The Abysmal Aftermath Atrocity | A Book Review of Star Wars: Aftermath 

Lord of the Rings is the opposite of a Chosen One narrative; it's One who Chooses. Frodo chooses to carry the ring, because he feels obligated, because it was his ring which his Uncle had carried, and it was on him to take it to be destroyed. He chooses, and the fellowship chooses to go with him.

My God, Wedge lives and can survive in space, can teleport, and doesn't consider his opponents worthy of mercy. He's Shadow the Wedgehog!

How to fix The Aftermath: Delete most things Leave Mister Bones Make it past tense Change the book title to The Adventures of Mister Bones

Han solo: here she is, The Millennium Falcon. Luke: what a piece of junk! Han: hey she might not be pretty but she's herky-jerky up and down left and right. Luke: 😒 we're getting another pilot.

"You compared a guy's hat to a thing that doesn't exist in Star Wars canon. You idiot." Is such a great quote to use out of context.

"I saw potential in Modelland. I saw potential in Trigger Warning. I saw potential in Empress Theresa. I don’t see any potential in Aftermath." This is the most literarily horrifying description I've ever read. I can already tell I'm in for a bumpy ride.

a droid screaming "I PERFORMED VIOLENCE" is genuinely so funny. i chuckled, i'll be honest

On the starting rant about wendig, I'm reminded of an article written about him and his internet archive thing, describing it like this "When Metallica drove Napster into bankruptcy over piracy of their albums, they received due backlash for crushing one of the best distribution networks of the early internet era. The difference here is that Metallica made Master of Puppets and Chuck hasn’t even made St. Anger."

"Preganant with Lightning". Souns like the title of an erotic novel about Thor.

The most insulting part of this for me was that Disney hasn't been paying some of the EU writers their royalty fees for selling their work And they hire THIS guy to write?!

Tolkien's works read like an RPG manual to some because his work is literally the foundation for modern high fantasy, upon which many RPGs are based.

"You ever try to catch a moth?" Yup. Real easy. Dim the lights and shine a flashlight. It flies right to it. It's how I get rid of them when one winds up in my house. Good job, Chuck.

I feel like it’s important to note that a robot can’t be programmed with anything from Grievous because Grievous was… well, not a fuckin robot?? He was an alien that got grafted into a robot body because of extensive damage to his body

Wouldn't it make more sense for Ackbar's letter to say: "The Rebellion is over. But the fight for the Republic, is just begining."? It ties up much better between the concepts of both sentences.

"You can never catch a moth." I... I have caught many a moth in my time. Sometimes with my bare hands. What? Like, I know it's all bad, but this particular bit has me personally baffled. Moths are one of the easiest flying bugs to catch. What?

Dude actually put "loopty-loops" unironically in his book.

Disney had a massive goldmine ripe and ready for the picking. And then they thought they could do better and collapsed the mine and went off to dig for a new one. Never able to find another mine like the first one they had.

Closest thing to Frodo being a chosen one in the books is how because Bilbo had the ring (and thus the problem) he inherits it by being his nephew. And even then, no one tells him to carry that burden, he chooses to do because he feels it's his duty to do so.

Wow, Bones has to have the strongest back in the galaxy to be able to single-handedly carry this book.

"She is wearing more plot armor then anyone else" Oh this is going to be bad, the last character survived blowing up their ship in space.

The child who gets your hair will be the most powerful child in the world. Good on you for being willing to sacrifice your luscious locks for a good cause.

As an independent scholar and historian whose work was negatively impacted (albeit not disastrously so) by Wendig's pointless and spiteful crusade against the Internet Archive, I needed this. I salute you, good sir.

"I was more of a trekkie because i would watch it with my dad" I felt that, I was a trekkie because I watched it with my mom and grandma.

That “emerald kofta-grouse” thing reminds me of the little-referenced first season of Blackadder: “So in other words, what you are telling me, Percy, is that something you have never seen is slightly less blue than something else…you have never seen.”

I love how Leia keeps showing up like “Am I in this Star Wars book?” 🤣

"For the galactic sale for the peoples of all burning stars: the hibidy-gibidy for-the-feet little human shoes, never ever ever worn in a million years in any of the galaxies." © Chuck, probably

1:22:58 This is not cannibalism and is in fact a totally normal thing, but Chuck wrote it in a horrible and stupid way (Surprise!). Basically human bodies are a very amazing fertilizer. So it's a practice to bury dead bodies under trees so that the trees will grow better and produce more fruit, the idea of using their passed-on loved ones' remains as an improved food source being made into a ritual of remembrance of those buried under the tree. It's actually a very environmentally friendly and resourceful method of disposing of bodies.

The crazy thing with the Thrawn Trilogy was that the tactics and space battles were so realistic and well thought out it almost like it was being written by a veteran of space battles

Was scared for a sec that we were gonna lose long reviews but instead it was just charity. I'm ok with this. uwu

If you want to describe something that's impossible to catch, "like a puppet dancing on someone's strings" is one phrase you ABSOLUTELY do not want to use.

I cannot believe they messed up the dogfighting in this book that bad, in the X-wing series they go into every angle and maneuver, every aileron and snap roll, it makes it thrilling to read. But sure "Loop-de-loop".

Theory: Mr. Bones is the sole reason why Krimson managed to actually have the will to finish the book.

Of course it's fucking Chuck Windig. Recently watched a channel go over his "writing tips" and about 99% of his tips are insulting women, glamorizing mental illness or alcoholism in writers, insulting the homeless, insulting fat people, unnecessarily violent descriptions, and descriptions of things that sound like they're probably his fetishes, to use as metaphors for the most basic writing advice I could have gotten anywhere else-- and then immediately contradicting himself making it unclear what advice he actually wants you to take. Edit: he's also the guy who tried to sue the Internet Archive.

“Too much time on Twitter.” Sounds right about for most modern celebrities. Also, thanks for uploading. It keeps me entertained while I write

The thing to always remember about Thrawn in the Heir to the Empire trilogy. Is that he's an enigma character. We only ever see him through Pellaeon's eyes, similar to Holmes and Watson. Some of what he does makes perfect logical sense and some of it borders on clairvoyance. But what makes him so engaging is its never explained fully. There's the thing where he understands art and psychology, understands the technical limitations of military machinery, keeps time in his head and never ignores minor details. It isn't just that you learn to love Thrawn in the book. You learn to fear him on behalf of the protagonist.

"I was putting away bounties while you were in your space diapers!" -Disney Star Wars "While you were still learning how to SPELL YOUR NAME, I was being trained to conquer GALAXIES!" - Battlefield Earth

"80% of this story takes place in one town on one planet. That doesn't feel like Star Wars." Scoundrels is a heist story (by Timothy Zahn, incidentally) that takes place in one town on one planet and still feels pretty Star-Wars-y. Another failure to add to Wendig's pile.

Her rifle is a "slug thrower" which means that it is not a laser/blaster type of weapon. It throws "slugs" aka bullets. They're kind of obscure in the Star Wars universe, but they are a thing. Apparently during the war between the Jedi and the Mandalorian, the Jedi were so good at deflecting blaster shots that the Mandalorian started using "slug throwers".

29:45 Moths are the easiest insect for you to catch mid flight - they're clumsy fliers with huge, heavy wings, who will bump into you when they're desperately trying not to. So even *beyond* the terrible writing, idk what that was all about either.

He should review Chuck's book on writing advice. He's a 45 year old man who writes like an edgy 13 year old girl.

1:41:29 Okaaay! Lore check! Turbolasers are capital ship class weapons. They're like regular laser cannons on steroids. Typically designed to fire at heavy armor, entrenched positions, and other capital ships. They're great at hitting anything frigate-sized and larger, but struggle targeting smaller vessels like starfighters because they're slow to aim and relatively imprecise. That's why the Rebellion used X-Wings to assault the first Death Star instead of capital ships. The Death Star had a lot of turbolaser towers, but far fewer laser cannon batteries for anti-fighter defense. Which is why I'm calling BS on a turbolaser mercing an entire squad of skydiving rebel shock troopers. It'd be like trying to hit a squad of paratroopers in free-fall with the main guns of a battleship. Could it be done? Theoretically, maybe. But there are more practical ways to get the job done.

I mean, in microcosm, "band of not-rebels fucks up an Imperial staff meeting" sounds like a promising comedy idea

There was a point when I was watching Rise of Skywalker, where I said aloud "I don't think I like Star Wars anymore." And since that movie, I cannot enjoy Star Wars anymore. It's like something broke in my brain. And I actually used to like the prequels too, so something went very wrong.

You weren't lying, Mr. Bones really is the best character in this.

You laugh, but I would personally love to have a story where an assassin or whatever jumps out of a cake like a stripper and then proceeds to murder a guy. If the rest of this book had been more on that level of absurdity (deliberately, not just accidentally), it might actually be worth reading.

Seeing a writer of minimal talent like Wendig get to where he is just makes me want to work even harder, because if he can be a published author (not a good one mind) then I know I can as well. It's comforting in a way I guess

I believe the quote from A Knight's Tale is appropriate for this writing: "You may feel like a poet, but you sound like an idiot!"

The only reason I guessed "green bird" when you read "emerald kofta-grouse" is because I already knew that grouse are a type of bird, sort of like quail. And the only reason I know that is because I've eaten them before, not that grouse tend to come up a lot in conversation!

That chosen one comment - though I can respect someone not liking those kind of stories - is a divine comedy considering Star Wars literally has Anakin Skywalker, described numerous times as The Chosen One. Literally. You cannot make this up.

I do feel the need to point out that Mr. Bones is basically the canon version of of HK-47, since to my knowledge he’s not been introduced into canon himself. So the best character in the story isn’t even really his own.

For the record, the “Subtext is for cowards guy” is a character named Garth Meranghi played by comedian Matthew Holness, and is a caricature of a cheesy horror writer who takes himself very seriously. I definitely would suggest looking into his miniseries: ‘Darkplace’, and his book: ‘TerrorTome’ if you haven’t already.

"By all the stars in all the skies..." Whatever happened to "blast?" Most of us will say something like "christ, it's hot in here," not "by all the lakes in Minnesota, it's hot in here."

Another funny aspect of the "this ship and I are like a moth" line is that moths are especially easy to catch.

it's kinda great that you're reviewing chuck wendig's writing because a thing happened with another "book" he wrote that was reviewed on another youtube channel--which unfortunately was taken down by chuck himself. it was one of those "how to become a writer" books and this one had 1,001 tips on writing--which ultimately was just the same 25 tips regurgitated and bastardized enough to fool the reader into thinking they're a thousand unique tips. it's also filled with some...rather iffy opinions about being a writer I can only hope that you giving chuck wendig's writing a well-deserved thrashing doesn't end up being taken down the same way the other channel did with their rundown on his writing

Star Wars lore: slug throwers are guns that fire physical rounds. Typically bullets. These became popular during the Mandalorian Wars against Jedi to ensure they couldn’t redirect the mandalorians’ gunfire.

1:05:47 “Czerka Slugthrower” - translated into English, this means a bullet-based gun produced by Amazon.

'Herky Jerky" was used in the very good Star Wars: X-Wing: Rogue squadron by Mike Stackpole. But it was ONCE for a human being landing askew. And wasn't phrased like Ned Flander said it. "HERKILY JERKILY NEIGHBORINO."

I love listening to you tear apart books. 1.It's a great thing to just listen to in the background. 2. It gives me writing tips 3. it restores my faith in my writing ability

Wendig could've become the next Timothy Zahn with his trilogy, instead he became Chuck Wendig. It's not uncommon for authors to say 'Don't Wendig that opportunity!' to each other when they hear about someone getting a big break.

I was making a rewrite for Richard Connell’s “the most dangerous game” and when you said that he thought the second draft was just fixing typos, I literally laughed out loud. I literally rewrote the entire story at the second draft.

Chuck's tweet about LOTR just proves that he has less of an understanding of it than I did as a 10 year old. Also, very happy you're enjoying Heir, the Thrawn trilogy as a whole is very good, and the point I recommend people start with if they want to get into Legends content.

Am I: a person who has never watched any Star Wars media, going to watch a three hour long video of Book Jesus analyzing a terrible book based on it? yes, yes I am.

As someone who grew up with the EU in all it's glory and mess, it's nice to know that even stinkers like Darksaber weren't this bad.

I tried to check this book out a while ago because a bunch of "nerdy sites" insisted it was brilliant. Legitimately thought I was reading the wrong one at first 🤦‍♀️ but nope, Wendig somehow has a _fanbase_ who are convinced he's the smartest guy to ever put pen to paper. Smh.

For some reason the first thing that came to mind when you made the comparison between nervous tics that aren't used and a character that says they hate ice cream and then eats ice cream all the time was this concept: A character that starts the book decrying that they hate ice cream, but is shown casually eating ice cream with their kid repeatedly throughout to show their connection with the kid and willingness to reach out and share things they love to get closer to them, even without enjoying it much themselves. Absolutely not relevant but that was just the thought. Time to watch the rest of the video lol

Fun fact: According to Chuck, he got fired because of how he acted on Twitter.

This narration reads like the draft I make before starting my FIRST draft. ... Kinda makes me feel better about my writing if nothing else.

Everytime Krimson makes a video: Me: *frantically taking notes on the books on his shelf, to find more awesome stuff to read* Also, it's awesome to see that I'm not the only one who reads a mixture of adult and young reader books :D

1:11:00 actually there is and I actually learned about it today. "Death Star" is actually an unofficial designation which became official because of widespread use. The name came about partly because the station's official designation was Deepspace (Battle) Station-01 which got anagramed to DS-1, so it earned the nickname "Death Star" as a shorthand by Imperial personal, which at the time didn't elude to much about what the project actually was other than it probably being space related and brings about death. Eventually it just became the station's name proper because of how popular it had become, over saying "Deep Space Battle Station Zero-One." The Empire had also planned to publicly rename the Death Star to "Freedom Star" and use it as their mobile seat of Government after they had defeated the Rebellion. Of course this is all EU. Dunno what the Canon explanations are beyond Project Stardust.

If there is a Chosen One in LotR, then it's not a "tired trope" when they do it. It's more like "Seinfeld Is Unfunny": People think a trope in a work is old and seen-before, not realising it's usage in that work is one of the first appearances.

I like listening to this from time to time, just reviewing what NOT to do if I ever get into writing, and wondering why Mr. Bones was so good compared to everyone else but finally realized today: it's because Mr. Bones doesn't think or have exposition. Mr. Bones just acts and reacts. Interesting and sad that the reason one character works is probably unintended on Wendig's part.

20:16 If there's one thing Wedge Antilles looks forward to after the war, it's not settling down with his loved ones. It's not being shot at less often. It's not: no longer seeing his friends get killed. No, it's an upgraded smartphone. That's all Antilles wants. Because Antilles is a total psychopath." There are so many things wrong with just that one paragraph.

"How did Wedge manage to get into the Star Destroyer?" Well he obviously climbed in through a window, Krimson. Clearly that's a thing you can do in Wendig's version of Star Wars.

The "bad news being bad" line has big "people die when they are killed" vibes

"Let's leave our thoughts about the sequel trilogy aside." I think I will not, especially seeing the tab count. Seems like Chuck is a guy who would have been welcomed into the sequel trilogy writing room!

The thing I am still most salty about when it comes to disney star wars, is that they had these amazing novels by Timothy Zahn and just tossed them out of the window. I get the need to overhaul some stuff, since legends became a hot mess at some point. However, the story is just miles better than anything in the sequels or lore in between. If they wanted to center it around a female character, they could have told the story from Mara Jades perspective. She has been a fan favourite for ages. And don't get me started on Thrawn. He is one of the most beloved villains in all of star wars. But no, instead of him we got the edgy, angsty walmart version of vader.

I think an "Emerald Kofta Grouse" is a bird that shines like the most beautiful and fine emerald that mankind has ever seen. As such they are often hunted and are considered to be an critically endangered species. Due to their rarity and protected status, they are traded in the criminal under belly of the galaxy by smugglers, slavers, bounty hunters, and other criminals. There, I no nothing of this creature, I just made that all up.

"World building is not plot" LOTR has both, Disney Star Wars has neither.

Wedge Antilles was, in EU canon, an incredible badass who was called out of retirement three times because the galaxy needed him. That version of Wedge would never beg for mercy. But in Disney canon, they must denigrate everyone who isn't the Chosen Donut Steels, because how will the Donut Steels look awesome if anyone else is awesome?

I would like to thank you for referring me to "Star War The Third Gathers: The Backstroke of the West". I didn't know that this monumental masterwork was actually available fully dubbed on youtube. I'm lying in tears here, laughing at this cultural masterpiece of a more civilized times...

I couldn't read this book. The prose was terrible so I plugged some of it into a text analyzer. It's written at an American Grade 4 reading level. I don't know if that's intentional, but even kids deserve fewer sentence fragments. I kept marking up the pages as an editor should have done!

"The Empire was not known for its roomy architecture." Me, who played Battlefront 1 and 2 and often fell off the paths in the roomy Death Star battles: 👁️👄👁️ ???!!

The pre-Disney EU wasn't perfect, but it was a lot of fun. Definitely check out anything by Aaron Allston. As soon as the EU lost its semi-canon status, I was out.

"They made a ton of games" They gave EA the exclusive publishing rights and in 5 years they released 3 games, one of which was so bad it started a international conversation about the ethics of loot boxes and caused Disney to revoke their exclusivity rights. Didn't help The Last Jedi also had come out around this time and frankly Star Wars already had started to circle the drain in terms of long term profitability.

2:51:00 there's a quote that circles around military circles (or, in my case, military historian circles) that goes something like this "Fools discuss battles. Experts discuss logistics." It doesn't matter how many tactical battles one wins, if one doesn't have a strategic/logistic edge (or at least equal-enough footing), one can never win the war. Take for example the 100 years war, where the English beat the French in battle after battle. They still ultimately lost the war, at least in part, because England just didn't have the resources to keep fighting the French, while the French could replace loses. It's quite telling that the height of England's dominance during the war was when France was in the middle of a civil war, therefor had far less resources and those resources had to be diverted to other issues.

Chuck Wendig feels like the writing personification of trying to treat worldbuilding as lore.

I think I've realized what this book has that makes it feel so wrong in so many ways. Its Passionately bankrupt. At no point can you see any sense of passion in the text by the author, which is either a testament to how phoned in of a job this is or how bad of a writer Chuck is. In all the books in the description, you can see some passion somewhere in the text, heck, for Empress Theresa, that's all its got going for it. Here it feels like a teenager writing an essay for an English assignment, sure, they'll do it, matching all the expected requirements, but they don't care about what's actually being said, they only want the grade. Swap grades for a hefty Disney paycheck and you have yourself this book.

You're currently reading the first Star Wars book I ever read, while reviewing the last Star Wars book I read. The Thrawn trilogy was the first book series I read that made me /want/ to read. It was what turned me into a book lover. Cuck Wingding's abhorrent travesty of a word salad is the last Star Wars 'book' I'll read so long as Disney controls the IP.

Another lore check! TIE Fighters have no life support systems and their cockpits are unpressurized. That's why TIE pilots wear sealed flight suits with oxygen rebreathers. So when Norra jacked that TIE and went after the shuttle during the climax, she either stopped in the middle of abandoning her son to put on a pressurized spacesuit, or she somehow found a way to breathe and not have her insides sucked out in the vacuum of space. That or that scene took place in-atmosphere. Which raises a whole DIFFERENT set of lore issues. Because I'm pretty sure there's established lore that it's impossible to make a hyperspace jump within a planet's atmosphere.

I feel like the way Chuck did his "this character is gay" reveal kind of says a lot about why people think LGBTQ+ representation in media is forced and unnecessary. If that's how every scene mentioning LGBTQ+ characters/topics went, being forced and out of nowhere, then it would feel that way. This seems to be a problem with Disney in general, having forced single scenes that serve no purpose just so the company can have a moment where they seem progressive, even though they actively hinder good representation and are extremely status quo with a lot of their media. It's this idea of wanting to seem like a hero, make people think you're doing something when you really aren't. It makes them money, keeps them relevant, and gives them a sense of importance for "challenging the norm" while simultaneously enforcing the suffocating social structures we live in today.

An Emerald Kofta-Grouse mostly gets their looks from their father the famous Franz Kofta. But the coloring comes from it's mother Minny Grouse from the planet Chlorophyllia. If you can't picture that I don't know what to tell you.

Good on you for donating your majestic locks to children going through chemo. When I was in grade school, our janitor at my school did the same thing for Locks of Love. We even had a school assembly all about him cutting his hair with a joke thrown in about using garden sheers to do the deed (even brought those things on stage). I never heard so many kids cheer for a man getting his hair cut for charity. Twas a good day for us children.

That herkily-jerkily scene started out so well, the droid rolling into a cannonball and taking down a tie-fighter? Friggin awesome! And immediately ruined by using toddler language.

As someone who has read the full Aftermath trilogy, trust me when I say that everything you brought up in this video applies to the other two books, and if anything, gets worse. Chuck is a master of the unfired Chekov gun. So many small details get added in or mentioned purely to pad out the word count, and not to contribute anything to the story. In a big space combat scene, he specifcally mentions that the New Republic is fielding a single prototype T-70 X-Wing for the first time amid a squad of regular X-Wings. Great, so I'm sure we'll get a mention about how it performs far better than the normal ones to justify why he mentioned it in the first place...Aaand it's never mentioned again. So many potentially interesting ideas contained in the interludes too that just never get mentioned again. Therapy Ewoks. Sounds absurd, but the process by which New Republic anthropologists are able to explain concepts like psychotherapy to a tool age tribe to the point they agree to go off world to help soldiers with PTSD would be fascinating. Too bad Chuck doesn't give this idea anything more than a single throw away line.

17 minutes in and I’m already laughing, god this is going to be good. Akbar after surviving almost a decade of rebellion against the Empire with a true 4 year civil war after the destruction of the 1st Death Star: “The wars just beginning boys” God it’s like if someone during the American Civil War of WW2 or Napoleonic war or (insert here) decided that after 4 years of brutal warfare - in which they’ve been winning - now the wars just begun. Not when the tides turned - usually when that phrase is used and normally in a different context/meaning.

"I know writers who use subtext and they're all cowards" had me cracking up 😂😂😂

The shirt sometimes covering the "Pi" and spelling "Onion" in that phrase looks like ominous flashback to those three *"excellent"* books that were made by the Onion boi himself Greg

I think Wendig getting a job to write official StarWars lore is both hilarious and telling. Disney entrusted there new franchise to some rando, which kinda what happened to both the video games and movies for a while.

Krim, if you want to continue the Thrawn saga, I recommend this reading list: - Heir to the Empire - Dark Force Rising - The Last Command - Specter of the Past - Vision of the Future - Survivor's Quest - Outbound Flight - Thrawn - Thrawn: Alliances - Thrawn: Treason - Chaos Rising - Greater Good - Lesser Evil

I'm getting the time to watch this just now, and I'm 44 minutes deep so far, a couple of points: -It is nice to see someone who isn't very immersed in the old EU give Tartakovsky Wars its due, because way too many fans treat Filoni wars as their Star Wars ground zero. -The Y-wing pilot running the DS II was also specified in old EU, it was the protagonist of X-Wing Aliiance if I recall correctly. -Your pronounciation of Twi'Lek is fine, and even offical sources bounce between the "twee" and "Twai" pronounciations - Chandrilla is a planet that is mostly significant as the homeworld of Mon Mothma.