Why Won't My Ex Work On Our Relationship? 

I’m going through the roughest time of my life right now. I’ve watched hundreds of videos from various people. Coach Lee is the most logical and able to put things in perspective unlike anyone else I’ve listened to on you tube. It’s literally like he’s talking to me about my exact situation. Coach Lee I can’t say enough good things about you. You put things into clear perspective for me. I know nothing is certain and I still have hope and things will continue to be hard I feel so much better after listening to your videos. It’s obvious you are a genuine human being who really cares about people and their relationships. Thank you my friend.

There are so many beautiful people in comments right now. Exs must really be such fools to throw away these fine looking people with very good hearts.

I like the statement(and fact): “They will miss you more than the issues that bothered them when they were with you.” Awesome point to remember.

The nights alone are the the hardest parts of no contact

My life doesnt even feel real anymore. Like I don't even wanna be on this planet right now

Its pretty simple, they don't care enough to work on it and more than likely blame you for it not working.

Been in no contact for 1 week, joined the gym , life’s too short to be miserable, so her loss now , remember we are all amazing people,

I’m working on giving him time and space. I’ve been in NC for a week now, I’m trying to remain strong but it’s hard. He broke up with me a month ago so I’m trying to just keep focusing on me. Pray for me lol

I don't think my ex care

I’m not even trying to get my ex back. However, these videos seem to bring more understanding on relationships.

Seriously the more I watch your videos the better I feel about myself. My wife of 15 years will regret losing me. I'm good looking, take great care of myself, financially stable and got my shit together.

3 years relationship. She dumped me for someone else. 36 days of no contect. Sometime i cry sometime feel confident i don't know what i do

This guy is so good at what he does

He didnt want to work on what happened..instead..hes ghosting..real mature .

What kind of people are we when we constantly need to feel high attraction in order to stay with someone and want to face problems..

I don't want any of my exes, I just want a husband! Meet someone to have a family.

I’ve on NC for 3 months now. He didn’t reach out. I got dumped two times and realized it was boosting his ego. I was just too easy to have for him. I am working on myself spiritually, mentally and physically. I am able to see so many errors in our relationship. How we both hurting each other . I was too good for him, too challenging, too strong, too independent. He wanted to have all of me without putting any work in our relationship. Now I am working on myself hoping that maybe he will realize the issue and reach out someday and hoping that I will move on with my life until then and find someone who won’t neglect me and my feelings.

I have found so much comfort in Coach Lee in my most desperate moments when I've not known what to do. He calms me, soothes me and gives me strength.

Coach lee is fantastic at What he does, he has A deep understanding of the human heart.He Speaks clearly and is kind and caring, and a great support. Thank you , you are truely Helping me Through a terrible time.

I wish I watched these videos a month ago. He exactly described what I did when my ex asked for break up.

I’ve probably watched all his videos over 3 time because every time I feel useless, not good enough or can’t keep the motivation for the no contact/ radio silence I watch his videos and it gives me the motivation, keeps me on the right path and in the right mindset 😔

Thank you coach Lee. You are amazing. It's like you know everything about everyone, whoever watches this.❤ Great stuff.

Your sober presentation in your videos is well made

I wasn’t willing to give time and space in the relationship- I feel like I’m making up for it 1,000 times over now!! I’m now ok with time and space. Progress

man I love your videos. they have really helped me grow as a person and I wish I knew this stuff before

Word for word is my truth right now. thank you

When I get married I’m going to make sure to send you a nice gift, you are one great internet therapist- God bless JDD

It feels like I’m standing on a dock watching everything I own sail off to sea. I held on much longer than I should have. Essentially, I ended up handing them the breakup on a silver platter. If we never speak again, I will eventually be ok. This hurts more than I originally thought, but I finally my Faith in God, depended on Him and got some self respect. I learned I am stronger than I thought. My no contact is not a mental game being played. Time heals all wounds and I wish them well. If God decides we should be together, then so shall it be. I have too much to offer myself to be dismissed by another human being.

Hes talking about how if they love you enough that they will be able to love you even with the issues, but im gonna go one step further and show growth publicly towards fixing said issues during no contact. Not only will she start to wonder if the issues arent that bad, but she'll start to question "Damn.... Maybe i was wrong.... He can fix these issues and i just didnt give him a chance too". Im hoping that the thought of losing our connection, plus the issues shes mentioned being gone, plus her losing control in the situation together will be enough to bring her back into my life and from that point forward ill never lose her again. Not happening. We got this boys lets get them back

It all makes sense man…thank u so much…it doesn’t matter if ex comes back anymore, I now understand Wat really happened which was bothering me in the first place

This video message is spot on I literally heard and experienced what coach Lee is speaking about before I was aware of this video it is extremely accurate and interesting how people behave during a breakup.

My ex told me that one day he woke up and realized that our relationship will never work out anymore. I never believed that reason.

Unrelated but you remind me of Dexter lol. Helpful video though

If he didnt want to work on our relationship then he doesnt deserve it! End of story.

Coach Lee you've answer almost every question I've had concerning this breakup and many other thruout my life. Thank you so much.

He breaks my heart once.His good bye is my blessing. The videos removed all lingering doubt, thanks for that. I do feel a deep, deep loss even 5 months post, but I will grow, as I always have. Thank you Roy...

This is so helpful you just saved me from making huge mistakes - 28 years of marriage. You’re a genius

Thank you for this video. It’s been 2 months today since no contact. I’m being patient. I hope you’re right he will get to the point of missing us to finally reach out.

Thank you so much Coach Lee. You’re my inspiration and listening to your vids makes me keep going. Plz do more and thank you❤️

I hope he misses me

This is my favorite video of Coach Lee! I want my roommate back.

I'm going to watch of another video but this is nice to keep learning the advice Coach Lee I want to learn more thanks alot

It was just so crazy because he literally did nothing to fix things. He broke up with me because he didn’t feel the same connection. When we first broke up I just said I think we should try to work on it. We just had got out of the honeymoon phase. He said he’d like to work it out then and 3 days later I find out he’s already talking to someone else. He said it was because he had already “moved on” months ago, and got angry at me because I was upset that he didn’t communicate that he’d felt that way. I’m so tired of people treating relationships like they’re disposable. You should do everything you can to work things out until you can’t.

Thank you so much Coach Lee I have learned so much and have gained so much so confidence in myself from watching your videos thank you thank you coach lee you’re the best

Dude your a freakin game changer! It's funny that I found this now, I think wasn't ready to hear this before.

Amazing, this video was posted 2 years ago and I'm experiencing all these videos now. I guess better late than never.

His voice calms me down

I was just about to give up a few hours ago. Im 4week NC. After i saw this video. Everything he said happened to me on this. im gonna keep going and not give up. I love her she worth it..❤❤ thank you coach Lee.

Thank you Coach Lee! You’ve helped me so much!

Hi Coach your videos have literally kept me from losing my mind can you make a video explaining how to get your ex back if you cheated emotionally

One of the Best episodes. Thank you!

Coach Lee please make a video for short term relationships. Mine was 3 months but I know in my mind that there was a connection at one point. It felt real and now it doesnt. I feel like a fool. Its been 4 months since our break up. Is that still fresh? We work together as well so seeing her every day kills. Maybe make a video on that as well?

Yeah the constant conversation was called the stupid quarantine that forced to be around each other all the darn time now I'm on day 5 of no contact and I can't stop crying but there's no way in hell I'm going to contact him he was trying to be my best friend and I cut it off he doesn't know that.. your videos have been such an inspiration to me I wish you could talk to me in person but now I'm going through two broken hearts and it's really hard losing my husband and then losing a man who I thought was going to be my second husband

When covid happen we were around eachother so much dealing with eachothers stress. This has made us full on see eachothers flaws and she took my mistakes personal knowing I had good intentions and I'm seeing her flaws as mistakes instead of personal. Damn I keep tryna tell her all or many of the factors that played a part in our disconnect but shes not hearing it right now. It's hard to separate with the children involved and outles and resources are limited. Damn idk how to win in this situation

I agree Coach Lee you really help to understand a little better each time I watch. I am still so broken togesther for over 3 years and it truly hurts to think how they just end it like nothing. I'm doing n c but don't know how long I can keep it up. Ty for your any help u can give..😢

My ex told me she didn't feel the same anymore and wished me the best. We've had no lies or cheating in our relationship. I'm a week into NC but I'm doubtful :/. Your videos give me a little hope Lee

Yep. I did everything wrong. Everything. Again and again and again. Even knowing, intellectually, and even common sense-wise, everything I was doing, or not doing, was all wrong. I knew she was relieved to break up with me, and glad to be away from me. This was also the case for other women who left me. Relief. I knew I was only validating her actions and driving her even further and further away, yet I couldn't stop. I couldn't control myself. Even with family and friend "sponsors." I was the poster child for self-loathing, no self-esteem or self-respect, and sabotage! Eventually, I got on meds and STILL I couldn't pull it off. I was like Lon Chaney Jr. in the "Wolfman." I needed to be tied to a chair with the coming of the full moon. Only in my case, I needed to be tied to the chair for about two years. Or maybe three years. Or four? If someone ever invents a drug that makes one forget, or if hypnosis truly works, that will be a mega-billion dollar cure. I have been single now going on five years. No dating. Nada. After 40 years in the trenches and failing again and again. (I kept choosing women that need fixing/healing, etc., so that's my realization - that I'm an enabler/co-dependent, etc. who gravitates towards partners who are on the narcissistic spectrum. My self-healing has come, finally! Still continuing, of course.) To Coach Lee's point, my partners apparently never thought I, and what we had, was more important that our issues. In my last relationship, the issues were: I didn't walk away from a passion - a music recording project (she delivered an ultimatum on this) - I stayed late at the office too much, and broke my promise to take her to Paris. These were her stated reasons that proved to her I didn't really honor or cherish her, which, of course, killed me because she was the love of my life. I know that's a cliche. And I've had other deep loves. But she was it. But being single/alone - but not lonely - has been a tonic and life-changing. I highly recommend. It's the best thing I've ever done. I still miss her and will always love her, but I know she's moved on and I will likely never hear from her again. But the thing that matters is to let go of any hope that she/they will get in touch. We can't live our lives hinging on that extremely remote possibility. It's not beneficial in any shape or manner. Believe me. And believe Coach Lee. Hang tough, everyone. Do everything you can to tie yourself to that chair and never untie it 'til the full moon is gone, even if that takes months, or even years! AhhHOOOOO!

Coach Lee, I am a lawyer. Your advice is invaluable.

I have been in NC for 3 weeks and we were together for almost 3 years, my best friend talks to my ex and at the last talk he said to her that he still loves me, misses me and that he is not sure If the break up was an good idea. In your relationship I was quite selfish you can say because of my insecurities that he doesn"t love me but than his family came to the picture and his dad blamed me for evertyhing in his life including that he has a tumor on his brain bc of me...we fought a lot with my ex for like 3 months nonstop bc of his family, school, covid and bc I was quite jealous but always solved everything but than the next day all over again. I still love him very much and I even figured how to solve our problems with my insecurities about his family and everything but before I could tell him everything he has broken up with me by letter bc he couldn't look me in the eyes bc he would never stick to the break up. Do you think I still have some chance? I really love him and I want to give him space and time to heel and the same for me and I just want him back in my life forever

I really like this New vídeo. I sent a clean slate message after 25 days no contact and he said he Will always love me. I didnt text back and went into no contact again.

Thank you, i needet this video! Feeling better :))

An ex won't work on the relationship because they aren't an adult and they don't know what commitment means they are playing games and if they break up with you and come back they will leave you alone again you become there yoyo and you will become unhappy and down if they love you they don't want to leave

you have a very good mind set!

I really don't know if we have broken up, if he loves me, if thinks about me at all. I don't want to confront him , he does speak to me but only when I initiate conversations... Just in a state of total confusion and chaos

What if you ex gets used to not having you around and it doesn’t bother them 🤦🏾‍♂️ and they block what they truly feel

Love your advice....

I don't think my ex will even try to come back home and be back with me again. Hes been through longer relationships and walked away, never trying to salvage them...only BIG difference is he left those because they cheated on him...i didn't cheat. He walked away because he lost his job, his truck broke down, and we were just not clicking anymore...he says its to work on himself.. but i know, im not all dumb. He lost his attraction to me and i I didn't see it...but, i also lost my attraction to him...so, he left. Im devastated and trying to keep my head up and continue building on this dream we were once working on together to have this house and land. ..its not easy maintaining everything alone, but i refuse to let go of this dream, even if i have to realise it alone. I just know how he is and i doubt he'll even try to come back or try to see if there is anything still between us,as far as attraction goes. Hes just not that into relationships as it is and even though we were together for 2 years, he's quick tp give up when something no longer serves him and knows by experience, how to move on , almost without a scratch

I went to a meeting for a club that we are both in today. I hadn’t been for several weeks and we hadn’t seen or contacted each other for 7 weeks. I went for myself to prove that I had the strength to go and she can’t keep from going. I never looked at her directly and I felt her glances a few times. I know it violates no contact in a way but I felt great afterwards. Not sure what to do next. More no contact? More meetings?

I really enjoy the knowledge you have of all the scenarios of the process of a breakup. Can you do a topic on after a breakup your ex is stalking your social media pages reading your stories

Why didn't he try to help save this relationship before it got this far a breakup

Best video yet. Thanks Master Lee. How do I schedule a call?

WHY BE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT YOU? JUST MOVE ON , BESIDES IF THEY WERE WITH SOMEONE ELSE AFTER LEAVING YOU IT'S NEVER THE SAME. JUST MY HUMBLE OPINION.

You are so right Lee. I think I made a mistake and text my wife to much

Unfortunately Coach lee, my ex is in a relationship already. But heres the thing he didn't even indicate anything bothering him or was wrong. When i saw him pull away it concerned me. So i asked him but he kept saying nothing. So if he pulled away then and was in another relationship while also in ours. I think he has moved on and I too will do the same. All i can say its my ex loss. Thank you for all your help in the process. God bless and keep up the great work.

Best coach

Hello Coach Lee, What if i start no Contact and after a day or so she starts to call and text aggressively. I’ve tried to start several times and it’s really hard not to answer after the waves of calls. It’s been about 3 to 4 weeks since she sprung the break up on me. Ever since it’s been hard and I know I definitely have made several mistakes since watching your videos. Is it still possible to get her back ? Thanks and hope to hear from you

I wish I had see your videos so Long ago. I'm at a hard point in life with so much stress built up after all the work I had to do over the months with no pay. On top of that, I lost my girlfriend of 3 years. I have no idea if I reinforced the break up too far or not and if she will even miss me anymore, but I do know that it at least can be a learning experience

What if she’s waiting on my call and is probably thinking well he’s not gonna call me so I don’t call?

Im giving up already on him.. its been a month now since the broke up. I tried to beg and plead to him.. and now i decided to back off, because he so stubborn so i know my chances is low to get him back.. and at the moment i tried to focus on myself..

24 hours NC .... 🤦🏻‍♀️ this sucks

Can't believe we had an 11 hour phone call after 5 months of nc. But now what?! We are still taking space, haven't talked since. Please make a video on what to do after the initial contact and what to say to them.

Coach, you always say this is not a new thing, but mine was head over heels in love, made a huge decision to move in with me, then grew cold after a week, by week 3 she was gone, I think maybe she was as confused as I was !!!!

You are sooooo clever ..another super video

We broke up 3 weeks ago. The problems were there for a month or two beforehand. Today is my birthday. I hoped to hear from her, but nothing. I’m gutted.

I'm 3 months into a very bad break up. We were together for 1.5 years and were extremely close. She lived with me and I saved her from an abusive situation she was in and she was the first person that I told about my abuse. I feel like there is no hope after seeing her on dating apps and hearing that she said she respects herself too much to get back with me.

Hi! What if you were in two relationships and one move on but you would love to get back that one ex.

Hi coach lee I like ur videos I have because brake up with my wife over a month an a half now i went in to no contact my wife reach out back telling me that she want to limit our contact to email an only talk about her kid my wife said that she is uncomfortable talking about the relationship so how long should wait to contact her about our relationship

No contact really is the only way like it or not I say enjoy it a little if you can and they WILL come back to you after scared>problems realization. If they don’t and cheat then they didn’t deserve you and I’m sorry but time will only heal either way just opt out of her life simply few weeks and work on self you will definitely be stronger...cry even if you need too! As much as possible to feel true feelings for them and accept you’ll change better in some way.

Yes, you are correct Coach Lee. I tried and waited for him to work on his anger, his screaming and yelling. He just wouldn't listen. I have been gone 3 months and no attempt to work on himself. I knew I couldn't change him. Now, he's still out of control but has a female that's been with everyone in his life now. I worry about him, but nothing I can do. I have started no contact for over 2 weeks now.

I have been seeing this girl I worked with and we acted like a couple when we were together. I now see that I gave her what she wanted without the commitment so now I said I don't wanna be friends I want a relationship and went no contact. Will see if it works..

she's done with me. I doubt she'll ever try to reconcile. It is a LDR (70 miles) and I already screwed up the past month by breaking NC, and now (dumped me 1/26, it's currently a month since the dumping), I think it's over with her. I did get a couple likes on new profile pics (several days apart) but that doesn't mean shit. The ship has sailed, sadly.

This year he went no contact with me for 4 months.. we started talking only after couple therapy sessions. Then again things went bad over a fight. I don't have any more strength to wait for him now.. I am tired of this cold behaviour. I am very hurt..I am not able to move on or focus on anything.. I also need to find a job. I don't know what to do..

The reason why my ex not working on the relationship is because he is back with is ex so I am just focusing on myself.

What if I told him I needed space to try and move on will he still contact me?? I haven't talked to him in 4 days and I'm worried that he will not contact me because of what I said???

My boyfriend broke up with me because he started developing feelings for someone else WHILE having feelings for me and he feels he was being unfair to me, and he got scared and anxious as to why he has those feelings. We have been together for 7 years. How do i attract him so he focuses on me and fights for me, so he realises what we have is magical and i am a strong woman who would never give up on us just because we are not in a good place. Feelings are not in our control and i am happy he came clean and didn't cheat. No need to be so scared, we can work it out but he does need to have the will and strength to work on us. So how do I fire that passion up in him for myself so he can look past his fears of hurting me and fight for me, for us? *he doesn't wish to act on his feelings for the other girl and he is scared of them, he wants it to go away but I think the constant worrying and obsessing over trying to get those feelings out of his mind is just feeding this demon and making him scared that he is being unfair to me*

Hi coach lee you are doing a good job my ex broke broke up with me 9 months ago we was in a 20 years relationship with him we was suppose to get married in April l dont know what to do l miss and love him so mich it hurts l been in no Contact will this work if my ex has a girlfriend will this work

My BF broke up when angry but he had plenty of space and time with me during our relationship. I immediately accepted his breakup calmly and left. I sent one quick text saying No hard feelings although I would miss him. 2nd - I extended an invite to him to go to a concert that we had planned months before (where I bought the tickets) but said it was up to him if he still wanted to go and let me know. Whether or not he goes, after the concert I will start dating others. It's a small town so hard not to see him around town.

I'm going through a second break up with same person. I made the same mistake. Cheated emotionally. I tied so much to communicate with her my issues but she wouldn't resolve or find a solution for our issues or work on them. Most times she was just home. She had no job but I provided everything and trying to pay all the bills. I needed help. We barely did anything together. I'm not making excuses. I was going through a stressful time and my communication could have been better. She found out. And she stayed trying to make it work for a month. Then she left and just grabbed all her stuff and her daughter stuff..... I didn't even get to see her leave. We argued few times and I did beg for a bit....its been 16 days since. I'm in the middle of moving on and waiting for her. I miss her and I do love her. But im tired of making mistakes

Some females are just difficult. All last week we were good!!! And now a week ago from today I’m blocked and I’m being told she doesn’t want this anymore and she wants me out of her life. I did the breaking up first but I realized that our situation wasn’t that serious and now I came back to make it work and it’s been difficult

After 32 days of NC she reached out...n yesterday we met since then silence from both sides Im confused what to do now should I make a move or wait for her message coach lee please help me out