You have to TEACH people how to FEEL about you: the essence of game 

When people first meet you, they look to you to teach them about how they should feel about you. This is because, it's actually fairly difficult for most people to make up their own minds: so they're going to need your help. This is your opportunity! The key to getting people to feel positively about you is to imagine that you are world's greatest vacuum cleaner salesman. I'll explain what that means in this episode. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WrXBzQ2HDEQ.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ru-vid.com/show-UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #confidence

Guys. If you trick someone into buying you don’t be surprised when you get tossed in the trash when they find out you aren’t what was promised. Focus on continually developing yourself to stay ahead of the market. The product will sell itself as long as it is visible in comparison to the competitors.

Act like a person worthy of respect and you will get it. Treat people the way you want to be treated. With respect.

“Understand who your customers actually are and practice indifference to the opinions to those that aren’t in your client base” this is a great statement. Looking at myself as a business helps out a lot and gives me focus

I've always found sales a struggle. As a customer, I have an inherent distrust of sales people because I know they're obviously not going to tell me about the products flaws, so I prefer to do my research, look at reviews, compare specs and get recommendations. So I feel like whenever I am trying to sell myself, whether it be in my business or with women, that they are thinking the same kind of things that I would be.

When a woman says “ he ain’t got no game” she’s really saying he’s not good at convincing me (manipulating me) into why I should consider him.

Came to gain social dominance, ended up selling vacuum pumps

I use to get more success socially when I cared about how people perceived me. Now that I don't, people are attracted to my mysteriousness (because I keep to myself), but they don't stick around for very long or don't even approach but just look at me a lot (girls are notorious at this). I think because of my closed off demeanour, I have communicated that I'm unavailable which leads to less people approaching or even engaging in contrast to when I was open and putting myself out there. I find that people even put up tough exteriors because I'm intimidating to them. I certainly see the value in putting yourself out there and presenting yourself in an ideal way but also authentic to you. I just don't think I have it in me to care if I'm accepted or desirable anymore. What matters now is that I connect rather than have a lot of options socially. This is especially true when it comes to dating. I guess the moral of my comment is that sometimes you mature in a way that teaches you that you don't actually like a lot of people and that's okay; so you don't have to "sell yourself". Living the way you want is enough to attract people and those who stay are those you should care about anyway.

I did some of this when I came to the United States as a teenager from Eastern Europe. I read the book "How to win friends and influence people", which gave a lot of similar advice. Good book, I highly recommend it. It certainly helped a lot with basic communication with native-born Americans, but it didn't make me into some kind of social butterfly or pickup artist.. In the end, I'm still much more comfortable and successful interacting with people from the same region of the world as I am.

“You have no obligation to help her reject you”. Great line.

Once trust is broken with someone, it can never be regained. The sole reason is fear. The fear that will happen again restricts us from trusting others again. When someone breaks our trust many of us appear to be calm, but 'just appear' somewhere deep inside there is restlessness, the battle going on between heart and brain, and we let the brain overpower. Trust has to be earned, its not something you just do. Thanks.

At 24 I walked into a Navy recruiting center. The recruiter offered to answer any questions I had, but said as little as possible. He knew that I was already over 90% sold on the Navy. He couldn't talk me into it, but he didn't need to, he could easily talk me out of it.

A man’s energy tells me everything. It does NOT matter what he looks like. If the energy is off, I now listen.

People used to not buy my vacuums because they were, to be honest, not that valuable. But then I put effort into re-design, upgrades, and user features. Salesmanship and confidence are helpful for sure! But the most important thing is that your product is ACTUALLY GOOD. Then it starts selling itself 💛

In one word: Confidence

I love the way he articulated the idea of no good or bad just features. Reminds me of Socrates quote “All things are indifferent, good and evil exists only in the mind.”

In my 40’s and really cannot be bothered playing these childish games and really don’t care what anyone thinks of me. I know to much about people to know that it isn’t worth it. Plus i wouldn’t be my authentic self by portraying someone I’m not. It takes to much energy and not worth the reward. The reward is not real, it’s fake. This is not living. You are merely existing to keep everyone happy. Once you revert back to your authentic self the reward is lost. Good luck with being fake

Sell your product like you believe in it. Even when you dont. And when you dont believe in it, work on yourself until you do.

I‘ve found that the less I try to sell myself, and the more I try to think like a woman, and connect deeply with them, the more successful I’ve been and the more authentic my relationships have been. I’ve been with scores and scores of women, but never made it a point to dress up, wear a nice watch or fragrance, etc. I’ve never owned a car worth more than $5k. I wear the same color green t-shirt wherever I go. I own 10 of them. I wear the same model of shoes. I have a distinct style and none of it really feels like “trying”. I just focus on connecting to the woman INSIDE the woman and awakening her emotions. I’m afraid if I were to try to sell myself like a salesman, I’d attract the completely wrong women.

If she’s initially attracted to you, not much selling is needed to get your foot in the door. If she’s not, then your sales pitch is most likely going to be an exercise in futility.,

I’ve taught people how to feel about me unconditionally lovable , generous, open minded , creative

Got to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you

Older models can be less desirable to some people, who want new, but MORE desirable to others, who prefer classics. Often, newer products are not made as well, lower quality. They don’t make ‘em like they used to. Same is true of people. Don’t feel like being older is worse. Depends on the other person. Some prefer the wisdom and work you’ve done to improve your personality. They don’t want a millennial. Others do. Don’t worry about those ones.

That's funny! I sold vacuums for 11 years. I had a few people buy from me because their dog liked me. Apparently the pooch never liked salesmen.

Yes. As a sales guy this is all facts. Present your product confidently tell a story sell the sizzle not the steak overcome objections before them present themselves have confidence in the pricing and the close is easy.

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it

If you have to convince her and game her, she is not worth the headache. Self improve, be your best self, and let any willing buyers come. Be an employer and review / accept applications from women to come work for you. Don't be desperate. Set the frame and terms of the relationship. Take it or leave it attitude.

*EVERY* woman's Tinder profile: "NO GAMES!" _ALSO_ every woman: "you need MASSIVE amounts of 'game' to approach or talk to me"

Excellent analogy, because there is always an element of sales in all relationships, especially in high value ones. You don’t need to be in sales to be selling something; you’re always selling yourself.

I love this! I've been practicing seeing myself in a better light so I don't help the customer find flaws in me

I actually had a vacuum cleaner salesman come to my house as a kid and said he would get paid a decent amount of money just for demonstrating it for us. My mom let him do that but didn’t buy it. Thanks for teaching us not to worry about those who aren’t interested in our “product”. It’s much healthier than trying to turn a square peg into a round hole.

I absolutely needed to watch this video. I’ve been having some serious self esteem issues for the past couple months. Need to go back into the fake it till you make it mode, and actually believe in myself too.

Just thank you for presenting "the game" in a truthful way, that some of us can finally accept.

When you have 1000 customers and no one buys your vacuum because they want a 6ft 1mil vacuum that they can’t afford , you close the shop and live a happy life all by yourself .

Very well said! When you believe in your product, you can bring buyers on board.

I wouldn’t respond well to a man trying to sell themselves to me I would see it as insecure. Thinking that a women doesn’t know what she wants and you need to teach or convince her, this is not a solid foundation to build a good relationship. I think the takeaway from this video is more about ceasing the opportunity, believe in yourself and put your best foot forward so that someone will give you a chance to get to know you but detach from the outcome. It is true for both genders. People should learn social skills but it’s important to be authentic. If you need to convince someone to be with you that’s toxic for you and them and you both deserve better

I'm so glad you're talking about this. This is why you're one of my favorite RU-vidrs and I'm so glad I can learn from you as a woman myself.

This has to be one of your best videos. Great analogy!!

Invaluabe information Dr. Taraban. People fail to see the message between the lines in your sales analogy but I found it extremely insightful. Trust in your product, trust in yourself and understand that not everyone is going to like you. Thanks!

You have no idea what your content is doing to me. Thank you for showing me I am a strong and powerful man, or so I can be one. Thank you Dr🙏🏿

This is going to sound insane, but as a man you can only acquire the confidence for true game by accepting your inherent power over women with no shame and see yourself as superior. The twist here is that you must also treat women with love and understanding their mindsets and emotions. You can’t allow your brain become too misogynistic because it’s going to mess up the balance. At that stage spitting game to even 9s and 10s is gonna be light work because you’ll see yourself as inherently better than all women. Men only fall short with game because they view women as above themselves and as creatures that have to be constantly catered to. The Key is; Dominance, Understanding the female mind and body, while simultaneously showing them love and genuine appreciation. And remember, don’t let total misogyny overcloud your brain, because you won’t be able to authentically pull it off.💯💯

McDonald's catering to those that don't eat McDonald's reminds me of something Bud Light once did... 😂

I have this vacuum cleaner. It's a great vacuum cleaner. It's a classic vac at 66 years of age! This vacuum cleaner is small and compact at 5'5", and very maneuverable. My vacuum is a self-start that requires minimal maintenance and is self-propelled. Did I mention that it is a "Classic", that comes with its own insurance. It is also a military issued model. Which means that it has been misused for years and keeps going. You should invest in this vacuum cleaner now, while the cost is low. 😆

„You have to believe it to see it.“ This is GOLD!

Girls and boys, this here is pure GOLD! Don't just make a note of this, absorb this into your every cell! Just have care to separate genuine negative feedback from nay-sayers. You still need to hear and process negative feedback. Otherwise you may lose real customers. Understand well and apply carefully.

I lived in my van throughout most of my twenties and never had trouble getting laid. It wasn’t even a particularly nice van.. the reason I had no issue was because how I framed it. I was clearly happy about my decision to live in this way and saw so many reasons as to why it was a good way to live and women were attracted to my passion for it and my disregard for other peoples opinions of it. Great summary Orian 👌

Your metaphors make complex things easy to understand

This is my first ever comment on any of your videos and i have only one message for you " YOU NAILED IT". Thanks a lot.

This is great, you episodes keep getting better. Thank you

In my experience : Once a I started to view my self as the best seducer in the history of man kind , I started to have an effect on people. The last advice is priceless and I love how you delivered it ,much love ❤

You can sell yourself without saying a word to women. Women love mystery, the unknown of a man. So when i meet a woman , i dont tell her how much i make, i dont tell her what i drive, i dont tell her what kind of house i live in. I stay humble. She slowly sees the way i dress, she see the car i pick her up in, she observes what i order and eat when we go out....My life is not extravagant but very comfortable. She sees my successi a little at a time.. keep her interested. She sees the kind of life i can provide.. BUt i decide that not her, women think bcuz their pretty they deserve that life. They leadw looks.... There's much more then looks that will get me to commit to them. That being said, obviously, you have to keep her interested w verbal judo also...

I wasn’t sure why the algorithm gods sent this my way… but man am I glad I listened! Instead of women though, my customers are corporate leaders. Sometimes I overthink the critics and “non-customers” so I needed to hear this. Thanks for the shift in mindset! I’m proud of my product (automating product testing) and will use this technique to maintain healthy motivation.

Amazing video! I've heard the concept before, but I had many objections about it. In this video, you addressed all of them BRILLIANTLY!!!!!! Thank you so much!

I’m an introvert so woman tend to dislike me without even talking to me. Most men are intimidated by me and get nervous around me. When I walk into a room everyone goes quiet. I’m not going to be someone I’m not just to impress people.

Compiling some knowledge here. I recently learned women don’t neurologically are incapable of making decisions without establishing a framework to make them. I used to use self deprecating humor to ease the tensions on first dates until I saw that most of them don’t get the joke, these are not unobvious things either, but it does seem mostly true that whatever it is that you tell a woman that you are is what she is going to believe. Second I learned dissolving a woman’s tension often times turns them off not on.

This is from How to Win Friends and Influence People, which is a book that offers even more great advice

I swear all your uploads are timely in my life.

As someone from a South American country living in a Westerm European country, I can tell you that it is hard to be liked or accepted by the people from this country. Many will still look at you like some kind of weirdo they can never fully trust or figure out, no matter how nice, trustworthy or decent you are. It is a different culture with different mindsets, expectations, body language, shared rituals, etc., and we are and never will be on the same page. On the other hand, interacting with people from my same part of the world I immediately connect and feel respected and valued.

I relate. Two years ago, and currently as well, I’ve had phases in which I carried myself more seriously, less looking for approval from others. This time was triggered by standing up to my best friend when I felt he acted unfairly towards me. In between I was (am at times) very insecure although it doesn’t really show - people told me I seem self-assured. Even so, I notice a difference of respect expressed towards me between those two modes which is incredible, the difference between a mediocre, unfulfilled and a hell yeah life. Someone feels this?

You're exactly right with this one

This is the best video yet and I think so true!

Asking a woman to truly and sincerely love you unconditionally forever is like trying to hit a million dollor lottery. The closest to finding this kind of love would be your self and immediate family.

Hi Orion, I don’t really like the salesman example. As this goes towards manipulation. I know manipulation with advertising is a big thing in the US, compared to Europe. Maybe it’s time to talk about good and dark rhetorics at this point. I am convinced that good rhetorics are key if you want to improve your social life, you go for this in many of your videos on self improvement. But the salesman example is dark rhetorics, which involves manipulating people. Yes, it increases your chances short term. Also in mid/long term, if done well. But when going for a dating or life advice, I am in the opinion that this is toxic, not only for relationships, but for society in general.

Thanks to this video, I have not only decided to become a vacuum cleaner salesman, but to become the greatest vacuum cleaner salesman in the world!

Just got on this guys videos and have been surprisingly impressed with his unique perspective that actually differs greatly from all other content creators in this genre - not only that , but my deepest inner spirit detects that THIS guys approach is actually FAR more truthful to the way men ought to think about themselves with regard to their approach with women

Now that's a real positive self image talk.

Great analogy. Thank you for sharing sir! Edit; love the part about flaws as perception rather than fact. That's the first time I've thought about it like this, it really helps put things into perspective.

You gotta boldly believe in yourself. You will not sell your product to everybody but you'll definitely sell it to somebody.

"It's not a flaw, it's a feature" - brilliant

You popped up on my radar very recently and I'm very impressed. You explain things fantastically and I do learn from you. I can give a like, comment, and sub to support you.

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🗣️ In initial interactions, you teach people how to feel about you through non-verbals, tone, expression, and body language. 02:09 🤝 Assume interest and educate others about their needs and desires in interactions. 03:34 💼 Believing in your product is crucial for successful sales; your belief in it influences your communication. 06:05 🛒 Recast perceived product liabilities as assets to present it in the best possible light. 08:36 🤷‍♂️ Focus on your actual customers and practice indifference to non-buyers' opinions to succeed in your business. Made with HARPA AI

Yall did some searching and we appreciate it

This episode is full of gems 💎

There's coming a time very soon when women are going to have to learn game and sell themselves. It's always the person that needs something that needs to employ game

I enjoyed this video because I was a Kirby salesman after I left the navy

This was right on time for me. Thank you!!

One of your best videos! Brilliantly said.

Another life-changing episode, thank you Orion! This is everything ❤

Only true for young or naive ones. I had plenty of (emotionally mature) women telling me to show them first hell (flaws , shortcomings etc) instead of my good sides. For men it also sets the bar low- any little improvement on his part later on is a big deal for her . Setting the bar too high (overly confident , assertive etc) in the beginning might give you some advantage with certain women initially but will backfire later one as no one can keep up with the first impression set in the beginning .

This video is the work of genius.

What a headline! Love it already

Attraction cannot be negotiated.

Easier said than done. It could take years to learn and integrate this lesson but once you do… 😱

You are good at what you do. I respect you approach

Happy Birthday!! Your delivery always makes me smile! Great as Always 👏🏼👏🏼🎂

Well, after watching this I have a slightly better idea of how to sell a vacuum, but not much about how to teach anyone to feel about me. Basically, I think it would've translated better if you didn't use a metaphor and instead actually teach people how to feel about them.

And there’s plenty of women who don’t want but need a vacuum that currently doesn’t work but might if they repair it at their cost!

You make some of the most brilliant and interesting videos on RU-vid. I'm sold!

really do love your content my dude. keep doing it.

I watched a ton of your videos I think this one felt the most helpful in a practical way, thanks a lot and keep up the good content ❤

Vacuums are a fungible commodity. Rather, I'd sell a unique and hard-to-find item. Discovery would work the same, but the value-proposition is the carefully tuned and refined combination. Also, deciding is costly, and you cannot just go back to any shop for any product: It's an instance of the Secretary Problem (aka Castles on the Rhine Problem) -- plus, the longer (expensive) your decision process, the more likely the opportunity vanishes and you have start it anew.

Listening to this for the second time and I am so happy I did

I’ve been selling myself on practicality and ideas such as--when it’s time to grow or just maintain inner peace. I’m also learning how to incorporate indifference for loftier outcomes (rather than sour grapes syndrome). Beyond basic needs and a few pleasures, I won’t over task myself into stress--Makes all the difference in being an “above average happy” person.

Inner game has helped me the most by far! I found that if/when I am truly at peace with myself and don't feel the need to impress a woman or to gain something from her, game feels like a walk in the park to me. Because in that state, the most important thing for me is to just do and say what I genuinely feel and that gives me the most satisfaction. Of course, it would be awesome if I would sleep with her, but that is just a bonus to me.

"You have to TEACH people how to FEEL about you: the essence of game" If you approach life as a game, your life is going to be a game to everyone you meet, and you will eventually lose, no matter how often you delude yourself into believing you are winning. If you have to "teach" everyone you meet how to "feel" about you, how they honestly feel about you will eventually be how they honestly feel about you and you will lose. People are not a product. Relationships are not pawns in a game. If you treat people this way, if you treat relationships this way, all you are doing is manipulating everyone in your life, and that will catch up with you, sooner or later. People are not customers. You are not a product. What a load of delusional hack. Believe you are an intelligent human being deserving of respect and you will be treated as an intelligent human being worthy of respect.

Pure gold right here....

By far this is the best relationship advice video I’ve seen in a long time!💕

I would never listen to any of this channel's advice, but when it comes to explaining some people's odd behaviour to me it's pure gold. They were putting on an act!! And I, fool that I was thought they were authentic and struggled to be authentic around them! Some people want to be lied to it seems. All they know are clichés and roles to play, and you are just their pawn. It's all about them, always. My now husband, his family, my father's part of my family and my friends all are authentic and I will never accept "charismatic" people in my life again. Charisma is a sign of weak character, it's exhausting because the curtain never falls, and in the end it leads to loneliness. Authentic people realize sooner or later what game is being played with them, and then they're off. Charismatic people will call the same person friend or foe according to their wishes. They don't love anyone really and nobody loves them. If I apply for a job interview or meet someone and they dismiss me because they don't want my true self but a puppet, they're not for me. Keep on the good work. Your advice is terrible but it explains so much. What a relief it is for an authentic person when one day they look back on an awful relationship and can say, "It was not my fault and it couldn't have gone any other way." Avoid charismatic people. Always. That is my advice. You can't truly live and be happy with an illusion, and neither can they.

Is this why all the 300 pound women I meet are 10s. Haven't bought their vacum cleaner though

Brilliant! Thank you very much!