For the 4th story I am so glad OP stood up for herself. MIL was overstepping with demanding she drop everything and come to dinner. Especially since the everything in question was the baby she was feeding. If I was the husband in this situation, I would have tried to have stepped in when my mother was being rude to my wife and child. I would have agreed with how she handled it by coming to the table while breastfeeding. "You wanted her at the table. She's at the table. Let's eat. Oh you're uncomfortable? Maybe we could have waited for your grandchild to finish eating instead of snap snap it's time to come to dinner."
4 good apples 1. I hope the kid gets help 2. I hope the sister in law hopefully fixing her body image 3. I hate when family thinks you're stuff is theirs. You have to put your foot down 4. Husband and the other men need to talk to the mother in law and have her understand. The new mom is feeding the baby that's it.
1- Good Apple, respectful, setting boundaries regarding her family. 2- Good Apple, just because the bride is a heavier size other women have to be ashamed of their body size? To me that is shaming other people. She had enought time to try to be a smaller size of she truly wanted to. 3- Good Apple, family needs to learn to respect other family members privacy, wishes, and boundaries. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. 4- Good Apple- her husband Bad Apple, he should have stepped up and had a serious conversation with his mom. He needed to step up for his wife, for his baby, for his FAMILY. The wife stood her ground, and won the war. The husband really needed to be a man, instead he is a Mama's boy.
Completely agree on #4. I got SO MAD when the husband scolded her! If I'd been at that table, I probably would have cracked up laughing and told MIL that she got exactly what she asked for
For #2 I would wear the dress and make myself look as bad as possible so when someone asks me what the heck I’m wearing I would give the whole story but I am insanely petty lol
Regarding the Apple #2 story about the soon to be sister-in-law and the dress that she picked for the groom's sister to wear, someone needs to tell her that the late 70s early 80s called, and they want they want their dress back😅
Love the photos of the dresses in the second story, really gives perspective OP was not being dramatic at all I loved the dress she picked, that pink dress was atrocious!
If someone likes and wants to wear that pink dress, more power to them. Wear what they like! But the bride definitely didn’t choose it because she thought her future SIL would look gorgeous in it… Where what makes you feel good! Men, women, NB-same rule. Like, I wouldn’t feel comfortable in the blue dress, because I’m very busty and no way that could contain my assets. But no way I would feel good in that pink dress, either!
Story 4: I feel for OP. Those early days are damn hard even with perfect support. I’m confused by MILs behaviour. NTBA, maybe petty but I’d probably have done the same: I believe we call it malicious compliance and I’m here for it, at times.
NTBA. “Derek” has demonstrated that he’s not safe to be around his younger siblings, so he’s sorely in need of the ultimatum that OP laid down. Getting the police involved was also the right “scared straight” call. I also approve of OP’s compromise that Dad can see him, but he’s not welcome in the family home until he gets the help he needs. I do wonder if the charges filed went as far as a court date… and if so, why therapy wasn’t part of the verdict.
My plan when breastfeeding for the first time was to use a nursing cover........I HATED it. It was hard to get the latch successfully, it drew a ton of attention, my baby hated it too. I ended up yanking the thing off and deciding it wasn't worth it. I'm now very vocal about how "just cover up" is not the easy 'solution' many people seem to think it is.
I feel that a woman should be allowed to breastfeed openly in public. With that comes the duty not to shame men for staring at you while you do it. Unfortunately, a lot of women have a double standard.
I agree so much with. It's also the same concept of why don't you go feed the baby in the bathroom when you're out. I'm sorry, but you aren't expected as an adult, teen, child, or elder to cover yourself while you're eating or eat in the bathroom. So why does the baby have to be subjected to those things.
I totally agree, shaming anyone for their body/ appearance is always wrong. I also don't get brides purposely making bridesmaids wear ugly dresses. Every bride looks gorgeous on her wedding day and the couple will be the center of attention no matter what. I'm not married/ engaged, but I would go out of my way to ensure my bridesmaids feel comfortable and beautiful in their dresses (and can afford their dress).
I just love how she goes through the entire story and all the points that’s she had and then at the end says the apple she picks and it for some reason gives so much suspense. Which is so silly to me because I know what’s she is going to pick by her words but still in suspense 😂
First story, I think Derrick's bio parents need a serious wake up call. If He harmed a small child at his young age, there's definitely something misfiring in his mind. Jealousy, perhaps? Either way, the kid needs some serious help before it escalates into something that will totally ruin his life and the lives of any of his potential victims.
I agree all good apples, and I'm also feeling really triggered by all the toxic family dynamics. 😭 Poor OPs. Side note - the pink bridesmaid dress totally looks like the one Rachel had to wear in FRIENDS to her ex-fiancee's wedding. 🤣
This is for story number 2. As an extremely skinny person, people have always commented on my weight. I also suffered with anorexia for 15 years. It always bothered me that my weight was a constant conversation growing up. I’ve gotten better and I eat more regularly now but I’m still very skinny. If it were my sister telling me I had to wear a hideous dress to her wedding, I wouldn’t go. I don’t think OP is the bad apple. I know how she was feeling in that moment and I think she’s completely validated in not going. Anyone who tries to diminish your light is jealous that they can’t stand in it. Shame on the future sister in law.
I'm the same way, I hate how skinny I am. I like the ugly dress because I guess I'm a weirdo with weird style, but she doesn't. I hope you have a good day!
The funny thing about the second story is the sister in law doesn't want her to stand out, but putting her in a dress like that will make her stand out in photos. She will be more noticed because everyone will be glamorous while she will look like a trash bag. So it seems contradictory
@@jordanhabibi332 yeah she wants her to stand out but look bad while standing out. She's like one of those friends that brings the not pretty people to be her friends to make herself look good.
I can't help but wonder if someone - possibly the groom - has made comments comparing the bride to OP. The horrible dress is the bride's way of fishing for comments from that person saying bride is prettier.
The bride was blaming the OP of being a drama queen, so I think there is more issues here. I don't think that anything that OP did and came to the wedding would satisfy the bride. She would find something else to blame the OP.
For the last story: im not a big baby person, i dont want any of my own and i dont particularly like being around them. But i will absolutely fight for a womans right to breastfeed. I work in a coffee shop. This customer came up and asked if it was ok if she breastfed in here. I told her absolutely. She looked concerned and said 'ive been in other shops, the staff are fine but sometimes i get comments or looks from customers about it, so it makes me nervous' i said 'if anyone so much as looks at you funny, theyll have me to deal with! Dont hesitate to come to me for help'. Because she was doing nothing wrong. We did try and find a quieter spot but sadly the layout of my shop is massive windows and big spaces so theres not really any corners to hide in.
1. Good Apple. So much respect for the difficult decision to set a hard boundary. It must be so sad to see the danger and not have the authority to help ALL the children involved. 2. So not the bad apple!! If going was a serious option, I would wear the first dress, but not going feels like the best option for this OP. We didn’t go to my BIL’s wedding, because they didn’t go to ours. And before we could have a civil talk about it, they blew up our phones. And then we went from LC to NC (to now LC because of obligations). 3. Not the bad apple. Could I have done this? Probably not. But I also have boundary issues, and buying a vacation home and everybody wanting to be there would cost me a whole lot of extra therapy 😉 A good talk with the husband is a thing I would recommand. Stay on the same page, just like you were when you bought the place. 4. Not the bad apple! Is the baby not family? Is the baby not eating? Why is it a problem that the baby eats with his/her family?? And I know, some people can not handle seeing certain bodyparts without feeling shame and other not nice feelings. But don’t bother a mother while feeding her baby. Thake a chill pill (no, not really). And dad… step up!! My foster daughter is in a taste testing fase now and we had pistachio yoghurt last week. I was prepared for a lot of negative reactions, but we all loved it! And the fairy tale of the week is Turning Red (maybe not a real fairy tale, but close enough)
2 - For someone claiming that she doesn’t want OP to attract undue attention, the bride-to-be will be shocked to learn that the travesty she’s asking OP to wear will have the absolute opposite effect. She’s also a fine one to accuse OP of being a drama queen!
1st story: Good Apple!!! We knew a family who found out their oldest boy (12) was sexually abusing the youngest boy (5). They had to place the oldest in a group home for therapy to protect their other children. And get therapy for the 5yo. The 12yo lived there until he was 18. It was safest for all if he had no contact with the family. Very sad and of course the parents were in grief and agony about it. But they did it for the other kids and gave them wonderful childhoods. Story 2: Good Apple. You're absolutely right. Body shaming is so bad. No one's business what someone else's body shape is. Story 3: Good Apple. Story 4: I would have been laughing hysterically when OP came to the table. And laughing even harder at MIL's temper tantrum. Perfect way to take her power back and stand up to Monster in Law.
Why couldn't the parents of the 12 year old boy at least call him? I totally understand him not being allowed anywhere near his siblings but a parent's love is unconditional. I can't imagine why it would be best for anyone to never see or speak to their child again. Not even over the phone? How would that be unsafe?
@@BrieB-dy5mbThis particular family decided it was best because the boy was resistant to therapy, showed no remorse, and did not seem reformed. The decision to include the parents in no contact was reached after many years of contact with them while the boy was in the facility, their participation in therapy with their child, and much soul searching.
I really love the fact that every time you commented on the pink dress from the dress story you never put down the dress itself. Like you never called the dress ugly, you just specified that it is not your favorite type of dress or something you think that you would look good in or something that would make most people comfortable. I think that really speaks volumes to your understanding that everybody has different style preferences and that they need to be respected at night calling an article of clothing that somebody may wear or like ugly could damage someone's confidence in their own style.
I love your kitty so cute!🥺 and I like your background! I love how you didn’t mention the husband in last story until later. The husband literally SCOLDED HER because of what she did. He did nothing to help his wife at all!
Regard the first story, the stepmother isn’t even barring her stepson from the house. She specifically said he can’t “stay overnight” or “live with (them)”. That’s a very reasonable boundary and safeguard if a kid has previously harmed someone, especially a sibling. In fact, if he were getting help, it would still be a reasonable temporary measure until they had some assurance that he was safe.
THANK YOU!!! for pointing out at the end that the MIL was visiting in story #4. It was OP's house!!! New mother factor aside, husband should have stood up to his mother for telling his wife what to do IN THEIR OWN HOME!!! I get that MIL may have been trying to help, making meals and all, but if you are causing additional stress to our for unreasonable expectations of a new mother, YOU ARE NOT HELPING! Good apple 100%
Story 1: NTBA. It’s appropriate to set boundaries. I just want to caution against forcing people into therapy - if it isn’t something they want or at least agree they need, it could do more harm.
For the third story- I agree, we don’t all have to be on the same page of boundaries, or even the same book. Somebody else’s boundaries don’t have to be your own, vice versa. But for humans to cooperate with each other, we MUST respect others boundaries. If you can’t, that’s ok, you are not meant to be in that close of a relationship with that person, or you’re not meant to be in their life at all. A lil side note- Many people often muddle boundaries/respect with morals. While they go hand in hand, they’re not necessarily intertwined. We can respect the boundaries of those with different morals and be friends all the same.
PIstachio story! When I was a kid and some sweet went missing, she would line us up and see who had crumbs. 6 kids meant somebody did it but determining who was more difficult. So one time I got really smart and decided to hide the pistachio cookies until after the inspection. I congratulated myself as I stuffed one in my mouth from my hiding spot. And it moved. Turns out that the ants got into my cookies. I have never been able to eat pistachios since. I have also never hidden food since. So I guess it was a cheap lesson to learn. I also had absolutely pristine teeth after brushing them very, very carefully.
Kind of relevant to story 2: I am constantly seeing comments under people's video that talk about their bodies. I saw a comment that said something like, "You have the ideal body shape for a woman" and under it a reply that said "You shouldn't make comments on others bodies, it can pressure people." And then a bunch of replies to that saying stuff like "if your insecure just say so" and "just let them compliment them". I have simply stopped arguing with these people. I see comments like this ALL THE TIME. You shouldn't comment on others bodies no matter their weight. It hurts everyone else involved. Maybe someone who reads a comment like that starts comparing themselves to the person in the video. Or maybe the person in the video is sick or has an ED. You. Don't. Know. Being skinny doesn't automatically mean healthy. ❤❤❤
For the 3rd story I would say crab apple. I would have said to my family, cause obviously someone asked what happened to the house for them to say it didn't work out, that we got the house but here's the boundaries. Being honest from the gecko would have probably helped avoid the situation because now everyone being angry means they aren't going to listen to those boundaries now and just be more offended by your request.
First story: I cannot imagen what this child is going through and how terrified this 8 year old girl became after that tragic event. I would not feel safe and would want to separate myself simply for my own safety because that is traumatizing. I hope everyone gets the support they need.
That 3rd story almost triggered me. 😂😂 I didn't go through anything quite as bad. But at the end of 2022, my husband and I were able to buy our own home. Everyone was excited for us. We mentioned the address, and my husband's grandma looked it up--spouted out info from the listing during a separate visit with her. It kinda shocked me, like... I wished we could have been the ones to spout information on it. Then before we moved in, she actually stopped by the house and took a look at the back yard. That one took me aback again like... I wanted people to see that space later, after we moved in. Maybe for a party or something when it was warm. Or maybe just after things died down since the holidays were right around the corner, you know? And then the last thing was her letting us know that she wanted to drop by whenever she wanted to see how things were. Mind you, my husbamd and I had already been living in an apartment for 6 years, and not once did she even come see us there. Why was it different for when we got a house? And we're not the picture perfect couple that can have the house in a presentable enough position for company. I personally want guests to come to a decent looking house, so I want to clean up when I know company is coming. Anyway, my husband told her not to come over unannounced and that if she did come and ring the doorbell, we wouldn't answer the doorbell. And so far, she has heeded his warning. Don't know what it is about people feeling that they are entitled to your own space...
the first story made me more emotional than i expected to be. as someone who is always called “too skinny” cuz of high metabolism and developed an ED from it, first story is the goodest of good apples. the audacity of this woman BAFFLES me.
Can i just say i love that you have no shame about not wanting kids. Especially as most probably see you as a pretty nurting type based on your personality & teaching career. I'm 33 & have no desire to have a baby. I've been saying this since i was 8 & people have told me all my life i will change my mind. I do have a step son (he was 8 when i entered the picture) and i think that was perfect for me. I didn't have to give birth, change diapers or deal with toddler tantrums but still got to experience motherhood (his birth mom isn't in picture). He's 20 now. Maybe you'll decide to do the same or adopt an older kid or maybe you won't. And that's OK. We need to stop shaming women who don't want to have kids.
Story #1: CrabApple! This is at a time when the child would need his parents the most! Now if OP reintroduced the idea of counseling, and made that a condition in order for him to be at their house, I think that would be reasonable. But I just think it’s horrible to simply cut off a child after the first behavioral incident. Now Rebecca, you made it sound like my suggestion was the case, but I didn’t get that impression. I was originally thinking bad apple, but after your insight I think bad apple might be a little too harsh. Story #2: Good Apple! Seriously, what is SIL’s problem! Is she afraid the groom is going to focus more attention on OP instead of her?? If she is worried about that, being overweight is the least of her problems. And I think OP did the right thing by just not attending the wedding. If SIL was so worried about OP outshining her, then she should be glad OP isn’t going. As a man, it’s hard to put myself in OP’s shoes and say what I would have done. Usually for a wedding, men just wear suits or tuxedos, and most tuxedos are black. I’ve never heard of a groom being worried about a male attendee outshining him at his wedding. Story #3: CrabApple! With a slight lean towards good apple. And the main reason for that is because she lied. This would have been a good apple easily if OP had just said they got their dream house, but would like some time to get settled before having visitors. I think refusing to give the address, and especially a spare key, is completely reasonable. Story #4: Good Apple! MIL brought this on herself. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: women who have been recently pregnant should have her husband’s(hopefully he is a husband and in the picture) full support. He should have told his mother “Stop bothering my wife when she’s feeding our child! She’ll come down and eat when she’s good and ready.” And if that didn’t work he should have scolded his mother. It seems like everyone but OP are bad apples in this story. I got 2 Good Apples and 2 Crabapples. Even then we seem to agree on many viewpoints we just interpreted the stories a little differently. And I don’t know if you planned this or not, but unless I’m mistaken, all the OPs in this episode were female. May I suggest next week choose 4 stories where all the OPs are male? Mine can be one of them 😉.
I do really think for apple #3 it should be crab apple, I personally think they should have been upfront with their expectations before they knew if they got the house, if the family was still acting entitled then I think they should do as they choose, I think that the lying just made the situation worse in the future. No matter how much you want something to stay secret, it’s almost impossible to keep it secret forever, but I can’t say bad apple because they didn’t want a confrontation. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, I’ve never bought a house and my family typically has boundaries that we understand.
STORY n.4: I think that she should have told her family and not lie to them and needed to stand her ground talking to them and explaining what was the problem
1- Good Apple, she's just keeping her family safe and also trying to keep Derek safe at the same time but suggesting therapy 2- Good Apple, there is no argument OP was wearing an appropriate dress and that's the end of discussion. 3- Good Apple, its your property and you need you peace and its gonna be your decision in the end 4- Good Apple, she's just feeding her baby and there is *nothing* wrong with it
The fourth story. She did exactly what she should have done. I have a similar story, a teenage boy told me his grandmother kept barging in his bedroom without knocking. I told him if he wanted it to stop, to try and be nude and playing with himself. The old lady would be so embarrassed that she would never barge in again.
That 3rd story, not the bad apple. The family should’ve asked and not assumed and should not have been angry when they knew about the house. They clearly don’t respect boundaries.
When I got married I told my bridesmaids pick what ever dress you want in Navy Blue. And let them go at to. My choice of color was simply navy blue can be worn to any other event and is very classy. ❤and I loved 🥰 that they were happy in what r hey wore. In OPs case I would definitely not wear that dress.
The thing is, there are these "garments" that are made ESPECIALLY FOR BREAST FEEDING that are VERY APPROPRIATE for breast feeding a baby ANYWHERE (in my opinion). They are similar to a shawl or a hair cutting cape, but they're round and very light weight, so that the baby can easily breathe through them, yet they're translucent, so they can't be seen through. They COMPLETELY COVER EVERYTHING. Baby AND Mom can, BOTH, sit at the family dinner table or restaurant, park, front porch or ANYWHERE and be TOTALLY COVERED. Secondly, Rebecca, as a mother of four and a retired daycare owner/operator of 25 years, may I suggest if you'd like to help out your friends who are new moms, rather than grabbing them and telling them, "Get the kids and let's go somewhere - You've been cooped up too long" (which is a VERY SWEET THOUGHT, no doubt), how about telling them, "You need to do something for YOURSELF, whether it's to go buy groceries without kids distracting you, go shopping for a new outfit or swimsuit for yourself, go get a pedicure, go visit a friend or meet a friend for lunch, or just SLEEP ALL DAY LONG if you want - you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT to do - and I will watch your baby (kids) for you for the entire day. It's my gift to you because I love you and I know how much you need and deserve it and even though I'm not a mom, YET, I can, TOTALLY, understand how hard it is. ❤ I can PROMISE you she'll love you more than she loves her husband. 😂
7:45 When i looked through my files (from when i was in fostercare), i found that one of the families i was with was giving my sister and I "calming meds" and that why we were moved to the next home. I was 2 years old at the time (my sister was 3)
#4 How rude of the MIL!!! She is a guest in her DIL's home. I salute the new mom for proving her point and standing up for herself and her baby. NOT bad able, but honorary able. 😍 PS! Husband definitely a bad able. He should be ashamed of himself for not standing up to his mother for his wife in THEIR OWN home.👎
Story 2: I'm obviously not a woman, so maybe my perspective is different, but I feel like those comments would give me the message: We don't want you here because you're important to us, we want you here because we think it will make us look good. I absolutely would not go.
For story three, I would personally go crabapple. Her family and his family were way out of line, and yeah what they own does not belong to their family. What I didn’t see was them saying something like "Yes this is our house, but we really want to keep it a place for our family" then tell their family about other homes in the area for vacationing. I just think that it was such a big secret that it was a little naïve to think the family would never find out.
#3 - I had a sister that would sneak into my vegetable garden and take every green tomato- leaving none for me. She would pick almost every near ripe thing we had.. She had used our BBQ grill for their own personal use when we were going to be gone most of the afternoon/ evening. If the parents and siblings had already made plans to use the house-- then they feel they too own it- and they will all get a copy of the keys and will make plans without clearing it with them. They will start inviting their friends and claiming it as their own. I would suggest to them to invest in a security system-- that needs a code to enter that changes every time they use it..... ---- They need to make it clear that they (the couple) is RESPONSIBLE for--- MORTGAGE, LIABILIY, MAINTAINENCE, and mire likely cleaning- so therefore it's their home, their rules, and that heavy responsibility means they must limit access to the home when they are not there. t.. period. Then MAYBE offer to open the house to special events and not without them being on the premises.
No bad apples... breastfeeding mom did what she needed to do, husband is responsible as well for not telling his mother to STFU... Baby comes first, I LOVE this mom😂
Apple #3 (before I watched Rebecca's thoughts on the story) crab apple I think the oc didn't want to break the fantasies of their loved ones and didn't want to ruin their relationship but I don't necessarily think that what they did is the best way of going about that. what I would've done is I would've probably just said it to their face because I'm very blunt and I would tell them that I want the house for myself without people constantly hanging out there. My grandparents constantly have people over at their house so when i visit there are always my cousins and aunts and great grandparents.
Favorite fairy tale is The Princess Bride. It’s not even close.❤ I have to disagree with the pistachio flavored take. Pistachio gelato is proof the world isn’t always cruel. I love apple picking day. You’re doing a great job and should hear that more.😊
On the lakehouse story, I think there's a cultural thing you're missing. Some families have no sense of boundaries, and have the idea that YOUR stuff is OUR stuff. And I'm definitely getting that vibe when the mother is asking for keys and the brother is inviting himself over for the weekend. Deflecting that with lying or obfuscation may be completely appropriate because there is no other way to set the boundary. I had an aunt with this mentality who just showed up unannounced to our private family Christmas morning. We had to just stop telling her about things. Also a great cautionary tale for the unintended stupid consequences of social media.
story #3 - send a group email and let the family know why they didn't tell them that they bought the house. tell them exactly why you made the decision to not tell them.
Most families wouldn't be trying to push their way into the house that much. I wouldn't lie about buying a house but my family wouldn't try to take it over. They family is the bad apple.
Third story: I’m leaning more towards bad apple. The couple lied about their house(for reasons that I would frankly agree with) but they’re reaping the repercussions of said lies because of some social media pictures that the sister(or sister in-law?) saw and she ratted them out. If I were the sister I would have at least confronted them about the house, see why they hadn’t told the family. I don’t know if that would change my decision though.🤔
Regarding the Apple #2 story about the soon to be sister-in-law and the dress that she picked for the groom's sister to wear, someone needs to tell her that the late 70s early 80s called, and they want they want their dress back
1st story- don't assume it's ok to have him there during the day. As part of his probation, he should have a safety plan in place for him to be around any younger children. It is also strange that there is no court mandated therapy involved. This is very common and the therapy is all about teaching them about boundaries, consent, and exploring what led to the offense and developing healthy behaviors and mindsets to prevent future problems. Maybe the child hasn't been tried yet.
I think the BIGGEST issue in #4 is that there is a family full of people who think women should Breastfeed in private... EVER... much less in their own home!!! People who think women should EVER cover up while feeding their baby infuriate me!!
I nursed my screaming baby on main Street downton disney during peak time and didnt use a blanket cover (over shirt covered the top part of boob and tank covered the under bits) and whipe i got a few looks, overall i got more supportive looks and it was awesome!! No one said anything negative and it was one of the few times i really needed to do that in public :-)
For the third story: Not the bad apple. They need to talk to the family about their boundaries and maybe even why they do not feel comfortable giving out that information to them. If they don’t think it’s right then they don’t need to know. For my dad’s house when I was younger and someone would be upset because of our rules I’d say, it’s my dads house so we follow his rules.
For the wedding story, if i was the person being told to wear something i wouldnt like id just wear something else. I have SPD (sensory proccessing disorder) and would most likely just wear a suit, if someone was trying to force me to wear a dress (im a girl) or wear an uncomfortable suit, I would either not go or not wear what im told to. I am not an expert because ive never been to a wedding, but if i were to, the person would just have to accept it
The 3rd story - It’s really telling that they had to lie in order to get peace. It’s sad when families actively refuse boundaries and it shows from how they reacted that they were completely right about how they would act if boundaries were set naturally, because let’s face it people that respect boundaries when figuring this out would’ve felt weird, asked why, and be very unlikely to even want to go because it would be obvious that they weren’t wanted there and that might make them feel some type of way but if they’re insisting on going and not talking to them until their address is given it sounds like they delayed inevitable but they were at least able to get peace at the beginning and that’s something that’s really important to me and if it’s as important to them I’d say completely NTBA
#1 i'd be encouraging dad to take custody and get Derek into therapy. It's obvious mom isn't going to do it. Step parents should fight for the child's best interest with their spouse. As a mom with a special needs child, seeing my husband her step dad fight for her best interest made me love him more.
For my wedding I was stressed out about my brides maid dresses. My maid of f honor said choose the dress you want and I will tell all of them this is the dress she wants and that's the one we're going to get. They all tried on the sample cut. They all looked beautiful in a knee length eggplant color, short sleeved, corset satin dress and their choice of silver shoes.
Four good apples! 1. The result of the criminal charges might require the son to get counseling. 🤞 2. I'd take the dress & have it altered and possibly dyed to a color that the OP likes. 3. Who is paying the mortgage? Those are the people who get to decide who uses the house & when. Do others want to use the house? Maybe they can rent it for a weekend. If this is their solution, get an electronic lock. Change the code after each renter. 4. She is a genius!
It is important to report all violent behavior in a household. It is tedious for law enforcement. However, the reality is that if the violent individual has an extreme mental break and attacks, other members of the household who are forced to use force to defend themselves and others. Without a history of past actions of violence, the wrong person could end up detained, and the truly violent person is then left in charge of the household. Or worse if you are forced to end the life of the aggressor in self-defense. Without a reported history, you could find yourself in prison for defending yourself. Had this issue with my father due to medication miss management. From the 80s - mid 2000s
#4. WTF is wrong with her husband! The fact he scolded his wife for that is a very shitty thing to do. It's one thing for your inlaw to be shity to you, but your partner. I feel like maybe she should reconsider her marriage.
The guest dress at the wedding thing- Yeah, I don't get it either. We did a black, white & red wedding. I asked my bridesmaids to wear "a black dress you're comfortable wearing in front of my grandmother" and I supplied matching accessories. All but one of my bridesmaids was travelling a long distance to be there, including one international, so I couldn't even let them loose in a bridal shop with a colour/fabric selection. It worked out and my ladies looked gorgeous!
Response to the MIL for the nursing mom when asked why she came to the table like that, "Well ya told me to, ya told me to, ya told me to.".a la Bugs Bunny.
That last story is sooo passive aggressive and she should have just told her mother in law directly to stop being annoying But I give her props for the audacity! Love it ❤ Her mother in law is the problem though. I swear some women can be other women WORST enemies
In the 3rd story, the people who might say bad apple are the type of people who don't respect boundaries or know how to set boundaries, they are people you don't wanna be around
At my first wedding, I picked a spring dress that was in season, in fashion, for Easter- it was knee length, - something they could wear again for church, an outing, and I couldn't afford my own hairdresser so I told them wear their hair in what they felt made them look pretty- and as far make-up-- wear some but keep it 'springtime fresh' or natural. I wore a formal wedding gown and the men wore simple tux, no vest (I tried to get them to just wear the vest but ... his parents made a big deal of it with pastel bow ties. As far as pictures, I made sure that the couples in the party had a professional picture individually so they could have a nice pic if they wanted to put it up (sadly, the 2 couples in the bridal part and my husband and I all got a divorce- ha). I cannot imagine being so nasty as to make them look ugly.
Re. Pistachios: Crushed salted pistachios are an amazing addition to most sweet breakfast items. If I'm in a hurry, I'll just sprinkle them over some multigrain toast with butter and jam, but if I'm feeling fancy, I'll throw them on a pancake or waffle with a scoop berry skyr. Adds great nutrition and some gorgeous color.
16:46 I would modify the dress. I’ll remove the sleeves, possibly dye it, and add lace or sparkle to it. If anyone comments on it I might be petty and show them the original and make it clear why the bride wanted me to wear that version and I might be in trouble tweaking it for my comfort. The bride could get mad but technically I’m wearing the dress she asked me to wear.
