Why Would A Woman Attract A 'Mother-Enmeshed Man'? 

Mother-Enmeshed Man - How To No Longer Be A Mother-Enmeshed Man - www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09P4R7SBN/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vamf_tkin_p1_i9

A man I dated wanted to marry me and move in with him and his mother and to help take care of her. I told him that was out of the question that I have been independent for years have my own home. Took me several years to realize he was mother enmeshed and still is. So glad I broke off this relationship.

Find a man whose mother has died.

I’ve been attracting mother emeshed men but I refuse to date them , I simply learned what to look out for. Even a father enmeshed man. I simply do not want people parents ruining my personal relationship anymore!!! The best filter is seeing if they are independent. They will live on their own. Men who live with their parents have psychological problems. I was interested in a young man recently and he gives all his money and time to his parents. I saw that he was enmeshed. It’s okay if you want live with your parents and provide for them and essentially prioritize them but just stay single no need to put a partner last and devalued them.

Come on. men who fall in love with their mothers should stay with their mothers, full stop. Give us all a break.

CPTSD!!!! We want interpersonal relationships but we are scared of them! I see it!

His Mother would walk into his bedroom without knocking ( yes...that happened!), call his Mom sexy...oh yes, the research...my life imploded. You nailed this.

I was in a on-off ‘friendzoned’ dynamic for 4 years. Through the pain I went through a journey of understanding of twin flames, soulmates, karmic partners etc. 3 days ago I let it go….I burnt my bridges and let him go with peace. I desire marriage with all its trimmings-emotional intimacy, trust, commitment, friendship and I will not back down. So I am now looking inwards and really really facing the tornado’s that spiral. Thank you for this re-assuring and compassionate video for all us women who have really loved mother enmeshed men.

It’s like you’re describing a woman who gives herself away in an “other” way, as if she self-abandons.

Self love ❤️ is always needed we always focus on the men & forget about ourselves to distract us from the real work the work that needs to be done within. 🪞

Congratulations for your videos! Your channel is amazing! 👏👏👏 After studying narcissistic abuse, I realized that I got involved with a MEM due to my narcissistic family upbringing. I was an extensión of my parents. In my teenage years I gained some female friends who I became very enmeshed with that I later realized were all covert and overt narcissists. So, when I met my MEM, I felt like a breath of fresh air. His family seemed so united and he seemed so nice and caring comparing to my fam and ex friends. Later I realized that he had a sick love towards his mother, she was sitting in his lap, layed with him in bed to talk and holded hands when outside. I felt stupid when I went for walks with them, as he was holding his mother and me and my father in law were just extended objects. This was sick, but I was too young, alone in a foreign country and with very little job opportunities due to my nationality and poverty.

My ex fiance's mother is grandiose malignant narcissist. I didn't know her, when I was in love with him. I smelled that he was very disconnected to his mother, they barely have communication even tho they live in the same house. She was always commanding, accusing, attacking everybody in the house. I thought it's just like a woman who loves authority especially with the husband like hers, very passive. At the end, my fiance left me because her mother didn't want me. She didn't want me for no real reason, just she realised she wouldn't control me with her lies, manipulation, dramas. All she was doing is extreme control over family members and all I can do to marry her son is to join the slave club. Unfortunately, my ex couldnt see it. Even tho he knew his mother is a problem all his life, he couldnt figure out her manipulation, playing victim while the making problems and playing dramas. He blamed me for being not believing her lies as heartless and left me. Thank God he did. But I wondered what made me attracted to this passive, easily manipulated person. I realised he changed when his mother started to control our relationship (it started since I met her by the way) he gradually became passive and barely there. He acted like he is just a postman acknowledge me what to do according to his mother. He disappeared in the relationship. I was having an affair his mother, he was just wondering if her mother destroys everything. So he back up. Me and his monster mother came face to face. I was doing thing to please her, I felt like I marry her son to please her. At the end, she ended up her sons relationship. I pray God he never fool any girl like me in the future. Because even before I met her, he was telling me he wants to live away his mother and protect me from her arrogance and choose me over her, if needed. At the end he couldn't keep his promises.

I feel that one answer to this question of why a woman might attract a mother enmeshed man is that many women are drawn to the role of mother in relation to the men they wish to commit to. Typically they grew up in families which modelled this relationship , and the role of the Matriarch who is Boss of the family is one which attracts them because it seems to make them feel invulnerable. And yet it often results in a woman starting out feeling secure but becoming increasingly dissatisfied with their partner, and disrespectful and critical. When such relationships fail, these women berate not just their husbands but all men , for being weak and inadequate.

In my case, it was his narcissistic, controlling grandmother he was enmeshed with, since his mother never raised him and was never in the picture except as an infant. His grandmother was cruel and constantly telling him what to do, she ran him with an iron fist. I felt sorry for him at first and tried so hard to get him to set boundaries with her. After a while I realized he was never ever going to change the dynamics of the relationship because he was scared of losing her and he'd rather have negative attention than none. His mother abandoned him and father died at 15 years old from drug abuse. Siblings were mostly dead or in jail. To me he seemed like the strong one who survived so much chaos and tragedy. Now I know he didn't exactly survive it. After our breakup in which he created a scenario where I would undoubtedly leave him from the betrayal, one that was extremely planned out and cruel, I understand that he is a covert narcissist sociopath. He cannot hold a relationship for very long because of his mental and emotional dysfunction, pathological liar, etc. How he fooled me for 8 long months is kind of stunning. Anyway, his grandmother is the person he runs to when he has burned another relationship to the ground. And yes. I come from narcissistic controlling father and step-mother. I finally got away from their guilt trips and control about 10 years ago. Now if they try to guilt me, which they mostly gave up on a while ago, I just laugh. This relationship has shown me how much abuse I am still willing to put up with in the name of being loved. Yet in all my previous relationships I was the one running away at the first sign of neglect or actually sometimes nothing. So for me to try and stick it out, this was new for me. But wasted on the wrong person clearly. Great video, thank you. I guess my leaving relationships was about me being emotionally unavailable. Which is basically another way of saying I was scared of being hurt, rejected, and disappointed yet again. Edit: And controlled! LOTS to journal. Getting your book soon, about becoming your True Self. 💖

You are so correct. 😫🥺 I needed this slap in my face. Sending you lots of blessings! Thank you for your video!

Thank You so much for making these video’s. You explain everything verry clearly and I relate. I feel understood by listening to you. There’s a message hanging by My mirror: ‘’When I feel triggered or hit, my awareness is with the other person and I am gone away from myself. So stay with MYSELF, and feel the peace and confidence within.’’ 🙏❤️ It helps me tremendously.😃

Thank you so much for touching on this topic...you're right. This is my own battle now. I need to look inside. This is the second time this happens. I have battled an eating disorder for years and was raised by parents who neglected my emotional needs. Emotionally absent. I was bullied in school because I was overweight. I need this time for myself, to grow...and actually do the work instead of attracting or being attracted to emotionally unavailable men.

The manifestation part is crazy real. I just got out of a relationship like that. A few weeks ago i came to an epiphany reading a few texts I had left from my blocked ex. And I swear to God it was my dad,who i resented all of my life, speaking through them. My dad came in my life on Christmas day when I was 6. I rejected every gift.Ex tried to make everything right on Christmas but I never opened the door n rejected his gifts n thats when I broke it off for good. I realized I manifested the same exact thing I experienced as a child. My father was also attached to his mom. I hated him I feel he never loved me and locked myself up and never opened my heart or bedroom door to him back then. Idk.. it was weird I cried and was finally able to forgive my dad now at 25 he died when I was 14.

🥺😩😩😩😩😩😩😩why are you so correct!? Ugh not everyone can self reflect or ready to hear this but sir you are very correct everything you said. Us focusing on them when lord knows the work needs to be done within. Thank you sooooo much!!!! 😁I needed this slap in my face.

Somehow every man I’ve ever been with is enmeshed. Covert stuff like Walking into his room in bra & panties to ask what he thinks.. I didn’t see any signs the first year or two. Then somehow his mother moves nearby. Not sure why I do this. Repeated the pattern multiple times

Ive been with my boyfriend 12 years off about 3 of those. I just discovered this concept 4 days ago. As you can imagine we are both the exact discription of each emeshed gender. I seperated myself early in life and found myself back at home later. A feel i have always been aware of the problems in my family grateful for my parents divorce and suportive friend groups. Although he was the sports star and his parents are stil married. I feel his mom was trying to kill me at one point. I still dont trust her in my presence. Its very stressful for me because he still teies to get me to open my life to her. I feel we love eachother deeply but there is a drug depenancy she supplies i know she uses the trigger of to insure his presence in her house. I showed him a video talking about this three days ago and at first he was pissed then after watching it i think he sees it but we havent had the opportunity to talk about it yet. Half of me feels a responsability to be available for him to heal these awful deep seeded emotional boundary wounds, AUWFUL. I have a fair amount of knowledge about how the brain works. The other half of me feels overwhelmed and powerless to breaking a cycle of narsassistic abuse. Especially times i feel i am physically in danger. I will be leaning on Jesus for guidance. I know as long as i stay confident in my faith (i dont go to churches) he will weather any storm for me. I actually look forward to be so blessed as to be a witness to his power. I opened ny bible the other day to a passage that said in so many words "the beauty in weakness is it is the moments you are closest to God". I would be gratful for any prayers if you have read this. Sending you ny love ❤️🙏

I was guided to your video right on time. Totally started another lesson for myself. I'm more of a mess than I knew. That's always great, but this came at perfect timing 🙂

Thank you, this was so good to hear. Thank you.

The picture of Thoth is beautiful and caught my eye immediately 🙏🏽

your insights are fabulous. thank you !!

Thank you for this message

Spot on Oliver. Thankyou

I appreciate this perspective.

Thank you. So clear 🙏

Good insight. How do I become emotionally available? I have ASD and I grew up in a narcissistic family structure. I love art. Will doing more art heal me?

this is mom and dad. dad covert narcissist Emotionally absent dismissive attachment style mom co dependant aggressively helpful guilt-tripping no boundries neither know themselves. so they raised 3 kids to die and suffer... cause we don't know ourselves.

But he is so in love with his mother

🔑 7:23

so it’s the woman’s fault. real deep stuff here

Great content. But damn it would be nice if you could talk more consistent. Those pauses and fast speaking makes it hard to listen too it all.