5 Famous Historical Figures Who Were Total Perverts - The Spit Take 

Never meet your heroes.

Why is Dr. Seuss 1? Is being bad at drawing naked women really worse than having sex with your relatives?

The Einstein one is so creepy...

does Genghis Khan meet the criteria?

Churchill worked a 16 hour work day during the war and had 2 shifts of staff to keep up with him. To this end Churchill also had a desk built over his bed and would make his secretary take dictation when he was in the bath. Less pervert more eccentric.

I'm shocked that Sigmund Freud wasn't on this list

Wait, that last one with Seuss literally had him finishing the sentence with stating that his drawings were absurd looking. This is like comparing a child's basic drawings to reality and saying that his sense of reality must be twisted, while both child and everyone else agree that it is more likely the lack of skill holding him back from depicting his view of reality.

Lewis Carroll: author of Alice in Wonderland Real name Charles Lutwidge Dodgson. He claimed that the body of a girl is pure while a boys is not. He wrote letters and poems to young girls, but when the girl reached 13 years old he would cut of all communication with them. He also like to use photography (with the parents consent) to take pictures of young girls in naked or lewd positions. One of his most famous models being Alice Liddell, who many believe Alice in Wonderland is was written for.

Why is drawing pictures of naked women more perverted than familial relations?

Charlie Chaplin made his wife do unspeakable things.

Edgar Allan Poe married his 13 year old cousin when he was 26. So there's that.

When I was in high school there was this old Jewish teacher from up north who told us in German class that his mother was a librarian at Princeton University and Einstein would flirt with her from time to time.

can i just say i really appreciate cracked not reusing the same end plates over and over again. so, thank you cracked

Tesla called Einstein the village idiot of the scientific community, perhaps now I know why.

that dr.suess one is way out of context, the publisher of that book later went on to publish all of his later books. The publisher wanted suess to sign a document saying he would never get published anyone else, but suess didn't want to because he thought that would limit what he could do. So the publisher said that suess could write/draw whatever he wanted, no matter how bad it was, and he would publish it as a way of showing him there would be no creative limitations. That quote of suess's about his failure to draw a attractive (or even remotely normal looking) female, was a joke about how bad he was about drawing normal things in general, he once said that as a child he always started trying to draw a normal animal but it always ended weird. I know his name wasn't actually suess, but i can't remember it and i don't want to look it up.

Still didn't ruined Churchill for me, if anything it made him even more awesome for having a fucking sense of humor

Okay... I'll be that guy. Ahem, "E=MC^2 is the energy-mass conversion ratio, not the theory of relativity."

Ironically enough, someone who also married their own cousin was - Charles Darwin!

So we're just going to ignore J. Edgar Hoover are we?

that books probably worth its weight in diamonds now

At some level, everyone is a pervert. Just boils down to who is willing to show it in public and of course is powerful/influential enough to not be bothered by the after effects.

Mozart loved shit. Literally.

for Gandhi I thought they'd mention his love of giving and receiving enemas. he was also a giant racist. that part has nothing to do with his sexual kinks just thought it was worth mentioning.

"We must put our purity to the test. Let's sleep naked together." Gandhi sounds like Michael Jackson if he was a catholic priest

Can't believe they missed James Joyce's weird obsession with his lovers farts

Churchill's one was a pure power move, he was reminding the US of who used to own who.

Paraphrasing miss Elaine Benis: "The Mahatma?!"

That was a bit harsh on the Dr., not finishing his quote "but they came out looking absurd" was misleading. Furthermore, other than the nipple-less nudity , the images didn't look overtly sexual more less pornographic. I'd go as far as to call this assessment prudish.

You forgot Benjamin Franklin, Andrew Jackson, Warren Harding and Calvin Coolidge.

I can never get enough of the ST! I find myself re-watching a lot of them, especially the one with the prison yard cobras.

Ha, the one about Churchill is SO British! No shame, great humor!

Charlie Chaplin once said thank god for little girls ._.

wohoo more spit take !

Thanks for not making me read this video like most of the other Buzzfeed list videos here. Also interesting stuff here. This Einstein list reminded me of Sheldon.

I need this Dr Seuss book right now!

Creative. And thumbsup for the last one XD

Love the Spit take, this dude is funny as fuuuucckkkkkkk

Honestly the Spit Take is probably my favorite series by Cracked now. It's kind of grown on me.

You didn't even mention President Warren G. Harding's hilarious love letters. Named his business Jerry.

don't even want to think about how much those dr suess books are worth today

Going to check each of these...

Thank you

I read Dr. Seuss and liked a lot of his books when I was younger and read them till I can no longer get access to them in one of the middle school I attended. Thinking back on my life, with the things I have read that end up arousing my interest one way or another. I guess its no surprise how I ended up.

Is it me, or does that last fact just make Dr. Seuss even more Awesome?

"el BJ, the penile president" 😂😂😂

I wish I had the ability to erase the last six minutes from my brain... I mean, without mass quantities of alcohol.

Thank you for that. I will now have nightmares about L.B. Johnson.

The guy that wrote Peter Pan And Lewis Carol

I think i need that Dr. Seuss book though..

People these days believe everything the person on their screen will say.

More Spit Take please!! The reason I started watching cracked and without it and without does not compute I'm gana stop watching again

The writer of Alice in Wonderland

damn that just blew my damn mind haha

now i totally want to meet these guys

that yell at the end of the video sounds like a TIE fighter

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, CRACKED?!

the screaming dude at the end almost sounded like a Tie fighter.

Just read the dr. Seuss one fish two fish article, surprised that that nobody caught the fact that "Nook" spelled backwards is "Koon", which obviously was what he was portraying as the thing was illiterate , loafing in his pj's, and too lazy to hold a book with two hands. That was some slick shit, how it rhymed and what not.

I had no idea about these guys! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Gandhiji was trying to control his desires. He just lay with the girls, didn't touch them. Moreover he recorded his attempts at controlling his body and mind like a scientist. These aren't the actions of a pervert, these are the actions of a monk.

I love how LBJ gave his wang a name "Jumbo" 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I love that you included Einstein, but left out Schrödinger who was known for being a polygamist.

I want that Dr Seuss book

Gandhi knew how to get his game on

Looked like click bait... wasn't click bait: thumbs up!

He is not widely known but Roman Emporer Elagabalus was wild

Jack, I want the bus song.

kinda wanna read that suess book now

And naked women actually look way more like Seuss' s interpretations than the airbrushed plastic in Playboy....full marks for getting it so wrong.

I like your list. But you showed a picture of the equation E=mc^2 when talking about general relativity. These to concepts although both proposed by Albert Einstein are completely separate.

well this makes lyndon johnson all the more terrifying but in a good way like it adds to his infamy i guess

...I've most certainly read that Dr. Suess book before.

me: no, not Einstein! NOOOOoooo ... !!!

Dr sues seems to make a lot more scenes now

Time destroys everything - Gasper Noe

BTW, the dirty limericks that Asimov wrote with poet John Ciardi are worth their weight in gold. Classics, every one of them...even the worst of them!

my thoughts about the scream at the end: OH GOD MY DWARVES ARE DYING (tabs to DF)

Can someone tell me where that scream came from at 5:16? I hear it a lot but I don't know where it came from...

Dr. Suess what have you done?

Do a series on religions!

This makes me sick and throw my history books

it took me a bit to figure out the double cousin thing

What are your sources?

😳 well I’m traumatized now

What was that scream at the end?

I have a copy of that dr. Seuss book

Let's be honest here: nothing increases the sexy like party hats and farm animals. Dr Seuss was just ahead of his time!

Churchill is also rumored to have gone naked while meeting Lincoln's ghost.

I heard that Anthony Weiner joke ;)

wow, thats all so freaky!

Churchill's one is just common knowledge.

Dr. Suess draws a few bad nude illustrations and suddenly he's number one on the perv list? Come one now, he's no worst than half the artist on DeviantArt.

My childhood is died.. OH WELL

The Dr Seuss book was republished lmao I have a copy

Sigmund Freud. Enough said.

2:58 Im fucking crying

I'm surprised Ben Franklin wasn't on this list

In Assassin's Creed 3, Benjamin Franklin is portrayed in an interesting way, with his philosophy on the advantages of taking a mature lover rather than a young mistress.

*raises hand*

You missed Benjamin Franklin...