Why The Narcissist Starts Caring When You Stop 

EXACTLY. Ugh they're disgusting

Amen he has helped me So much he loves me and Never gives up on me!!!

Amen Sister you said it well 👍

I definitely agree with you on this one! It's like being on an Emotional rollercoaster with these people & definitely Exhausting!😩..

Amen!!!

Yes INDEED. Really quite clear!

Yes clear as day

I swear a whole year this month so different now clarity

Yes it do. and then sometimes I wonder why I couldnt see who he really was for so long.It took me 9 years to see that he was emotionally abusing me and was loving what he was doing to me. I knew it was time for me to get out of this

So true!

Amen!!!

First 3 Minutes described n while relationship

I agree thank you Jesus for healing. 🙏🏻

Yes!!! The quick divorce and flying across the country (first class!:) was heavenly. Then it hit like a boulder! Trauma bond!!! It’s been a year since that flight and the trauma bond is very weak. I have fewer flashbacks and aha moments that make me so angry. Life is really good! It’s best to keep that as a mantra until he is dead to me. Best wishes to you.

So pretty. I know the feeling....

@RachaelBluee because they can't control another people only you that's why. Then they come back for manulation you

I couldn't have said that better Rose ! Excellent choice of words !!!

@@davidjthayer7417 Thank you and God bless you @David!!

Bravo, well said!

Love it! Huge Empath here!!! 🌹

Your statement validates what I've been doing since I learned about my husband's narc pd by adjusting as if living without him with my life and our 4-year old daughter- with the lowest to zero expectations from his side. It works so far.

Bahahahaha 😆

@@karishort1891 😂😂

It's weird, isn't it? it's like I could take myself into the third person and view how to think it is without even being emotionally involved. (That's how much these monsters insidiously destroy relationships by paper cuts or big blows here and there)

Yeah, even with smear campaigns, I think, “Oh you really thought I cared what they think? Must be joking! NOTHING’S worth knowing you!”

Yeah really more disgusted with myself than them but that's pretty normal in the situation. It's a lesson no one ever forgets.

Good job!

Awesome

Good on you. Sounds like that was a pretty extreme one you encountered! They come in 50 shades (at least!)

Anyone that has to work a way to fool us women are losers. There isn't another way to say it. Many of us women don't want to have to man handle you and when we can't be ladies what are we supposed to do? We won't tell .

......

Thanks for the heads up, we met and after spending time together I said to him, he’s not the one. A month later he wanted to try again, for a week he did everything in the cycle. So to the block list he went.

I was married 1 year, still am but refuses to give me a divorce . Thank god she lives in another country !

May I ask if you have children with the Narcissist? I have 2 which he isn’t really bothered about. We separated after 22 years of marriage 😔

I want to separate but scared. He controls the finance. He had told me if we get divorced he’ll sell the house. 25 years of abuse is enough. Just don’t know how to get out.

Soooo..T R U E .. we ?? but do we GET it ? hate us bt cnt let uz GO bcos . they didnt make the DECISION .GET IT PLSE

Well done you

so true

A peace of mind is priceless.

YESSSSSS!!!!! Best feeling in the world, self love

How are you having peace? How did you do it?

Oh yes frankly speaking I'm in love with myself I don't ever wanna associate with toxic and narcissistic people ever again ever !!!!!!!!

Hallelujah !!!

I once told my (ex) narcissist that he could dish it out but he couldn't take it. It felt great!!

Don't feel Bad.....Feel Blessed....Blessed that you KNOW THEIR "Tricks", and "POOR ME" BS, so you'll NEVER get dragged into THEIR "Imaginary" World......💪💪💪👍

There's soooo many!

I might end up having to do the same

I know a narcissist that actually thinks she's an empath. lol 🤪

Same

@@Whitewolf4869 my ex thinks she's an empath

Keep learning about narcissim bc it is everywhere ❗ good for you and good luck 🍀

Yes they will!

Victoria Spencer,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌷,hope you are not with a narc 😈!

Amen

Amen

AMMEENN❤

Sis same here. All in one week: love bomb, ghost, gaslight, devalued then I said enough so I discarded him all on a Saturday.

@joycecapers9680 Same here!

Amen amen amen

Amen!

Mine did the same and when I had enough because no matter how I tried to word or deliver the message it never changed. When I did leave the relationship she told me I gave up on her and people that live each other fight to keep it together. Funny thing is she never told me she loved me not was willing to listen when I felt her behavior needed correcting. It was a lose lose for me. I tried to really like her and I did in the beginning but I’m not taking any kind of verbal and emotional abuse from someone who brought ZERO to the table

@@hw2211 Unfortunately we are dealing with someone who believes they are superior and always right 🙄🤔😆

@debramarshall4293 Yes, I noticed that as well!

ASAP

Dun.... Dun.... Dun....Dun!!!

...Sound like a Taurus or a fixed sign lol I'm the same way..Im all gas no brakes when I love but once I run outta gas? 🥀⚰️

Told my nex the same thing too. She fucked around and found out 😂

@@Qd322 😆

It’s all fun and games when you give a damn. But the first time you get educated on who these mfs really are and start returning those behaviors to preserve self, now they go from laughing to crying. I’m experiencing that now, and I’m not having it!!

Amen amen amen

@mariankeller5852 Good riddance........!!! Thank you Lord, for getting me away from that fake "pastor, missionary...whatever he calls himself🫣

GREGORY KING--- So well said! Spot on 💯

I am 60 years old, and learned about narcissim 2 years ago, all from my first time experience of NarcEX husband. But, better late than never, and not too late to start over. The importance is we are free of narcists, and we live in peace.

@N wasted 13 yrs. I was 24 she was 27. Had an 8 yes old daughter. Met in a video game. She took away my sadness and loneliness. Talked 6 months on the phone, visited me a week, moved in and we stayed together the whole 13 yrs. I was her daughters step dad as she asked me to be and I agreed. I'm 38 now and 6 months out from AL of this. Pretty shattering experience so far..

@N hey thanks for the kind words. It's a first time experience with it for sure. Life feels like I'm just existing instead of living. Felt like my sense of purpose was just ripped out from under me. I was a dad and a husband (not on paper and no biological children ) and I even said it.."feels like I was just used " a narcissist usually always has something to say, but they didn't say ANYTHING at that point. Almost like a quiet YEP. feeling.

@N I began watching the channels back in March while she was still here trying to make some sorta sense of what was happening. The daughter is 21 now as of few days ago. Probably best I was around for that drinking that more than likely went on.. Just about any popular yt channel about narcissist I binged them since March even still to this day. Even the self aware narcissist channels. I'm also here trying to care for my 80 yr old mom and they took the family car as well as the beds and washer n dryer, fridge etc. It really is a way to do someone who invested allllllll that time, energy, effort ,emotional investment as well into it all despite the frustrations. I didn't run away like the biological dad did, although now I'm wondering why he REALLY walked out. It's tough though on how to really move on. I don't want to let them win by NEVER trusting again and NEVER being with anyone else. That's not fair to myself at all. But at the same time, I don't want to go through this cap ever again either. It's like I'm caught ..

I have a feeling this is what will happen to me when I leave

It goes both ways..we want to grow they want what it was in the beginning

When I read your comments, I thought about myself...I had to deal with both, father and mother, (being my father a covert narcissist) I was the empath for decades. Got free for the last 6 years. Needed to survive. My father died this year,now I have to deal with the golden son, who uses the same script as the father. For a long time I suffered of anxiety and phisically in different ways. I still get really anxious when I have to talk with my brother, now ( it's like he took the father's throne)...I became the scapegoat again. I'm fighting to get my peace back again!

Give yourself some time to heal. It will get better.

I promise you it will.

"This world rarely has any true justice". So true

I hope so. Im trying to get myself to let go, but the trauma keeps coming round day and night ...

@leahc8347 I know what you are saying I really do! I thought I met the man of my dreams then my life was shattered!!! I did not know anything about narcissism but learnt quickly. I had such a big shock Could not believe that someone who calls himself pastor, teacher, missionary could treat me so bad!! Will never ever make that same mistake. I spot things so quickly now and I praise the Lord for rescuing me. God is busy restoring me. I am praying for all the victims of narcissists. 🙏❤️

@Mary Carroll I hope you mean Ex husband.

God helped me also!

Thank you Clarice So nice t to hear you on this dreary day ✌️🙏🌹

My love please don't feel bad about that❤...be a primary supply to YOURSELF and SURROUND yourself those who actually LOVE AND SUPPORTS YOU! Don't be worried about being SUPPLY TO THESE CHILDISH ASS LAME IDIOTS❤❤❤❤❤

Exactly, the only advantage that they have on us normal people is that we didn't know anything about narcissism. Now the tables have turned. I am so happy that you got out. I dated two narcissist I can't even imagine how hard it is to be married to one of them. Awful creatures.

Yes, they are not good at taking care of anything, and don't mind living in filth. It blows me away and I can't wait to remove myself from the situation I'm in. I'd rather live with animals.

@@jelena7440 Thank you Jelena.

@@shelley7975 PlEASE do WHATEVER it takes to get out AND just as IMPORTANT, stay out PERMANENTLY. Do NOT make the mistakes I made--go FULL NO CONTACT. In time, you WILL HEAL. You WILL find peace and happiness again.

@@stephp7778 Glad you got out too. We do NOT deserve what they dished out.. Since I've become aware of narcism and what narcs do, I've noticed that narcs have EXTREME similarities, even through they came from different backgrounds, different cultures, different races, different countries, different levels of education. I still find that really really strange.

Amen!! ❤️

😂😂😂COPY THAT❤

Shesh! I was going through it, wasn't I! So much more peaceful now!😆❤❤❤❤!

10 months? You got off lightly. Those 10 months of misery will be a small price to pay for the lifelong protection your insight into this condition will give you. Be safe, be well, be happy! I can only hope that this next woman will come to the same conclusion and escape. You might even become friends with her! A fellow survivor :)

Sounds so familiar. Was with ex narc almost ten months. Those last three months was hell and he thrived from it. We were engaged so thankful God snatched me out. This was August 18th, 2021. I'm sure E.D.T. has already sucked someone in.

after 15yrs of being together, had a daughter. one day boomm, he said lets split up... he said it was me, and i confronted him if he got another affair. And he said yes

Your story is soooo much like mine. It was just about ten months. I went NO CONTACT and thank God my sister and brother in law are the two people we knew together. They say they not dealing with him, but for some reason I don't believe them. He was my brother in law best friend for fifty years. If you know a narcissist they will get back around people you know to hurt you. Yes it hurts deeply because I knew him for about fifteen years coming around my family. So when that mask came off he treated me like the bottom of his shoe😔😔😔😔😢

Be glad. Cost me 6 years and 6 months.

The key is you THOUGHT he was your best friend. Truth is, he NEVER was.

this breaks my heart

Yes I believe you and I thank GOD JESUS for being on my SIDE and I believe when a toxic wicked abusive narcissist persons past away they want come back as a GHOST 🙏🙏🙏

vesna Klipa,You look gorgeous 🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist!

Now that's the truth.... There

I feel the same way you do..... I broke up with my ex a year and a half ago and it feels so good.... It feels so good..... I'm back to doing the things I used to do before I met him.... I'm single no kids no grandkids.... I'm free I love my freedom don't have to be connected to a bipolar / narcissist..... He has all the traits of both.... Take care Happy New Year

Omg, everything you said at the beginning is what is going on. Bro

Glad you know all the new hip words for getting played Or getting dogged. Why so many words same definition you got played.

Shows your age as well

@mz. white exactly. They don't segue to actually figure out what went wrong. They argue only to provoke you, it either demean you, tires you out, or to see how emotionally invested you are

I know how you feel, Franny. I loved my husband narcissist so much. He became the most important person for me, unfortunately, and he treated me badly through many years. I suffered and our children suffered watching me like this. Too much pain, loneliness, stress and humiliation destroyed my self-esteam and self-confidence. Although it's finished, I am still deeply traumatised and have the problem to open towards a new beautiful opportunities in life...But I am not giving up, and neither are you. Best regards!

@@zrinkagulin6502 you and Franny have pretty much described my life with my wife ! The PTSD is excruciating, only God can heal us and deliver us from such diabolical reprobates !!!

Good for you.

Same! Viewing my own place soon!

Good job..We survivors are soo proud of you in case no one is telling you...Don't go back, ever.... The right person to share your life with is coming,just keep investing in living yourself and your children...Boundaries first when dealing with folks,will shield you..

@@melinatedvessel6840 , 3 little kids, nobody to help me then what do

I know that look, too. It’s crazy how similar they all are.

Same Unclean spirits in different bodies...

I love my guy but I’m scared he gets so angry . Everytime I try . It’s like I’m trapped

@@renizzwatson9302 I’m praying that you can get out!

Thats insane how predictable they all are….why couldn’t we all see it too 😩

KAROSHI2---what other things did your ex do to make you think or believe she is narcístic?

@@mariasartzis-pellicier1723 For example while I was struggling to keep our bank account in balance, maybe even save some money for the education she said she wanted to get, she informed me on a Wednesday evening to be on a holiday trip from Friday on so I would have to take a week off (unpaid) to look after the kids. Or on a regular basis I did the household, laundry, brought kids to school and kindergarten, went swimming with the youngest, then had a shower, went to work, returned around midnight (not a single extra hour), cleaned the kitchen again, tried to talk to her, got silent treated, went to bed to have 4 hours of sleep. Meanwhile she was watching movies and series, shopped stuff online, claimed to be stressed out and I wouldn't help at all. When I listed a few things I do do she complained I'd attack her, started yelling, insulting, ... and we had a hefty fight as I dared to insist on requiring some sleep. Or when she broke up she took the kids against their will as otherwise she "would have less money" as she literally stated. Didn't care a bit about their needs. Also took half of the stuff (ok so far) like dishwasher, the large living room table, washing machine, ... then sold _everything_, even the kids' beds, yet complained I would be hiding money when I bought some of those necessities - actually brought me into debt. After breakup random things disappeared. I was in a deep dark hole mentally, so I assumed to just have forgotten where I put them. Nobody was at home when I went to work and there have been some burglary in the neighborhood, so I bought some security cameras - and caught her coming into my house while I was at work, stealing stuff and as I learned later selling it. Told her I don't want her to get in when I'm not there. So I was a liar and a stalker. Didn't help, though, so I requested my keys back. She returned, brought her buddy, latter seemed to look for stuff but left the camera view. She meanwhile wrote a letter, complaining I'd throw her out and finally left the keys there. Later when a kid ran over to me (other side of the town) to escape from an excessive fight they had, she soon showed up and continued yelling at him. I intervened and sent him into the living room, trying to calm her down. She came in although I told her not to, kept yelling and insulting, so after a while I slowly pushed her out of the door and closed it. Thus she reported me to the police for assaulting her. (Luckily she's trained in martial arts, I'm not. So the legal defense was rather easy.) When the divorce was filed she invented stories out of the blue what I would be doing to the kids. Like giving details who said what, time, date, ... things that did not happen, if it had she would not have been able to witness them, the kids were interviewed and all said that never happened ... anyways I was accused of lying. Also she said I'd be alcoholic (I'm not - maybe 2-3 times a week I drink a bottle of beer in the late evening). Nowadays we only communicate via email as advised by the CPS, CC'ing the CPS, and she still insults, lies, ... and then wonders how the CPS lady doesn't see my "attacks". Just a few examples.

@@mariasartzis-pellicier1723 for me the rage out of nowhere followed by insults blew my mind. She told me “I’m going to knock you off your high horse” because I walked into a party and people were happy to see me. Her jealousy and envy for me was over the top!

Happy Thanksgiving 2021.. 1) Thank You for a pleasant day with no fear, anxiety attacks or craziness

You are very welcome!🌹

I feel like I'm going through the same thing you did. He sent me a text saying I think it's time we slow down or take a break because I have this big test to study for and you have your house to sell (pretty sure that was a breakup). It came out of nowhere but I think it's because I wasn't giving him enough Supply. I'm not sure if he's a narcissist or not but I know he has depressive episodes and wants to be alone during them. He's sober 20 years. I just wish I knew for sure if he's a narcissist. I'm glad you were able to walk away.

Preach 🙌🏾 you took the words right out of my mouth…. I thought I was the only one going through this crazy deranged toxic violent socialpath axx relationship… I mean you name it I’ve probably experienced it with him smh and as you called it the twilight zone 😔😭😩 it was horrible and just plan sad I’m still tryna get out of this ish and it hasn’t been easy but seeing all of you here giving your testimonies have helped me get through this bat crazy mess, thank you for sharing 🙏🏾 good luck and God bless

It doesnt have to be sexual ,my mother uses her neighbours for supply.

@@growingandlearning164 whatever makes them feel important I guess

Narcissists are way to needy. I'm an empath and prefer to be alone. I do not feel lonely.

@@biancaswart1101 Same here!!!

I wouldn't recommend listening to a Narcissist. His videos maybe somewhat infomative and entertaining but they will not help you heal.

@@ExposingtheNarcissist his videos are more than somewhat informative. I know what he is. A self aware narcissistic psychopath. I would never want to meet him in person to be sure. You see the narcs through the eyes of a person with emotions; the narc doesn’t have them. I now understand what occurred between me & my narc. I’m finally able to close the door & heal. He tells the truth about going no contact & grey rock. Many narc channels don’t even fully understand these. If I catch him lying I’ll leave the channel.