You shouldn't feel guilty about childcare | Hazel Sy | TEDxDanville 

This is a great talk. I was a single mom , had to work but no regrets. My son graduated Seton Hall University with a degree in diplomacy , international relations , modern language , and a masters in Accounting. It’s the time you spend for yourself to keep hold of you , and the honesty and love you give your child It works ! Thank you Hazel for bringing the guilt up on the table.

Amazing message, Hazel. You're setting a fabulous example for your daughters and parents everywhere!

I found her journey super relatable, I remember those early days when I felt like I was drowning in diapers and sleepless nights. It's encouraging to see how she managed to balance her identity as a mom with her passions and aspirations!

I love how you’ve framed child care as an investment rather than an expense. It’s so empowering to think of it that way. Thank you for sharing your journey!

Your story is so inspiring! Balancing a demanding career and motherhood is tough, but you’re proving it’s possible. Your daughters are lucky to have such a strong role model ❤

Great talk. Thank you for this important message. Taking care of our children starts with taking care of our own needs. We also need a change in public policy to create a support system for working parents!

Very important message here. I never stopped working after having 2 children and continued on to obtain my doctorate while they were both under 5 years old. I always made time to bond with them by reading to them at night and helping with homework as needed. Now they are 19 & 17 and have mentioned how impressed they are of what I have achieved. They work hard in school with ambition and goals they are working toward.

Love the reminder that it's okay to pursue personal passions while being a mom! We're people too and shouldn't have to abandon everything just for the sake of raising children

This is a great talk! Parents and especially mothers should be encouraged to keep their autonomy

Loved hearing about how you were able to shift your perspective of being a mom and how you balanced that with your own identity. Also great to see that your identity isn’t just a typical career but can also be other passions. Definitely helps me think more about my identity as a mom. Great Tedtalk!

The image of her sprinting to pick up her kids at the last minute from after-school care is so real in my mind lol motherhood is definitely a juggling act

I think this talk really speaks to the complexities of modern parenthood. It's a reminder that every family situation is unique and ultimately, as long as the kids are happy and cared for, we shouldn't judge each other on it.

Beautifully and effectively articulated talk about having the option to not having to choose. Childcare really is an investment in yourself.

Thanks for sharing your story and addressing the guilt that may come with trying to balance taking care of children and pursuing your own goals and passions. I'm sure listening to this will help someone not feel alone in this struggle. It's important for children to see their parents as fulfilled and happy people, too! You're setting a great example!

Absolutely! It's pretty amazing how seeing childcare as an investment can really make parenting feel more fulfilling and purposeful

This resonates so much with me. Thank you for sharing this perspective. High quality child care combined with high quality conscious respectful parenting and role modeling that you can make the world a better place in your work is a great aspiration of mine. Thanks again for this talk.

This is such a great talk Hazel! I was nodding my head in agreement the whole time. Eloquently said, I hope all parents listen to this message

Can’t agree more! Investing in our children and ourselves are both important to living a full life!

Thank you for sharing your story, Hazel! Many working parents, particularly working mothers, struggle with this very decision and tend to focus only on the negative outcomes vs. considering the positive ones. Nicely done!

So much relatability for all us working moms!

This just shows how there's no one-size-fits-all type of solution. There's value in staying at home _and_ in continuing to work, and it's important to find what works best for each family

Powerful presentation Hazel. I know your daughters are greatly influenced by what they see you accomplish and how you accomplish it. They will be leaders themselves thanks to having you as their role model.

This is so powerful! I think it’s going to put to rest a lot of guilt that women carry. Truly, an idea, worth sharing!

Thanks for this, I've always felt guilty about using daycare, but framing it as an investment in myself and my kids future makes a lot of sense

The positive & negative comments here are interesting. At the end of the day, it's a personal choice & responsibility. There is no right or wrong. It's how you make of it. The speaker's message is about parents (esp mothers) who choose to balance career & parenting & hire a caregiver should not feel guilty. The worse parent is either a guilty parent or a resentful parent. Those are the extreme opposites of one parenting choice spectrum. The important thing is to be aware of our choices as parents & make a conscious effort, depending on what your child needs at a given time. And every circumstance & child is different. Years ago, I had the goal of finishing my masters in child psychology to become a therapist. I was a thesis away from graduating. However, when my son struggled in school & was labeled as ADHD, I had to weigh everything & made a conscious choice of giving my thesis up to focus on my son and what he needed at that moment. My reasoning was, what good is having an MA in child psychology & helping other children if I can't even help my own child? Did I regret that decision? No. Was I guilty or resentful? No. I made the decision with an open mind & a peaceful heart. And as human beings & parents, that's our barometer. Always follow your gut. Years later, I became a successful entrepreneur, traversed different paths & have constantly surprised myself & those around me with what I can do. As for my son, he's doing great now. Graduated with honors, developed healthy life skills & discipline & happy with his job. ❤

This was a great talk. The importance of investing into oneself as a mother is often seen as selfish, because many people think that the only people you should pour love into are the children. But you can certainly do both. And how Come people are so quick to judge a woman who is doing good in the world and being a great example and role model to her daughters, simply because she chose to invest in childcare? Also- what works for one person may not work for the next. Not everyone can afford to stay home and not work! And just because some mothers don’t work and stay home with their children doesn’t always make them good moms. I know mothers who were beyond exhausted and fueled by stress that they took it out in their children making a negative impact, and causing the kids to grow up fearing them. So I believe that you need to do what’s best for you, and if that is childcare than that’s wonderful.

Don’t have kids, but been around enough of them to know that it can be stressful. Daycare I’m sure helps, just as long as you stay involved. Resenting them and stressing out would be worse. 👍

What a great talk and just what I needed to hear right now as I try to balance being an attorney, a mom, a nonprofit director, and animal rescuer.

The stats on child care costs are pretty wild. Really puts into perspective the financial challenges many parents face.

Had no idea how much income goes towards childcare... what she said about working full-time from January to June on minimum wage really highlights it and puts into perspective the financial strain a lot of families must be facing when making those kinds of choices between the two

Congratulations on your TED talk Hazel!! 🎉 Your insights and passion truly shone through, and I am so proud of you for sharing your message with the world. It's inspiring to see how dedicated you are to making a difference, and I'm sure your words will resonate with many. Keep up the amazing work! 💪

Thank you for sharing this powerful and inspirational message!

As a Mom of 3, an engineer and an entrepreneur, I can completely relate to this. The amount of guilt is overwhelming. But when your direct family are all in different countries, there's very little support. Thank you for sharing a topic that needs more focus and discussion! WONDERFUL TEDTalk!

Congratulations, Hazel. Excellent advice that you generously bestow upon us. I look forward to a world where the next generation includes Emily and Sophia.

What a beautiful speech, Hazel! I think so many of us (even those of us without children, but who are caretakers to senior pets and/or parents, etc) feel overwhelmed by the everyday life that we are immersed in and tend to lose our sense of self. Thank you for reminding us it's okay to make ourselves a priority, too - and that it not only benefits us, but our loved ones, as well!

Fantastic Talk! Insightful, impactful and really makes you think about childcare from another viewpoint.

Great talk! ❤️ Such inspiring words. Being a parent shouldn't be a hindrance for us to achieve our own dreams.

Such a great inspirational presentation!

Very touching talk. I agree with your message 100%!

Love this! Great points made by an outstanding role model

Bendiciones para ti TEDx y tu familia

Just amazing! I completely feel this and can relate! Thank you for this!

Great talk, Haze!

I think so often kids see their parents (especially single parents) put their needs last. It’s not the most sustainable or fulfilling way to live. So although it’s a tough decision to put your kids in day care, and not for everyone, if it helps you feel fulfilled and happy as a person then that probably benefits your kids in the long run and is a good role model for them.

Inspiring 🎉 The reason, the importance, the responsibility, the time, the cost, the challenges, and the pain and joy that come with investment in childcare. The world needs children be brought up on the right path so that they can continue to inspire others as they grow up. 🎉🎉🎉

Great job Hazel!

Watching from Nigeria 🇳🇬.

Wow! Thank you for this important message. So well communicated. 🏆

So relatable! I felt exactly that way too and it’s nice to hear that it’s ok to keep our own identities even after kids.

As a beneficiary of Hazel's passion for animals, I am grateful for the feral kitten she socialized. I am impressed by everything else you have accomplished, too-- and by this thought provoking talk. Having a full life is by no means easy but certainly very rewarding.

I bet your kids are really proud of you! And from one animal rescuer to another, thank you for following your passions!!

Watching from Indonesian

I hate to be “that guy,” but maybe the headline should be more like “invest in parents.” Some dads work just as hard as moms (some harder), and some kiddos only have a dad or two dads.

It’s so important for all moms to have childcare so our children see us as whole people for their own future, for them to see us happy with interests and friends so they know what it is to be a rounded person.

So important to be able to and have the time and freedom invest in yourself - your children will see that and model it! Thank you!!

I love it ❣️❣️ it is an investment

Okay but who is out here shaming people over putting their kids in childcare?

I so can relate and put my original aspirations on hold for my daughter. This is so inspirational for new moms who can relate.

love to see it!! really informative :) watching from philippines

❤❤❤ This is both motivating and validating that it’s okay to want a career for ourselves and at the same time confidently allow a trusted source to nurture and teach our kids. We then can be role models to our children and also take that inspiration our children gives us to further move us. Bravo!

A great message for mothers/parents. Childcare as an investment.

Important topic. Thanks for sharing your story!

Wonderful point of view, moving and elegant story

I want to say that this was a great Ted talk but who invests in your children then if you're dropping them off 10 hours a day, they're going to be influenced by someone else other than you. Truth be told

do any of us really live long enough to grow up anyway 😊

Amazing, thank you so much 👏🏻🪽👼 🙏🏻🕊️🌝☀️💫🦖

Childcare for long hours is bad for the kid

Childcare 🧬🔬🔭📡🔆

Being a parent is not easy or else we'd have fewer people in prison. It is a serious commitment and balancing raising a child and working towards personal goals can impossible for many. BUT YOU DO NOT GIVE UP. You're not going to get it right 100% of the time, heck you would be lucky to get 50%. You cannot give up, not on yourself and especially not on your children. Be like John Wick and take on the impossible task, because as a parent you were the one who brought (a) precious young life/lives into the world. Even if you fail, fight life's challenges while loving your children, they will remember the effort.

You absolutely should care about raising your own children. The state wants to raise them for you.

Tag who watches the video to the end🐼

That is one fine Asian lady

Gyatt

Sure lady whatever you have to tell yourself. Being an absentee parent because you want to sell yourself to the business world is fine. I just grew up with a ton of kids in Silicon Valley that were locked up in after school care until 7 PM and they were definitely robbed of a lot of things that kids with blue collar parents weren’t. I had friends that didn’t pick up sports until they hit high school and either rebelled or excelled in school while being depressed and suicidal. There’s something wrong with commuter train tracks needing to be manned 24/7 in Palo Alto, CA because kids can’t stop throwing themselves in front of oncoming trains. I was lucky enough to have a large extended family in the area to look after me while my parents sold their soles to big tech. I swore I’d never do the same to my children it’s a terrible way to grow up.

I do support this project. Early Childhood is so important. But I also don't want the world to overemphasize reproduction. We need to keep our birthrates below the replacement rate for a couple five or six generations. Personally the World will be ecologically and climatically much better off with One Billion Humans versus Eight or worse Nine Billion Humans. Less is more. We will be fine if we don't turn the whole of the habitable land into endless suburban sprawl. Climate change is simple. We are the cause. And we really don't want to change. So nothing will change. Except it will get worse.

This is so delusional, who in their sane mind wants to be a CEO, then be at home with their family, and be paying 17 % of that same income to a stranger... Vacation sounds better to me, give me a break.

. Juju

Please please please please support our Bangladesh's Quota movement and student.They need All of your support 😢😢😢😢😢

Lost me when I realized that you’re paying other people to raise your children while you’re working with animals I think it would be better to just work with children

What has she done exaclty. And if u can 10 values that u thin waste of time another mother thinking she achived somehting exceptional.

This was a great talk. The importance of investing into oneself as a mother is often seen as selfish, because many people think that the only people you should pour love into are the children. But you can certainly do both. And how Come people are so quick to judge a woman who is doing good in the world and being a great example and role model to her daughters, simply because she chose to invest in childcare? Also- what works for one person may not work for the next. Not everyone can afford to stay home and not work! And just because some mothers don’t work and stay home with their children doesn’t always make them good moms. I know mothers who were beyond exhausted and fueled by stress that they took it out in their children making a negative impact, and causing the kids to grow up fearing them. So I believe that you need to do what’s best for you, and if that is childcare than that’s wonderful.