A lot of adults were not taught about how to handle money from out parents, I know I wasn't. I made it a goal to educate and question my nieces and nephews about it. I found this blog which helped a lot and I sent it to them (they are preteens) - millennialsvsmoney.com/raising-financially-responsible-children/
That sounds awesome! But if I was your son...and I did alot of chores and asked you for something and you said no....I would accept that....but if you said " clean the bathroom" I would say Yes Ma'am and clean it! Not because I would be getting something, but because you told me to! Js
I used to get a small allowance and at 13 I sat down my parents to have a serious talk with them. Telling them my classmates went to see a movie every Monday and my allowance was only half the ticket price. Their answer: "Need more money? Get a job then!" Me: "But I'm 13!" About a week later they told me they found me a job babysitting the neighbor's toddler who lived in the same building. The money I made there didn't only make me feel extremely proud and grown up but also prevented teenage pregnancy.
Never had an allowance as a kid. My parents bought me things I needed and honestly, I never felt a need to have an allowance. 🙂 I also knew how to appreciate money this way when I started making some or I got some for my birthday 🙂
In a world that capitalises on everything it very hard to accept full financial dependency. Imagine you, an adult woke up one day to know that your rent and electric and other basic needs are all paid for but you get no money besides that. In order to have to get something that makes you happy you have to do some insane amount of paperwork and requesting. You would be very dissatisfied with your life. In an objective sense you have everything you could need. But there are something's that you aquire just because you feel your life will be a bit better with it. When you are a child, you don't work or when you do you don't have a very high end job. Definitely not the most highly paying job you will ever have. Why? Because you go to school, you are still young and there is no way for you to have the resources to support yourself. But your fundamental human nature doesn't change. There are still things you may not need but you do want. And your parents will probably only see very few of them worth getting. Will your mother stop every few days to satisfy your chocolate craving? Will your dad see the reason why you absolutely need a specific eyeshadow palette? These are things that some money given by your parents, who cannot satisfy every thing you want but are willing to let you get for yourself can buy. They do not need to know everything in your drawers and closets. They can just let you choose to get the few things that you want with the limited money they give you so you won't have to tear your hair out convincing them.
parijat shukla your logic is flawed. It’s based on the premise that children are the social equals of adults. There is a good reason a parent would say no to satisfying a daily chocolate craving or why that palette of eye shadow is not necessary. Children do not have the same level of knowledge and experience and wisdom that adults have. Therefore their wants; decisions and desires are not always good or wise. This is also why parents are responsible for supervision of children, in many areas of life. A child is and should be financially dependent on adult control and supervision. It is not and should not be viewed as a humiliating thing during childhood. This is not about needs of human nature, it’s about parents being in charge when children do not have the maturity and skills to manage things themselves.
Same here! I started making money when I was 8 by collecting pop cans and I appreciated my first pay from that more than anything! Now I keep that way of thinking never lost it. I value and am very careful with my hard earned money.
I live in a different country and I don’t think allowance is a thing. Which is why I’m kinda iffy about it. My parents provided me with everything I needed and if I wanted to buy something that was more expensive or not a necessity we talked about it and figured out some kind of deal. They also gave me money whenever I asked for it. But they never “payed” me for chores, since that’s something we all have to help with regardless of what we might get from it.
My son got an allowance just for existing. It was not tied to chores or doing the basics for himself. We started in kindergarten with $50 a month. Many parents would gasp at that amount, but there was a reason. Half of it went into a savings fund, so that left $25. That covered any books, treats, toys, etc. It stopped the whining at the store of 'I want...' because I would ask 'do you have enough money? All of a sudden he had to assess the situation. I'm going to say 85% of the time he put things back because they weren't worth it. If he wanted big ticket items he had to save up for to get them. Every year his allowance went up. In middle-school he saved his money & did extra chores around the neighborhood & saved up for his very own flat-screen TV (this was back when they were new thing). I'm going to say that he learned to shop to stretch his money by shopping smarter, price comparison, coupons & saving up for sales. He had his own ATM in high school. We supplied basic no frills sneakers. If he wanted the fancier ones he had to pony up the rest of the money, which he rarely did. His allowance paid for going out w/ his friends, movies, books, hobbies, etc. We didn't have to deal with "mom I need money', because he knew what he had to spend. It saved us money, because we saw what other parents were shelling out. Once in college he worked & had his own money. He paid for his own tuition, books etc. by looking for deals on used books (renting, too), saving & using the money he had saved up every month since kindergarten. He graduated w/ only $7,000 worth of student loan debt. I'm going to say that giving money to our son helped him to save & use his money wisely. No regrets.
This is an interesting perspective. It's definitely a valid albeit lesser utilised approach. Reading it, i find myself inexplicably thinking of someone I know whose Mom inadvertently established a pattern of buying away bad feelings for one of their kids throughout their life. Any upset or mishap, this mom would throw money at the situation and buy things to cheer the daughter up. Unfortunately, decades later, the daughter has yet to learn how to deal with the difficult bits of life without doing that. She's run herself into debt repeatedly and with greater consequence throughout her adult life. Her mom continued til the day she died trying to fix everything with money and also overextended herself financially in doing so, lost her home even. Family members and friends were forever bailing this woman out and offering a safety net with their carefully saved and managed money whilst the woman just recklessly squandered everything. She's defrauded numerous financial institutions and worked underhand/illegal deals to avoid responsibility for her financial chaos. Its always someone elses fault and she never stops or even curbs her spending. I don't think the op's method would work as well for every kid out their as it did for her sun, he seems paticularly ammenable to it, but all the samr, i can't help but think it would have saves most if not all of the financial hardship inflicted by the reckless selfish woman described above if the mother could have done this instead of what she did.
Exactly how my mom did it with my brother and me. And I think it taught us well. We didn't start out in Kindergarten and it wasn't the same amount, but that depends on where you live, too. I got a job when I finished school at 17 to spend some time in Spain, and also worked for the whole time I went to university now. I am not in debt, I know the value of money and I think I learned pretty early in life how good it feels to work hard to get something and then finally getting it. I kinda geht what she is trying to say, though. There are more than one right way to teach your kids.
My parents did the exact same. It started with a small amount, and kept growing as I got older. First it was to buy things I wanted, later it was also to buy gifts for friends and later for clothes. I would get twice a year 1 full outfit (coat, shoes, pants etc) and the rest was on me. My student debt was 1500 euros and I paid that back in a year. I am really good at saving money, putting money into funds and never had to ask ever someone for money which I am proud of. I had to do chores in the house and I did them, but not because my allowance was depending on it but because it was just our contribution to the household. I didn’t ask my parents for “fun” because it was there and all extra’s were on me. Did I buy candies? Yes I did but once I learned if I wanted good things I needed to save I stopped that. I feel like I benefited hugely from getting that allowance and the reasoning of mayim is not one I can relate to nor would I ever enforce on my own family if I were ever getting one.
I’ve been giving a small allowance ($2/week) to my children since they were 5. My reasons are as follows: 1. My husband and I model frugality daily and we speak honestly and appropriately about money with our children. But just as I wouldn’t expect them to learn to use a pencil simply by watching and talking about it I also don’t expect them to learn about money without first hand experience. The allowance I give them is a tool for hands on learning experiences. 2. It helps them evaluate their own values in terms of luxury. I provide for all their needs so everything they would buy is a want but I think it’s important for them to evaluate which of their wants add the most benefit to their life (because they can’t afford them all) and what cost are they willing to pay for that want or luxury. 3. Watching them interact with their own money gives me insight into their developing personalities. This insight allows me to see where I might adjust my parenting to help develop their values and responsibility. 4. Having “their own money” reduces shopping behavior issues because if they want something not on my list they have to have enough of their own money with them in order to purchase it. I don’t pay for chores, or for hygiene. I will pay extra for those more laborious jobs as were mentioned in the video. Although if they don’t complete their chores I will offer to do the chore for them if they’d like to pay me - although they usually can’t afford my rate 😉
Brianna Bickley. True growing up our allowance was usually twice a month and it was candy money. It was considered a treat. As we got older it was more and for stuff like roller skating or a movie. And yes if you learned to be frugal with it you saved up to get something you really wanted. Chores were not optional, if not done you lost privileges.
I grew up with an allowance for “snack” money. Did not get paid to do chores. They are considered part of your daily routine. If I wanted something frivolous, my parents told me to save my allowance. But the funny thing is, once I saved up enough money, I did not want to spend it just in case there’s something better that comes along and I won’t be able to afford it. It taught me how to budget.
Ana Oh Yes but thats also a large amount of money all at once. Although it is a valuable skill, it makes it a lot harder for children to learn impulse control over the long term. Its not real life to go for long periods of time without any money and then suddenly get a whole bunch, adults get paid every 2 weeks to a month and have to budget for things accordingly. When those birthdays come, having a regular small allowance makes it easier to evaluate the actual value of that money in comparison to how many weeks it takes for that child to make the money via allowance.
I grew up getting an allowance, but it wasn't connected to behavior. I simply got it to understand the concept of money. If I wanted something I could safe up for it myself. It probably started with like 50 cents a week as a little girl up to 10 euros as a pre-teen. I got an allowance until I got my first job at 16 working at McDonald's :p. From that point I had to pay for my own cell phone plan, to add some extra responsibility into the money management. When I was 14 I became a vegetarian, and because my parents found it a bit difficult and I loved cooking and exploring foods, they challenged me to do my own grocery shopping for a month with 20 euros a week. This ended up becoming a thing for 4 years until I moved out at 18. I'm 23 now and I'm literally the only one of my friends who can actually manage my expenses to the point where I know exactly what comes in, what goes out and what is saved etc. So for me having an allowance from such a young age, really benefited me as an adult.
I didn’t get an allowance and I don’t have children, but I remember when my niece began receiving an allowance. She quickly began to understand the value of money. Before that, it was difficult to make her understand. She saved to buy things she wanted and if they broke easily or she outgrew something quickly, she would regret the purchase and become more selective moving forward. It really taught her to save, delay gratification, and think about needs rather than wants. I think it’s one of the many reasons she manages money so well today.
Let me say, first, that I completely support your decision not to give your kids an allowance. This is *NOT* at all meant to be a criticism of your decision. But I do give my kids an allowance. I don't give it in exchange chores. I just give them a small amount. And the reason that I give it to them is the same reason I give them pencils and books and other things: I want them to practice using them. I want them to have had some money, I want them to spend it, and then I want them to know what it feels like to want something but have spent the money they had. They have chores, but they're not tied to the allowance. We do have extra chores that they can do for pay if they want. But that's up to them. As far as age for our kids: We started them with a weekly allowance at 5. The amount was $0.25 per year of age. So at 5 they got $1.25. We had them save 10%, giveaway 10% and then do whatever they wanted with the other 80%. We stopped allowances for our oldest 2 at 16 when they got drivers licenses and could reasonably go get a job. The younger 2 will stop allowance at 16 as well when they get there. Are there other ways to teach about the value of money? Of course! But an allowance was just easier for our family. Glad to hear you found some other way to teach your kids!
We use this concept too. I didn't want chores tied to allowance, but wanted her to learn to give, spend, and save. Chores are expected, as she is part of the household (and also will some day need to know how to do all this on her own); and if she wants to earn money, we have extra chores she can do.
This is exactly what most parents in Germany do. Kids get allowance usually around the age that they start school, not in exchange for anything, so that they can learn about money. The amount increases with age because activities like going to the movies don't include the parents any more, so kids pay for themselves with their allowance. In the beginning it's just enough to buy some candy or save it up for a cheap toy. I liked growing up like this!
That's how I was raised, minus the saving and giving away. It was entirely my decision what to do with my allowance (all gift money, or any other money I came into though had to go into my savings account for college). Conversely, my husband never got an allowance and he is still crappy with money.
@Tomorrow is another Day My parents tried the give up one of your old toys to get a new one trick. Then they felt bad for me never getting any new toys, and they dropped that stupid idea.
I think allowance can be a good tool if used right. My sister and I got an allowance, but half of it always went into a savings account that we had to deposit at the bank ourselves. Because of our allowance, we were able to make our own decisions and buy what we wanted, but that meant our parents almost never bought us stuff (other than school supplies). I'm grateful for it because it taught me how money worked, and taught me how to make good choices. They stopped giving us allowance when we could legally work, and I've worked for my money ever since.
I was thinking this also. My dad also told me that school was my job and I needed to study and do well. I was in no way being paid to go to school or being rewarded for good grades, however school was a "job" and I was expected to do well.
I agree and the way you describe is much the way we give allowances in our family. My son has had an bank account, that he is responsible for balancing, since he was 8 years old. Every other week his allowance is transferred into that account and the other weeks he receives cash. While he doesn't get an allowance for doing his normal chores he does earn money for doing certain "extra" chores that have a preset earning amount. Therefore his allowance fluctuates week to week. In my opinion this prepares him for the working world by teaching him that to earn money you need to choose to work hard. It also teaches him how to manage money and to save for items you really want. At 10 years old he has purchased both video game systems he owns through money he saved from his allowance. Our daughter is younger so we haven't started this with her yet but we are planning to soon.
I think I started to give my 3 year old twins an allowance so they could emulate dad's responsibility to pay for necessary things and to buy special things with left over money. Sometimes it takes a long time to buy special things.
I never got paid for doing chores. But my mum always made sure we received a monthly amount of money regardless of the chores. She just wanted us to have a little money to buy ourselves things we wanted and she made us get our big things like bikes, etc. I remember I felt very proud of myself when I got my first bike all by myself with my little monthly money.
But the fact is that you didn't do it "all by yourself" you paid for it with free money. In my opinion, this is worse than doing it for chores. At least with chores you're doing some work. But with this it prepares you to get free money for doing no work. Like benefits and welfare
German parents are the same (at least mine). You help. No discussion. But if I wanted to go to the cinema with friends I also got money for that. But it was not for the work it was because my parents are nice and wanted me to have fun.
In Romania parents get a certain amount of money from the government for each child they are caring for. We call that allowance. If the family is not strained financially and you are a bit older, parents might let you have that money. At least mine did. I don't know how it works now, but back in the day we received a small notebook with one page for each month and we would go to the post office and the lady at the counter would rip off the page corresponding to the previous month and give us the amount specified there. My parents would encourage me to save the money (basically postpone going to the post office, so when I did, I could take out a couple of months' worth all at once). They'd ask what I planned on doing with it and shared their thoughts on that. Otherwise, I had to ask if I needed/wanted something that I couldn't get on my own and they'd decide if it was possible. They'd usually give me some small change for bus tickets or a snack at school (if I ran out of money, though not necessarily - as the only child in a family of average means I was a quite spoiled).
This is not true. Its not called an allowance, but we do get money, most kids do. And we use it for when we go to school, to buy extra food or snacks, buy whatever you want and need aand you need to have enough leftover if you plan to do something with your friends. Example, if you want to go to an arcade or a movie, they will bring u there but you should have money for your own ticket.
Hi everyone. I do give my son an allowance (or pocket money as we call it) because it helps him to learn how to manage his money, to save up for things he really wants. He only gets it if he's done everything expected of him like keeping his room tidy, doing his homework etc. This works fine for us but I appreciate it doesn't fit with everyone. (He's 11 btw) We are also a thrifty family, I don't get my nails done (or anything else) either, I even cut and colour my own hair, I buy new clothes once a year.
When I was younger, my allowance was very important to me. It gave me the freedom to buy my own stuff and pay for my own soft drinks or candy when I was out with my friends. Buying a youth magazine (it's called Bravo and is still sold in my country today) was also very important to me. I didn't get the money for doing my chores, they were a part of our daily life, but being in school and unable to work in my free time, I'm very glad that my mother gave us some money to spend. My sisters and I didn't have to ask her every now and then when we needed some money and I think that's a very important part: Not asking for every gum, lollipop or magazine gave us some freedom we wouldn't have had otherwise until we were old enough to work after school. I also felt very guilty whenever I had to ask my mother for money. My weekly allowance helped a lot with that.
I agree with everything you wrote ( are you from Poland? I remember "Bravo"). I have never received allowance from my parents, more from lack of money rather than from any conscious parenting decision. I had a ton of chores from a very early age like cleaning the whole house with my sister starting from age 7 and it would have not occured to me to disobey or demand payment. However, I do not consider allowance to be a payment for doing chores around the house, which I absolutely agree that kids should not be paid for. In my opinion, getting allowance is a way of showing respect for your children. By sharing a tiny portion of the family money parents do not demonstrate their "superiority" just because they have the financial upper hand as in "we pay for your food/roof over your head etc., we control you, we are the bosses so you need to ask/beg for every tiny thing you want". I would have appreciated that kind of respect when I was young and dependent on my parents to survive.My daughter gets $3 a week and usually just enjoys keeping it in her little wallet and feeling very grown up. Until she is big enough to earn her own money, I want her to feel she deserves this allowance just because she is a part of the family, just like she deserves a home, food on the table, education etc.
@@sylel223 I agree with your thinking. If helping around the house is in keeping with being included in being an active member of the house, "sharing" a little of the income that comes in from the parents being able to work outside the home to earn money, should also be a part of being an active, participant of the house. Adults get to indulge sometimes, so why can't children be given an opportunity to choose their indulgences, (within reason and age appropriateness), without depending on the parents' determination of what is important to them. :)
My parents did exactly the same thing. I a weekly allowance. We were not paid to do chores. Was told to save my allowance if I wanted to buy frivolous things. 😊 It taught me how to budget and save.
Haha. I still remember the concept of pocket money being introduced to me by my best friend. I must have been about 8. I was so confused, like, “Your parents just _give_ you money...?”
I say there are more pros than cons to giving allowance. My nephew is 13 and in his mind he does all the budgeting of what he wants based of what he gets. I don’t think he considers asking his parents for “their” money. He saves, etc. also he borrows from them, asks for extra jobs, and yes negotiates. But never straight out asks, hey will you buy this for me? I’m sure they had more conversation than: you do chores you get money. I definitely think they explain things along the way. But this is just one kids story. I’m sure there are many ways to do things, and each kid is different. Just from my personal experience I think it’s a good idea.
My sisters and I had the same experience growing up. We got a monthly allowance. If we didn't do our chores, poor on our homework and things like that, we didn't get any allowance. Me in particular didn't do quite a few of my chores and was somewhat lazy when it came to school. Many times I saw my sisters get allowance while I didn't. I got better over time. And now we still don't like to ask our mom for money because we feel we haven't earned it.
I got monthly allowance as a child, since age 9: all the money I would need for lunch in school and going out with friends in the weekends for an entire month upfront. My single mom was and still is so bad with money management that in the end of the month I'd have some savings to borrow her to buy some bread. I was so grateful I could just rely on myself and that's how I learned money management, paid my university, and still living without loans and debts.
I had an allowance from the time I started school, to buy myself snacks, to save up for gifts for family and friends, etc.. Yes, I bought mostly junk food with my money, but also learned about saving for bigger things, and giving to others in need. My husband, on the other hand, was never given an allowance when he was growing up. The way he spends money as an adult drives me up the wall, as it's about instant gratification instead of prioritizing needs and wants. Our daughter is just two, and it'll be interesting to see how we choose to tackle this allowance issue when she's older.
I agree. Having an allowance is linked to having responsibility to use it wisely. The job for parents is helping to prepare for adulthood. There's not enough economic education.
Everybody lives in the house, everybody contributes. As long as it's age appropriate then chores are part of everyday life. Schools (or parents if home schooled) teach children how to survive in the work place. Parents teach children how to survive life.
I didn't get pocket money as a kid and it was extremely hard for me. Other kids could buy the occasional comic book or save up. I am great with money now, but for example terrible at buying myself food because I never used to be able to do that. I didn't eat lunch after school on many days. Also you just don't want your parents to know about every little thing you buy or might want to buy. I remember stealing a postcard once that had all 150 pokemon on it. It can be frustrating in the long run to have no choices at all.
Same. My parents would buy us stuff if we wanted, but it was pretty frustrating as a teen to have to ask for every little thing, especially since I didn’t have a lot freedom in other ways.
Yeah, my parents just didn't have money, so until I was 16 and got a job, I had 0 spending money. To this day, I have a hard time knowing what I like when clothes shopping and I think it's because I never got to pick out my own clothes ever (lived off of hand me downs).
My parents never gave me an allowance, they provide me with food, an education and clothing. When I wanted something extra they’d buy it or say no. I had to work in the fields if I wanted extra spending money. I disliked it but oh boy did it teach me about making money and the importance of saving and spending wisely. I never stole money even when other kids had brand clothing or fancy gadgets. I just told myself they’re parents were well off so they could afford to spend on such luxuries. So I decided to get good grades so I can make money and buy myself what I wanted but also not splurge my money on unnecessary items.
@@jaceyjacobs4013 I think having an issue with asking for every little thing is an issue with communication with parents and maybe wanting too much? I mean theres a time and age right where you can buy everything you want. Your parents know better and think more about the things you want. Looking back, if my parents did give me everything I had asked for I really would be regretting it today. And I dont know why it seems so wierd to go shopping or doing things with your parents? You can pick the clothes and have the "freedoms" as you say. Honestly your comment sounds a bit on the complainy/whiney side. Sorry i dont mean any offence, but I think your problems could have been easily solved from your side.
I received an allowance from early age on, 7 or something, starting with 50ct per week. One day I wanted a baby born kitchen (150$ at the time) and I asked my mom how many weeks I would have to save to buy it. When she said "several years" it really made me realize value and cost of things and that I didn't want a baby born kitchen enough to save for several years. Till this day I think that is such an important lesson and also being able to really decide what you're gonna spend your money on and a especially what you're NOT gonna spend your money helped me to be responsible with my financials till this day. Anyway, just a little story. :) I'm sure there is many right ways.
Allowance is actually a good thing. I've had allowance for my whole school life and that's helped a lot. I don't ask my parents for additional money if I need something in school or have to pay for certain activities. It's my way of helping them out while I'm in school instead of hogging everything financially. I paid half of my ps4 for my birthday, games are mine to buy, I managed to buy myself a Nike off of the sales I made selling chocolates using my allowance as capital. In fact, I pay for most of my things, braces (monthly payment comes from my sales), clothes (I buy off of thrift stores, parents rarely buy any for me), equipment and supplies for my aquarium (which I bought) and more. It really does help me since I can budget a lot of my money without relying on my parents too much. Sometimes I don't even ask for my allowance when they forget to give me some for the week.
Well they must be giving you quite a bit of money for your allowance. But as a parent we can’t control what children buy unless we handle the money. If my kids want an expensive game console I will decide if they can use the money I provide to buy one. It’ll all depend of how well they’re graces are, how respectful they are at school or at home etc....
@@ivettefrias89 nope, just plain simple $6 a week. It took me a while to build that capital. I agree with the attitude control though, I mostly act accordingly and I'm nothing like that arrogant kid who gets his stuff bought for him and breaks it within the next few months.
Yeah, I don't know. I think $6 is quite a lot if you consider that you make about $1 a day, no matter what. That never happens in "real", adult life. It's not my place to judge and I am just here to read the comments because I have a 4 year old so I'm just starting to think about these things. But I'd probably rather put that $6 a week onto a bank account and give it to my child when he's older.
I don’t think kids should be given an allowance for doing a few chores, house work should be divided equally based on age and ability (you’re not going to split chores 50/50 with a 5 year old, but a 8 year old can certainly do a few more things than a 5 year old). But I do agree, going out and doing yard work whether that be mowing, weed whipping, weeding the garden or things like that; do deserve some sort of compensation. Especially for a kid, those tasks can be very challenging.
I relate to the bit about wearing the same clothes over and over that made me chuckle 😂 As a charity shop volunteer I appreciate your use of them, thanks for being so real 💕
I don't give mine an allowance either and I don't use the word chore. Here you're responsible for caring for our home. And yes, they can earn money and do. My 11 year old son earned $20 for helping fix a ride on lawn mower we had. It wasn't his responsibility so he earned money. But I'm not going to pay them to clean up their crumbs and pick up their underwear.
That’s how it is at our house. If they do extra work to save for something big/expensive then that is fine. A regular allowance though just doesn’t happen.
I think children having fixed responsibilities and being paid for anything outside of it actually connects money to chores more than a fixed allowance. I have many positive childhood memories of helping my parents with big multi-day tasks, which wouldn’t have felt the same if I was being paid each time. I felt part of the family, in the same sense as my parents: If something needed doing and I was there and capable of helping, then I did. I never felt that my allowance was tied to the ordinary housework I did. The allowance was just a practical way of ensuring that I could occasionally buy something without having to ask my parents for it.
I didn't get an allowance myself. Technically I did, but they never paid it. I am now in my 30s, and learning hard lessons about finances I didn't know existed before. I think kids should get an allowance, but I think it should be something you and your partner agree on.
I got an allowance and as a teenager, I learned that “managing money” isn’t about spending as little money as possible. It’s about how you spend the money you got. If you want to follow up on all of the fashion trends as they come in, sure, why not? However, that means you’re going to have to cut something else, like less nights out at restaurants or cheaper apartment or something
I also learned that that’s one of the reasons why lottery winners often go bankrupt. Money is about prioritizing. Big sums of money doesn’t mean “you can get everything”, it means “what do you want to spend it on?”
@@theamolden3166These are the lessons I'm learning. And I'm having trouble balancing the two actually. Typically, I spend too much, and have to cut off my leisure spending completely for a few weeks/ a month. I can't quite seem to get the hang of how much I have to spare, and still build up my account. But I am working on it.
@Mike M It's not about the value of money, it's sbout learning to handle a limited ressource. You should learn to handle money as soon as possible, maybe when starting school. And at that age you should not have a part time job. In Germany you may have a job at the age of 14 or 16. Everything before the age of 13 is not allowed by law. So you are restricted to helping your family, maybe your neighbours. You should definitely learn to handle money before that age.
@Mike M but have you never done a boat load of yard work, and then a nice steak dinner? Hard day at work, and had a beer? It's a treat, and once and a while, you should be treating yourself, its healthy when kept within reason. Just us as parents/adults do it differently. Nothing wrong with giving a kid some change once and a while for being a good help, or doing something extra. Side note, I'd love to hang out with the kid that wants a steak for a treat, but most kids I know want pokemon lol....
I gave my daughter an allowance because I never got an allowance. I feel it did teach her how to handle money. She use to go with me to thrift stores and hated it. But as she got older and worked to make her own money she LIKED thrift stores and yard sales. When she was about 11-12 she saved her money to join an ice skating class because one of her friends was taking that class as well. She has always been good with math so I encouraged her to go in that direction. She works in the finance department to this day for a bus company.
My allowance was the roof over my head, the food in my belly, the cloth on my back, the shoes on my feet, the glasses I wear, the bed I sleep in, the blankets I use, the gas, electricity, the T.V, ect... oh don't forget the icecream.
A lot of adults were not taught about how to handle money from out parents, I know I wasn't. I made it a goal to educate and question my nieces and nephews about it. I found this blog which helped a lot and I sent it to them (they are preteens) - millennialsvsmoney.com/raising-financially-responsible-children/
I got allowance BUT it was never tied to help cleaning :-) In our family everyone had a tasks and there was one day a week where the whole house was cleaned ( saturday......) and in summer f.e. it was my task to water the garden when the sun went down. On top of my saturday- tasks to clean the stairs and the bathroom and on top of helping every friday with shopping food for the week, my sisters had other things they needed to do. I never got money for tasks, just a general allowance. But I would also not get presents outside of birthdays/ celebrations ect. I wanted a comic -> allowance, I wanted to go to the movies with friends -> allowance, I wanted to buy birthday/christmas presents -> allowance. That way I had to budget. Do I really need that comic/magazine now? Or do I want to go see that movie with friends? Christmas in in two month.... Now that I think about it my parents asked my if they should buy me stuff or if they should give me an allowance but then they wouldn't buy anything anymore. I choose allowance, because I wanted the freedom to buy comics f.e. which they wouldn't have bought me honestly. But it did me good. I got into drawing and I got a degree in illustration :-) Wow that was long. Sorry XD I think it's just a general misconception that you get allowance for help cleaning the house. My friends also didn't get money for cleaning. But it's different in every family :-)
I love this! I have never given my children an allowance...helping out around the house is part of being an active member in our family. Do I give them money when needed, yes...but it’s not a reward for helping take care of the house. We all live here, and we all need to help take care of our space!
I agree. Allowance for chores in the house? I think that's nonsense. My brother and I always did the chores, we had to do, together, so they were done pretty fast:)
Exactly my parents were the same way and I was as well. We always found odd jobs around the neighborhood or with our parents to what we wanted. Mostly around neighborhood. Like go to public swimming pool everyday.
My moms thing was she gave me a roof over my head, food in my belly, clothes to wear, and hot water to bathe in and I can definitely wash some dishes lol
Who says that allowances have to or should be tied to chores? Maybe you should give your children the money you would roughly pay for their school supplies, clothing aso and explain to them, that in the future they will have to pay for all this themselves. That will teach them how to actually manage money.
I am on team allowance. I also feel it's important for each family member to help out with chores and that is not tied to allowance. Yes, adults get paid for their jobs but adults still provide food, clothing, and shelter for their children. My thinking is allowances are training for later financial responsibilities. Giving an allowance can be weekly, or even something as simple as a "back to school" allowance for clothing and supplies. Many parents set the allowance starting when the child understands the concept of money (say age five or six) and they get their age (a ten-year-old gets ten dollars a week). BUT parents decide beforehand what the child covers with that money. As in..."Can I go see the new, whatever movie".... "Sure, if you have the funds to pay for it." Also, many parents use a three jar system...part of the allowance goes to savings, part to giving and part to spend.
My sons, who are now 30 and almost 25, never got an allowance but they were given the opportunity to earn money at home. I was a single parent of 2 sons most of their lives so that means lots of odd jobs that "a man" might normally do, i.e. cleaning out the gutters on the steep roof of our house. They had their normal chores but when things came up that were outside their normal chores, gutter cleaning etc., they would negotiate with me on a "payment". Payments were not always money in our house. One year I needed to replace 2 windows in the house and they each pitched in to help their Mom remove the old windows, fix the window sills, install the new windows, etc. The oldest got 2 hours extended to his curfew for the 8th grade dance and the youngest wanted to go away with a friends family for a 2 week vacation, this was what they got for helping me out. You don't need to always pay a child with money to teach them that hard work pays off in lots of different ways.
Sheldon believe in positive reinforcement for good behaviours and negative for bad so a fluctuating allowance based on behaviours where you are essentially paid for the good you do but that money can be docked for bad.
My brother and I never got an allowance either, for the same reasons! It never occurred to me that we should get paid to help out and we also weren't Res asked to do much often. When I was saving up for my first laptop I was given £5 every week but then I was given a schedule of chores that I had to follow which included things like cooking the family meal once a week, not the regular chores I'd be asked to do. I personally think it was the best way, which worked well for our family. We really value money as it's not something we've come to expect every time we need it 😊
I remember on the show 'Everybody Hates Chris', Terry Crews yelling "Allowance? I ALLOW you to live in this house. I ALLOW you to use this gas. I ALLOW you to eat my food. I ALLOW you to turn on these lights..."
I think it's stupid to ask for likes before the main part of the video. "The like" is supposed to rate the quality of the video not to show that you are happy the person uploaded something.
I did get an allowance growing up. I feel like many people have the wrong idea about kids who receive allowance. First, I have to mention, my allowance was $0.50 a week. From 9-12 years of age. We (my brother and I) didn't receive our allowance for expected chores. We received it like a paycheck, that we could save for things like candy or a rented movie. Things my family didn't provide for us. I had to go to my dad with charts and graphs, showing the inflation rate of a candy bar, to get the amount raised to $2. I mentioned this to a friend who said "I wish I had an allowance." To which I asked "if you wanted to go to a movie with a friend, how did you get the money to go?" She said "I asked for it." I explained, "that didn't work in my family. If I didn't have enough allowance saved, I didn't get to go to the movie." Allowance isn't about money for regular chores. It's about understanding financial savings, and that sometimes you can't do something, because you can't afford it.
I used to have an allowance when I was younger. But after a few weeks my parents gave up on it because I was too good keeping track of how much they owed me. (They rarely carried cash) I tallied it up to about $60 before they took allowance away entirely. I was serious about making sure I got paid for my work.
I'm on teenagers #5, 6 & 7 (including 2 foster children). I also used to work with troubled adloscents, learning a lot from pediatric psychologists. My kids get money every week. Every day they have 2 chores (on top of cleaning up their own messes). Those chores are just part of living in a home. If they have completed their chores, then there is a list of extra chores they can do for money, taking it as a job. Now, if they leave mess, they have one reminder to pick it up. If there has to be a 2nd reminder, then they have to do it that minute and they earned an extra chore to also be done right then. They call each other out & friends who were always here, sort of just fallen into our rules. I have walked in to my teen's friend vacuuming my living room. He told me he had to do something because he forgot to clean up after making a sandwich when at our house lol.
That's awesome! Lol. That reminds me of when I was little (probably around 10 years old.) My friend would always make a mess in my room and then leave so I was always left to clean the mess. I would get upset and my parents would tell me I was responsible for my room so I would need to clean it by myself if I didn't ask her to help me. It would happen every time. I got tired of her leaving me with the mess so one time she was over at our house with her parents (who were close family friends) and the minute she arrived I told her that we could play but she had to help me clean up before she left. She said ok. I told her I really meant it, that I was tired of being the only one putting things away after she left. I don't think she believed me. When her parents said it was time to leave, she got up and started walking towards my bedroom door. I got up, blocked the door and told her she wasn't allowed to leave my room until she helped me put the toys back in their place. She started crying to manipulate the situation and her parents and my parents came. I told them what happened and her parents agreed with me. That was the first time she helped me clean up and the last time she attempted to leave without helping me clean up lol. I learned my lesson and so did she.
I support any decision parents make and I think there are valuable lessons on both sides here. My parents gave my siblings and I an allowance starting when we were like 6ish. There were 4 years between us so the jobs got split up equally. Youngest would collect all the trash from around the house, empty smaller waste baskets, etc. Middle helped with washing dishes and doing laundry, oldest took out the trash every week, mowed the lawn in the warmer months and shoveled the driveway in the winter. We would get paid $5, $10, and $15 per week, and once we started driving got $5 for gas to and from school. I also started working when I was 12. I got a job babysitting my neighbors 3 kids and that lasted up until I was 19 when they moved. With each of my siblings, the way we spent money was very different. My brother didn't spend much but bought something if he wanted or needed it (this went mostly towards Sega games), my sister bought everything she had the impulse to buy, and I saved. I saved every dollar I made because at that age there wasn't really much I needed. I occasionally bought a game for my Gameboy or a super adorable stuffed animal and book fair at my school took a decent bit, but by the time I was like 16 I had a few grand saved up and I bought stocks that I picked out myself (I know, a super fun thing that all teenagers are dying to do lol). And in 3 years, when I was in college, instead of going into horrible debt, I went to a community college and had grown that $3k to $15k. I never had to pay student loans. I never had to starve myself. I was able to stay living with my parents and when I turned 18 I stopped getting an allowance and started doing the chores to "earn my keep" so to speak. I know I'm not most kids, but I'm glad I had that opportunity.
In some countries that is actually a thing, because society as a whole is better off and safer if we don't have a lot of desperate homeless people who do who knows what to survive or turn crazy/bitter and disruptive. The goal is always to make sure you can find a job and there are programs for it, but e.g. in Finland homeless people are even given apartments because it is so much easier to give consistent care and get good results from mental health programs if they are available at a fixed address and don't have to be constantly tracked down and won't keep missing appointments. People are way less of a danger to their fellow people if they can survive without resorting to crime.
Il Al in my country family take care of one an other and we do not have homeless people. I’m 22 and i don’t have a job yet but i have my father, mother and big sister giving me money on a monthly basis. And i live with my mother.
I didn’t get an “allowance” per se. Around middle school my parents started giving me lunch money for the week and it was up to me how to spend it. If I wanted to buy something other than food I would have to buy cheaper items or skip lunch so that I could buy items I wanted. Honestly I think it taught me a valuable lesson between using money on necessities (I.e. food) versus luxury items (I.e toys and games) and how to balance between the two.
Myam, I didn't get allowance either. My dad said if you want money set up a lemonade stand. This was 1963 and I made $11 that day and had to pay my mother $3 back for supplies. I learned the value of a dollar. I also learned how to be an entrepreneur. I worked for myself most of the 55 years I worked. I'm an artist and I sold my art I marketed my art, and I found a commercial way for my art to pay me. It was the most valuable lesson I've ever learned not getting allowance. It was perhaps one of the greatest gifts that my father ever gave me.
Well, your kids do get an allowance just not from you. I agree you shouldn't pay for everyday chores around the house, but having your own money is important. There's no better way to learn than through experience and good budgeting skills are crucial in adult life. Dealing with money should start as early as possible, ane obseving how mom spends is something quite different than deciding about your own money and spendings. I plan to give my kids allowance as early as possible and ask them to pay themselves for certain things (present for grandma, cell phone bill, ice cream with friends, partial costs of something "extra"). Everything at age-appropriate level.
100 percent agree and I think that Mayim knows more than all of us combined about "Statistically speaking" and i would really think that statistically speaking, kids who were taught young and consistently about money, how to save, spend, and work for it, i would think statistically they are Much, much better at money all around. And think about how much that helps in life at Any age when you know how to save, spend and handle money!! But I also know that SES (no matter how much a celebrity wants to say they are like you & me) SES Plays a Huuge role in it and they are Not like you & me or your average person. There is Nothing wrong with that it is just a Matter and FACT of having money breeds differences and also how you do things. i.e. parenting....js
Allowance isn't given for helping around, though it can be taken away for not helping, think about it, it works. ;) Also, you say you still buy your kids things, so what's the difference? Back in the day, when I was a kid, I had an allowance, and I could buy what I wanted. If I wanted to spend it on candies, I could, but then if I "needed" a new toy, I couldn't just go to my parents and tell them to buy it, I had to save my allowance and buy it myself. And that included various things, for example my parents, obviously, bought me clothes, but because they were paying for that, they were choosing what I wore, if I wanted something, that was something different, esp. pricier or sth that they didn't like, I had to get it myself. And I could earn additional money not only for some special things, but also everyday chores, but only those that weren't mine to do, so eg. I had to clean my room and I'd never be paid for that, but if my parents wanted me to clean their room, I'd be paid.
My husband and I have very much enjoyed giving our sons an allowance since my first son turned three. (10 years ago.) He received $4.00 dollars a week. One to savings, one dollar went to giving and two dollars went to spending. He did not earn the four dollars a week, he was simply given it. He still had/has chores to do no matter what but it did not have anything to do with his allowance. This prevents them from asking for things in the stores. They ask “may I have that” and I say “do you have enough money?” End of convo. No whining, no begging, just saving. This also teaches them about giving very early and they feel they are giving their own money, not mine. My 13-year-old has since learned how to put his money into investments. Over the last four or five years he bought a dirt bike, paid someone to repair it, sold it, built a small houseboat with my husband shared everything 50-50 sold it. Bought a regular small boat, cleaned it up paid a guy to fix the motor, sold it. This was all done with his money only except for the Houseboat because my husband LOVES houseboats. He recently just sold his first small mobile home. He tripled his money and it was done with only his money and paid dad for his time and worked alongside dad for the repairs, remodel etc. He also baked cakes for a restaurant for a period of time and made money that way which he separated into spend, save, give. All while still continuing to earn an allowance. His allowance is up to $12 a week. My younger son did not start earning an allowance until he was about six. He did not have the same understanding of it so we had to wait. That child gets his chores done every day, has nothing to do with his allowance. $8 a week. This is not enough money to make these children not want to earn more. They take on odd jobs from other people as well as from us and have a desire as adults to make their money work for them through intelligent investments.
I agree with almost all you said except your Rule #1. "You don't get an allowance because I don't get an allowance" seems (and I say this in what I hope is not insulting by any means, cause I love ya!) rather immature. As parents it's our 'job' and responsibility to clean, cook, and care for our kids. The individual parent gets to decide how much of those responsibilities their child will partake in and whether or not they will get an allowance.My daughter does not get a weekly allowance (yet anyways) nor does she earn money by doing her daily chores, but she does get a monetary award for excelling at school. It's a positive reinforcement to do well in school that works for us and also teaches her money management skills as she saves for something she wants to buy and often chooses to donate some of her savings (which makes me one very proud Mama!)
Personally, I don't think money for studying is the right reason (at the same time, not saying that my opinion is somehow superior to yours). I never got any money for studying at school, because my mum did not believe that money should be the reason behind doing that - the reason for children to study is to expand their knowledge, get to know the world as well as represent sth with yourself and become somebody in life. I strongly agree - nowadays, negotations seem to be a thing - kids come to my classes and they think I will negotiate everything with them and make deals - how much homework I can give, what they will do etc - which is not happening since it results in their ultimate goal, which is to do nothing at all, chat about video games and designer clothes (I didn't even know $400 shoes existed when I was 12) and other stuff...
Why don't you do other activities instead of giving your daughter money? You know, there are more valuable things than money: you can go out with her, go to the theater or museum together, a concert, having lunch at a different place, these things, these experiences have more value than money, it's a way of sharing joy and memories, also studying hard is just one of her obligations as doing her daily chores. As I said, I don't think money is a thing like a reward, it just shouldn't be.
@@livemellifluously If you must know, we take our daughter out almost weekly. I don't feel that making memories should have to wait on or be subject to chores, grades, ect. But hey, everyone has their own opinion. My daughter loves studying and is at the top of her class. Her monetary reward is an added bonus to her already hard work.
How is that immature? Adults don't get an allowance for existing, so why create that expectation in kids? It's life, it's not a "I'm rubber, you're glue" situation.
@@notthefather3919 it's hardly creating an expectation of receiving an allowance for life. She's learning that her hard work has value. Same as a working adult earns a paycheck. She'll know Mommy and Daddy won't give her money all her life.
Even though I am/have been raised differently (14 currently) I can respect your parenting decision and understand it. I can't say I would follow in your footsteps though. Getting 20p or 50p every time I did series of chores filled me with determination to help a lot more, and yes, it did also make me happy to see myself being more productive just with some motivation. I can't wait to get a job so I can have a steady income and not worry about money as much as I do. No clue why i'm a paranoid saver at 14 but I guess it's not a bad trait for when I move out and have to do bills and find the best deals in shops for equipment.
I don't think kids need to get an "allowance" per se. However, I feel that they should handle some kind of money quite early on; not a lot of money, maybe they should be responsible for buying some of the things they need. I for example went to a middle and high school where you had to pay for lunch daily in cash and my parents gave me my lunch money monthly, so I had to learn to budget and make sure the money lasted me throughout the month. It also allows kids the safety to make those early money mistakes we all made while still under their parents roof as opposed to when they get to college for the first time and run out then turn to shady practices to make more...
she has her kids very excluded from the world and they will end up not able to exist without her if she ever has an accident for example... she homeschool them, she doesnt give them allowance... it is possible those kids wont be able to face the world when they get old... and i am starting to realize why she is divorced... she is not that pretty and her methods are rediculus...
There was no allowance in my house growing up. My mother taught me that there is a deep satisfaction obtained from doing things for others and yourself without getting a prize in return. I think it's one of the most important higher abstractions for a kid to have in their arsenal to lead an enriched life. Bravo, Mama!
Except dad goes to jail if he doesn’t feed you lol. I’m sure he was just making a point though! Geez my mom would never threaten us with FOOD though that’s harsh...
I never got an allowance. I lived with my dad and 4 siblings. We were very very poor farmers (we made $10,000 a year) We would work hard 8 hour days in the field without pay. My dad hurt his back so we would cook and clean and do everything else that needed to be done. We lived in an extremely run done farm house, using a woodstove to heat and cook. Any clothes we had werehand me downs from family or friends. We grew our food in the field and the barn. Only eating what we could produce. The expensive things produced were saved for selling at the farmers market. We didn’t have toys or entertainment and we didn’t have time for that anyways. If we had free time we would go to The forest and build forts. We never saw a dime and we never complained about it. When I turned 12 I got a babysitting job and gave all my income to my dad is hopes of helping him have a better life. When I was 14 I began working full time hours at a KFC and gave my dad 90% of my income. Saving 10% to move out of the house so I could be less of a burden. Today I am extremely financially savvy and can live on very little. I have a large amount of savings and will be able to retire early thanks to living this way. I don’t feel a need to buy the “extra things”. I cut my own hair and still have the same clothes from 7 years ago. I don’t need to do any of this because me and my hubby do very well for ourselves. I do it because I don’t feel a need to have “luxury” because of the way I was brought up. I think that when you see your parents go through extreme struggle, and you live in slum conditions with the bare minimum, it makes you look at the world differently. My standards of living are quite low simply because I never had anything to compare it to. When my child is born he or she will not get an allowance, he or she will believe that our family is poor so that they can learn the struggles and hardships and the real value of a few cents.
Jess R tbh it doesnt matter the kind of salary the parents get, they still work hard for it (some more than others) and most of that money goes into taking care of the family needs, so they shouldn’t have to pay extra just because you want something. They should obviously spend a bit extra SOMETIMES like on birthdays/Christmas but giving your kids allowance???? It’s like a damn subscription now. “Pay me $50 a month for respect from your damn kids” even though after all that their kids are still ungrateful little brats.
Jasmine Imiya Can deffanitly agree that all parents work hard for their money. My only point was that as a child it made my siblings and I a lot more grateful for what we had. There was never a time that we were mad at my dad for not providing because we knew it was impossible to give us more. Also totally agree, most kids don’t appreciate the allowance they get. They deffanitly don’t need the money to go spend on things they don’t need.
Same here if you were brought up in a poor household you don’t see the need for an allowance when you have to worry about other items 👍🏽. People who are from medium income families are all for allowances.
You had an exceptional lifestyle, you learn the value of money because you had nothing and neither did your parents, you learnt what it meant to earn money early and what difference it can make. In the video this is not the case she’s well off, she’s paying for her kids to do all kinds of things so they get what they want but aren’t experiencing the concept of having money and then it being traded for goods and services they just either get what they want or don’t with no independent choice or thinking. Also if the farm is only making 10k a year with multiple people working 8 hour days probably best to quit as you’re obviously doing something horribly wrong as most farmers make loads of money and you guys might as well all work in fast food it pays better.
As a psychologist I don't recomend for Kids to recieve money just for doing their home duty, but if there is a exceptional Hard task like doing the guardens or fixing something I do recomend to be reinforced with a little money. (sorry for my spelling, I'm a little rusted in writting english).
If you are a psicologyst, shouldn't you at least know how to spell "psychologist"? As a post graduate student in psychology, I know it's spelt the same ALL over the world and would pecially be known, by a psychologist...
@@rosieglows Jeez, don't be so judgemental, if you are becoming a clinical psychologist good luck to your patience. He literally stated that his English is rusty, just because someone doesn't speak or write the same language as you does not make them unsmart. Also, hypathetically even if psychologist was spelt the same every (which I don't believe, because each language has their own alphabet and letters) there are countries that have different symbols for each letter, like various asian countries, Russia, etc. so even if it was spelt the same in his country, maybe the symbols were different. Doesn't matter, we need to learn to judge less and help more, especially if your going into psychology, but even for us regular Joe's it's important.
My parents tried the allowance thing, but honestly it wasn't that great. If I went out with friends they would give me a certain amount (not alot but not a little) and they would expect me to be able to know a bargain etc. I learned to not expect fashion because I never really cared. I also don't get my hair done or pampered etc. Money is not a problem for us, but they don't want us to work for our money, and then have it spent rapidly or spend frivolously as kids so that in the future we knew money. I get money for mowing our (large) yard, or shoveling our driveway for hours etc. They don't want me to associate unloading dishes and being a part of the family team, as a method of transaction
I don’t know what’s best as I didn’t get an allowance, but I’m conflicted. I always had what I needed and never what I wanted. I think I always desired unnecessary things, but without the satisfaction of getting it, and then the possible realisation that I wasted my money. So when I got my first job, I went crazy... I’d spend my money straaaaight away and I was just excited that I could buy what I wanted, when I wanted! So I do think, some pocket money here and there is good, but perhaps set rules that they must save up for something they really want. I feel like that would teach them the value of money more.
As a child I helped out by doing laundry for my full time nursing student Mom, watching my baby sister so my Mom could get stuff done, doing housework and a little cooking. Knowing that I was helping my Mom and contributing to the family was reward enough for me.
I don't give my son an allowance for the same reason you don't. He and I live in this space and we must take care of it. Yes it sucks because it is just the two of us to do everything. But I am an only child also and it was just my mom and I. He is 14 and he can earn it. Now he can earn money for doing the yard work and things that I pay someone else too do. He also has a job. He is a competitive soccer player and that skill allowed him to take referee classes and he is a soccer referee for youth soccer games. It a great job and pays really well. Plus it is only on weekends so it does not interfere with school. My exhusband gets mad at me because I won't give him an allowance. Funny thing is he doesn't give him one. He seems to always be broke when funds are needed or wanted outside of childsupport.
Yeah because apparently you take advantage of your kid... he is 14, he is a kid, he doesnt have to work. You take your kid's money and you dont give him an allowance, your ex should sue you for custody... HE IS A KID, you are cruel and he deserves better than you... the weekends are not for kids to work but to have fun... you should be ashamed of yourself... i feel sorry for your kid... I hope he leaves you forever at 18
@iris baco she should sue her ex for not giving child support. Not giving allowance is not a crime. And I don’t know where you’re from but teenage kids can work. I bet you’re just a fucking kid who knows nothing about the world and doesn’t even earn shit. Your parents probably aren’t giving you an allowance either that’s why you’re so bitter. A parent’s job is to prepare his/her kid to face the world- a world that will eat him whole if he doesn’t know the value of money and if he doesn’t work. You’re delusional if you think teaching this to one’s children as being evil. Go to hell.
In my book, doing the yard is one of the chores. I mean just because you pay someone for it? That's a choice. You could also pay someone to clean your home and take care of the yard by yourself. Where do you draw the line? :D Btw, I got an allowance at that age, but not for helping around the house, but to learn how to handle money. Around the age for 14, my mom wouldn't buy me books or clothes anymore. She gave me monthly allowance and whenever I wanted something, I had to think about whether I can afford it or not. It started pretty early on that way (of course, first it was just about minor stuff and not a big amount of money) but this way I would stop asking my mom to buy me for example a chocolate bar and think about whether it was really worth the price and more often than not I came to the decision that it was not worth it by myself. And when I tripped sometimes and ended up with no money a few days into the month, it was a good lesson for me to learn too. What I wanna say is: there is certainly more than one way to teach your kids. And I think I turned out okay, I just finished university and have zero debt thanks to working all the way through university and can handle my money pretty good, if I say so myself. I also always helped my mom around the house without getting anything for it.
@@Ichfindekeinenanderenalias I agree. I have no problem with an allowance. After some discussion my mother reminded me that I did get an allowance in high school. But she also did buy me the things I needed and that I wanted. I have no problem with giving a child an allowance.
Good job! I had no allowance. Had many hours of chores a week as a child growing up. Grew up on a 5 acres mowing a huge lawn, pulling weeds, tending to citrus trees, planting. . My parents always said that we would be in the poor house soon . Haha. I knew that wasn't true, but I was shocked to see how much my parents were worth as an adult. It was millions of dollars. Haha. We got one present for Christmas . Sports equipment . No designer clothes.Shopped at Sears. Lol. I am glad that I was raised like that! It made me value money, and work hard . You are absolutely right Mayim!
By the time my sister and I were 11 and 12 we had our paper route, which we kept for at least 3 years. We also shoveled snow, and sold various crafts door to door, until we were old enough at ages 14 and 15 to get our first “real” job. I think it’s great for kids to make their own money!
I believe the age for them to he getting an allowance is high school until they are out of the house. It shouldn't be tied to anything(I agree chores are part of living in the house) but once they are in high school they should be expected to provide their own lunch and other simple things. Shortly after starting highschool I started getting 20-25 dollars a week that went to me getting my own lunch at school, maintaining school supplies, and what's left maybe fun with friends. 20-25 wasnt really enough to have casual fun, so I did stuff to earn extra on the side.
I’m with you, No allowance. I never had an allowance for helping with the house chores growing up and I certainly knew the value of a dollar when I moved out on my own. I earned money growing up by doing things for the neighbors, such a babysitting, caring for pets while a neighbor was away, exercising horses. By the way, I adore you and your videos, you keep me smiling!
Gurl, we are twins. My son is the oldest and I started with him at 14. However, he had do the hard labor for it. He loved Pokémon than so it got done. At 15 he started a job a movie theater part time and we did the process of learning how to budget. Hes 25 now, he's so frugal now that I argued with him to live and enjoy the fruit of his labor responsibly not by just save. Im proud in every way. I'm not rich by any means but I think this is an excellent way for children to navigate financial responsibility. It is a joy to see your kids independence well managed. Keep up the good work, they are and will be awesome gentleman.
It really depends on many other factors. In some cases it could be emotionally harmful if all their friends have money and they don't. Kids can be emotionally scared by very little things that adults consider trivial because they have no frame of reference to see they're trivial. Instead they can experience trivial things as horrifically real. I'm definitely not saying this is what's happening with your kids at all. Just that I think adults don't always appreciate how hard it is to be young. When adults look back they see being young as easy compared to now as an adult, which is irrelevant. If something seems like the end of the world to a kid this is emotionally the same as something seeming like the end of the world to an adult.
This is so true. I was always the “poor kid” and my parents couldn’t afford to give us an allowance. I felt very left out from my peers in that way and often chose to sit out on group activities due to my lack of funds. Kids constantly compare themselves to others and it can be much more long lasting than adults realize.
That's just life, and a super important life lesson to learn - there will always be someone who has what you don't have. People don't deserve money just because sometime else has some/more than they do.
Although you're right in how they can feel left out ect. They need to also understand everyone is walking a different path of life. We would all love to never deal with hardships in life but you learn and grow from them. Think about this generation. No child left behind, everybody gets a trophy, everyone can play a sport no tryouts ect. In trying not to leave anyone out we've created an entitled, no respect, and ungrateful generation. Of course a lot of other things contribute to that but u understand
I grew up in a working class family where my dad worked excessively my whole life, but we still ended up being paycheck to paycheck. My mom was raised to raise us to just do chores because we all live there. Because of these two reasons I was never allowed an allowance, even though I worked very hard in school and everything I did, and it left me with extreme financial anxiety. To this day I struggle with money management skills and was not given a good foundation on how to be successful financially. Even though I understood the importance of saving and the value of the dollar young. I will give my child an allowance, not because she deserves money for existing, but because we don't live in an economy that will help her for being poor and I can't let the cycle continue. As a child, she is expected to behave, try her best in school, and clean her spaces she uses in our home. I will then set up a minimum wage on a ticket system. If she does her minimum expected work, she gets her tickets. If she sees a toy at the store she wants, I will get it and put it in a "store" at home and at the end of the month she can cash in her tickets for a cheaper toy, or save them for a more expensive one next time. If she does more than she's expected, as in she does a sibling's chore for them or she goes above and beyond in behavior, then she can earn bonuses. This is all just like having a job in the real world. When she acts up, stops trying her best in school, or refuses to do her everyday chores, then she doesn't get paid, just like a job. When she's in her teen years, I will switch it to actual money so if she's out shopping with friends or at a school club she always has some way to pay and make choices with her money because toys in a home "store" won't really apply to her anymore. I also want to encourage that birthday and Christmas money goes into a savings account that we started for her so she can understand how small savings help in the long run.
Bethany Hodkinson I grew up with an allowance. Not much but enough that I had a bit of freedom to occasionally eat out with my friends if I save up. If I wanted to buy something frivolous, I didn’t ask my parents for it. I already knew I would be told to save up my allowance. 😂 To this day, I am thankful that they brought me up that way as it taught me budgeting skills that are now invaluable to me as an adult.
I had a small allowance from the age of 8. It was not linked to chores or small work, it was just a small amount of money my parents gave me to spend. I think it was formative for me, I did not have to ask to my parents every time I wanted something (so I felt free), but at the same time, as it was just a small amount of money, I started to be more conscious about small expenses because than I would not have money for the bigger things (even if I had not a specific big desire at the moment)
Exactly. Allowance is a privilege. Having a sense of contribution and responsibility without monetary reward is worthwhile and, to me, helps to deter that 'entitled personally' that is currently so pervasive.
I’m 11 and I’ve never had allowance before. My mom has me work for what I want and I’m fine with it. She always says that she shouldn’t have to pay me to help her with something.
Jasmine Imiya yeah the kids who don’t realise the outcome of lack of independent thinking and choice on their development. Kids don’t usually have much negative to say as the world is still new and an adventure to them as a result also they don’t possess the ability to understand they aren’t perfect and won’t want to say their friend who gets an allowance is better off because they feel then they are worse off. It’s a bit like saying do you think a university education is worth it and saying the opinion of studying students opinion is worth more than those who had university education and whether it was beneficial this isn’t about experience, it’s about the outcome of the lesson.
Ben Terry the outcome is the fact that all the kids I know that go to my school that get money for this are spoilt bitches that think they’re better than everyone for making money
Good job for helping your mom out and being respectful! Im sure she appreciates the help and you are learning many valuable lessons for when you have to live on your own without her help! Keep at it you're doing great!
Mayim, you’re a woman after my own heart! My first daughter will be named Mayim. I’m serious. FYI... my name starts with an M as well😁 so it just makes sense. I’ve been a fan forever, not just your work, but of so many things about you & how you parent, and how you live. Bravo! Your parents should be unbelievably proud!
Hi, I agree with you totally. I raised four girls with my husband and we never gave allowance. Really why should anyone give their children money to take care of their own personal space? The same reasons you gave in the video are the same reasons I gave my girls when they asked why they did not get an allowance when their friends did. We did give money for extra chores if they wanted to earn money sometimes, like weed pulling in the yard. All my girls grew up with a respect for money. They are all graduates from college and are successful. I love your videos.
Growing up I never got an allowance. If I wanted money then I had to earn it so went around the neighborhood asking if there was shoveling that needed done during the winter or lawns in need of mowing during the summer. I still did both these things at my own house but never got paid for it because like you said, there isn't anyone that will pay me to do it when I have my own house. I don't plan on giving my children an allowance either.
I started getting allowance when I was about 11, the first time I got it I spent it basically in 2 days and I went and asked my father for more money and he’s like what happened to your allowance, I told him the truth he seemed disappointed and told me, you need to live within your means, so the next time I made an effort to spend half and save half, and continued this till I was 16, and by then I opened my own savings account and honestly pocket money taught me how to budget, to live within my own mean, now I’m 22 and I’m working my father still gives me pocket money not that I need it to spend more like I’m brown and it’s just a sweet gesture at this point, out off all my friends I’m the first to be financially independent, i understand budgeting and if I can’t afford it on my own I don’t buy it, so I really give that up to pocket money it’s very humbling and it’s a learning opportunity
I always got pocket money (not much, in high school it was 50 swiss francs (since things are way more expensive here, this probably realistically relates to the spending power of 20 dollar). In elementary school it was just a frank per week, but i think it was great. I wouldnt get paid for doing chores, the pocket money was money i got if i had a normal week to spend on something i always wanted. If your kid wants to have expensive ass sneakers, there is no better way to teach them about money if they have to buy it (at least partially) with their own money
Thank you! I also didn't give my daughter an allowance. This is her home, she helped make the mess she can help clean it, as an adult we don't get paid to clean our homes. Seriously, I've been saying this for years. She also had additional chores she could do to EARN money but not for everyday cleaning/maintenance home chores. Couldn't agree more with you on this aspect.
From the age of 14 I had to work out what my annual expenses would be - School Uniform, fees, books, sport, camps, emergency cash flow etc. Then if my mom felt it was reasonable and I could justify it, I would receive a lump sum for the year ahead. (no asking for any extra) Year one and two I screwed up a bit, My older siblings had to bail me out multiple times to cover school fees or buy me a shirt or sponsor a movie ticket. Year 3-5 I turned into a frugal sour puss, but managed. I would love to do the same with my kids one day, but I'm just not sure if I would be able to be as consistent as my parents to not give in when my kids inevitably blow their first annual pay check.
What about school field trips and stuff that come up without prior knowledge? How was that dealt with? Were you to estimate or did the parents pay for that at the time it was required?
I am 14, and I have been receiving an allowance for about 7 years. I can honestly say (although younger me would hate current me for saying this) that I think that I began to receive an allowance way too early. For about 6 out of the 7 years that I have been receiving an allowance, the money would instantly go to something that was cheap enough to buy with my ten or twenty dollars, and completely impractical. I think that my responsiblity with money didn't come from years of wasting allowances, but instead having things that I was responsible for paying for that were closer to a need than a want.
So, my son is 14 and I just started to get him an allowance. He knows, if we're falling into financial trouble, he will help me with it. We don't have a tzedaka box, but since he was little, we donated any clothes, shoes, utensils, etc we don't use, to a donation store who benefits a women's shelter (victims of domestic violence) Having said that, he consult me when, and on what, he wants to use it.
Not a mom but admired a friend who is. She started taking her son to soup kitchens to help when he was just a little tyke. Each year in October'ish she required he give up all his toys except the one he played with most. Those were cleaned up a wrapped for other kids who would otherwise not have a Christmas. I introduced her to my other friend who likewise never had children who would go every Black Friday and buy all the toys two or more grocery carts would hold and haul them to the local fire department collecting toys for tots. Best friend marriage made right there. Me, I just donated cash to round everything out. Every young child should learn about giving to others who have so much less than we do. Thank you Mayim for this post.
I remember when my friends talk about how much allowance they, I was so upset about how my parents never gave me an allowance, they never gave it to me for the reason you mention. Honestly, now that I think about it, I'm glad they didn't. Not getting an allowance did push me and my sis to get a job as soon as we were old enough. Honestly, I did know more value of a dollar with not getting an allowance than getting one. I learn to not expect to get money for a thing I expect to do and used my Birthday and Christmas money more wisely since I knew once that money was gone and I had no choice but to wait another year bc unlike my friends, I wasn't getting weekly pay to fall back on once my money was gone.
I agree with u because my mother (Hispanic) sounded just like u every time I'd ask her for allowance. Now, 20 years later, I'm glad she is this way. Your kids will be thankful eventually.
My single Mother taught me the value of money by letting me make choices on how to spend it. For instance when it was time to buy. Back to School clothes, she gave me a budget. The smarter I was with my choices the more clothes I got. If I wanted designer Jeans then I wore the same Jeans all year long. She did the same even after I got my first job. She would tell me that she was willing to spend X amount on new tennis shoes (ECT.) If I wanted more expensive ones, I had to pay the difference. So it taught me to respect money and be practical about name brand shopping.
My kids are 36 and 37 now and I always taught them the value of working together as a family to get things done. They also saw my husband and I work together to accomplish things around the house, I guess we tried to be an example of what a family should do. They did get allowance but we never emphasized they were being paid for anything. I guess we have the same idea in some ways. It is very important to teach kids that it's not just one person doing all the work, even though I did do the things around the house that they didn't see to keep it going. I guess the biggest thing we can teach our kids is they are not entitled to anything! Keep up the good work, I think you are on to something 😉 TFS
I laughed right out loud. I'm so glad to see that you're just as YOU as I've always hoped you would be. I love your perspective, and you have given me some things to consider. My kiddo is 5, and he is just how beginning to grasp the concept of money.
Love all your videos, but this one has particularly struck home. My boys are 7 and 5, they are both currently waiting for autism assessment. My husband is out to work early on a morning and one of our biggest struggles of the day is getting up and to school on time, so about two weeks ago I decided to try a monetary reward system (didn't start as money, started as a magazine if good all week, worth up to £5 uk, but it quickly changed to money so that they had a tier system, £5 for no bad mornings, £3 for only one bad morning, £1 for 2 bad mornings and nothing after that, I didn't want them to loose everything for one bad morning) I feel they are too young for pocket money but at the same time if it helps give them the incentive to get to school on time without a battle of wills between them and me then I am willing to try. However they now have to use their own money for things I used to buy for them, like Friday school cake sale and magazines. But my very clever 7 yo has quickly realised he can save it up for bigger things, which I am proud of. I still won't pay them for helping with washing up and things though 😉 thank you for your view point x
We give an allowance for chores, but only some of the work in the house is a paid chore. Picking up after yourself is NOT a chore, helping put away groceries does not get $$, they are not paid for doing their own laundry, etc. We have them use their allowance to buy their own Slurpees and small things like that. I think it helps kids learn that the way to get paid is to do work, and they learn about budgeting. I did not get an allowance growing up and I’m loving all the comments from adults like myself who were told “I ALLOW you to live here” and “You get paid 3 times a day”! 😂 Such simple, wonderful wisdom and I am glad I learned those lessons. There are lessons to be learned from every style and I don’t believe one is a mistake, nor is one perfect. It’s a win if we’re teaching and they’re learning. 🙌🏻
