5 Things Avoidants Do That’ll Never Make Sense To You 

Never forget the destructive behavior of an avoidant is unacceptable and because of it they are shitty people and deserve no compassion. Behavior and attachment are 2 completely different things. You can be any attachment you want and not hurt people.

I'm sick of these videos trying to justify the selfish behaviour of avoidants. My FA partner told me he loved me at midnight, then in the middle of the night broke up with me by email saying "I'm not going to explain why, other than saying I just can't do relationships". Now I'm ghosted (it's been five weeks). I wouldn't treat my worst enemy like that, let alone someone I claim to love. Let's draw a line between understanding tricky, but reasonable people and condoning behaviour which is simply unacceptable by any decent standards.

Thank you so much Chris I’ve seen lots of content about avoidant/anxious online but I can’t sit through it. The people hosting those videos aren’t very gentle or nice. The WHOLE reason I love my avoidant is because there is no one like him. No one as sweet and kind. I’m kind of avoidant too. But I’m anxious when it comes to him and very confused since I know he likes me! He’s even said I’m the only one who’s tried to understand him. But now I can understand even better. Your videos also help me realize that I haven’t been making mistakes-I’ve been doing all the right things for avoidants and that’s because I grew up with avoidant parents so it’s natural-but hahaha I want to be happy not solve puzzles.

The cowardice of DA's is catastrophically destructive: to themselves, to their partner, to their kids (if they have them) - and to the relationship itself.

First comment ❤ I've been caught in an Avoidant death wheel for over 23 years..she just left for the 4th time..i used to be secure and dominant...now I'm tired and broken I can't do this anymore

If two people have this mindset of we can resolve anything together, I’m willing to stick through thick and thin. You won the jackpot baby. ❤

Spot on was with one for 2 years so confusing and the anxiety it put me in was crippling at college or work and always had these similar ideas but thought they would improve in time and be receiptive to self improvement and living authentically with the one life we had and it was a gamble that didn’t pay off and now having so much more personal success and with a partner that’s available for 6 months it has been incredible and eye opening

I’m getting really close with this girl who is avoidant and I think I need to dip before it gets any worse, I’m always unsatisfied and have that feeling that “something’s not quite right”

Thankyou for making these videos. You explain the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment style extremely well. I encountered a DA person in full discard mode, about 5 months ago. Prior to this, he had odd and confusing moments for 7 months but mostly his Magician outfit worked. I'm psychic and a mind reader and what I didn't know was anything about the DA Attachment style. I didn't understand what I was seeing. He appeared normal if not a bit odd I read cards too and I told him that he reminded me of the Magician Tarot card. As he started to crack, I saw much more of his Inner child ( aged 7) I was seeing the struggle for control right in front of me. It waa like that film, Liar Liar. He kept blurting out truths while trying to pretend that he was fine. Fecking scary I first saw his inner child when he stepped forward in front of me and in front of the adult, and said "please love me" and I said that I would. This whole connection was fraught, with me saying " don't ever lie to me " bcos I see you. And everything he lives is a giant lie to protect himself. He knew that I could SEE him, but man, what a cursed way to live. 5 months now no contact I can feel him approaching. I've studied SOOOOO much about this and figured myself out and healed mostly I'm hoping that he has had a lot of therapy and ongoing Because I can't be in a situation where I am required to be inauthentic and no communication required to maintain a "relationship " It's impossible. As I said, thank you for the work that you are doing.

This is a brilliant breakdown!!! Great work!!!

This stuff is really good. I have been an avoidant and I am interested in an avoidant. I have to understand on the feeling level just what is a relationship. I blocked everything out because of very early trauma. Thank you!

I put my 2 year relationship with a DA on hold until he can understand himself better, get over his past,, sent him a few videos on DAs and he said he would try. He watched the videos and looked up more info. I didn’t want to create distrust in him and wanted to give him another chance

Wow. So well laid out. Thank you 🙏

i was in a relationship with a dissmissive avoidant for 18 years she ran back to a old boyfriend before she left it is so hurtful

This is sickening and wicked for real!!

I’m an avoidant, and I’m drawn to people and like them for who they are when I met them. So the minute they start to change, DUE TO ME , I feel awful and bolt… hoping that if I just leave, they’ll become that person that they once were before they met me. It’s like accidentally knocking over a ceramic figurine on a shelf, and it’s foot breaks off. One’s instinctual reaction would be to carefully and gently place it back on the shelf and run away, wishing deep down you didn’t even walk into the store. You beat yourself up for ruining something (someone) and get pissed that they changed

My ex's Magicians Outfit was alcohol. He said he needed to drink to get his personality back

Is this primarily for DAs for FAs as well?

let them dig their own grave. glad i have moved on. I am not angry, in fact i feel pity for them. I was wondering if there is way to spot an avoidant before starting a relationship with someone? from my experience, it was difficult, she was like someone normal.

Avoidants aren’t selfish for the pleasure of it… we have a hard time with everything involving intimacy

No matter why, selfish and cruel is just that

So, the magician's outfit is just their performance and underneath, when it becomes too heavy, they are ugly nasty people; or do they turn cold because they get scared that them being genuinely nice makes their partner come closer? Also, what is the or a solution? Describing a problem is cool ... when it leads to the development of solutions of how to deal with it from BOTH sides. Are avoidants incapable of developing trust to feel what they are supposedly longing for?

Chris is this applicable for FAs

How sad to be one of those people.

My avoidant dumped me like a bag of crap, a week later wanted to work it out. 3 weeks later she slept with a co worker. DA are nuts

my avoidant ex doesnt want the no contact because she doesn't want the in and back out of her life but wants the space. Any thoughts on that?

How can I get your scripts from your video I need to copy paste it? I want to translate it and send it to someone who speaks a different language

So just be patient, give them space and come back to check up on their temperature level😅😂

Wicked

Been there done that ,,,, but in the end now or later you will see its better to have left them ,,, you don’t have to deal with there problems or issues that cause

in nc for almost 2 months with a FA after a 3 and a half year relationship. what a fucking headache lmfao. likes my old tik tok posts with her and i in it from her alt account, posts stuffed animals ive bought her on her private story, posts pictures of a symbol her and i made up that we were supposed to get tattooed. tried sending me snaps of her ceiling thinking i wasnt gonna just ignore that nonsense. but all the while posts selfies on damn near every app no exaggeration DAILY and couldnt look happier. this is why no contact, this is why i havent reached out once to any of the things shes done. i want no part in those mind fuck games man.

Fuck. That was depressing.

My entire situation by door number one

Why are these videos pretending losing an Avoidant is a life shattering loss? I’m set free of a relationship that consumed SO MUCH of my time for diminishing returns - free to pursue time with the one person that never lets me down - myself. I’ve had enough of these drama videos and the toxic narrative they perpetuate. Bye!

Wow! Sounds exhausting! 😮‍💨

My ex has all these qualities but is this why she would punch herself in the face? Why would she do this looking for attention?

lol at SI image at 2 mins with five fingers and a thumb on one hand. God I hate AI.

Watch John Gray videos, he explains....men who watch porn have low level of testosterone, more estrogen than neccesary. Which means more testostetrone is healthy to be good man with values. Eat healthy food dont smoke etc.

Get help, HEAL ❤

“Unstableness”? The noun for the quality of something being unstable is instability.

First❤

THANK YOU!!🙏 This has been a phenomenal video Thank you for explaining it so well. It's like finding gold. 🏅❤️‍🩹❤️