#1 Weird Way to Get Him Back (or Get Over Him Faster) - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy 

I just want to understand how they fall out of love so fast while we’re left hurting & crying all the time ...

All the hopes.. All the dreams.. All the promises.. Everything flashing around inside your head. It hurts cause it's all gone.

If he isn't thinking about how he's getting ME back, there's no reason for me think about getting him back.

I never thought I would lose this person. I felt so much pain. And it feels like he doesn’t even care about me.

Don't write the letter. You owe them nothing more. Leave them in the dark like they left you.

I'm too scared that if I break all contact he wont ever reach out again. But maybe that would be for the better. I find that talking to him, when I do, I'm in this extremely happy mood and I cant stop smiling, but then afterwards when he's no longer talking to me, I feel miserable. It's feeling of low self worth that no one deserves to ever feel

I hate how emotionally dependent I am on him.

After 23 days of no contact, she reached out to me today. The worst 23 days of my life, lost my job and 15lb. I decided not to answer her and continue my healing process. It is hard and tough, but you can do it. Every time I wanted to break the no contact rule, I watched this video and I told myself to just survive for today and don't think about tomorrow. Anyone who is going through a breakup now, I know you are in a great pain but you can do it and remember tomorrow will be better. Stay Strong.

every day that goes by, you think of them less. distract and improve yourself.

To everyone watching. This is 100% the truth. I cut my ex out because I wasn't going to be his friend while desperately hoping for something more. I never wanted him back...I wanted to get over him and forget. But months later he came back...and is more reliable then ever. Funny thing is...I realized I deserve better and I no longer want to date him.

Just passed day 5. Every day has been excruciating... but I know I have to carry on and this video just re-enforced that feeling... thank you.

Worse part is the withdrawal feelings. The panic and anxiety that goes with it. And yes I am addicted to him. And yes I know that’s not healthy. But it’s an human emotion we all have to get over .. and only time can help.

This is absolutely true and something I've tried teaching my girls. Whenever I've had A break up, I immediately get into NO CONTACT mode and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME they come back. Problem is, when they do, I no longer want them. If you're leaving, you need to STAY gone because there's no going back on my part. 7.5 billion people on this earth... nobody has time to be crying over some fool that does not recognize your worth! 7.5 billion people... Remember that!

funny how forever lasts about 4 months

I’m starting it today, this afternoon! I am moving on this time, forever. Sitting in my office and feeling the feels today. It’s going to be okay.

The best way is to never have any contact with the person ever again... Just move on and think of yourself

i’m really sad, crying, watching this. i really miss him and our story is quite long but i just wish he’d come back home. i’m falling apart and he doesn’t care. he’s just mean to me. i wish i didn’t feel anything anymore

Unrequited love is the worst kind of rejection. It feels like I'm dying. No appetite for food, no sleep, stomach feels full all the time, all I can think of is the beautiful memories. Please help.

The addiction is so damn real. The withdrawal is so horrible. He deserves to suffer

Literally sobbed watching this because it feels like you were talking right to my heart. Thank you for guiding through the next step of this agonising journey 💔😔

In short: the less you want them the more they want you

Perfect time for this... I miss him so much, and I want him back but I am keeping my distance from him. If you love someone, let him go. If he comes back he's yours, if not he never was.

Had me crying at “ but I’m with you” 🙏🏽❤️

I'm going through a separation/ divorce right now & this video really made me feel better. Thank you!

my boyfriend said he fell out of love with me a few days ago and honestly i dont miss him, its the memories and having THAT person in my life i will miss

When I was single or heart broken I spent so much time trying to convince guys that I was perfect for them, chasing guys, and wondering on how to get him to commit to me. I wish someone could have told me "He's just not that into you." It would have saved me so much pain. I'm now in a relationship with an amazing guy who loves me and for the first time I'm not insecure in our relationship, he's everything I've ever wanted. We're getting married in September💕Ladies please set your standards high and wait on the guy who puts you on a pedestal and treats you like the princess you are. Don't waist your time on a guy who's just not that into you. You'll never have to make any excuses for your soulmate, he's going to be everything you've ever wanted and so much more💜💍

I have go through multiple break ups, none hurts more then the first one, but the following have been bad too. The pain is indescribable, the worst. Worst than physical pain.

No matter if this might work or not . I think you are the first person who motivated me to move on

All I know is my heart is broken and it feels just like an actual pain

I got broken up with 5 hours ago. The first person I loved. I have cried non-stop and I have felt so empty and lost.... then I saw this. First video I saw when I came onto RU-vid for a distraction. I believe I was meant to see this. I believe it because 20 minutes before watching this I was planning all the ways I could get down on my knees and beg him to come back to me. This has given me some strength in fighting this addiction. Whether he comes to his senses or not, I need to take care of myself and take that no contact rule into immediate effect. Thank you, Matthew.

I haaaate chasing people. I actually don't know if I've ever been in love myself cause no matter how appreciate you, if you mess around it's over.

Thank you for this. I have been in the loop for over a year and decided today it needs to stop. When you said you can do this even after years, I felt strong 💘

You don’t need to get him back. Just worry about your health, wellbeing, and happiness ❤️

When he said addiction, my heart pushed my chest .. and screamed ....

Mathew, thanks so much, really I was hurt broken when he told me that we're done. I almost fainted, the pain was too much for me to do. But when I gave him a break,no contact, I enjoyed life with my friends going out. I thank God that am healing slowly. Thanks for your advice

Last time I listened to this video, I was in so much pain because I was just going through a heart break, nothing made me feel pain, watched all kinds of videos on break ups to make me feel better but nothing worked... It was an addiction...a few months later, I got over the addiction and thank God for the break up because now more than ever I realized he was not right for me, I now realize that I wasn't even attracted to this person and that he wasn't my person. Guess what? He shows up saying he loves me after I was already over him. I never went back to him and am so grateful for the rough times that I went through with heartache because it made me so strong and u have learned to never be addicted to anyone or anything

I’ve done the same thing before watching this video in my first break up with my first boyfriend and it worked. But when he came back I didn’t want him anymore. I’m going through my second breakup today and now I’m assured that this is what I have to do. Ladies, take care of yourself. If someone is worth it and actually wants you and is good for you, they would never make you doubt yourself and put you through pain. This type of men don’t love you, they love the love you give them, and they don’t find it anywhere else which is why they come back. I hope you all find someone that will never make you question your worth.

My ex broke up with me in January and got married in April to his "really good friend." We were together 10 years. The pain was unbearable for a few days but he made it easy for me to move on and I realized he did me a favor! He still called me afterwards but I did the no contact period;a period that will be implimented for life. Keep your heads up my broken-hearted girls it gets better, life gets better! #allthingshappenforareason

Watching this video after he pulls away made me realize I was giving him way to much attention I'm definitely starting no contact period tonight no letter he doesn't deserve it at all. Thank you so much Matthew

Your so intense and intelligent in human relationships. It’s not about dating you speak about but something greater than. Human interaction.

Been together for a year and a half. He's been doing this for the last three months, maybe even more. My no contact started yesterday. He called tonight three times and I didn't answer. My mind and heart was doing flips. A couple minutes later I received this notification. Angels working over time. Thank you Matthew, you're my Angel.

I broke up a 2 years toxic relationship and I turned all my pain around into losing 100 pounds... Turn your pain into something beautiful, I did it, you can do it too and Matthew is here ti support us...

This is sooooo accurate for me right now...a clean break of communication after 3 years of break up and heart break.

Am I the only one who watches that while crying ? ... bro that's really hard.

My boyfriend informed me that he fell out of love for me months ago and since then has been secretly seeing another girl my pain is unbearable

This is so true. I was in love with a man who was emotionally unavailable and I was willing to do anything for him. When he dumped me, it broke me and I tried to get him back...it backfired. I was miserable...but now I've come out from the other side. I've cut off all contact and moved on, I start taking care of myself, loving myself, cherishing myself. I wouldn't care if he comes back. I've found someone who treats exactly the way I'm meant to be treated: respect and kindness. To all those suffering, take care of yourself, love yourself and you will survive and thrive.

I just keep wishing day in and day out that he comes back to me

This really helped and made me feel better. I broke up with an amazing man 16 days ago, because we had an issue he couldn't overcome about something in my past, (that happened to me - not that I did). I miss him so much and haven't contacted him since I ended it, he hasnt contacted me either. I've been working, been out with friends, been to see family and yet I can't keep my mind occupied all of the time, so the sadness hits at weird times without warning. I hope he'll be able to see his reaction was over the top, and he'll miss me enough to try to get his head around what happened and fix things. If not, well then that's the best decision I could have made, even though it hurts.

It just feels like us girl are more sad than boys…

RU-vid knows that I got dumped in 2019 Well recommended youtube

Brilliant as always. Thank you so much for this, Matthew.

Mathew you are simply the best. Relationship advises are not very easy to pass on. But you do it so compassionately I can't help but relate with it. My boyfriend told me he is done, its been 4 months and we are still seeing each other, we still talk, he's still calling, but he is not saying about getting back together whenever we see. I get it now how he is making it easy for him, and harder for me.

The hardest part is not knowing whether you will stay and hope for a miracle or you will just let go and move-on. 😢💔

Just be patient. Make yourself busy & socialize with other ppl. And time will heal you ⚘🌹

I actually started my no contact with him 5 days ago & it’s going better than I thought it would. I’m trying my best to move on.

I didn't even realise that i was being addicted FOR MONTHS. Like, i only felt good when i was with him, and as soon as he leaves, i'm miserable and it's a never-ending circle. I love him, i depend on him and that's the point- you should NEVER give someone so much power to have over you! Thank you for this video, it's eye-opening!

The no contact rule works like magic.... My ex is back with speed but the truth is I'm completely over him and I don't want him anymore..... Thanks so much

I went no contact initially which lasted about 2.5 months, until he reached out. I took the bait so hard because I had been waiting and waiting for this moment. But I was all too quick to forgive him and come running to his doorstep. I think even he was surprised, he even said that he ‘can’t believe I am so forgiving’... I clearly wasn’t ready at this point to approach him with a clear, strong mind, but I didn’t know that at the time. I was still very much addicted. 2 months goes by and he basically used me again as his secret affair, despite always finding the words and answers that seemed to satisfy my questions. I finally had the courage to walk away and say I deserve better. It took a moment of strength to send that message, even though I spent weeks after going back and forth on whether or not I should’ve sent it. Either way, I stuck with it. He said he couldn’t be ‘that person right now’, and that would always be his answer, it was obvious to me then. A few more months go by, and I gave in a few times where I’d send a message letting him know I’m thinking of him or saying something kind. I thought about him every single hour of everyday. I tried to keep my distance but I’d always relapse slightly and feel I’d have to start again when I received such an average response back. Finally, November 2019 I sent my last ‘nice’ message, knowing I was about to leave for Japan for 18 months and start a whole new life. He didn’t even finish the conversation and just left me hanging. So I decided. This was it. I didn’t sent a Christmas message, or a Happy New Year message (which I would always do), and then Valentine’s Day rolls around. I didn’t send anything to him either. But low and behold, at 7pm at night a message comes through and there’s his name staring at my screen. It says, ‘Still think about you a lot! Where are you? I hope you’re having a good time! I trust you are.’ Now, as I clutched my heart and almost fell to the ground hyperventilating, it took the entire force of universe and some very caring friends for me not to reply. I’d been waiting for a message from him for so long. I’d cried and cried, I’d dreamt of him, I would still catch myself staring at his pictures, but still, at this point I’d gone 3 months of no contact and was feeling quite good about the future. When I decided that I wouldn’t reply, and I let it sink in for a few days, after about 2 weeks I felt really powerful! I had ignored him for the first time in my life. I knew what was better for me and my well-being, and whilst ignoring him felt unnatural and unkind (in my mind), the anxiety and uncertainty I would feel if I had messaged and fell back in that loop just wasn’t worth it. I wanted to keep the high ground I’d spent so long fighting for. His birthday passed a few weeks ago, and I also refrained from messaging him. I’m now feeling very strong, and him reaching out actually helped me with my healing process because it gave me a chance to ignore him. It gave me the choice to do so after some healing. I am feeling really quite good about it all now, and after blocking him off everything and making sure my settings are all private, it really goes help you think about them less each day, because reminders don’t just ‘pop up’, as you go about your day. Still healing, but making progress!

OH My Goodnesssss!!! Bro,I'm telling you, you are one of the greatest motivators I've ever watched after Jay Shetty. Thank you so much for this amazing motivation vid. I promise you, I'll start to do "no contact" from now onwards. Thank you, GBU Matthew Hussey 🤗💝

I realized watching this video that it's better not to fall in love with a specific person. Try to love yourself first is the best feeling.

He really broke my heart but I still Love him

i am thé only one running to Matthew's vidéos every time i feel like giving up on realtionships with thé world ?

It hurts so bad when you meet the right person at the wrong time and you both get overwhelmed with each other. We're still friends and promised to get back together when we work on ourselves but I'm so used to being with him I want to text him call him I really miss him. He told me he needs some space and I understand but it hurts so bad I want him back as fast as possible

Your voice is so comforting. First guy I've liked since my boyfriend died 2 years ago, I was so afraid of dating again... But I opened my heart. Made some mistakes as my triggers reared their ugly heads, he said he was willing to be a team, and that j should be willing tk be open and communicate more.... Then he went silent for a bit and the next time I heard from him he said he just wanted to be friends for a while, and that I'd have to be happier with my life and more stable if he was to consider dating again... I started therapy and was inspired by liking this new guy becasue I don't want to put my reactions onto a new love..... However there were a couple times when j did try and communicate my needs as I was feeling anxious, he kind of got defensive and dismissive. Anyway... I know he's not emotional mature. And I'm not entirely looking to get back with him. But, I need to move on.. This triggered the big loss emotion from 2 years ago...and at first I said I didn't wanna be friends.... Then I sent him a big message days later... And again.. And again, until he finally replied and said I can't give you what you need. And then i sent more and more.. And then resort g to begging him to at least stick to his word and try and give it a chance..... And then he said I broke his trust. And then I said I'd be willing to show him that I'm working on my last traumas and I won't go silent and abandon him, I won't always have these big reactions if I have a safe place to express these feelings.. And he said you need to go work on your stuff by yourself and he needs to work on his by himself.... And I sent one last message saying how about we hang out no pressure a couple times, we can see how it goes and then after we've actually given it a shit with open communication then at least I can walk away saying I tried my best.... He never replied of course. Is it too late to send the I accept message?...... Becasue honestly, I'm ready to, I want to... I know I'm just hanging on becasue he's the first guy Ive liked since my late partner and I thought he was special.. But I'm realsing he's just like anyone else... And there's definitely a man out there willing to love and support through my scary first relationship back after losing a partner to death..... But I have said alll of these things now... I know I'm being too much, too clingy, too desperate. But that's not really who I am. It's my trauma response. Any answers?

I’m back to this place every couple months. Ugh, exs are diseases. Please don’t expect to be back with them. Trust me, they will come back. They always do but it’s still not going to work. He’s still who he was and you’re just setting yourself up for heartbreak again. Ladies, don’t give them more opportunities than they deserved like I did. You will be alright again

Tried the no contact method after weeks of fighting with my ex over ridiculous things. Just over two weeks later he was asking me what he could do to make this work. I'm very happy. Thank you so much

This just gave me a lot of new energy.

2020...I'm here😢😢😢 How is it that you understand me more than my friends do😢

If I can do this, anyone can! I was in the "addiction" cycle with my ex for a long time. About 2 months ago, I decided I'd had enough and decided to start the no contact period. I'm currently on day 59 and I'm so much happier, stronger and I feel like the ball is in my court; I feel like I'm in control. For me, the first 3 weeks were the hardest, but it gets easier. For anyone going through a breakup, I promise you can do it! Thank you Matthew. This video has motivated me to keep going!

9 years ago, I was so in love with a guy while he only wanted to be friends with benefits. We dragged on for over a year on and off so finally I moved out of country and we were on no contact period for 7 hours years. Now after 9 years later since we’ve first met, we are seeing each other again. He cares about me so much more than ever and wants to spend time with me everyday. If it’s meant to be, he will chase you back. I gave him the gift of “missing me”. I use to cry myself to sleep every other night because of how he was treating me but moving away and focusing on myself growth for many years, I present myself in a different light. So, for those of you who feels lost, lonely and abandoned, the darker the tunnel, the easier to spot the light.

Do nothing! Is the best response 🤣

Thank you, Matthew. I am glad you said it’s never too late to start the no contact period because I’ve spent days non stop texting him and being clingy 😢 I will try to stop but it is so hard I can’t even describe it

So true! Relationship was bringing in a lot of stress and miscommunication, so he broke up w me. Did a clean break and talked off and on for a few weeks, he was back and forth w his feelings about me (i still loved him but not more than I love myself) so I got sick of him and told him to get the rest of his shit and get out of my life. He freaked and said that's not what he wanted. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Two days later he's at my door wanting to start over bc he didn't want to be without me...so yes raise the stakes, focus and fall madly in love with only yourself, and he'll come around or someone better will

I just dont understand why someone would ghost on me after promesing me the world. I cant help but crying everytime i think about him, he was so sweet and so nice to me i felt so lucky . It hurts alot

He is always so spot on with his advice!

I have never felt this way towards someone. He was everything to me. It has been 5 months since we broke up, and 3 weeks since we stopped being friends. No contact after him being my only contact for a long time was very hard for me. I didn't know who could ever replace his huge presence in my life. Truth be told, no one can replace him. I still love him, but he has moved on a long time ago as if we were never together. As if our time together was nothing to him while for me they're unforgettable. It pains me seeing him with other girls, smiling and laughing at other people, and avoiding me. I've been staying strong, I haven't talked to him even though I've had the urge to do so many times. It really hurts. I wanted a future with this person, I imagined a future with this person. I miss this person so very much even though it has been so long and seeing him causes me to feel that heartbreak again and again. I'll continue going strong, but it really sucks.

I'm about 18 months into 'no contact' and it changed my life - for the better. Without the overthinking about whether he would call me, whether I should call him, should I accidentally on purpose show up where he is so we bump into each other etc. I've allowed myself to move on just being....me....and doing life without him. I know if we had stayed in our cycle of dipping in and out of contact I would have been stuck forever holding on just a little bit to a man who wasn't right for me.

My heart feels like it's literally hurting..

THANK YOU FOR THIS VALUABLE ADVICE!

This meant a lot and I really needed to see this video. Even your ascent and the background music was a nice touch! Thank you❤

You used the term 'addiction' that breaks my heart cause that was supposed to be love before the break up

My boyfriend broke up with me because he said I’m boring. That was the stupid excuse. I was a good woman but I hope he can find a fun woman but what goes around comes around.

You are the best!!! I just love your coaching and advise. You are so genuine and real !!

This time around we broke up and I have cried just one night, I don't know how I am feeling anymore , am not hurt even , God thank you

u cannot imagine how the timing of this is perfect... thnx

The best advise ever.. thank you Matthew for the video. My no contact rule is still going on.. 1 year 5 months later... Ended a relationship with my then bf of 1 year, who just didnt know what he wanted.. I got tired feeling in libo.. .and walked out.. This time for me has been about just focusing on myself ..my career.. my family..my health... its been an amazing time of self discovery.. I know my worth and know I wouldnt settle for anything less.. Surprisingly he contacted me last month... after all this time.. via email .. stating he has regret for letting me go and apologising for never appreciating me..I never replied..thats validation enough no contact does work... I have moved on .. and for him.. his finally realised what he wants.. albeit quite late.. Lol.. but he now realises what he wants or will value in a woman.. no regrets.. love and happiness only to him and everyone out there reading this.. in an extremely selfish world out there.. we must practice self love..

I don't have anyone to talk to about how heartbroken I am. Thank you for this video.

Just broke up 2 weeks ago and until i found this video i’ve been feeding to my addiction and no response from him. Really hurt my pride.. thanks for the advice

reading the comments make me feel better after a breakup... :')

I started the no contact period months ago and ever since I feel myself remembering who I was single. It's crazy. I can't lie that I miss that feeling of having someone there but it's not as urgent as before. I feel amazing. Mathew knows what he's talking about

I love the diagrams. Withdrawal symptoms make total sense.

I watched the links you attached and realised I didn’t want him anymore. Thank you 🙏

I finally told him not to contact me because he asked to remain friends and he was perfectly fine with the decision he just said ok and that was that. I think that made the break up even worse. His nonchalant attitude about it is driving me insane and I’m not the type to get in a relationship if I don’t see forever with them.

Wow. It’s like you’re talking directly to me. This stuff is so crazy painful.

I broke up last night. In the morning I try to text him and call him 10 times , finally I talked to him, he didn’t want to talk with me, but I begged him to stay, I asked him, do you still love me? He said “ I am no longer love you anymore “. I still beg him to stay. I just can’t accept it. It hurts so bad and I know I never get his respect. He use bad words to me..😢😔 still I keep listening and talking to him 🥺 I said I was a negative virus and a trash 😖 . After I watch this, I will love myself and move on. I have to accept that my love is over. Thanks 🙏

Thank you Matt… I am crying right now..

perfect timing for this video. im currently going through a break up that is tearing me apart right now. this video is spot on. thank you!!!

This advice totally works. When my ex and I broke up months ago, I was completely broken inside, I was in pain, but one thing that I knew for sure was that although I loved him so much I didn't want to get him back again. So I stopped talking to him, I deleted him on social media, I totally got away from him and now I'm moving on. I mean It is not easy to do that when you really love that person and the thing you want the most is to be by their side, but he never loved me so I have to stand up for myself, and the good thing is I feel happier and I know I deserve better. Now I know I did the right thing 😀👌

this is unbelievable I can't believe I get my ex-husband back after two years of not talking to each other

❤❤❤ Matthew hussey you are doing well work getting healed ppl I have been surfing as soon as I started ti watch your videos since yesterday I feel better