4 things I learned about Relationships. 

I missed you all so much when I didn't upload last week haha. Please share anything that's been going on in your life lately, let's chat! xx

"The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too." -Ernest Hemingway

What I learned from relationships: *Don't wait for anybody to make your life better or easier*

Imagine having a sister like her, I would talk to her endlessly the whole day about everything! :((

'We are irresistibly attracted by who will bring us the problems we need for our own evolution." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

The most important fact about romantic relationships is that you will only find someone you truly love if you are perfectly happy with being single as well. Only then love becomes a choice, not a "must".

“Ending is not failure” THIS. So many people stuck in mediocre relationships because they don’t understand this simple concept.

Lesson learned: Not all ending of relationships needs to be a burned bridge. It's all a learning experience, just make peace with it and move on.

“Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they’ve given us.” ― Emery Allen

I've learned that when you don't really know yourself you make a lot of mistakes.

Humans are quite silly.

My relationship of almost a year ended about 4 months ago and it taught me so much. But some of the most important things are that; - When you have a feeling someone isn’t right for you, a “gut” feeling that this person is not helping you grow or supporting you in ways that matter to you then it’s time to let go. Don’t hold of in the hopes that they change or things change because you’re only delaying the inevitable. - You cannot control other people’s actions or decisions or expect anyone to change to fit your expectations. You can only control what you do and what you bring to the table. - Pain and suffering are a part of life. Not all relationships are meant to last forever and the end of one is simply another beginning. The beginning of our journey into self growth, self discovery and the realization that we need to love ourselves enough to demand and accept only what we truly deserve. Nothing less. ❤️Wishing everyone much happiness and love!✨

Keep it simple. “Money comes and goes, beauty fades, character stays”~

"Endings are not failures" is something that is a very difficult yet necessary pill to swallow. It's easy to wallow in self pity/grief after a breakup, but recognizing the experience as an opportunity for growth is so helpful in moving on and learning from that experience.

With social media, it seems that people don't value relationships as much as they did before. I don't know if it's just me, but I hope we go back to a time when meaningful relationships were more valued in society.

If you don't feel special in a relationship, get out of it. You deserve better 💓

"Don't go looking for love, love will find you, when it has to, till then live your life to the fullest"

Relationships are way too complicated.....thats why I have a guitar.

I study psychology and we learned about attachment theory and I realised that a rush of feelings for someone very early and this feeling that this is the one and omg I'm so in love is often there because that person reminds us of our parents and the sometimes destructive relationship we had with them and that we relive this now and that's why we have this rush of feelings. This was really a pattern for me where I fell for really beautiful guys who didn't want me over and over again and I became a shadow of myself when I was with them. Now I'm in a wonderful relationship since 1,5 years and it feels totally different, it feels safe and easy and warm, not complicated and hot and rushed like before. I really like that.

Endings are really hard to accept at first and you'll really lose yourself, but over time you'll realize you're getting stronger.

Be a person with HIGH INTEGRITY. Whether it's romantic, casual, or business relationships, that sure is going to leave a mark on their lives. Regulate your expectations to protect yourself from frustrations.

It's so necessary to ask ourselves "What do I bring to the table? Would I want to be in a relationship with myself?" when on the market for a relationship. Self reflection (before entering partnerships) is vital for healthy relationships and inflicting less emotional damage on ourselves and future partners. Thank you for shifting perspectives Lana!

"I just don't know if people enjoy just watching me sitting here talking" - Lana Blakely, 2020 Should we tell her?

In the compromise topic, I think what I've learned in relationships is that one, like you said, will always find things that are annoying and frustrating and you might even expect the other person to love you like you do but that's the thing, you will always end up very frustrated or even breaking up if you don't realize one simple rule : they are their own person before they are ours and we either love them for all that they are or we leave. But the act of understanding each of us love how we know to love someone, you might love to write poems and long texts and they might be awful with words but hold your hand, kiss your cheeks and often call you to ask how you are and that be their way of loving. And once we really accept them by who they are, compromising doesn't seem so awful because we're simply loving someone by who they are while being loved by who we are.

Lana is the aunt we wished we had.

I've rarely received back the amount of love i have given. Its always half reciprocated or barely reciprocated. and yesterday my boyfriend asked me " why do you love me so much despite everything?"..at that time i didn't think of it much but later.. i asked myself the same thing. why did i love him so much despite everything? despite knowing he'd never do the same things for me that I've done for him? and the answer was ...its because i don't know my worth. its because I don't love myself one bit. I have no love held for myself that's why I always have so much to give to others despite whatever they do. but I've decided to change this. I'm worthy of so much more. I'm worthy of so much love. And specifically I'm so worthy of all the love I am going to give myself. its gonna be hard because I do love him a lot. but he does not . So its time to let go and give myself the love that I've always craved so much from others.

I think the biggest thing ive learned my whole relationship life was always start from within. Learn to organize who you are inside. Love yourself. Understand yourself. Feel yourself. For all we know its ourself that will be with us on the left and right shoulder until the day our souls leaves this shell. Thank you Lana

"That's what a relationship is, there will be ups, there will be downs; there will be highs, there will be lows."

Don’t know if someone is reading this, but if you are: You are amazing and beautiful! I believe in you! ❤️

You are so elegant and sophisticated! And not only that, but you create very helpful content that helps a lot of people. Love the wisdom you share 💕 you’re my newest favorite creator ✨

I met a girl, she said she does not engage in serious relationships, and I thought "Ha, I'm gonna change that". Glad I realized that early and started to accept her for who she is. We only dated 3 times, tho haha.. I'm all for commitment and love, so it just didn't work. But before that happened, for 2 years I've had this potential thing going on with my ex.. I'm non-monogamous and she said she wanted to be too (since day 1), but after 2 years of trying to make it work, she just couldn't do it.. so we had to end it. I've had the most intense relationship I've ever had with her and I'm grateful for that, at the same time I learned my lesson to not begin a relationship with a promise of change, but with acceptance. All of this just to say it has been a very valuable lesson to me recently. Thanks for this video!

You had me at "Endings are not failures," because I think that's what I've been hung up on without even realizing it

Sometimes you need to go through a hard breakup or life event to gain the courage to find your true authentic self in a world that wants you to be someone you're not. To live for yourself and stick to your ideals takes tremendous courage, and if your partner doesn't value that about you then as an infp/infj, it's just not going to work without giving up freedom and peace. Also, over/under compromise is sacrifice, not compromise. If you choose to sacrifice out of your own decision, then own it, but if you're forced to sacrifice by others then I would open your eyes and think again. Good luck and much love.

I couldn’t agree with you on the honesty part. Lying makes things worse because you always have to lie again to cover up the first lie, and it becomes a cycle that ends up in a disaster.

This appeared in my recommendations at the right time. I’m going through a break up right now and I’m in my listening-to-sad-music-and-crying phase, holding on to the idea that I will heal soon enough. Thank you Lana, you made my day a little better.

The lesson I learned from a relationship is to find someone who has the same values and morals. Sharing the same hobbies is a plus too.

I find it extremely difficult to find a balance within honesty itself.

The most important thing I've learned about relationships is: IF IT DOESN'T FEEL 100% RECIPROCAL, IT'S NOT THE RIGHT ONE. Because BALANCE is a MUST in life. If you and your partner are not giving the same amount of love, affection and effort in making the relationship evolve, it just won't work. 100% guaranteed.

When me and my boyfriend started dating, he liked me (and accepted some part of me) that weren't my best, he never hoped I would change because that was how he came to love me, and thanks to that attitude, I have grown and gotten better mentally and emotionally and that's on SUPPORT Y'ALL

"Some people are meant to be experiences"

You're 10 years late, Lana. :( I've learned this the hard-way too, and your first point about honesty is the most basic and important foundation. I wasn't someone proud of myself, and my relationships reflected this. Then I said "okay, I'll be someone that someone else can be proud of." Of course that didn't work either. Then I just started to be proud of myself, to forgive, to make sense out of everything that repeated on my relationships, expectations, fears, lies upon lies. I thought some things were okay, when they were not, and vice-versa. I healed myself not through a fix, but through understanding. This tips are certainly useful, and we all should know them, but being honest isn't beat by anything, cause it's not something set on stone, it's a way of living, to steer us and find ourselves and our needs and wants, and decide if they're going to be honoured or trampled, by ourselves or by other-which is like doing it ourselves, as we accept them. Some may be well deserved, others just fantasies of past trauma, and we should be on guard and open to face their nature. Relationships, not only romantic ones, will not save us from something. They can help when the right person and will to change is involved, but expecting them to be our saviours (or us being their saviours) is going to lead to sure disaster. They're a plus, not something that everyone needs, so don't make your life and overall mood dependant on it. Good luck to everyone.

I’ve learned in my long distance relationship that trust, transparency and communication is key.

I just got rejected by my 3-years-crush that I thought he'd give a chance for us to be together. Thank you Lana I become calmer to hear this 😢

Just went through a break up today. I initiated it but I still endured heartbreak because 1) I don't think I was honest (with myself) from the beginning which lead me to 2) committing to potential. 3) I ended up overcompromising & losing myself and only finding out too late that our expectations weren't clear nor aligned. I'm not even exaggerating that this spoke to me on a profound level. Thank you Lana, it won't be easy but I'll try my best to work on all of them, but for now: #4 especially.

Always remember that your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come. ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️🌼🌼🌼🔥

I always enjoy Lana and her ability to share her feelings openly. She is a breath of fresh air and is always true to her experience.

I really liked when you said " the person that you are today should align with the person that they are today" :)

Keep making videos like these , its really like a 1 on 1 conversation, just us not talking back but hearing you out really helps me alot something we need to hear , thank you 🙏🏼

Just like any venture, a healthy, loving relationship has to have these essential ingredients.👍👇👇 Self-love. You are made out of an act of love: when your parents agreed to make you, and right up until today, you are loved. Respect. This is always the name of the game. Trust. Openness. Passion.

"I just don't know if people enjoy just watching me sitting and talking" - Lana, I think there are at least 400.000 people who love watching you just sitting and talking about topics that really matter. I'm happy to see your channel growing. I wish all the best to You and please keep up doing great work !

This is probably the most helpful advice I’ve seen on relationships ever. Thanks!

I binge watch your videos as I do a school work that doesn't require much thinking but is very time-consuming. I feel like I'm having a chat with a friend! Thank you for your creations!

Thank you Lana for that quote at the end. That really made me smile. You really can meet people for a night and spill your whole life story to them. It's beautiful, deep and uplifting. Then you go your separate ways and you have the memory of that night to last you a lifetime. It moves the soul. As for a relationship, develop unconditional self-worth. Forget having a deep meaningful relationship with anyone or anything (money,possessions) if you don't first have one with your self. Otherwise you will use people and possession to fill the void of lack of self-worth.

Yes honestly. Accept your own flaws before entering into a relationship otherwise you can end up attracting people who will use your flaws against you.

I’m really obsessed with you and your videos The way that you talk makes me relax and calm Thank you♥️

i think that most people lose their time chasing or looking for "the special one' who turns out to be the worst creature and that is because they skip the real one who is most of the time an average person. I think living simply is the key, we all want the best but the best is not external it is simply internal and average. top people are not top, they are most of the time cheaters.

I love how even though every person and every relationship is so elaborate and different, still everyone can relate to and learn from this material, great video

It would be nice to hear you on podcasts!!

I stepped out of a (very) toxic relationship and your channel is helping me become less afraid about dating again. thank you

I love how very reasonable and great this talk is like chatting with a familiar friend

I think the most important thing for me is that it isnt all about being in love, it is about the decision of love. A relationship isnt 24/7 Perfect. There will be times where you argue about sth. . But you have to say yes to fix this... a relationship is like a garden, you have to watering your plants so your Garden can grow..

So true. I sometimes wonder, if we're looking for love to be happy, then why do we feel trapped?

'Committing to potential' is a very huge section that hides too many aspects of stabilizing or destroying the relationship, starting from the myth that this person is OUR, while they aren't, and ending with allegedly controlling the partner which will annihilate the relationship and leave bad traces. Thank you Lana for discussing these issues with us. 🍁🍁

Great advice and the quote at the end really hit home. You're so young and so wise. Thanks.

Not getting into a relationship for the potential is advice that relationship experts have given. Experts say that you should expect that what you see is what you get.

so important to realize that endings are not failures. any relationship, whether is lasts or not teaches us a little more about who we are and what we want.

Striking clarity, very wise and simple. Thanks for this glimpse.

I found your channel recently and the amount of calm you brought into my life is amazing. Thank you!

One of my favorite channels, this lady never fails to make me learn a new thing every time. Thanks a Lot

My favourite teacher of life ✌️☺️ "don't exaggerate yourself" ~Lana Blakely (2020)

you’re vibe is very calming and helps me grasp your message more

U have got such clear honest voice and “ wise advice “

Learning all about compromise right now. Your voice is so soothing. Thanks for another beautiful video ❤️

energy is real.. I literaly needed this at this exact moment! Thank you girl

This is the best relationship video I’ve seen on RU-vid, you are so insightful! X

Just found your chnnel few days ago (thanks RU-vid for showing me!) and I fell in love! Your channel is amazing, things you talk about are important. Please keep making videos.

This year I have definitely put a lot of thought into who I am, and what qualities I may need in a potential future partner (even though I have a hard time imagining myself vulnerable in any intimate way because I have gone through heartbreak). I've also put a lot of thought in the person I want to become, and quite frankly i look up to you a lot. Not only because you offer me perspectives that give me clarity and reassurance, but also because you inspire me by your ability to be organic. I relate to how you perceive the world, to how you prefer to explore the world through knowledge and humble yourself through the experiences you've gone through, and so much more. I am also an INFJ-T, and it makes me feel more confident in who I am knowing that there's people like you who think the same way. My 21st birthday is a few days from now, and I have so much more clarity on the kinds of people I want in my life. The way I should perceive my experiences with people and life. I've realized how much there is to learn about the world and how much there is to see. Anyways, I'm going off on a tangent, but I really appreciate how much thought you put into your videos. You inspire me so much, so thank you for all the effort you put into implementing authenticity and your personality in your content. Im always excited to hear what you have to say. Much love -Alyssa

Authenticity in a relationship is key.Authentic attracts authentic.Align with who they are,not who you think they should be.Thanks so ,much Lana that was deep.

There's something very peaceful and calm about her aura. It really calms me watching her. Great vids, keep up the good work.

These videos with just a quick chat are great!

Whilst I do not always necessarily agree with your views on certain matters, the fact that your videos always leave me thinking more about the topic afterwards is what I find remarkable. I look forward to watching you grow further and, in a way, growing alongside you.

So far my favourite video on this channel! Thank you, Lana! Sometimes, it's really heartbreaking that you know these things and acts in a different way, 'forgetting my brains' I would call it. I had my struggle being an over compromising person in the past! I don't regret it, it was a lesson for life. Thanks for sharing these ideas!

Wow så många visningar på 1 månad!!! Det gör mig riktigt glad att se, bara till att fortsätta :)

Thank you for this video Lana, I feel like we are childhood friends talking about our experiences in life. You're great, thank you again 💙

yes this is so true. appreciate you Lana , you’ve inspired me to make a channel of my own.

"there is a difference between putting your best foot forward and.... a foot that isn't yours...." dang

I’m definitely an overcompromiser- this video is so helpful and very much appreciated x

Your topics are so interesting, and at the same time, the way you talk has a relaxing sensation to me lol. I don't know why

This was wholesome and to the point, I'd definitely love to see more content like this. :)

I enjoy these chit chat videos because I just love listening to your voice! It calms my mornings :). I agree so much with the quote by Emery Allen. In the past year after my break up (from a 5 year relationship), I have met a few men that have made me love and learn about life a little bit more, and I’ll forever thank them for that. I love them dearly even until now. it’s not easy to accept the fact that their chapters in my life has (or will) come to an end but I’ll forever have them as friends to talk to. As each season goes by, it gets easier. As I meet more new people, it gets easier. But to be honest, my soul yearns for them now and then, and I still have thoughts like “I wish I could stay by you til the end”. But life moves on, and I am at peace with that.

Chit chat videos, work well. Thank you, for your insight and work!

i love your room setting it's so aesthetic

Just be by yourself. :) Learn who you are. The right person comes along, everything is connected. Love your videos btw. Keep it up, they help a lot of people!

I was in trouble with my partner. We broke up the relationship. We decided to work in make us feel better for ourselves and for each other. We love each other but we have very different languages of love and that was the main problem. Now we are getting to know each other better, it's like dating again... Don't know if it is correct but I think it's working and then, we hope to be in a relationship again. And what Lana says is soo right. Sometime we see in the other person what we don't see in ourselves. Also the "I can't remember this even do it makes you happy, I am like this so accept me" that's so bad. My partner is very bad at remembering things like important days, but he never told.me that "accept me because I am like this" No. And he is trying to learn about it. So be patience if you love that person but NEVER allow him or her to make you feel like trash. NEVER.

yes Keep making these videos please.....and never stop...they are so valuable

I love it when you're doing your videos in this style 🥰 It's like I am talking to a friend that I always wanted to have. You are so insightful. 🤩☺️

was binging your content, and I have to say, I resonated with this so much. "Endings are not failures" something that after me being in a 7 year relationship hurt to embrace, but it is so true. Memories we created that I will forever cherish, but not all things are meant to be forever, thanks for this Lana!

"You don't align with what they could be or with what you could be." Well said.

those kind of videos are absolutely lovely!

Thanks for sharing. Please continue to make videos, you’re helping people like me to understand relationships.