Hey Rory, huge fan of the channel. My ex broke it off after 3 years together. I was getting the vibe that she was thinking about it so I went on RU-vid and learned about no contact and found your channel. When she broke up with me, I showed no emotion, and told her what you tell us to say verbatim. Fast forward 3 months of no contact: I have ripped abs for the first time in my life, I have a new job that pays double what my old did, I’ve been meeting a lot of new girls, AND yesterday my ex reached out after I thought she never would. The funny thing is, I’m in such a good place now I didn’t even want to answer her. For all you guys out there: focus on yourself and good things will come. I have a quote on my wall that says “get 1% better everyday” and that’s what I will continue to do. No contact is the best thing I could have ever done.
I love your story. I been so heart broken because my ex left me to go back to his toxic ex wife. I felt empty. It's been 6 weeks. Yest he sent me a clip of our favorite song and it sounded like he was in a club but he wanted me to hear our favorite song was playing in the club. I was so upset it was at 1:46 am.. I am inspired by your story and can't wait till I can say I don't want him back anymore
I love that quote! "Get 1% better everyday". When my ex broke up with me the beginning of this year, it was really hard. I have no idea about no contact yet and stuff about breakup since it was my first ever breakup. But I did get better and still continuing to do so!
@@lilbmgfresh , Chin up! It I'll get better! You sound like a great girl. The right guy will come along and see your awesomeness. In the meantime, work on improving yourself. :)
Goldenier it was my first breakup too. We’re both in university and she said she wasn’t in love with me anymore. It’s amazing how time heals you. Looking back it was the best thing that could have happened to me.
I'm an example. Never thought I'd hear from my ex again and sure enough, she reached out. It happens. Question is, are you ready for when she does? Focus on yourself guys
@@JoaoSantos_88 Took about 3 weeks. We train at the same gym however so we see each other very often. I did no contact a week after and tried to be cordial with her. (Toughest thing ever...especially after she started dating someone else in my gym). If you do NC and focus on yourself, you may just find she's not worth it and you're actually better off.
My ex broke up with me the day after my birthday this is the second time she dumped me and its killer pain. Even though thats twice she left me.i still want her back do u think i should take her back if she reaches out.
@@cmajor8084 Like I said, both my ex and I have to see eachother very often. That may play a factor in why she reached out so soon. ALL I can say is focus on you...if it's month four and you're still worried that you won't hear from her. You haven't been focusing on yourself.
SUCCESS STORY: The Love Chat along with Craig Kenneth, Cory Wayne, and the Dating guy helped me through my depression. At first I thought a success story resulted in getting you’re ex back but that’s not always the case. I feel learning to love myself again was my success story. I hit the gym, dated other women, got involved with school activities, and looking at myself now from this point a year ago I can definitely say I’ve made tremendous improvements although I’m not a finished product yet! Thank you Rory for you’re encouraging words of wisdom and keep at it! I can finally say although there’s time I still miss my ex and think about her I don’t NEED her to be happy because I’ve learned to value myself more!
Meekainc thank you dear. At 1st I wanted my ex back but he monkey branched with 2 relationships since our breakup and was bread crumbing me with with both of these women. He lied and and said things like so what when I confronted him About promising new we’ll work things out while in relationships and he said so what! Can you believe that?!! Anyway I’m tired of the pain and just giving up hope because I know he doesn’t love or care about me anymore. I want to learn to value and love myself again and move on/forward with my life. I want to heal and live a happy abundant life :).
My ex reached out and wanted to talk. He saw the changes in me and now he wants to talk About getting back together. It takes time, but I know that this situation Will work out with or without him because I’m already happy on my own now!
1 month after the break up, I have clarity. She is an amazing woman and both parties did mistakes but if you want to evolve stop thinking about what they did wrong and focus on you. What you did wrong? Why you did wrong? How can you chance that? Maybe she comes, maybe she won't. You should find yourselves, look at the mirror and be the person you wanna be! Do not become what they want you to be! Accept the gift of their love was, accept the gift of the break up and love yourselves, become your own partner! You are the only person in the whole world that loves you unconditional!
At first, I could not f***** believe she did not reach out. Nothing. Zip. Then I moved to thinking 'wow she really will never reach out.' Then, she reached out. 11 weeks post-breakup
I thought I would share this with y’all but after 4 months of no contact my ex came back I never thought I would ever hear from her ever again , we have gone out couple times and she admitted to me the she never stop thinking about me . Wow I’m in shock we taking things very slow but like Rory saids just give it time ......
Applying this advice helped me deal with the break up emotionally and mentally. She reached out after exactly 1 month, we will see what happens from here. What is meant to be, will happen. I think everything happens as it is supposed to happen, and whatever happens is an opportunity for growth and experience. She has to rekindle my love for her again if she wants to be with me, but we are also long distance so things are complicated.
Excellent video man... At first no contact is hell, especially if she is with someone else, after 5 months of NC doesn't hurt the same way and acceptance takes place, and we can feel peace. Of course the hope remains but that doesn't stop me to keep growing.. I already speak Spanish and play the guitar hahaha, so for me is gym and spiritual path that's needed. Have a great week ppl... And smile!!!
OMG! THIS WORKS! I've never been coached by Rory but I listened to the videos. My ex and I were brokened up for 2 months. The interesting thing is that we work together on Sundays but I kept the drama out if it. I acted indifferent each time I saw him and never mentioned what happened and I did the no contact with him unless we were working. Long story short last week he knew that I was scheduled to work late. Well how about I get a text after I got home asking me if I got home ok. I had to smile and I waited b4 answering back. The method really does work. I hope this comment helps someone. Thanks for your videos Rory.
Had my ex reach out 4 months after the break-up. Didn't saw it coming. When she reached out her whole demeanor had changed from ice-cold to excited/warm/nice ... told her in an assertive and polite way to fuck off. She promised to leave me alone, that was another 4 months ago. Don't think I'll ever hear from her again, she does have class. I loved her more than any other person in my life, but I certainly meant it. Still love her, probably always will, but it's also a good feeling to be free. Good riddance.
Reached out in a moment of weakness about a month after the break up, thought I’d never hear from my ex after that. Rory advised me to focus on my goals, gave me some great books to read, and focused on myself. A month of NC, she reached out, asked how I was doing. Rory coached me through it and it went very well. She’s hot and cold right now (which would be a great video imo), but she reached out when I stopped worrying about her, focused on number one. I’ve done two Skype sessions, third tomorrow, and every piece of advice, every talk helps me progress on every level. Watch the videos, get a session, your future self will thank you.
The other variables; This guy might have anxiety attachment style and insecurities so eventually he starts to show the signs. What about your ex? Does she need a lot of closeness or is distance ok for her? Maybe the guy wants to have his freedom or he might be hooking up meanwhile your ex is not around. How often they can meet? etc... At the long run it will most likely fail. If they decide to move together it might be that the chemistry is not working at all or it might be that the distace has created very strong bond between them. Believe me It's very difficult place to be (I'm in the same boat). But as always, is she coming back - It's like flipping the coin + other variables added. All you can do is focus on yourself and use the anxiety as a drivig force to better you and get ready for the day she contacts or you might meet even better girl. Just focus on what you want, not what you fear.
"Success story". I actual have many instances in my life, but I'll illustrate one for the comment section. I was 22 (37 now) and she cheated on me. I left her in the dust, and she reached out a few times over the years. When I was 29 she reached out again but was much more obvious about her interest in me. She drove from Texas to Nebraska to see me, we spent a weekend together fooling around and when she went back to Texas she was texting me about where we should move. That was a but much for me so I cut it off. Just saying, they almost always reach back out.
2 for 2 for my ex reaching out (after about 1-2 months in no contact). Its usually random to test the waters. For me it was work questions but I know she could have asked other people not the mention she was a little flirty. It does not mean they want to get back together so its important to stay calm and collected.
Mine reached out after 6 months but I don't her back right now. Im just laying back and watching actions. Im very cautious and discovered I have become emotionally detached and I want to keep it that way until I know its safe to be vulnerable again and she has earned my the revealing of my feelings. We're having our first meet uo after 3 weeks of her inital reach out and I don't feel excited. I still love her but the intensity of my love has diminished
Thank you Coach.... my proud and somewhat arrogant boyfriend reached out after almost 2months of NO CONTACT. I honestly never thought he would. He sounded nice and warm. I was brief, calm and cordial. I hope there's still a chance for us.. but I'm done being the selfless almost needy partner. Thanks for the coaching from you and a few other online coaches, it's helped strengthen my resolve to re-evaluate my worth and go No Contact.
I stayed calm and cool during the breakup. But 1 week later I panicked and begged for another shot in a few years. I realized she was being really cold with me so I started the no contact again. I'm really improving and being more successful, hopefully that one mistake didn't ruin it for me.
Listen fellas, gals, what this dude is saying is true. I've never seen this dude's video but i garantee you your ex will reach out again if they see you are doing better. Every ex I've had has always ended up reaching out again after a while a good while. With me i always ended up not being intrested the second time. You will be okay do no worry about them keep doing you and become better no matter what.
233 days NC... she has reached out in that time period.. twice !!!! i tried to engage her and asked to get together... She decline both times.... Im not sure if she will reach out again...I'm confused why she would reach out and then rebuff getting together... Im almost at the point that I dont give a damn anymore. Rory thanks for the help my friend. To the newly broken: day 233 is better than day 10, so be strong!!
@matrixband12 You said you are confused why she would reach out and then rebuff "I am almost at the point that I don't give a damn anymore." That's why. You answered your own confusion my brother. I am 100% sure you don't give not a single damn today. :) Bless u
100% true on the reaching out. My ex reached out after telling me she never wanted to speak to me again… 6 times I think? They’ll reach out but make sure you do the work on yourself. So critical.
Thanks bro. I've been working on my own stuff this past two/3 weeks cause before i was not feeling nothing but nostalgia and sadness. Now it feels good i feel free. Sometimes we need to end something in order to worry more about the only person we need to care about : ourselves
i had a 6 year relationship and the breakup went pretty bad with me getting mad and lashing out at her then out crap. i kept on texting her good morning everyday for 5 months. then, after that, i got some respect for myself and did not contact her thinking that she already has another man. on month 8, she called me asking me to come with her for processing of documents. then i was thinking maybe she'll introduce me to her new boyfriend. but when i saw her, she was alone. when she saw me and i had been hitting up the gym. she cried and begged for us to be together again. on which i gave her another chance.
found this chanel to late, she contacted me multiple times and i screwed up big time and even insulted her and even afterwards she asked me if we could get a coffee soon, so yeah they always come back :D
Rory i listened to u a lot, i gain a lot of knowledge wth overstandin thank u. He departed for me we been together eight years, in a split he had a low honig fruit, he keep calling me saying how much he missed my company and tell me all about his low honig fruit and his families I just listened but I don't care about him. ' Random low honig fruit why I never call are come by only dogs goes were they're not Invited so no bones are provided. Respect Rory..
I did also I'm in no contact 7 months but I doubt I will ever here from him because he is the one who messed up knowing I was good to him n dumped me did a rebound so in my part he will never here from me again n I have a feeling he won't reach other either for his pride n all
Its been over a year for me. No contact at all. But,she was a Narcissist. If your ex was one of these people. None of this really matters. And you dont want them back! Trust me on this.... Thanks.
Last time I saw my ex in August , she put on 28lbs! Curious what she’s up too now - when she was with me, she was more fit because I am. Thinking the breakup was a lot more rough on her than she’s let on. Good!!
I haven’t done any emails or calls with any of these “helper” channels, but in my experience they are right that if you go through no contact and work on YOURSELF, your ex will pop up in the most unexpected way. For a while I was hoping to hear something from her but over time it ended up not mattering to me, then she messaged me out of the blue, and to my surprise I felt nothing. Obviously I still want to get back together with her but I am a lot less inclined to try, because I know that I can do better.
Its been 7 months no contact for me we was 2 years together he did a rebound so I don't think he will reach out especially with his pride n he knows he messed up n dumped me but no lie I wish he did
Milagros Rodriguez sometimes no contact means you contact them yourself eventually. Find videos about that. That’s if you’re actually ready. No contact is to help you heal and get yourself together. So you can have your own life and logic back but if your mindset isn’t there yet then don’t contact them.
@@Girlsholicxo I contacted him one text on Jan he didn't reply I waited than on Feb again same thing so I won't reach out no more I didn't do wrong he did n I still tried n nothing I wish he reaches out but that's wishful thinking because I know it will never happen one he makes up his mind hard for him to change it plus he knows he is guilty in what he did he just switch on me n I never expected from him at all
@@clara7920 Yes its been 11 months now no contact strong I'm feeling better than before at times it sneaks up on me but I started a new job not long ago n OMG that keeps me so busy working n home stuff to I think about him from time to time but these days a little more than usual I guess since Tomorrow its his birthday n he was in my dreams last night so I woke up with all those feelings but I went to work n felt better yes the relationship was good he had insecurities from his pass he said I treated him like nobody did he felt like a king he just didn't expect me to be the woman I was we grew up together so at times he looked at me like that little girl he grew up with but he is only 3 years older than me I lived an hour n a half away so him with insercurity I guess it grew more n he messed it up that hurted me from my part I won't ever reach out he knows that I'm not in his life was his decision work truly helps .
3 года назад
Yes, my ex was stubborn af but still reached out. Funnily enough at that moment I had already moved on
I already responded so emotionally. I got triggered by a sense of abandonment. I lashed out at him and pointed out all things that he was not doing to make the relationship work, and then I asked for a final conversation where I was much more receptive, then I also wrote him letters of reflection and goodbye. He responded to the letter still blaming me for everything, then I wrote him a monologue about how this is a good opportunity for him to look at a conversation not just to confirm his biases but also to see if there is any truth to what I said. I pushed him away further and further with each of these actions post breakup. It's now been 3 weeks, and I'm moving on because I've seen how cold he can be and I am convinced that there's no way for reconciliation because I fucked up.
Just past 3 months of NC. In that time i have been running, hanging with friends more and on the verge of getting a high paying job. The train won't stop just because someone gets off. If she wants back on, she needs to convince me to let her in, big time.
I'd like to add my story as well. I was with my ex for 7 years and we were engaged at some point. We went on a "break" after some we had some troubles and that's when I also started looking up videos of no contact. After a month she send me a breakup text (!!!) and I told her what you said here "I understand, I wanted to do couples counseling" etc. And after that just mentioned a bit of exchange of stuff and then just cut all contact. 1 month later she reached out asking how I am doing. No contact works! I did work on myself in that time, exercise, therapy, meditation, start my own business. But getting the text was still very intense! It's hard but it's possible! It's like quitting cigarettes, except the cigarettes are alive and can talk to you!
Lucky me my ex broke up with while i was building a business, just focused on work and building my business, it didn't even take long for her to reach out
I saw my ex yesterday at senior breakfast and approached to say hi and had a little convo. She then left and came across with one of our teachers and asked me if I was okay which my response was I'm doing good thank you. She then told me that my ex talked to her and told her about is breaking up. She told me that my ex misses me and that she was hoping to see me yesterday. And I was just like damn...I felt happy but then sadness came like a wave. My ex also told my teacher that she has been asked out many times but said that she is not interested and that she is not talking to anyone. She said that the look on her face told her everything. But I'm not falling for that, I'm moving on and improving my self, I know she'll reach out one day but for now it's all about working on myself. Stay in N.C guys! I wasn't expecting this. Btw the break up was 3 weeks ago and she already misses me?! Stay strong and keep working hard :)
Rory... thank you again for this video! Really appreciate the way you lay things out so easily.and honestly. It all makes sense when I hear your logic...thanks again.
Hows getting your ex back a good thing? Im trying to understand these get back your ex videos. I dont recommend it personally. People who show a poor sense of judgement to make the decision to leave and abandon you should in my opinion stay away. It takes the right person to value you consistently and to stick around no matter what. Life will drive you closer and not apart. You shouldnt have to improve or prove yourself to anyone. Please move on and be happy and hope they have done the same!
@@johnbingaman3645 I totally understand, been there! We're living in tough times. People are very deceiving and only think of satisfying their needs. Take it as a lesson to assess a girls character better the next time around. As woman I can tell you if she's quick to sleep with you thats a redflag! Alot of women use their bodies to manipulate and seduce men to get what they want. Take things very slowly and sooner or later youll see who she really is. People always show who they are but since theres a trend to get sexually or emotionally involved so quickly you cant see their faults.
I'd say it really depends on circumstances, how was the relationship, why did you break up, how have you and your ex changed since then? I agree getting back with your ex isn't always the best idea, but it shouldn't always be strictly excluded too. My parents are a prime example. They met as teenagers, were madly in love, but had to separate for collegue and wanted to enjoy their youths, so they broke up. Years later they met in their mid 20s again by chance and got back together. They've been happily married for over 30 years now and raised 3 children. It can work. In the end, it's up to you to decide if you take an ex back or not. There are many reasons not to, I agree on that. Some relationships just aren't meant to be, especially if there were some red flags like abuse or narcism involved. Or if you simply are no longer interested. With that being said, just like you aren't perfect, neither is your ex, they may fuck up and/or missjudge things and come to regret it. If you had a good relationship, you're still interested and willing to forgive your ex, and they're sincierly sorry and willing to commit this time, it can be worth to give it another shot. Just my 2 cents.
I completely agree with you. I dumped my ex because I suspected he was cheating on me and after giving it some thought, I decided to give it a second chance . But he didn't want to go back. So the reason underneath it all was distrust and I completely adore him, but I'm not sure I want him back . It was initially his bad behavior that set us apart and still he abandoned me.
@@cynthia5102 totally where I am right now! As my bf grew more and more distant towards me, I sensed there must something going on. At first, I did the mistake to try to make him committing but it didn't help of course. So I mirrored his behavior but it didn't help either. Another mistake I made was confronting him and demanding answers. But he stuck to the lies. 2 weeks ago he then confessed that he had lost his feelings for me and asked for a break to gather his thoughts and get his life back together. I did tell him that I'd prefer him to end the relationship right away, if that was his intention all along but he didn't want to. He clearly wants to keep me as an option. Neither did he mention the true reasons why he felt like that or why he lost his feelings. I could sense he wasn't truly honest with me at all. I'm in no contact since the last time we talked and didn't answer when he reached out the day after, right after our talk about taking a break... LoL During the last 2 weeks I came up to the suspicion he might be cheating on me as well as he had changed so much towards me over the past months. Of course, I have no proof but it would make perfectly sense to me! Now I am thinking of breaking up with him for good because I have no trust in him anymore. Maybe my suspicion is wrong, too, but he is too immature to have a relationship if he can't even come up to me and talk about our issues so we can solve them together.
Guess mine was seeking validation. Totally out of the blue, she sent pics of us on our fav roadtrip and V-day. She said nothing for 15 mins then said Oh i just saw these on my phone and felt like sending u. how r u doing?!! I blanked it for a couple hours then said great looking pics, thanks. im doing great. she was checking my social media and found out i was collaborating with a female artist on this Juvenile Literature project. She kind of expressed herself in was that showed she was mad and thought I had already found another girl. I said we're working on a project and that I had no time for relationships. Im focused on my music and business. Then she said she thought about me and that she missed me. I just sent a hugging emoji back. she got mad i guess, said goodnight and left. been like 9 days now...
5:55... I think this is happening now. I think this is why my ex has got in touch and been friendly again. I'm not sure though, she was so adamant it was the right decision 3 months ago.
My ex reached out after three 4 weeks of no contact. It was the hardest ever. i was very emotional and tense. only going to the gym was helping me fill up time to not think about it. But then she reached out and i was so happy, but i was not ready for it i realise now. i was apologetic and explaining myself, and now i have the feeling that i just had to let her talk instead of explain me. were now three months later we are in contact even if its not the same contact we had before. things are way better than 3 months ago tho. We are long distance about 1300 km so thats the big difficulty.
I hear from my ex everyday. Need a hand with this one. Been together for 9 years. It was off and on. Never took the steps necessary to have a healthy relationship. She broke up with me this last time. We hang out from time to time. Have fun together. I believe she wants to know if the grass is greener. Im no mind reader though. What steps should i take. Keep going out and having fun?
All this shit is scary. I've been in 'no contact' for 3.5 months. I don't expect anything at all from my ex gf. I'm feeling better about myself and moving on. I've even asked out a few girls whom I think are hot but no dates, yet. That's okay. Life does go on with or without them. Time shall reveal everything. Best of luck to everyone that's going through the heartache. :)
Hi Rory, I'm a big fan of the channel. It's great that you're engaging everyone to tell there stories. Out of curiosity did your ex ever reach back out to you? I know you've discussed parts of your story in earlier videos. Thanks
Hi Rachel! Yes, my ex did reach out about 5 1/2 months after our breakup. But not a peep before then! I had the chance to reconcile, but I had done tons of personal growth and realized that I did not want to take someone back who could not see my value! It was NOT an easy choice!
Thanks man...my God!...I am passing from breakdown to recover..in this moment I can say 60 going to 70%.or something. But going up !. Thanks for your videos!
Yes after a year and a half . Now we are back together a month...He came after me once I got into the mind set he wasn't coming back again, not this time. He was miserable he told me. I thought he was happy. He wasn't. I worked on me. I guess he asked about me and went on my social media. Once I stopped begging and let him go. It set things into motion I had no idea.
They go through 3days to three weeks of feeling ego stay away from them and they will be very prideful within this tim NC brings them then to a place of curiousity which is a precursor to attraction right after that then they go through the stage of consequence which is essentially what the dumpee feels right after the breakup from around the 45 day mark to the 75 day mark or so ....highest chance of them reaching out ....
Of course they reach out people; mine did after 1 month blowing up my phone and sending messages bacause I did not pick up the phone. The thing is she slept with another man and that was it, my breaking point. I told her not to contact me again and guess what? She reached out again 2 months later. So, dont worry, whatever the case is, they do come back. By the way, during that time I was blocked on everything.
Rory thank you for the video. Can you do one about long distance and how to rekindle the connection? The LDR one focusses mainly on validation (that is lacking in long distance relationship). Here you explain how to suggest to grab a drink when they finally reach out, but how to rebuild the connection when you are far away? It isn't possible to bring up the feelings and relationship talk right away, and also we don't want to accept bread crumbing friendship texting... Please give us some guidance on the subject, I suppose we are many in this situation. Keep up the fantastic work!
If you could give advice as to how to handle the reconnection without soothing their anxiety and not letting them think we agree on a friendship or we are sitting on the bench, it would be interesting. I have been wondering how to seduce them again given that we can't hang out and we don't want to bring up heavy relationship talk first.
Hey Rory That is an good advice from winning your ex back. I am an huge fan. Thank you for this advice. I hope that i am working on myself. I have been moving on with my life. I hope that i do get an New job. I hope that you will have an happy holiday.
Thanks for your channel! Its been a lifesaver! Wish i found it earlier! My ex reached out, we have been meeting up, keeping it light and funny, trying new exciting activities together. She's furious I have made all these positive improvements after we have broken up. Only been broken up one month, its funny i'm not sure if i want her back anymore - she has not changed at all since the breakup.
I'm an example. My ex, after having lived together, ended things via email. I did not respond to that email and immediately went into no contact, and stuck to it. I used the 5 months following to put a lot of work into myself and learn as much as I could about myself. I focused on things in my life that I wanted to improve. Flash forward nearly 5 months and my ex reached out and asked me to coffee.
I did everything wrong for 5 months and did a lot of shit because I convinced myself I was doing it to ensure her happiness on her own. I just hope I still have a sliver of hope that I haven't destroyed my chances by now that I have found that true method to heal and eventually get the one I love back.
I agree with most of what you say. But I don't understand why no contact should be indefinite. If we did several months of no contact, got better and feel good about both options why is it so bad to initiate contact and just catch up, not asking right away the person back.
Because you are operating from a hungry state. You still "want" them despite the fact they walked away from you and made no future attempt to reconcile. If you contact them and you are 100% sure that you're okay being just friends and that you don't mind not being a romantic option for them anymore, feel free to reach out. But the very question suggests that you still very much want them in your life as your -partner- , instead of a now-friend who chose a different path.
Thank you for answering. Of course I still want him back, I love him. But I'm not sure I would take him back if he's not willing to make some changes. We both need to. I'm okay with catching up over a friendly drink without talking about getting back together. But maybe my case is special because during the breakup we talked about our issues and he said he would think about it during the summer and we would talk in september to see where we're at.
I know what I'd like to say to my Ex, if\when he reaches out, and he WILL reach out. By sticking to my boundaries and leaving, he may or may not realise what he lost. Until then I'm being 'me'. 🍒
My ex dumped me 20 days ago. Unfortunately she saw i was torn when she talk to me, but i don't beg or plead her. Just say say good bye and hug her. Then I've never reach out her. We met just once on the street and I just say "Hi" smiling. Now I'm trying to focus on myself. I hope this time pass so fast so i can move on with my life
Its true. Was with girl for 7 years. Got complacent, she left me...made all the classic mistakes. 6 months then again a year later she reached out. That breakup was 2 years ago. Just wet through another somewhat serious breakup...except this time i was prepared. Saw the breakup coming and handled it perfectly. Kept my self respect intact and am confident shell reach out. Believe this guy. NO CONTACT is the one tenant all breakup coaches agree with.
Hi Rory, stopping the video to answer your call - a month into no contact my ex reached out. Resumed it now because she seems to have tried a friendship, now counting anew. But she definitely contacted and in fact there were new-relationship vibes including flirting and all.
I think it is crazy that I wrote a comment that I didn't think my ex would ever contact me but after a year my ex contacted me and said she wanted to see me. I am not sure what will happen but I will say never give up hope because you never know. Ex's can change their mind just like they did when they left you. Stay positive and never give up on yourself.
When you're the dumper after a really weird and toxic relationship but afterwards you realize that somethings were fixable and you start to feel everything that you described here. Lmaoo wow. I'm getting slapped over and over.
FYI - I was the dumper and I DID REACH OUT. I have a feeling my ex watches your videos. He didn't want to meet and after that I only heard once from him. Btw I dumped him because of a lot of weird narcissistic behaviors he had.
@@kungfukenny1540 Hey! Well, He now has a relationship almost 2 yrs old. Makes me think the person was already in the picture but it's whatever now. I moved on too.
I went no contact for 3 weeks after my ex gf wanted to take time out for herself as she did not know if i was triggering her mental health or it was the relationship or other. THEN my ex gf started commenting on pictures and videos i was uploading. I mentioned in one of the posts if someone could come with me to the doctors and she instantly cancelled her ' plans ' to come with me. So we met up and went for a walk and grabbed a bite to eat. She even invited me back to hers but she said shes putting in boundaries by having me sit on another sofa to hers. We had 3 very long lasting hugs just before i was about to leave from hers. She also bought me a coffee from the cafe next door for me to take home. But soon later that evening and a few days later she isn't reaching out but still viewing all my story's. Only thing i messaged her was the day after and that was to show her that an aquarium is now open so we could visit it one day soon when shes free. still heard nothing but all i can say is no contact as worked and the meet was amazing and full of smiling, laughing and flirting from both sides
I feel so sad because I saw all the signs when he was pulling away and just like you said I acted out of fear and anxiety.. getting more and more needy. He tried to break up 4 times over a course 6 months but I would beg and plead and guilt him into “staying” (long distance) and I would still be initiating all contact. Finally same drawn out monologue/ convincing and lots of guilt happened during our last call and I suddenly went NC because he didn’t call like he said he would. It will be 4 weeks soon. He hasn’t reached out even though he said he will call me in a week during our last conversation. He is going through a ton of stress in his life and I knew this for 6 months but I still couldn’t stop being needy and anxious. Idk what to do now, I know he still cares for me but I really want him back. Please tell me what to do because I am so close to calling him again and I know he will talk because he is so nice and he cares about me... I want him to reach out to me himself though 😢
True that. But you know what's scarier. A very stubborn ex who always pester and talks to you when you don't want to. I had this realisation today and what we can do? Basically nothing. If our mindset is getting them back, it shows a very negative trait: we don't listen. So we need to learn to understand what they want and give it to them which is no contact. But in the process, a lot of us realised that life without them is ok and in fact we might find better people out there.
tiang hock yu omg knowing what I know now I cant imagine my ex pestering me or talking to me in any capacity. It would be hell. It would completely mindfuck me and make the healing stage 10x’s longer. Yes at the end of the day losing your partner is a catalyst for change, change that is almost impossible to eventuate without that breakup.
tiang hock yu BRAVO! This part really resonated with me, “If our mindset is to get them back, it shows a very negative trait: we don’t listen”. Wow! Upon reflection, I didn’t listen and was very focused on my own needs.
I didn't argue with The Break-Up at all I only cried on the very first day of the break up on the phone with him but I did not Chase I did not beg and plead but does that mean that he thinks I don't care if I don't chase ?
I was the rebound girl for a newly divorced man, I expected the breakup so I was ready for it.. he suddenly vanished so I applied the no contact immediately, I did not text or call him at all I went "cold turkey"..I vanished too .. He reached after 49 days of break-up he texted me .. I answered but I don't feel I him back .. the distance we are the lighter I feel.. I am happy to move on I deserve a much better person in life
I was a rebound girl too. But we were so much in love. I believed he loved me and wanted that future with me. We had hopes and dreams. I did not feel him pulling away in anyway. He always reached out to me everyday, all day. He told me on a Friday night that he loved me and on Saturday morning, he said that he was not in love with me. He still had many stresses of selling the house with the ex and troubles with the teenage child, etc. He told me that he needed to do things to make himself happy. He hadnt been happy in a very long time. That was hard to hear because he always talked about how happy he was with me. I am crushed. We've been in no contact for almost a month. I've not heard one word from him. I am working on myself, but I can't forget the love we shared. I'm confused.
@@rebeccajohnson3324 stay strong .. my ex keep calling and texting me .. I moved to another country and ready to start a life with a man who truly loves not takes me step to forget another woman .. please stay strong g dont call him and if he called dlnt answer.. just show him how solid u are .. otherwise he will disrespect u and never comes back
Suzanne K I thought what we had was solid. He told me daily that he loved me and couldn’t wait for our live together. I feel so mislead. At our age, love is not a game. This has hurt more than I’ve ever been hurt in my life.
@@rebeccajohnson3324 unfortunately what they say is only for the moment .. maybe he had feelings but its eax fake its rebound only .. sometimes this rebound will help them to go back to their ex be prepared or they just relax until they found another love... I know it's very bad.. please focus on your self and stay strong ..he will not come back and he feels guilty might not call because he knows that he used you to forget his ex .. you just be tough dont beg him or go after him on the contrary now it's your glory time to make him feel rejected and not wanted.. my ex called me after one month and half .. I told I am happy and doing stuff and laughed and I vanished again with no contact .. he called me again when he knew that I moved to another city and started new life without him or calling him or texting.. he is now trying to my friendship at least to keep me around .that's the manic if no contact you make them feel you the they are not needed and you deserve a fantastic person not loser
I have a long distance relationship and she broke with me for 3 months. She is being cool, rude, and distant to me every time I call her. Any suggestion for how to get ex from long distance relationship?
hmmm.... it's been over a year since my ex "ghosted." We were together fro 14 months, came back from a nice vacation, he left for work, and I never saw him again. There were no fights, not tension, and we always had a good time. After a month of his disappearance, I reached out and calmly ended things with him. I then mailed his belongings back to him, with no note. I've been in NC ever since, and haven't heard a peep from him. I think, though, that since he CLEARLY has issues, I never will hear from him again. And it's probably best I don't. Instead, I'm building a better me, and a better life for myself.
I ghosted a girl in 1984 and felt horrible about my actions for years. I was so damn immature. In the early 2000's I reached out to her just to apologize to her. Didn't expect anything as I was married but we've been friends since. I was dumped by a long-time girlfriend last August and have been kinda seeing the girl that I ghosted all those years ago. Unfortunately I'm having a great deal of difficulty moving on but she understands. We'll see what happens. I feel bad for you since ghosting is such a terrible thing to do. I wish you all the best.
I absolutely love your channel... after listening to you I actually feel better and can see things differently... but can NC work if you breakup for a second time...
An ex is just what it is,,,a person that walks away from you once, can't be trusted not to do it again,,true love is unconstitutional..And there's to many other people in this big world to have to go backwards.
It's been over three months of no contact for me. I'm pretty sure that sooner or later we're gonna bump into each other as we go to a lot of the same music shows. My question is what should you do if you bump into your ex so that I don't undo all the work I've done?
There wont be a lack of "you" when she completely changed herself only hangs out in a different city with completely new people and also has a new relationship within a time of like 7 weeks after the breakup
Thanks for the great videos! We split five months ago, after an accumulated twelve years together. There had been no argument, no bad words, I was completely blindsided. I am hoping for a video about working at the same place as your ex. I have been faithful to no contact, but we do see each other at work. I never initiate a conversation, but will reply to him if he says good morning or some such thing. As time goes on, I'm finding it more difficult to know if I am handling things correctly. I don't want to look cold, or petty, but I also want him to get that no contact "feeling". We met almost face to face the other day, and I later felt like I probably looked like an idiot with how I "dodged" him. I have no intention of being his work buddy. Oh, and better yet, he's in a rebound with someone at work. Ugh.
No contact for me, worked at first, then it didn't, I reached out, communicated with her as an improved version of myself, now we are back together. Is it also about communication?
after 15 months ex reached out. I didn't even saw her message as I wasn't even waiting her message in Instagram. after 2 days she again messaged and then we talked and she told how depressed she is.
