Lyrics Hey folks! Beggin' your pardon 'Scuse me! Sorry to barge in! But let's skip the tears And start on the whole, ya know "Being dead" thing Death is so my oeuvre I make crossing over smoother Try to think of me as lube for The hole, (heh!) you know, The whole "being dead" thing! When you're dead ya gets regrets "We shoulda carpe'd way more diems Now we're never gonna see 'em I can show you what comes next So don't be freaked, Stay in your seats, I do this bullshit like eight times a week There is no heaven, There's no hell, No meaning far as I can tell. Are you depressed? You should be! Welcome to a show about death! You're... You're gonna be fine on the other side (Die, you're all gonna die, you're all gonna die!) I'll... I'll be your guide to the other side- It's part of the dead thing! Dies Irae Death is not the easiest so don't be nervous Oblivion can really make a girl feel worthless Everybody needs a good transition service When they pass That's me! I come with the "dead thing"! Death can have its ups and downs "My polio's completely cured!" "I left my baby uninsured!" Stick with me I'll show you 'round Everything is great here Lots of friends to make here They're sailing on a lake here There's a giant snake here! Welcome to a show about death! You're... You're gonna be fine... Thank you! On the other side... How you doing!? I'll... I'll be your guide... To the other side. Seriously though this is a show about death. Invisible when you're sad Clocks tick and phones still ring The world carries on like mad But nobody sees a thing Whispering behind their hands Lost for kind words to say Nobody understands And everyone goes away Grownups wanna fix things When they can't it only fills them with shame So they just look away Is it being greedy to need somebody to see me And say my name? Seems when you lose your mom No one turns off the sun Folks carry on, that's that You're invisible when you're sad Holy shit! A ballad already!? This show's got everything! (sings) You're just gonna love the folks here Everybody's dead so everybody smokes here Everyday I do, like, a ton of coke here- The whole-- "Being dead" thing! The nightlife's hip, Aretha plays here Orgies last for several days here People tend to go both ways here They're like, "Bob Sheila" The whole "being dead" thing! Toss that body in the pit "Gosh it's awful" "Ain't it tragic?" "Blah blah bible jesus magic!" When you're dead who gives a shit? No pilates No more yoga Namaste, you fucking posers Baby, when you're toast you're toast And I'm the ghost you're gonna need the most You need a demon who's smart Helping you master the art So how 'bout we all make a start On the whole "being dead" thing God I hope you're ready for a show about death!
@@caffeinatedcat_ I meant emotional pain. Thank God Alex had tons of doctors check over & over to confirm he could do the Beetlejuice voice without permanently damaging his normal voice.
(Barbara screams) Adam: Barbara! Charles: Lydia! What did you do?! Lydia: I don’t know! She was supposed to be my mom Adam: what’s happening to her? Beetlejuice: Exorcism, death for the dead! Hey guys, AWESOME seance! lots of good old fashioned chaos. You lose, In your faces, cause look who’s holding all the aces! Adam: You did this! BJ: no, she did. Yeah, you really wanted your mommy, but mommy’s gone. You go to the netherworld, you don’t come back. Lydia: what do you want? BJ: I want to LIVE. So, if you want to save Barbara, then I need you… to marry me! Everyone: what? BJ: I know, left turn, allow me to explain. The handbook for the recently deceased, chapter 49. Where in the ghostly groom, that’s me, shall come alive if the cursed bride, that’s you, submits to be bound for lifetime in unholy matrimony Charles: You’re insane! She’s not marrying you! BJ: hey, it’s great that you ate up my plan. Now the pooch has been screwed, and shit’s hit the fan! You wanted me gone- Lydia: (spoken) I didn’t have a choice BJ: You wanted your mom- lydia: (spoken) It's my fault she's dying! BJ: You messed with the wrong book - now look what you've done! (Barbara screams) Lydia: (spoken) Okay! I’ll do it, I’ll marry you! BJ: YESSSS! Adam: Barbara! BJ: there’s…gonna… be… a.. good old fashioned wedding like they used to do Yemen, where the bride is young but still above the legal age of seven! When I finally say “I do” I’ll be alive and born anew! And I’ll be boring just like you! Oh boy, I’m on my way! (To Adam and Barbara) See ya, suckers! You’re going to the netherworld. Adam: No! Lydia: Wait! BJ: Yes, dear? Lydia: you have to let me say goodbye. BJ: make it snappy, I want cake. Being dead sucks, rent me a tux, I want to look like a million bucks. BJ’s getting married! Lydia: hey, beetlejuice. See ya sucker, Im going to the netherworld! BJ: what? Charles Lydia! BJ:…okay, new plan, I’m just gonna kill everybody… (sung) today!
My favorite part in this song is when Charles joins in singing briefly, it's so short but so good, I feel like he doesn't get enough singing parts to, you know, tell his side of things, like, everyone is calling him a bad father, but he just made a mistake. He was in mourning just like Lydia, he just didn't know how to process it. And yeah, it wasn't the best way, not at all, but, it was a mistake y'all. Please stop hating on him for trying to cope with the loss of the love of his life. Thank you for coming to my TED talk
Yeah I get why they cut this, because it doesn’t fit as seamlessly into this part as Barbra 2.0. but the plotline of the Maitland’s miscarriage makes me love the two of them even more. 😭💚
@@Fortniteskibidizigma It then builds up very well like the same way home does but then ends with the very anticlimatic spoken "mama no more running away". Glad they changed it
i used to believe naturally that everything happens for a reason, that there's some great plan that i just don't understand yet, that everything would work out in the end... then, like Lydia said, shit happened. now i don't believe anymore, now i can't believe anymore this song almost seems like a conversation with my past self bc of it
Hey so I think Lydia says Approximately 91 billion light years across and benign Not sure but that’s what I hear in the song Love this version of the song I wish there was a video of it
Why did they change the song for the 2 different Lydia's is it cause they bolth have different singing ranges ? Or was this when they first started the musical and then when they re opened they changed it
I believe I caught her show without notice till i hit the Broadway signs outside. By far my favorite it was a gem of a show to me, was extremely happy with the understudy taking over for my tickets.
btw the lyrics are “cover band” not “cover man” lol cuz weddings usually have live entertainment playing covers of popular music rather than a DJ playing recordings
I did the full lyrics because I was bored: L=Lydia Deetz. Bj=Lawrence Beetlejuice Shoggoth. A=Adam Maitland. B=Barbra Maitland. Bj: *gasp* You could use a buddy! Don't you want a pal? (yes I do, yes I do!) Girl, the way the I see it your daddy should be leavin' and you should stick around, (and kill him) L: What? Bj: Nothing! Revenge is not as fun, and believe me, it is fun if you're not there to claim the scalp. And I can be so- L: Gross? Bj: What- L: Creepy? Bj: Well- L: Ugly? Bj: Hm- L: Disgusting? Bj: Well, sure but more importantly the point is I can help! I'm in your corner. L: I don't want you in my corner. Bj: And I could be the worst no, the best- no, the worst. We could be a team that the world has never seen but you gotta free me first! So Lydia don't off yourself just stop your self, I can help you stay in the game, together we'll exterminate, assassinate! L: No. Bj: The finer points can wait. but first you gotta say my name (I can read) Go ahead and jump but that won't stop him, here you got a solid plan B option, I can bring your daddy so much pain, all you gotta do is say my name. Girl, just say it three times in a row and you won't believe how far I'll go, I'm on the bench but coach just put me in the game. all you gotta do is say my name. L: I don't know your name. Bj: Well I can't say it. L: How 'bout a game of charades? Bj: Yes, let's play it! L: Two words Bj: Ok L: Second word Bj: Right L: Drink? Bj: no L: Beverage? Bj: nope L: Wine? Bj: nope L: Juice? Bj: YES! L: Okay, first word. Bug? Bj: no L: ant? Bj: Close but no L: Beetle? Bj: YES! L: Beetle-Juice? Bj: Wow! I'm impressed. and all you gotta do is say my name 3 times, 3 times in a row it must be spoken unbroken, ready? L: yeah? Bj: Okay, go! L: Beetle juice (Bj: yeessss....) L: Beetle Juice (Bj: Yeeesss!) L: Beeeeee-(Bj: oh, this is gonna be so good!)-cause! You're so smart a stand up bro, I'll think about your offer, let ya' know! But I prefer my chances down below! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Being young and female doesn't mean I'm an easy mark! I've been swimming with piranhas I don't need a shark. Yes, life sucks, but not that much. Ok what's your name? Bj: What's my name? I'm the best you'll ever get girl! L: Be a doll and spare the lecture! Bj: I'm offering you a full time spectre. Trust me baby! L: I just met ya! Really, it's a flattering offer! Bj: Don't you wanna see dad suffer? L: (??) I'd rather just jump off! (BJ: NO!) I maybe suicidal but Beetlejuice its not as if I've lost my mind, No! Bj: so.. playing hardball, huh? L: Me? I wanna make sure I know who I'm working with, got any references? Bj:(?) *evil chuckles* B: Lydia, there you are! A: Are you alright?! Bj: A-dog B-town! My old pals!.. A: You get away from her! Lydia, this is a disgusting, despicable, dirtbag! *possession noises* A and b: Hey girl, how are ya?! A: I'm Adam B: I'm Barbra! A and B: We had lots of problems with this guy Charles Deetz! He moved in our house and we couldn't get him out A: oh I felt like such a failure thought of moving to Australia or Greece. A and B: at least! But Beej helped, we found him on Yelp, our troubles ended the day we befriended him, every part is the truth! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! B: what the heck was that? A: So violating! Bj: There ya go kid, a couple of uhh 5 star reviews! L: Neat trick. Bj: The possession? Yeah, I thought you'd see through that. L: Yeah, but how did you that? Bj: It's simple any ghost can do that L: any ghost?. Bj: Pretty much any ghost will do, sure. L: Then Beetlejuice, what do I need you for? Bj: Whoa, wait what wah waaa- Hold up! Hold up girl! I'm your pal, they're sweet but I'm a demon, straight from hell! I know I went a little hard on the sell, but we're B F F F F FS FOREVER! WOOOAAAHH- *falls off roof* A: Lydia L: What? He was already dead. and you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff. A: Any ghost? Do you mean us? Cause I don't think we can. B: Fool your friends. Fun at parties! I DID IT!! L: See? We can do this! L: Forget that guy, who needs him? The 3 of us alone can wreck dad's evening. Together we can make the grown man weep! Guys, we got a dinner date to keep. B&A: But nobody can see us L: Weren't you listening? Possession is far more interesting. A: (ohhh) L: So he wants the perfect daughter, I'll lead that lamb to slaughter! Yeah, I've got game! I'll make him say my name (B&A: make him say your name!) L: I'll make him say my name! (B&A: make him say your name!) L: I'll make him say my name! (B&A: make him say your name!) L, A&B: NOT RUNNING AWAY! L: My dad wants a dinner party? We're gonna bring the bananas. I'll make him say my name!!
