172. What makes the dumper insecure? 

When you realise your worth.. their game is up...

4 months of no contact, I lost 35 lbs, gained muscle, quit my job, started 2 companies and half way finished with my first album. Thank you so much Rory and all of you for the amazing words of power. Much Love 💯

Don’t take them back... if they want to walk out of your life, “let them go”

That last part really hit me. That they don't feel the call for self-improvement since they were the one who ended it, but you feel the call. And you become the more improved, amazing person because of it, while they stay the same. 😊

I like this one. Sort of puts the 'dumper' in their place because they took the cowards' way out instead of trying to work it out like adults. :)

This is why Dumpees upgrade and never really look back. Why? We grow, we change we did the work. They didnt...they chose a rebound etc while we upgraded for better. When they come back we dont want them.

Rory, your words are golden. I was working on myself in the beginning for my ex to come back. With time I’ve come to realize that it really isn’t for her but this is for me. And honestly I’m so happy with myself and my recent achievements that it doesn’t matter anymore that I have my ex in my life or not. Life is so much better when you can love yourself, I found my self back again!

over three months in, i've lost 60lbs, reading books (which i've never done), on an awesome diet, getting better sleep and feeling way more confident then ever.... so many things have changed...

11 months into my breakup. I am doing 90% better. I even posted on my FB cover page a quote I came up with, "In my pursuit to find someone to love, I found out who I am and learned how to love myself, instead."

I needed this!! He left me at my most crucial time of my life. I’m trying to get it together to do better and not give him the satisfaction of breaking up with me.

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one going though a heartbreak at the moment. It sucks knowing things could’ve been different if I weren’t so narrow minded.

After so many years of existence, consuming all this self help stuff and trying, I'm finally not having to try and just be and I "get it". I am getting the self-soothing, the self-loving, and it feels amazing. Yoga, meditation, understanding my attachment theory and taking CBT workshops to understand myself have helped tremendously

When you realise your worth, it's checkmate. 🍒

"learning to be alone is a superpower." ❤️

I dont want my ex to come back because she is insecure, afraid to be alone or even because she misses me. Im gonna meet up with her next week and if she is gonna straight up wanna get together again, its a big no from me. You see I want her to see the change Ive made, I want her to fall back in love with me and I want her to also realize her part in the break up and improve herself. I still love her and it would break my heart if I had to tell her it isnt a good idea to get back together. But I need a new relationship build on trust and mutual understanding. Not on fear and insecurities. I actually want to go through the process rather then having her throw herself back at me. There were issues, Im ready to take responsibility for my part and solve the things that I did wrong. Im working on that the past 4 months. I only expect her to do the same and if she really wants to get back together she better be prepared to put in the effort and fight for me, just as I did for her, or better said, for myself. I dont need a relationship, but I would like to have one, with her, if we can work things out. I expect that she wont be capable of understanding this. I expect that we dont get back together. But Im willing to give it another shot, a second chance for us, if not at least to get some closure maybe. I’ll see next week what she has to say for herself.

when you feel like you lost something, this thing has more value for you than before. Let's work on ourselves, they will realize what they lost :)

I never commented on a youtube video, this is my 1st time. I feel compelled to express my gratitude. Thank you for making the choice the choice to care. I have seen approximately 10 videos and they're all what i needed but I could use a one on one. If you could manage to make the time for me it would mean a lot more to me. I rather not broadcast my details on the web. I wish everyone watching and making these videos happy holidays

Rory you’ve help me through my trails and tribulations on getting my self worth back I’m just stoping by to say thank you 🙏🏽 your the best

We the people truly appreciate the help and support you consistently provide us with.

The arguments in this video help me to be more sure of what I am doing as of improving myself and making better changes. I have thought and learned a lot about myself and the relationship after the breakup, and these are positive aspects as they help me to be wiser and hopefully will make better choices as to not hurt myself & others in the future. Life is not always easy and yet we could still be strong and move forward when misfortune happens. I think that's the beauty of life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and being sincere in helping your audience instead of giving the "tricks" to get your ex back as they basically don't work.

It’s been over a year of no contact. But it was the best thing I ever done

I needed to hear this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and good luck to all

Thanks for your wisdom. I left my social media on public and noticed they are peeping in. 🤔 So self improvement for your self feels better than for someone else

Fabulous, Rory! I hope to have another coaching soon.

This video auto played while I'm playing video games. I kinda miss her and the video came out perfectly right in time. Thanks!

One thing for you guys.Do you wanna be with a person who changes you for another in matter of days weeks?I mean I suffered from my break-up too,but let me tell you it's better now than later.Every one has somebody in this world's we are almost 7 billion.You guys suffer because you loved them a lot and it's a loss for you.If the would love you the same way as you did they would never left.Remember every relationship is a lesson learn from your mistakes and be a better person.And don't be sad someone is waiting for you .I wish everyone a good life,lots of love,and happiness.

I was dumped at Xmas. My ex helped me regain my health and confidence. Helped me with my relationship with my kids. Supported me mentally and emotionally and then when I regained my life and over all well being..... Fitness, joined a new band, better outlook..... She dumped me. All the hard work and she didn't stick around to see the reinvented, rebooted, me.

Keep it up everybody, this is good, helpful stuff !

Rory- thank you again! I just got a clean PET scan for cancer so I’m BETTER than ever! Good luck with the book! (I’m writing one myself).

You keep giving us gold Rory 👍🏻

Rory, keep doing what your doing man,...I'm over my ex,..been over a year....but your video are still worth a listen,... buying the book ...

Bro.. I went thru a situation last year and your videos helped me grow.. People it's TRUE work on your self and dont fears the needle.. Lov err yourself

I like the needle comparison. We build it up in our head as this horrible thing that hurts, when in reality being alone is good for you and allows you to find yourself.

Glad I saw this. I was dumped a month ago. So far I've lost 40lbs nearing my 1st goal of 50lbs. I've started up my pickle business (dont ask, just loving doing it) succeeding in my job but, looking to go into radiology. And I've deleted Facebook because I was using it for validation (been off for facebook 2 weeks now and i feel peaceful and less stressed in my life). It was a revenge thing the first couple of weeks but, I just feel good about me now and doing things for me!

Can't wait for the book! I'll buy it, even if just for showing you the appreciation and support! But i know it will be a bomb read!

After almost 6 months of no contact my ex started liking my friend’s picture where I was in on social media. He tagged me few weeks ago on Instagram. Prior this happened I already blocked him from everywhere. Seeing his post were not helping me moving on. Feel much better and I’m dating someone new with a lot of potential. I’m so excited about what’s going happen.

Grow well my friends 💯 listen to Rory he knows what he’s talking about.

Weird.. the NEEDLE is what destroyed our relationship... One month clean today.

Great video rory loving it and thank you again from us all in the UK

I'm gonna get coaching from you soon. Can't wait

Always helpful Rory! I really want to read your book!

Great video once again!!! Keep it up!! 🙌🏻✨😁 Thank U for sharing~

So great! Thanks Rory!

Can’t wait for the book. Rory... I have a topic I think many of us re-attracting someone or even in a relationship have which is “when they back away... “ if you could touch on this subject that would be great. Seems my girl is always at battle with what she wants with me and it drives me bonkers. Thanks 🙏🏻

Great and lovely advices. Thanks 🙏🏻

Wow that needle example 😮 really opened my eyes. 😍👍

Totally going to buy your book!

One of the best videos I’ve ever had!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Roy. Great one.

Love you brother! Moving on! TY!

Thank you for this video. God bless you.

That was awesome. Great video

Love this topic Rory!!! To all 'Dumpers', careful what you wish for! :)

Thanks for the new video, Rory!

This guy amazing i love the way you talk keep the good work mate

I didn't expect to meet such an amazing woman so soon after my ex broke up with me. I don't want my ex back but I'm not over it yet. This makes me hesitant about getting involved with this new person. Funny thing is by me being hesitant it's making this new woman pursue me that much more!

Hi! I am working on my physical aspect and your video reminds me that chocolate bars are not worth eating when I have so much to gain... namely achieving my goal.

So powerful,Thank you very much.♥️

Honestly very well said Rory, i shall admit though, i have been watching your content for two days, and it made me feel better, however ( and i realize that this is normal ), i have moments of sadness panic at least twice a day, and i switch from being normal to that narrow dark room surrounding me, i know i can do it, but man these breakups are the worst thing i have experienced yet. You know how painful, while you were honest and loving and caring and she goes back to her old boyfriend that she knew for 11 years, while you had only 4 months with her, she came back to him because she showed him my messages, so she made him jealous and he finally told her his feelings, and she said yes, and she told me that this is all she was wanting for a long time, and you know the rest, can we be friends as it will hurt me if we are not...blablabla, i showed no emotions and told her good luck with him even before i watched these videos, i stayed polite and all ( if that tell you a little about me), Rory, it really sucks bro when you are so nice and people take advantage of you, she knew i was good looking and career advanced then him, she used this opportunity to get him back, that is what hurt me the most, not the fact that we broke up. Thanks for your videos bro, they are helping me a lot. ( people are mean man )

Thank you rory Your videos helped me a lot during this pandemic .

Pick of the day.....I would like to have a relationship....But I don't need it... thank u Rory......👍

My ex is in a rebound right after breaking up with me…and yet when I made it known on social media that my career is progressing and I’m taking an interesting in investments for passive income, they are now getting friends to ask about me and are avoiding social media more now Interesting 👊🏻

Grow well my friends!

I Love being alone, I like myself and Im interesting... lots fun things to do... dumper? What? Why you would put yourself in a situation like that, is Crazy.... Never care more than they do... simple!

Proud of how far I’ve come. I was definitely in a great place when I started my relationship (happy being single) and I’ve been secure in myself and still working on myself during my relationship. My ex couldn’t step up to the plate and left for… whatever reason they justified to themselves. 45 days in and I’ve come so far with my healing because of the resilient person I am, and tonight I made a nice big juicy post about the people who stay in my life, making sure to highlight all the things I’ve been out doing and thriving, so there is the added bonus my ex might see it and be slapping themselves. Whatever, I’m feeling good about myself and my ability to form close bonds and all of my progress and it deserves to be celebrated ❤️

Im looking forward to purchasing ur book. U are helping me keep my head together, one day at a time. Thank you ❤

love the title of your book.

I'm keeping your videos as a podcast list. I got alot to catch up on. I'm in the phase of month 4 since the breakup. He contacted me twice already. I dont know what to do so I'm ignoring him. The basic how are you texts. I worked on myself so much & realized so many things after the breakup. Love him but....I'm scard as hell.. I really dont wanna start over. The pain. I been super distant. He wanted the breakup so I gave it to him.

thanks Rory you are being very helpful

Love yourself more, always remember that.

This hit home🙏😊❤️

Trust me, i just did all your advice and it gave me more confident instead of thinking when my ex will contact me back. I feel that i no longer need her. If she come back then we will give a shot but if don't then i am still happy because of my progress. 😊

Rory 100% on the money Ive out grown my ex ... she still holds a place in my heart as all ex's do .... but now it makes me smile ..... self improvement is key to attracting high value people into your life. Im currently dating a published Model and she is crazy about me ... flying me to her photo shoots and i refer to video 167 When we love YOURSELVES the beauty happens Thank you

Cool vid Rory,I dont have a kindle.lol! Just a smart phone. Just remember the dampers aren't perfect either,just a thought. 😁🎸

Great Rory

The best video I have seen today ,last week my ex (the wicked witch of the north ) came back to check on me I thought she wanted to come back 2 my arms she acted so nice and lovely 5 days later she blocked me and ignored me again now I know y 😂😂😂😂

You did the personal work, you did the hard thing and changed for the beter, they found a rebound becuse they think its a race to get a new partner and to soth the pain of you not being there and dident change. Dont make the same mistake, show them that you are ok with being alone, becuse being alone and being lonely are two completly diffrent thing. You love yourself and dont need aproval or validation from someone ells. And when they realise that you did the right thing and they took the easy way out, they will se the true value you hade and the strenght to you have to make that change.

what are you more afraid of? being alone or the fear of being alone? im have bpd and this makes me feel so happy to hear. i love myself too much and i love being by myself!!! i just realize that im just scared to be alone forever

Hi Rory! You're really great! I imagine you as my real personal friend that i share a bucket of beer with. Can you make a video about being dumped twice by the same ex? Or something related to that. That will help my situation and probably others', too. Thanks a lot!

We all need this channel If your ex came back today would you take them back ?

Im on here getting more knowledge

Your " Until next time" sounds like Joey's " how u doing " from F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I stop reaching out to my ex-boyfriend when I know he starts a new relationship. I decided to move on my life live a better. I'm wondering why he still checks my Instagram almost every day but I stop post anything I was telling myself if he misses he will reach out to me if he didn't mean he was happy with his new relationship so I need to live well as compared to last time

i did sonething stupid i begged my ex for another chance i was blowing up his phone now he ignores my calls probably blocked me ....im so sad i guess i have no chouce but to go no contact now....i want him back ...i was being needy.. i guess ive ruined my chances. ....

Been broken up and in NC for a month. I would like a new relationship and am working on myself. She has my old laptop and a few other things of mine I'd like back but am not sure how to handle it. Help?

Any best suggestion to self improve quickly by yourself with self confidance self love and self reliance? Also better comunication skills

You’re the best

What if the person who your ex goes back to is an old ex that still has feelings for her?

Day 2 of no contact hell. I’ll be booking a coaching soon because there’s a strong possibility this ex isn’t worth getting back.....

Hi Rory! My ex moved like 3 houses away from me. Why does he avoid driving in front of my house?? And why he would never make eye contact when we talk?? We have kids in common and we are kind to each other like there isn’t any drama after our separation.

I feel like I fucked up here because I accidentally let on how I was hurt and I also tried to kind of be friends with him a month after starting no contAct but then I’m back doing it again after talking to him at that point for maybe three weeks. Not every single day. It’s been a month since we talked now. I told him I’m not talking to him because it hurts. Wondering if I should just send him the message that I’m not going to be his friend and if he regrets it he can talk to me. Don’t know if that would just interrupt the no contact.

I get it that they likely prepare theirself for the breakup and I agree our relationship had its ups and downs but 2.5 years and NC for a month after 3 apart... No way she can be okay with this ...

Hi Rory, I no longer yearn for my ex anymore, neither do I wanna contact them. Now, the tables have turned. They are always the one who initiates contact. I have realised my worth and I am not waiting around for them anymore. Like you said, I would love to be in a relationship but I DON'T NEED a relationship anymore. But my question is why do I still want to listen to videos about exes, no contacts and moving on etc. I used to play it before bedtime and I feel good listening to your videos and using them like lullabies.

My Ex left by text after a long relationship + hooked up with a work colleague straight away. I won’t talk to him now but he is putting loved up holiday pics all over social media which bothers my kids. I am bothered about how can someone live next to you every day + not say a word then leave the whole family for a new life?

My ex walked out and the next afternoon was on the socials adding girls and blocked me on everything, erased all traces of me, and then messaged a girl he had held onto from before... He isn't gonna come back, is he?

My ex and I talked marriage 2 weeks before and she told me she loved me the day before she dumped me, that was almost 3 months ago. My depression hit so hard I've got scars all over my right arm from knives, idk what to do...I'm in fulltime counseling and on meds to help my depression but nothing is working

Can you please cover the topic of what the dumpee should do if the ex has blocked her from everywhere and only occasionally unblocks her to text her harsh texts and then blocks again during nc? Also, he has been dating someone he was interested in from a long time. So is it him trying to get a reaction or did he actually move on in less than two months?

My ex told me he didn't need to "change" (evolve) so yeah ... Nothing to learn here for him!

I don't stay connected with my exes on social media. Am I the only one?

I’m still afraid of the needle 5 months later