Marriage is mutually abusive by its very nature. The only reason to get married would be financial benefits like insurance and tax breaks for joint filing. Giving anyone power over your finances and personal time is a recipe for disaster. Long term cohabitation is better, if barely better. I like having my activity partner, and we do well together. No one will tell me how to hang a shirt "the right way again." The very best marriage is an intrusion on personal space, free time and your individual way of life and thinking. I'm absolutely not hating on women, as this is likely more true for them than it is men. For now I'm in a happy relationship and we have our separate finances and residences. We might move in together after the kids are raised - 3 more years.