Woman HOPES her Husband gets into Car Accident 

I do not agree with you on the second story because I read this story before and op add very important edits that where not read. Which are 1. The dad paid 100% for both op siblings colleges and 0% of ops 2. The dad also paid cash in full for ops sister house which was over $300,000 3. He has told his family they could come visit him and he would be happy to host them but they refused. So with that context I would go more crab apple than bad apple.

Story 1: Good apple. Why did she not save up money from her paychecks for a car and get driving lessons on weekends? Story 2: Crab apple: dad is trying to manipulate OP into moving where she doesn't want to be. Saving money by canceling everything extra, understandable. That money wasn't free lol. I have parents that will say and hold things over my head if I want do something for them.

Story #4: I feel like this is a situation where she hasnt really done anything. If she had told the husband that she wanted him to get into an accident, that would definitely be cause for bad apple. But if not, I think its a case of inside thoughts vs thoughts you share. Like yure not a bad person for having the thought, because actions are what matter. But also like yeah just dont share that with people and you're fine

For story two, I think that the OP is a crab apple. Yes, it’s super entitled to say “you gave me free money and it’s not in the amount I wanted” but choosing not to travel and save money for the house you want it just a part of life and their decision to make. However, if they aren’t actively saying that they refuse to even try to see their dad and other family because they didn’t get the money they wanted, then I’d definitely say bad apple. Especially if they feel they were actually screwed over by having a lower amount then anticipated. Because regardless of the amount, it’s still free money that should be going toward a down payment that they don’t have to save.

Story 2: I completely disagree . He gave them the money in hoping they will move and live where he wants. OP wants to save up and be financially responsible. Dad is a HUGE a**hole for whining and blaming him that he can’t financially come to family gatherings, he doesn’t get to do that.

Story 4: Wanting your husband to get in an accident is a major red flag even after hearing the story..like wishing negativity on someone in that way is not okay. I get really sensitive on this topic as my dad died in a car accident so I strongly agree with you, that's a bad apple.

for story 2 my question is if the person would've come to visit if the dad didn't offer the money in the first place? Cuz if the person wasnt going to visit until they saved up enough money for a house then i think it was justified to not visit. HOWEVER if they WERE going to visit without the money but plans changed because the dad didnt give enough money then bad apple.

For story number 2...I live 800 miles from my mom. My mom offered my husband and I a huge chunk of money to put towards a down payment. It's not enough to cover it, but it's a great help and puts us years closer to the goal. I'm still going on a Disney cruise with mom this Christmas and I've already confirmed plans to fly home to visit her for her birthday next year. Free money puts you closer to the goal, it's not a demand that you can't spend anything else until you hit the goal. Their dad giving them less money than they wanted doesn't mean they can't do anything else until that money is used for the intended purchase.

Story number 4 is definitely a bad apple!! She sounds insane...lol... she needs to be careful what she talks up... she just might get what she wants...smh

Story 4: I’m actually the opposite, I go crab apple for OP and bad apple for the husband. If he is as grumpy about his child’s safety later in life, I am scared for that child

Last story I would pick crab apple but mostly bad apple but a little bit of good

story 1: good apple story 2: crab apple story 3: good apple story 4: bad apple

Story 1: OP Nope, drop the choosing beggar!!😊

Story 4: I think you are overthink accident. A small fender bender we you get a small scratch on the bumper is not putting him in danger or wishing harm to him or wanting something bad to happen. Like it's not like she said I want to see him get t boned on the drivers door.

Story #4. Honestly I'm going crab apple but I'm kinda leaning good apple. She sounds like she is beyond passed fed up with the cockiness he's presenting. I imagine what she is saying she wants is for him to get in a tiny fender bender I've had those where I'm already stopped at a light and the person behind me didn't quite stop fast enough. Barely even left a scratch and at worst made me 15 min late to my next destination. The fact that the only thing keeping him from putting her front facing is the fact that he's worried shed cut off the family jewels or unalive him if he did speaks volumes. Especially when there is so much research that shows weight should be the deciding factor not age when switching. It sounds like he has a god complex behind the wheel and I feel like it's normal for her to want him to be knocked down a peg or two. Although if she said that out loud to him I'd go bad apple for sure. Just having the thought I'd say crab apple and the reasoning for her having the thought is why I lean more towards good apple.

My husband died in an accident he was driving a truck and got hit by a semi and dies neither on of them was going very fast absolutely bad apple

Story #2. I would have given a different answer, just because I think we read op's intent differently. Story #3. Idk what im sensing from this girl, anxiety or something on the spectrum or what, but my goodness girl please just try to relax. All is well.

rebecca can you revisit public speaking class :(

2# crab her attitude needs a lot of work, however, daddy dearest needed to communicate that it was for somewhere near him. As much as they are entitled, daddy is being manipulative with his failed attempt to lure her Back home

Story #4 - It's kind of hard to answer the question "Am I the Bad Apple" because OP didn't actually do anything; she's just imagining a hypothetical situation that hasn't happened just so she could be proven right. And most people have selfish daydreams that they never admit to. This is yet another example of a conflict that could be easily resolved with just better communication. If OP and her husband actually spoke and listened to each other like adults, they could figure this out.

Story 4. It sounds like he needs a dose of humility. But desiring for him to get into an accident is not the way

Story #2 - I don't agree that they were being spiteful. OP said in the story they had to scrimp & save and cut a lot of things, INCLUDING travel. It wasn't solely because they didn't get the money amount they wanted, it was a logical next step.

Story #1 - OP's friend is more than just entitled; it sounds like she is also manipulative and wants to take advantage of OP's partner being a people pleaser. Also, if she can't drive, she shouldn't have chosen to live in a town/city with no public transportation.

Story four makes me think more: “I wish he understood my frustration” and “I wish he stopped acting like this was as big of a deal.” I honestly believe many people have embarrassing moments where they wish something would happen to someone so they’d understand how upsetting it is. I, for example, missed my opening night in my last high school theatre performance because I got sick and had one person say, “Be glad you’re performing at all.” Another person said it wasn’t the end of the world when it was the end of the world to me, and they were both athletes who did theatre, and for a little while, I imagined and wished they’d miss their senior night games. I know they’d be devastated, and I’d never actually want them to go through that, but I wanted them to see so they would understand

Story #4: I'm going with crabapple, because what she wants is not specifically for him to get hurt, if you listen to what she actually said. What she wants is for him to get a wake up call so he'll stop nagging at her.

Yay! Time to go applepicking!!❤ Story 1: Not the bad apple, the friend needs to be responsible for her own life. It is time to get a new job!

Story #4 it's not that she wants something bad to happen to him, it's that she wants him to understand that things happen... I fully get it, I got hit 6 times in 6 years, none of which were my fault, 1 of which permanently disabled me... My husband has never been in an accident... It's something that causes some tension in our relationship because I have SEVERE anxiety when he's driving (or anyone really) and he can't comprehend why...

Story #2 GOOD APPLE. I feel like Rebecca read “my dad screwed me over” and let that shade how she saw the story? Like you can definitely hear how she felt about it before she finished reading the whole thing but just listening to the words it seems to me like OP’s dad had expressed wanting them to move home before he offered the down payment and then when OP said no the dad made his offer and didn’t specify before hand to kinda force OP’s hand? And honestly even if that’s not what happened I still think that offering someone a down payment based off of something you know is way cheaper where you are compared to where the other person is can 100% be considered “screwing them over” whether it was intentional or not. So I don’t feel like OP was feeling “entitled” to more money just because they thought the unspecified amount of money would be enough for where their ENTIRE LIFE was. If they did what the dad wanted, OP and their wife have to find new jobs, friends and hobbies. It’s 100% possible to say “thank you for the amount you gave but it’s not enough for my goals so I’ll have to come up with the rest” and I think that’s what happened here

Story 4 - She hasn't done anything wrong, all she wants is for him to understand. The fact that he says something about it all the time means he doesn't respect her.

Story #2 - I was SO ready to go good apple, until Rebecca said that he wrote that the dad “screwed him over.” Sometime I struggle with understanding tone, and when Rebecca was reading the story, I thought that the tone she used sounded much harsher and more bratty than what I gathered from the text. I genuinely perceived it as OP simply saying “Thank you for the money, I’m so grateful, but I still have to save more money because I don’t want to move, and will have to miss going on vacations until I can pay for a down payment.” I totally understand OP not wanting to move, 100% justified. Also justified is OP not going on vacation in order to save money. However, the moment OP said that their dad “screwed them over”, it became clear that OP was NOT grateful for the money and is weirdly spiteful at their father for giving them a gift. Even if the dad didn’t give what would be considered enough money for a down payment, the dad wasn’t obligated to give anything at all. Any amount of money would have been so kind and generous and OP is a crab apple for being upset that they got free money.

For story 2 I would say crab apple. Op is talking about not being ready to leave his home. I don't think he is talking about his dad screwing him over. His dad did push and push for op to move. Yes he still gave op the money, but op isn't ready to leave. It's not entitlement. I know what it's like to have to leave a place that you are connected to. His job, friends, hobbies, family are in that place. That's what I think.

Story number 4 I agree that wanting harm to happen to your significant other is wrong, but I also think that the husband should learn that accidents can happen at any time to anyone. As parents, we have to understand that it doesn't matter how great a driver or parent we are accidents happen, and we have to do the best we can to protect our kids and be vigilant. I am not just talking about car accidents, I mean, eventually, the seat will be turned around. The problem is, does the opinion go further than just the car. He has a young child, and accidents can happen in the home, etc. Pools, heavy furniture, etc. It's important as a parent to never get too comfortable. I do not know if this means I am overprotective, but I think it means that you need to find a better way to explain to him, that he is not above an accident occuring to him and he needs to do what ever he can to mitigate the potential risk. Lol, I hope this makes sense.

Story #2 - I feel like this situation could have been avoided if OP's dad had just communicated better. If he had said "I'll give you enough money for a down payment to live near me" from the start, then OP would have understood and perhaps acted more reasonable. The impression I get is that he just used the phrase "make a down payment on a house" but was intentionally vague about the rest just to be manipulative.

I feel like with story #4 husband is kind of taunting very real postpartum anxiety. She’s a good Apple because these are just her thoughts and if he’s that stubborn she may be genuinely worried of putting the child in danger when mom isn’t around. I think this was a bit dismissive on Rebecca’s part

Story #2 crab apple yes op is being entitled free monay is free money but she is not obligated to go on family trips ect.

Story #2 That person is definitely a Crabapple! They are so ungrateful at being given “free money” as you said. In this economy owning a home here in Australia is out of reach for most people. Renting one is just as hard. It sounds like it might be the same in the USA so if they want to scrimp and save because they want a house then that’s THEIR choice. I’m sure Dad gave them more than a few hundred dollars, it would’ve been in the thousands so why is this person even complaining?? They need to show kindness, the way it was shown to them. If something happened to that person’s Dad and he wasn’t around anymore, how important would this issue be? I think the couple would hang their heads in shame and that’s what they need to think about. Stop being ridiculously petty. Maybe they need some fun after not living life at all by denying themselves any pleasures which may be making them so bitter?

Story 2. I’d go good apple. My read of the situation is that OP’s dad told her he would pay for a down payment on a house, so she and her family started planning on moving to a house, probably getting all excited and setting up plans and all that, based on the average down payment in their area. Then, when the time came for them to move money around, they found out that there was a lack of communication on the details. OP suddenly had to totally switch gears and probably back pedal on a lot of plans because what her dad ended up giving her wasn’t what she was expecting based on what he said. So now, OP and her family have to scramble to change their plans to get the money they need for the house they were expecting to be a lot closer to having at this point. So, to stay as close to schedule as possible, OP decided to cut down on all unnecessary expenses, including a vacation with travel. That’s not punishing her dad. That’s not being ungrateful. That’s doing what you need to do to teach your goal. It sounds like most of the anger is from the miscommunication and assumptions made on both sides, not just “I want more money!”

Rebecca, I think it’s time for an Avery guest appearance. 🙏🏾🙌🏾

Story #3 - This is such a random, left-field conflict. I've never heard of a sibling asking another to swap bedrooms. OP has a right to her room and to her space. Also, why aren't the parents having a say in any of this?

#4 needs to get that attitude in check. She’s one impulsive thought from arranging an accident to get the insurance money.

Story 2: Crab Apple; given the agreement, the biggest problem is that OP and their father never communicated fully, but the entitlement of OP is uncalled for. I also want to add that I massively disagree that “most, like 95% of parents want their kids to live close to them” when the amount of parents who are neglectful or abusive is something like 30-35%. And of the remaining 65-70% of parents who aren’t neglectful or abusive, not all of them want their kids close.

story #2 the dad initially said he'd pay for a down payment and how were they supposed to know the meant where the parents live the they were going to save up and add to get a potentially even nicer place but then j do believe he kind of screwed them over because he didn't allow them to plan for their future correctly i thinnbit is a crab apple because i do think they still gave off an entitled attitude but they were kind of mislead because of poor communication on the dad's part

Story #2. Rebecca, I think you got the one kinda wrong. I don’t think the problem was that he was mad about the amount of money. I think the problem was that his dad made it seem like it was a grand amount of money and knew that they weren’t planning to leave their area so he was trying to use the money to manipulate them. And then when that didn’t work, he gave the money because he knew they most likely wouldn’t be able to find anything in that area so he was trying to force their hand to move closer. There is a fine line between trying to keep your kid closer and trying to manipulate them into doing what he wanted them to do and as somebody who used to be a mental health counselor, I saw a lot of people that seemed like they’re intentions were good, but really they were just manipulating their kids. He knew his life was in Colorado for years with this girl and they’ve never spoken about moving back. There was no reason for him to assume his son would find a place closer to him. He really was manipulating. Then he can’t get mad when the son doesn’t have finances to go back and visit because he now has to save money to take care of the family that he’s created Because his expectations were different based on how he was informed. He didn’t ask for the money, it was offered, and he was appreciative. I just got the sense from this guy that he has had to deal with his dad manipulating him before which is why they moved so far away and refused to move back. It wasn’t just that their stuff was there and friends were there. Also, for the title, I’m pretty sure that’s because that’s what his father told him he was doing.

No he didn't say thanks for the money it's not enough He said they don't want to move back home and therefore the money the dad gave them is a good sum but to stay where they are they'll basically need to penny pinch a lot more meaning cutting back on non essential including holiday and travel

Story 1 good apple, story 2 bad apple, because they don't seem appreciative for dad giving them money. So many people have parents who cant help in any way, and i feel they should remember that. story 3 is a good apple, and story 4 i think crab apple, because i dont believe she truly wants him in an accident i think she just wants him to shut up and they are intrusive thoughts that shes voicing.

Story #1….. CALL AN UBER!!!!! GEEEEZZZEE 🙄🙄🙄 Bad 🍎!! Not a friend in the slightest!! Edit: OP good apple, her friend is the bad 🍎.

Story 2 was definitely a personal attack. I get the "original title" he sent in, but based on the actual story he gave, you dug iut a Bad Apple based solely on your assumptions, something you should know better than to do. He didn't even TELL the dad they are refusing trips BECAUSE of him. The Bad Apple DAD TOLD HIM that. The DAD is throwing the entitled temper tantrum over the son, taking the money, and still not changing his mind to move closer. It wasn't a communication fail. It was the DAD CONTROLLING the situation fail. I'm disappointed how you threw that one way out of proportion. YOU always said we make decisions based on the info we are given. The info you gave compared to an entire rant of the assumptions you made definitely isn't a fair judgment.

That is a horrible story, I saw the title and freaked out because it is horrible.

story #2 i can't really agree with Rebecca on this one. i don't see it as OP _actually_ punishing his family because his dad didn't give him enough money. it didn't come across _to me_ as "well since you didn't give me the amount i wanted, we're not coming to visit out of spite." it seems more like the family is receiving the comment that way, not that OP meant it that way. but as someone who comes from a family of 5 with my dad making more money than my mom, but still not enough, i read this as, "we aren't going to be bribed into moving closer to you because our lives are here. but while we appreciate the gift, we will still have to scrimp and save as much as we can to buy a house sooner rather than later, and that means cutting out non-essentials. traveling to see family isn't exactly essential to our survival so we won't be able to do that for a while." i say that as someone who isn't very close to, or comfortable around, extended family because i grew up only seeing my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. once a year for a week or less at a time. we just couldn't afford more than that, and since (at least on my dad's side) everyone else lives within an hour or so of each other, they didn't really come to visit us hardly ever. my mom's family is a bit more spread out around the country, but they didn't come visit us either. her parents came for my and my sisters' confirmations and graduations, but every other time we've seen them has been traveling to them. as it is, the cost of living in our area has increased so much in the last few years that i'm 27 and can't afford to move out of my parents' house. we keep getting postcards from people "offering" to buy our house "for cash" but our house isn't worth enough at this point to take those offers. the money wouldn't be enough to cover 1/4 of what it would cost to buy another house in this area now. rich out-of-staters have moved here to work remotely for big companies in wealthier states because the area is beautiful, but the houses being built now are being built with those wealthier people in mind. they cost almost a million dollars (or sometimes more) now and most of the people who have lived here for decades are being pushed out because they can't afford to live here anymore. so from my perspective, it's not OP being ungrateful and throwing a fit, it's OP making hard choices to be able to afford to achieve his and his wife's goal of buying a house. edit: i can actually sort of see how OP might think his dad screwed him over. maybe it really was just a miscommunication, but it's reasonable to assume when your parents offer you money to buy a house, that it will be enough for a house where you currently live, UNLESS you've specifically told your parents that you plan on moving closer to them. it's NOT reasonable for the parents to assume you'll be "smart enough" to move somewhere with a lower cost of living when your job, friends, and entire life are in the city where you currently live. it's ridiculous for them to expect you to uproot your whole life to move closer to them and then say "well i thought you'd be smart enough to know i meant HERE where the cost of living is lower than where you live now." that's actually insane! maybe the dad didn't _mean_ to screw OP over, but i can see how OP would perceive it that way.

Story 2: I’m going good apple because I don’t like the dad’s attitude. He said he’d help her with a house. She’s not insisting it has to be the most expensive house so she can move to Los Angeles. It’s just the place where they live currently. And approaching her and getting mad that she can’t go on the vacation, I don’t like that either.

Here are my opinions on each of the stories. You may agree or disagree with me. I don't care either way. As long as you are civil about your disagreement. A healthy debate is okay. But being rude is not: Story #1: NTBA: The friend is TBA for asking you to drive. I heard this story on FB somewhere. And to continue the story, the husband did say yes. But the wife still insisted that he had not taken her. And the "friend" (and a friend of hers) wound up stealing their car. Cops came but husband (of course) refused to press charges. Don't remember anything after that. But the "FRIEND".IS.DEFINATELY.THE.BAD.APPLE. There are no two ways about that. Story 2 (I live in Colorado (my whole life) but that will not sway my decision on the judgement): NTBA: Your dad gave you money for a down payment. He should have been more in communication with y'all about what the money means. If he was only going to give it in hopes you would move back, he should have said something about that. Glad he still gave it to you and didn't take it back. That would have made things even worse for everyone. And doesn't transportation work two ways? How about once in a while you go back there? But once in a while they come to see you guys? Why should you do all the traveling? And if there really is a ripple in the family (if the dad isn't just saying that) then they really aren't family to begin with. (I will admit that I didn't listen to the whole story. Not sure why. I always do but just couldn't on this one. So my judgement might be a little skewed because of this. And can't see going back to listen to it) Story 3: NTBA: It's your room. If you don't feel like swapping, you shouldn't have to. The sister is 21. If she WANTS things her way, go get an apartment. All she needs is a one bedroom apartment. I get things are expensive but only way for her truly get what she wants. Yes, the window is a big deal for her. But guess what? She can get an apartment that has a big window in the bedroom. Then everyone is happy. Nothing wrong with that. Story 4: YTBA: Yes, you are THE BAD APPLE. There are many other ways he can be "knocked down". Have him watch a safety video with dummies in the car. Let him see what would happen if he was in an accident with the child seat facing forward and another with the child seat facing backwards. See how much safer it is backwards. Never (under any circumstances) wish your husband was in a car accident. I don't care how miniscule the accident is or who is involved. That is just NOT okay. If you truly loved him, you would not even think anything bad about him. What would happen if he did get into an accident? Do you really think that would "teach him a lesson"? Hellz no!!! Just be careful what you wish for!!! Verdict time: 🍏🍏🍏🍎 Only one person is the bad apple in my opinion. Remember: this is just my opinion. You have the right to agree or not. But please be nice about any disagreements.

Beginning if the video: "Who hopes their spouse has an accident?" Usually someone in an abusive relationship, but let's see where this goes. After story: Okay, I get it. A little petty, but I get it.

#1: Yeah, no. She's not a friend. She has a few options. She, honestly, should've used the time she had after finding out OP is pregnant to go to driving school. She would be done by now and have her own transportation. I'm not sure where they live, but she could look into public transit or taxis/Ubers. Heck, there might even be a co-worker who loves close enough and is willing to help her out. Otherwise, all she did was waste time and is now suffering the consequences of not taking the steps to ensure she can still get to and from work. OP is a Good Apple. #2: OP is definitely being entitled. I'm still teetering between Crab and Bad Apple. It's not a bad thing that they're trying to save up as soon as possible for a house, but the attitude about Dad helping is what bothers me. The original title of the post really is getting to me. I think I'll still go Crab Apple, but it's leaning more toward Bad than Good, for sure. #3: Yeah, I agree. I'm making assumptions at this point, but OP seems to possibly be neurodivergent. If that is the case, it would definitely be best to stay where you're comfortable. If a 21-year-old wants to throw a temper tantrum, let your parents handle it. They raised her. They can deal with it. I do worry they'll give in to what the sister wants since adult temper tantrums are usually linked to not hearing the word, "no," often as a kid. Anyway, Good Apple. #4: My boyfriend has never been in an accident. He drives very well, and he has sounded pretty cocky about it on more than one occasion. Never in the 15 years we've been together have I EVER wished anything bad happened to him. Not even a minor thing. That's just terrible from all angles. Bad Apple.

In story 2 the promise was not for money. The promise was for a down payment on a house. The money that OP's dad gave was not enough for down payment on a house where OP lives. OP's dad seems to blaming OP for living in an area with a high cost of living by suggesting moving to a cheaper area. But since the promise was for a down payment on a house, it very heavily implies OP's dad would be at least giving OP enough money for a down payment where OP lives instead of enough for a down payment in a cheaper area. This puts an extra financial burden on OP and now he can't afford to go on vacation and visit family. OP's dad didn't give OP enough money for a down payment on a house as he initially promised. Can somebody please explain to me how being disappointed that your dad broke his promise is entitlement. Again, he didn't give them enough money for the down payment. That's what this is about. Everybody giving OP crab apple and bad apple is focusing too much on free money and not what the initial promise was for.

Story #1: Clear Good Apple with a parasite pretending to be a friend. Story #2: As I mentioned last week, a lot of things are getting left out in the people's desire to not type up War and Peace. Clearly, the father has been pestering them to come nearby because otherwise, OP wouldn't have gone that far off the rails with his response, and who the heck offers a downpayment on a house or car and doesn't check how much they're looking to buy? That seems incredibly sketchy to me. He was going to give them X amount of money anyway so why tell them it's for a downpayment which is a vague amount when he knew what he was giving. So, I fully understand why OP went off on his father. I voted NAH when I read this story a week ago because I don't think either of them are wrong even though I think the father is more manipulative than comes off here. The fact is that OP wants to buy a house. He needs X amount of money for the house his family will need/want. He thought he had more money than he did for said house. That's not any different than having a car wreck or engine blows up on your car or any other emergency that socks your savings. He's doing the responsible thing. Now, the father is right that it comes off as punishing him, but maybe next time, tell the person just how much money you're giving them in the first place. OP would be in the same place he is now without any of the bitterness of thinking you're going to have a house and then not. So whatever NAH translates to in apples. Story #3: Easy Good Apple. Story #4: There are so many issues in that marriage beyond this. Clearly, he is one of those smug people that South Park so perfectly mocked in that hybrid car episode, and she's fast running out of patience. Don't worry as that divorce will hit him like a ton of bricks when you get there, and you're clearly around the bend and see the lawyer's office in sight. I'm going crab apple because I refuse to be around people that act like that so being around them every single day for most of the day would have a car hurtling over a cliff at some point and who knows which of the two of us would be in the car. I don't think this is the only issue is the bottom line. I'll go Crab Apple just because it's an intrusive thought, not an action.

Story 4: Um... What? Like, if we're calling people bad apples for malicious thoughts and malevolent fantasies (which this barely clears the bar of), I'd be a rotten enough apple to spoil others half the world away. I ain't gonna say good or bad. I will say it's pointless. Speaking as a cocky driver with tens of thousands of hours of driving under my belt, accidents do not make people more careful. Understanding the chaos of other people not following the rules of the road doesn't make people more careful. Even the accident where I got hurt, or the one where I was at fault didn't make me more careful. The only thing that makes people more careful is a conscious change in attitude and readjustment of old habits. It's even more pointless because you wish your husband had an accident as a wake-up call, but you also wish all the ways said wake-up call wouldn't actually be bad? Might as well make an alarm clock out of a gnat in a plastic bottle. Less than useless, and surely there is some tool at your disposal that's a little better.

Story 1: "friend" had several months to figure out what to do. They knew you were going on maternity leave at some point. And they're gult tripping you for them being too lazy to find themselves a way to get to work? Good apple. Ditch your so-called friend if this is their bottom line.

OMG the first time in a while I 100% agree with your judgements!! Two good apples and two bad apples. That last story was crazy too wow. I can understand wanting your spouse to not be so cocky but don't wish something like that one them. Before you know it, you may get your wish in the worst way possible and then where will you be? smh

HAPPY APPLE PICKING DAY!!🍎🍏 also i dont see in what world op in story 4 isnt the bad apple like theres actually no way she could say that and not see an issue😭

it was my last day of school today. i miss my teachers so much already. thank you for making the world a better place by making so many students' lives happier. :)

Apple #4 find videos with crash test dummies and see how long he thinks that just a safe dose of reality

I was shocked when u hear #3 I was so surprised since I read it before I saw the video. So cool!

Story #2 - I took it that the Dad was only going to give the money if they got a house near him.

I’m early… I’ve never been early

Sort of off topic but I love your dress, it looks really pretty on you!

Story 4: Crab Apple; wanting someone to understand where they’re at fault without malicious intent isn’t bad but it isn’t good either.

Story 1: I am sure there are buses, taxis, Ubers , Lyft in the area . She can get around some how

I LOVE YOUR DRESS!!! Where is it from???? 💕💕

in story to 2 she just cant affored

HAIII FIRST!! PLS PIN📍

Story #4: my husband is a trucker and at one point had the same attitude as OP’s husband (I think it a confidence thing that builds after getting command of a huge vehicle) he became SUPER critical of my driving, honestly I believe he was just trying to help and teach me what he had learned from professional driving but unfortunately it started to have the opposite effect my confidence in driving went down, not to mention it was frustrating to tolerate, but it all changed after he got rear ended while sitting at a stoplight( he was fine the other driver was fine, our jeep was fine, their car was totaled) not that I want my husband to ever get hurt but my sanity is thankful it happened. This woman is frustrated and at her whits end, she having conversations about her fears and his confidence/ego is stopping him from listening and it could potentially lead to their daughter getting hurt. This is a help cry from someone who feels stuck and scared and there is credibility to “I feel like the only way this will change is if he gets some perspective on the situation” and to me that’s valid and understandable so: good apple

Rebecca, I just have to tell you this story. I am 6 months pregnant, and a really good friend was getting married last weekend. Being so large, none of my nice dresses fit me. My husband took me out shopping and we found a lovely dress for the wedding... but my husband didn't stop there. Knowing I didn't have a lot of nicer maternity clothes, my husband decided to get me like five dresses, with accessories, and some other things too. It was so sweet since I'm only going to be this big for a few more months. But he wanted me to look nice. 😊 ...anyway, the dress you are wearing is one of the dresses he bought me. :) love it!

Apple #4: I had a different thought before listening to this submission. I thought OP had said "I wish you'd get into a car accident!" In the heat of an argument and badly hurt her husband's feelings. I didn't realize that OP actually had thought it through. I say bad apple. 🍎

For story #4, accidents are just that, accidents. By definition, an accident is an unfortunate incident that happens UNEXPECTEDLY and UNINTENTIONALLY, typically resulting in damage or injury. Have your husband take note of the words in all caps. Plus, as much as you can control yourself, you can't control others.

i can't sympathize with the women in story 4. i remember when i was quite young and i do NOT remember being in a car seat ever. im sure i was when i was like. a baby baby. but by the time i was like 2/3 i was not in them. sure probably not the safest. things were different 25 26 years ago when i was a toddler but still. shes freaking out over something so small. i get you want your kid safe but damn.

For story 2, I feel like she’s more crab apple. At least from how I understood it, the dad said he’d give them money for a down payment and they interpreted that to mean “down payment for something at least near where they currently live.” So I don’t think OP is entitled, she just assumed wrong.

Story #2: I say bad apple because the question was "Am I the bad apple for punishing the rest of my family because of my dad." That tells me that, while saving money for a house may be PART of why they're not visiting, there's still an element of petty spite because they used the word "punish." They're being spiteful because they weren't given enough free money. Like... my parents were always like "You are all paying for your own cars, houses, and education. We will help you if you need it, but there are 4 of you, so please don't need it." (Not in those exact words, but that was the gist). And I love my parents. They're some of the most generous people I know and I'm so grateful for everything they did give me. So the idea of "punishing" the dad (much less anyone else who wasn't involved in this exchange) for giving financial assistance? Nah! Bad apple.

Story#1: Good apple for OP. The friend is an entitled witch. She needs to find a new job and in the mean time, call a taxi/uber and learn to drive. Story #3: Good OP. Tell your parents and don't cave in to your sister. Story #4: Could be crab or bad for OP. don't know what on earth was said to me. Just why?

Also story #4: Husband, safety systems are like umbrellas. You're useless and you don't need them, up until the point where you VERY MUCH DO! Stop trusting your gut, listen to the experts, and stop nagging at the wofe

FIRST COMMENT AND FIRST LIKE:🩷🥇

Story 4: I would move the carseat myself! I feel like if you had kids you would at least see crab apple.....your child's saftey has to be #1 priority every time. Him being that way is stressing mom out terrible. By not practicing proper carseat saftey is putting someone's saftey on the line....PERIOD

Story # 2. I’m going bad apple. It’s ungrateful behavior and I don’t care if OP said “I showed gratitude” you didn’t. Your parent helps you out but you’re still complaining. It’s not right.

Story 2: Crabapple. They’re not entitled to the money BUT they would have saved more aggressively in the year(s) prior had they known they had to have more money saved up. Dad is 100% manipulative and OP is kinda just matching the energy

For story 2, id agree that they're a bad apple. The father didnt act the best and shouldve been more upfront but at the end of the day he still gave them the money. Im assuming they're further north of the Denver/Aurora area based on them saying they could be at a 16,000 ft mountain (which is more than likely Pikes Peak near Manitou/Colorado Springs) in 6 hours. Im also going based on them saying that town houses are selling for uowards of 400k in bad areas near them, the further south you go in Colorado the cheaper places get. If they want to stay in Colorado they better start moving further south towards Pueblo or the smaller towns in that vicinity. Even places like Colorado Springs are *selling* houses in the bad parts of town for 350k. Places in Colorado have skyrocketed since people started moving here from California and Texas, not to mention the large corporations buying up places to rent out or use as Air BNBs

Story 4: Crab Apple because she doesn't want anything too bad to happen, just a wake up call so he stops nagging. But also you shouldn't want someone to get in a car accident

Apple number one: Just take the bus! I take the bus EVERYWHERE! Just take a bus.

4th story bad apple (paused before your judgment) she wants a hypothetical innocent person's car insurance to go up because of a hypothetical accident even if no one got physically hurt and car damage is minor there is still the emotional and psychological distress it can cause what if the person who hit him was a teenager still learning how to drive and their car gets ruined and their family doesn't have money to get it fixed. I'm just making up scenarios in my head but op was willing to hurt a stranger just to get back at her husband's cockyness edit what if the person not a teen but a mom or dad or both parents with a toddler in their car op obviously doesn't want her daughter in danger but has she thought of a hypothetical car that should hit her husband's car to teach him a lesson, has their own toddler in the car?

Story 2 - The use of "Screwed me over" is in reference to Dad making a promise and withholding all the information in said promise, leaving OP to believe he was set until he wasn't. It isn't about the money itself, its about no longer having a safety net because Dad could've just be honest and instead tried to manipulate the situation by promising something on a stipulation without actually providing said stipulation. Now Dad is throwing a tantrum because there are consequences. OP thought there was a saftey net, Dad moved the goalpost which means the safety net is now gone, OP has to rebuild said safety net because of the very logical reason that they can't just pick up their loves and move thousands of miles away because that's what his family wants. And, yeah, they can't travel anymore if they want to rebuild that safety net. That is a consequence to Dad's lying. If dad had been honest about his stipulation, OP could have said no. Or OP could have had an actual choice and made it clear whether they would move or not. If you have lived in a place for over a decade, you have made clear you have no desire to move, and someone offers to help you pay for a house, do you actually expect them to make you move in order to actually get said house if they don't actually specify that? No, you don't. It isn't free money. It's "do what I want" money. That's why OP is angry.

I’d go crabapple for #4 bc she didn’t actually do anything except think bad thoughts. I think calling her a bad apple for thinking those thoughts would be similar to calling her husband a bad apple for wishing he could turn their 1 year old around to be front-facing even though he knows that rear-facing is safer. Heck, he even went as far as looking up the law! It sounds like he’s only keeping the child rear-facing bc he knows it would make OP mad to flip them around, and not bc it’s safer for his child, which is also a highly questionable motivation. In both cases, they’re both thinking bad things, but neither have acted. It doesn’t seem fair to give a pass to the husband bc he didn’t actually act on his dangerous thoughts while also giving a Bad Apple to OP for the same type of thing

Story #2 I think op is a crab apple, Op is wrong for saying their dad “screwed them over” but I also think the dad is wrong for getting mad that they are saving money for a house.

Story 2- if you have to save money to travel to visit your family, you live in different states, probably have to fly to get there. Yeah, the money for a down payment in Hometown is great, but are OP and Husband supposed to move one, two, three states away from their work? Maybe they should just move back to the cheaper town where they can't find jobs in their fields because they aren't needed thare? I guess it would be good to know how controlling the parents are. But if you can't afford to go back home for holidays/ family events because you're still saving for a down payment on a house, you can't visit them, and they should be understanding of that. Or maybe siblings got as much as they needed (which was more) and you get less?

#4. I 100% disagree because people who view accidents as an impossibility “because they’re such great drivers” don’t deserve to have a drivers license. That type of person isn’t just annoying they are scary and objectively incorrect. Op, the wife is not a bad apple and is certainly not exhibiting crazy behavior. She laid out the importance and safety of a matter regarding their child, and the husband essentially responded with “oh it doesn’t matter because unicorns are real.” Now you say the crazy behavior is she wants her husband to be in accident. I would agree except: she states she wants him to be in an accident, and then lists a million exceptions to the point where she practically removes everything that defines an accident. Op doesn’t want her husband to be in an accident she just desperately wants him to stop joking and poking at something that is no laughing matter. The husband of op is 100% in the wrong. Whether he is implementing the safety procedure or not. He continues to bring up the reason he thinks he shouldn’t have to. It’s one thing to joke the first time. You could even say the joke might be deemed funny the second time. But your wife and the mother of your child says this is not a joke. You have to really wonder why the husband continues to bring up the subject. I would not allow that man to drive with my baby period. Certainly not until he exhibits a better understanding of the danger of driving and the importance of following safety procedures, especially when it comes to infants.

#4...yes, thinking that is not good, but I would probably be thinking the same thing, after multiple attempts to make my partner understand that he is putting our daughters life at risk cause it's "eisier" and he has an " I'm untouchable" complex. Crab

Story 2 is a big shift for me. First part is added context: I'm taking the comments at face value, possibly to my own detriment but am using them as a source that there has been unequal treatment between children in this family, whether intended or not. I get it, times are tough, but you should in my view, do things equal to wants and needs of your kids; that's just my philosophy on this and clearly with the payment of tuition and homes that's not being done here. Next part here is, we cannot assume tone so I'm separating how Rebecca read it from how it's written. I read this as a misunderstanding between child and parent, but then belittling of the child. The phrase "I thought you'd be smart enough..." is not how you speak to your child, regardless of if you are giving them money for a house. Expecting someone to up and move on a whim is coercion through financial manipulation if: 1. This was not discussed previously, and 2. If it is being done to force someone to do something which they would otherwise not do. When you have to adjust finances to move and shift costs to meet your goals sometimes in society that means you gotta cut back, and the idea they are being ungrateful is what is being reinforced because that's the question, are they being ungrateful? No, they aren't. They responded to what was asked, feel slighted through appearing unequal treatment and seem to be belittled by their family. Intentions don't matter if the impact does not have that affect.

story 1. if there is no medical reason for not driving, then you NEED to know how to drive unless you live in a city like chicago or new york. which it sounds like they don't. they need to become an adult and not rely on others that heavily

Today is also "Andim Day" on the Holy Pastafarian calendar -- celebrate by involving a plate of pasta (whatever that looks like for you), or some other way that gives you a great day! Just remember to save space for tomorrow's holiday, and the one the day after that!

Story number 3: OP sounds like they might have undiagnosed Autism. Everything they were saying ie not liking light, noise, change etc are all signs of it. The way they write, over-explaining everything, putting in the same points multiple times are things Autistic people do to not be misunderstood. May not be but that was my thought as i was listening.

Story two; I have a really different view from Mrs R on this one. It sounds like dad and OP just have different perspectives. The original title sways me a little to mrs R’s view but I still think OP isn’t travelling because they need to save up. Totally agree that the dad’s generosity has been down played but OP still needs to operate within their reality and they want to build up the down payment for a house which means making sacrifices, one of which is not travelling out of area.

Story two; I have a really different view from Mrs R on this one. It sounds like dad and OP just have different perspectives. The original title sways me a little to mrs R’s view but I still think OP isn’t travelling because they need to save up. Totally agree that the dad’s generosity has been down played but OP still needs to operate within their reality and they want to build up the down payment for a house which means making sacrifices, one of which is not travelling out of area.

Story 2: I think op was a crab apple. I agree with what you said about the free money, but I perceived op as trying to get a house ASAP. And because of that op was just trying to cut out some costs, because they didn’t have enough money yet. Plus if the family wanted to see them so bad they could go to Colorado. Plus I don’t think it’s wrong of them to assume the money was going to be for Colorado. I feel like op is probably just upset because they have to save a lot more now than if the dad had given them what they thought.