-sex marriage last month after years of fighting, this irrational fear that “falling for a man would disqualify my queerness” haunts me. (Internalized biphobia is obviously no fun 😂. But I think I'll be alright, just need a bit more time to work things out again.) Anyway, it's great to have someone like you to open up and start this kind of conversation. I always feel that I am practically on my own, dealing with all these self-doubts. It's like, no matter how supportive my family and friends are, they being straights, simply can't relate to my struggles. So, thank you again for this video, it sure makes me feel understood and less lonely 😀.
You are a bicon!! Thankyou for making this video, i feel like both straight and gay people have a prejudice against us and think we're not real and this video could help change their minds! ly xxx
Thank you so much for making this video! As a bi woman in a monogamous marriage with a straight man, I also fall into the spectrum of bi erasure. In fact, I didn't even know I was bi until I was already married (I have internalized homophobia/religious indoctrination to thank for that one). I love my husband and am attracted to him, but I am also attracted to other people, usually women. My attraction to women does not make me feel any less attracted to my very male husband.
Probably because many people have had negative experiences dating bisexual people, as a lot of them tend to be selfish &, cheaters. She may be the exception but most bisexuals lean towards the straight side and don’t take their relationships seriously, will 100% leave when the right man comes along etc etc. just no point in trying to get serious with one
@@thisgoogleaccount5009 That's just a rationalisation of prejudice. Plain and simple. You are doing the same thing some people do when they justify their racist bias with some criminality rates or a friend's anecdote. With the difference that the racist at least has bothered enough to wrongly support their prejudice with data instead of unverifiable claims.
@@biboba604 literally every lesbian has had this experience at some point I’m telling u straight up that’s why they stay away from bisexual women and have negative connotations. Just the bitter truth that when you chose to date a bisexual woman she will always choose a man in the end that’s the truth. And it’s not even biphobia, the numbers tell the story. It’s just way easier to be with a man than a woman and that’s facts so bisexual women will always choose men in the end
@@thisgoogleaccount5009 Where are those numbers you are talking about? Unprovable self-reported anecdotal evidence in a RU-vid comment is not "numbers" dear. You keep repeating the same things and using literally the same flawed logic (and/or lies) as the racists that say "I am not a bigot, literally everyone I know that has been robbed was robbed by a black man". As I said, at least the racists put some effort into cherry picking and misinterpreting actual numbers in order to try and defend their bigotry
Hello! Thankyou very much for this video. I'm currently exploring my own gender, since I'm 27 and have only had heterosexual relationships and yet have allways felt I like women. I've been studying what this might mean, and your channel is helping me a bunch! I was surprised to hear that bisexuality has a negative connotation in some circles, I'm from Mexico and have lived in the West quite a bit but I've never encountered this. My Mexican circle is quite diverse relating homosexuality, my parents consider themselves open minded but have trouble accepting lesbianism as something that is natural, and I have all sorts of friends, some more accepting than others. Also, mexican culture (what we can uderstand as the main stream of thought regarding sexuality) is predominatly sexist (machista). This is part of our everyday lives, there are a lot of feminicides here, a lot of seeing women as preys, a lot of seeing women essentialy as virgins or prostitutes, as essentialy mothers. Accepting I also like girls is a new world for me, and understanding how I feel towards men, my heart having travelled alongside them for such a long time, as well. So thank you, most sincerely for this and for creating and inciting a representation of bisexuality. Let's keep baking a better world ;)
Hii. I'm a girl and I have a girlfriend. I don't know what my sexuality is. Maybe it's bisexual or pansexual, I just can't decide. i just know I am more attracted to women than men and I'm a closeted
When I was coming out, I struggled with this. Because I had dated men, I felt like I wasn't as sure or "pure" with being gay. That women who knew all along that they only liked women were somehow more legit, and I also felt a bit of shame about it that it took me so long to realize. Thank you for speaking out for the validity of your identity and so many others.
I’m curious- I always thought I was bi but my attraction to guys was fleeting. Then I started dating women and the 3rd one in, I married. I still find guys cute, but I have zero interest in ever having a relationship with a guy again. If my wife broke my heart, I’d only want a relationship with a woman. I could imagine possibly dating a guy with only kissing and snuggling but no sex, and I find guys cute more so than hot- more like if I see a really cute puppy. And I can’t seem to fully empathize with a man. Women, I do, and my interest is not fleeting. I know people hate labels, but I find them interesting and wonder if you’d consider me bi or lesbian? Like if you have to say one or the other. Actually, never mind. I think I just figured out I’m a lesbian when I reread what I just wrote!
Sexual and romantic attraction are two different things. Sounds like you could be biromantic and homosexual. In which case bi or lesbian both work for you so can pick one or use both
After reading what you said, I’d definitely consider you a lesbian. You seem to have zero sexual nor romantic interest in men. I love men in a cute puppy/ brotherly love way as well.
@Alexandra Maier Hi! We are together and completely in love:) I think I’m maybe bisexual, but only a sliver for guys and the interest is sooo fleeting. I’ve never ever had what I feel for my wife- and I was mostly in long term relationships with men until I met her when I was 43! :) I’m lucky I met “the one” ♥️
@@Livmylifelivi Yeah, on an occasion I think a guy is sooo cute and I crush a bit, and it’s like they’re cute like a puppy. And then it quickly goes away lol.
@@veronicag4593 yeah, I’d say I’m almost lesbian, just a sliver into certain (rare) guys in a fleeting way. I just can’t seem to have ever truly loved a guy the way I’ve felt for women, especially my wife. I always felt like a man hater after getting to know the guy lol. Not really, but so disappointed and like “yuck”. Yet my wife is far far from perfect and the love and attraction never ends.
to be honest.. i've never encountered any phobia against my sexuality... because i've never started a discussion with anybody about it :D i live openly as a lesbian .. and just having to say "openly" is so weird to me bcs i feel like i am no different from heterosexuals. all my friends except maybe 1 or 2 people there are heterosexual- the only times i encounter worries/anger/fear about sexualitys was when i entered LGBT discussions/parties/groups. "outside" in the world, my sexuality is not open for discussion because quite francly.. nobody gives a damn. and i am sooo glad about that. i can do whatever i want, like anybody else.. like i always did. - often, specially nowadays, i feel less secure and rather embattled by the LGBT community than anywhere else. since i had contact to the community etc, i rather felt guilty of having to call myself a lesbian if it came down to definition. i dont feel any different from the time when i didnt realize that i was a lesbian yet. i feel "hetero" if you will. i feel like me. and since all the definitions, sexualities and genders were made known... i feel like i am in danger because being ONE of those definitions suggests a world of fear/anger/not feeling right/being oppressed by others.. THAT is what scares me. not my sexuality or the people i live with or the world i live in..
How much do I love this? SO MUCH!!! I’m having a hard time and everything you said is exactly how I feel. I’ve also been hurt by women who were into me but would tell me they don’t actually like girls so I just stayed dating men and having sex when I had to think ofgirls to get off. I’m finally coming to terms that I love women. But there’s a small percentage of me that still like men. I’m not confused. I’m not just gonna want a girl then eventually end with a man. And also I have a very small toddler. It’s hard being accepted as a gay woman with a child from a pst relationship.
thank you for this video! i perceive myself as a straight person, but im not still sure about it. i might be pansexual because i don't really care about genders or how they perceive themselves. im willing to fall in love with someone just because someone is nice and like his/her character. it's okay to don't know I think
@@cherryannablue yea some people are confused even if they're grown-ups so that's okay. once i had crush on one girl just because i liked her, didn't really feel sexual energy towards her. im really confused that i don't feel that to anyone at all but still I want to be in relationship. it's so hard to know who's attracted to me. i said I'm not sure about being pansexual because i don't know any transgendered people so dunno how would i feel among them so on hope im gonna find out but you might be right
@@missmisery260 I'm trans, and on any basic day no one would know, so perhaps you have had sexual attraction/romantic feelings for someone who considers themselves trans. I'm not sure who is attracted to me either. Especially given being bi and trans. I basically need to be with someone who is the same. I know I can't date straight people anymore. I end up having to hide who I am.
I hate it when people say that being pan sexual means that you aren't limited by gender because I am bisexual and have never even considered a person's gender in terms of disqualifying them from a list of potential partners. We don't have to pick a side and we are also no limited by gender
I guess it might be because there are so many women said they are bi and play around, and you CANNOT deny it that there are some Confused straight women who think they are bi and flirted with gals and even get drown in the deep relationship with a gal, at the end break the gal's heart and ghosting plus go back to a man. So, I guess it depends on personality then. But, those players DO tarnish the real Bi.
I find dating lesbians means as a bi woman I’m judged from the on. I don’t know how to convince them but this video described my exact feelings. Thankyou so much for doing it
Preach!!! I love this video thanks for representing!! I think you articulated yourself very well and I hope one day bisexuals will be respected as much as everyone else. 💖💙💜
When I was younger I worked with lovely lesbian couple (before I knew for sure I was bi). There was a discussion in the restaurant one day from some customers about bi people being just greedy straight woman that want their cake and to eat it too. It hurt me so much and at the time I didn't really understand why. Now I know it's because what they said was an opinion of me, someone they don't know. It's just sad that those people don't know the struggle, the pain, the self doubt, and the fear that came to me in the journey of realizing my truth. It's sad because they would never know my kind, faithful, loving heart because they just want to make assumptions. If people want to make assumptions, then they should only assume the best.
Thank you for this. I try to explain this very thing to people all the time and some get it and some don't. I strongly believe that those who don't, simply don't and therefore it's not my place to convince anyone of anything especially who I am. It was confusing for me in the beginning, just like you described, but once I figured it out, I was happy and still am today. I also realise that it can be a challenge for prospective partners as well, but they have to figure out their own feelings and make their own decisions on the commitments they choose. I feel also that because we ''Bi'' people can often not really belong in either the straight or gay communities, we have to be and usually are very strong people in ourselves and our identities and that can be confusing and in some cases threatening to those who ''don't get it''. Thanks again for addressing this topic. Big love
You awesome for doing this :) Thank you! I always felt weird saying that I'm bi, I felt like once I said it people would look at me with their judging eyes and not take me serioursly. There is such a stigma with the word bisexual and I think it's stupid and a lil bit hypocritical. I've recently realise that nothing is wrong with it. I dont care what people think anymore. There will always be people who are with you and people who are against you, that's just how it is. Im about just living my best life :) Happy Pride!
The moment you said "I am attracted too women and I am attracted to men. But not equally so." I LITERALLY screamed "AMEN!" Because this is SO true. I myself just recently came as bi to my mother, and am slowly coming out to my friends. This being said, I have learned that many people, myself included, didn't or don't seem to realize that being bi doesn't necessarily mean you're 50/50
Thanks for opening up about this. I'm bi but am like you and more into women, but I always feel like I'm like betraying my sexuality / future female partners ..when I am attracted to men too. It's tough.
Thank u for sharing it ! I'm bisexual and the reason why I came out late it's because all the biphobia ("I like this girl but maybe it's just a friend stuff or admiration" " "All the girls are attracted to others girls sometimes" "It's just a phase" "I have to choose" "Im attracted to men so i'm not LGBT"), and the lake of representation in films, series, book,.... Now I'm fine about it and I've choosed not to choose between genders. But I see sometimes biphobia on dating apps or sexualisation from couples. I'm not monogamous so maybe I'm a bit cliché but I never linked this with my bisexuality and it's not depend on the gender of the person I'm with. I never cheated or I don't feel never satisfied, I just communicate a lot with the person with who I am and it's ok. (Sorry if I made mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker) Thanks again !
I came out as Bisexual then realized I am Pansexual and I get "Oh, one of those" Or chose a side, or your greedy. I get couples who want to use me like a novelty, I get straight ladies who are curious. I've gotten people frustrated and they reply your making it too complicated...It hurts but I keep it in. I thought I would be accepted but also I don't feel the need to present just as I am, and the right friends or person will see me for me. These videos help me so much and give me some comfort. I'm human too and I can't help who I am and who I love and want to love without feeling that no one will love me back because of who I am. I've also noticed trouble when I had a boyfriend and he acted like every Woman that spoke to me I was flirting with or something. This video hit home and made me tear up
I met a great lesbian woman in 2020. We went out once or twice. I visited her at home. We really liked each other. But then my bi sexuality became an issue. She could just not understand that I'm only men and women. I was disappointed and since I've been shy about my bi preference
Well...... That is always not easy to me. My girl sometimes says she just loves because of the way I am. Not because a woman. What are all the types of sexualities for? For whom? Just for discrimination? For whom ? So frustrated... l wish I could live in the world. No need to answer the question like "which do you like better a girl or a boy?" It is totally nonsense!!! "I love you just because of you" love is just love... why do we have to classify? ??
Hi Guys I came out with my family for almost 2 years now! And still they can’t accept my decision and whom i love. 😭 it hurts so much for every day and my siblings dont even talk to me since the revelation. That has affected my health too much stress from work and more at home. Now i had to look after my health because my bp might affect my kidney needs to be looked after now.. im sad even if i have a problem now in health still couldn’t accept it.
Thank you for sharing your truth! That means a lot ❤ I admire your courage! I think people of any sexuality or gender identity can fall into "gatekeeping mindset." It's tricky because our truths do not all look the same, and we are all in different stages of discovery. I believe it's important to examine the sources of the impulse to tear someone else down and ask yourself some tough questions, in order to grow. Being able to answer tough, personal questions honestly with yourself will really help keep you out of the pitfalls of adopting this mindset. A wise person I knew who used to identify and live as a lesbian, but now is a couple years into gender transition, once told me: the label follows the feeling--the feeling shouldn't follow the label. Let's give others and ourselves the space to learn, grow and change 🌱
Great video! I'm vice president of the board of directors for a local LGBT support group (a chapter of PFLAG) and our discussion topic last month was supposed to be bisexuality but we didn't have a guest speaker or anyone to rep the squad as it were on hand. I'm definitely sharing this on the Facebook group though!
ellie Orchard thank you so much! They reacted much better than I thought they would, they said they still loved me and they accept me for who I am and they just want me to be happy. I talked to my mom afterwards and she said she was surprised on how well my dad took it because he’s not very open minded and he’s really stubborn so I was terrified to tell him. But he took it really well!
The way that I explain it is, let’s say your favorite sweets are brownies and cupcakes. A certain period of your life you always crave brownies, but cupcakes are still something you know you like and might want in the future, if you get sick of the brownies. Obviously that’s a very vague way of saying, and please don’t take it seriously other than a light analogy lmao. Just because you bought a brownie from the bakery doesn’t mean you don’t like cupcakes, it’s just what you chose(or, were attracted to and fell in love with).
I LOVE this video so much lovely ladies..... Hey MISO!... I hope you girls are safe and travelling with sacred speed.... See you three soon I hope.... Adore you Brilliantly NRV SinYrs, Charlemagne🎼🎼🎼🎼🎼🎼⚕⚕🧚🧚♣♣♣♣🎼🎼♾♾🗝🗝🗝🗝
Hi from the UK. I’ve just found you two on you tube. Loving the calm vibes you each portray uniquely. I’ve had an interesting month with regards to being open about my own bisexuality! I’m in my mid 40s and have been married to a guy for almost 20 years. We’ve three kids. As all the kids are hitting their teens this month I came out to them as bisexual. In turn two out of three of them have also come out to us as bisexual too! It honestly wasn’t that much of a surprise as we’ve always been frank about gender not being important in relation to who you love. Looking forward to more of your videos. Lots of love. X
what a great video!! your example of piper from orange is the new black reminded me of callie from grey's anatomy BUT this they actually handled bisexuality well and talked about it
Great video! Thank you, Lilian. When I came out as a bi man in my late forties after a divorce, I thought gay friends whom I had known for many years would be supportive. NOPE... instead I experienced what I came to call "gay fundamentalism". It was a cold and judgemental response to my naive understanding of the sexual politic at the time. It saddened me because I had seen so many gay men and lesbians be battered by religious (right) dogma. As time went by, I decided not to tell gay men I was with that I was bi. My observation is that straight people need you to be straight (it's their issue), and many gay folks need you to be gay (also their issue). Me... I am sexually attracted to... sex with good people I am attracted to.
You made very good points. I have to admit that it's hard for me to accept bisexuality, especially that most of spoke persons are super attractive individuals who just can do whatever they want, as a result it's easy to start being jealous and if the jealousy gets out of control also kind of aggressive and negative about it (not in my case though :) ). I think also LGBT community is full of people who are just struggling with their identity and are insecure (me for example), which also easily triggers negative attitudes. There is just a lot more work to be done towards accepting and giving the same social value to LGBT people as to straight people. Happy pride month!
I love this video. Do you feel hostility from the general Gay & Lesbian community for being Bisexual ? Or even mistrusted by Lesbians for sleeping with men. Or dare I say it, disrespecting the "Sisterhood" ? I wonder how many women are in same gender relationships, but keep thier bisexuality in the closet ?
I have the dilemma: bisexual or pansexual? Cause I just started flirting and “exploring” with other girls (but does that make my bicurious?) and I don’t want to make me feel pressed NOT to do smt serious, bc I never had these kind of experiences before, but in the same time I don’t think it would be any different if a guy came in my life and then tell me: “you know what? I was born female” or the opposite! So what does that make me? And why is it so important in the end of the day, cause whenever I overthink about it I feel that I have to put a lebel, that in fact I don’t!!
Personally I think bisexual and pansexual can be used interchangeably, at least I do. Some people think that bisexual means that trans/nonbinary folks are excluded but that would be very problematic. So yeah I think not getting so hooked on a specific term is the best way - that’s why I like the flexibility of the umbrella term queer
Proud Badass Bisexual. I have had long term relationships with women and with men. I was never confused. I understood my masculine side since my childhood. We are committed long term partners.
In my experience not disclosing if you have a male partner or even other lovers in general can be detrimental to the person who desires just to be with you alone. It is not fair to them because if they knew you had other lovers or even a male partner we should be free to choose NOT to be with you. It is lying by omission. I wouldn't want to always be suspicious I've left one partner for that very reason. If you have to question their motives, perhaps you weren't meant for each other. Some people like the thrill of deception. But to take an unsuspecting partner who may not want to play along is particularly cruel. I think boundaries should always be part of the discussion. If you aren't comfortable with a certain boundary, then perhaps it's not a good fit. In example, if someone says a deal breaker for them is cheating, if you decide to cross that boundary is more than testing the theory, it expressly the opposite of the boundary, which maybe it's sabatoge of the relationship.
I am bisexual, and headz think I am straight! Reason being, I have been in nothing but heterosexual relationships, and I am always kicking it 2 woman. I am attracted to men and women equally.
Thank you so much Lillian for making this video! You totally expressed all of the feelings that I’ve had and fears related to my bisexuality. I I often feel nervous when I go to queer lady bars that I won’t be taken seriously or because I’m very femme-presenting assumed that I’m not “real. “. It makes me nervous to flirt with cute girls! Perhaps you can speak to that in future videos. Thanks again
Well - well, what about - you're a curious hybrid extraterrestrial from a parallel timeline wondering why people in this world still don't get that attraction on the SOUL level can be the true foundation of any relationship, regardless of sex ;) cool xox
i came out very late, not just because of the general phobia but also because i felt like i am not allowed to say i am queer, when bisexual. so i guess alot of bi people who say out loud " i am queer" has a double story of biphobia behind them, i guess. thanx for ur words
bisexual for me is just another sexual orientation. homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, etc. they are just different, we just have to respect ourselves and accept our differences 😘
I am straight but there's many time i am attracted to woman romantically but not sexually like i would like to kiss them and i did kiss a girl and it felt good but i don't like them sexually idk what that's called 🤔🤔😂
And also the stereotype agains bisexual is a lot more often seen on women than in men. A bisexual men is usually seen as “ok he is probably gay and doesn’t want to admit it” but for women coming out as bisexual it’s like “oh she wants to look hot in front of men or she is doing it for attention”... it’s very messed up. There should be a new term for someone who is literally attracted to both genders 😂
I love you did this video. I am actually doing a documentary on this too. I am biracial because my mother is white and from Scotland and my father is black American and I am bisexual (pansexual) but in reality I say queer. I'm married to a transgendered male who was born a female to a Korean traditional family. So you can imagine our struggles. To add on to that I do not look white or black and my daughter from my first marriage is half-Asian and the labels and presumptions we receive regarding our race and racial slurs here in the south, that are horrible to say and yet are not even ours, is insane.
What are your thoughts about where different women stand in terms of their representation or lack thereof possibly ? For instance if a woman is bisexual but is monogamous with a man and chooses not to identify as bisexual- is she private/straight passing or closeted even? because not everyone had the same news or incentive to be open/out. Am I wrong to feel that an attraction alone when someone has no reason to act on it isn’t serious enough to warrant attaching oneself to a label ?
I was actually addressing that too when I filmed this video but then it was all over the place. The word "bi" is problematic and another reason why I prefer the term queer for being more flexible, and pansexual could also be fitting but straight people barely know what that is. Anyway, consider non-binary and anyone regardless of gender orientation included, and I know it's the same for a lot of other bisexuals. I guess this could be a topic for another video :)
I believe that this is just another myth about bisexuals ;-) Yes, there is a term 'pansexual' that describes attraction to all the genders but i guess most of the community uses both of them based on which one they feel more comfortable with, since bisexuality doesn't exlude non-binary or gender-nonconforming people. In conclusion it's all up to you which term you are using :-)
@@annajones2232 Not everyone applies the bi part to gender though. For me personally it means I'm attracted to masculinity and femininity. I use bi because I the "attracted to people regardless of gender" definition of pansexuality doesn't really feel like it fits me. I am explicitly attracted to gender expression(of course the person' s personality and how I get along with them also matters :D) so feminine and masculine attributes, physical and otherwise . It just doesn't matter to me whether the person's gender identity is binary or not and even if they are they don't have to be exclusively feminine or masculine. You're totally right about labels not being that important. They can however facilitate communication because they are concise and they can also be comforting because it's nice to have a word for how you feel. But of course one word can never encompass the entirety of your feelings or your sexuality.
you are my favorite couple now on youtube!! You look like me and also I am bisexual. Plus your girl looks like my type also so reallly in love with u!!!
i discovered that i have hocd，i fantasise about men，men are always in my mind rent free，even feel like iam in love with multiple men at a same time yet i have this intrusive thoughts of being bi，what should i do？
I've never related to anything more. When I came out to my mom as bisexual, she told me it would be easier for her to understand if I was fully lesbian. I remember her asking me if I have the ability to date a man, why did I choose to have a girlfriend instead.
Back when I was in high school, I thought my friend, who said she was bisexual, actually wasn't because I'd never seen her with a girl. Fact is, bisexual people are still bisexual, no matter who they date. At the time, though, I didn't really understand that. My own personal biases got in the way and I that was a bit harmful, even though my friend never knew what my thoughts were -- as if it were any of my business anyway, but I digress. Bisexual people need more respect so misconceptions like the ones I had years ago don't get spread around.
I noticed in a video that you mentioned that you think that attraction in genders exists in a spectrum... this is an opinion that I have heard many times from bisexual people... and although I empathize with many problems that they face, it makes me frustrated to hear it from them...this opinion implies that straight or gay people are somehow damaged for not being able to have this 'flexibility' and some bisexuals even express it with a sense of grandiosity so to speak! Your sexual attraction never changes, the proportion of your attraction to genders yes it can.... but for straight or gay people the only thing that can change is the amount of sympathy or emotional intimacy that we can feel for others, not our sexuality....
Lilian... your videos are always helpful. There are days when I feel so low, and you with your clarity really help. Some of the sentences you said in other videos, really helped in moving on.
