Your Ex Cant Decide on What They Want?

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Clay Andrews answers the question on what to when Your Ex Can't Decide On What They Want.
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There are different factors that affect how your ex decides on big things like whether or not they would want to get back together with you. In this video, Clay Andrews tells you what to do when your ex can't decide on what they want.
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This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.

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Опубликовано:

1 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 62

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Thanks for watching this video. I hope you're doing well during these crazy times. If you need to, take a step back, breathe, and remind yourself that you deserve to be loved for who you are.

@melissabean6634 4 года назад

Pandemic break up is killing me. I want to get back with my ex but I don’t know how much of it is driven by the isolation due to corona. Haven’t been able to do normal things that people normally do after break up - see family, hang out with friends, go out and get smashed, dance and sing in a club, go abroad, travel, see the world. Even normal stuff like go to the office. Can’t do shit. Can’t move on. Can’t eat, can’t sleep. Can’t even do ANC as so lonely. How the hell do you rebuild after 12 years?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi Melissa, I understand that the limitations that we face right now can cause a lot of anxiety. But given the current situation, what are the things that you can do to manage your healing process?

@jeanafranklin1231 4 года назад

Or rebuild after 18 years together..2 years apart but neither has moved on with anyone else...

@melissabean6634 4 года назад

Clay Andrews I feel unable to do anything Clay. I feel stuck - I’m still speaking to my ex and I sound desperate. I’ve lost everything - shes still in the house with the dog and a semblance of normal. We talk sometimes about getting back together but the way I am at the moment I know I’m just sounding desperate. Ex told me today that I need to find my self worth. I know the way I am right now is super unattractive. I’m struggling to be present and think about the future when I’m so stuck in the past. I fucked up so many things and we lost our connection - stopped communicating but it wasn’t a lack of love. She’s a mix of feeling sorry for me and genuinely missing me. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Everything looks so dark for me right now

@melissabean6634 4 года назад

Jeana Kirkbride how are you handling things Jeana?

@user-jj7ly9xy1z 4 года назад

Melissa Bean. I am going through the same thing. We were married for 11 years and he left me about 6 months ago. I still have to communicate with him since we have a child. Everytime i see him i cry break down and ask him to come home. We will get through this

@badly_dubbed2401 4 года назад

Clay I want to thank you for all your wise words of wisdom. Your videos changed my perspective and now after 2 months I have my girl back and things are better than ever. I know there is a lot of hard work ahead but I’m in a much more positive place to conquer it. So yeah, thank you again my friend, from Jamie in the UK.

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

You are so welcome. Glad to hear that our videos have helped you on your journey. :-)

@NostalgicVibes 4 года назад

How did you literally make a video at the perfect time. My ex wants to hang out but doesn’t. Reason I say that is because she put off hanging out for 4 weeks. We had a great conversation while texting though! I wasn’t needy. She reached out to me first too. Was a good quick conversation. Edit: Just going to keep having these small conversations with her and slowly work our way up to a strong emotional connection. Thanks Clay 🙏🏻

@rsoxx74 4 года назад

I'm going on my 4th date with the X on Saturday. We are both still casually dating other people. I've been following your advice and I do see the emotional connection building. I'm still not putting all of my eggs in one basket because you never know but thank you for all your help.

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

That's great to hear, Bob. All the best on your date. :-)

@christopherhill3067 3 года назад

Update

@rsoxx74 3 года назад

@@christopherhill3067 thanks for asking. We continued casually dating all year and she ended things 2 more times. The last time was a few weeks ago. I told her I'm not playing this game anymore and we can never speak again. She absolutely has BPD. She knows but refuses to get help. A year of push/pull, lies and selfish manipulation. After this colossal waste of time I am firmly agreeing that once an ex leaves you just let it go. It will never be the same and they will do it again.

@Dolphinsz 3 месяца назад

Ex and i are talking more now on text than we ever did when dating laughing emojies

@stopmotionerstudios483 4 года назад

Right now its like walking on eggshells with my ex. She's in a rebound and still seems to be attached to our breakup. She's being kinda of petty and tries to pick mini fights in class with me. It's like a hot and cold reaction with her. I tried to tell her that was she should be friends but it's not working out as great. I was thinking about giving her a proper apology handwritten but with her acting like this I'm not sure when or if I should give it to her, and I'm worried she’ll be relationship focus and will pull away. What's should I do?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hey there, giving an apology letter is not about when or if you should do. Apology letter is our way of taking ownership and accountability of what happened. It is our way of humbling ourselves showing them that we are in acceptance. How your ex will respond to the letter is already beyond your control. What is important is the sincerity that you bring out regardless of the outcome.

@guccihello4046 4 года назад

Make a video about if your ex start to make everyrhing like normal as friend

@gracelepri-valitutti2633 4 года назад

What if he is seeing someone already 9 months, yet this happens between us

@tonyrossi6459 3 года назад

We’re spending a lot of time together, getting to know each other again, even spent the night together in bed, no sex, but not affectionate at all. Ex-wife, been apart 20 years, but always stayed in touch...weird right? I know I want us to try again, confused about her though.

@keshakellogg5995 Год назад

Hey, Tony! I'm intrigued by your story. How has this worked out for you with your ex-wife?

@Mezaph 4 года назад

I don't even know what he wants. He wanted to meet up the first few times we got back in contact, but now he's always too busy. He helps me a LOT. I mean, legal stuff, money, he does favors for me and replies with concern and seems to care, gives me long hugs goodbye when he does see me, but otherwise I rarely hear from him and he never suggests getting together anymore. Just a people pleaser with NO interest or doesn't know what he wants?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

It could be that he is still at the Test Drive Phase as well where he still feels guarded emotionally.

@sbron21 4 года назад

I am now always chatting with my ex, actually everyday and talked about anything but 'til now I dont know if she wants to go back with me. But she also said that they are on a call-off with her new boyfriend. My question is do we have a chance of being together?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi Norbs, The chance of getting back together will always be there. Like what we always said, it really depends on the actions that you will take and refuse to do.

@toms81162 4 года назад

A couple of days a go I texted my ex for help. I have a small business and the busy season is coming up and out of stupid knee jerk desperation I asked her for help. I work 12-14 hr days at times. Since we are not together I told her Id pay her $2.00 a pick up. Im on her way to work and the package is no more than a pound, so really not out of her way. Anyways my point, she is more than happy to help, refused the money-whatever, she has no problem meeting up, no sex. What the heck? She does all this stuff, wont talk about the break up, or getting back together. I have no clue, Yeah sure I'll come over. No problem, Ill help you. Does she do this to string me along or she really indecisive?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi Tom, I don't think she is stringing you along but it sounds like she is sincerely offering her help because she understood your business. Since this is a business matter, it doesn't has to involve your personal relationship at times.

@sarbear1370 4 года назад

Hi Clay, you're videos are very helpful, could you perhaps do a specific video on how to apply your advice when you work with your ex and therefore see them almost everyday? Thank you for your help :)

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi Sarah, There are no technical ways of applying the advice. What you can do is internalize and learn the things that we advocate and start practicing them. It is all about putting them into action and pushing yourself to go out of your comfort zone.

@robertbarnum2110 3 года назад

Hi Clay, My ex is hot and cold wants to do stuff with my son and I quite a bit, then she doesn't respond or communicate, then boom we are back to doing stuff. Help.

@junespencer8285 3 года назад

My ex is hot * cold. We text we've hung out shes in s rebound. She says she's not her gf. She says she's not happy and texted me 1 night if I wanted to help her look for an apartment. She flirts with me and I told her I'd help her. But then gets silent with me... what should I do?

@williamdolan7189 Год назад

My ex says she isn’t ready and doesn’t know what she wants? But we do talk everyday and have a weekly coffee date?

@JM-if9my 4 года назад

So my ex is currently sleeping with a guy just about every night. However, she and I hang out a few times a week and our connection is really good together. But this guy just doesn’t seem to leave because she just wants to be friends for now with me. How do I get him out of the way so that we can progress forward?

@ClanClanInc 4 года назад

I am in a very similar situation. Also should I confront my ex in any way about her rebound? I currently see a therapist and she warned me to stay away from rebounds bc they’re unhealthy. Should I share the information he gave me?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi JM, Remove the guy on the equation and focus between you and your ex. You cannot remove the other person but you can progress depending on how you would handle the relationship and bring your self in the interaction. This is where the Decoy Strategy that we talk about inside the Ex Solution Program would come in.

@brettming9015 3 года назад

Also as Clay sometimes says would her rebound be uncomfortable with some things your ex says to you or you guys talk about? Focus on the connection for sure.

@barbersmurff2592 4 года назад

Hey clay what do we do when it’s more of an external like a rebound relationship that’s stopping the connection?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi Barber, Honestly, that is already beyond our control. But it can be an opportunity for you to apply the Decoy Strategy that we talk about inside the Ex Solution Program. Eventually your ex will realize the difference between being with you and the rebound as his true character is showing up.

@barbersmurff2592 4 года назад

Clay Andrews ur the man bro

@williamdolan7189 Год назад

My ex has both going on internally and external ugh it’s going to be a long road lol

@Joe-jy8dw 4 года назад

My man glad your back hope your weekend was good and i need your help my ex is getting cheated on by her current rebound

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hi Joe, going through that experience with a rebound may be truly emotional for her. I hope you'll also give her some time to process her pain before you push your agenda in getting her back. We have to be mindful of her emotions as well.

@Joe-jy8dw 4 года назад

I am giving her space im on day 36 NC which hurts alot but im doing it for me and her to do what she wants

@celestenova338 2 года назад

Dating my ex again, but I finally decided to set a boundary about not having sex until we’re committed again. Yes we were still having sex during the dating stage, but it’s a new boundary I want to implement and I think that’s ok. BUT now he’s being distant and has not made up his mind after saying he wanted to be together. It’s been 2 months since we started dating again and HE was the one who said he’s going to win me back 😑

@fuliviacannady7703 Год назад

How are things now?

@syeda8t6 4 года назад

Hello there & thanks for amazing videos My question is What to do when an ex cant settle his resentments, only responds positively when i start some topic!? Im kind of confuse that after all the efforts why an ex holding on angers Should i distant myself to avoid getting hurt ? Also its 3 months gone & we are long distance so do you think is there any hope?

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

Hey Syeda, Definitely, hope will always be there. When it comes to your ex's resentment, it is something that he needs to work on. He may need some time to process and forgive what happened in the past and be more in full acceptance. You may want to check this video as well >> ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WFbXdyvAyE0.html

@cartoonz4462 4 года назад

Hey Clay, I went through full NC and my ex started contacting me again and texting me almost every day but she still wasn't ready to commit again. So i told her that she's only making this more difficult to me and i told her to only contact me if she thinks we can work this out again and get back together. I really want her back but that's why I can't help but wonder if that was the right thing to say and will that make her rethink the whole situation... Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

I think you did good in explaining to her. But I think it is uncalled for to tell her to only contact you if she thinks she can work it out and get back together as it may sound like you are giving her an ultimatum.

@cartoonz4462 4 года назад

@@ClayAndrews Thanks for the advice but do you think I ruined my chances of getting back with her by saying that?

@CrazyD993 4 года назад

Hi Clay! I’ve recently been back in contact with my ex after around a year apart. After 2 months of chatting I made the comment that it would be nice for us to get to know each other a bit better again. She replied saying “She kinda wants to be alone and work on herself and other aspects of her life and that she was happy with how we currently are but didn’t think it was a good idea for either of us to ‘get to know each other better’.” My question is do you think this is an excuse and is trying to blow me off? Or that it could be quite a genuine response? Just trying to figure if this is dead in the water and not worth continuing the work? Thanks again for all your great work! -Dee

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

I don't think she is blowing you off, Dee. I would still give her the benefit of the doubt and trust her. Remember that your ex is also struggling emotionally ands they also have their own stages just like you.

@CrazyD993 4 года назад

Clay Andrews Thanks Clay appreciate you taking the time to get back to me. Will take this all into consideration as I move forward and try to build a stronger emotional connection. All the best to you and your family, hope the big move goes well! -Dee

@졔-c5o 4 года назад

He said he doesn't know whether he wants me 2 weeks ago because he has feeling to me but he has strong doubts on our relationship. But 1 week ago, he decided to move on. He said it's over to him. What can I do? Should I just let him go?

@졔-c5o 4 года назад

I want to get him back and we were ldr

@ClayAndrews 4 года назад

HI Katie, Letting go is different from moving on. At times, we have to let go of the person so we can work in our healing process and maybe start things over from a clean slate. Always try to identify what you exactly mean by letting go.