5 Signs of an Unhealthy INFJ 

I mean that's pretty much an unhealthy anybody, right? Though I'm not with you on the caloric intake, that kind of depends on how much #3 you're getting. Oh, don't forget exercise. :-)

6 no animal near by

I think that's for people overall

Definitely relatable in the sense especially that if one of these is off it effects everything else

I think this is true but seeing as we are often the ‘all or nothing’ type, the opposite of these can apply too

That's amazing! It's something we all aspire to!

Ithaca Comments well I don't know if I'm past people liking me but I know that I've concluded that I'm the best company that I can find. And I find that I enjoy being alone a lot more than running around trying to make people like me. I do have the kind of personality that draws people to me when I do go out but lately I'm less and less interested in what other people think about me or think about in general. I actually find a lot of people very boring very empty and very predictable. I'm so not interested in what most people are interested in. Such as sports,dogs ,shopping , God religion,going to church, family and stuff! Most of that does not interest me anymore! Actually a lot of it never interested me at all. I think one of the ways I avoid those toxic people and those narcissistic people is by interverting by going away from people liking myself up in my apartment and just getting caught up in watching videos movies escaping! I love to learn I love to research and I also use it kind of is a procrastination from doing all the other things I need to take care of in my apartment. I am also older and dealing with a lot of health issues which prevent me from having so much freedom as I used to have when I was younger. So some of that is preventing me from doing things I need to do and from spending time with people. However when I do go out people seem to like me a lot I don't know exactly why. But they think I'm funny they think I'm pretty they think I'm interesting they think I'm smart and I don't think I'm any of those things. I'm wondering if being older more tired ill in pain has drawn me away from other people. Or not investing as much energy and other people as I used to. I still find myself however going out of my way to give food and clothes and health ideas and information that I've gathered on the Internet to help somebody else that I don't even know or don't even care about really. So I must admit that in spite of my condition in my state of mind I still find myself reaching out to some homeless person or some person who doesn't know something that I know and helping them. Most of them are very grateful when I give them help. And I guess it makes me feel like I have purpose which is important to me. I do want to make this World a better place and I would like to have contributed in a meaningful memorable way before I leave this earth. Whether it be an invention or some of my artwork or some of my writing or my film work I want to matter and make a difference when I leave so I'm not completely forgotten. Yes I do know that the people whose life my life is touched will remember me and I will be not be forgotten except when they die I will be forgotten. I guess I want to make the kind of difference that movie stars make where you can see them again and again even though you know they're dead. I'm also hoping that I could reverse some of the damage and age illnesses that I have I've been listening to Dr. David Sinclair who is interested in why we age and can we reverse it. He has his father on some stuff that he's been working on and his father is 80 years old and it started a new career and is living an exciting life compared to sitting on the couch waiting to die. I guess I want to get up off the couch myself and make a difference before I croak.

That is just age, after 50 you start realizing life is shorter than you thought and screw all that stuff that takes away from your feeling decent. It isn’t instantaneous but it happens thank goodness.

Oh my gosh I wish for that so much!!!!

I'm the same way, Ithaca. Getting older helps, and it seems easier to be an older INFJ than a younger one. We've worked through so much by the later years. We know we can survive hard things, and we don't care quite so much about what everyone else is thinking. So if you're a young INFJ, remember, it gets better. Especially if you tend to your own healing as needed.

Excellent point, Donna, thank you for the comment!

Especially since this can be countered by a simple question: How are we supposed to help if we are crippling ourselves? Doesn't make sense to do so so you avoid this habit in the first place.

I agree with you. I stopped smoking just cold turkey. Over 10 years ago. Now I stopped to shop unnecessary things for credit too. Having savings and not bills it's a bliss and freedom!

Me too😊

It's one of the lesser developed functions in our cognitive stack (again, a healthy INFJ doesn't have issues with this, and MANY people have addiction issues and they ain't all INFJ!). It's just something that we can tend to lean on when stressed or out of balance. Thank you so much for watching and commenting! Best to you, Michelle!

Yep. And I think that's why many INFJs will be found online watching videos and movies to no end. It drowns out the constant mess in our heads...

@@jaeloniala4672 Or to get answers if you don't know what's going on inside of your head. At least now I'm getting a way better picture of that.

@@Robidu1973 yep. Correct! Couldn't have put it across better!

It may not be a reason, but knowing yourself can help you pull out of it. Best to you!

Just speaking my mind! :-) But I am glad you found it impactful!

Ha! You aren't kidding! I'm the same way and what a great way to describe it. Unless you've got another deep thinker or theorizer in your midst, any of those random follow-the-story muses are just going to end up getting dismissed in favor of something more surface level. I LOVE the stories that pop up in my head, I don't care if they're real or not. :-)

Crippling is right, it will prevent you from doing so much!

Thanks so much Donna! I appreciate that!

Absolutely right - GET TO THE FINISH LINE - that's one of the most important lessons for sure!

It's the "fixing people" that can get us into a lot of trouble.

It's like an amusement park ... that sucks. :-)

We were talking about that in another comment thread! WHY ARE INFJs GUITAR PLAYERS!? I think there's an element to the fact that music does help us with Fe. Great lyrics, or a moving piece really does scratch a certain itch for your average INFJ. Thank you for commenting!

I have a guitar and I never learn to play it well but sometimes I Just stroke it randomly while lying down, its bliss

Absolutely Donna! Thank you!

Thank you so much! I'm a huge fan of being near water - ocean, river, creek, waterfall, anything. It brings me a lot of peace!

Thank you William! I appreciate that and the comment. Man that's some intense stuff right there, but I feel you bigtime. The Imposter Syndrome is real with INFJs, it seems! Thank you for coming by and watching! I appreciate you!

So true ! I oftentimes wonder why would you want this ? It an be so incredibly painful . And you can't even Tell anyone else , because vocalizing it just sounds INSANE ! And nobody wants to read it..well , except maybe me , I'm obviously here . If I could have had a choice, I'd have preferred a less painful being .

I’m relating to you so hard right now.

Damn..I wish I couldn't relate to most of these. Have things gotten better on your end?

That's excellent to hear! That perfectionism gets to me every single day!

Haha "read my mail" love it!

Absolutely. Your brain works the way it does but life experiences form the bedrock of your principles. It's great to be able to know that and hold to it! That's balanced and healthy!

No attacking here, just tons of INFJ love I'm trying to throw out there! Thanks for checking this older video out though! :-)

Thank you for noticing that, because I think it IS something that's certainly stigmatized and people aren't happy to talk to. While not full-on addiction for me, I've certainly had my share of down moments where I leaned on unhealthy stimulation. Best to you, stay strong, and keep shining!

Try writing ...start with those witty unexpected ideas .....then when you have written enough down try to interlock them into a story .....edit it to perfectly like I know you would.......book deal ? Who knows !..…all I know is we have the greatest gifts of creativity and it's our weapon when we solve problems ...we have insights fair and just that nobody else sees ....good luck

So glad you enjoyed it! :-)

Exactly! Growth is amazing!

Thank you for the compliment! I crave that perfection too and a lot of times it prevents you from doing the things you really wish you could!

@@DavidBadurina I'm learning that! 🤗

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the puppets! I have to bring 'em back!

@@DavidBadurina Amen to that!

I'm not trying to freak you out, I promise! But ... I'm glad they're resonating and I hope they help!

@@DavidBadurina they are resonating! I told a coworker, who's also an INFJ, and my husband about you. Hopefully they'll watch your videos because the information is invaluable.

Those 7K subs came really fast, but it's a small, dedicated base of people who get it, and that's perfectly fine with me! For now, I'm enjoying being able to connect with people, if the channel gets bigger it won't always be that way!

@@DavidBadurina heard that brother!

Holy cow JB a miner! Best to you, buddy, that seems like a tough gig. Run away from narcissists, they are especially troubling for INFJs! And gaslighting ugh it's exhausting. Best of luck, be safe, and I hope you're able to make that change! I appreciate you!

JB had the same problems if they get inside your head big trouble, but it can be reversed. Pretend there not bothering you and start saying nice things to them, sing wee hymns and pray quietly to yourself when in their presence. Trust me they go completely nuts inside their own head , because they can’t project there anger onto you, and quietly observe them they implode from the inside out big time. 👍

That's a great sentiment, thank you!

I'm glad it resonated, we are all a work in progress! I appreciate you, Lisa!

@@DavidBadurina just subbed. Looking forward to more videos. Helping me put pieces of the puzzle together. (Covert narc mom)

Thank you. And it's nice to hear from someone that reached out and got the help to get themselves better. I'm proud of you!

That's awesome, Louis! I appreciate you!

Thank you for watching (and subscribing)!

Hi Cathy! So great that you did the right thing for yourself! And I'm glad the video resonated for sure. Best to you!

That's wonderful to hear! Thank you so much!

Thanks for watching, Kevin! I appreciate you! I have felt the same thing various times in my life and it can be pretty isolating when the people around you are either very surface level or they are only out to befriend you for their own benefit. Took awhile for me to get those toxic relationships out of my life but oh so worth it.

You are so welcome!

Rough indeed!

I hear that, Vanessa. One step at a time try to work out of those unhealthy habits (and find a reason to get out from time to time, it's good for you)! Best to you!

Maybe get to work on some of those, yep! :-)

Thank you so much! I appreciate you!

Thank you! Glad it resonated!

Thank you for sharing this!

Aww Sue! I think we all have elements of falling toward one of these behaviors or another regardless of being an INFJ or not. For me, 1: Ditto, took me 2 years. 2: Absolutely. 3: Also, absolutely. 4: No addictions, but yes (darn you, Nutella!) 5: Getting better all the time!

I couldn’t agree more. My first thought was how bad is it! 1. 12.5 years and two kids. Divorced 6 years and still have to interact with her to a certain degree. I limit my conversations with her. When my youngest turns 18, which is in a few years, I’ll be happy then I realize there’s still events that will still cause me to interact...uggghhh! 2. Yessss! Being a computer animated drafter for part of my life became cumbersome. Retail isn’t much better. 3. Fear of what others think. Definitely! To the point I overthink and analyze everything I said for hours if not days. I’m working on this little by little such as FaceBook posts. If no one likes it I’m ok with that now. 4. Sensory Experiences. I do enjoy nature, the woods, the beach, etc, but I’m ok with just staying inside and watching a movie, playing a video game, scrolling Facebook or RU-vid. Addictions: nothing bad to my body, but I can get caught up binge watching something. Spend too many hours doing something and look back saying I shouldn’t have spent all that time doing that. That’s a borderline self care though because I may have needed that time as well. I’ve found shopping to be sensory experience now. Yes I’m around people, but the true interaction is limited. 5. Self Care. I’m trying to do this more and more. Raising 2 kids on my own has made this very difficult at times. Plus the need to want or I should say obligated to help others. I do my best to stay physically healthy by eating right and going to the gym. This helps when I don’t have time for the rest of the self care I so desperately need at times.

@@ms3x79 hey, I found my clone! Lol.. Same, man, same. Except that gym thing... i just cant make myself do it. But shopping? Yas! Just wish my wallet wasn't like, "nooooo"!!! I totally get you.

Sue Carpenter Gaiennie it’s like a complete sigh moment. I’m not the only one out there. I have so many people I know, friends and family and no one comes close to what I’ve been through. It’s even harder when the roles are reversed and the narcissist is a woman. As far as the gym thing. Yeahhh I just started that. It’s uncomfortable every time I drive up, but it’s not a choice at this point. I had some older injuries that have started to creep up on me. Turned 40 this year so I don’t want be 60 down the road and can’t do things I enjoy or need to do. I was always athletic growing up so the workout part is easy. It’s just being around the other people and the more crowded it is the worse it can feel. So I have my playlist to keep the beat going and I close my eyes if I have to concentrate on reps. This helps with the sensory overload as well. Shopping...Yeahhh never realized it was an outlet. One thing I have realized with my shopping though is it’s a mission for me. I have it already pretty much planned out. Where I’m going and what I’m looking for. If I can’t find what I’m looking for I’m out. I’ll also go sometimes just to take pictures to be able to make a decision at home then come back if I decide to. Side note: Too bad you’re not nearby. 😂 I could only imagine what the actual conversations would be like. Just get both at vibe right away.

@@ms3x79 same with the gym! It's like I KNOW everyone is not staring at me but I can't stop the feeling that they are. Some how shopping is different...I can walk around a mall for hours with no problem, no plan, just meandering. You know, there's this nifty invention called "social media" now that I think you might find to be the answer to your distance issue 😂. I'm on facebook, but I don't know if you can find me by name, I've made my profile unsearchable because of certain people I need to keep out my life.

So glad it resonated, Catherine!

Thank you so much! I like to think it has, I'm always hoping anything I share helps someone out there.

Boundaries are key! Set them up, stick by them, and when that door is closed, that door is closed!

Get outta that loop! :-)

Just relax, read about it, study the best you can, and use it for a way to get to know yourself and how you act and react in certain situations, particularly stressful. It can really help!

Thank you Carly! I appreciate that so very much and I'm so glad it resonated with you! I appreciate you!

It's VERY difficult, and while I'm pretty sure I've never been in your brain, I think chances are pretty high that you and I have had very similar thoughts. Weird, right? Have strength, my friend! You can do it!

Thank you!

Thank you so much! I absolutely love the idea of an intentional error - there's a technique that a friend of mine uses where they create basically a "Do this badly" journal. It's like 30 days of sucking at something, essentially. Pick something you have zero experience in (let's say, drawing with charcoal pencil), and for 30 days do it and don't care what it looks like. At the end you have something hilarious, and you tend to forgive the imperfect nature of it. I had no idea there was such a thing as a "spirit bead," how cool! And thank you for the compliment. I'm just trying to be myself out here. I appreciate you noticing, and sticking around and watching!

Thank you for the thoughtful comment! Narcissists can wreck most anyone, but INFJs do seem to be particularly susceptible because we do have a feeling like we need to "fix" people, or at least get to the root of their motivations. Someone with no empathy can cut pretty deep. Best to you, Jane! Thank you again!

Aww much love right back at you! Thank you so much I'm grateful it resonates!

HIGH FIVE! :-D

Thank you Lauren! I appreciate you!

Thank you so much! I appreciate that!

Haha that's right!

Thank you Sandra!

Hey man no drink for 11 years, I'm proud of you. And 67 going on 20 just means you're staying young! :-)

That's a great saying! Thank you so much for watching and subscribing, I'll work hard to keep your sub! Thank you for hanging out with us all!

Yes! As an INFP I believe it's the Fi-Si loop that you experience that leads you down that unhealthy path. There's some great info about the INFP version of unhealthiness right here: www.psychologyjunkie.com/2018/03/15/the-unhealthy-infp/

David Badurina thank you!

Read and research and be sure! Also remember, just because you are a particular type, does not mean that you are a specific personality. Personalities are different and change, the type indicates how you gather and process information, not who you are.

You're so welcome! :-)

I appreciate the compliment, thank you! You know, chocolate coma doesn't sound TOO bad ... I do the music thing too, I find that 20 minutes strumming the guitar (I'm not good at it, but I'm able to put the perfectionism aside to do it) really does tend to ground me. Even just quietly listening to music (typically an emotional or heavy piece, not pop stuff), lets me escape from that terrible loop to feel something. Thanks for watching and commenting!

Thank you my friend, I appreciate that very much. I don't know if I can do much by way of coaching, but at least knowing that someone out there thinks the same way can be quite comforting! Best to you!

@@DavidBadurina You're most welcome. It's difficult for an INFJ to know themselves better without the guidance of experienced INFJs like you. By creating this channel you're creating a platform where other INFJs can come together and share their feelings and thoughts knowing each other better. Not only you're helping fellow INFJs, but you are also contributing a lot to the world. As you said, INFJs are naturally gifted to fix the world, INFJs can contribute only when they are healthy & balanced within themselves. And your videos will certainly help all INFJs to know themselves better so that they can work upon their strengths & weaknesses and can serve the world in their best unique ways. Kudos & tons of appreciation for your putting up the great work.

That would be this video: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-TK8gV9oVSoQ.html

Speak up ! Or , your so moody !

Had to stop somewhere! ;-)

Thanks Tom!

That's a great thing! Having a good support system is critical!

Well, thank you! I appreciate you!

Thanks so much Billie, I appreciate you!

Thanks!

It happens. Hope you find your way out soon!

@@DavidBadurina thank you 😊 do u feel like ur sleep is affected by the moon somehow? And ur energy? Idk if that makes sense

Thank you Brittany! I'm so happy to hear it helps at least a little! I'm in the midst of my Christmas Recovery right now, so I GET IT! I appreciate you!

@@DavidBadurina ❤

Thank you so much! :-)

Other than the running, yes! (bad knees, but put me on a rower, and I can go for a long while!)

Thank you for watching!

And you end up having to scramble right before a deadline. It's a cycle, for sure. Allow yourself to create something a little imperfect, and you'll find you can manage the cycle a little better. You can do it!

David Badurina yeah I get distracted easily. But I am now trying to get it back together as best I can. Thanks. 😄