Dedicated to all the Black Sheeps of the family. Hope this helps. If you can't move away from your toxic family right now, check out this video on how to stay positive in a negative household: • Video
Black sheep/ scapegoat of the family: -Chosen to change the generational toxic cycle and HEAL lineage. Thinks differently from the family usually feels adopted and has astrology placements to be successful outside of homeland, meet soul family and twin flames outside of immediate family (if you follow astrology). -Questions everything. - Gifted, talented, has extreme empathy, artistic, intuitive, psychic, introverted, genius in some way, unique identity. Can be over achiever or under achiever never much the middle. Mostly valued and praised when doing things for the family like cooking and cleaning not for who they are as a person so can choose abusive partners too who love transactionally not unconditionally. - Usually isolated in your room for peace, always blamed for what is wrong in the family or bullied for the family ego as punching bag, never finishes sentences without being interrupted, can stutter when speaking, family always focused on what you did wrong, always criticised by family and bullied at school too. - Called too angry or too sensitive because you learn to suppress emotions or taking in the dysfunctional emotions of the family with your empathy, can have anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder. - Called disrespectful or stubborn and difficult, stands up for self/others and beliefs, called rebellious or rebels in many ways as not trusting authority. Loves unconditionally but taken for granted by many including family. - Called a liar for seeing the dysfunction in the family yet family imitates what they do despite being mocked by them, usually passionate about justice/those in need or just a reasonable person, usually non judgemental, compassionate and kind/pure hearted, highly sensitive and usually loves animals, nature, helping others, alone time or children. A loner who has major self doubt issues often feels crazy from being invalidated and even questions compliments from genuine people. - Usually ends up most successful in family if they self heal the inner child and learn to love themselves and realises that they are not here to be what their family wants them to be. Always remember you can’t change your family and they can’t break you just because they are broken it’s not your mess to clean. Dr Ramani : “How to think of a narcissistic parent” & “when your narcissistic family tells you this” Teal Swan- “Cut the invisible strings”
Me too : I thought these people are so toxic. This isn't how a family is supposed to be. A family shud be loving, not judgemental, kind and never shouting at each other but communicating politely.
I remember once being in the car with my family and I said something along the lines of "Why is our family so dysfunctional" to be instantly screamed at by mom. I was like 10 or 11💀
I always feel freedom when I'm alone but as soon as a family member comes around my happiness just walks away and the yelling commences, I have no where to go but hey at least I graduate in 2 years.
Britt Knee YES girl just look forward to that and keep going strong. Now you know that what you’re going through is not how a normal family looks like. So don’t take that to your future family be better than that.
Britt Knee wow I feel your pain. When that spirit of contention come into the room from them I feel like a confused worthless person. When my family is not around I feel free and energized! Cannot wait to get out of here! Find activities outside that house of evil girl!
SAME!! Im staying at my older sisters apartment bc my narc mom kicked me out for no reason (she was already upset and took it out on me..like always) but whenever my sister is around i feel uh...UNCOMFORTABLE!! And always have!! Shes a flying monkey and i dont feel good or energized whenever shes around like i am when she and my mother isnt...its Only those two!!!!
I feel this deeply. Probably one of my biggest anxiety trigger is hearing anyone come home after being home alone.. even now ( I'm moved out and in a very welcoming and loving environment now)
Exactly 💯..im touched because im a black sheep of "the" family....it easy to stay away from toxic family just remember all fucc up vibes u had with them. face expressions they have along with jealous
I am a black sheep. And I never understood why my family didn't like me. I always knew I was "different" but I never understood why someone who supposed to be your family would try to tear you down just for being you. Especially being a child. I always felt like I didn't belong or there was something wrong with me. But I'm learning to love and accept myself now and that it's ok to cut off toxic energy.
@@RAZASHARP thank you so much Raza. I was all positive, expressive and happy before then my mother came home from abroad. I thought we would connect but it didn't. I feel trapped, controlled and manipulated. I'm at my all time low and all I need is good words from good people like you.
shana sakai no worries your welcome.. just remember anytime you start doing good in life... families are the first ones that will start acting funny... and that’s only if you’re doing good...I DIDNT SAY GREAT or RICHhhh🖤❤️
Lawd gawd I got told that bs too... Parents were spying on me so I told them to stuff it and then stopped them spying on me They're cowards so I put them in their place
It’s absolutely disgusting, the fact they turn others/ family against you because they feel some type of way about you. I found that healing prevents you from becoming a narcissist yourself, so please heal❤ break those generational curses and live freely. You can’t heal in a toxic environment, leaving is the first step.
"you are black sheep if you are spiritual, creative, empath" hits hard, i always have felt different from my silbings and parents since i was 14, and always have been misunderstood. I feel truly happy and a lot of freedom when im home alone but when they come around, the energy is gone. thank you for reading, have lovely day!! XO
Well said though kind of retrospectively . The presenter seems more reflective upon the distress she underwent. I liked the Scapegoat and Black Sheep portion of video. She sounds brilliant but, sadly, her expression lacks balance. Siblings may turn jealous but, parents? Nay. Parents too may but the way the presenter thinks. If a grown-up son, for instance, who despises parents simply because they do not buy him things he wants , or just for reason of denying him the permission to hang out with his la-di-da friends, thinks that he is segregated and treated as a Black Sheep, will he still be right ? This video definitely is good but, frankly speaking, the presenter ought to come up with more balanced view in such a way as can boost wisdom. Knowledge maintains life but wisdom improves it for better and the best.
On the same token, the family has the wherewithal to obstruct God's plan in the black sheep's life... It's commonly done through words, the family speak disaster for them into existence. Moralistic narcissists as parents will tell the black sheep that the black sheep's light is an evil nature within and no character is better than any.
Absolutely correct! Once I realized that something was wrong with my Mother.....I was shocked by what I witnessed happening. I went within deep.....and I made for absolute sure that I got out as soon as I turned 18. My mother never showed me love. I realized that I was on my own by the time I was 12 yrs old. I became an overachiever to try to please her....it never worked but I damn sho came up because of it. I made 💰💰💰 and got the hell outta there. I am so strong in my will, my spirituality and my desire to help and love others. I just love me some ME!
You may be the Joseph of your family. Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers and struck in a trap for 10 years, despite his gifts and goodness. *He returned a king.*
It's so weird to feel like you were resented since the day you were born. To feel like people older than you are competing to keep up with you. They mistreat you for the same things they brag to other people about what you can do. When I was a kid I was running away constantly and when I got in trouble for trying to escape it was reinforced how irresponsible I was and how I will always need them. I def suffered from the infantilizing, even as a 24-year-old. It's just surreal to realize the extent of the abuse that they will say never happened. I'm still waking up to who I am and what I am capable of.
I feel like I’ve graduated from Kindergarten to Elementary school. I’m mentally where people with supportive parents would be at by that point, but parenting myself. I’m financing my own hobbies, and learning how to make friends n date without my parents involvement (which has been a total fail and I was in a psych ward for 9 days w/ PTSD after I almost got SEX TRAFFICKED but I’m still trying to get it right) and right now I’m learning from these trials and pursing my master in MFT and working on publishing my books. Life is good. I’m setting boundaries more confidently now that I’m out of the hospital n working again! ❤
@@teenyweeny3005 me too they always have to point out how tall I am and say stuff like "you're so weird you don't look like us maybe they switched you at birth or something" all that just because I'm tall and they always bully me and make me do all the house work and while they get to go out with there friends I always have to stay home scrolling through instagram wishing I could look better or have a better life.🙏
Me too! I try to fit in with them cuz I abandonment issues but I can’t do it anymore. I just want to heal and have peace & joy. Sending you love & light! 💕❤️
Same, I get told I have the worst attitude, I'm a B, I am so self-centered, I'm always negative, when really I'm the only one who gets so many opportunities. I get to go to Disney bc my Chorus program paid for me too (the only one out of 236 kids). I got a interview at the Bored of Education for a Scholarship at age 13. No joke. I have soo many GOOD friends! I am the only child my teachers take to restaurants to share presents and hang out with. I am so blessed with the love of God! So idc how many times I get called a failure, unworthy, all those things up there, I know I'm worth it😊💖
Exactly. And because I spoke the truth in my family, my sister banned me from her house. They hate us because our presence exposes their unresolved insecurities. I wish her well nonetheless.
Maybe your positivity is what makes you different from your family and that's what bothers them? I know my family is very negative and I'm far too positive for their taste. That's one of the reasons I think I'm the black sheep/scapegoat. Maybe you too?
@@MsThe90 Being a black sheep is very much about imprisonment, containment and confinement. Enable yourself freedom, switch from emotionally responsive to analytical to empower yourself. knowledge is power!!!!
I cut my family off 3 years ago after they kicked me out and left me homeless because I refused to put up with their favoritism, double standards and hypocrisy in the house. Everything you said resonated with me. The most screwed up part is that they still expect me to give a shit about them after they kicked me out and left me in the streets. Yeah, I will take this to the grave. My dad was an alcoholic and mom remarried another jag bag like him and I was not having his shit. I'm so much happier without them.
Sweetheart, i know the 'I will take this to the grave' feeling. But i hope it becomes just a detail in your life, a foot note. Rear view mirror her and them all. Go on and be the best you can cos you sound tough! And tough is what it takes to make it. Be happy! She will hate that! LOL
Going through it right now in the dead of winter. My family has left me homeless as well. It's been three weeks now and have already attracted two narcissist. I'm a magnet for them. The good news is they both kinda came and went fastly so maybe am able to recognize them faster now. It's a scary journey still hoping to attract positive loving people. It's so easy to stick with what feels familiar than go out on a new branch. A vicious cycle if you will. If you go homeless or anything else in your life expect to have more wicky wacky show up. Take it day by day for a while.
I feel for you. Went through same thing fininally snapped and punched my dad in face chased me out the house shooting called police to have me hunted down then had whole family sign long standing protection orders against me left me homeless some people just need rot in hell and will never change watching stuff like this to heal my mind start over at the bottom
what hurts even worse is when you see your mother doing for others, that she never did for you. like my mom wants to go into psychology, but she caused trauma on her own kids. its also crazy how she see other peoples problems as so bad but don't realize that she does the same.
She knows how her actions affect others, if she wouldn't she wouldn't be so nice to others and so horrible to her own kids. Chances your mom is a narc like mine. Cut her off from your life, you'll feel better ✌🏼
It is not uncommon that narcissists train to become psychologists, because that would give them power over people and teach them cunning ways to abuse people, which somehow makes them feel good about themselves. An important thing to remember when choosing a therapist. 😉
my mom wanted $300 a month for me to sleep on her couch, but she has let her brother sleep in her spare room for FREE for 5 years. I've always been at the bottom of the pile in my Family.
I was the black sheep empath in a narcissistic religious family telling me I'm a wicked boy & I'm possessed & I will end up in prison, it started when I learned to speak & spoke the truth, I was fed bread & jam every day & then called a thief for taking food, the religious abuse caused me to leave home at 15, throughout my career I have been scapegoated & bullied at work, again for telling the truth about people's performance, all my exes were narcissists telling me there's something wrong with me while they were gaslighting, ghosting, benching, triangulating, blame-shifting me, it took me 50 years to have my eyes opened & learn the truth about narcissistic abuse in the family & how we can be better off without them, I have 4 families & they all have varying degrees of narcissism, finally I have boundaries & I know the red flags & I can protect myself
A black sheep myself, I turned my back on my toxic family 7 years ago and I am so much happier and healthier for it. Thank you for this informative video, you know your shit girl, keep preachin' :)
I literally cut contact with my abusive family today. I got tired of being blamed for everything and being abused. Can't wait to get better and achieve my true potential
Omg, I've never been directly told that, but I just always sense that when I dress up nice and shower and look good, my mom's jealousy is steaming in a pot
I left my family many years ago to go on a spiritual journey for myself, I don’t regret it. I’m much older now, and I find myself revisiting talks like yours to deal with family issues. I will say this to the people who are just beginning- you WILL NEVER truly UNDERSTAND why your family truly does the things they do, the only person you need to focus on is you, make sure you are spiritually aligned so you can understand how to react to them for your protection. If you have to be around them, practice observance and silence and being polite AND knowing when to walk away and when you do...do it with grace. Leave a better impact on them than they left on you. Know that you are in a better space now that they could never comprehend unless they choose to change...and know too that you can’t have anything to do with them changing, because you don’t know if they will truly change. Focus on you and you ONLY!
excellent advise. specially with all this new age awareness, trust me, i went into the rabbit hole of all kinds of therapies, modalities, programs.. family systems etc until i snapped out of it and although a lot was key to my understanding and healing process a lot was also confusing, retraumatizing and reinforcing the wound by keeping me stuck from moving on. One day I got to to mee the greatest of my therapist and he said.. you feel that you haven't done enough? or what is it you keep looking for? we did somatic work and what came up is i was still in the fff mode and therapy became my comfort zone of victimhood. I was scared to really live. He was shocked how many years I've been in 'healing' mode and that nobody had told me you heal by creating new experiences not by dwelling in what damaged you. He said you go out and fix this in the present day by day, not in the past anymore and I dont wanna see you back for another session 😂 thats when my spiritual connection started :) to breath, emotion, nature, myself, kind people and the creator ❤
I was the black sheep in my family. I got blamed for EVERYTHING. I am now 54 and I have finally moved hundreds of miles away from my 2 older sisters who are both bitter, twisted and full of evil. I am done with them.
Sorry Katie! I can relate at 43 with you. I didn't realize until last night when my mom said something so horrible to me that I can get over a lifetimeof her abuse. However, this issue out of her mouth made me DONE. I can do this alone.
56 and cant give them anymore chances...a family of child abusers, violent men including an attempted murderer but I am the bad one...time for me to go now and heal and use my creativity for the good of all and for myself x x
lorraine smith I don’t blame you! I’m about to move away as well! I wish I could move to Alaska ‘ but it’s to cold there 🥶lol’ but very soon! I’ll move thousands of miles away from my mother’ brothers’ even my own daughters! It’s sad but god allowed me to be my own person by being me and finally standing up for myself Many blessings to you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
lorraine smith my situation is same as yours, it took me 52 years to realise that it’s not how your sisters are supposed to treat you. I don’t need to put up with it just because they are my family. I used to come away from them feeling like a piece of garbage.
I did the same thing my sister they are so evil After me and my husband we bought a house all my family turned against me that’s how I know I’m the black sheep in the family I stay far far away from them l pray Night and day that the Almighty God will expose them to the world for the evilness
very true my mother is very evil every time i have something good happen in my life she starts an argument to drain my energy to take away from my blessings
Same here girl definitely. I dont understand why mothers and( fathers too, depending on who he is) are like that towards their daughters. 🤷🏽♀And don't realize that girl Is gonna be the one to help extended the family tree even she gets marries. she will continue the mother and father side of family and her own with her future husband( that's how family tree keeps growing). Smh I feel you on that one🙏🏽🙏🏽
I was definitely programmed to depend on family, then they suddenly flipped the script when I turned 18 and expected me to know how to be a full adult. It was either go to school or get a job. I didn't get the proper guidance that I needed and had to learn damn near everything the hard way. I don't fit with Mom or Dad side of the family. One side was completely dysfunctional and the other only associate with the uppity. I washed my hands of everyone and have to give myself the love I've been severely deprived of in life.
Yeah that's what ive been told all my life. Im mean and I dont care about anyone else. Yet I pray for my family every night that God protects them and I bet no1 prays for me.
I was getting ready to commit suicide and started my goodbyes and put on the do not disturb feature on my phone and I came across this video. And this made me feel and know im not crazy. Especially the narcissistic videos too. Im gonna try to stick it out. And I wanna write a book but was afraid to because it would make it worse with my mother and sister but now im positive i wanna do it. Thank you. You saved my life tonight!!!
So glad you didn't do it!!! I know what it feels like to want to end your life. It's better to cut them off and go live your truth and be happy. No one is EVER worth us taking our life 👌😉
The fact you turned to you tube to see if you could find a sane voice to help you in your distress shows you really wanted to live and not end your life. I believe God's Holy Spirit led you to this amazing message, you should embrace your life God gave you embrace all your creative gifts n talents He blessed you with. Be yourself not some one else's twisted version.
My whole family always wants me to live according to their standard and it makes me so uncomfortable! I'll buy my own house and live far away from them! I can't live in a family always find something to judge and criticize me😑😑
My sister would call me UGLY and say “I’m better than you “ and would hit me for no reason but would cry about how mean everybody is to her I felt bad for and apologizing for what she claimed I did even when she didn’t give me the same back . I would tell her how pretty she was and that I love her and she would say something like your ugly. I just can’t rap my head around it ☹️😕
When you start investing into yourself and heal first they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they attack you, and this is when you know that you are winning. Cheers !
"You should remember that they had problems way before you were born" That reminds me of my toxic elder sister; the fact that she always made sure to make me feel responsible for all the problems and arguments that ever happened in my family.
Yep, me too..Once i cut my toxic sister off, My family said im so horrible and that im the bad one, even when i wanted to cut it off, for everyones peace...You can never please family
I’m 41 years old and still experiencing this. Just visited family last night and I left with terrible anxiety and overthinking. Analyzing myself and judging myself. It really is unfortunate. I could tell that they talk about me when I’m not around. I cried continuously and am still trying to bounce back and get back to me. I don’t go around them often. I’m currently in college and doing well for myself. I didn’t hear not one positive comment from them and when I did it was not genuine.
I needed to hear this. I've always felt ignored, unloved and the blame of certain situations. No one would ever speak up for me, no one would ask if I'm ok. For years I've watched my family care for others the way i want to be cared for. Those who did care for me have died including my father.
Wow. My situation is exactly the same as your's. I've been no contact for 4 years now with my "anti-family". I had good, loving paternal grandparents but they died years ago and my dad, who was an enabler to my narc mother, died in 2015. He did love me when I was a little girl but my evil narc mother turned him against me later on.
Me too. Sometimes they would be ok if we were one on one or admit what another did wrong but any time it was 2 or more of them together, they treated me like shit!!! All my life I felt like I was in a sorority that didn't want me including my mom. I have 4 sisters and 2 half sisters
Same..and then when they ask you something you can't even relate to and your like umm I don't really do that listen to that feelthat..then your mad corny😣 I'm just listening to a video like this because I'm wondering why I'm such an outcast..now I see..
I have been listening to this repeatedly for a while, whenever I was being picked by my family. I live with my family still, and I’m an Asian. There’s no such “black sheep” concept in Asian culture. In Asian culture you have to love your family, no matter how they treated you. There’s no way I can find such content on the internet using Chinese, or just a few information talking about “family problems”. Black sheep is a new concept to me, and I was relieved when I first heard about it since I know I’m not the only one and it’s not my problem. I tried to kill myself when I was 8, trying to drink the poison in the bathroom, but I stopped at last, a voice in my head told me not to. My family never physically abused me, but I was being picked on almost everyday, and I had to cry in the bathroom secretly everyday. I’m 31 years old now, I think it will be extremely hard to get rid of my family, but I’m planning to get married soon and have my own apartment so I can get rid of them.
First off, you're stunning. Those cheekbones and the overall structure of your face, is totally gorgeous. This video hit So Many points for me. I have always been the black sheep, and a lot of harm was done to me emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and even physically. So many people in my family would literally have gab sessions where they gossiped about me over the phone, in person, and overhearing it all, that really did a number on my self esteem. It hurt the most, in particular, when my mom, grandmother, and aunt would talk bad about me. It just completely shattered my self confidence, and a lot of the self hatred issues still linger within me, because of that, in addition to other things. I am ultra sensitive, artsy, and yes, very spiritual. So many things you said clicked with me!! I am still working with God to completely forgive them, but have my moments when I feel deep sadness about how it all went. Thank you so much for making this video as it made me feel less alone, and reassured me I am not overreacting, nor crazy, nor imagining all that went down in my life. God bless you!
I'm sorry you are going that and but I feel you because I took to go through that as well with my family and with others outside of my family. but I hope everything gets better for you💖🕊
I needed to watch this because what I’m going through is crazy . I was sexually abused by my own father and everyone makes it seem like it’s my fault , everyone wants to make it seem that he’s a “ good “ man but I see through him and everyone else. Everyone is so fake towards each other , I don’t even go to no family reunions anymore lol I stay by myself sadly
Gosh I feel so bad for you but I know that you are immensely strong and you are still fighting today even tho such things happend to you. It happened to me too but in my case it was the man who my mother dates (yes she's a single parent) and she blamed me for not talking to him at all anymore. This things makes me crazy I sometimes can't believe that this is the kind of the world I'm living in.
Same deal.empath of family,always been spiritual and deep.. they are envious of us because we have souls ..I was told by being around us makes them feel guilty because we are truthful and like kids honest and they can't be this way
I feel like an alien that was implanted into my mother’s womb. I’ve never been close to anyone in my family. My parents and siblings bullied me, picked on me, belittled me, and abused me. I don’t know my extended family. It feels weird to be alive 18 years without connection.
@@shakurwonders5216 I think the fact that I’m brave enough to be vulnerable and speak my truth, shows that I do in fact love myself. Thanks for the definitely useful feedback tho! 😘
@@angieangiel2666 I’m sorry. It’s a really shitty thing to experience when the people who are supposed to be closest to you betray and traumatize you like that.
My family tries to make me feel small and dependent. This is the reason why I have so many problems relating I can't stop seeing this in people in general...
Isolation saved me from going insane...Sad at times...But, the isolation kept me...All the searching, and nurturing..All ended up the same way as my family..i just stop..walking alone on earth. Is a curse and a blessing
I Don't care about moving away.I Can be 1 door down the street and ignore the heck outa my family. I told them i don't fcks with their low vibrational energies and that they are cut out of my life.
Your right. I’ve been treated like trash 🗑... however ‘ I cut all of them off and I’m focusing on my own healing! All my family members are BLOCKED and I’m about to change my number...also! Praying to move thousands of miles away for the sake of keeping my own sanity 🙇🏿♀️🙇🏿♀️🙇🏿♀️🙇🏿♀️🙇🏿♀️🙇🏿♀️
Being a scapegoat is terrible. As a young child I started believing I was no good. My school grades were only average. I left home early and felt the world lift off my shoulders. I then worked part time and went to uni. All of a sudden I felt I was not that stupid and did well at uni. Got a great job and made a great future. However it took time for me to believe in myself. I no longer blame myself and I saw something in my father who I never wanted to be. The sad truth is, the hurt remains, but I know this made me stronger. As the old saying goes. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger 😊.
Smartest move I ever made was cutting my family off. I remember being 7 years old, (I'm 63 now), standing just off a dinner table surrounded by "family." They were all back biting and sneering about things in general. I said to myself, "I don't want to be like these people." I escaped the stress of it by reading voraciously, which equated to positive contrast. I remember my dad looking at me and my books suspiciously through time. I also remember him and my mother destroying my confidence at ever turn by belittling my meager successes. We know why...
You should be a writer. I read this 4 times like it was a book. I was waiting on the next page, but it ended at, “we know why...” 😂 Please start writing books.
Oh my goodness, The dreaded dinner table. Nightly watched my mother berate my father. I was the baby of the family, and I would just look around the table and think is no one going to say anything? My golden child older sister sat at the place where Mom should have sat. Mom acted like hired help. What a mess. What a mess my marriage was. Married a man just like my mother and he made the second son the golden child. 60 years old, away from them all, and finally peace.
Thank you so much for this video. I moved out at 18 years old because my family judged me for dropping out of college (temporarily at the time) to pursue me dreams of becoming an entrepreneur. I grew up in a hectic home, constantly going in and out of court for family issues, got abused, was diagnosed with ptsd, but now I’m up on my feet again at 19 and working 3 jobs right now. The plan is to invest into real estate and eventually sell real estate as well. I miss my little brother that’s 7 years old so much but it wasn’t healthy being at home. One day I will be an inspiration to others, especially the youth. God bless 🙏
So I recently just moved out of my home. Always known I was the black sheep and I just had enough and moved out, it’s sad because I’m actually family oriented and I’m the one who is the most creative and wants to become an entrepreneur and they do not understand that and make fun of the concept of entrepreneurship.... it’s sad because I love my family so much and wish I could live with them still but I can’t keep myself around that environment ...
They are not worth keeping around Maryam. It is best to cut off negative people and fake family members. God loves you, he understands what is going on.
yes I was made fun of for wanting to be an entrepreneur. I was called delusional for wanting to set a goal to be a millionaire. I was stopped but I persisted. They are scared you will succeed. Ultimately, if you stay with them you will be left bitter and unhappy.
I did the same thing two months ago because no one understood me and it is hard cause you wish your own blood could just be proud of your potential but sadly i couldn't take it so i moved out too.
Spot on 👌🏾! I am the black sheep, and empath, an artist/painter. The pain of not feeling like you have a place in your family cuts deep. I’ve just accepted the fact that I HAVE to limit my time around them. It does more harm than good. There are so many other points you mentioned that are true for me as well. Thank you for this video. I truly felt understood.
This video spoke to me as I am the black sheep in my family & I was abused & scapegoated. I also got bullied in school & even abused in adulthood. I've also had dozens of people throughout my life just invalidate my emotions & experiences. I have depression & PTSD because of years of trauma. Thank you for this video.
It’s hard being the black sheep and still caring about your parents and family. It’s so hard not to want acceptance from them especially because I see my friends interactions with their family.
I think the only solution is to stop caring. Caring about abusers is a recipe for being abused. They placed you in a role, that will never change, so no matter what you do, they will always treat you that way. I consciously decided not to care about my mother and one of my sisters a few years ago, and that gave me room to heal. That room can not exist if your abusers occupy any bit part of it.
I was the only soldier in my graduating company, not just platoon, out of my entire company I was the only one who's family didn't bother to come to watch graduate basic combat training. That was the first time I started to realize that I was the black sheep. My family is full of alcoholic narcissists. Thank you for this video.
Thank you! It's been 7 months since I decided to cut off my family and I have never felt so free. At first I felt so guilty but now I have no regret I made the best decision for me 😊
Thank you so much for this video. I was not expecting to cry but so much of what you said really hit home for me. It literally took me til the age of 39 to realize that my family is dysfunctional. I mean I knew something wasn't right but WOW!!! This is all still very painful because I am seeing that majority of the relationships I have been in (including romantic) have been toxic.
yes I am 3 years post leaving my family. while they live on the east coast...I live on the west... at first it was scary but I actually had nothing to lose. I have healed alot...still have work to do though.
I feel guilty. haven't told my teenage children, thats what makes it difficult but I really need a break from the smothering of bad vibes, negativity, sarcasm, condescending remarks and never a celebration of life.
That point you said about being so gifted, creative, and smart is so on point. I being the black sheep of my family and the first born of my family, I was hated by my very own blood family. They made me believe I was worthless because of my uniqueness. I was told that i will never make it in life but by God's grace here I am separated from them, getting myself together, healing inner child wounds and reclaiming my lost potential. To all people who feel like you are black sheep of your families never downgrade your genuine potential just because your family never supported you. If they can't love you just trust that one day you'll break free from them and fly away just keep believing no matter what happens. Much love to all the black sheep of their families you are destined to break generattoinal curses
Same for me, it was my father. The fact my mom died when I was 14 was not enough, I would beg him to come to his senses because he was my only parent left. I had to go NC although Im afraid it was too late to save my future.
This was so helpful to me. I am the black sheep, my whole life. My mother, father, brother, sister always feel they can put me down, etc. I am the only one able to leave the family at age 18 because of severe abuse. I had a nervous breakdown at age 22. I had therapy from age 22 to 45. I am an awesome person, very creative, very successful. My brother and sister never received therapy because they think they are okay. Neither one has been able to keep a job their whole life. I am the only one who now at age 70 have a great retirement from a job that had a pension. They have floundered all their life. I cut ties recently with the brother and sister due to their yelling at me and questioning my opinions. So now I consider myself an "only person" without family members. They only want me around to yell at me and treat me bad so they don't have to face their own problems. Thank you so much for this wonderful information.
Definitely a good motivational video because of the holiday season coming up; My advice to everyone who has let their bad family go is to not even have a phone call with your evil relatives; Celebrate your Thanksgiving and Christmas in your own way and avoid that phone because your evil relatives will send evil spiritual energy through that phone
Outcast here ✋lol... I can totally identify with you. My family including my mom seems like they hate/ envy me so much. No matter what I've accomplished they try to tear me down, but I'm the one they call when they fall short. However, when it's my turn I have nobody but God and my kids. I've been on my spiritual journey since 2006, moved to another state away from my family. God is good!
I’m here because it’s almost time for me to make my exit, the toxicity between me and my siblings and cousins is so cold and twisted I don’t even feel like family anymore it’s just so sad..we are definitely not the family I thought we were as kids.
You are young and have an old spirit,,,but on POINT!!! Your beautiful inside and out! THEY knew that when you were young! They see it in you! I see that you LOVE yourself! No one can love you better than you!
This comment section is amazing!! I love the amount of support I see here and seeing how everyone can relate, is another great feeling. We’ve all been the black sheep of our family but we will overcome🙏🏻💪🏻💪🏻 peace to everybody🕊
Me too it's like certain people can do everything else except for kill the devil, or set the world on fire ,but let me just do something stupid once or twice or just I don't know relatively be human🤔🤔 and they're ready boot me off the face of the Earth 😂😂😂
You are so glad your sister is there. My whole family turned against me but just about a year before my brother passed away he admitted that he has been lied to about me by my mom. Imagine,I moved thousands of miles away from them and after I paid them a visit( thousand of dollars for trip alone). After I returned home I always received a hate letter from him telling me that " You came to visit your mom just to irritate her". I called my mom and asked if she wanted to read these letters ,she said" no". She lies about me constantly.
You are amazing! I like how you give us advise on how to heal..One thing you left out.. The scapegoat/black sheep are the only honest ones in the family and they never want to face the truth..A simple innocent question can trigger a narc..It forces them to be honest (they hate that) or questions their authority..I only wish it didn’t take 40 years to figure out it’s not me, it’s them..You’re right that the fact they’ve never acknowledged anything you’ve done great and instead beat you down more..This use to really enrage me..The smear campaign to discredit you is really maddening too.. The lies they tell everyone you know to undermine you at every turn..It’s all upsetting..Once you come to grips with the fact, Narcs CAN NOT FEEL LOVE OR EMPATHY, if they show it, it’s an act, it’s much easier to let their shit roll off your back!! Stay cool my black sheep brothers and sisters!! Love ya!👍🏻😎🇺🇸
9:11 I recently searching upon a RU-vid video discussing the algorithm behind content recommendations, 😅 but your channel called to me. The wisdom shared resonated with me. Reflecting on my past, I wonder if I was the “black sheep” among those I once valued. At times, I sought refuge at the YMCA, escaping a challenging home environment with a single mother and two brothers. Now, at 34, I recognize the importance of setting boundaries...even with family. Sometimes, blood isn’t thicker than water. I appreciate you and your time making this video. 🌟
