A dirt bag who would take money from a young lady would have no concern about his father’s hospital bill. It was just a pretext. I’d like to know whether she even saw it.
She should obtain a copy of the hospital account. If $15K was not paid by the uncle, she can report this to the police and district attorney. They may prosecute him for fraud. Depending on how small a town it is, they may take this very seriously. A hardworking college girl is a sympathetic victim.
They don’t hold people hostage in the hospital if they can’t pay. She was swindled. If she has an email from uncle admitting he owes her she needs to sue him
you said this and it popped in my head that hospitals actually do hold you "hostage" in the Philippines. I doubt it but I wonder if this family is Filipino
I find it interesting she loaned him exactly $15k, as this is the IRS gift limit. She totally got scammed by her uncle. I work at a hospital, if someone can't pay their bills hospitals have associated "charities" that will lower the bill to whatever you can pay or waive it altogether.
I don't believe there is a gift limit to family members. I want to give substantially more to my daughter and her family, and my finance guy says there's no limit on family-to-family giving. Perhaps Uncles, Aunts or Cousins aren't included.
@@davidmuth4571 it may depend on your state. from my understanding, you can give as much as you want, but after a certain amount, you have to report it to the irs and pay tax.
Definitely don’t do that. Text him and email him more to get him to make more admissions in writing. Corroborate it with the grandfather or others. Then sue him. Don’t let him know it’s coming,
My wife and I don’t complain about money ever… and because we don’t, family feel it’s because we’re wealthy. Narcissists and low life’s don’t need her to advertise how much money she had - they can sense it by you not complaining about how broke you are all the time.
Yep, I learned this lesson as a kid instantly, first time I ever had a $20bill for doing a bunch of extra chores. Paid saturday morning, had friends over in the afternoon, was bragging about it, put it back in my sock drawer, found it was gone less than an hour later. Had no way to get the $20 back despite knowing exactly who took it.
@@costco_pizza no, letting the grandfather die wasn't a solution but his son should've asked his granddaughter/niece to put repayment terms in writing. Her uncle should've honored that and spoken with his niece for a longer timeline to repay any late monies.
The uncle suggested that SHE go into debt with a student loan, to pay for college, instead of HIM going into debt, to pay for the hospital bills. I bet the money wasn't even used to pay off the hospital bill. The hospital would accept ANY amount, every month, to not start collection proceedings.
Sounds as though Cathy is a timid, tenderhearted, young woman and was guilted into "helping" pay for grandpa's medical expenses. Poor, young woman. I have never asked my children for money, no matter the financial circumstances I have encountered. I don't think it's right to do such a thing. I'd have to question my character to even think of asking them for money. She wasn't 21 years old when she was asked for the money. She was about 19 1/2 years old, which is worse.
@@saulgoodman2018 I was thinking her parents told the uncle she had money... do you think she was just telling everyone how much money she has? Possibly but usually one who brags about having money isn't the type to have saved it up themselves.
@@Sexy40baby1 you’re misunderstanding the role of a parent. If my brother went to my kid behind my back and stole her money my kid would get their money back. As a “parent” I refuse to allow my brother steal my kids future. If that means I have to sue him I will, if I have to go to our dad and tell him his son is a thief and he needs to pay up I will and if that doesn’t work I’ll just take it from him.
Ok I think we’re taking the hospital story way too seriously……the father of a 40 year old uncle would be on Medicare. There would be a deductible, have to pay for some medications at home, that could be an ongoing struggle but it wouldn’t be a $15k bill immediately. This seems like it was just a story to get money. Grandpa was in the hospital and uncle saw a way to make some cash.
@@mwhe3111 you can be eligible for medicaid if you dont receive medicare. Assuming the ages doesnt help because when my neighbor was 40 his mother was 57. Hes currently 53, his mom is 70 and his grandmother is 90
When it comes to family, never tell them how much money you have. No matter how great your parents and extended family are, never disclose your wealth. The money you decide to give your family, give it as a gift, do not expect it back.
100% I dont keep my income a secret from my wife but I have told her in no uncertain terms it's our business and no one else's. If I choose to help out family in tough times it is a gift with no intention of ever receiving it back but I don't want people thinking they can make bad life choices thinking I will bail them out when the debt collectors start calling.
That was a question I would have asked: how did the uncle know she had that amount of money saved? She told him. Mistake. She won't do that again. I hope she sues her uncle over this. She will hopefully get most of it back that way.
The sad fact is he probably didn’t even spend the money on the hospital bill. This uncle sounds like my parents. I had to teach myself about money because my parents are low life’s like this. I remember my dad and mom spending money on drugs and then sending me, a child, into the store to pay with change because they were too embarrassed to pay with change. And I was careless with my money for a while til I realized that I never wanted to be like them.
I recall a time when I went to pump gas and was approached by someone asking for some money for food. I gave them a $5 and went about my business. Then went inside to get a snack, I see them in front of me in line using that $5 to buy some cigarettes. And now I no longer give cash, I've learned my lesson. Point of the story, is offer to pay for what they need, if they need gas, food, etc... You can tell a lot about the way they react. With gratitude or disappointment about not getting the cash
I noticed that too . I was visiting a family friend and he told me about a homeless guy who is always asking for cash but when you offer to buy him food or pay for it he refuses . I don't give cash anymore too .
@@CruzzzControl1984 I was desperate for a snack before an appointment, and went into 7-11 to quickly grab the least harmful thing. It was a 2-pack of granola bars. I exited, and a panhandler was outside asking for money for food. I offered him the second granola bar. He retorted he wanted money, because he was going to go get a steak later. Well, excuuuse me.
My family is like this with money. The caller needs to set major boundaries! I'm glad you were so honest Dave! Good advice, I hope she listens. Poor gal I'll be praying for her.
My daughter was is a bad marriage. She would call and ask for money. I ended up telling her, “If you are happy, I am happy for you. I am not paying for your happiness though.
I understand her pain. Her story is just like mine. Not uncle, but father & sibs. I worked at distancing myself from all of them. Very sad . If you give them money once they will look at you as "Ms. Money Bags". It was a tough to move away from them because they try harder to pull you into their drama. They think, I am the bad person. I let them think that because I don't care. Always remember they will never give your money back.
this is so common, family taking advantage of the young children. My mother did this to me and the rest of my siblings. I worked every summer throughout high school and almost saved nearly 10 thousand dollars. by the time I was 18, I had nothing. It hurts, but sometimes you cant even trust your own family.
Yes. They definitely should’ve told her how her uncle was so she wouldn’t make this type of mistake. When children get old enough to understand, I personally believe they should know the family members to stay away from. Parents should tell their children why that family member is a piranha without sugar coating it.
some people have to learn from experience and any amount of telling them wont help. she failed herself, shes an adult. do you need to see how many hate Dave? Making excuses that he's a liar and grifter? you can tell them all day and it won't help.
I just LOVE that these two men are enlightened enough to understand that sometimes you have to cut off family if they are toxic, so amazing to see from people who consider themselves conservative.
Well aren't you a judgmental fool? News flash: conservatives tend to be the ones helping and fixing, like the guy whose show you watch. And PS: screw everyone who voted for Trudeau. Y'all SUCK.
Watching this the second time. First time was before I lent my guardian money. Now it's been over a year since she promised to pay me back and her latest excuse is she started raising me after I was orphaned and so I owe her. I feel this girl's pain.
Learning to set boundaries--understanding why and how, is such a game changer. I hate that this happened to this dedicated young lady. It's such a betrayal.
Makes me wonder if the Uncle kept some (or all) of the money for himself. Judge Judy always tells litigents to NEVER loan money to relatives. She says the chances of it being paid back is slim. Unless an I.O.U is drawn up, they usually say it was gifted. Even a text indicating it's a loan is admissible in court. I hope this young lady goes to court with some kind of evidence. Maybe another family member can vouch for her.
Base on the uncle character, it wouldn't surprise me. I bet the uncle used the some of money to pay off his brother which is the caller dad. Whole entire family are trash. Wouldn't surprise me if the caller parents told uncle to ask to borrow money. How would he know that she have the money.
I’m betting there’s no hospital bill at all…..grandpa would be on Medicare and there wouldn’t be a hospital bill. Maybe a copay or something but not $15k.
I absolutely love this! I have always said I chose my family members and people have hated that! I grew up being told "you can pick your friends but you can't chose your family" oooH heck no!!! I have never felt the emotional pull to stand by "family" members that only have bad intentions. I don't discourage people who do, but that is not for me.
People don’t understand that you can live and forgive someone, but still have a boundary that says that person is not allowed in your life. Sometimes that’s the best way to love someone cause nobody else ever told them no like they needed to hear.
I don't know what in this video reminded me of this story because it perhaps falls under the heading of "Stupid Tax" but my brother knows a lady whose husband was retired military and he died. She was left with his rather substantial pension and other benefits and was VERY well provided for. She was probably in her early 60's and she got infatuated with a young man about half her age and she had to have him as her boytoy. She married him, giving up ALL rights to her first husband's military pay in the process. Boytoy lived with her for six months and saw a younger, prettier woman and he divorced her for the younger woman. She then went back to the military and said she was ready for them to reinstate her benefits as the widow of a retired military man and she was told um, sorry. That ship has sailed. The last my brother heard of her she had lost her home and was living on welfare and was in very precarious shape financially. But hey, she had herself a boytoy for a few months. That's stupid tax on steroids.
When it comes to loaning money, whether it’s family or friends, I only loan the amount I’m prepared to lose. She should’ve sent the money directly to the hospital and not to the uncle. He probably just took it for himself. I really hope she is able to recover the money though.
Don't even tell your family you have money! Pretend you're broke! I used to be too nice in my 20's. Now my heart has been replaced with a pump for people in general even if they're family! Don't be nice! Only show people how to help themselves if they're willing. Like the old saying. Teach a man to fish.
The whole family, if they’re SO mad at scummy uncle, needs to get together and give this girl her money back. They’re all mad at the bad uncle (we all are) yet they don’t seem to be helping Cathy at all.
I agree, and the father is as bad as the uncle. It must be a real doozy of a family if the adults can't come up with the money for their own father's hospital bill. Low life family.
Lol, this is 100% my family. Mom opened numerous accounts in me and my brothers name. Pull my credit report and find out my score is crap, numerous accounts idk about.... then years later dad dies and she literally trys to keep using my brother and me as an atm. I just got married in march and cut her off from, then the endless guilt trips start which didn't work. Then she went quiet
Dave Ramsey you are correct. Integrity and honesty is a minimum what is expected from the people who worth associating with. This low life uncle should be made to pay the money back with interest. He need to be given two choices, either he pays the money back on his own or alternatively he need to be taken to court. He is not worthy to have any kind of further relationship with.
A lot of families are dealing with similar issues. Disappointing that it has happened to a college student. When it comes to family, assume a loan is a gift as many are not repaid - I Dealt with a family member that could repay but wanted to save it for their own use - did finally repay but caused damages to our relationship. Beware!!!
My uncle was a lawyer. Imagine our surprise when my grandmother dies and 90% of my grandfathers million dollar net worth was left to his family after moving close to grandma when she was on her deathbed. I was around 18 and still regret (and don't regret) standing up to my uncle. Moved on but let the Lord sort it out. Money isn't everything.
There are tons of families out here where the parents and older people use the younger. It’s outrageous. Even “Christian” families don’t realize they are doing this
I am hoping for this young woman's sake that this is resolved soon, but I don't think she's going to go the legal route. Cautionary tale young people: don't EVER lend people money, especially family members. Unless you can legally bind people to proper repayment terms, you will lose it.
Uncle is NEVER going to pay back this sweet, young lady and he knew it when he conned her out of it. He will use the "so much time has passed" excuse and NEVER pay her back. She should only talk about this loan every time she sees him so that he feels like the POS he is. Also, how does she know that he actually used the money to pay the hospital? Heartbreaking.
@@costco_pizza Hospitals don't let anyone just die hopefully. The person themself and his kids should have taken care of him, not a removed granddaughter.
@@costco_pizza sadly, yes. If it was critical, the uncle would have made a plan - taken a loan from the bank, sold a vehicle, taken a loan from his work off his paycheck, or signed as guarantor with the hospital. It was never her responsibility. It was never her duty.
@Sheri - Maybe this young lady will get an opportunity to get revenge. Uncle will truly desperately need money for himself and she can have the satisfaction of saying she can’t do it since he left her in a financial bind. Let him finally get his payback.
Never "loan" money to people especially family or friends that you can't live without. If you can't turn loose of it and consider it a gift you can't afford to loan it. That way you are not hurt if it is paid back late or not at all.
Unfortunately no attorney is going to take this, despite the dramatic emotional and moral aspects. She may be able to go to small claims court, depending on the limits in her state. That would be an excellent learning experience for a 21 year old.
Giving this to an attorney is not the answer... even if an attorney takes this, his fee would be at least 30% - 50%. I think she should take him to small claims court... here in MA the max is $10k. And she can walk away from $5k.
@@johnSmith-uz8nl Wouldn't that be a -5k net loss and not really worth it since he is already de-facto gave a $15k. I am glad she learned her lesson to never barrow someone who is in debt (especially when has her own debt).
Do not ever give your family money for any reason!! They could have made payments to the hospital and the bill didn't need to be paid off with her money!
My mother cannot handle her money. When I graduated from college she came to me with her credit card bills because she couldn’t make the minimum payments. She didn’t want to go to dad and ask for the money. I paid her bills even though I was making barely enough to live because my mother taught me to be helpful. I had to stop because she was taking advantage of me and is a spend a holiday to this day. I told my dad. They had a blowout argument and mom never asked me for money again.
@@randy944 For sure. It was dumb to expect re-payments (especially within one year) from a person who was in the hospital. She should just go with the former and never expect re-payment and never loan these people a cent again.
Keep your financial information private. If you want to give someone money let it be a gift .Don't loan money to relatives and friends because there is a good chance it will be an issue.
You should never loan money to family, expecting it back. You should either give, or not, depending on what you can afford, and what the need is. And then it’s between the recipient and God as to whether they use it properly. If she doubted it would be used for the intended purpose, she could have gone and paid the bills directly herself. But helping your grandfather with medical bills, when you can probably replace the money, is not necessarily the wrong thing to do. It’s probably the right thing to do. Even if your family is messed up. That’s the proper advice here. Now, should a family with multiple members not be in a position of asking their youngest to bail them out? Absolutely. So it is questionable. But there is no way to know all the details from a five minute call.
Take him to court! Put a lien on anything and everything he has to get your money! Some people have to be shown! He probably doesn't talk to her anyway unless he needs something!
I wonder if he used the money for the hospital bill. A lot of people, especially a 21-year-old, don’t know hospital bills are based on inflated charges. Insurance companies don’t pay a fraction of the sum, and hospitals don’t expect to receive it. Idk why the costs are inflated. Maybe so hospitals can claim they’re operating at a loss? Isn’t grandpa on Medicare? The family could have negotiated Grandpa’s portion, telling the hospital he’s poor, and made monthly payments.
Yep and if he's on Medicare the cost is minimal. It would never cost $15k plus they could've applied for financial aid from the hospital and from the sound of it they would've received the aid.
From what I've heard there are rules the insurance companies have in their contracts that providers can't charge different amounts for the same service based on insurance. So the common highest, plus probably a bit, is charged and then insurance agreed rates kick in and knock a lot of it down.
@@MikeIsCannonFodder yes under 65 if they have a network then the amount is already negotiated with the provider. If over 65 Medicare already has set the maximum allowable so the bill will be adjusted.
The question is, did the uncle really use the money to pay for the hospital bill? I kind of doubt it. The grandfather at the least has Medicare, so he could have dealt with it on small monthly payments. Something smells fishy in Denmark!
