Why The Narcissist Is Actually Afraid Of You, Things That Constantly Make Narcissists Feel Paranoid 

They fear rejection and abandonment, yet they push you away from them so you end up rejecting and abandoning them.

1. They see you as a threat. 2. They fear rejection and abandonment. 3. Afraid you will expose them. 4. Afraid of losing control.

“They think everyone is like them. Therefore, they want to destroy us…before we destroy them”. That…is enlightening. Therefore, relationships are nothing more than a ‘game’ (of deceit and manipulation) to a narcissist. And they cannot live without sources of supply to sustain their disturbing life-long game.

I have come to realize that my kindness, loving deminer and intellect was terrifying to my narcissistic mother. In her eyes I was effortlessly out shining her so she emotionally and mentally destroyed me to ruin those traits in me so that people would see her as more kind, loving and intelligent than me.

The narc fears being rejected and abandoned, yet they do everything they can to make you reject and abandon them...

So sad for the narcissist, but so bad for the victim..If only loving them worked, too bad they have suffered all the negative things that stole their identity

If you STAND UP for yourself against the Narcissist you MUST be prepared always for Retaliation....

Regaining your power after a toxic relationship is the biggest part of healing, especially since we’ve gotten so used to being controlled. Be kind to yourself and take it day by day, so you can begin to feel more powerful and confident in yourself again. 💙RU-vidr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

I don’t care about their sad sap life . He purposely pretended to be someone he isn’t . I lost out on 18 years of my life as I tried to understand him. He can go to HELL!

These people can’t stand me 😅 because I literally don’t give a sh** what I say, and refuse to let anyone tell me what to do, what to think, and will not engage in stupid drama conversations that’s BS. I also will call them out, in front of anyone. And it’s kind of fun to watch them squirm and not know what to say. Lol. I will not be controlled and also do not care if someone does a smear campaign on me. My motto, “what other people think of me is none of my business”. That’s how I survived a narc before. I ghosted him and didn’t let him get to me, made sure everyone knew who he was, and then never spoke to or of him again. When brought up I say, that person does not exist to me and I do not speak of or about them. I’d do it again. I’m ruthless if someone deserves it. And narcs do. They reallly do. They destroy people because at their core- they are cowards. The trick is not to care.

Some great points raised. It's really difficult to work in an office environment with a narcissist. They're always trying to portray everyone else as incompetent so that they feel secure in their job. Some of the worst days of my working life were spent being undermined and belittled by a narcissist.

My opinion is that, everything mentioned is the exact truth.

I recognized that my narcissistic mother was afraid of me. That is part of all of that strategizing, manipulating, lying, triangulating and gaslighting. Everything but raising her hand, because she knew I wasn’t going to have that.

They fear me because I'm much more intelligent than them. I have them figured out better than they have themselves figured out. I call their next move before they make it and I call them out on all their lies and BS. After being victimized for 58 years I'm enjoying watching their fear of me. Sorry not sorry.

This is an excellent explanation of who they are. Their obsession to control everything is contrary to human nature, but they cannot accept any wise counsel. Eventually we give up on them in order to survive.Their fear causes havoc to themselves and others. Distance is the remedy 😌

I explained my whole life story to narcissist, then asked the narcissist about them selves. She literally ran away. Classic Narcissist behavior. Now 4 years later, she still will not come in the same building I am in. I feel sorry for her, but it is not my job to help her. Narcissists never get better.

Toddlers in a adult skin suit.

My ex narc husband and his whole family were narcissists. And, they were all a bunch of spoiled rotten jerks who seemed to have been petted and pampered their whole lives. None of them disciplined their children, or tried to teach them to be kind, caring, sharing, and compassionate. Therefore, they all grow up to be mean, hateful, liars, and manipulators.

I saw all of these traits in my ex. It was a miserable few years of my life. I now know the signs and what to avoid in the future. Great video!

I know that for a fact that the narcissist is afraid of you especially if you have a restraining order issued for them or police are called for a stalking.

I had extremely narcissist friends who used to make me feel guilty everytime I stood my ground and told them things that were not ok to me. They used to say things like "I'm like this because of you, it's your fault!". They want respect but they won't give any. And if you go away from them and purify your life they'll say you're a shit person. If only loving them as human beings was enough! But It'll never be enough, and true love must be a mutual exchange of attention and care. It is a plant that must be watered by both sides, or It'll die. Narcissist people are like plants who need to be watered by you. When you stop doing it, they will get much hurt. But before that, they'll do their best to destroy you first.

Control, control, control is all they care about. People should call them out on their bad behavior but all I want do is avoid them, and not deal with them period, unless it is absolutely necessary.

The narcs do suffer anxiety. They are always trying to control everyone and everything. Impossible task.

True but, I always felt like I was in a competion with him.

I wish the whole world would call Narcissists on their behavior. Maybe then they would start to seek help, instead people give them the benefit of the doubt and get manipulated and confused. Narcissists are immature jerks and people should call them on their bad behavior. It is grade school kid tactics. People should call them immature. Narcissists get away Scot free. They take many things from people. More people need to call them on their manipulations.

My personal experiences with a narcissist, they are not intimidated nor afraid of anyone, they are confident… because they are highly intelligent, but use their skills to make others feel intimidated, twisting truth to their advantage… looking for any nature of weakness and takes advantage of that weakness. The have good social skills, but know how to manipulate a situation to their advantage. Recently I had learned that Playboy founder Hugh Hefner was such a character… of which a few playmates came forward after his death.

The fear of exposure is real and it may be my ace in the hole regarding my situation with this abuser.

They are not afraid of you they actually can’t care less about you that’s the fundamental of narcissist. They only care what you can give them.

This is probably the best video I have seen on narcissism.

Wrong. I narcissist wants you to talk to them as much as possible. They want to know you're emotional vulnerabilities so they can exploit them. What a narcissist hates is clinical short answers along with an abundance silence. Then get away from them once you've figured out they're narcissists.

Everything said here has been my experience.. Now if I could only figure out how to get him to pay me what I am owed.

All of this information on narcissism is wonderful except there are so many different spectrums and aspects! I do not and have not heard much about narcissistic children and how parents can feel guilty if they were raised in a narcissistic family but have empathy and refused to raise their children like that however, they turn out like that! Narcissist don’t feel paranoid, they don’t have feelings! Now in the last few months I’ve seen more and more life coaches give narcissistic abuse information that is completely wrong! Now we’re gonna have a society that wants to be narcissistic about narcissism!!!!! 🦋SURVIVOR🦋✌️

Oh dear. Playing the victim/charity case always surrounded by a circle of wrongdoers with “the whole the world is against me/I guess I'm meant to be miserable the rest of my life” attitude. Boy, do I know that one. I had a former friend who was like this and it wasn't until after I started studying psychology, that I was able to identify her as a covert narcissist. The most emotionally and mentally draining person I've ever known in my life. When I met her, I was a naive early 20-something with very little life experience. She was in her early forties with two small children, in a seemingly unhappy marriage and was perpetually unemployed. Because I used to let my empathy override my brain, I helped her out when she needed money. (I later found out that I wasn't the only one she had bummed money from). It turned into a lot of give with no reciprocation. She rarely ever paid me back. When I started pressing her to remit what she owed me, the mask started to slip. It was at that point that she started meddling in my life and trash-talking me to anyone who would listen, specifically her flying monkeys. When I called her out on this behavior, it was always a case of “miscommunication” or “misunderstanding.” She actually had the nerve to say to my face, “if I can say it behind your back I can say it to your face.” I shot her down stating that she never said anything to my face. Of course, this led to a fight and more character assassinations against me. The number of atrocities she committed against me, include but are not limited to, and in no particular order, are: as stated, borrowing gobs of money from me that she had no intention of ever repaying, spreading an entirely untrue rumor that I had caught an STD from a one-night stand, outing me to my extremely conservative homophobic Italian Roman Catholic father (my father and I were estranged and barely on speaking terms, but what she did caused an irreparable rift which led to him disowning me), she had the nerve to try and turn the day my father died into one of her spotlight performances but when I shot her down, she had the audacity to contemptuously say, and I quote, “Well, you two never got along anyway“ and, weeks later, she pretended she didn't trample all over my grieving process and not so subtly asked (demanded) I share my non-existent inheritance with her because she had lost yet another job due to poor attendance. Given these examples, I had learned of an exercise that psychiatrists have their patients do: take a piece of paper and write down on one column, the good about the person in question and in the other column, the bad. If the bad outweighs the good, that's when you need to come up with a plan. If the good outweighs the bad then it's up to you on whether or not you want to let the bad dictate the direction of your relationship. Well, I did this and I had pages, and I mean PAGES, of toxic, boundary-trampling behavior that my now former friend had done to me. Once I realized that our “relationship” was nothing more than transactional (she had exploited me because I had a resource she needed and thus had treated me like I was the light of her life), it was like a light turned on. Seriously, it was like in a cartoon where a character gets an idea and the light bulb appears over their head. I became enraged but it eventually gave way to indifference. Fortunately, she had moved out of state and I didn't see her or hear from her anymore because it was no longer convenient for her to contact me everyday for her “fix.” Like other narcissists, she had found new supply in her new city of residence. Still, my anxiety was through the roof. I remember jumping every time my phone went off or when I got a notification from her: the whole “what the hell does she want now” reaction. Before experiencing the utter lack of respect she had for me after losing a parent, the optimist in me had me thinking there was hope for her. Seeing that she didn't care AT ALL that I was grieving and feeling a mixture of emotions (because she was right, my father and I did not get along, but it was NOT her place to say that) it showed she had zero empathy for anyone or anything. She had the nerve to gossip to others I had been a jerk because I was displacing my grief over my father. This sole act put many people off as it had shown her true colors. When I found out that she was pissed at me for withdrawing from the world during my grieving process and thus tried to paint me as selfish for depriving her of my attention, I told her she was lucky she wasn't standing in front of me because I would have punched her lights out. This horrified her as she wasn't used to me standing up for myself or shutting down her entitlement. I finally came to the painful realization that there was never anything positive about our “friendship.” I purged my life of every single one of her flying monkeys and blocked them all on my social media (fortunately, none of them had my cell phone number and it wouldn't have been a problem if they did as I ended up changing it anyway). My former friend had no awareness whatsoever and never committed anything to memory unless she could file it away for later use to manipulate someone for her own personal, selfish gain. She didn't even notice that I gone no-contact and changed my number until she tried to call me to let me know that a mutual acquaintance had unexpectedly passed away. Never one to not put her incessant need for attention above everyone else (including her own children) or turn everything that happens into a story about herself (she even lied about having cancer), my former friend demonstrated how deeply unhinged she was by tracking down my widow mother's phone number and called her trying to find me. I mean, how dare I say enough is enough and lay down a permanent boundary. When my mom told me that my former friend had called her to inform me that our mutual acquaintance had died then quickly segued into turning his death into a story about herself and then tried to get my mom to verbally bash me during one of her infamous bitch sessions, my mom LET HER HAVE IT. A little fact about my mom: she is a German-Jew native New Yorker with a very big mouth. She takes absolutely no crap and makes Judge Judy Sheindlin seem like a cream puff by comparison. My mom was understandably appalled that she had so little class to use someone else's death to talk about herself (mom was also aware of what my former friend said about her late husband/my father) and called my former friend something that rhymes with selfish trucking grunt, told her I blocked her on everything for reasons that were “already well known to her” and to f*ck off. According to Mom, this reduced my former friend to tears (“she wailed like a baby!”) and the call was immediately ended. Never one to give up easily (unless it involved obtaining and maintaining employment) my former friend went to a mutual friend (someone I was eventually able to, thankfully, wake up to her toxicity) and tried to commiserate with him about how she had been disrespected and denied the one thing she wanted the most: my attention. He said that she threw a tantrum that would have embarrassed a toddler. She demanded that he block and cut me off to show solidarity with her. He said she verbally bashed me and tried to make me out to be this horrible person, but she totally forgot that he had known me long before he had known her. Thus, he knew all of what she was told him was false. He refused to do what she demanded of him but she repeatedly bugged (ordered) him to check my social media to see if I was talking about her. He again refused and stated that she wasn't as interesting as she thinks she is. Naturally, she got offended by that, too. This was the beginning of the end for the two of them as he had never seen her behave, in his words, like such “a crazy b*tch” before. I had seen it many times, but I imagine in my friend's case, seeing a 50-something mother and grandmother throw an absolute hissy fit, because she didn't get her way, must have been quite the unnerving sight. It's been over eight years and I haven't heard from her since. I imagine she thinks about me quite often because I was one of the few who got away and beat her at her own game. I pray for her that she finds peace and gets the ethereal slap upside the head from God that the way she is living is a one-way road into self-destruction. Then again, the possibility of her ever admitting that she is the source of all of her problems is about as likely as a Kardashian winning an Academy Award.

I believe that every human has narcissist traits. However as we grow and learn to love ourselves we overcome them

to many reasons to list. this 70 year old was placed in several group homes with other siblings at an early age. when he finally talked about it he down played it. there was a difference made between him and the 20 other siblings. Yes, early on there was an identity crisis so he involved himself with many unsuccessful relationships including one marriage that ended with him being left alone with nothing. Three relationships after that with children involved ended the same way. l spent over 40 years with him and he was better at hiding his issues but now everything has blown up in his face.

I'm afraid of the narcissist. They're DANGEROUS

All of the above is sooo very true! Narcissists r the most u Insecure people out there.

Dealing with my man sister and father...the mother's is quite and depressed...and the other sister is the mediator ..my man feels not heard and has suffered from their narcissistic abuse....I was raised taking care of a schizophrenic mother and have always been strong and real...they don't like my breaking up the sick dynamics...so I'm the scapegoat...and that makes me happy .... I see the crap and don't take it ..showing our daughter we can have healthy boundaries and respect....with no shame no guilt and no blame....just seeing people as people..pushing through with love.....good luck to all y'all dealing with narcissist's!

They're cowards and bullies..When I confront..they run for the hills

IMPORTANT POINT: ANXIETY is NOT an identifying trait of narcissists because anxiety is ALSO highly present in those people who have had some type of RELATIONSHIP with narcissists. It is ALSO found in people who have nothing to do with narcissists. It is the SAME FOR ABANDONMENT & FEAR. (Using these as identifying traits of a dangerous person can actually be a danger to those who are in danger, as anyone who is living with anxiety, abandonment issues, and fear is in a personally dangerous position in their own life. These people need kindness and assistance, not avoidance)

Absolutely correct. A very good persona is displayed by the narcissist but it’s all a lie.

My ex-boss is a narcissist. She is all the time quiet and stayed in her room, but would attack and bully you with abusive words verbally, by email or when she called me in her room. She made me feel helpless, doubtful of myself and manipulate her actions as her "kind" intention to "improve" me. When I took control over her bahavior and tried to retaliate, all hell broke loose....and finally I quit my job to get away from her monstrous control

Am exposing mine right now

Spot on. My sister's narcissism is a by product of her being diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 28. She is a drama queen & thrives on twisting & manipulating me. She has done this for years. Most recently, she recently gave me conditions on our relationship. I decided to put her manipulative tactics on her.. I mentioned I would EXPOSE her and the abuse I have endured for so many years while always knowing she could count on me to come to her rescue if she was suicicial or to meet her at the hospital. She praises her family in public. While in private when she was 'off' mentally I was put down, called names, kept isolated for years by not meeting any of her friends etc. She probably smeasred my name through the dirt so that she could gain the upper hand. I

That explains a lot! I Feel sorry for them but defenetely will try my best to not engage seems pointless.

They don’t act like it as much confusion as they keep up…

“They think everyone is like them” 😯

I feel sorry for them. That's a serious issue, and there should be some kind of help out there to help them. 🙏💞

All true.insecure.rejected .have to be winner.always in control

Unfortunately l know two narcissistic men, my ex husband and my sister’s partner. The description is spot on!! Luckily l left him 25 yrs. ago👍 however my sister just can’t seem to break away 😔 it’s very sad.

They are such a “piece of work”!! Learn as much as you can to ‘figure out’ your narcissist & your involvement with them (i.e. your trauma bond with them). Then plan your escape carefully & well. Execute it; get out for good. Then work on rebuilding your own healthy life! It’s a PROCESS that takes time. Not an easy one either, but your only REAL choice for a vital life!! God be with you!

Demon beings not Humans beings

My hope for the ex narcissist is that he is miserable forever. Because he tried everything in his power to tear me down. I’m still a very happy person and I left him first so I win.

The vulnerable narcissist I know always is obsessed about the hidden motivation of others, which of course are always negative. Paranoia is not a classic sign of the diagnosis but it should be in my opinion. He repeatedly said that everyone "is out to get him", hence it's better to strike first, because nobody is real..this was his eternal excuse for being dark..

One of the closest descriptions I have heard before. Well description of his behavior not necessarily the disorder. Thanks.

EXPOSE THE NARCISSIST

We have a narc in-law and it's just heartbreaking. If there are 20 signs of a narc (s)he has 21. The feeling of powerlessness to unseat this person is gut-wrenching.

Spot on! Concise and to the point! Thank you!

Isn't it something that victims of abuse get ptsd and have to control their environment to not have triggers of that abuse but they are not narcissist they are instead hyper aware because of narcissist. It's like using the same tools but for different reasons. Don't confuse it

It's so difficult to handle them all your temper and being umderstanding will not work for them.

I believe this to be true thank you so much 😊

They fear exposure!

Excellent commentary, true and easy to understand and apply to a narcissistic encounter. Thank you for this

once, he came to my home and sit i asked him what are his problems? i see thousands of them, so, start talking... he run away😄😃🏆champion ooh...he is like ping-pong ball always returns

This was very concise and directly to the point. Just found your channel today and have subscribed. Thank you 🦋🦋🦋

They should definitely be afraid of me , unless they can understand that i will never accept any type of disrespect or violation of my boundaries. If they can't understand then I'll find a way to get that through the thick fog inside their heads god bless much love

Omg I have never deal with so much anxiety in my life it’s since I started new friendships with him I thought I meet the love of my life the mind game that I can not pinpoint I am been ignored and when I texted him what’s going on clearly there’s issue on your side he called me in a second I was in a bad mood I didn’t complain to I made up story that me and my best friend I did have a tiny issue with her I was covering my pain from him because I was very disappointed that’s his this way I am not interested in manipulation mind game that’s deceiving at his lowest I truly wish him the best

Everything you said was accurate I receive this word in Jesus name amen 🙏

It's impossible to break through. She's wound tight. Her desire to question a person's motives incessantly, always bothered me. Now I understand. Control is all she's about. She even used the word as a threat.

They always put on you the responsibility of what they are doing. Truth and objectivity die in their surroundings. I have been calling the life around them distopya. Nothing makes sense any more. If you get a chance to get them out of your life, do not take the baits that they will send at you periodically.

Thanks for this channel. I find support here bless you all.

Incredible. I gained great wisdom

Thanks a lot.

Thank u, perfect explanation

Very helpful information.

These are true facts.

Thank you from Abilene, Texas.

As for my opinion. I agree with everything you said.🙂

Narcissistic abuse is horrible, it can create these traits on the victim as well after enough exposure. Some people recover and gain themselves back, others end up just as broken. A few years ago I would’ve found this video offensive, but I’ve reflected deeply on the habits and things I did to cope with years of this behavior around me and instead now use it to keep myself in check. I used to have a big fear of abandonment, however it was due to a narcissist controlling my life. When you have close friends that cut you cold without explanation it does start to build up an emotional complex and wall. I did question if I am a narcissist several times throughout, because of all the projection but it’s not without saying, narcissistic traits can affect anybody. Being accountable for our own actions and being willing to grow are huge. I think it’s important tho to look at more than just these signs, look at the type of people they are, can they feel empathy? Is their kindness for self promotion or genuine? Do they break others down or try to build them up more? Also Histrionic Personality Disorder, within the cluster B as well, these people are more susceptible to being manipulated themselves but some of their behaviours appear narcissistic. Quite ironic cos often someone with NPD targets someone with HPD as they are an easy scapegoat when the person with NPD has no use for them. These people recover once away from the toxic environment usually but NPD I believe doesn’t as they can’t reflect nor have the empathy to relate.

Yep true...for some of us ..

they've already lost control they are already exposed everything they fear has already came to pass and guess , they lived and they experience no loss of quality in their lives

Thanks you

Thanks for the content. My opinion or experience, rather, is that hanging out &/or engaging with narcissist/a narcissist affects one to an extent where you yourself feel that you are the one who suffers from narcissism. Its toxic flavour is, to me at least, contagious & recently I discover that personally I’m powerless as the pattern regards since I attract & headlessly feel attracted to narcissists, especially the malignant & grandiose ones to an extent that both scares, confuses & frustrates me. So yes, anxiety & grieve is also here with me. Better now at boundaries though & due to the consequences & the impact it has had, breaking it is of highest priority to me also realising that my human power & willingness to make it work isn’t at all sufficient. It simply slowly kills & drains one.

Constantly being afraid. It's a sad way to live.

Do they have feelings? One day he said he was crying but refused to tell me the why 🤔

I need to learn how to deal with one cause their silent treatment is crazy

She's not afraid of me at least she has nothing to afraid of.

Love it.

Spot on!!!

💕April 7, 2022💕 “I AM THE POTTER; you are My clay. I designed you before the foundation of the world. I arrange the events of each day to form you into this preconceived pattern. My everlasting Love is at work in every event of your life. On some days your will and Mine flow smoothly together. You tend to feel in control of your life when our wills are in harmony. On other days you feel as if you are swimming upstream, against the current of My purposes. When that happens, stop and seek My face. The opposition you feel may be from Me, or it may be from the evil one. Talk with Me about what you are experiencing. Let My Spirit guide you through treacherous waters. As you move through the turbulent stream with Me, let circumstances mold you into the one I desire you to be. Say yes to your Potter as you go through this day.” (JESUS CALLING)

They don't have a connection to their own soul. Satan is controlling that connection.

I don’t know what happened to these people, but I’m glad it didn’t happen to me. Damn!

Unique perspective 👍👌

I believe it 🙏

A narcissist is really bad thank God I don't have a narcissist in my life that I know of

Spot on

Yes.& they should be.💁‍♀️I don't back down. I say whatever tf! I want.whenever tf! I want.It's not my problem if they can't face the truth.👍😎

I do not believe there's fear by such over controlling humans ,but until they are caught within a particular sense they know.

This is so helpful and true! Thank you!

I scared the living daylights out of my narcissistic mother by exploding on her in anger one time after putting up with it for 55 years I got about a years peace from her then back into the old BS But she dropped a lot of the pretence ...like pretending something was stuck in her throat When she ate with other people around ...or manipulative crying She realises I'm onto her ...but it hardly makes a difference What really gets to her is not responding ....just stay silent It drives her nutty