You’re a Case Study on Why We Tell People Not To Do This 

This girl doesn't need to be told "how the math works"!!! She knows EXACTLY how the math works!!! She's got HALF the mortgage payment and ALL of the...house!!

He needs to live in the house also. She's not feeling any pressure to sell because she's the one benefiting from all of this. I understand that it would be awkward, but I guarantee she'll think about it more if he was living in the same house as she is.

Rule #1: don't shack up. Rule #2: don't put your name on ANY loans with somebody you're not married to.

I bought a house with my girlfriend in December 2018. She broke up with me in 2020 (sucky year) and moved out. Then a few months later, she signed a quit claim deed. The mortgage was in my name since day one. Now it’s all mine. I’m aggressively paying down my mortgage and I’ve got about $200k equity. After a couple years of working her own plan and it failing, she wanted to come back. I genuinely feel bad for her sometimes but I never asked her to leave; she left by her own free will.

Interesting timing. I’m not saying that she’s scamming the caller out of half of a mortgage, I’m just saying that if she wanted to do that, she would do all the exact same things that she did.

Talking to her is not going to work. It hasn't worked and thats why he is on the phone. Get the legal process going through an attorney and get the house sold.

He paying half of her bills and she’s in there bouncing on Jerry smh

As a woman. My advice is to move back in. It’s your house too, bring girlfriends over make it as unpleasant as possible. Be messy, don’t flush the toilet. Be loud at 2am. Take the master bedroom because it isn’t you that ended the relationship. Unless you cheated then none of this applies.

She had some other guy lined up that she said was just a “friend” for awhile, he finally asked her out and now she’s with him. Guaranteed!!!

What a terrible person she is. She bought a house with her fiance, dumped him, still lives in the house, and doesn’t want to sell. That sounds like a horrible evil person.

If I'm paying, I'm staying.

As someone who went through this relatively recently, last 5 years or so, do yourself a favor and have the conversation sooner rather than later. You would be stunned how long somebody can drag out this process. My ex dragged it out for a good 2 years AND stopped paying! Which means I ended up paying both our portions, AND my new place, so as not to have a foreclosure on my credit history. By the time I finally got the ex out and could finally sell it, the house was so torn up that I had to rehab it before selling it. Talk to her TODAY. The conversation will be massively uncomfortable but believe me you will thank yourself later. For anyone who says I was stupid, save yourself the trouble, I already know I was. Trust me it was a larger than life learning experience!

For Me - I would have never moved out of the house and would get it listed ASAP. Accept a reasonable offer Quickly and be prepared to lose money on the deal. The trick is to get as far away from that girl as fast as possible. It is going to cost you one way or another. Hope this guy learned his lesson !!

I wish he’d call back in a month or so & give us an update.Dave, do some “ update shows”!

She’s cold hearted. Wants to keep him on a string for two years so she can live there on the cheap.

He’s getting played and yet all 3 of them are giving her the “bless her heart she just doesn’t understand the math…”. No, she knows exactly what she is doing.

Or she gets the house refinanced under just her name, he signs a quit claim deed and he walks away from the $2k. Walking away from the $2k will save him money.

She's staying because he's paying half the mortgage. Pretty good deal

She stayed with him until they signed for a house that he's still paying half for? She sounds like a scammer.

This was his own damn fault for getiting into this deal. Forget the heartbreak, the problem is the house. He has to set himself free at any cost.

Sorry to hear this Chris, wish you the best!

It needs to be explained to her that $2000 is more than she'll have if she fights the sale or you stop paying 1/2 the mortgage.

Lol she wants that house buddy. And you fell for it.

Stay strong brother

I work with people in financial difficulty in the uk and i see this ALL the time

She has no idea how a long-term fixed rate amortization schedule works. In the first few years, almost no equity is being built because the payments are going almost entirely to interest. 😅

I've been in his situation and was the same young age. The sooner the house is sold, the better for everyone.

ALWAYS blows my mind hearing cases of someone getting kicked out of the house due to divorce/breakup and they still continue to make payments for the person living in the house

Been there done that. Good luck my friend. Clear this up as fast as possible. You’re gonna take a hit but you will heal and life will get better.

I hope Chris records this and plays it all night and practices the speech with Dave's tone of voice. He's so wounded he might have trouble getting through it without getting emotional but like Dave says, he needs to remain calm and businesslike. I'm so sorry for him.

If all the details are correct, this girl is going to dig her heels in and make things even worse for herself. My ex did that during our divorce. The more she dug in, the worse it got for her.

He needs to move back in if he’s paying half of the mortgage while saving for the attorney fees. She won’t want to move if he’s still paying.

"Tell her you broke my heart and I have to get away from this." ... "And don't bring up the past." 😆

When/where do yall do these live shows?

I know I'm late, but he should speak to an attorney before speaking to her so he has an idea of how an attorney could help. The last thing he wants to do is threaten getting an attorney only to find out he can't get one to help.

You shouldn't have moved out until you were under contract with a buyer. SHE has a house to herself that you are paying half the cost of. I bet she would be ready to sell if her ex was her roommate.

This happened to a friend of mine. She started dating a married man with 3 kids, he worked for a big investment firm. She saw dollar signs and the guy saw a young fling. Ruined my friend's credit (they both stopped paying on the house and it went into foreclosure) and he lost money on the house.

Great advice on how to deal with it

He moved out but paying the mortgage?!!! Grow a pair man!!

If she doesn't wanna move, she needs to pay him out 1/2 of the equity and refinance the house mortgage into her name, which I'm guessing she cannot afford. Also, why in the hell is he paying half the mortgage on a house he doesn't live in?? This is pure nonsense.

Thanks for going back to the old intro music

She can buy you out also. Surprised they didn’t suggest that

Shoutout to the Ramsey team. They are def consistent about not getting yourself in this situation. All i can say is “Ouch!” That def look like it hurt 😬

This is financial abuse at its finest. Exactly why you guys preach this. He needs to charge her a "lease-back" of 1/2 the mortgage and PITI for every month he has not been living there, and for every month until sold, if at least from the closing costs. She doesn't actually deserve the $2000 profit to be honest. She's getting 50% off of housing as incentivized by breaking up with this dude!

She knows exactly what she’s doing. Gets a cheap place to live while she’s free now to date whoever she wants.

RIP chris. You simped out and let her stay in the house. Man up and sue her. Shes not leaving wake up. Let this be a lesson learned for all men. Men need to protect themselves against women like this

That’s is a pretty severe kick to the nuts to date five years be engaged have it broke off and then be paying half the mortgage while not living in the house. Hope it all works out for this guy.

We call it a suite for separation and is expensive but may be his only option.

This is a general partnership, so a Judge can force the sale of the house to dissolve the partnership. The house is already sold, she just hasn't admitted it yet

You just gotta protect yourself in all situations

This is the ultimate nightmare scenario !! One possibility, albeit extremely undesirable, is to offer to pay her off, maybe $5K or so, upon successful sale of the house.

I made this mistake. Fortunately, my ex agreed to sell her half to me in exchange for a stack of cash. It was worth it. I've learned my lesson.

Same thing my wife was trying to do the moment she wanted out lol needless to say the house was sold.

I love Dave Ramsey

What kind of recourse is there though? He can stop paying his half and they both take the hit if she can’t cover the other half?

The realtor is BS'ing them saying theyll get back only $4k. Theyre not getting back anything. They will have to pay like 5-10% out of pocket to sell at all. After paying the realtor's 6% and closing costs theyre down by like 8%, assuming flat market, which is a generous assumption.

5y from now she’ll still b living there and he will still b paying half

He can sign a listing agreement without her, the yard sign and buyers coming by may help put on the pressure. Given his emotional state, let the agent or a third party talk--not him.

That's where I lucked out with my ex. I had proof I was the only one paying the mortgage so when she dumped me I was able to tell her to get out.

There's no way i move out if I'm still paying. She's going to have a roommate until she agrees to move out

Forget the conversation, they already had it. She said no and asked for two years, so the conversation is over. Hire a lawyer to give her two options: Put the house on the market or arrange a buy out. These are straightforward business transactions that may happen immediately.

Why is it that in these situations where both parties own 50% of the house each the man always vacates the house and the woman continues to live there?

Yeah, the speed with which she broke up with him after they bought the house? Looks like she used him to buy a house she wouldn’t have been able to buy on her own and is strong arming him to keep it by just staying. She’s not as bright as she thinks, but cheaters never are.

"Why can't I find a good man?!" Because you ladies keep doing stuff like this.

She found herself a sucker. She'll call the cops hire a attorney.

I'm willing to bet she'll be moving her new boyfriend in the house soon if she already hasn't. No one leaves what they have unless they find something they think is better. Selling the house isn't about breaking even, it's about getting yourself financially separated from someone you are no longer with. He'll be on the hook for that mortgage for the next 15-30 years when she eventually defaults on the payments.

The other option is for her to buy him out. ... not that she's going to have or get a loan for half the house value when she's worried about only getting 2k back.

She wants to stay in the house, buy only pay half the mortgage? Screw that. She intends to stay there as long as she gets away with it. Only making $2k from a sale is a lot better than paying for an attorney when the guy has to drag this through the court. She'll pay far more than $2k for litigation.

Yeah i wouldn't be moving out of anything that im currently paying for.

Or She could refinance and buy out his share. Give her the choice. Buy me out or I get an attorney to force sale. He needs to be the one to list the property. ASAP She could easily sabotage the sale. Keeping it on the market indefinitely while he continues to pay half. I'd write the payback into the listing contract and advise the closing company of same. Tell her upfront if you don't agree to this I'm moving back in until the property closes. She could walk away from the closing oweing him money. If she knows it's no longer free assistance she'll expedite the sale.

What might have happened is that he got caught cheating. I dunno. But he seems very humbled by this all. If he didn't cheat or wrong her, he needs to get rid of the house.

This can happen even if married. My sister in New Zealand left her husband after 25 years of marriage and he stayed up in the house and spun the divorce settlement out until they went to court last December and the Judge was fed up with him. Constant delaying and evasion tactics,he lied to the previous Judge about putting the house on the market over a year ago, sent emails to Real Estate agents falsely copying her in saying they were delaying the sale etc. Forced her to take him to court again and tried to claim the court costs off her. In December she got an affidavit together showing his lies in the court and to her and her lawyers. And finally he got the trouble he deserved. This woman sounds very manipulativeShe's having a field day on their shared house. I hope he gets her out quickly.

This happened to my son & he took on a roommate

He’s thinking with his heart and she’s banking on it. Follow what Dave has advised.

Poor guy. My son is 25 with a girlfriend, and I won't let him buy a house yet. I said if you do it's in your name only or married first.

when i got divorced I got the house. I also got the debt that was associated with it. the total debt was about 2 times the value of the house. I paid it all off. once it was all paid he signed a quit claim and I made a will making our children the heirs.

With all due respect, and I do agree he has to speak to her in person + let her know he’ll have to take legal action if she does not comply, saying what was recommended EVEN CALMLY could easily be viewed as a threat. We do not need this young man to be under a DV restraining order on top of all this. If he can NOT say that it’s going to get ugly/nasty, and he ends up taking legal action then any decent judge is going to order her to comply. I also wonder why she has to put the house on the market? If she can then HE can, is that right? He can present her with a proposal to buy him out. She won’t do that but then he will have that proof.

Why is he paying half the mortgage if he doesn’t live there?

Whats the difference between married or defacto Sell the house and split the costs thats it Go to court and get it legally done end of whether youre married or not Its the same

But if she will not listen to reason, hiring an attorney for a partition sale will likely put them well underwater. That quickly, I am not sure how they would walk away with ANY proceeds (even 2k apiece) after closing costs. Most areas of the country real estate values are pretty static, and certainly not appreciating enough to cover commission, title charges, tax credits, et al quickly. Nasty does not come cheap. So that is not in his best interests either. They DO need to figure it out on their own. It does probably make sense to hold onto the property for a certain level of appreciation though. In that case she needs to fully pay the mortgage if she is living there on her own. THAT is what I would discuss. Not trying to force a sale and loss.

he gave you an answer its a business transaction now. get it done- she gets out

Five years of dating but he didn’t propose. Yet he bought a house and MOST likely they mixed other income. Does she work? I agree… cut losses

They got together when she was 22 what’s you expect?? You don’t go long term with someone that’s 22, go for 25+ for a better chance.

He meant capital gains tax, not income tax

How much equity could be in this house they lived in for seven months? She can't expect to get much.

If "we" get rid of the house, where will her boyfriend go?

He needs the letter today!

He got scammed. Rough.

They don’t have to sell anything. She can agree to have it financed in her name only. She doesn’t want to do it because he is paying for half the house she is living in for nothing. The guy needs to just go get a lawyer and get his name of and out of it.

Force a partition sale. Do it. Get a lawyer today. Easy peasy.

Together for 5 years. Get engaged. Buy a house. 7 months later break up? I want to know why they broke up. What happened? This is just about money and a house, this is essentially a broke marriage and Dave should have asked why did the relationship end.

How selfish from her to have him wait for the equity to go up on the house while he’s paying half of the mortgage and not living there. Goodness grace, he dodged a bulled there imo. He should force her to sell or have her pay the full mortgage if she really wants to wait.

I would just tell her that you’re gonna list your half of the house for rent, if she doesn’t sell it.

Whos name is the house in ?

So wait...she's only going to get $2k back in profit if they sell?? So sounds like she put next to nothing into the deal in the first place. This guy should KEEP his house and just buy her out. Buy her out. Buy her out. Buy her out.

He should have stayed in the house until they sold

She can put the house on the market, but as long as she is living there, she can (and will) sabotage the sale.

Is the new boyfriend now living in the house? And her kids?

She needs to be paying him rent. Preferably his half of the mortgage!!

I'm wondering how much they bought the house for.. long partnetships are questionable.