well constructed video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her..
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Its okay to express yourself my dude. Everyone has their own time to process feelings and move on... we have this bs cultural shadow telling us that for everything there is a minimum and maximum time and thats not how it works. Sometimes we will need to repeat ourselves over and over, because that's how we learnt to cope with life and make us human.
The thing your mentor said, about " having someone who believes in you more than you believe in yourself" would fix a lot of problems for a lot of people.
Appreciating the present. Invaluable. I've just realized this recently. Forget about the past. Be cognizant, but don't worry about the future. Be thankful and enjoy what you have now, today.
ok a) can't believe you're 40 - you look fantastic. honestly thought you were my age (28). and b) your videos always give me faith in other men like you being out there in the world so thank you. your wife and son are very lucky to have you in their life.
There are men out there like this. Are you the type of woman that he would want? I hope so. If that’s the case, you would have incredible children and an awesome legacy. If you are not, then become that woman. You have the potential.
@@justinjex1 well i don’t go for the type of men that offer unsolicited advice to women they don’t know on the internet.. so all i can do is ignore your advice unfortunately to avoid men like you. but thank you nonetheless
I am in the process of doing what he's talking about, I don't use Facebook anymore, I don't have social media for the most part, only FB messenger to talk to family and friends who I can't talk to otherwise. It's not easy, but progress hurts sometimes.
I'm in a bad spot right now, I know it will get better but I'm just listening to this video before I sleep cause I'm a little scared about my future, thanks for making the video Connor, I don't know what else to say but thanks
This is some of the best advice I have seen any from any men's help experts on RU-vid. Every single item resonated as true and helpful, and some of them were profound -- the point about not comparing your pain to other men's was really helpful to me. I really admire your energy and your wisdom. Thank you for what you do!
This is probably the most powerful video I’ve ever watched and it came at such a perfect time. Having difficulty navigating one of the toughest stretches I’ve had to endure and what you said about not knowing how to handle it struck me. Wow, thank you. Just ordered the book
“Stop making excuses”. Roll credits 😂. No seriously, I couldn’t receive any other messages after that one. If I can stop making excuses, I could turn this ship.
First tip was overrated because everyone works out nowadays, but man the rest of the video was just straight insights. The one thing I would focus on is “make your pain your purpose”. That really would solve a lot of simultaneous problems at once in my life.
Thanks for this. They are all true. #7 is #1 for me. Well, it was anyway. Once I understood that this could be repaired, I became and I'm becoming the man that I wanted to be.
You know, I realized, all the times I went to the hospital, no one in my family ever came to see me or friends(lol). I gotta say, once you know no one cares around you, it makes you wake up to how people 'can' be. I want to become an animal and seek revenge but I will not. Not even a call to check up on me, well complaining about bills. All good though, thanks for nothing. No love lost, when it was never found.
Stop comparing yourself to other men, but create benchmarks for success. Look at men as examples for success AND create the epitype of the man that you want to be from the conglomeration of positive traits. I do have to plug combat sports, especially Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. We talk about that a lot, but it is a game changer for those of you that want, need, and crave improvement.
I feel stopping the pursuit of short term gratification and learning impulse control will help me the most. This ties into a few of the other things you mentioned for me. Yes the others are important but this one is something I can start today. Do you have any tools for this? Should I try to track those moments as I overcome them? Or would that just feed back into it in some way?
29:20 was very helpful for me to realize. it wasn't until i fully embraced this that i really could feel the full extent of my feelings regarding some aspects of my victimization. one of my primary defense mechanisms have been to deny my weakness or vulnerabilities
Disseminate means to spread or to scatter. In a derived sense, it can also mean to publicize. This is the second video in which I have heard you use the word incorrectly.
Book still not available for the UK. Do you hate the English? Joking but I’d enjoy adding it to the arsenal of tools. Loving the content but Everytime you plug it, something agitates me 😂
Damn!! Still not available…. Sorry man, I’ve been working with my publishing house to get it there. Massive pain. Should be available through amazon, no?
@@ManTalks Unfortunately not. No avenues for UK/Eng purchases outside of getting someone over there (stateside) to send it to me which sadly not an option for me. I understand this things often not a creators fault and appreciate the response tho my man. Consistently great and commendable work.
@@ManTalks my bad, recently added to Amazon for preorder Sept 1st. Not an agonising wait given I’ve already waited thus far. Thanks for giving me the reminder/initiative
One criticism I have here is about your first point, where you seem to argue that sleep hygiene is not as important as exercise. They are both incredibly important, and it could be detrimental to some people to believe that their sleep quality can be compromised in favour of exercising. The truth is that there is space for both, and that depending on one's life situation, one of them might need to be prioritized about the other. And if one's mental state is deeply affected by fatigue, proper sleep and rest will be just as important, if not more important, than a strict exercising regime. That being said, everybody has time for, at the very least, mild exercise (say, a walk) every day!
I understand not giving women the attention they crave through apps and social, but I'm someone who isn't on any of those. That isn't going to help you get into a relationship because most men need to do those things in order to meet the woman in the first place. And when you said not to go after women you don't have a shot with, that's especially hard because anymore, an average guy has trouble even getting a below average woman. A man who is a 6 is lucky to get a woman who is a 4 because she's holding out for a man who is an 8. And while I don't look at much porn, I'm guessing you're referring to masturbation as well. Most men, including me, aren't giving that up because that's the only sex we get. I'm with someone and haven't had sex in almost a year. We had sex once in '23 and once in '22. Before that we had sex maybe 2 or 3 times a year and the first few years we were together, maybe 5-6 times. So like most married men, taking care of it yourself is about the only sex you can get. And I'm not giving up video games. While she doesn't like me doing it, at least I'm on the couch with her. If I'm out doing the things I used to do like long bike rides or in the kayak and I'm away from her for the majority of the day, then she will make life unbearable. I think I'm like most guys my age when it comes to games. When we were young, we'd play video games and D&D because we couldn't get dates. We now play them because we've gotten dates and learned we prefer video games to being in a relationship.
... as a German Biochemist Ph D - it is Genetics the conditioning of the PAIN - Reward Pattern in the Auto Pilot to which we have NO access - no matter how hard we try to get there ever. It takes intense Inner Strength Training - a sort of „Navy Seals“ Training to de Condition from that pattern and establish a new Genetics of PAIN Reward - that restructures the Auto Pilot In a wider sense it is „De Domestication“ from the social cultural forces that program our Minds - to do things that are BAD for us - and ultimately destroy the Bio Sphere. The Auto Pilot is never addressable via rational and “verbal” means! Best Business for the Mind Opiate Drug Pushers$$$$$
Great video Conor. It might be very helpful to acknowledge that to stop believing you are broken (which is undoing shame) is not a simple decision. It takes time, dedication, and hard work. Its definitely doable. But to just say “stop doing it” implies it is simpler than it really is.
Why is there always, always, always someone in the comment going “yeah, well, doing X is not that easy”. Always. No one said it was? Why are you attacking the few people who are fighting for you? What is the end goal of this comment, really?
You forgot some rather obvious and important things like the complete degeneracy of everything mainstream disguised as "peace/love/new-age/hippy" movements that preach acceptance of *"everybody" while hypocriticaly practicing the opposite. As well as all of the weak followers of the false dichotomy of the left v right paradigm, where people foolishly and ignorantly speak badly about, lets say.. the "right" or Trump, while supporting something as odd or ridiculous as our current supposed "leader of the free world" 🙄 It all goes into the trash where it belongs.
@@andersnielsen6044 And instead, we will get the "Misandrist", "Feminist" and "Liberal" society of our current culture. Two sides of the same coin mate.
I'm 25 and struggle with woman after a 3 year relationship. I'm confident that most pretty women want to be manipulated. Being genuine disgusts them. Gotta go a few tiers lower lol
Or ten things I can keep doing because I don't trust any girl. As long as I have Jesus and my video games then I'll be fine. I dont care what women find and don't find attractive. We are broken. Every one is broken. Only Jesus can save and fix us.
24:42 I'm believing that my brokenness is under repair, with healing actively taking place. 26:32 someone believed in me before I believed in myself. You're the person @RubyRainbow
