Want to live a simpler and healthier life? Then join me as I offer guidance and share tips about how you can simplify your life through uncluttering your space, time, and mind. By simplifying and decluttering our lives, I believe that we can improve our health and wellness.
I will also offer ideas on how to reduce stress and find calmness. One idea is traveling to relax so occasionally you will find a video on places to go and unwind.
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This video isn't just for senior people - IT'S FOR EVERYONE. The BEST & MOST IMPORTANT tip / suggestion that one can learn from it - even IF you are THINKING about moving or you know you actually are - START the process & BE PREPARED from the front gate to back garden & from the attic to the basement (if one is lucky to have these). De-clutter everything & donate what you're not bringing with you. Buying moving boxes can be expensive, the size of the trucks required, storage units are expensive (if required) eg. If there are delays in exchanging contracts. BOX & CLEARLY LABEL EVERYTHING so one can find things once you've settled in as NOT every box has to be opened & sorted out straight away. Its an emotional time & takes a while to get used to. One can always donate / de-clutter further with a clear mind at a later date - it's amazing how much one can achieve this way. One can have their old sentimental pieces & memories & buy something new for the new chapter in their lives.
You have a very kind and sensible manner, and decluttering is good whatever our age. However, downsizing is not for us, and despite health problems we shall continue to enjoy all that we have worked for and shall not be influenced by those who might believe they know what is good for us. Our Wills make provision for distribution of items to those we know will appreciate them, and clearance to be carried out by a young local couple who enjoy a livelihood doing this as well as cleaning and preparing property for sale. No fancy funeral, no mourning, everything arranged by local funeral director. Proceeds to those who have given such friendship, and remainder to deserving small charities. Meanwhile, back to the joy of our hillside garden.😊
All excellent suggestions but the main point is that as we all age we need to start the decluttering process even as early as once any adult children move out. As we become older it is our responsibility to recognize that things change and ask for help. What I have experienced is some resistance from siblings in this situation. They seem to think that “baby steps “ are needed so very little gets done and we end up doing the major work. This is exactly what happened when they had to sell a small summer cottage (a lot of junk and mess to clean out). Now again approaching that point with there house and move - to make it more difficult all the children live far away and parents need to move here in assisted living (these are my husbands parents) this has become a major worry and the decision process is just moving at a snails pace. We are planners and can see the “risks” but mainly that a lot will fall on us. 😂 Tried all the discussions with the siblings but in the end we had to back off as no one responded anymore. So letting them proceed with the slow plan and accepting whatever happens.
Lovely, we cared for all our parents as well as other family members, despite health problems and keeping businesses going. Built our own house too, snails pace because of responsibilities and lack of money. My mum was disabled and lived with us permanently in her final years, we moved upstairs to accommodate. Happiest days of our lives and we would do it all again, she lived to her 103rd year and kept us young.
Ah yes, that's the way. My late cousin informed his children that when they reached 21 their suitcases would be on the doorstep, and they should prepare for it.
I was thrown into this situation when my father became ill and passed away over a 6 week period. He was my mother's caregiver, although with them in their 90's, I had taken on a certain amount of care for both. Mom, now 97, has been a widow 2 1/2 years. During this time I have been decluttering their home, somewhat at her pace. My brothers and I know just this much should make a difference when we clean out the house, which will be soon. A major sorting is most helpful.
I AM the parent trying to declutter so that when I need to go into care I will not place a big burden on my children. Having seen what happens when a parent die or suddenly goes into care. Also, there are valuable items that might bring a good price when sold, my children won't know which of these are valuable so I am selling them now.
@@janicepanton5976 You are a thoughtful parent! Your children will really appreciate what you are doing now to declutter and then sell what is valuable.
My cousin insisted that all her offspring kept their stuff in their own rooms and that the doors were kept closed. All cleaning to be carried out by them and any items found in the kitchen would be binned. Perhaps a little summerhouse for your own retreat, a space all your own. ❤
My Mom will have to move soon, and suddenly. We may get one or two days’ notice when she has to go, and will have to drive two days to even get to her place. Mom did not want to declutter earlier-even things like cookbooks, when she hadn’t cooked for herself for a few years. I wanted to put aside a few of her photo albums for her to take with her, and bring others to my home so I could share pictures of my childhood with my son. Instead they are collecting dust and spiders at her place. Her drawers are full of mixed papers. Some are letters from family friends who I will want to keep addresses for, some contain important documents, and some are just old bills-all mixed together. There are mouse droppings in some of it. She still wouldn’t let me go through any of it when I was there. Now, my husband says when we have to move her, he’s going to take 4 days off, we’ll go get her into the care home, and we’re “just going to have to throw everything out”. He’s not renting a van to move her stuff to our (somewhat cluttered) home. Neither is he willing to sort or bring things to sell (if anything is worth anything, that’s my “inheritance”), to give to any of her friends, etc. I may get to bring home one box of important keepsakes. In any case he seems to think we can move her, clear out the (rented) apartment, clean the place for the landlord, and go home in a few days, nevermind a few weeks. I’m an only child, so I have no siblings to help. I’m already making myself alternately sad and furious at the anticipation of this. I had wanted to go to Mom’s myself, move her to her place, take a couple of weeks to go through things and get the apartment cleaned (if this happens in summer when I’m not working and if we have time left in the month-we could even pay an extra month’s rent if needed just to give us that time), make sure she has what she needs and is most important to her, before my husband comes to join me to take stuff to the dump, load a box of keepsakes into the car, and brings us home. Any suggestions on what to do in this situation?
@@Snookscat Thank you for sharing your situation. I like your idea of going earlier to sort things before your husband joins you. Your mom hanging onto cookbooks sounds like my mom but when she moved to a smaller place and saw that she would have no place for them, she let me donate them. Best wishes to you and your mom.
Don’t forget your cousins. A lot of times your parent is holding onto things from their parents. Your cousins have the same grandparents and may be interested in those things. I made sure the family chest from Europe stayed in the family.
I’m 81 years old, a widow and moved from a 3 bedroom home into a 600 sq foot condo. It helped me to use the term “resize”, not “downsize.” It simply helped me mentally, to accept this change and to acknowledge that life needed to be simpler. My family members didn’t want much, I shared with friends and had garage sales and donated so much. The grandchildren didn’t want the silver, crystal, fine China, linens…I learned to let the things go and to keep the memories.
Blessings! I'm only 67 but "resizing" to about 500 sq ft. I know the sadness but am glad I get to decide what to take and what to let go of. I've also hear the term "right size" which is nice.
As an elderly parent I was fortunate enough to organise my own support system and could organise and make my own decisions after an abrupt change in my health. I couldn't expect my children - who are much younger than me - to understand what it's like to be aged and coming to terms with, every day, living in a more fragile frame. To show empathy is important but it's also difficult for younger ones to know what is best for the parent. The parent's pace and perspective will be different. All the parent needs is support when asked for and the parent needs to be heard. That's love in action.
Some people have too many things, some too little. Some elderly people were "decluttered" by their children so much they have nothing to look at. They sit there stirring at wall when caregivers come and just talk bad about their (oftast) daughters as depression and dementia takes over. But then remember, you take nothing with you when you die...
Great points! There needs to be a balance when decluttering. You want to get rid of things that have become a burden or have no value or purpose. But you want to keep things that have significance and use and bring joy and memories. I mention the importance of keeping things that help our senior parent’s memories in this and another video. Thank you for your comment!
This is such a great video. So many people are going through this or will be soon. You are gifted with the ability of imparting useful information without wasting time with needless chatter. I love how you mention that you could have done things better or differently. That's true for everyone. I am sure that your parents appreciate all that you and your husband have done. Thank you for sharing
Good effort. My hardest category is paper clutter, but it’s hard to let go of anything, including books. The first point is really true, the one about the identity. I remember books that I decluttered years ago and I still feel like they’re a part of my identity, and I question whether I shouldn’t have kept them. I recently sold 34 books on Ziffit and gave another couple of piles to a bookstore that gives away free books to people. That is such a cool concept. You’re allowed 3 books per visit and when you’re done with them, you can just donate them back to avoid cluttering up your bookshelves. I am not shopping for books until I finished my TBR which consists of 32 books I believe (if I remember that correctly).
Thank you for sharing! Paper clutter is hard. There are so many types of paper piles. I do understand about books becoming part of our identity and hard to let go. But if you read them then they are a part of you and having the physical copy doesn’t make it more so. What a great idea for the bookstore that you shared about!
I really appreciate this. I am doing this . I am old and trying to do this so my family doesn’t have to to do this together. I am the only one to know what the things I love who they belonged to before me. I liked and subscribed. Thank you
Covid limited my coffee and restaurant outings (to zero!) which limited my spending. Four years on, what I saved by not spending on coffee (and other things) is now going toward bigger items that I have needed to replace. It was a good reminder how easy it can be to save.😊
At 77, I have been through this process twice, once as the daughter dealing with an elderly mother who needed to move to assisted living, and now as the elderly parent needing my daughter’s help. The most important lesson that I learned, was that moves to assisted living or skilled nursing were always preceded by some sort of medical issue or crisis. So my mother never got to choose her new home. I didn’t want to burden my children in this way and I wanted to make my own choices. When my husband and I were in our early to mid-seventies, we sold our home of 42 years and moved across the country to be close to one of our adult daughters. We have an apartment in a senior community that has independent living, assisted living and memory care. After Mom’s nearly fatal heart attack, she had to move into assisted living. We were able to maintain her apartment so that she and a professional who specialized in senior moves, were able to declutter and downsize her possessions without the pressure of an impending move. We were spared the emotional stress of the downsizing process and for years afterwards, the moving specialist was blamed for any regrets that Mom had. Be cautious about decluttering stuff that seems useless and unnecessary. Years after Mom passed, I found a small collection of granny squares that she had crocheted. There weren’t enough squares to be useful but eventually I took those squares, crocheted a few more from the same yarn, and made a baby afghan for her great-granddaughter that she never met. Now that I am the elderly parent, I have a different perspective. I am hard pressed to declutter items that remind of past events in my life. It almost feels as if I need a tangible reminder of those times. At the same time, I am beginning to notice my priorities continue to evolve. As the years go by, past achievements and accomplishments fade in importance. It’s our loved ones who loom large in our lives - our family members and dearly beloved friends. I saw the same shift in my mother as the years went by. At the end of her life, her working life, trips taken, possessions and other stuff were insignificant when compared to her loved ones. It’s our relationships and emotional attachments that become most precious.
Decluttering takes time so start with a small area first such as a closet or a drawer or a bookshelf. Or you can set aside a short amount of time such as 30 minutes to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Set daily or weekly goals, do a little bit at a time, and know it will be worth your effort!
I had to empty my parents house where they lived 52 years in. My father died and my mother moved into an elderly home. When she died, I had to empty her room also. So many memories and I am an only child so had to decide it all by myself. Since that day, my hubby and I started to declutter our home because we don't want to do this to our daughter. We are making a list of all the things she must do and where to find when something happens with us. Like all the importend passwords, codes, and adresses. One ordner with all the papers and instructions. Hope it helps her to deal with it.
I have witnessed people who have decluttered and organized long before life forced them and others who had it forced upon them or their children with time constraints. I continue to work at being the former.
Same here - my mother was the same - it's about accepting the changes taking place in your life. The young ones have busy lives and we're in a 'new place' so speak, coming to terms with the changes in and around us. We're the only ones who know what our daily life is like and what we're facing.
Excellent advice. I am helping my father declutter his home, to bring order back to his home, to make it easier and safer for him, for this next stage in his life. It is a long slow process as there's a lot of stuff to go through, but I'm glad he is finally on board. I am actually enjoying spending time with him doing this, we are having a bit of a laugh and making it fun, where possible! No arguments yet anyway! I think it's bringing us closer.
That is wonderful that you and your dad can spend quality time together to declutter and organize while having fun. That’s how it should be when decluttering with family - to be able to share memories, laugh together, and draw closer to each other. Thank you for sharing!
I would encourage families to start talking about this long before it has to happen. It can start as a discussion on how to make life function more beautifully with fewer obstructions in the way of time spent cleaning, and more focus on shared experiences. Conversations about speed cleaning can indirectly help people let go of things because it takes time to pick up every little thing and dust or wipe under it or around it. Conversations about what the kids do or don't want, or the nephews or the nieces. Passing things along sooner rather than later. Conversations about how long it takes to do The simplest of tasks that we take for granted when we're young… Only fast forward to what it looks like when older, stiffer, sicker, impaired by an accident. It comes to us all so why keep our lives so complicated? Conversations about keeping things because you enjoy them, but may be having a thoughtful plan in advance of what you would take, and what you would let go of, upon downsizing to different sizes of spaces. I think having this series of conversations sprinkled through the years could do wonders for a lot of families. i'm not a minimalist. I am a child of depression era parents. But I am so glad that I encountered online mentors like Flylady, and the many that have come after her, you have encouraged us to look at our stuff and what it does to our lives and our relationships. it means that I have continually had big ideas and small practical projects to accomplish that improve my quality of life now, and will make life easier in the future whether I die suddenly or have to downsize at some point. I involve my daughter in this, and we have been helping each other talk through the projects that are difficult for ourselves and bounce ideas off of each other, and then roll up our sleeves to physically help one another when that's a challenge. it's odd, to be approaching 65, the same age at which my parents both died. So many of my friends have died by this age or younger… Some much younger. I don't particularly want to downsize from my home, I love filling it with people on a regular basis. So I keep on decluttering in ways that make it as easy and as enjoyable as I possibly can, despite some mobility and speed issues. This week I started preparing an antique to leave the house, some thing I have loved since I was seven years old but in truth, no longer serves. Yesterday, my husband went through our remote control stash and discovered we can let go of all the two of them at this point. Today I am evaluating The airphone/earbud category of tech stuff to see what goes. and for Mother's Day, my daughter and her husband are coming over and are willing to do some physical tasks that I'm physically not able to do right now. It's part of a project to give me a wonderful, paired down, organized and aesthetically wonderful home office space, And my daughter has been helping me with some of the physical aspects of this while I have helped her with some things at her home on other days. All this to say… It's coming to us all, why not make it a beautiful part of the journey?
This is so helpful. This is hard for me because I am a minimalist, and my mother is not. She is at a place where she needs to start downsizing b/c her health has deteriorated, however, she is very resistant to doing that despite acknowledging the need to do so. What empathy I may have had has all but dissipated given her resistance and the desire to just let me deal with it when she's gone.
Thank you for sharing about your mom. I completely understand. Both my parents did not like to declutter and resisted my offers to help declutter. But they were open to have me help them organize a few things so while organizing I was able to help them toss some items. So maybe try a different angle. In the end, we do need to respect their wishes. I know it’s hard because we know that decluttering will help them. Best wishes to you!
Thanks for sharing the bit about the bathroom - I get up every night...I wonder how I would be affected if I stopped consuming so much sugar (which I should do for other reasons as well).
Cut the sugar and find out! I didn’t expect the benefit about the bathroom and was pleasantly surprised. Just be patient cause that took some time for me to notice. And like you said, there are other benefits that you will notice. I wish you the best. 😊
