As a dumpee, the only reason we go passive on an ex is dont forget that they are the one who dumped you. We dont owe them anything. Specially when your ex is still in a new “real” relationship and suddenly checks on you? What for? Keeping tabs? Why do they even wanna talk if they are still in a rebound relationship right?
I'm subscribed to your channel and have seen most of the videos during the past 8 months and you always do a good job of explaining things in a non-judgmental way and you are sincere as well. After watching a video of yours, I usually walk away feeling more calm and balanced. I usually learn something new, but even if I don't learn anything new, just hearing you calmly discuss things that are very emotional topics, makes me feel better and realize that I'm doing so much better than I was 1,2, or 5 years ago. Your advice has helped me greatly too. You do a great service and help many people, so please keep up the good work and enjoy yourself, and you'll get more followers than you ever expected. 👍👍✌
Clay, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video. It's clarified so much for me. This has been an emotionally crippling experience in my life. My ex and I are divorced, and share 3 toddlers together, but we are so in love, and have been on a journey that I could write a best-selling novel over. You just touched on exactly what I needed to hear! Wish me luck! I love this man more than life itself!
Hi Norrona, Thanks for the feedback and we made adjustments in our new videos. I hope it sounds better as compared to those of the past days. :-) Thanks for watching out videos as well.
By the time my ex boyfriend and his rebound break up I will be with someone else. He’s taking too long. It’s been 2 months with his rebound and I’m getting over him now. I’m not waiting for him to realize what he lost.
Hey clay, love your videos, but the audio sounds really bad in the last few vids, as if it's to loud or if the mic is oversaturated, could be the youtube quality.
Hey this video is good! Tbh we aren't moving since my ex now is in relationship but it seems like my ex is comparing me a lot to her current one like she always find ways to say her partner is better than me and I was like 'woaah chill' lmao
Im literally going through this right now!! We broke up 2 weeks ago got back in contact 1 week ago. She responds to texts and we laugh and joke and abit of flirting shes asking how i am now instead of saying i hope youre well. but sometimes i can wait hours for a response. Im trying to get a call with her or a meet up but theres always an excuse... what do i do clay??? We broke up because i became needy and overbearing because of other stuff in my life
Hi clay thanks for your knowledgeable videos!! My ex and I are in contact. Been having really good interactions. We even kiss eachother on the cheek whenever we meet up. I initiate it but she reciprocated without hesitation. She told me she dosnt like to kiss on the lips because it confuses her. My question is... how can I tell the difference between riding the dragon and crisis stage? She dosnt act cold but she dosnt initiate meeting up or say she misses me or wants to get back together.
Is it too late for me? We were connecting until she sort of called me out and said it's not the right time for us to date, and we havent spoken to each other for two weeks now? Am I boned to try and connect with her now?
Hi Sue, thanks for sharing your concern. First, we have to understand that what we can control in this situation is just us and not the other person. If the person is emotionally unavailable, there could be several core reasons why he felt that way. Though we may not be able to change someone to become emotionally unavailable, but you have to check with your 5 x5 list if the person that you are trying to get back with is aligned with your personal values.
He is a good man and we have so many common interest. His ex wife abandoned him and left him with the kids. He has anxiety and depression too. All I can is try and reach out once in awhile. He told me he has walls up and he is shut down. The you for your response. I love your style.
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
This is superior advice, this is really going to help shift things for us, for sure. The only thing is, I have all my own concerns and doubts, but I don't see him taking responsibility or realising his part in things. But maybe I have to make the first step...his main complaints in the relationship were he didn't feel validated or heard... I've definitely done the work and feel I can do that. Maybe that's why he reached out yesterday to say "You were such an asshole to me. I can't believe I put up with that." Maybe he wants me to show him I've changed... hmm. Maybe I should try to connect with him emotionally about it, show the empathy and understanding... This was after it was going really well, and then I didn't reach out for 3 weeks, as he probably expected me to. 'Cause I initiated 4 times, and didn't want to chase or be the only one making myself vulnerable. Maybe he finds being invulnerable/blaming the easiest and safest thing to do. He can't sort of say he wants to talk, just says I was an asshole, lol. Not very helpful, but I'm trying to do the emotional translation... This is tough, but damnit Clay you have inspired me to keep trying... I've worked so hard on this/myself for 6 months now. I want to see what's on the other side of all this anger/hurt. I'm going to reach out to him soon.
I actually would really appreciate if you could make a follow up video to this addressing how WE are feeling in trying to get our exes back and why this is even worth it. Like, they hurt us too. They screwed up too. They might not be apologising or taking responsibility. So sometimes I'm like why even try? If he's just selfishly expecting me to take the blame for everything and make everything easy for him after HE broke up with me. Then again, I was definitely expressing desires to end things or 'take a break' - it just got too much... but I guess he pulled the trigger. It's sad because this past 6 months, I've been holding such lovely thoughts about him, keeping faith, doing so much inner work, and here he is 6 months on calling me an asshole! Like, WOW! Move on from the past already! Anyway, I feel like I'm struggling to see WHY I should keep trying/waiting/hoping anymore.
Ahh, listening to your other videos has helped me answer this... Wow, to be honest I think your advice is actually really helping me to mature. I was going to ignore him, but now I just gotta reach out man, and show him the work I've actually done!!! Going to totally HEAR HIM and validate his FEELINGS!!! Without an agenda!!
OH MY GOD! I messaged him and we had a 5 hour phone call!!!!! I took all of your advice, and by the end he was crying, saying he felt so stupid and vulnerable and disarmed. He didn't want the convo to end, but I left it at the peak of it, yay!! WOWWW you are amazing clay, thank you so much! I want to tip you!
Great video but I think you’re a bit too close to your mic, your last few videos have weird, like almost too loud/distortion sound? at a lower volume on our end
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
Well my ex is still dating her 2 month old rebound but everyday she visit me for 3hrs we flirt and even invite me to her house what does it mean is she slowly coming back to me
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
@Clay Andrews My ex said he wants to get together slowly. I just started to talk to him again about a month ago and he told me wants to get back together about a week ago but I haven't seen him since we talked. I don't know what is normal when getting back together slowly? He said he doesn't want to take it fast paced like we did the first time.
Hello I'm so excited my broker relationship has been restored my ex is back after left me for another woman I was helping 2 month ago by someone he can also help you too❤️
Its been a week since my boyfriend broke up with me because his parents won't approve of our relationship. We've been together since 2 years. Please help me here. Will he ever come back to me? He is not happy with the decision we had to make.
Yes, so true. And in the relationship also, he just felt like i wasn't listening to his concerns or understanding them. Mine were above his. So how exactly should i make him feel like i do understand him then? He also tells me.. to focus on my growth, self identity and stuff. I just wonder if he wants me to be like that..and then he can take me back??🥺
My ex said the exact same thing and I have the same questions as you...we are friends and he says things that confuses me, but I'm slowly just going with the flow...he is also working on himself and we have days were we dont talk, and I miss him soo much, but I give him his space til he reaches out to me
I went back to see my ex who I broke up with after 5yrs. First night had good visit and he wanted to get intimate and then ask me why I got intimate with him but I couldnt tell him then I was still in love with him. Second night a women called and he said she was trying to keep us from being intimate. He didnt tell me about her and I dont understand what he was doing?
You can check this video playlist >> ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-8pM1PxNaYBI.html Or check the Ex Solution Program course to learn more in-depth about the Advanced Relational Skills. I hope this helps. :-)
