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Why we're unhappy -- the expectation gap | Nat Ware | TEDxKlagenfurt 

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This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. Why are we getting richer but not happier? Why do lottery winners not have sustained happiness? Why are bronze medalists often happier than silver medalists? “The first step to being happy is to understand why we’re often unhappy,” says economist and entrepreneur Nat Ware. In an entertaining and enlightening talk, Nat shows that we’re bad predictors of happiness, and explains why this is. We make decisions based on actual outcomes, Nat says, but our happiness depends on relative outcomes. We’ve been seduced into a way of life that conspires against our contentment by making it near impossible for reality to live up to our expectations. It is this expectation gap - the gap between our expectations and reality - that Nat argues is a key reason we’re unhappy. Nat challenges us to not relegate happiness to the world of art and the realm of hippies, but to start taking happiness seriously. The answer is not to simply lower our expectations, but rather to change the very way in which we make decisions.
Nat Ware is an economist, entrepreneur, and international development specialist. He is a Rhodes Scholar based at Oxford University, whose research focuses on social impact, poverty alleviation, and the economics of happiness. He is the Founder and CEO of 180 Degrees Consulting, the world’s largest university-based consultancy, with operations in 24 countries and over 4000 consultants worldwide. 180 Degrees has provided over US$50M worth of consulting services to non-profits and social enterprises so they can operate more effectively (www.180dc.org). Nat has lectured on innovation, strategy and global business at The University of Sydney, and was awarded the Saïd Prize for Top MBA Student at Oxford. He is a frequent keynote speaker at international conferences and events, and has consulted for many of the world's largest foundations and non-profit organizations. His other TEDx talk “Free Charities from The Idea of Charity” can be viewed here: • Free Charities from Th... .
About TEDx, x = independently organized event In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

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17 ноя 2014

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Комментарии : 1,1 тыс.   
@lastravenmph
@lastravenmph Год назад
This talk was given 8 years ago before the peak of social media. This man predicted the future.
@cartergomez5390
@cartergomez5390 9 месяцев назад
Social media can be a positive thing, it can be used to make money and not just consuming.
@MuhammadIsmail-mn6nh
@MuhammadIsmail-mn6nh 9 месяцев назад
​I'm umm I'm cool I'm in UW up
@bananarama3624
@bananarama3624 Месяц назад
​@@cartergomez5390It can be, but it ended up being a negative thing
@janedoe8566
@janedoe8566 4 года назад
I swear ted talks saved my life.. more than once
@emmart9061
@emmart9061 3 года назад
What ted talks would you recommend?
@ramez2207
@ramez2207 3 года назад
@@emmart9061 "how to stop screwing yourself over" "how to be more focused" "how to give a proper advice"
@susydyson1750
@susydyson1750 3 года назад
a lOt of very useful information!
@ReanneMendoza
@ReanneMendoza 3 года назад
The most relatable I've ever read hehehe same
@emsmac80
@emsmac80 3 года назад
Reading your comment and then your profile name.... love it 🤣
@syvonnekathleeno
@syvonnekathleeno 8 лет назад
He has raised my expectations in a man to an unrealistic level...
@mjwatson4981
@mjwatson4981 8 лет назад
ikr 😏
@chaosdream21
@chaosdream21 8 лет назад
ha! perfectly put.
@jasony7
@jasony7 8 лет назад
+syvonnekathleeno we used to be mates but then i realised he only hung out with me cos i wasnt as good looking so he'd look hotter comparatively :p
@lifemusic1980
@lifemusic1980 8 лет назад
you said it 😉
@lgr1412
@lgr1412 8 лет назад
Yep. It was hard listening to him because of his mouth. OMG, when he smiles sideways in cheeky half grin. . . . . hello, naughty imagination!!
@elliotlee3584
@elliotlee3584 7 лет назад
Turn your expectations into appreciation. There you go. Happiness solved.
@cjoviac
@cjoviac 7 лет назад
Jojo Tan Thank you!
@Cybraxas
@Cybraxas 7 лет назад
Tony Robbins quote ;)
@faxar1572
@faxar1572 5 лет назад
Elliot Lee Your wisdom requires its own RU-vid channel
@ivicaignjatovic5890
@ivicaignjatovic5890 5 лет назад
Great solution!
@DrAllisonQiu
@DrAllisonQiu 4 года назад
💝He's so handsome, so I can not focus on what he is talking about, but I believe he did a great job and his presentation is excellent.💝 So I believe appearance will interfere with our mental processing activity.😍
@InspiredLifeChannel
@InspiredLifeChannel 5 лет назад
Happiness exists inside everyone of us. The problem is we keep searching for it outside
@janedoe8566
@janedoe8566 4 года назад
Inspired Life amen!!!
@jdoes449
@jdoes449 3 года назад
Simply and clearly.. HAPPINESS IS IN FACT POWERFUL.. I AM... Coming soon.. look for us springboarding out of Central Texas, McLennan County, Texas.
@msims1081
@msims1081 3 года назад
Amen!
@jaylodder4203
@jaylodder4203 2 года назад
Well said!
@samairamalik3404
@samairamalik3404 2 года назад
Yes
@worldsofwood8809
@worldsofwood8809 7 лет назад
A man with that face, voice, stance, intelligence, confidence and humor.. tells us about expectations.. oh lordly HAHA
@KACZMARCZYK4369
@KACZMARCZYK4369 6 лет назад
init
@tannawannavannabittannawan7138
Most likely he didn't come into this world with the complete package that you see before you. He worked on it, and it evolved with time. I'm sure he had to face many battles along the way just like everyone else. If you want it, you have to do the same and work for it. Worlds of Wood, if you put on that magical blue ring, hold it up towards the sky, and spout out some command or rhyme, it's not going to magically make your dreams a reality either.
@aurorax607
@aurorax607 6 лет назад
I know him and he did. While i value his intellect and natural talents, he has faced little disadvantage in his life. Upper north shore sydney private school, stable christian upbringing, stable family unit, no poverty, mental illness or other socioeconomic disadvantage. Yes he's worked hard and he's an excellent academic, but i fail to trust in someone who has not truly experienced the essence of true unhappiness. He should stick to what he knows.
@desilazarova3964
@desilazarova3964 6 лет назад
Aurora X it's good enough that he puts efforts in unhappy people's happiness, even though he is not one of them. If makes it even more recognizable. I myself know a few miserable and unhappy people, who only find pleasure in making others miserable too. Not saying that's the standard, but the fact that one has been though something, doesn't mean he/she knows the best way out of it.
@kamilareeder943
@kamilareeder943 6 лет назад
Worlds of Wood yeah but like, things such as posture, voice projection, intelligence and looks are all things that can be worked upon if you want ? :0 like it’s perfectly fine not to and you’re still a good person, but like don’t think anyone has those things naturally ALL the time
@Mr1987atul
@Mr1987atul 8 лет назад
Life is an Exam where everybody has a different question paper...(it is unique)... therefore we can not pass the exam by copying others answers... we have to write our own answers which will obviously be different than others....(Don't compare yor life with others bcoz you are not meant to be like others..u r unique.)
@matthewspear2355
@matthewspear2355 6 лет назад
Atul Atul hi you exist. wow.
@rozaandhoor8734
@rozaandhoor8734 6 лет назад
Exactly
@THDTPSEvents
@THDTPSEvents 4 года назад
You are unique!!! (Just like everyone else)
@Dman9fp
@Dman9fp 4 года назад
Something I'm really starting to realize. If you have to repeatedly or forcefully show off / explain yourself to others to try to convince them of how cool, smart or etc. you really are, you already lost when you walked in the room or picked up the phone. People may say they're empathetic but in reality they do what's best in their own self interest and most in line with their flourishing. Life is too short anyways to walk on eggshells and change yourself just because someone is pretty and you want to appear to be in the status quo
@goutamboppana961
@goutamboppana961 3 года назад
but as a 10th grade rn school is actually killing this thinking of me
@shnemr84
@shnemr84 6 лет назад
My whole life is a series of expectations that are way higher than my reality! I grew up with family members and friends telling me that I will do something great one day, that I am some how special and will lead a special life (I don't exactly know or understand what they saw in me that is special from anyone else) and now with a failed marriage, Career that is stagnant, On and off depression, and an overwhelming feeling of loneliness, I am constatnly disappointed in my life. I need to get myself out of this vicious cycle and just accept what has been dealt to me and make the best out of it cause in the end I have been given things no one else has just as I have been deprived of things everybody else have. Life is too freakin short!!
@LalitaBanana
@LalitaBanana 9 лет назад
This turned out to be a much better talk than... what I expected!
@cynthia6163
@cynthia6163 5 лет назад
so you must be very happy!
@notjamesbond4179
@notjamesbond4179 4 года назад
Lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this turned out to be much better comment then I expected!
@mulonzee8773
@mulonzee8773 3 года назад
Raise your expectations 😋
@sastashroud7646
@sastashroud7646 3 года назад
@@mulonzee8773 have a wife like dani daniels
@brucesekliar5824
@brucesekliar5824 3 года назад
Exactly
@AlfonsoGavilanes
@AlfonsoGavilanes 11 месяцев назад
Psychedelic's definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source here.
@KarlitaBasurto
@KarlitaBasurto 11 месяцев назад
I have researched and found out that shrooms are very helpful , it has really helps to reduce anxiety and depression . I would love to try magic mushrooms but I can't easily get some , Is there any realiable source I can purchase one
@mendesenzo6943
@mendesenzo6943 11 месяцев назад
@Torres AndradePlease how do I contact him?
@bauerfelicitas672
@bauerfelicitas672 11 месяцев назад
@Torres Andrade I am feeling the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of his community.
@AlirioArteaga
@AlirioArteaga 11 месяцев назад
Does Sporeville ship?
@AgustinNavia-cg3rg
@AgustinNavia-cg3rg 11 месяцев назад
Tripping is not really bad but find a good mycologist Who will teach you the right things you need to know
@ilovemsmurder2
@ilovemsmurder2 5 лет назад
Totally true. I would have saved myself a lot of pain and heartache if I didn't have the expectations I did and didn't compare myself to other people. I wish I found this video earlier.
@alexandrkalabin7645
@alexandrkalabin7645 2 года назад
7:43 Imagination exceeds reality 12:24 We compare our reality to the reality of others 13:57 We are unhappy when our past reality is better than our present reality
@afonsomfneto
@afonsomfneto Год назад
Emma, agradecido por classificar em Minutos e Segundos, Deus te abençoe ricamente
@anthonytao248
@anthonytao248 Год назад
I have been very depressed and unhappy for 2 years. I don't want to take medication. I knew it is psychological. I have searched many videos and articles for a solution. This video is the best explanation for my depression and unhappiness. Now, I need to use this tool to solve my problem. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge.
@imiejego44ipo24
@imiejego44ipo24 Год назад
You can do it brother! God bless you🙏🏻
@cheeze.7912
@cheeze.7912 Год назад
U can do it man! 💯
@prolificempathy1034
@prolificempathy1034 Год назад
I’m in a similar boat, hope you are doing better.. let’s start living again
@ParadiseAndGin
@ParadiseAndGin Год назад
um yes you still need medication it's psychological and these meds are for the psyche
@tylerhorner7261
@tylerhorner7261 8 лет назад
This is a video that everyone should see. The message I got wasn't that you should set your expectations low in life but that you shouldn't allow your happiness to be contingent on material wealth and circumstances outside your control. If you are up for a promotion and there have 5 roughly equal candidates, you have a roughly 20 percent chance at the job and corresponding pay increase. Most people would be so blinded by their own self-interest that they would end up trying to justify why they're a more deserving candidate and then be disappointed if they don't get the promotion, which is very likely! If they instead focused on how they've been progressing in their work and focusing on how they can continue contributing more going forward, they would be more likely to get a promotion in the future and at less of a risk for disappointment because they're detached from the outcome of a decision over which they have little influence. Great work Nat!
@fadidabban
@fadidabban 8 лет назад
Magic word here is "self interest" whether it's your own or another.
@booverby
@booverby 6 лет назад
Thank you for a comment on the content and not the presenters looks. I think this is one of the most clear and well structured presentations on this very important topic.
@melipillow
@melipillow 5 лет назад
Tyler Hornero
@sparklej1142
@sparklej1142 4 года назад
You consider happiness in a focused linear view. I'm just an old retired teacher. What I tell my grandkids is learn. Enjoy learning. Everytime you learn something you didn't know, you increase the tools in your toolbox of life. And SAVOR. Love, laugh, work HARD, sweat, enjoy. God bless.
@KJ-pu8dw
@KJ-pu8dw 3 года назад
But that is putting expectations on a promotion making you happier. The promotion might mean more stress, less time ect.
@ArianeSartor
@ArianeSartor 3 года назад
I quit my job during the corona crisis and I am already making a living of my new business! 😃 I have never been happier!I have been held back by fear for YEARS whereas I see now that so much is possible! It is crazy how we stay in situations out of fear when something so much better is waiting for us on the other side! Thank you for making that video!
@brockennation2756
@brockennation2756 3 года назад
I already subscribe to your RU-vid channel 🤩
@yellowhorse1702
@yellowhorse1702 7 лет назад
The real issue is parents dulling children's spirits. Let their dreams live on, don't be the critical person in their lives. Let them fail on their own. Disappointment and failure is a major factor in people's lives. Is the supportive people that surround them that help them persist and move on and learn from their mistakes. Real the book- Failing Forward by John Maxwell.
@freeunderratedmusic4273
@freeunderratedmusic4273 3 года назад
I remember a time when I used to not care about what others thought of me or what faulty arguments they used against me... until my parents punished me severely for it. I'm trying to return to that state of mind.
@freeunderratedmusic4273
@freeunderratedmusic4273 3 года назад
@@Tyler-ig4cv Good news. I did it. Just leave all social media and don’t interact with anyone, it will be insanely easy
@JaysonT1
@JaysonT1 3 года назад
Cry me a river
@fernandoribeiro6336
@fernandoribeiro6336 2 года назад
Yeah! We share the same point of view.
@madisonavery4125
@madisonavery4125 2 года назад
I agree I feel like yes sometimes when you boost the ego of expectations it can cause you to lack happiness but at the same time absolutely nothing is impossible to accomplish if you limit distractions and fall 10 times but get up 11 times
@niachua
@niachua 3 года назад
happiness is seeing this man's face and listening to his godly voice.
@ariannaellie3087
@ariannaellie3087 3 года назад
I quit my job during the corona crisis and I am already making a living of my new business! 😃 I have never been happier!I have been held back by fear for YEARS whereas I see now that so much is possible! It is crazy how we stay in situations out of fear when something so much better is waiting for us on the other side! Thank you for making that video!
@zeea6507
@zeea6507 4 года назад
One of the best Ted talks I have listened to. I have been making myself unhappy with really high expectations now becoming more self-aware. Comparing less and loving myself more.
@afonsomfneto
@afonsomfneto Год назад
In life, you are not obliged to know everything, but you are obliged to find a solution - Na vida, você não é obrigado a saber tudo, mas é obrigado a encontrar uma solução
@05bacs05
@05bacs05 Год назад
I totally agree with you. 1 of my top 5 Ted-talks for sure!
@judyhattar6742
@judyhattar6742 7 лет назад
this guy just answered what ive been questioning for the past 2 years
@prt-ql1cv
@prt-ql1cv 4 года назад
@@sameerawasthi6808 usko kya pata raand kya reheta to
@tutorialshore
@tutorialshore 3 года назад
may be your expectation is beyond your imagination
@user-um1tb8vp8d
@user-um1tb8vp8d 3 года назад
I agree with you
@sastashroud7646
@sastashroud7646 3 года назад
marry me
@AndreiaRodrigues-db2md
@AndreiaRodrigues-db2md 2 года назад
My fiancé has told me more than once: the secret to feeling good is having low expectations. I guess he has a point.
@alaaaaa4132
@alaaaaa4132 Год назад
But how?
@daultonbaird6314
@daultonbaird6314 8 лет назад
Even though I don't agree 100% , this should be required reading for everyone and translated into all languages, and I see that even as good as this is , he didn't beat the expectation gap for 15 viewers.
@humanityandme
@humanityandme 7 лет назад
this guy should stand as the model for a well structured talk. clear simple English, clear step by step argument and summaries to remind us where we are at and an approachable non esoteric demeanour. well done dude. you inspire me
@atmannityananda-autognosia
@atmannityananda-autognosia 10 месяцев назад
The greatest imagination is that we think that happiness is related to external events, experiences and objects. But in fact, there is no any relation. What makes us happy is the state of our mind and Consiousness. When mind is vibrating in dattva and we are in contact with our essential nature we experience happiness. All the rest we think about happiness is just imagination
@PeteAlfieBailey
@PeteAlfieBailey 6 лет назад
I became happier when I stopped comparing myself to others, and generally stopped taking notice of my thinking.
@TheInimitableMissP
@TheInimitableMissP 3 года назад
So true. Comparison is the thief of joy, as they say.
@Amina088
@Amina088 6 лет назад
I find this talk to be a good reminder for examining our own expectations and our reality. It's hard not to expect because that's human's nature. Still, by being more honest and objective towards ourselves, we can lessen that expectation gap. Good luck, everyone! :)
@stevegwizzle3560
@stevegwizzle3560 8 лет назад
I have to agree with him. As a young child I saw myself being someone great and above many of my peers in school. Keep in mind that we were told to shoot for the moon and if we do not reach them, we'll land among the stars (I was also a A or B grade student). Its not that I could not achieve that level of expectation that I had for myself, its just that as a child I wasn't seeing the full picture of my reality and I was blind by future expectations that MENTALLY, I could not reach. Yes I say mentally because regardless of my low income family background, I could have achieved it but I just wasn't mentally prepared. I am 30 now and life recently slapped me in the face and gave me a dose of reality which I am truly thankful for, because now I feel that I am MENTALLY prepared and also continue preparing even more to take life head on. I've decided to make small changes in my life that I know will be fruitful for my future and happiness. One example would be that I've decided to learn how to be grateful for the small things in life (something I never practiced or cared for in my younger years).
@adingne8521
@adingne8521 7 лет назад
Steven B Dude. Even though I cringed to people saying thinks like, "you're so pretty you should model!" My mind goes like, "I have no idea what models go through but what makes me not want to pursue it is that I'm allergic to makeup and that I would rather get paid for playing video games and trying apps. " I've been pursuing rap after singing since I wanted to change "the game," to "I'm going to tell you straight up what's been shitty but let's come up with solutions in long run." All I hear is that, "I want this," or, "I got this," when in reality we will only get what we need of we work smart to get to it and we might lose something in process because we focus deeply on trying to be "successful." For me, I go off tangent so this is all I got for my character count.
@ing.arq.josbetvazquezgutie5018
I liked how true it can be the part: "we might lose something in process because we focus deeply on trying to be "successful."
@CruzVerdoza
@CruzVerdoza 4 года назад
what are you doing now with your life
@am7054
@am7054 8 лет назад
This was by far one of the best talks I've ever listened to.
@lisaw6219
@lisaw6219 8 лет назад
This man belongs on a movie screen! I could look at him for hours...
@matthewspear2355
@matthewspear2355 6 лет назад
Lisa W he looks like he belongs in a horror movie as a possesed doll.
@thehealerslm
@thehealerslm 5 лет назад
Cheater
@dmmoctober
@dmmoctober 2 года назад
@@matthewspear2355 Kinda have to agree
@PeteS_1994
@PeteS_1994 8 лет назад
I don't know if I only want to be happy, life is meant to have up and downs. I would rather be a bit disappointed coming 2nd in a competition than come 3rd place. I would rather work on something I feel unsatisfied with than just being happy with how everything is cause it will feel like I have achieved something. You can't have love without sadness.
@stevejjon2010
@stevejjon2010 3 года назад
This explains a lot of the self-sabotage I've done to myself. I could have been happier
@danishzeb9864
@danishzeb9864 3 года назад
word brother. word.
@themorningsky2632
@themorningsky2632 2 года назад
I definitely had issues with my life because of all the points he mentioned. I had to go through a traumatic life experience to start appreciating myself and remain in reality.
@kks319
@kks319 2 года назад
Me too.. I had big expectation and I ignored the small things and that was my mistake. I compared my life to others and see them happy and I was not feeling it. FB Instagram this social media makes you miserable coz unconsciously we will compare our self with celebrities. We should look down too sometimes and appreciate for what we have that others don't. Gratitude is must to be humble and happy. I don't say we mustn't dream but realize that some dreams are just the reason for our unhappiness which exceeds the reality.
@veshk3241
@veshk3241 8 лет назад
Wow he is so handsome! It's really ironic when a man like him gives a talk on expectations. Ah well bring on the cats lol.
@autumnhawj8450
@autumnhawj8450 6 лет назад
I couldn’t keep my eyes of his beautiful face and structure. Mostly attracted to his intelligence...but that face is so distracting!!😍
@John-vi2st
@John-vi2st 6 лет назад
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
@QUEEN-df1mc
@QUEEN-df1mc 4 года назад
@@John-vi2st okay we got it
@DrAllisonQiu
@DrAllisonQiu 4 года назад
💝He's so handsome, so I can not focus on what he is talking about, but I believe he did a great job and his presentation is excellent.💝
@JaysonT1
@JaysonT1 3 года назад
@@DrAllisonQiu Try and keep it in your pants, shall we?
@endeavoring352
@endeavoring352 7 лет назад
This really helped me so much. I have always been upset by not being happy with what I have and this really helped me realize that. Also, be aware that Nat Ware has a non-profit for giving people more counseling!
@aman1245singh
@aman1245singh 4 года назад
This guy is one of the modt handsome man I have ever seen. But what fascinates me more is the thought process he has. Any sensible and wise girl's delight.
@hugoingelhammar6163
@hugoingelhammar6163 Год назад
That expectation thing is a big one. One of my best travel experiences was in a place called Martvili Canyon in Georgia (Caucasus). On the pictures it looked amazing, but when we came there there were alot of tourists, very limited path where you could walk, everything costed extra etc. We were very dissapointed. But then our taxi driver said to us he could drive us abit further down the canyon, to a place where no people were. So we went there and came to an absolutely amazing place. No one other than us there, it looked like in the Jungle Book and we could swim around and do whatever we wanted. All for free.
@MiVidaBellisima
@MiVidaBellisima 4 года назад
The travel info is so accurate. When I was dirt poor I wanted to travel the world and now that I’ve been to multiple countries and most states, it is definitely overrated 🤷🏾‍♀️
@Scoman007
@Scoman007 6 лет назад
He does a good job of outlining what causes unhappiness but fails to look at the larger, more fundamental systems that create and benefit from this unhappiness.
@xploration4u821
@xploration4u821 2 года назад
thats another ted talk lol
@windflower7068
@windflower7068 Год назад
He conveyed many messages already. It is easier to control ourselves
@barbiebastille2536
@barbiebastille2536 3 года назад
thank you! changed my life, was feeling very low, I expected too much from myself and others, yet realistically nothing has changed!
@psudoctor3336
@psudoctor3336 6 лет назад
Also happiness changes when you realize as you get older the most important things in life become clear.
@lamaalhezayen244
@lamaalhezayen244 4 года назад
It was so difficult for me to focus on the talk because of his beauty. I had to watch it 3 times !
@yasirgamieldien
@yasirgamieldien 3 года назад
This video sums up what I couldn't figure out on the journey of figuring out how to be content and be happy. And the "Reality minus Expectations" equation makes so much sense when explained this way.
@LMae-rj9qi
@LMae-rj9qi 2 года назад
Awesome talk. He confirmed some things I already knew about myself and why my happiness fades sometimes. Thanks for helping me understand me.
@emilythesongbird2306
@emilythesongbird2306 7 лет назад
Clever insight about happiness! What happens with me is that when my reality doesn't match what I think I want, the chatter in my head starts going and then I lose the moment and the sense of being present. I wonder if this is an indicator or the expectation gap and/or if there is more that is possible to manifest for my life that I need to take steps toward. Thank you for your charming talk!
@user-gf1wr7oc7c
@user-gf1wr7oc7c Год назад
@The_MissJarvis
@The_MissJarvis 4 года назад
This so spot on it needs to be shared more! Such a great wake up call to do a self audit and improve your own personal happiness through changes made in your perception.
@schalazeal07
@schalazeal07 8 лет назад
Great talk! Expectation as being the source of unhappiness is soo true..
@chinthiacindy
@chinthiacindy 8 лет назад
That was absolutely eye-opening. One of the greatest talks I've heard on Ted. Thank you, Nat!
@stianaasland9740
@stianaasland9740 4 года назад
I love this guy, the embodiment of my thoughts. People today seem oblivious or distracted from this sadly
@apatrick3532
@apatrick3532 3 года назад
I need to focus on me and what I can change. I am trying to change fields at almost 50 and have been so frustrated with politics, this virus, and some people not showing consideration. I think I needed this. Thank you.
@dudette2c
@dudette2c 2 года назад
How are you doing now?
@rebeccanascimento8234
@rebeccanascimento8234 9 лет назад
Amazing talk,especially when he talks about competing with ourselves....
@Ms00005
@Ms00005 6 лет назад
I had to listen to it again with my eyes closed. I could not concentrate watching him, he is just to gorgeous!
@saadiasabouri89
@saadiasabouri89 2 года назад
Ladies and gentlemen this man turns my expectations to another level ..... thank you
@frenkiedesorm7722
@frenkiedesorm7722 5 лет назад
It’s been my favorite channel so far. The speakers bring me variety of incredible experience and knowledge .
@geoffoakland
@geoffoakland 2 года назад
This is all so true in the world of online dating. Peoples expectations are often unrealistic and you are presented with so many potential choices, that when you do choose or hesitate to choose you often are thinking of the other 50 people you didn't choose as a potential loss. In other words people focus on what they might have had instead of what they have. The paradox of choice.
@kks319
@kks319 2 года назад
Ya we miss out so many good peoples
@snezhanaspasova2584
@snezhanaspasova2584 3 года назад
This is so true ! I was unbelievably happy when I won 3rd place in the local math competitions (mainy because I didn't prepare properly and didn't have any expectations at all). I remember my parents were also so surprised we went out and celebrated as if I won the nationals :D Whereas some of my friends got reminded they could've won 1st place instead of 2nd. Expectations sometimes come from the people who love us the most. Small wins are worth celebrating !
@TopSpinWilly
@TopSpinWilly 5 лет назад
You have given me realization that i can enjoy my future more by managing expectations. My confidence and happyness derived from this will probably be self fulfilling. Thanks man. I will search you for more good stuff.
@MrAkosFintor
@MrAkosFintor 3 года назад
There are two ways of being unhappy. Not getting what you want is one. Getting what you want is the other.” E. Tolle
@prataps2341
@prataps2341 8 лет назад
one of the best Ted talk I have ever seen...the guy is really talented and I wondered that this video doesn't have even 1M views
@sukhan9854
@sukhan9854 3 года назад
I wanted to tell u it is now 1.5m views
@e.s.r412
@e.s.r412 Год назад
19:51 19:51
@mosepro.1423
@mosepro.1423 4 года назад
The most realest thing i have watched on youTube, thank You
@wiiseguyy305
@wiiseguyy305 6 лет назад
I have never heard it explained this way. Best Tedx I've ever watched!!
@madebyluv
@madebyluv 6 лет назад
He's a beautiful speaker. So much clarity, such good delivery. Really really good !!
@morganneblackburn1318
@morganneblackburn1318 9 лет назад
Awesome. Hadn't thought about it that way but makes a lot of sense! Love that you presented academic stuff in a fun lighthearted easy-to-understand way!
@changetheworld7274
@changetheworld7274 2 года назад
I am very happy after watching because this talk far far exceeded my expectations. But when I learnt it’s 7 years old talk a little unhappy why I missed it for so long.
@rhishikeshdongre7553
@rhishikeshdongre7553 6 лет назад
One of the greatest TEDx talks I have seen so far, I hope he is called for TED talk one day.
@vanessavargas1565
@vanessavargas1565 7 лет назад
Wow. Easily one of the best TED Talks.
@sparklej1142
@sparklej1142 4 года назад
Well, you did it Nat. I'm setting up a file for best TED's and you're the first one there. Talks like this do make the world a better place. God bless.
@marekwisniewski765
@marekwisniewski765 Год назад
I may have to listen to it like at least 100 times to fully comprehend the depth of the message here, thank you so much:)
@mbrown2828
@mbrown2828 5 лет назад
It's impossible not to listen to this guy.... he is so perfectly formed in everyway... what a joy to be him. It's great that he cares about society at large so much. Bravo.
@yassi8814
@yassi8814 7 лет назад
I'm so ashamed to say I completely forgot what he was talking about. He is so incredibly handsome in a classic way that I became distracted. He is gorgeous. Sweet Sally.
@JaysonT1
@JaysonT1 3 года назад
You should be ashamed.
@sallystark7
@sallystark7 2 года назад
🤭❤
@JapeCity
@JapeCity 6 лет назад
One of the most magnificent Ted Talks I've heard.
@xploration4u821
@xploration4u821 2 года назад
wow this talk was done in late 2014 and i only saw it this month. wish i saw it sooner! so insightful
@miladyamalia6446
@miladyamalia6446 10 месяцев назад
Lovely, brilliant, compassionate!
@nikabir3602
@nikabir3602 8 лет назад
amazing... i love this talk.. really love this talk.. expectation kill us. kill our happiness.
@daryagecer
@daryagecer 7 лет назад
You're such a heartbreaker Nat! Don't be so handsome with the cutest smile. Anyway now I will try not to raise my expectations from guys:(
@youssefhamidi8152
@youssefhamidi8152 5 лет назад
This is absolutely spot on. I hope more people have a chance to watch this.
@KesenyaMoore
@KesenyaMoore 5 лет назад
What an inspiring young man .... with thinkers like this around, there is hope for the future. I have found that the older I become, the lower my expectations are of life - maybe this is actually called wisdom. 😊🙏🏻
@ledagiordano1650
@ledagiordano1650 8 лет назад
Really a very clever vision of mind ,and how the expectations works, now I understand why when as a young traveler I met children with nothing to be happy ,they were happier than my friends at home . Thanks
@angelinasingson7408
@angelinasingson7408 8 лет назад
+Leda Giordano : i like the observation, it always fascinates me to get this topic discussed.
@morganneblackburn1318
@morganneblackburn1318 9 лет назад
Watched this again. So good!!!
@cherlynmaeagan9048
@cherlynmaeagan9048 2 года назад
I can watch this talk from this man over and over and over again
@christineinhonolulu
@christineinhonolulu 2 года назад
This entire talk is essentially an explanation of Buddhism’s Second Noble Truth.
@jaynd
@jaynd 5 лет назад
I'm setting my expectations to my reality and letting it go.
@cindypurnamasari5890
@cindypurnamasari5890 7 лет назад
i didnt expect him to be this cute.
@xuanius
@xuanius 7 лет назад
cindy purnamasari he surpassed your expectation and so now you're happy ;)))
@joshray2117
@joshray2117 6 лет назад
a realllllyy good ted talk. This is what everyone needs to hear in the age of social media
@djhawke6464
@djhawke6464 6 лет назад
I was cleaning and listening to this and was so moved by it and then I went to pick up my phone half way through the video and saw the most handsomest face wow. beauty and brains, thank you for maintaining my faith😍
@Saffron.Aerowyn_07
@Saffron.Aerowyn_07 6 лет назад
I think it was Dr. Wayne Dyer who said to have intention, rather than expectation...meaning that it is not wise to be ATTACHED to outcomes, which can bring about much disappointment...only do what you can to your best ability & able to move on if things do not turn out in the way that you expected...even our failings can become lessons (how can I improve this for the next try?)...what a stress-free way to live 😉...also, GRATEFULNESS for what you do have is a mighty plus.
@everydy
@everydy 5 лет назад
Thanks for this comment, an author to put on my reading list
@zirconce
@zirconce 8 лет назад
Thank you so much for an very enlightening lecture. I am happier already.
@des895
@des895 5 лет назад
This guy found the key to happiness! Clap, clap, clap, clap!!!!!!
@meli7a-lee
@meli7a-lee 2 года назад
This was brilliant and succinct. It encapsulates so much of what I've experienced and seen around me, in a much more articulate way than my brain could piece together. I've struggled with decisions and the pursuit of happiness for decades and am constantly getting better at being comfortable and accepting of who I am and what I bring to everyone else's life. Perhaps this improvement I feel for my most important personal goal matches exactly what he spoke of in this talk. As I learn and improve, I feel happier. And that's all I want for this short life of mine, really. 🤘🏼
@milenastoyanovabg
@milenastoyanovabg 9 лет назад
Handsome and very intelligent angel. Loved the talk!
@Emghtes
@Emghtes 8 лет назад
+iTube Nice non-objectifying profile picture.
@Emghtes
@Emghtes 8 лет назад
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH! Get well very soon.
@Emghtes
@Emghtes 8 лет назад
HAHAHAHHAAHH!
@Emghtes
@Emghtes 8 лет назад
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA LETS LAUGH UNTILL WE DIE HAHAHHAHAHAHAH
@WonLotto100M
@WonLotto100M 8 лет назад
I must be unhappy because I had an expectation to be married to a man like this at 25. I'm turning 40 in 2 months and I'm still single and a single mom as well. I guess my expectation bar was set too high when I was a younger woman. What to do now.......accept my life as is and just live every day as though it were the last! Great presentation and great info provided. Watching it over and over again!
@WonLotto100M
@WonLotto100M 8 лет назад
"a man like this" = Nat Ware
@Theddyfield
@Theddyfield 8 лет назад
+modern geek When you say it were the last = you mean - let me live it fully because i wont get this opportunity again? or thank god, its over , let me get over with? Let me tell you that, the quality of "love" given by a partner does not depend on his looks, but only depends on the quality of love itself. So, if there is someone who gives you that love which makes you extremely happy, go for it! :) Dont wait around for this man! :D When we give so much importance to their looks, they feel empowered and treat us like WE don't matter. So naturally, give importance to us. And do not place power on the external things.
@WonLotto100M
@WonLotto100M 8 лет назад
+Theddyfield oh How I appreciate your response to me. I had to go back for a sec to read my post. I don't believe I said anything pertaining to his looks....physical traits. I did say "a man like this".....very unspecific to allow for interpretation. Which is what you've done. Thank you for your feedback. I'm truly attracted to a man like this.....Nat Ware .....but you're right, it doesn't mean it'll be love.
@Theddyfield
@Theddyfield 8 лет назад
+modern geek Now I feel silly :). May be I got swayed by the comments left by other people about his looks. And also I went by the age you mentioned, 25 as a number. Usually we all will be dreaming of prince charming and the perfect love. So I made a few assumptions there, my bad!
@tuzisyy
@tuzisyy 7 лет назад
what a gentle discussion between you too :)
@rollandjoeseph
@rollandjoeseph Год назад
Lot of truth in those words ! I have a modest income and house compared to most of my unhappy friends who talk about expensive this and that, living in houses 3x the size of mine . I use every room, they use 1/2 of theirs ..and I'm more thankful , humble and happier as a result of my life's contentment
@kenhoover1639
@kenhoover1639 2 года назад
This was so interesting! When you stop and think about the points made in this video, they all make perfect sense.
@2Evil2Hope
@2Evil2Hope 7 лет назад
I think this further confirms that trying to achieve happiness through "external referral" is not only pointless but also rather harmful. It would seem that a search inward which can yield the infinite is the only true place "one" may continually sate the insatiable desire within each of us.
@khadijahalalwan1200
@khadijahalalwan1200 4 года назад
Amazing, beautiful, ingenious.. Seriously thank you for sharing this with us
@sscott504
@sscott504 6 лет назад
This TED talk is confirmation for me!!! Thanks.
@alibeaumont-filder3185
@alibeaumont-filder3185 3 года назад
Brilliantly revealed and achieved by this young , wise presenter .. thank you to the source .
@adamaj74
@adamaj74 5 лет назад
“A cathedral, a wave of a storm, a dancer's leap, never turn out to be as high as we had hoped.” ― Marcel Proust
@danmashman2500
@danmashman2500 4 года назад
2018/2019 My New Year resolution was to" just not slip any further down the pole of life". I was just so sick of writing some big list that I never seemed to get anywhere with. I was 47 and overweight ,with some health problems starting to appear. I then joined a gym and lost 10kg's ( 22 pounds) and have kept the weight off for going on 10 months. .By not overburdening myself I found it easier to achieve my goals, as they were ALL" perceived as wins. lowering your expectations shouldn't be seen as a weakness, but as a way to keep things simple so we can focus on one task at a time, and by doing small tasks well, we find contentment. You have also perfectly explained why a lot of child stars end up going "off the rails" in adulthood. Great stuff thanks again.
@marwamoon5261
@marwamoon5261 7 лет назад
best of TED talks for me hands down Thank you
@carlonoto2208
@carlonoto2208 5 лет назад
This is the man for the ladies with high expectations and I can cover the less expectant amongst you x
@tltltl_17
@tltltl_17 9 лет назад
so true what this guy is saying. a great Ted talk
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