Women Struggle With Pornography Too w/ Rachael Killackey 

Best channel on RU-vid

Please brothers and sisters I am really struggling with chastity. Please, please pray for me! Thank you

When she said that women have an identity crisis. I really felt that as a teen. I thought I might be lesbian. Thank God I never acted on anything. I’m happily married, and neither my husband or I are ever tempted to watch porn anymore

9 years ago our Lord unchained me from pornography. I am a woman.

38:00 "Lust did not attack you because you can't love. Lust attacked you because your love can change the world." Whoa!

I think women who struggle with lust is kept more hidden or underground especially as a Catholic woman. After watching this I am aware of the different ways I too have sinned. Thank you Rachel, please continue because society is not addressing how women struggle with this.

Haven’t watched this yet but what a round of applause this woman deserves for being so bold and transparent on a subject surrounded by such profound shame. U rock

I thank The Lord I was never addicted to porn or found it appeasing. My heart goes out to everyone who is addicted or over coming their addiction. You're in my prayers ❤

My first reaction to this wax, "FINALLY" Thank you for this. She is a beautiful soul. I too have struggled with pronography being a woman. For over a decade and a half. Was addicted around 8th grade. Her suggestion on creating your own monstrance was absolutely beautiful. As a place to go when tempted, I plan on just, once having created my own mental monstrance, plan on placing the monstance in my favorite painting by Moné. Quite excited. Back in middle school, we had to use pastels to draw the same image. Once everyone finished, I looked at everyone else's and it was embarrasing for me because people kept asking whose painting was mine due to how well it was compared to the image we were imitating in art. I had to keep saying it was mine. It stood out the most. I still have it somewhere. My guardian Angel tried to help with my fight from lust on 2 occasions in the last 6 months of 2020. Also I had quite an experience in the confessional regarding confessing this sin back on January 8th earlier this year. I am a little over 6 months clean from visual porn! Thank you Jesus!

As a woman who struggled with pornography from the age of early elementary. I want to say thank you Matt. I have been porn free for about 3 years now finally went into confession after watching so many of your Videos on RU-vid. Thank you for hosting this lovely woman who speaks truth. I can honestly say you channel changed my life along side The Holy Rosary.

"You are a powerhouse of love and that's why lust attacked you". Amazing truth. The struggle is real. Please pray for more women who feel called to speak about this sin and the healing process.

Powerful!

Thank you so much for this important issue. Although I have been 'clean' from pornography for several years I have not healed from the damage done. Instead, I have chosen to not seek relationships for the last 20 years, feeling like I am too damaged. Now I am motivated to seek healing. Thank you again and God bless you.

I'm a man, but I remember an adoration during college that was the beginning of the end for my struggle with porn. The Eucharist is VERY powerful. Theology of the Body was the nail in the coffin of the old self.

“I’m not crying, you’re crying,” was exactly what I thought before Matt said it after that one quote 😂

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!! Such a good topic and a fundamental part of my story and seeing the redemption that is in Christ!

1:25:04 - 1:25:19 "Hypocrisy doesn't mean failing to live up to your own standards... A hypocrite is somebody who demands something from everyone else that he doesn't demand for himself." Truth!

This is SO powerful!! Magdala Ministries has been such a huge blessing in my life recently. Praise be to God for your YES

I confessed looking at pornography to a priest once and his reaction was, "Women do that??" I was mortified. I agree that that mentality makes women feel like they're men. It's awful.

I was delighted to meet Rachael in an airport recently! Praise God for her humble courage to share her testimony. May the Lord bless her good work in helping others find freedom and chastity!

You are not attacked by lust because you cannot love, you are attacked by lust because your love is meant to change the world. This line almost had me in tears. Thank you!!!!!

Thank you for this video! I have always felt like people didn't notice that women can struggle with porn and chastity too.

Her saying how it was anger that was a major contributing factor to the obsessive behaviour was very striking. To realise its real human problems like anger that cause corruption and not exposure to corruption itself, gives back the power to the individual, freed from the shame. The struggle is real.

Rachael, I was on my way out the door (left my laptop on, playing) and when I heard you quote your professor's response to you feeling like you weren't good enough...I put my purse down and jumped on my keyboard. I was told that I was Methodist as a child but we never went to church. My life has been..an adventure I'll just say. I felt compelled to learn more about the Catholic faith when I got out of jail 3 years ago and started listening to Dr. Marshall's pod casts. I need to convert. I'm compelled to. I just have to take the first step, which I know with most things is the hardest part. I've battled addiction, sexual abuse, and have commited a mortal sin. I know a little bit about the "not good enough" feeling and when I heard you say that...it was life changing. I felt the Holy Spirit in 2001. I burned all my books that were occultish or were I got in the shower and felt like I was being washed with the most beautiful golden rays of sunshine. Then I started getting visions of buildings falling and felt the need to work in emergency services of some kind. Strong enough for me to change jobs to a psychiatric crisis walk in center. I told my boss and my therapist about all this and went back to ask them to confirm for me that I really did tell them this after 9/11 happened. For a while, I was able to sense the balance between good vs evil in the world at any given moment. Since then My life struggles have increased a million fold. Having you describe your struggle as an attack orchestrated because you were a powerful child of God gave me such an amazing perspective shift. I've had people tell me that they see something dark attached to me. I've had many people that don't know anything about me come up as a stranger and ask me if they may pray over me. Please excuse this long post. I felt I needed to share this with you. Please pray for me to initiate my conversion beyond RU-vid lol. Thank you, both of you. I enjoy this channel so much.

Seeing this talk, man, you don't know but I am in tears and it's just been 20 minutes of the talk. Nobody talks about this, this is the literal second time I see a woman talk about this and it's been years. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

As a man still wrestling with this vice, this has been one of the most powerful personal accounts I've ever heard. Thank you and glory to Jesus Christ

Greetings from a Mexican viewer. Your content is great.

Watching from México. You just made me cry with this. Thank you guys for the honest and powerful conversation. They are really helpful. In regards to the question of being ready or not being for a relationship, I remember as a young boy, maybe 22, I asked God in secret if it was ok to have a certain girlfriend with a girl I was dating. So one day I went to this catholic talk, it was about something else entirely, nothing to do with romantic relationships at all, but somehow the guy giving the talk, turns around elevates his voice, and literally says: "You are not prepared for that kind of relationship" I always thought to this day God was answering my question, through him.

Absolutely amazing love that line. Lust did not attack because you can't love, lust attacked you because you are meant to change the world.

Incredible conversation. Just beautiful. Thank you so much!

Just, thank you. Glory to Jesus Christ.

Brave young woman, she is helping thousands of people with her story, thank you

This episode was necessary. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

What an incredibly blessed young woman. Thank God she was able to understand why she needed to gain victory over this. What a wonderful happy ending.

Heard her speak for a theology on tap meeting at my parish in March!!! So amazing that she is on this platform and more people get to hear her testimony!!!💗

In love with Pints w/ Aquinas! Keep up the amazing content, much love and prayers to you and your beautiful wife for the work you guys are putting out! Love from Bahrain 🌱

As a woman I struggle with lust, and pornography is a big problem I have notice the part of me that's most affected are my dreams, I keep having these sexual dreams with people I feel attracted to. Please pray for me.

This episode changed my life. Thank you ♥️

This is excellent. God Bless you both and all who hear and meaningfully share this.

Went to confession and guess what was in the confessional...it was a STRIVE card! ALL the way here in Corpus Christi, TEXAS. These priest are really paying attention. Thanks for your diverse ministry Matt...all for the Glory of GOD! PAX

what a beautiful live saving ministry! may this magdala ministry continue to break the chains of sexual addiction and set souls free to love and change the world! a great pints with aquinas episode.

Thank you for this Matt! And thank you to Rachael!

Fantastic! You both are great in dialogue on this "unspoken" topic. Great advise using scripture, Aquinas and Chesterton. Glad you highlight the Sacraments in recovery and renewal too. Bravo!

Thank you for defining this! Just because it's not visual doesn't mean it's not porn! Women have been reading "romance " novels forever and thinking it's romantic and not pornographic.

Rachael, thank you so much for your honest testimony. We were little kids, maybe 5 when we were exposed to a friend's father's porn. We were told that this is what being an adult meant. I had my first confession at 6, in preparation for my first communion also at 6. The sister who prepared us for confession, went through each commandment one by one, and we got to "thou shall not commit adultery," she said, "You cannot do this." So she skipped that commandment. I thought for sure it meant dressing in your Mom's clothes or acting like an adult. When I had my first confession at 6, I told Father that I committed adultery 85 times. He must have fallen off his chair. I thought it meant acting like an adult.

This is great, love this interview and this channel. Thank you.

Bravery in our times is fighting what she’s fighting. So happy for her!!

I have so much to say on this and my personal struggles and wish I had someone to talk to. So glad I found this channel and Victory

Great conversation, hits right on the mark.

I struggle with a different sin BUT the TRUTH of your words spoke into it just as clear and decisive and full of love Thank you!!

Started watching by accident and just fell in love with her mindset and the awesome Catholic solutions to overcoming sin. More people need to hear this.

Love having these talks with WOMEN! Keep them coming, very helpful.

Lord please deliver me from lust and pornography 😭 Thank You Jesus 😭🙏

Thank you for this. It is very isolating in this struggle and when I have reached out I was ignored. Can’t trust my family because they’re very toxically judgmental but there was one person that I told and I wish I could talk to her. She was loving and opened up on her past struggles

Thank you for talking to such a fascinating array of people. God bless you,her and both of your work.

You are so right on the reading part , now that I think of my youth and reading novels , that was fir me the start. Thank goodness discovered later in life and stopped. Now I’m devoted to My faith , no more putting myself in that road. Thank God!

Kudos. "It is finished" made me cry

I'm such a fan of this channel. My prayers are with you always, love and greetings from the Philippines

I think what broke my addiction is realizing that my true desire was self-transcendence. I watched porn because i longed to have that bond with a woman- equal parts emotional, physical and spiritual. That bond of love that reflects on and strengthens my relationship with Christ. Porn could never give me that. Not only that, but the type of woman who would do sex work could never give me that. I just no longer have an appetite for it anymore after those realizations fully sank in. God delivered me from it. ☦️

This was a fantastic conversation. Thanks MF & RK

Hi Rachael! I just finished up several years working for Young Life and am now doing something else. Praying and moving toward being Catholic. Thanks for sharing you story.

So happy to hear two people feel the same way I do. Keep up the great work. God speed

Appreciated listening to the part I’ve watched so far. Lots to think about. Thank you.

43:25 When Matt tells people to just shut up, you know it’s going to be a good episode 👍

She’s brave for speaking out. I really never think about women struggling with this since porn is not something I’ve ever come into contact with. You typically think of men becoming addicted. Just goes to show that the devil goes far and wide to hurt people. God bless Rachael and everyone struggling!

Everything you both have talked about as to the feelings during and what you have to do to stop is exactly the same as stopping drug use. EXACTLY!!!

I feel her on the romance novels. I inherited my mom's love of books and she's always had a lot of romance novels. Ironically she must have known how dangerous raunchy ones could be to her because she got rid of them. Wattpad, fanfics and provocative asmr videos are consumed heavily by girls in my age bracket(myself included unfortunately).

48:19 Thank you so so so much for bringing up Rom-Coms! I've talked with friends and colleagues about their similarity and connection to pornography and I rarely find anyone seeing it that way!!

I lived some of this, but I found it really easy to drop reading pornographic fanfiction when I met my husband and was able to leave a toxic home situation. Feeling like I had hope and support and love made a huge difference.

Amazing interview! Thank you.

Great interview . Americans are so good at openly discussing awkward topics . We are useless at talking about awkward topics here in Ireland 😂.

When she said fanfiction i just....such a sobering thought. I got to do some purging. On a lighter note the ghost and the red lizard inspired me to paint a painting.

Thank you for this. Definitely something that I have struggled with off and on, particularly the BDSM genre. Men may deal with this specific temptation more than women, but many women absolutely struggle with this.

She is so humble and inspiring. Thanks from France. You American catholics are very impressive !

Wonderful discussion!

Forget all the crazy that's going on in the world. THIS is what women's liberation looks like.

Great video. Wonderful testimony. 👏👏👏

God bless her, God love PWA. Your channel is saving lives,Matt.

Its so good as a man to see women talking about this because men feel shame about how porn changed our minds. We all struggle the same , nobody is merely a “ creep”

Thank you thank you thank you thank you. You have no idea how much this episode helped.

Just watching this! Great interview! The Great Divorce and Till We Have Faces are my favorite C.S. Lewis Books too!

so much wisdom. thank you Rachael and Matt.

Thank you PWA for this episode! This has me convinced that I must read the Great Divorce, simply from the snippets of conversation about it here. Also, as someone in her mid-twenties trying to own up and beef up my previously feelbe/nonexistant struggles against porn, THANK YOU. May God Bless you both and this channel abundantly!

Sisteen minutes in and I love her honesty! Beautiful!

1:42:35 - 1:44:56 Great answer! Tobit 8:7 is worth reflecting on, invitation of prayer to the marriage bed.

I kept mine hidden because people either judge or seem to get off on it. I'm proud of this lady for speaking up

Thank you for sharing your story Rachael. As Bishop Barron says "sin/addiction cannot be played around with, we have to hack it to pieces like the Amlekite archetype." If an alcoholic told his sponsor 'Im doing great, I only drink 3 days a week' or If I came home and said to my Mrs "I love you honey which is why I'm faithful to you 98% of the time." - it would not go down well.

I love how easy it is to be Catholic and live your faith in the states, you can go to Catholic college and be amongst like minded people and have lovely Catholic communities. In Ireland it’s so hard to do that now. I would even say people want it out of the country completely now, it’s very difficult. What a fantastic interview thank you

36:45 is reminiscent of St. Mary of Egypt. The woman who loved so much. Thank you for this conversation.

There is something very inspiring yet terrifying in someone laying their sins bare for others to learn how they overcame them. Props to this girl.

So I finished it and I just have words of gratitude. You know, the anonymity you can generate on the internet has been a way for women to speak of it since they can disassociate from the persona who bears this situation of watching porn, you don't have to bear the shame of it knowing it is not you who faces the masses. It has given way to a community that talks about the issue to an extent but it is still such a small amount of women who know it as sin. In most cases you find them saying "oh, this is normal" "everyone does it", so finding someone that supports you in the battle against this sin is extremely difficult to do on the internet. Women are mostly alone in this issue so thank you, thank you and thank you again to both for sharing this.

Amazing interview. I started crying after hearing the line "Lust did not attack you because you can't love. Lust attacked you because your love is meant to change the world" Thanks Matt and Rachael.

God bless you, Rachael. Your love is changing the world.

I'm from an All girls Catholic school here in the Philippines and I got into fanfic too in Highschool because of all the shipping and pop culture. Harry Potter fanfics were popular in my friend group and a lot were boy x boy character couples like Draco and Harry or Snape and Lucius etc. It seemed so innocent but the rebellious feeling it gave along with having friends to like it too made it fun. I never really thought it was bad until I got to college and was now listening to audio, watching anime and manga/comics that was more explicit, mostly male x male couples. The genre has become so popular that there are even events/ conventions for "boys love" comics and anime. kpop boy groups also perpetuate this through skinship with other members of their boy group. It's packaged as innocent because they're drawings or fictional characters or stories. The line is blurring so more young girls fall into it and maybe parents are non the wiser. They all think that it's harmless. I've finally gotten out of it but since it is an obsession or addiction, I still fall into it sometimes. Prayer and fasting from it has helped me a lot. I only consumed Christian videos and media during Lent last year so that broke the cycle. I try to discourage my friends who still are into it but they're into it deep and are not yoked in Christ to care to stop. Please pray for our young girls for grace to wake up from the addiction.

Powerful testimony!

Dear Matt, because you're so good at what you do, could you please bring someone to talk about single motherhood/parenthood in the catholic community? Thanks in advance😁 God bless❤❤

Love the finger rosary--thinking of getting one myself. Where'd you get yours? Good conversation btw. You both are great.

(From my husband’s account) I have a similar story. I was chained to porn from the age of 11 to 19. I don’t think I’ve ever told any of my female friends.

Appreciate your content so much. Great video! 10/10

38:00 And the angels rejoiced when she spoke these words.