Sometimes it's not so easy. Sometimes this coworker has the boss on their side. Sometimes they've gathered a few friends, and are way ahead of you in putting any sort of ducks in a row. Sometimes people just don't see it for what it is. In my case, she didn't try and steal my work or take credit for it. It was a much more personally targeted campaign--talking about me behind my back, picking me apart personally, telling people I was doing things to her that I wasn't, playing the victim over imaginary things. Very nasty snide comments to me when no one was around. When I went to my boss, she supported her and told me maybe I was jealous of her. Unwinnable situation.
@@anonanonymous1970 You are absolutely right. It’s not that easy, these toxic people usually have more influence than the victims and they are strategically toxic only with people that have no or less power . I remember that my boss told me about this toxic person that “he is a good person.”
The thing is most of us don’t realize that our boss is the biggest toxic villain, that’s how they got that position, so they love & promote divisive work environments. It’s terribly disheartening, but many people in leadership have absolutely no integrity and perpetuate toxicity.....that's Leadership 101 for many people🤷🏽♀
This is exactly what happened to me, The co worker in question has protection from another manager making him virtually untouchable from my managers. things came to a head when i got brought into a meeting where claims of racism and descrimination were made, no evidence was given however, as i know i wasnt racist or descriminatory i got put straight onto an elevated warning when i had zero infraction history at the company (four years there) that point i gave up and started job searching, the absolute hilarity is a month later i get a surprise meeting planted on top of my weekly one on one on fridays, this meeting was placed on that wednesday. by time that meeting came on friday i was already onboarding into a new job, but as it goes the toxic co worker actually won as the job i was having the issue at let me go without cause and severence, thankfully within a week i started at a new job. my advice if you see this coming start applying and get out.
“Control your focus, control your impact and control your personal brand”…..villains are literally EVERYWHERE (at work, the grocery store, the hair salon, restaurants, etc) you have to learn how to manage your emotions and actions around them. Don’t let an idiot make you out to be a fool! As always, great advice Jennifer👏🏽
But the difference at grocery store, hair salon , and restaurants you don’t see them everyday and you have complete control of removing yourself away to a better hair salon, restaurant , grocery store and etc .
I am actually in a toxic work environment, feeling like the bad sheep because I dont gossip or dont create intrigues and I feel left alone at my office. I cant change jobs at the moment
Being the non-toxic person amongst the rest is really a disorienting situation. Because it feels like you have to be negative like them or be alienated and isolated. But there is an alternative. What if you became the person others want to be like. I mean, you're obviously not miserable (other than having to be around that enviornment all day). Because I know high achievers hang here I assume you're great at what you do. I think focusing on empowering yourself can really inspire others, but also insulate you. It's the unfuckwithable energy that you need to vibe with. Like, "you do you but don't come over here with that shit" kinda deal
I just got out of a place like that. U r in a toxic and hostile work environment. U could Collect for that just until u found something out becausr u seriously need to go. I am that same person. I am not a new nurse, but like if I get moving on this job. This guy swore he would get me out of the country Believe forever they made me feel horrible about ability as a nurse. I would be really lying agaon. I looked today said he had and erostories if I said it wasn't hey do this on purpose. Some of these other ones, I will Tell u is doing your boyfriend.
This happened to me in the gym, cos i have such great genetics an make progress quickly, the personal trainers & managers were bullying me, they turnt everyone against me, ruined my reputation, all cos they got envious.
I had a coworker that would spread rumors about other coworkers to try to get them fired. She one day took it upon herself to throw my expensive musical instruments (flute and piccolo) out of a fifth story window. I was at lunch at the time, and no one said a word to me after I got back to work. Another coworker told me what happened, and I called the police. That coworker was arrested, but my boss fired me for calling the police. This coworker was the office pet and my boss hung on every word she said. I did get unemployment and found another job. As for my former employer, his company went bankrupt.
I have been in toxic back stabbing work place. It is not fun and affects your self worth. Better thing is leaving, focus en yourself and your values. Do not engage that much with coworkers and set boundaries with what you will tolerate and what not.
I think people may need to be a lot more strategic than that. Based on my experiences, at least, I will say that when someone is sabotaging you and your work, they mean business. Some enemies are more cunning and intelligent than others. But, if someone is doing this stuff to you, it truly means they DEFINITELY want you GONE.
Reason I left my job. I am super happy now. I was trying to alert an ex-coworker about that, but my coworker did not believe me, and worse, it became friend with the bad person. I hope the truth comes out.
What about those coworkers that pretend to be super helpful with you in front of others, making you look dumb and they are your saviors. Starting commenting like "your neck get so red when you speak in public, let me do it for you"...or " I can handle the meeting as you are so stressed"...and I am like what? I never asked for this help! But If I react to this, I just prove them I am stressed (but I am just irritated!). Can you do a video about those people? They look like angels to others, but they are sharks :/
Well let me preface I'm no expert and not precisely experienced with successfully coming back from this but I've had my fair share of similar situations and do have some idea how to respond. I know maybe it's a useless idea for you but at least you may feel less alone when someone is thinking together with you. I know exactly how awful it feels when people do this. So, I'd say: do engage in conversation but take it a completely different way; do not allow the conversation to go beyond greeting and asking how they are doing. do not allow the subject of you performing your job at all. let their attempts to intrude fall on death ears while NOT physically ignoring them. you acknowledge their presence and the fact they're talking to you but you just take over the lead of the conversation. you set the frame, the subject, you become the one being much more present and in such a way overrule their frame. it's a frame battle, really. If out-framing them fails.. simply remember this 5-step escalation ladder when people throw challenges you: 1. ignore - act like you didnt see/hear/feel them as a person or do greet and smile but then completely ignore their comment as if you were lost in thought (or get creative) 2. dismiss - you super-duper-uber shortly address their comment but you give them nothing; "How sweet of you! But I am MORE THAN fine." here you blatantly exaggerate in the other direction but you act like you mean it. in this way you imply that they couldn't have been more wrong but without actually saying that out loud. (..and over time your confidence will grow and you'll come to realize that you actually do mean it like that lol) 3. question - ask what makes them think they have the authority to use the word "you" so often; acting as if they know your inner experience better than you 4. reject - if you're not physically afraid of them you can make strooooong, absolutely Piercing (yet not necessarily with the intent to be threatening) eye contact and in a very strong way, and very slowly say: "I'm fine." and you do not éver let go of the eye contact before they have heard your words and given up. and ofcourse they won't give up so you wait until they start commenting on your gaze and then you very slowly, almost like a lawyer with a don't-f-with-me-vibe say "I want you to stop. Now." with emphasis on Now. you're drawing a line in the sand here. 5. fight - you engage in an argument but you need to be ready for this and you need to make sure that you are Right; this is going to cost you a lot of energy but it may be worth it. If going for number 4: make sure you communicate it in such a crystal clear way where they cannot deny they heard AND understood you. If "necessary" to get it through their thick skull you can repeat yourself a time or two WITHIN THIS ONE-TIME INTERACTION but do not allow them to take you for a ride in this way. AFTER this interaction, under NO circumstance allow them to "forget" the boundary you presented and have you repeat yourself all over again. They heard. They understood. They know. They're just trying to get you to invest in their bs now. You are mrs "No" now. Hope this helps!!! 💙
They talk behind my back and make indirect comments to provoke me, but I am not giving it to them. I am focused on my tasks and on my boss who likes my job. I wanted to leave, but now I decided to stay lil longer to destroy them. I have no debt, I have lots of savings, so I can afford to take it easy. Hence, I'll stay here to slowly eat their brains out and win. I started to divide to concure. They will choke on their own anger. They started fighting each other already, so my strategy is working. Stay true to yourself and do not bow to negative people with bad morals, bad manners and with zero corporate work ethics. I have a mission to keep the workplace professional and fun.
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.rrrr
It’s exhausting always dealing with all types of narcissists in the workplace. It feels like being a freelancer getting paid for the good shit you do is the best method to avoid toxic lower level (individual contributor) company politics.
These people were probably bullies in school, and they’ve never learned to handle their insecurities in a healthy manor. Not to mention they peaked early, and have never had that much influence since.
I was in a situation where I was attacked by my co-workers, it was yelling, gaslighting, lie, direct threat, they were pretty well organized in it. I’ve never in my life experienced anything like that before, I couldn’t understand what’s going on, I complained to my manager cz I did not want to be involved in this, because if you involved in it, it’s difficult to see who is right, who is wrong. my manager did not do anything about it, I decided to leave when I realize they will destroy my life, my career, my reputation. I loved the job, my relationship with my manager was fantastic, but I just could not take it anymore
That's what they wanted you to do though. I'm having the same experience but not to your extent yet. I like my work and want to work atleast til I save enough money. Hopefully theyre the ones that will quit
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.pp
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.yyyy
I needed this. Thank you for the wisdom. I was getting depressed about a colleague who tried to stab me in the back, and this made me feel infinitely better. It's important to build a network and get along with others but coworkers are not your friends!
I hate toxic coworkers and I have never found a job I like enough to fight them for it. I usually just find another job and move on because I am tired of idiots making my life hell because they are insecure. I don't pay attention to those who bad-mouth others, those are not people I am going to ask anything from. I don't understand why anyone would want to listen to that mess and then defend it unless they are like that too. I hate being in the position where I'm the only one who sees it, I don't believe that. I think they do see it they are just too scared that they will have that nastiness turned on them so they complement the toxic worker on a job well done in order to stay in good graces with a p.o.s., you can have them and you don't deserve those who can see them for what they are. It's like babysitting a brat that no one wants to deal with. When I am the boss and people start kissing my ass that is when I am done with that person. Kissing ass is the equivalent of saying that person does not have the ability, integrity, or respect that I would require from my people. It's insulting to everyone.
I 100% agree with you. I work with an extremely rude arrogant coworker who was put in charge to help train me. Instead of being appreciative of taking the load off their backs they bad mouthed me to the manager. The manager would compliment me & then the coworker would say “Well she didn’t do this. She didn’t do that.” I’ve noticed some people make their job their identity. Like I’m there to build skills & save money to go back to school but the job doesn’t pay enough to deal with this bullshit. The manager told me she makes tons of mistakes and now they say the toxic worker is so good blah blah blah.
I minimized contact with a few coworkers in my early career. They were so annoying and unproductive because they liked gossiping. I almost ignored them because I didn't need to work directly with them.
Thank you for reminding me that I need to realize I’m dealing with someone who you can’t change. AND that the best way to handle them is to not let your emotions ruin your credibility when standing up to them in front of your superior
Always a mistake but never praise. 1000s of tasks done but one mistake was spotted and posted for all to see and ends with 'No big deal'. If no big deal then why post it? I find that toxic.
It's nice to triumph over a substandard or devious co- worker - so hang in there for the satisfaction of proving your worth & their lack of worth. Thanks Jennifer 😃 !
If someone is attacking you, when you have never done anything wrong by them, then, that person is the problem. They are the one who deserves to be terminated, not someone who is good and just trying to do his or her job.
@@anonanonymous1970 Absolutely. Because they are focused on making you look bad, and/or making themselves look good at your expense. And, because managers tend to see what's on the surface instead of what really may be going on, they get a false impression. Thus, the snake gets to stay .
@@coreyanderson7424 Couldn't agree more. But most people who attack their coworkers do so because they know they'll get away with it and it will benefit them.
@@coreyanderson7424 Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.oooo
"Do you care about them?" I started laughing lmfao 😂Couldn't be a more clear "no". My coworker is very young, inexperienced and insecure, and regularily lashes out on me and shames me in front of others because I'm taking the spotlight from her. Yes, we're talking personal and unprofessional attacks. Thank you for this, it came right on time 🙏
I think this is great advice and thank you so much Jennifer! I would say that the blindspot here dealing with individuals with narcissistic behavior where giving them "uplifting compliments" and stoking their ego helps to reassure their behavior is okay, continuing and spreading the cycle.
Live below your means at all times, even if you can afford more!!! The world is so crooked, it's not worth it to buy expensive things or plan lavish trips. At this point the true luxury is just keeping a roof over your head incase some spoiled brat coworker (s) (of any age) decide they see you as a threat for whatever reason.
I have one of these. She’s the bosses niece. She was unjustly promoted after just 3 months having never worked before. She’s now my boss and will do everything she can to make me look bad
Never work in a company where the employees are related or girlfriends or boyfriends with the other employees. That will be nothing but a headache! I see why that’s not allowed in alot of places, it’s very toxic and rarely works out for the people not related to or dating within the company. I worked in a company like that and it was a nightmare.
Yeah I can’t wait to finish my training to I can get away from my toxic coworker. I got moved next to her and my boss refuses to move me back or do anything about it. I’m so sick of it!!
I work in a Government sector and these types of coworkers are the ones that get Promoted and Favored! It's getting harder to do your job and learn to navigate when the toxic coworker has favor with the management......like someone else said, it's not always black and white with these situations..alot of strategically spun gray areas!!
In my experience, excellent work performance does not give you power or the benefit of the doubt - rather, pandering to the boss does. Co-workers who are trying to drag you down (or do nothing while you do all of their work) are very good at sucking up to the boss. What do you do in this situation?
I just think that bosses don't care that much about what you're doing for the company, unless they own the company. Most bosses care about what you can for/to THEM and their self-centered agendas. So why would they keep/believe/reward anyone who didn't pander to them? I work in social justice academia and have naively believed that bosses would want what's best for social justice. Nope!
I think that there is clearly a common misconception about how workplaces supposedly reward, in the long run, "excellent good work". They don't, sometimes. Sure, it's good to have the approach that is upright, and demonstrates integrity, professionalism and a positive attitude as well. But, I agree that unfortunately, this positive approach is not rewarded many times. But, sometimes it certainly is rewarded. So, yes, we do need to learn how to protect and bolster our job by projecting the image that seems to convey best, that we are the best person for the job and especially, the company. But also, socially acceptable, if you know what I mean.
So true.The lazy ones that suck up to the managers are always in better situation. I have noticed that the employees who work hard are pushed even harder to make up for the laziness of others.
I have a colleague who's supposed to be my 'partner' on a particular aspect of the business & instead, he's going around telling people he's my boss, which isn't the case. We both roll up under the same manager. And while this colleague is technically senior to me, he doesn't need to be treating me like I know nothing. He's very good at politics...meeting w/the 'right' people...everybody apparently loves this guy, but I see right through him. His attitude towards me is demeaning & arrogant.
The company I work for is so incredibly toxic. There’s only 25-30 people and they all talk badly about eachother, there’s a very competitive and defensive nature in general. I’m so anxious and insecure in this role, and I’m losing sleep. Not sure what to do.
Omg, seriously my ex coworker is obsessed. She started sleeping with my boyfriend behind my back after I left my job and totally destroyed my relationship. I still see her and I wonder, is she really nuts or is it a coincidence?
@@Sweetheart0189 For the longest time I felt like I was going crazy because neither of them would admit it. Throwing it in my face years after my SO and I broke up was the icing on the cake for her I guess. The betrayal and feeling like I've been a huge joke to the whole world is so hard to get over.
I struggle with when to pull the revenge card and highlight the lack of effort and incompetence of my critic who I have to work with and depend on but who is more than happy to complain and cc my boss.
Wow! Oh my God... This video is timed perfectly for me... I have a big question... How do I show value, but not outshine my manager. She is purposely trying to keep me from greater responsibilities by giving me unimportant work to do. I am under attack by her "flying monkeys"... I started a new job and I am WAY MORE experienced and qualified than my manager for her position. That was the only position available so I took it. She is resisting training me and badmouthing me to all her fellow managers. Behind my back of course... Absolutely excellent video, as usual. Thank you so much!
She's jelaous because she as every insecure person does not want competition!!! I had similar situation with managers with 10+ years of experience.... Shame of them.
I think your advice sounds pretty solid! You have many good points. I will say though that having someone undermine you, no matter how confident you are or the damage that is being done, is invalidating. If you worked hard only to have someone criticize you, it's frustrating. I like your point about resting assured that you will be fine when your coworker isn't influencing your boss, but even still it doesn't really have anything to do with the person who is being embarrassed. That's just going to hurt no matter what.
"sounds" "though" how's that compliment-criticism sandwiching technique going for you? hahah i know you mean well but just had this lingering itch of frustration while writing it although ofcourse you're right about the invalidation part your comment has helped me
It’s cuz you’re awesome and most likely pretty and good at your job. People aren’t jealous of people they think are below them. Co workers, especially female can be awful!
Happened to me at DHS-TSL, when I pointed out errors in their strategies and use of statistics methods. So, the management team, who did not understand the subject at all, enlisted a colleague to protect them and sabotage me. He was previously suspended for an ethics violation. The place was toxic narcissistically abusive workplace. There was a compounding problem was also between my former workplace and its "customer", which also exerted undue influence and also was guilty of questionable strategies and misunderstanding of basic statistical reasoning. There was no recourse. All parties hd done this to others before me. This was a closed system with years of reinforcement. I was sandwiched between two narcissists. I had to fire them, due to incompetency and ethical violations Some situations are too far gone to ameliorate .
People in government jobs understand that many are there as welfare with dignity recipients. They are always over their heads but cannot be fired because of Title VII. Others do their work but they get kicked upstairs.
@@mkervelegan i guess what shocked me was the pretense of knowledge about a field where they had no training and even more the ferocity at which they would retaliate while continuing to screw up projects and blame shifting. It was like an alternative universe. Also, the willingness of some colleagues to be used as agents of triangulation. The system encourages narcissistic behavior.
Best advice is to stand your ground say no and get angry in a non violent be strong yet firm fashion if you have to and they’ll run crying and won’t bother you again. In my last job as a tech specialist for a well known home internet and broadband company when I used to live in New Zealand where I’ve had fallen fault to other coworkers misstates and fatal errors having it all blamed all on myself when all I did was answer the phone and had to deal with the fall out. So my advice is to stand your ground make notes of all interactions and conversations and sadly yes narc first before they do or you’ll be finding yourself trying to defend yourself against wild accusations.
My workplace features Wailing Willie. She's never wrong, she's always the most important, she thought of it first, screams the woman with two mortgages in default. No one talks to her because she fabricates a self-serving barbed criticism of any new item to leverage a personal advantage. She brings her little red wagon of domestic miseries into the office daily and spends most of the day on the phone with her attorneys and members of her dysfunctional family. And then wonders perennially why she can't move out and up. Because it's a civil service job and unfortunately you may be supporting her with your tax revenues.
Same situation here right now. In the first few weeks the coworkers were already sending emails to manager stating I wasn't doing things and one coworker claimed I was gossiping about the managers family. The manager basically told me that he believes them because he knows them more. Lol
3:15 for sure! The only person what will speak up for you is yourself! Sure, you can desire your boss to speak up for you, but to be able to stand up for yourself is the greatest growth and maturity! Show that you know your work My director is the toxic one and he would always speak up for his direct reports (one foolish phd for example). Instead of the phd colleague speaking up for himself, he goes cries to the director for help!
Hope you are doing well today. The work. And details you put in to the videos is amazing. I joined because. You always trying to help people you will get mixed comments. But look at the number of people you have joined your channel. Have a good day
A coworker lost her temper and screamed in my face the other day. She is unhinged and very problematic. I should have filed a harassment report. I used a passive demeanor to deescalate her. But I don't feel safe working with her. I wish she would transfer to another branch.
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life. vbb
No job is worth dealing with the disrespect and hostility, I get that people need to work and make money and everything is so expensive, but I feel like unless a job is paying at least $28 an hour, at best, it’s not even worth it. It really affects your mental health and soon after your physical health will suffer too. I work hard at my job and I like it alot, but the director has started to micromanage me and it’s on the borderline of harassment I feel like. The pay isn’t good at all and i can’t even afford my rent on what I make a month, so I’m really struggling right now. So I’m stressed out because of how I’m treated and my bills. One thing I do know is that, working harder won’t fix a problem like this, if a manger doesn’t like you for whatever reason, nothing is going to change that. Guaranteed. It’s best to be in business for yourself, which of course is easier said than done. Ain’t life grand.
Yeah I just got fired because I was a newer person and a lady who is on the same paygrade and position as me has been there a long time and she was speaking to me in a demeaning way. And I had a problem with another lady doing this to me before she did it, and later I found out that she was asked by this lady to do that. It was hard to get any support from the admin because she has some sort of strange influence over them. I head her say "I tell them what to do and they do it." I tried to go through the chain of command about it but was told to show her that I can stand up for myself. So the next time she did it I told her she was being demeaning and had even done this to me in front of children. She screamed at me "BACK OFF!" The next day I was fired. People have filed grievances against her, she has made women her own age cry, and had screaming matches with other coworkers. I didnt yell at her she yelled at me. But they fired me and said I wasnt a good fit. Before I was walked out I told them that there is a clear disadvantage dor new people coming into this environment. Everyone at that job is respectful to each other, but she is given a pass for some reason and has a long tenure. I have to wonder if shes married to someone influencial or if her tactics are just that good with admin that she gets to co trol others because they feel they can have someone supervise others unofficially. In hindsight would I have handled some things differently? Yes, but are they setting people up to fail in a toxic environment where certain people are trying to prove an unoffical rank over everyone? Yes. Still feeling awful about this as it was only a few days ago. There is no protection for new people and their training is unclear and then the only way you find out something they havent trained you in correctly is by getting spoken down to like you are trying not to do the job well on purpose. Toxic environment. They are short staffed across the board and this lady is working against them in this, though, they side with her in the end. And I dont have bad feelings about her as a person. Only the issue where she would stand unseen to watch and find mistakes then come at you in a certain way when you're not expecting it.
look let me tell you this working for someone else suck you will never be truly valued dloesn;t matter how hward you workmand even your coworkers will treay you like shit that is why when i was younger and went through al this i decided to start saving money and investing and leaving the rat race now i have acouple apaertments ins spain and rent them out and work cleaning on the side no sgtres and getting paid well and hopefully treitre soon im 27
I already made peace with the fact I may lose my job because of the level of gaslighting, putting words in my mouth and my manager is good friends with two of my coworkers making my workday living hell. I am new in department and I just know nothing I say will make them believe me. It's much easier to believe the new face is lazy then to think maybe this person who claims you are a bad worker is the one that is actually a bad worker. We see in others what we have in ourselves. I have one coworker friend, but I don't except her to come to my aid if things get ugly. They are basically bribing her with affection, food, how she is so pretty, so hardworking and I am none of it. I am there to earn my pay and I am not interested in spending time to suck up to my coworkers. I don't intend to stay there for years which they do. I have high ambitions.
Agree ! We can only control what is in our sphere to control.Thank you for an another motivational video. You are looking pretty in this video Jennifer! 🥰
I dont know where to start about toxic coworkers. I worked with my brother in law being at a higher post than me. He has a failing marriage with my sister. He along with others bullied and targetted me. Spread lies , make me look like someone who passes comments about people appearances. I was horrified hearing these allegations. Only my mistakes are overexagerrated and put on group chat. My manager hates me as he is good friends with the others. Just to add in, i had no hand in the failing marriage. I have decided to quit after 2 years
I am really good at what I do, and my job makes me happy. Unfortunately, toxic people are everywhere. But this mantra, 'FOCUS, IMPACT, and BRAND', serves as a great reminder to realign my vibe. Instead of exhausting myself too much on toxic individuals, I find it's better to channel that energy into my work and continuous study. By the end of the day, I feel like a free agent with a stellar resume, work experience, and portfolio.
You just never know what you will be walking into...I turned down a fantastic job to take a job that sounded perfect for me , part time and was close to my home. Then came the TOXIC co worker. I had years of experience, plenty of education in the field and knew what I was doing. But she outplayed me. I was hit totally off guard. I agree with respondent ellen, "Sometimes this coworker has the boss on their side. She did...."Sometimes they've gathered a few friends, and are way ahead of you in putting any sort of ducks in a row." She did.. "Sometimes people just don't see it for what it is" Yep, that is exactly what happened.... But In my case, she DID steal my work, take credit for it. when I volunteered suggestions at work and my boss liked it, Brown nose would do it before I had a chance to...and it was MY idea! She would hang around and listen to me talking to guests, and then copy my demeanor and what I said, Brown loser was pretty much straight out of college and would do anything to get attention from the boss, even swat flies for her! "When I went to my boss, she supported her and told me maybe I was jealous of her....are you F ing kidding?!! I ended up looking for another job but my bosses boss let ME go! first! I was shocked. So really, I lost 2 jobs in 2 months & Lost self esteem as well. What does one do about these types of people? Your boss will not listen, and turn it around on you???
A possible video idea? How does one apply as much effort and efficiency to their outside life as they do to their work life? Allow me elaborate: I've always been a hard worker, thinking multiple days ahead, taking into account everyone and everything around me to have things go as smooth as possible. But when it comes to my day to day, I have only a 3rd of that drive and it's something I've been very much struggling with.
I'm working on a bunch of stuff around this so I'm glad you're here! Part of this is having identities that aren't based on work, and on the other hand I think it's about prioritizing yourself, loving yourself and feeling fully empowered to having an amazing life (that obviously impacts work).
Welcome to my life.. I often wonder how someone can devote all their attn to someone whose not bothering them.. Its as if this guy wants to replace my wife 🤔🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️
It's weird, but i'm actually running or have run into this in a machine shop of all places, i'm really just focused on great setups and running through work and i'm stuck with a guy who i unofficially became in charge up who's breaking things and blaming me for not being more of a team player and telling him what to do. It's fairly odd, but luckily you can only break so many 300 dollar things till the bosses just get fed up and move you over or out. Dealing with it though in a hard environment like that can be max level stress though.
I think you need to be diplomatic and let them know, it’s not acceptable and it want be tolerated by you. This is a professional environment and if you have a problem maybe we both need to address it with upper management, I guarantee you won’t hear another word. People only go after who they perceive as weak. You don’t have to be mean just firm and a matter of fact. Get some savings stored that way your will feel more secure. I use to be nice, the minute you stand up for yourself..crickets, they will find another target as they are miserable people
Care about the safety of fellow coworkers yet absolutely exhausted by the way people think and having to navigate around arguments especially if the person should be speaking to someone else/addressing with the manager who is responsible directly. When you work in areas that hire all walks of life instead of industry specific people you realize you lived a dream workplace in the past and psychology takes over your life trying to understand others. Also, positive vibes..... realizing yesterday that repeat problems can zap positive vibes after years of dealing with the issue(no control or authority to change). Have to figure out the last question. Seems like the answer may be a moving target as you grow and change.
Give that person a serious warning about what can happen to them but wait till after work hours ,you warn them how u really want to . It's a very dangerous to try to sabotage a person of a honest bread .
Yep. Someone who I befriended because they had no friends is trying to destroy me now. I told them to do it. I have nothing to hide because God is on my side and I never did anything wrong but they’re trying to use me to elevate themselves by gaining sympathy from the fake scenario they made up in their head. Blaming me for something someone else did to them and they took this persons side. I’ve been nothing but genuine so I just blocked them a few hours ago to protect my peace.
And because very difficult when this individual has been at an organization for a long time and you are new. They tend to shut down your ideas and suggestions, so we are not in any supervisory level. But because of their history in the organization, they have a rapport with upper management.
On jobs there are people who will do whatever to destroy someone. Some do that on the basis that they will do whatever to get ahead. Or on the other hand it can go even further than that. There are people who believe that they know who the evil people are. And they also believe with such people there's only one way to handle them.
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.ccc
Best way to avoid being sabotaged is to keep your stat mid level. You see if you do really well managers will antagonize the less productive with you as the benchmark. The competitive work place is toxic in that way.
Many have tried, all have failed. 8 years of making the right moves and kissing the right behinds have made me virtually indestructible. I love when new comers take a disliking to me and attempt to stab me in the back. The knife slips right out of their grip and falls on their foot, leaving them limping away like the scared little puppies they are. The veterans know better than to go down that road with me. But don't mistake my confidence for cockiness. I'm always working to keep those vital relationships in tact and protect my image If someone is successfully sabotaging you, you have no one to blame but yourself. Having the right people on your side goes a long way, and if you don't have that, it's time to get started.
Dear, I will start posting my work on business social media, documenting my work and posting publicaly, email them where I find the space and nobody (nobody) will take credit for my hard work!!!!!!! Never anymore.
I just act like a maniac with few to no words in my responses with pauses in between. This allows for uncertainties that people can't predict the ball will be in your court
I love this content. But I have to be honest, I love being reported to supervisors most of the time because the very extremely few times it had happened, it was exceedingly obvious that I was right, and they were wrong. Sometimes I have to wonder, does this make me a toxic coworker?
Omg earphones. I confronted the boss about a toxic coworker (who also happens to speak so loudly she practically shreeks and doesn't let anyone else get a word in), and after pointing out unethical behavior by this person I told our boss that I would be wearing earphones for a week or two simply to drown out the sound of this person's voice. The boss chuckled.
Hi. I’m a nurse in Australia. I participated in a HR investigation against Colleague A by providing a witness statement supporting the complainant, Colleague B. In responding to the complaint, Colleague A accused Colleague B of racism and made a career ending sexual misconduct allegation against me. I was cleared by CCTV and witnesses but the allegation has permanently affected my reputation. Colleagues A and B are permanently employed whereas I am a Casual. What would you do?
Its like the guy from suvivor tv show learn to flip it on them! get people to question this person in their minds, make up shit about what this worker is doing to you and spread it to other workers who dislike this person without name dropping! I use clients and quest as my advocates to create a circle and i would say: one of my clients caught him/her in a lie or i could here their name coming up near the water cooler with nasty coments! It sucks we have to deal with these idiots and suck ups but they come at me its game on! I would never start somthing, only when attacked!
Here's a great question what if they are taking over projects that you do not have access to or you do not have time to work on because you're trying to keep else flowing? For me, there is something that I stopped doing so it wouldn't seem like it was a competition, and this person is who has less than two years in the workforce. I tried advocating for them, and they are simply a mean young person. So I have to do the adult thing by ignoring the behavior.