Why No One Is Having Kids Anymore.... The Childfree Movement 

I also wonder if people aren't having kids because their own childhoods don't exactly ignite warm and loving memories.

Many years ago I went to a wedding and the couple next to me asked if I had kids and I said no and I have no desire to ever have any. She replied, "oh my God you're so lucky, I have kids and I regret it so much". The other women in the group overheard the conversation and also said they regretted having kids. I was shocked that anyone would actually admit it out loud. The husbands in the group never said a word but one did nod his head in agreement. I never forgot that wedding! 😂😂

Why would i bring my kids into a life where 99% of it will consist of school and corporate slavery? Nah. I love my unborn kids too much to do that to them.

“You have to have kids if you have the urge, i just never had that urge…. to ruin my life” jen kirkman

Hot take: A lot of childfree individuals I know often give much more thought to the responsibility of raising a child... than some parents who just have kids just cause or may not have been well-prepared in the first place.

Society is extremely depressing right now. How can young people even think about bring children to the equation when we cant even find jobs, and when we do find them, they don't pay a living wage. Seems like children are for the filthy rich now. Most of us want to bring children into a good situation where they have the chance to have a good childhood....people don't wanna bring kids into poverty :/

I love kids but I can’t handle being relied upon , can’t handle the noise , the crying, I barely take care of myself 😶‍🌫️

Millennial here. I always assumed that I'd have one kid, on principle. The older I got, the more undesirable that was. Now we've made it official -- we'll never be having children, not even one. And we are so relieved about that

Tbh, no one should be pressured to neither have kids or nor not have them. It should be a highly personal choice and not something we do for peer pressure.

I also dont like when people say: Who is going to take care of you when you are old??….like if thats your only reason for wanting kids, thats selfish and then you can’t guarantee your child will grow up and live close by and be willing to take care of you. If you choose to have kids, I feel like you need to have the right motives for having them, you have to be ready to give of yourself, emotionally physically and mentally and be financially stable. If you don’t have the deep desire, don’t do it.

I’m 38 and child free and so happy in my life. I do believe that people who have kids, love their kids and the meaning it has given them. But just tired of hearing ”how could you not want a child”, remember you cant’t miss what you’ve never had, so why have a child if you don’t want to? Normalise not wanting kids please.

You're born alone and you'll sure as hell die alone. No matter what, everyone dies alone.

I have nephews and nieces and that's enough for me. It's great to be an auntie.

At 45 and NEVER wanting kids, I've spent my life hearing people say condescending things like "you won't know true love" and "you need kids to be fulfilled", etc. It's interesting that so many parents feel like they have the right to question my life choices, but would never take kindly to someone saying to them "what if having kids doesn't fulfill you like you thought"? And like you said, there isn't one way to be fulfilled. In fact, for people like me, having a kid would make me miserable. Being a parent is one of the worst things I could imagine for my own personal life. But for my best friend it is the thing that she feels like made her life complete. We are all different.

30 year old father to a 4 year old here. Don't listen to people who tell you you need to have kids to have a fulfilled life. The only fulfilling life you need to worry about is your own and what makes you happy. Some people dont feel comfortable having kids, others have felt the want since they were very young, like me. Both are okay. Personally I love being a father. It has its challenges for sure, but the rewards to me are like picking the ripest apple from the tree. But with that said, not everybody is an apple person and that's alright. It should not be of concern to me or anybody else who likes apples.

Some people just like having infants. Not children. There's a difference. Ive seen people replace their toddlers with newborns and the toddlers start to act out because suddenly they aren't being cared for anymore... Because they never actually were. They were a toy

The worst thing about all of this is that other mothers don't warn you about the regrets, anxiety and other downfalls of parenting, and I have no idea why.

I've noticed that some people (single or married) prefer pets over kids.

My husband and I are 40, have been together for 24 years, child free by choice, and seem to be much happier than most of our peers/family members that have children. We are financially stable and we LOVE our dogs. It feels like everyone around us is constantly miserable. Exhausted and constantly complaining about their children and/or partners. I have had countless people (who have children) tell me, “ I love my kids, but if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have them, don’t have them!” *countless* I think people feel better getting this off their chest knowing I’m not a parent, so they know I won’t judge them 😅

"The economic system" angle is such a load of shit. The economy has never worked for us, and people expect us to have kids in order to help the system out? Please. I'll just take the black pill.

I knew I didn't want to have children when I was 5!!! I have never ever ever regretted my decision!! Not everyone should be a parent there are so many ways to nurture, love and educate in the world!

I have never wanted children, but I didn’t start expressing it openly, or even privately to myself, until my late 20s. Prior to that I felt like there was something wrong with me for not wanting them so I would just say “I’m not sure yet, maybe some day”. It was also hard at the time to find a partner who didn’t want kids. Now I’m 33 and fully comfortable with being childfree. My partner is open to kids but ultimately would prefer not to have them, mostly due to society being fucked up and the immense cost of raising children.

As a father of one child, my advice to young people would be: Don't even think of having a kid unless you are filthy rich to begin with! Kids are a status symbol nowadays!

I realized that parenthood is encouraged because big companies want to be able to make money off us for raising children.

My question is, how much of it is due to economics, and how much of it is due the the inability of young people to find, and stay, in a stable loving relationship? Someone should study that.

I’m 41, and childfree. When I was 7 years old I knew I didn’t want children; I am so happy I stuck to my guns. Nothing about children/family life and marriage appeals to me.

Idk, I've always hated the idea of having kids. The mere thought makes me depressed. My mother tried her damn best to try and convince and shame me into having children but social preasure has never been effective against me. I think I was born this way, I have no vocation for parenting. I'm tired enough running a business and trying to enjoy what little time I have for myself and I'm my favourite person, me and only me, I don't have it in me to waste my precious time on third parties. Theres absolutely no good reason for someone so unquilified to have children, I'd resent them, they'd hate me in return.

Life is hard. That’s why our parents drank a lot and smoked a lot. They didn’t have the technology we have today so they needed to do what they needed to do to get through the day. It’s a personal decision and should be respected. Cheers!

I am 61 and had three kids. Day care was over 12 grand annually over 30 years ago. It has always been out of control and did not get better. My own children have all waited until their mid to late 30's to have their own kids.

I'm 33. and I have never had that urge to have kids. but I was always afraid to say it aloud. I always thought that I have to have kids one day, otherwise, what is the fulfillment in life? It is about two years since I finally said aloud and accepted the fact that I just don´t want kids and this was such a relief I feel happier than ever, suddenly there is no pressure on me, don´t need to think about my age, and I just feel free. I love my life, I love my work, I have a good career, I live in a nice city, have my cat, have many hobbies, love traveling and I feel completely fulfilled. Many people asked me what I will do when I will be old, who will take care of me? But I know several elderly people who have kids and are still lonely and I think it would be such a selfish reason for having kids. Another reason that really scared me about having kids and I know it may sound like a really dumb reason, but in my surroundings unfortunately I know few families whose kids have been born sick. This makes me so sad and it is something I would never want to deal with. And even if there is just a small percentage that this would happen to me, it is something that just scares me really bad.

High house prices and cost of living are the best contraceptive pills

I don't understand all the people who are mad about how other people live their lives when it will never affect them

Shelby I thought you had some new picture on the wall till I realized it was an ad 😂😂 smart

As a man, I'd be miserable with kids and I've made that very clear while dating. I'm perfectly happy with my cat. She's more than enough. Great video Shelby, these commentary videos have been excellent.

Childfree and couldn't be happier. Agree with everyone here saying a lot of people have kids without giving it much thought. I had my tubes removed in 2022. Best decision ever. I don't want kids because I just don't like kids.

Also, my parents are boomers and waited until they were 37 to start having kids - I always found that inspiring as a child, that they'd had this full, adventurous, exciting life before they had me. They had lots of stories and experiences to share with me growing up.

As I've said many times in these kinds of conversations, the question "why don't you want to have kids?" Really doesn't make a lot of sense. If someone doesn't want to have kids, they shouldn't have kids! Why would anyone want to subject kids to an environment where they aren't wanted. A more consequential question for people who want kids is, "why do you want kids?". We should be asking that question a lot more. Because there are bad reasons for having kids, and if those people have kids, it could be very detrimental to that child life. Not having kids should be the default position that requires no deliberation. On the other hand, if someone wants kids, they should think long and hard about why they want a child and if they are prepared to do that job correctly.

It’s kind of not “okay not to” at my age. I have known since I was a kid myself that I didn’t want children, but people still harass me about it, from co-workers, casual acquaintances, to complete strangers. The question is generally “Do you have kids yet?” And then the statement that follows “well there’s still time.” There is still quite a lot of stigma and pressure.

Despite growing up with baby fever, I already know I don't have the patience to raise one of my own. Instead, I've been trying to obtain a volunteer position as a maternity ward cuddler at my hospital so I can work with babies but go home afterwards as my usual child free self.

It is not my opinion but a hard fact. For most people that are going child-free, it is definitely a good thing.

My one uncle and aunt never had kids. They were always the fun uncle and aunt because they had the patience with all of their nephews, nieces and great nephews and nieces. Sadly my uncle passed away a few years ago. Then my aunt felt like she messed up with not having kids (feeling alone) and cried on the floor telling me this when he passed but I told her she will never be alone because all of us will be calling, stopping by, and spending time with her. ❤

I have never wanted kids ever. I am almost 37 and happily child free

I'm a baby boomer. Fortunately I grew up in a country where healthcare and education were "free". Of course it isn't because everybody pays taxes into a big national fund. I prefer to call it "prepaid". Also the government paid people to have children. Not deductible but paid directly in cash. Education and schools were government funded and all teachers were certified government workers and supervised. That provided a level playing field. It also prevented student loans and institutions making a business out of a basic need.

I'm 44 and have been childfree since I was 22, and it all stemmed from an incident at a McDonald's. I was just trying to enjoy my lunch when the sounds of little children running all over the place and screaming their heads off were beginning to grate. So I went to the front counter and asked to have my lunch to go. While some of the other workers looked at me as if I was some sort of a nut, the worker I saw did it with no trouble, and I dashed out of there like a bat out of hell. From that moment, I *KNEW* that I was childfree.

I’m 30 and have dreamt of adopting for about 25 years. I made a lot of foolish monetary mistakes from age 16-27, and I am now working extra hard to pay off that debt in hopes of being able to afford the ridiculous cost of adoption. I don’t know why people think having kids only means giving birth. My step dad adopted me as one of his own kids.

I would imagine owning and operating a child care business in New York and California would be a liability nightmare.

45, married, cats, nice job, beautiful home. Very happy. Knew since I was a teen. I’m too type A: I like my house organized/clean/my way. We’ve had to spend so much on home improvement IDK how we would have the money for children. We love sleeping in, going out to eat, and doing what we want when we want. Not to mention how exhausting kids are. Good on you if you want/have them, I don’t have that desire.

19:38 It's way better to regret not having a child than to regret having one. Not only one life would be damaged, but two, with the child having a parent who is unhappy about their existence...

People in 2024 have choices. And they are choosing NOT to make anymore sacrifices. And it's why teens are opting out of higher education. Why the inexperienced aren't accepting entry-level positions. Why employees aren't working harder to gain experience. Why people in their 20's aren't dating. Why couples aren't getting married. And finally... Why adults aren't procreating.

Honestly, one of the most validating videos I’ve ever watched. Team No Way I’m paying nearing $2,000 per month for childcare. One because I don’t have that kind of expendable income and two, no. 🙃 Team No Way I’m Subjecting My Child to a Childhood of Neglect Because I Can’t Work FT and Give Them the Time They Deserve at the same time. I was a preschool teacher for nearing ten years and it was the most fulfilling job I’ve had to date- I got to love those kids unconditionally for anywhere between 8-10 hours per day, but that 8-10 hours with me meant maybe two to three with their parents and then bedtime and then back to me and I saw how it affected them and would never want that for my own. My mom struggled as a single parent and that drastically affected our relationship as a result. I felt like a financial burden or as a means of my mom using me to support herself and as a child, I should have never had to feel that way, I couldn’t imagine making another feel similarly. If I can’t give them a life they deserve, I don’t want to create life. And that’s okay.

I know I never wanted kids, and it was impossible to find a potential partner who agreed, and every older person brow beat me about how I'd change my mind. Twenty years later, society is finally catching up.

I have seen people with 12 kids spending all there life in raising them and at the end everyone leaves parents helpless.

in the last part of this video, you were talking about kids as someone’s fulfillment and it reminded my own mother’s story. when i moved out of my parents house at the of 19, my mom got really depressed. i think she realized that her whole life was only based on being a mother. she didn’t know what she was outside of motherhood. my dad left her (he was an asshole thou, but still), she got really depressed, and even tried to kill herself 4 times. it’s a sad and crazy situation for sure, but imma here to tell ya: don’t have kids to be your own little-personal-life project or fulfillment. only have kids if you’re a ready to raise an individual :)

I can really relate to the part that it's hard to find a qualified man these days. What blows my mind is that I'm not even looking for a rich and handsome man...all I want is a decent guy with a stable job and a kind heart whom I can feel secure enough to build a family with. For me that is the bare minimum but apparently that in itself is rare which makes me question the kind of society that we have now. 80% of the women I know in their late 20s and early 30s are single with the same reason that there are no qualified guys out there. A lot of women don't have high standards unlike other men claim...we just want the bare minimum expected for a future partner and if no guy meets that, then there is no way we will settle for less and sacrifice our lives for a guy not worth building a future with.

The lack of awareness is astounding.

The mindset from the parents in the comments is frightening. Its wild to me that they don't believe in free will unless it strictly follows their beliefs. Almost cultlike. I feel bad for their kids if they happen to deviate from the norm when they get older. These kids will never see their parents as someone to come to without fear of judgment. Theyd be too scared of getting kicked out of the house.

I was sterilised at 31 and I'm now nearly 38 - it was the best decision I've ever made, apart from marrying my wonderful husband. If we had children, we wouldn't have the extraordinary life we have right now and that would be a true tragedy. My mum once told me, when I was a teen, that if she had her time over, she wouldn't have kids - and I am thankful for her honesty every single day of my childfree life; because of her my life is exactly the way I want it and I have a level of freedom my mum and my sister (a single parent) could only dream of. I'm incredibly thankful for the lessons they've taught me in how I don't want to live.

I am, by choice, no children. In many nations~Japan & Italy are at zero birth rate. I have read area of Italy are turning school into senior citizen facilities. I am 74. Over the decades there were moments when I almost buckled but I remained true to my children free values. I taught for 35 years. I got enough of the child experience at work.

I am so fortunate to be a stay at home mom of two littles (in the sense we can live comfortably off one income) but dang... people often don't know about the extreme loneliness and boredom of life at home. I just don't think humans are intended to live alone day after day with small children in isolated suburbs... our current world is just constructed for parental loneliness unfortunately. It sets moms up for failure. I love my kids and I know this is a "net gain" in my life. But I look forward to the day when they're in school and I can pursue some other interests of mine.

I’m going to be 31 this year. I never had a desire for kids even at a young age. I was open at a few points in life to them because that’s what people do and thought about the fulfillment part of it. I’m happy with sticking to my choice and continue living the lifestyle I have.

You just described my situation. I started my own business last year and I'm putting every singly penny I have into it. There is no way in hell I would be able to take this risk if I had kids to support. I would probably find another life sucking job, and be miserable working for someone else just to support my kids. But I'm taking control of my life and I'm taking a chance on my dream.

I’m a pediatric nurse and absolutely love kids. I personally feel life will be very lonely when I’m older but I’m 28, type 1 diabetic and struggle with financial freedom, mental health, etc. I don’t think I would ever have my own children. I see myself fostering or adopting maybe later in life.

Why have kids in this time anyway? The cost of living is atrocious and so many people cant even afford to eat, and yet are popping out kid after kid and make them suffer with poverish living. Imo, if you cant afford yourself, dont bring a child to the earth to only make it suffer along with you!

I have no kids so I can give money to helping the dogs.

Life is stressful enough, I'm not going to add more stress by having kids.

I was a step dad for a few years and I do not want to have kids anymore. Good thing I had a trial run first. Also, I don't ever want to date a single mom ever again, it's not a job I want to take on, but other people may like it. Just not for me.

If they come up with and put on the market a hormonal birth control for men like they do women I'd be interested in seeing how that would effect birth rates.

Great channel, Shelby. Good content, research, and insight. Keep them coming 😊

I never thought strongly about whether or not I wanted kids, but I always thought of my future with kids being there, if that makes sense. We have kids and all I can say is THEY'RE EXPENSIVE! Both my wife and I make six figures. I was very responsible and went to a college I could afford and only came out with $13K in student loan debt and that's been paid off. We're basically paying off our kids college and man oh man, it's expensive. Then there's all of the crap we paid for throughout the years. Childcare, tennis lessons, signing lessons, you name it, we've paid for it. And my mother-in-law was a neonatal nurse who worked nights and watched our kids during the day for the first 2 years, or we would have had to have paid for that too! I can absolutely see why people don't want kids. It's too expensive, climate change, all of the wars and killing, let's just say if I was graduating college today, I'd think twice about having them.

I can see why a lot of people these days don’t want children. People are seeing the world for what it is now, a mess. They see a bleak future, and bringing a child into this chaotic world feels like setting them up for disappointment. Plus, it’s becoming more and more expensive with the cost of living skyrocketing and the job market looking pretty bleak. If we’re all trying to survive now, let alone think about the future generations. But amidst the uncertainty, there is always the possibility of hope and creating a better future.

You quoted Hollyweird actors on a social issue? Please don't make that mistake again.

This was such a well researched, well reasoned and thought provoking video Shelby! As a childfree woman who has always felt ‘othered’ by my choice, it feels really nice to have a (public) community these days. It has helped me a lot especially as a newlywed, as people always expect you to start having kids after marriage. It kinda validates my point being able to go ‘look at all these other women who don’t!’. Not that anyone should have to explain their choices either way!

You'll notice from your chart there are two huge dips. The first was when the world was at war and men were away, but it recovered fully after the war. The 2nd is after the invention of birth control women could use (the pill). This is significant because it tells you women didn't WANT to have kids or so many kids and finally had a way in THEIR control to avoid that and they sure used it. The birth rate never rose much after that. Women finally had control over their own bodies (esp once abortion became legal) and they exercised that right. It was less that women wanted a ton of kids before and more that they had no way to prevent it, esp if married. Once they had that control, we saw how they really felt. Combine that with the fact that both had to work full time to pay the bills and you get women who don't have time or money to be Moms even if they could. We won't see a huge uptick anytime soon, and with the increasing fertility issues due to endocrine disruptors in literally everything we touch these days, maybe ever. Now, in the less developed countries, they still have a ton of kids simply because the women have no control to avoid it, no access to birth control (also an obscene amount of r@pe). That tells you a lot. Now, back in the day, familes NEEDED a lot of kids to run the farm and the little stores and factories, etc., but today, we actually don't need any. This will become a HUGE problem with the aging population that requires care and no young people to feed money into the system that does that. That is why it is SO damn important that YOUR generation be the generation to change things. Clean up the world, clean up the dangerous politics, clean up the toxic emotional environment we've created and bring back integrity and care for the earth and each other and far less greed. Fight for a better world now and you can fix it and make it worth populating again. If that doesn't happen, well, the world won't exist anymore really.

GREAT video Shelby! I've seen a movement in more women talking about their choice to be child free. Oophh, some of these comments are quite heavy but all valid. I am the only one of my childhood friend group to not have kids. One now tells her own children to not do it (possibly a la Britney Spears as Ana A mentions). Another friend recently divorced and admitted she never saw herself raising them alone. She also attempted to find a new partner (either with kids of his own or not) to keep that dream alive and discovered that the dating pool (as mentioned in this video) was not what it was 20 years ago. After 6 months, as a single mom of two, on the dating apps, she deleted all the apps and confided to me that she realized she would have to wait until the kids were grown and gone to start living her ideal solo life. She shared trying to find someone to help her raise the kids or even someone to spend the golden years didn't seem promising based on her 6 months on the apps. She doesn't regret it (having the kids) but she does admit she never considered the possibility of being a single mom, that was never the dream. As for me, I am now 43, child-free, and very thankful I stuck it out. I relate to this video a lot in many ways, because I too knew from a young age it wasn't for me. I even sadly had to let go of some pretty amazing men/relationships (during those child-bearing years) due to this choice. They wanted kids, I did not. I wouldn't keep them from their dreams. But I also couldn't provide it. I always considered, if things didn't work out between us or if something happened to him, would I be happy raising them on my own, and the answer was always "no", because it wasn't my dream to begin with. The topic is very delicate, and I too have so much respect and admiration for people who choose to become parents. I'm just thankful for Betty White and Jennifer Anniston for being one of the many brave women to pave the way. Really enjoyed watching this one.

I’m 39 and never wanted kids, whenever I get a question “when will you have kids?” I ask them “when will you buy a Ferrari?” They respond with “why do I need it, it’s ridiculously expensive and pointless to me…” BINGO!😂

Reason why its getting harder and harder is inflation + policies. The invisible tax of printing money.

I am child free. I have bi-polar type 2 and take meds and have never regretted not having kids. I remember when I was going to therapy about 20 years ago my therapist told me that since I didn't have children I should turn to GOD for fulfillment (I am an atheist). I had gone to her for YEARs and I was like WTF! How DARE she judge me and I just couldn't believe it. At the time, I asked her to repeat it as I wasn't sure I heard it right. She confirmed it and I walked out telling her she crossed the line and I never went back to her. Fulfillment is different for every person and I have helped people over the years and plan to donate my estate to the California Science Center. This makes me happy.

I have the theory that a lot of women also have healed their need to be "fulfilled" by motherhood through intensive self-work or therapy. I see so many boomers and Gen Xers who had kids to heal some childhood trauma. It's like they didnt want to raise a human, they wanted to be a mom.. they NEEDED to be a mom to feel complete. To be loved by someone unconditionally or to relive through their kids. Now, looking at myself, I want to be a mom. Raising a human and giving them whatever they need - despite the bleak outlook of life that often made me question if it's ethical to have children - seems like something I'd not only like to do but also something I feel capable of. But if it ever didn't happen to work out for me (infertility etc), I will be sad, but I will be okay. My life will not collapse. I will not feel broken. I will just step up and be a part of the village for my friends and family with kids - because that's so, so needed today. And honestly? I'd rather a kid that's not mine has a lot of trusted adults that care for them and grows up being supported than spend all my time and energy on making a bio child happen for myself when it might just not be in my cards. I still hope it is, of course. But I think we forget about all the important roles we can play in a child's life without having to be their parent.

really informative video, lots of perspectives covered and points brought up with nuanced data.

I wouldn’t say I was team no kids but more team no kids in my 20s because I simply didn’t have the urge. After 30 and being married for 4 years with no kids, suddenly the stars aligned and it just hit us that we were ready! Never say never, factors in your life change and then boom lol a mini bestie for life ❤

I’m 54 and didn’t have kids. No regrets. Only reason I’m not broke lol 😂

Can we please appreciate the way that Garnier banner was made 👏👏👏 amazing video keep them coming Shelby!❤

25:07 What's interesting is that there's a consistent historical trend there where "national/global instability" = "lower birthrates". So instead of panicking and wondering "why aren't people having kids??", it would be way more productive to say "uh oh, lower birthrates, what needs fixing?" But that would mean admitting that the status quo isn't working and the people in charge who drive and benefit most from said quo will never go for that.

I don't plan on having kids of my own, but I have a niece and a nephew! I'm a proud uncle! :)❤

Also, parenting is sooooooo much harder than I ever thought it would be. Especially having a child that's had a lot of medical issues. When you decide to have kids, it's a roll of the dice, you don't know what you are going to get. You could have a very easy child, or a VERY hard child. And it takes its toll.

I’m 33 and still on the fence, because my life hasn’t gotten to a stage where I can comfortably choose to have kids. I probably will not have them, and it’s almost entirely due to the economy making it too hard. I know I’ll be unhappy under that much financial stress, and I don’t want to put that anxiety on a kid like my parents did.

Children are incredibly expensive, my wife and I pay $4,000.00 a month for childcare here in Massachusetts and our parents aren’t around to help us, you should make a video regarding how expensive new and used vehicles are now especially with stealership markups

It’s harder today to have kids. There are so many diseases that cause infertility, along with side effects that just leave you sick and unable to take care of kids. I have endometriosis but I also have autoimmune disease that just cause severe body pain! I am unable to care for a child. Now as I look back I’m thankful that I never got married and got pregnant! That would have been so hard!

I’m a mom to a three year old and being a mom makes me so much more sympathetic to people who aren’t. Being a parent is hard and some days, it really really sucks. I think we need to normalize talking about moms struggling. The bad days make you appreciate the good days way more. I love my son with my entire soul but this is not for everyone. I and so so happy for those of you that don’t have to think about childcare, diapers, feeding your kids, giving up your freedom. Like there’s luxuries on both sides. Also, can we normalize being one and done? Like I have zero desire to have more kids.

Thank you for this open and well-balanced discussion of an important topic! 20 years ago, when I was in my late 30s, there weren't discussions like this available. So I am happy for all of you to be able to talk openly about your wishes surrounding children.

Great episode! I’m 56 years old never had a desire to have children. People would look at me sideways when I was in my 20s when I tell them I didn’t want children. It is wonderful now that it’s normalized.. At this point, I’m glad I didn’t have children because it’s an obligation forever. I’m still learning to take care of myself ha ha. I watch all the people around me with kids and they’re miserable. Especially if they’re divorced ,a complete nightmare. I get to play with my nieces and nephews, etc. and give them back lol. I preface this by saying I love children and spending time with them but I just don’t want the obligation for myself never did.

I am glad to see we are rejecting societal norms. No kids 🙌🏾

Shelby, you bring up such good points... Great research!

A lot of men getting pressed in comments when they realise that women are more than just baby factories💀

39f here, daily constant investigatiin on "when r u having KiDs??" All my friends pumping out babies and im like "Lmao NO THANK YOU 😂"

It’s crazy to see the effects of telling everyone to go to college and take out student loans

I'm 42 and childfree. I can hardly think of anything that would completely ruin my life more than having children! I hate being around kids and can't understand why anyone would ever want to have any!

I've known from an early age that I wasn't relationship or parent material, mostly due to coming from a dysfunctional background, even before realising that my family was so screwed up and dysfunctional, when my grandmother was alive, she used to say that from the age of 7, I always said that I'd never get married and I'd never have children, 50 years later, I've never been in a long term relationship, never even thought about marriage or becoming a parent.

I really appreciated your take on this topic, which in my experience is usually treated only from one extreme or another. You had a good, balanced, informed, and nuanced view. I'm one of those Millennials who's known from childhood that I never wanted kids, and 40 years later it still has never been in doubt. I'm so thankful that I've never had to wrestle with the moral, financial, etc dilemma that this would be in the circumstances of the world I live in

Hey Shelby! I am 29 years old, have a one year old and am also pregnant with the second one. I live in Latvia (Europe) and here we actually have one of the best maternity leaves (you can choose 1 year or 1.5 years) and free childcare (state funded). With all of this our birth rate is still one of the lowest. I myself always wanted children, but I don't know if I would have them if I wouldn't have met the perfect partner to have them with. This is actually one of the main reasons I chose my husband, because I knew that he would be a great father, at the time I thought that he would be a better parent than I would be as a mother. I have not regretted a single ounce of having my baby girl and I know that 2 under 2 will be difficult, but in my case I know that it is worth it and I am not alone, we are a team with my husband. Of course, the financial aspect also played a role, when we both got jobs in IT and got our own place we felt secure enough to have children. Since our journey so far has been so great (not a fussy baby, great sleeper) I can only recommend having children, but, of course, I also know that children are different, people are different and many things have to align in order for you to want kids and be ready for them. On the other hand my sister who moved to the US doesn't want kids, especially in the US, since she recognizes how expensive and difficult it would be, the maternity leave is not anywhere close to what we have here in Latvia, but I am not pressuring her in no way or trying to change her mind, everybody has a different journey and I really liked your point that people who want to have kids should be supported. Great video!