ENTP with an ENTP bf and it is so accurate. The relationship, so far, has been awesome but there comes a period after every few months where we both feel we've got too familiar of each other and though it's comfortable, the excitement has got lesser. And that's when we change something about our lives like go on a trip, or take up a new hobby, find a new project..and it has worked every time
ISTP is spot on. Feeling pressured to accomodate to people is a real drag to deal with. I would rather be on my own than feel as if I have to force a smile and constantly assure people that we are on good terms just because I dont want to, well, emote or express all the time.
Me too. I can handle feigning enthusiasm or sympathy for a short time to be kind, if it's a one time kind of thing. But I hate being pressured to show and feel emotions that someone else thinks I should have. I also hate having a situation that eats away my freedom and plans. I set up a peaceful, independent life on my own, and I like it that way.
Felt. In my first/last relationship, I felt constant pressure to show/prove my love and it was exhausting. Is it not enough that I already talk to and tell you more than anyone else in my entire life? That I constantly have you in my head, making every decision with you in mind? The freeing feeling that came with breaking up was unparalleled. I’m not trying to get attached to anyone else any time soon.
As an ENFP I can say my biggest fear in a relationship is having my dreams broken. We daydream hard about our partners, imagining a beautiful future together, but when our daydreams never come true, we can feel highly dissapointed and even anxious.
A good friend of mine was ENFP. I loved the humor of this guy. But I was in sorrow of him cause I realised his shatterness from his inside and what he told me about him self. Even his flat was a mess. So I redpilled him from time to time. I think that broke him and started a reprogress in his mind that ripped him out of his nostalgical dreamworld. I was sorry for that. But I had to do it. ENTP
The INTJ rings true for me. You are spot on about fearing my own desires when it comes to relationships. I pragmatically know what I'm looking for in a partner, yet I am willing for some variables so that it is realistic. At the same time; my desires can tempt me towards the wrong person. Which is already a terrifying thought. I always have to lean in to my head to make sure if the relationship is worth pursuing to begin with. See if our values align, if we have chemistry, if we're truly compatible for it to actually be successful. I've had time to ponder this and experience different things to know my likes and dislikes, etc.
@@iloveyoufromthedepthofmyheart That is interesting, however, when I say "wrong" people, I mean: in terms of values being different to the point of incompatible. Due to us having different needs and preferences as an individual. That was my intent of saying that, yet, could be applied in different ways. But reading what you said, I wonder if there are variables to that. I say that because people, the psyche, and emotions, are complex. I'd imagine even the secure attachments can find someone, get to know them, develop feelings, but ends up being with someone who isn't good for them because the person of attraction was just crafty enough to hide who he/she truly is. What's your thoughts on that? I'm interested in having a discussion on this and see what we can come up with.
Chapeau bas Nathan 🫡 I’m an INFJ and my partner is an INTP. We can totally relate to this! And we’ve discussed them. So we navigate the relationship in a mature way, trying to overcome those fears which had appeared in previous relationships. With his Ti, he breaks down my anxieties, finds their roots and calms any uncertainties with reassurance and solid actions. Meanwhile I understand his need for physical and mental space. We agreed from the beginning that I don’t misinterpret and over analyze his silence. If anything is wrong, we communicate our thoughts and feelings right away.
INTP female with INFJ male, hello! We do the same! We got on the same page early on that arguing gets us nowhere and we both understand we're a team and every time there's a conflict or "big thing" going on, we talk through it together and put all of our cards on the table. We understand that we're not out to get each other and there's no malice. We legitimately care about each other and want the best for both of us. With his Fe he actually listens and calms me down, because I'm the anxious/more neurotic of the two of us, but I'm the one who always prepared for shit to hit the fan. I help him understand that sometimes what he wants takes precedence and in order to better himself he can't always allow other people's feelings to get in the way. Sometimes you have to hurt some feelings to get things done (like getting a promotion, for example).
As an ENTJ, I have never related more. All of my previous romantic relationship exes have at least always at some point said to me "I feel like I am holding you back" and they've always been right. I hate being limited and stopped from what I want to do, especially with my significant other. I want a power couple, we tackle the world and live our very best, not be limited and afraid of the unknown.
You need to be with an INTJ. That’s a perfect match for the ENTJ in my opinion. Definitely power couple but also INTJs have enough differences to help ENTJs in the areas that they fall short in and same for ENTJs helping INTJs.
The way he described this is exactly how I talk to my friends about why I have been single for the past few years and my past relationships didn't work out. He hits the nail on the head.
@@EresirThe1sthahaha I don't think so, intps hate generally everything about power game, like infj. There are quiet personalities, direct, true, with a deep need of justice and coherence in all they do. And they love to do nothing most of times 😂 I am INFJ with an INTP boyfriend.
@@EresirThe1st I see this pairing a lot and I strongly disagree. As an ENTJ female who works with many INTP, I find them very intellectually stimulating but their lack of ambition is a huge turn off.
As INTJ, I can tell you that sometimes it's not either the Head or Heart...my worst train wreck of a relationship came to be because he passed both Head and Heart while my Gut cried out NOOOOO, but Head and Heart railroaded Gut into sidelines overwhich to this day, Gut calls them both out with I Told You So's. :/
OMG SAME AND TRUE! As an intj as well, the GUT is always true. Truer than Head and Heart. I recently was betrayed in a friendship of which my gut warned me not tostart. Honestly, i've been ignoring my head and heart several times in my life but i've never feel as heartbroken and disappointed in myself like this. It's like GUT was laughing at me while im in misery. I learned smtg that day tho, as an INTJ, I should never betray my GUT
@@ak9335 I'm so sorry you had to learn this too. :( Never let logic or feelings overrule that Introverted Intuition, even if it doesn't make overt sense. It's our dom, and we always suffer when we dismiss it.
OOF!!! Nathan, the INFP "Identity Submersion" really hit home. I think it's actually my marital core issue. I think I spend 90% of my time supporting my ISTJ wife in helping her fulfill her identity and the other 10% rescuing mine. Brilliant analysis, as usual. 🙂
I’m an infp woman with an istj fiance 🤣My fiancé pretty much has seen the worst of me. I can be hysterical or worry about all my insecurities, and he is just there calming me down all the time. He’s got himself figured out and I feel that he is the one adjusting to me all the time.
You are spot on. I am an ISTP and my mum is an INFP, we seem like polar opposites. It can be exhausting to talk with her, I know she wants me to match her emotional level. She always tells me I have a wall that she can't penetrate. So I try to force my emotions out, but it feels fake, and she can tell so thinks I'm faking it. Sometimes she thinks I don't care about her. Did I mention it's exhausting? When I see people connecting I think "how do they do that? I wished I could." It's tough having a low fe sometimes. OK I'm off to go and scream into a pillow. ✌
I understand your frustration very well. I’m an INTJ and thus have a Fe blind spot. My mother is an ESFJ and therefore an Fe dom. I know it’s very difficult, have you explained to your mother that showing and talking about your emotions that openly is something you’re uncomfortable with? You could also show you care about her via acts of service or gifts or physical contact such as hugs.
@@42Prometheus You're right, I do a lot of things for her but I've never really told her I can't do emotions. Perhaps a hug wouldn't hurt either. Thankyou :) That moment you have to tell an ISTP to hug her mum lol. 😬
I relate to this as an ISTJ, who has an ESFJ mother. She calls me "closed off" at times but really I just don't want to burden other people and I find being so vulnerable cringeworthy for myself - I too admire others ability to do so but I just can't without having a full-on breakdown lmao
@@rach_bot I’m glad I’ve been able to help you. Don’t blame yourself for struggling with expressing emotions or showing you care about the people close to you, I guarantee that every Thinker ever has felt the exact same way.
I relate to this and have had to excuse myself or be honest that I find it exhausting. And I’m an Fe user being ENTP! Still exhausting. Borderline introvert here
ENTP is perfectly spot-on, Nathan! This is why I rarely have crushes, because when I truly know them--familiarity breeds contempt. However, for the right person, I don't mind being the one to fan the flames when it dulls down.
As an ENTP who's always falling for INFJ's, I am certainly an INFJ myself based on this one, which is kind of ironic, but I highly value meaningfulness itself and the needs of the person with whom I can be the best version of myself.
Our biggest fears are precisely what we need to work at overcoming and developing, if it is our goal to become a fully integrated individual. As an ISTP, not fearing the challenges of emotional and feelings experience, not withdrawing into the illusion of comfort of personality preference, ought to be our primary focus, if we desire to become mature rather than stagnate into a cardboard cutout. Every personality needs to healthily integrate their shadow functions rather than doubling down on their conscious functions. If we are not doing this, then we might be missing the entire point of being a human personality.
*INTP* - Yes, being encroached upon, but also, feeling isolated and alienated because you're misunderstood. You're exhausted from having to explain yourself, and then give-up trying because nobody gets it and you look like an obnoxious something-or-other when you do. Then, loving someone but never being able to do all the cliche stuff to show it or worse, when you show it in your INTP way, and they cant tell you're doing it...
Have you ever noticed how we all have a different way of showing affection towards others? Some people show it through quality time, others tend to give practical advice, some love carefully picking gifts,… It is kinda normal to not always understand and appreciate a language of affection (especially if it is not our own/preferred one). I think that clarity and consistency in actions, intentions and words can help with this. P.S. You have mentioned feeling isolated and alienated. Regardless of type, people feel this deeply - particularly in challenging times. I know someone who is ESFJ and feels this way. If you have ever met one, you have probably noticed their warm energy and welcoming attitude. However, the problem is that such thing is rarely reciprocated and appreciated. So, once this person was dealing with their own personal issues, they quickly realized that most relationships they have formed were one-sided. They couldn’t talk to others about their trauma because they have put the pressure on themselves to only share parts of who they are that bring smile to others. The way the person framed this was: I am usually the one making others feel good. Why would I put negative energy of my problems onto their shoulders? The aim of this reply was to make you feel less isolated and encourage you to share more of who you are with others.
@@solarisan_ I'm actually a very passionate INTP. Logical to a fault and will correct people and lecture them on the facts etc. but I could also, cry at music, throw a glass when things go wrong, or rip down the sky when I'm protective of someone or caring about some issue or whatever. I'd be mistaken for one the hyper emotional types... Oddly, when I should show emotions the most, I don't, and when I shouldn't, I do. Which isn't very logical but then, people aren't. Its a whole mess lol
@@satyasyasatyasya5746Thank you for sharing this with me. 😇 Have you tried actually communicating this with people around them and making sure they know what your normal way of functioning looks like so they don’t get confused?
@@solarisan_ Yes of course. I've explained myself to death to almost everyone I've ever met. But the problem is, nobody wants your trauma dump or a verbal essay on how you work, how you process things, how they should treat you, and how you love or how they should take your behaviour. You just look like a narcissist or demanding. The problem with selfdiscovery, is that all that you learn about what you are, only goes in your head, nobody elses, and the only way to share that knowledge is to lecture them. But this is rule1 of what not to do in human relations.
@@satyasyasatyasya5746 While being on this self-discovery journey, we are all confronted with parts of ourselves that are far from flattering. More importantly, we get to know why such things are set in place. Meanwhile, we also understand why others react the way they do and perhaps appreciate and value things we do not. Such awareness helps build bridges. I can tell you that I have noticed how my mind creates narratives around circumstances that are mostly informed by personal experience. For example, someone not replying on time has been something I used to consider and place in the file of ‘lacks responsibility’. Now, do they really? Who knows? I have realized that their way of living life and communicating is up to them to decide on. The reason why I am sharing this is because you have probably noticed the mind narrative. And it happens to everyone. Both for you and those you are trying to reach out. The best way for them to “wake up” from the mind narrative is by becoming aware of how their mind associates and connects things and how such process is conditioned by factors such as upbringing and buying into standards placed in life early on.
The amount of accuracy in the ISFJ one is horrifying. I literally started psychotherapy and antidepressants because I splitted with my former best friend and I feel that all we shared and all I did for her mean nothing to her while it was everything to me.
(INTJ) Definitely a valid observation, fear wise, but wouldn't that describe many types? I think our fears are much like the INTP''s, in that we fear having our independence and space taken away from us. You're definitely right about the types we may or may not go for. I think other types would be surprised to find the type we're most likely to end up with is an INFP.
So true, I am an entj, and you are spot on with the "low ceilings". Slowing me down is one if not my biggest fear in a relationship, being stuck in a mundane, mediocre reality.
That is why all two of ENTJ i know, on some point throw away their spouse like a trash. Because new opportunieties are more tempting. Nevermind how much they achieved together mostly by the support and sacrifices of the significant other. Horrible people
@@CountessLioncoeur the problem with calling someone a horrible person is that it is easy to live up to that expectation 😂 ENTJs are afraid of being bad people, so when they are called bad people, they have nothing to lose and become rather dark. Maybe those partners became boring people, dropped their standards, gained weight, stopped being attractive, became overly critical etc. so they were not the horrible ones. There are always multiple viewpoints, a victim-perpetrator one is usually a gross oversimplification. Anyway, hard to discuss without the details.
I'm an INFP, but I identify more with the ISFP fear due to my personal experience. I dated someone that I'm guessing was an INFJ and everything was perfect until they started gaslighting me. We had been friends before dating too, so I thought I knew them well. It made me aware that anyone can betray you, and no matter how careful and observant you are, you can never know for sure. People are unpredictable. I've never been able to trust anyone to the same degree since.
@antoinettegabrielle3991 Thank you. They did a lot of things like criticising me for random things, disappearing for long periods of time, and lying about where they were or what they were doing. Then if I would question them, they'd say that either it didn't happen, I was overreacting, or I was doing it to them. When it was over, they waited 3 months to semi-apologize.
This is so true. As an INFP I loathe the idea of losing my identity or being changed for the relationship. I'm not even willing to change my last name for a guy. I can't even stand sleeping in the same room! Or having similar schedules. Surprisingly our relationship is amazing and filled with a lot of closeness. The INFJ man I am with is very understanding and he loves the fact that I fill our relationship with a lot of inspiration and creativity.
As an INTJ I had a giant dylema with that. Because many men had confessed to me over the years and at the end I chose the most check box fitting, secure and responsible one. But I struggle, because there out others who would love to be with me and who would give me passion and all, but they wouldn't give me security. So I stay with my boring as hell partner. Because passion and feelings are not as important as security. I prefer to have a boring one, but one who wouldn't put us in debt or any dangerous situation. Although the temptations are... Well... Tempting.
ENFP here... my biggest fear is by far being abandoned. The absolute worst thing to me is if the most important person in my life doesn't want to be with me.
@@christineherrmann205 There is no doubt that I am an ENFP. I am 100% extroverted intuition. I am also 7w6 enneagram. I have looked into possibly being an INFP, ENTP, and ENFJ but the primary functions just don't line up at all. I am constantly trying to finding new things and authenticity is paramount to me. Beyond that, I can't finish anything to save my life before I find something else and impulsive is something of an understatement. Between all that, my enthusiasm, creativity, charm, and energy, there's just no doubt. My abandonment issues are from trauma (because of course they are lol)....
@@afrosamourai400 I have lived alone for a while in the past and it didn't bother me at all. I'll never be able to live alone again, though. My disability requires me to basically have 24/7 medical assistance.
@@afrosamourai400 people that don't have clear values. They don't give direct answers, play with words, avoid the point that you're bringing up... Not just once but it's generally how they deal with the world. You just feel they're not genuine or that they're hiding stuff or they're all over the place.
Sou ESFP e meu namorado é INFJ, os problemas são exatamente os citados no vídeo. Também me vi bastante no ENFP, pois é necessário ter muita abertura para sonhar e viver aventuras e eu sempre deixo tudo em aberto o que afeta bastante o INFJ, que querem saber passo a passo o que eu quero ou pretendo fazer da vida.
Exactly! Thank you! I was trying to explain to people that ISTP people are not unemotional or unable to feel other people's emotions. I feel them so much, I have fight or flight triggered all the time by being around overly fearful, negative or bullying people. I will avoid watching shows because I know there is going to be a big emotional scene. Now, remorse and romance are fine. But, horror movies make me feel like I have to do something to help people that can't be helped. I don't mind the ones, so much where I can put myself in the place of the person and where that person is not a simpering ninny. Like Dog Soldiers. In fact, I had an experience much like that before, but without werewolves. Well, not real ones. First time I saw Friday the 13th I hated it. It was a lot of ineffectual people failing to fight back. One time this lady had a cast iron skillet- a mighty weapon- and she hit him once and then dropped it and ran away. AAAGGHHH!! The whole audience was so freaked out by then, just constantly yelling at characters, "Hit him again!" and stuff like that. So frustrating. The next movie of the double feature was 'Prophecy', about a bear that was mutated by mercury poisoning. Had some Native Americans in it- probably real ones. One of them shot the bear with an arrow. He didn't have two. Then, he jumped on the bear, pulled out the arrow and stabbed that poor creature repeatedly. It was a very emotional movie because you want the bear to die, but you feel bad for it because it is tortured and born strangely and its not at all at fault. It's killing a lot of humans, though,so it has to go. There was not so much "Why are you all idiots! Stop making demand of me if you won't listen." problems with it, though. And, then, oh the sweet release of tension of seeing a man obviously doing the most functional thing possible under the circumstances. (sigh). Sometimes, yes, when I need to relax, I think of a man stabbing a mutant bear or a tiny Englishman beating the hands of a werewolf with a hammer. Good men! They knew how to use their tools! But, I digress ... I was trying to explain to people that we definitely have emotions and we know how to use them. It's that they keep overwhelming us with theirs because we actually feel them too much. Hey! That's a great asset when it's time to fight, run or hide; but it's kind of terrible when trying to get a presentation ready by 3 p.m.- which is not our greatest skill, in the first place- and Marlene is acting crabby at her staff because her boyfriend broke up with her, her period started and Jessica's dad is in the hospital with a room not too far away from Ted, who has cancer and everyone is worried about that.
Same, there are so many shows that i start out watching and enjoying that i will drop as soon as i can sense a big emotional scene coming up especially since it all could have been avoided by just explaining their POV. It just stressful and frustrating for no good reason
That’s why i hate watching horror movies i’m not scared of the jump-scares i’m scared of that because when one of the characters is keeping a big lie from everyone and then at the point when everyone finds out and is about to confront them gets me so scared that i have to stop watching it but them i watch it again to see everyone’s reaction and stop again 😭😭
I like the INTJ view, I think we would love to let our heart rule from time to time, but its so very much a dream more than anything, we know the head will always win if it matters
I'm an INTJ that let my heart rule & OMG I'm so glad I did. Talk about highs & lows & everything in between: ride of my life. It's frightening to be swept up & carried away & just be in the moment experiencing whatever comes your way, but it's truly "living." It can also be very painful because we're so guarded & although we see clearly when looking at relationships outside ourselves, we can be blind when it comes to our own. It's a huge risk to let that part of ourselves free, and it also opens us up to pain. But I'm glad I did bc I've been able to experience so much more than when choosing with my head (my 1st marriage of 16 yrs). I'd much rather experience it all, than live safely within the confines of what my head, through analysis, has deemed best.
@@mirriyastia7041 HAHAHA. Yes, I'm sure. But, I was married to one. I'm a certified MBTI practitioner. Been working/consulting in the field since the 1990's. Thanks for the laugh. 😊
as an infj i'm afraid of not knowing what my partner may be thinking and missing something in their behaviour which could be an important clue. if i can understand my partner's behaviour and thoughts and kinda know what they may be thinking i feel at peace. and i have kinda freaked out in the past when i felt like i couldn't and i didn't know how to, so i know it's a big one for me. not seeing a future with the person can make me feel helpless and like giving up though.
I'm an INFJ but I didn't relate much to what he brought, what you're saying here sounds more like it. Being unable to read the other person is so much more terrifying to me, I feel terribly anxious if the communication is weak and I can't know if they're annoyed with something, I they're thankful and happy, if something I said and done is relevant or not. Being blind in this context is horrible to me currently, I get paralysed and make things worse by avoiding bringing these stuff up, as if thinking about all that stuff is being too picky. I need some transparency.
None of these can be considered fears, perhaps you should have thought a bit more realistically. After all relationships go way above set personality type compatibilitiee and characteristics. These can be considered at max discomforts or hindrances. Fears won't vary that much in relationships according to personality types, its simple love, trust, being together. Are the only factors (may be 2-3 more) that actually affect relationships. Fears will be not getting these things enough.
Found it quite accurate. As an ENTP, i'm happy to share my life with an ENFP who is able to surprise me even after years and we also constantly learn from each other, so my Ne is fully satisfied ! (not my Si though xD )
What I fear the most in relations is intellectual disappointment, superficial moral standards and unmovable limits of roles. That's what I call 'living in a simulation'. Once found out the algorithm of this simulation is based on bias, I close silently the door and go. Even when this friendship lasted for decades. It's about novelty and progression not lazy minds who follow majority's opinions trying to teach or indoctrinate me with their traditional elusions. ENTP
wait hold up- you're telling me there are people that'd say NO to new ideas????????? I came with no fear and left with one 😭😭-confused ENFP I literally imagine my future husband to support my every art or business idea, I've never imagined the possibility of them saying "No." to it
As an INTJ, I identify with INFJ, ISTP, INFP and INTP more than INTJ fear. Definitely understand the "when INTJ has his life organized we can indulge or entertain frivolous sexual persuits or short term relationships - but if not not so much" bit though. I feel like if my partner needs a lot of external affirmation or feminine/feeling emotional support... I can't really provide it and won't even bother trying... I won't compromise who I am, but I can adapt somewhat to avoid conflict... if that's not good enough then I got nothing and I'm out...
Very true for INTJ. I tried a relationship that was all head and no heart and I couldn’t go through with it. ENFPs make me heart flutter but so many of them are like a parade of red flags. It’s hard to satisfy both.
INTP. Can affirm. Figure out whatever your pattern is that you want to get a hold of me. Every Friday 5-7pm? No problem. Every morning 8am-9am? You got it. Every three days around noon? No problem. But this overarching theme of me always bring available to you is not going to work. Have a routine and I'll love you. Its love through boundaries.
And from the garden of Eden grew "something". What's better than this, she said. It must be worth the try and from that moment on God was SMITTEN for he'd never known "worth it" from the perspective of "beyond love".
Are there other INTPs, who while desiring a balance of space, still love being around people they love a lot? I do need more time to myself then the rest of my family. Sometimes it throws off my ENFJ sister, but I like spending time even while doing different things with people I love. I am still fiercely loyal and a romantic when it comes to those kinds of relationships. Most INTPs don’t seem to want relationships, though? Am I odd for wanting that?
Ugh yeah. If someone doesn’t just get that, explaining it is futile. Go on taking it personally then… actually… if they do take me wanting my space as a personal matter… it is personal bc the more I’ll avoid them lol
@@nina3538 what makes it hard sometimes is with my kids...you'd think they'd get me by now. Even when I spell it out I feel like they don't believe me or even worse get mad at me for being that way.
As an INTJ, who basically told her best friends that they have the right to beat me with a pan if I will get in a relationship with a psycho, cause I am afraid of the choices my passionate side can sometimes make, I completely agree.
As an INTJ My biggest challenge in any type of relationship is the heart vs head one And I always end up sacrificing the heart in the process Now I have this burnt-out feeling when it comes to love
As a fellow INTJ, I confirm that if you choose feelings (heart) - you will lose even more. I was there. I strongly recommend my INTJs bros to always choose head and ratio, always keep in mind their aims and personal values. No relationship deserves succumbing.
As ISTP my personal methodology is give time to the heart, took me awhile to realize how fulfilling it can be, but never let the head go (heh). When shit hits the fan the heart is a luxury and the head is the solution.
@@mirriyastia7041 Yup. When I was at high school I always told myself that theres time for ppl whenever u want but when u pass high school some opportunities will never happen. Never was I so correct. Now that I have finally gotten into medschool, I now see theres no need for a relationship when it blocks me from achieving the things I want.
When I don't see the relationship going anywhere anymore, my instinct is to simply cut it off, and I've done as such many times in the past. I never really understood why people hated ghosting and being cut off, but this really helps me. It might be the path of least conflict and resistance, and it might not be necessary to me once it's clear to me that the purpose is gone, but fading away might be misinterpreted as a sign that I didn't care for all the efforts people put into the relationship.
INTP female but relate to ISTP... I don't wanna put on a 'face', I just wanna be myself even miserable, but as couple you have to think like a team and think of each others feelings and make sure other person doesn't suffer bc of your moody self. I also don't feel like telling other person what do to, why, how or even worse, repeating myself. I don't like explaining myself and my own motivations - I just do things (this and that way), ok? (I guess my S is probably bigger than of avg INTP) . And ofc, I relate to INTP segment but not only do I need my own space, I just need to able to say this and go my own way without hurting anybody's feelings, without my partner expecting to catering to him/prioritize him but I guess accepting his own position? I always gonna prioritize myself. (And I don't mind partner prioritizing self either... But is this sufficient in the end for a romantic relationship?).
I relate as an INTJ. There is this struggle between being lenient and being so strict, its hard to find a middle ground. Being so strict with standards that it suppresses our own desires and comfort and being lenient that when we analyze the situation we end up regretting the choice. And when this happens, we easily end the relationship. The struggle of finding balance between head and heart is because of our Te and Fi.
Another thing- which requires much less writing- is that I have realized that my favorite people in life- while some were quite emotional in the moment- were people who could handle the harder bits of life with some degree of rational thought AND who did not unnecessarily let their current emotions affect their relationships. I really appreciate that. I think often of this woman trying to talk me out of having a crush on a guy by telling me why no woman wants to have sex with a taller man because you end up with your face stuck in their chest and can't look them in the eye. To which I replied- because I liked a taller man at the moment and was thinking of him: "Good! Then I won't have to see his stupid face when I'm mad at him." and she freaked out at my making obscene jests and then lying to her by insisting they were no such thing. She said, "You can't have sex with your husband if you're mad at him!" and I said, "Why? Why am I being punished because he's being a jerk?" And, she never spoke to me again. Good. She was obviously insane. There is no reason not to have sex just because someone hasn't fixed the sink yet. In fact, it's a pretty good reason to order pizza on their bank card and have sex and refuse to do the dishes, and keep doing that- but maybe with different food- every night until they realize they won't be able to afford gas to go to work unless they fix the sink. I think. Yes. That was less writing. Do a character count if you don't believe me.
You hit INTP directly, square and center! As an INTP, I'm glad this topic is finally being discussed in a way that doesn't make it seem like something is wrong with us or we just need to "desensitize" and "come out of our shell." We DO need space and to not have our territory invaded or else it means *war* (Speaking from personal reference here *ehem*)
I’m an ENTP who wonders if I may be INTP because I need so much personal space and time. I can imagine how it is for my INTP cousins! Communication with other types can be key in maintaining time and space for personal interests, autonomy feeling and overall sanity as well as not hurting the other parties!
I like how INTJ and ISTJ variants are again both suit me well. Again shouting out for INTJ/ISTJ difference video) Concerning INTJ's heart and head conflict - each time INTJ chooses heart, INTJ loses. Being rational, analitical and aloof from emotions is INTJean adaptation to a social environment; INTJ led by one's feelings and emotions is weak, always loses, always being fooled and deceived. That's the reason why we INTJs aren't made for relationship, cause relationship requires trust, and an INTJ learns from the very childhood, that if you trust - you lose. I mean I know it's not always the case, but somehow INTJs are one of the easiest targets for those who deceives and scams people, as we usually lack social intellect. So, better to stay safe.
Refraining from relationships isn't rational nor beneficial on the long run. You're just deceiving yourself with this pitty talk. Be rational enough to choose wisely and that's it. Don't always blame other people, your own shortcomings are to blame many times. -INFJ
I’m an INTJ and I have never learned that if you trust, you lose. I think you were just surrounded by bad people… a relationship with good people will always be better than no relationship at all.
@@signalfire15 intj here, I think it takes a great deal of wisdom and positive outlook to be able to trust and have the attitude "if it is misplaced then so be it, that's life, we will run into all types of people."(obviously it is based on that fact that the decision to "trust" is thought through and informed) I used to hold the belief that I should always be 100% logical and disregard my emotions but I slowly learned that I was trying so hard to control things that were out of my control and wasting my energy. I was trying so hard not to get hurt that I forgot how to live. I'm At this point I don't think it is related to personality types anymore, it is just a healthy outlook on life regardless of personality type. My basic principle is "be rational" but make sure the rationality is not stemming from a place of fear, therefore making it a false sense of "rationality".
It's been years since I try to find out whether I'm an INFJ or an INTJ, that right now I would pay anyone who can give me an objective analysis based on writings, blogs and a lot of things that I would share with them. fl3640, I refrained from relationships my entire life, but I did fell in love twice. Broken past, cPTSD, and here I am at 34 years old without even having my first kiss yet lol just because: 1. I don't go out 2. I hate making the first move when I'm thinking that I'm doing something evil like I should wait for my time, and I really don't want to take advantage of anyone. 3. With my past from the last 7 years, I can't get a single person who can understand and respect my views, not even among "friends" or family, therefore I prefer to be that loner because if you cannot respect me, then I don't want anything to do with you. Simple as that. P.S. I am autistic, and if I am an INTJ, then how do you explain that I was empathetic from the age of 3 years old since both autistic ppl and INTJs "should" be strangers to empathy? Oh God. This world has some stupid beliefs. Not to mention that everyone knows that autistic people are prime targets to narcissists, and yes, I have attracted my entire life narcissists, people that I NEEDED TO HEAL which defines again one of the fallacies that this world has. Stupid world.
I could've watched this without knowing my typing and still known that the ENTP was spot on. I'm dating an ISTJ right now, and honestly my biggest fear is being asked if this is a "real" relationship. I'd rather date for 5 years, because the fear of boredom and the mundane is just too great. I guess that we both don't want to settle, and if they're okay with not tying each other down and being undefined (but secretly knowing the truth about our relationship) forever, then I'm good with that. I'd rather be single on paper and happy in practise, than the other way around.
INTJ fears include being blamed in the relationship for something that others didn't talk to them about or adequately discuss before hopping on the "I'm right" train🤮🧐
@@mirriyastia7041 nah, that's too similar to too many thinking types - I mean I could always introduce myself that way but that would be too much fun for Fe-doms
Bahahaha "one of the best ways to keep an ENTP in a relationship is to not let them know that they're in one". Oh my gosh, I had to pause the video to stop laughing before contuing
The INTP one definitely rings true to how I used to think about (and fear) relationships, but nowadays I identify a lot more with the ENTP's fear. - INTP
As an entp, this makes me wonder if im dating my crush or not. I mean it might look like were dating but were not actually dating. But what does dating mean anyways...
