JONNY -- It's a classic process of spiritual and mental self-discovery that you are describing here. If they OUR thoughts, can we just OBSERVE and ACCEPT them -- but without necessarily believing them to be true. Yes, we have a choice. For example, I teach a great course called "Choosing Self-Love." We are free to make choices -- this is the key to spiritual growth. You have to really WANT it and CHOOSE it in each moment. (But that's too much freedom and responsibility for most people.) As a sensitive gay American literary guy (former college English teacher), I love Walt Whitman -- so thanks for quoting him. OKAY -- here's a biggie that I haven't read or heard anywhere, but discovered it inside myself. Our challenge is to get so balanced and flowing that our upper three chakras (crown, third eye and throat) merge continuously with the lower three chakras -- and they meet in the HEART. And boy, when they do, I feel like my chest is gonna bust open. The upper three chakras are lighter faster energies, the lower three are thick and grounded. But all are needed -- and the Holy Grail is to get them balanced and merging so we can live from our hearts. Simple, but not easy. Those yellow post-its look really cute on your forehead. What a soul! -- LOVE, Donald in Cardiff
Such good advice to not identify yourself with your thoughts. A few months ago I had really bad anxiety, social phobia and all sorts of unpleasantries, they seem to come out of nowhere. It was the worst when I was in a larger group of people, not being able to focus on a single conversation, almost like hard of hearing sometimes, palpitation, confusion, being overly sensitive to everything. Next to that my own thoughts, which were mainly self destructive were crippling me, so that I felt weaker by the minute. As if someone was scraping all the good out of me until a shell of my former self remained. Most conversations held seemed so fake and superficial. On the inside I was screaming why no one gives a bloody fuck about anything. When talking to someone singular I was avoiding any eye contact as I thought they will be able to tell how bad I feel, keeping up a brave face. In general I was trying to keep to myself as to my negative energy,which I didn't want to rub onto others. Horrible! Living through that time very observantly and trying to be as compassionate with myself as possible, also having the support of wonderful people, I learnt that for my part it was all due to 1.being to hard on myself, pushing myself too much, being too critical which then resulted in doing so with others and fearing they will do so brutally with me too. I created a horrible scenario based around fear of judgement. a friend of mine once said which seems true: don't worry about judgment from others, people are preoccupied with their own problems and thoughts most of the time anyway.when I focus on that and look around it seems very truthful. everyone of us is trying their best 2.this sounds a bit crazy but I can now say that all those fears grew so large because I wasn't on the right path, I was trying to be someone I am not and/or trying to go somewhere which is not the way for me. Which is why so many encounters seemed a bit fake and nothing seemed to go smoothly. Like driving a car in the nighttime with broken lights, constantly having to change gears, pressing the accelerator but not moving forward properly.. aaah just so uncomfortable all the time mostly. So now I know these were warning signs which I definitely could not run away from. I cannot make myself into someone I'm not. Everyone needs to find and live their own truth and be proud of who they are. This is what I try to do in everything, which isn't always easy. It's so great to see though that other people seem to be doing this too. My love goes to each and everyone of you. We wouldn't be us if everything were easy, right? ;)
Sharula Caha What a beautiful heart you have, i've just seen your message on my other video. I hope the people around you realise how lucky they are to have you in their lives. Your wisdom and your love are examples for us all :) keep strong Sharula
I wish I had something more thought provoking and intelligent to write. Having just discovered that mental health is more represented on YT than I first gave the site credit for, your channel stood out as one of the most prominent. I just wanted to thank you for everything you've chosen to share and I intend to think on everything you've spoken about here.
The way in which you deal with the black clouds in your blue sky is simply exemplary. I had to wait over 12 months on the NHS waiting list for psychotherapy, so I can appreciate the valuable advice you are sharing. There wasn't a lot of people talking about mental health at that point, which I believe would've been so beneficial. So to all of those people that are feeling lost, frightened, not enough, you are all truly beautiful human beings and you are fruits of the earth! Thank you, Jonny for being so deeply honest about your life. You are helping so many people around the world. The world is full of people - good and bad, yet you are incredibly selfless, kind, thoughtful, empathetic, intelligent and an all-round beautiful soul with nothing but purity and goodness within you. It warms my soul to share the world with such a person. The person that you will spend the rest of your life with is so fantastically blessed and they don't even know it yet! Good vibes and best wishes, Claire.
Clairabelle Adams Thanks Claire, what a beautiful message, i'm so touched by it. I'm sorry you had to wait so long for psychotherapy. My wish is that you are now feeling better from having it. I hope that is the case. Check out mindfulness, particularly an audiobook called Mindfulness For Beginners...this helped me a lot when i was really struggling and i have a feeling you will really benefit from it and it could very well speak to you. Thanks again Claire, you have a very special heart. Jonny
Thank you for your kind reply, Jonny. I completed my treatment in around 3 months, surprisingly. I found it a very successful road to have gone down. I still get desperate on certain days, needing something to inspire my mind to uncover the motivational latch to unlock my drive. I do find that motivational audios have an empowering effect on my state of mind, so I shall consider Mindfulness For Beginners (thanks). I have made my peace with PTSD after such a lengthy relationship with it. There is absolutely nothing weak about suffering at the callous grip of mental illness, because it's an endurance that will cast you with iron after the demons have been fought. You have been so, so brave. Such a role model for the world. Continue to move in loving inspiring ways and always remember that you're a rarity of the best kind. You're kindness will be cherished.
I like very much the Whitman quote 'I am large, I contain multitudes'. So simple and revelatory when put in this context of discussing one's thoughts and the concept of the self. Thank you for sharing this.
Didn't realise how much I needed to hear this until I listened. I'm very much in my head most of the time. Paranoia is quite high and I lose my ability to read body language properly. The slightest, most minuscule change in body language and I read it as people not wanting me around or that I'm bad. I know it's irrational but at the same time it feels like I'm seeing the truth too. Being reminded that there's something good beyond that (the heart), that I'm not just this hot mess of thoughts..that I can't just think right.. - reminding that I am more than my thoughts, really touched my heart. In the bittersweet hopeful-painful way these messages do. Thank you so much for sharing the way you do.
This was just brilliant. You've perfectly captured the heart of the matter - that we give our thoughts such power, when they really are just thoughts. I want you to know you gave me something very useful with this today. Thank you.
Your videos always make me cry but smile. It's good to see you taking control even though you're going through a difficult time right now. Yeah Hollywood movies aren't the best for when you're feeling out of it somewhat. I think they make everybody feel inadequate, lol I'm definitely going to show my Daughter this one. She is having a rough time right now. This will help her so much. Thank you Jonny P.S your documentary was brilliant :-) x
Good on you mate. You are obviously seeking answers and ways to deal with and go beyond limiting thoughts, applying the wisdom and techniques that you are finding, and integrating them in such a way that you can pass on what you're learning to others to help them in their quest for peace and clarity of mind. And in turn, when we 'teach' or inform others, we are reinforcing that knowledge and experience for ourselves - win win :) The breath is one of the most powerful things to focus on - it is of course the source of life for our spirit/consciousness to remain in our body - and to focus on the breath as if it is directly nourishing the heart with life and love and presence, is a very powerful yet simple technique to use any time: during the storms of mental/emotional confusion, or the times of sunshine, clear sky and calm. The world is blessed that you are continuing to choose staying with us, thank you - you are making a positive difference to others as much as you are to yourself, just by being yourself. Bless you.
youejtube thank-you so much. You are right about the breath. I sometimes forget to breathe but when i tune into it i remember that i am present and grounded and not out of control. It's such a powerful force.
I suffer from severe pure O and conversion disorder.I really can under how it feels. Intrusive thoughts about the things that normal people wouldn't get, intrusive thoughts about intrusive thoughts, feeling highly negative and guilty ,fear of the next moment don't know what thought will strike.In short it's muxh more than terrible. letting them go is a constant struggle
I had no idea other people experienced the exact same things I did. I think it was a deluded thought I clung to in an attempt to exile myself from humanity. Like you, I struggle with needing other people to like me (especially in a group I am currently active in) but I think I have always tried to convince myself it didn't matter, that being eccentric and abrasive was who I am and not another mask I wore to keep people at a distance while simultaneously craving acceptance and adoration. The scariest thing is that I have been this way since childhood. I am so glad to share this experience with someone as compassionate and giving as you. My doctor wants to put me on mood stabilizers/anti-psychotics if this last drug does not pan out...please let me know how CBT has worked for you so far as it may be my only escape from the "hard drugs" that I fear so much...
May Mahew I know it's scary, i understand your concern. I'm back on anti-psychotics as i was becoming unwell. I wish i didn't have to be on them but I need to get better and that becamethe only way. CBT has helped stop and change my spiraling/negative thoughts. I would really recommend it. Doesn't work for everyone but has really helped things like paranoia.
What you said about the intrusive thoughts being like Tourette's, it made so much sense. I often feel thoughts which seem to pop into my head just to upset me, and when I realised that I didn't really think that, I was just recycling something I had heard someone say which I thought was horrid, that helped. Thank you x
Some thoughts are really disturbing and very challenging to deal with aren't they-you're not alone in what you experience. I wish we could all be more open about we went through-i don't think people would suffer half as much if we did.
It's hard to explain without risking someone thinking "ah, she believes the thoughts she has". I saw a programme featuring a man with Tourette's and he kept saying a racial epithet, and looked so sad and ashamed each time, because he didn't really think that way. He said that was the worst tick he had and I felt a pang of empathy that I wish he could have felt too, but I can keep it hidden and he can't and I wish I could mind-hug him!
This may be an old video and I genuinely hope you're doing ok these days but I really am thankful I found this video and your other on violent thoughts your words gave me something I needed right now more than anything I feel like I can keep trying. Thank you.
I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder depressive type, P.T.S.D., and an anxiety disorder. So I know a little something about troubling thoughts. A lot of what you talk about I've experienced first hand. You're right thoughts are just thoughts. There is no need to let them control your life.
Yeah, i've been getting very horrible intrusive, murderous and sexual thoughts towards everyone and anyone. it's so horrible. Thought I had dealt with these years ago. Horrific images in my mind that really unsettle and haunt me. My psychologist says not to get caught up in these thoughts and let them come and go, not to fight them away, acting as the 'impartial spectator', do not judge yourself upon what goes through your mind. That's the mistake i do. If I was evil, i would enjoy those thoughts, instead, they play upon everything i hold as moral and sincere and press my buttons. When they come I have to hide away and it takes a long time to get the confidence to return to 'normal'. I have a dual diagnosis of OCD on top of schizophrenia. your videos help Jonny, wish there was more like you out there, with the strength to stand up and honestly about mental illness. Thanks for the video it helped.
I'm sorry you have to experience such thoughts. Do you practice much mindfulness or yoga? I find that when i'm doing a lot of mindfulness meditation for example, the thoughts don't have such an effect on me. I can focus on my body more. Do you think you could try and practice such techniques and see if they make a difference?
I certainly benefit from meditation when i can do it. Focus on the breath and clear the mind. Sports helps a lot. Am feeling a lot better the last few days. thank you for your reply. Yoga is very good, i used to do it, but these days, i dont seem to have the motivation for it. All the best. Denny
I am so glad I found your channel and this video is so true to my life. The struggles with delusions and the myriad of emotions and thoughts as you mentioned and how you are dealing with this. This video was very uplifting to help me in my battle as well.
powerful, eye-opening video. i struggle with anxiety & it seems to have gotten worse over time. but this video really helps and inspires me :) thank you so much, you amazing human!
Anxiety is so tough isn't it...i hope you're getting help and support for it. Don't go it alone. It's no different to something like diabetes..the brain is still an organ remember. Keep strong :)
You're a beautiful person. Watched many of your videos and you relate so well to how I feel. Your comments about love in this video describe so well the obsessive (and tragic) thoughts which have dominated my live for a year and more. Stay strong. I do believe you'll win through x
thanx, jonny!!you're an excellent person & for that you deserve a lot!!the only we must do, is clearing our minds of the negative thoughts through our hearts and passion for life!!much love, bro!!
I am happy that i ran into this video, while searching "digestive disorders", on which you had a video. Your presentation impressed me in both these videos, and I got a vibe that you are a good soul despite all the troubles. So, i wanted to give my 2cents, to all those who might be reading the comments section. 1. Know that certain medications (eg. painkillers) can interfere with nervous system, and trigger all these symptoms that are associated with mental disorders. Doctors would mis diagnose you, when they do not pay serious attention to all the meds you are taking. So, a good starting point is to double check the side effects of all meds & supplements one is (was) taking. Sometimes, the side effect would be only listed as "lack of sleep/insomnia" or some such, which is actually relates to nervous system functioning. 2. All these concepts that you discuss in this video ("thoughts are NOT you", as well as some other subtle hints) was discovered and expounded by Buddha 2500 yrs ago. Modern neuro scientists are still trying to understand Bhudda's discoveries about mind. So, if one is seriously interested in fixing your mind/self, it would help to read Buddist scriptures where he discusses the mind, suffering, and how to solve the suffering (of mind). This is not for the faint hearted, since many of the concepts require hard analysis/focus/time, to understand. While reading the "suttas", use your own rational mind, absorb what you find as useful and discard the parts that you do not believe in - just like how you would eat the tasty part of a fruit and discard the nut. There is no need to reject and throw away the whole fruit. (I say this, because there will be many parts, where an undeveloped/unwise mind will not be able to understand or believe). This reading should also be supplemented with practice, which the Buddha called "development of the mind". Instead of using 4 words each time, modern english has translated "development of the mind" into one word called "meditation". No one in human history has analyzed and dissected the mind, to the depths that Buddha did - so we all stand to benefit from his wisdom. Enough said, for the benefit of many.......... May you all be peaceful.
seekingbuddha thanks for imparting your wisdom. I am interested in Buddhism and studying more about it at the moment. I've been meditating for a few years and know it's benefits. May you too be peaceful. Namaste.
Great video post. Thoughts are only invitations to actions--some we act upon because they are beneficial and move our lives forward others we can allow to pass through us without action. That helps me when I find myself in a rut, spinning with thoughts that are less than helpful. One amazing friend told me when she has those "ruts" she will purposefully, willfully, fill her head with funny, loving, joyful thoughts to drown out the negative ones and will eventually act out one of the positive ones. It sounds weird, but it works. Sometimes I will go into a Starbucks or coffee shop and pay for someone's drink or some kind of random act of kindness to get out of my head and flip the script.
Jonny when ever I came to your channel I thiught suicidal thoughts and sickness only happend to a couple of us. But now I know that it happens to all of us.
@Jonny Benjamin 1 This is why I feel that people who could benefit wildly by spirituality in these conditions! With spirituality you learn true facts, you make yourself intangible to harm from within, you learn to let go, you learn to accept your inner darkness, you learn so many valuable things that I feel Religion just can't teach anyone.
@Jonny Benjamin 1, I feel that if you were to take the time to learn Buddhism, Daoism, Zen, Hermitage, Mysticism, and Wicca, you might begin to understand your internal world a bit better and learn to shape things through visualization in order to help protect yourself internally. One of the many things I've learned over the years is invocation, which is the drawing up of power from within for the purposes of either protection or expectation (read about the Universal laws of like begets like) I have learned how to protect myself from 2 parts of my disease by using this. I have Fibromyalgia, and fibro comes with alot of baggage, it destroys your social life / romantic life, it also forces you to deal with horrible depression like a hyperdepression/hyperanxiety (physical symptoms).
@Jonny Benjamin 1 invocation can happen with repetition of song lyrics, poems, prayers to the divine (as spirituality has no totemic deities), anything really even just instrumental music! Invocation has been what fantasy has made folks think happens instantaneously for magic practicioners, but spirituality doesn't quite work like that. Invocing your own gifts brings a sense of stillness, peace, and strength, strength so powerful it helps through pain both physical and emotional at least it has done this for me. It requires a visualization process where you imagine a place of darkness not evil, just without light in the beginning, and slowly fireflies begin to form flowing up in a spiral to you on the outside, it builds and builds until you can feel the tingling positive sensation all over your body in the form of goosebumps. Most folks experience goosebumps when scared I'm just revealing that it's a defense mechanism, it's your spirit building energy for you to direct for protection/healing. I hope this helps!
@Jonny Benjamin 1 Last post about this. One of the things Spiritual people learn first, is that we are eternal beings of energy having a temporary human experience. When we die, we're not just visiting loved ones who passed before us, our ego dies, right now I'm both me and Culvea Solvere (not my true name) but when I die, Culvea Solvere will have gone. Only I will remain until I become someone/thing else. The thing about Me is I'm eternal whereas Culvea Solvere, the outward and current blending of me and my outside, is not eternal. I believe this and many other spiritual lessons will bring people strength and peace. I feel that once you build upon this knowledge, it should help you on your days where it become unbearable! I certainly hope it helps someone!
Thank you so much for sharing this Jonny, I'm really struggling with my thoughts right now and it meant so much to watch this, I could relate to everything you said just really wish I could control my own thoughts a bit better.
look back on how you used to look . this is what I see so much . A person beleive they are sick and they lose thier aura. they lose the beauty in them ares they are fighting against thier natural self . Look how beautiful you look here ,your inner self enhances it all. You had truth in you..life here . it's devastating to see. I wrote a long time ago on how it would go if you kept heing you are mentally I'll instead of seeing you are incredible . the pain would go . But yet you choose to beleive in sowmthing that making you worse just because you are afraid of seeing who you really are . look at this video and look at a recent one. It's unbelievable how much of the real beautiful person has gone..all because you choose to beleive there's something wrong with you ...a thought that got you here to start.
You sound like a soft hearted romantic person. I understand your struggle with that and being gay. I also think I understand your blushing. I have social phobia but I'm lucky enough to have been somewhat extroverted when it hit. I wasn't a blusher but I did find it difficult walking normally at high school for example, as I felt I was being watched. With all my heart I wish you meet the man of your dreams xx
Hello Jonny, I liked this video, very much. I saw it many times and I love to hear the idea that we are not our thoughts. more than thoughts, we are our heart, right? Also, I agree with the analogy with the sky and the clouds. It's a great visual description. Thank you, very much. Regards. I hope you are well. See you then.
Thank you very much for your videos, they are helping me a lot, I was diagnosed 10 years ago but have never found anyone with schizo-affective disorder until I found you-tube, I wanted to make contact with you, will write more soon, I am busy reading lots of videos, including yours. I wish all good things and health for you, keep up the videos!
I might be shizophrenic myself and that I admit that... well let's say I'm trying to question my delusions and I'm finally getting along with people their ideas and thoughts and take them less personally. I feel like a real teenager finally. And yeah, obsessions, you gotta think in reality for a second and see if you agree with it and if not, move along and yeah until you're ready to take it. Manipulate your thoughts and work with your mind, change a way of thinking and turn everything around. Make a plant become a tree.
Jonny, you and your videos are always a delight. Throwing away negative thoughts and living by the heart is a good policy - but how vulnerable and frightening is that? Or is that just a thought? Yours, frightened/confused, Shaun
Yes it is frightening. But the heart is stronger than the mind. Follow your heart always. Find moments of stillness and really listen to what your heart is saying. My heart feels full and joyful when i sit still, especially in nature. That's the true me. Not the messed up thoughts in my head.
That was incredibly difficult to watch, as it was like looking in a mirror. I have constant battles with my thoughts, as though i have good me and bad me. I havejust been told i most likely have Aspergers, which i am finding difficult to take in. Sometimes i can subconsciously know i am doing or saying the wrong things but i cant stop. I have had depression for 20 odd years and i suffered with lots of homophobic abuse in the past and i feel as though they robbed me of my life
I get paranoia thoughts...for example...I will hear a noise & I'm convinced someone wants to either come & take me or kill me...so I have to search the whole house to make sure no ones in the house! It's kind of hard to explain to people what your thoughts are when they have no clue what your going through when you are fearing for your life..I also sometimes convince myself that I can see a shadow of a person x
It might be worth talking to someone about these thoughts if you haven't spoken to anyone about them. Perhaps a friend, or relative, or even a doctor if you're worried. Don't keep them to yourself. Paranoia can be really crippling and destructive, but the good news is that there are ways to deal with it :)
ia have had counselling sessions last year...i just find for me my 'issues' will be my issues no matter how much i talk about them...I find it hard to say how i feel...I m pretty an emotional person...i just cry...thats how i deal with things...I do speak to my partner sometimes but it must be frustrating for him...I'm pretty open about my PTSD but some people just role their eyes when i talk about it so i just keep quite about it around certain people...other wise i lose my rage...lol...Thank you for the advise Jonny...your doing an amazing job...& i cried my eyes out at finding mike! Just reminded me how i once felt about life & i never thought i would over come it...there is light at the end of the tunnel i know that now...never be ashamed on being open about mental illness...Your a very brave guy...keep up the good work we all love you Jonny!
I love what you do I am schizoaffective also I show my family your vids cause you can explain it far better then I can I'm not allowed to explain it if you know what I mean I have to do it on the sly
As I just commented on your other video a person like Eliot Rodger would have benefitted quite possibly had he known that he didn't need to identify so closely with his thinking because the failure to do so led to the tragedy it did. And it's further evidence that the simple act of labelling someone as therapists are conditioned to do will NOT prevent the person being treated from continuing to live under the spell of his thinking.
Saw your vid. Was wondering if you've come across Prof. Steve Peters' work? I'm just reading his book The Chimp Paradox right now, which basically talks about how the brain / mind works (in layman's terms of course, otherwise I wouldn't get past page one). He calls the limbic system of our brain as the 'Chimp' and the pre-frontal cortex as the 'Human'. If you haven't come across this book, it would be really really interesting to see what you make of his theories & concepts. BTW, I'm in no way associated with the Prof or the book. I just came across it last week at Waterstones and I've always been intrigued by psychology and I've been having these distressing romantic delusions lately (so I can empathize with that bit at least). Pretty obsessive stuff. Have you come across the term 'limerence'? I still can't quite figure out the difference between this and romantic delusion. Probably similar sort of stuff. Anyhoo... it's all a journey. Okies, you take care & I think you're brave for sharing your thoughts in these videos, so thank you for sharing them!
stoute endje Thank-you and thanks for sharing The Chimp Paradox, i'll take a look! It sounds so interesting. It's nice to know i'm not the only one with these romantic delusions. I hope they're not causing you too much distress. Keep bringing yourself back to your breath moving in and out of the body, or the soles of your feet. You are more than your thoughts friend!
Jonny Benjamin 1 Yes it is very interesting. I'm halfway through it (I read really slow!). 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle is another good book that I found helpful a while back. That is, not in terms of the romantic delusion (which I've more or less got a handle on now) but just in terms of understanding oneself and making sense of our perceptions and thought processes. Cheers! :)
Jonny, You come off as a very tender guy. a wonderful sensitive spirit. you probly aren't from this planet natively~and find its barbarity frightening and disquieting, as many of us do. listening to you is like listening to a talking book novel. you write well. if this video is spontaneous, transcribe it. you are rather like a self inspecting jewel disovering your facets some appear libilities to you when in fact they may be assets. and who said you were NOT infact reading minds and hearing thoughts of others? how would they know ? wouldn't they have to be inside yer head to know that ? and if so~did you give them permission to be there or did they just drop in unannounced and uninvited~in which case, show them the exit. the space in which your feet stand and everything inside of it, belongs to you, and who you allow into it is your perrogative. and as far as feeling like you are being watched; yeh, tell me about it. ever counted those cameras along the roadways ? and the microwave voice to skull technology , all the EMFs. did you ever see that episode of 'i love lucy' where she was picking up radio transmissions from a new dental filling she'd had. ? a light came into your eyes when you talked about falling in love. follow your heart, you are very young yet, i'm twice your age and many of your feelings are reminescent of some portions of my youth. one thing guaranteed about feelings~they are like the wind and the cycles of the moon~they go through changes. i love and appreciate your openess and honesty and your courge in shaing intimate details of your private world. keep around you close those loving spirits that can find it within themselves to accept you as you are. we are all they way we have come to be for many various reasons not one identical to the next. Our infinite complexities are one of the wonders of creation. you likely at this point know yourself and own interior world more than the majority of creatures on this planet. keep reaching out as you are doing. you appear to be blossoming beautifully. the universe has a way of bringing to us what we need and the sincerity of your heart will expedite that fulfillment. better than AT&T, you've reached out and touched someone, and in a very creative and innovative way. Stay close with those with whom you feel loved~keep away from those who cause you to withdraw. our friends and loved ones are our support network, without which none of us could do. you are building a fine one. and thankyou for inviting this spirit into your world, i've very much enjoyed and been inspired with your wholesome courage openess and honesty. i had stopped the video midway through for this note to you. i now continue. My best to you and yours. EagleTimmer
EagleTimmer thank-you for watching my video, writing to me, and offering your wisdom. I hope you too are surrounded by a loving network. I am lucky to be surrounded by a group of loving friends and family. I hope you find peace and contentment in your life at present. Thank-you EagleTimmer
Hey Johnny, I'm such a greasy Mexican I can't stick a sticky note to my forehead :) haha I found myself wiping my head off as you were sticking the notes, but I feel the same tho,..That tornado is so hard to get out of...so hard
Hi i have a question.Do you ever feel the voices and tension coming from one side of your brain,like the right side of your fourhead,its like one side is evil and the other is the real me kicking and screaming to be let lose,idk thats how it is for me
That's interesting i've not really considered this before-it usually just feels like it's my whole head!! Try to focus on the good side if you can. And on the rest of your body too when things become too intense in your mind.
I know this feeling. Sometimes all to well. I felt a feeling of having one hemisphere of my brain disconnected, as if someone opened up my head and cut my brain in half. This one disconnected side was not me. There were times I felt as though it dominated me and tortured me with voices, intrusive thoughts, and very, very twisted weird visions of suicide and death. However this side of me wasn't a different personality it just was a weird demented form of me (yet it wasn't, yet it was...... still just as confusing 9 months later even with a much clearer head).These feelings for me were amplified due to hormone imbalances. These imbalances were so extreme they produced severe lows that allowed the voices and thoughts more readily. What works for me is a combo of medicine (Lamictal and something for the hormone imbalance) I also use writing and music as outlets for the voices and intrusive thoughts to allow them to dissolve away. I meditate from time to time when things get bad. My psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression and anxiety 9 months ago. nearly 10 years ago I was told I was depressed and was sent to a mental health clinic for help after the meds I was on caused me to plan an attempt on my life. Due to an incident at the clinic I refused to have more help given and proceeded to deal with it on my own. I have been depressed for nearly 18 years and have been having panic attacks for 14 of those years. I don't know if my story will help you or not. I hope you are able to start on a journey of peace soon.
Hmm that's interesting, I get the split brain thing too ... but mine involves sleep. I wish more research went into how anxiety can destroy the sleep mechanism. Even when I am sleeping it feels that HALF of my brain is awake. And then when I "awaken", I just have to relax a little and close my eyes to go into a very dissociated state and then HALF of my brain immediately goes into REM. Its very scary. Im going to ask my doctor for sleeping pills but I don't know if that will take care of the damage that anxiety has done to my brain already. I haven't slept fully in two years. Its like a horror novel. I'm so extremely exhausted, I cant live this way, I just want to die. It is pure torture.
I hadn't sleep a full night in nearly 2 when i finally went to see a psychiatrist. Mine mostly happened when i was awake but I would sudden wake out of a deep sleep into a massive panic attack where no matter what I or anyone else told me I thought there was something in my room. This panic attack event happened 2-4 times a week. My medicine is not an anti-psychotic, it is a anti-seizure medicine and it worked wonders once we reached treatment strength. Sleeping pills never worked for me. My mind just raced far too much for them to be effective. Don't do anything rash please, I know I nearly did before I went for help.
