5 Things I Wish My Husband Had Understood About Me As A New Bride 

As a US citizen living abroad, there are many things I can criticize about America, but for me you two really represent amongst the best of what it has to offer. Traditional and modern, old fashioned wisdom mixed with a pursuit of modern self-education, I admire how you both fight to remain connected to humility and try to understand the other. Defying simplistic definitions, both of your intelligence's shine through.

Words of Affirmation. Acts of Service. Receiving Gifts. Quality Time. Physical Touch. If you were uncomfortable, couldn’t even tell. Great job 👏 Keep the content coming 🙏

A note to men on times when a woman wants to vent without you fixing anything: my experience has been that what she really wants is agreement, and to feel like you're on her side regarding whatever the issue is. If one of her coworkers is treating her unfairly and stirring up trouble, chime in from time to time with something like "wow, I can't believe she would do that" or "she is such a jerk" or "that must have been really hard for you, I'm proud of you for handling it in such a mature way" and that kind of thing. That details may not matter much to you personally, but it may mean a lot to her to feel like you really understand where she's coming from and to feel like you've got her back, even if she doesn't need you to take action.

Really appreciate you sharing your wisdom 🤗 Us young married people need this kind of wisdom, from those who’ve lived it already

Our marriage almost came to an end in the 2nd year. My Mother-in-law had a very hard time letting go of her Daughter. She has a controlling side to her(big heart and kind woman, but has her downsides like all of us) that was causing her to stick her nose where it did not belong. She was asking questions about things that was just none of her business. My wife also had a problem tearing herself away from being a Mommas girl, and it was causing major problems. I was working 70+ hours a week at the time and had very little home time. I managed to still do the yard work, tend to the vehicles and make repairs, but as far as the finer details like laundry and dishes....I mean, yeah I could've done that too, but had no time for anything else but sleep. The issue came from me working around 14 hours a day, 5 days a week, while she wasn't working at all. The house started turning into a mess and for two weeks, I made up excuses for her lack of helping around the house and cleaned myself, but eventually I got mad. I had been trying to talk to her about what the issue was for those two weeks, since she would stay over at her parents house all day, and came to realize that her Mom was using her as a maid more or less for herself. She was staying over there doing whatever Momma wanted and not tending to our own home at all, and was seeming to start getting real comfortable with me doing everything. I finally had enough and put my foot down. Told her I wouldn't be cleaning house anymore when she wasn't working and me working as much as I was. Told her if the roles were reversed and I was the one home, she wouldn't be having to do a thing after working all day. So, I let things go and they started building up bad. Now y'all might be thinking her Momma must've been down with her health or something. Nope, she was getting around just fine. She just had art projects she wanted to do and was using my wife to handle the responsibilities ahe should've been tending to herself. Our own home started turning into a disaster aread. Dishes were piling up and I was getting more pissed by the day. Eventually after a week of that it came to a head and I lost my temper, threw some things and left for a couple of days and wouldn't talk to her. It was real bad. Good news ia we worked through it and have been married almost 12 years now. Moral of the story though, is try not to let your temper control you and learn to talk, but at the same time, do not let problems build over time like we did. Nip it in the bud ASAP once you see issues and even when tou get mad at each other, take the time to cool off before pulling that big ugly D-word trigger. If anyone took the time to read all of this, thank you for your time and God bless.

I can count on zero hands how many married women have given relationship advice to me, maybe that would be a really good thing to encourage. A married woman tells a man fixing to be married a few secret pointers, and married men tell a soon to be married woman a couple things.

One thing that you should probably know seeing as you’re feelin’ strange being in front of the camera, is that most people really enjoy the awkwardness and the real human moments, that’s what makes this content so good! It’s not all about being super put together in front of the camera, it’s about sharing our true human side that comes along with our flaws. This was a great video thank you very much!

"I want to be a part of your world, but feel inadequate and like I'm invading your space" This resonated so hard. You summed up this feeling so perfectly, so succinctly!

Thank you Deanna for these videos. As a man, it's always great to learn a woman's wisdom on dating, marriage, and family life.

This channel is seriously such a Godsend! I'm a 23 year old Christian girl. My parents marriage/parenting was a disaster in just about every way you can imagine. There was emotional, physical and psychological abuse all through my childhood. I've been taking a hard look at my family these past few years, really trying to understand what went wrong with each individual and how I can take steps to make sure the family I potentially make for myself in the future don't have to go through the pain of a dysfunctional household/family. The conclusion I came to was that my mom and dad could have done much better if they'd each spent some time maturing and getting to know themselves/working through their insecurities before they ever got married and/or had kids. So I've been really trying to use this time in my life as a young single woman to mature as much as possible, and gain a little knowledge about myself and life before I start to think about dating or marriage. I guess people usually go to their parents to try to get a perspective on adult life/ask questions, but for obvious reasons I really want to avoid my parents perspective since I've come to realize that in spite of the fact that I love them, they are both really unhealthy and immature people. The internet is a fantastic resource for getting life advice (if you look in the right places). I have this thing where I'll find a male role model to help fill my 'Daddy-gap' and read/watch/listen to anything I can find (you can probably guess who my current male role-model is...) These guys are usually actors, celebrities, writers, RU-vid's, ect. The thing I've been noticing is that it is so much easier (but still hard) to find manly role models giving father-to-daughter type life-wisdom than it is to find traditional women who can talk about their side of it. I think that's probably because the women you can find interviews with are usually famous writers, musicians, actresses, ect. -- They LEFT the home and their kids to go chase their career, so there's no one to talk about what the at-home job is like (especially now with feminism being so main-stream) which is what I'd really like to hear about. I've actually been praying recently about the fact that there are so few traditional female role models available. Anyway, all that to say that I was thrilled when I saw you'd started your own RU-vid channel -- I watched the 'Old Fashioned Marriage' video and was thinking of leaving a comment (which I never do) suggesting you make your own videos. Would love it if you guys would talk about parenting too -- There's just so little practical wisdom from experienced people out there. Okay -- This is ridiculous -- I just wrote a book! I divided it into paragraphs in case some poor person actually tries to read all this. Really didn't mean to write this much. Anyway, take care and thank you so much for this content. I'm sure there are a lot of young people from broken homes like myself who are trying to sponge up your wisdom and do a little better with our lives. Take care! ; )

This is all very true. My late husband used to leave a note on the fridge every morning. This made me feel loved all day. He liked good food so I cooked Italian custards and meals. He also liked me dressed like a lady and I liked him dressed nicely for outtings. I loved small signs of affection that build the emotion slowly and also when he did something heroic. You two are really lovely to listen to. Bl🎉ss

As a man who has made too many mistakes, this was such a good video to prepare me for the next endeavor. I just want to do it right and not repeat those mistakes. This is Gold.

Women and girls need to hear from Titus 2 women. Thank you for this!

I love these videos! I’m 35 and a mother of three, going on four, and I don’t have a mother. Videos like this from respectable women who are willing to share their words of wisdom are such a big help to me! Thank you.

One thing I think all husbands should understand about their wives is beauty is important to us! Men tend to be very functional and practical, and as long as something works fine, they don’t care what it looks like! However, I feel like, as a woman, I get so much joy and fulfillment in making myself and my surroundings feel beautiful. I love the harmony that is brought into my home whenever I decorate, light a nice candle, try a fancy recipe, or put fresh flowers in a vase. It is also really important for me to feel beautiful. Sometimes it can be annoying for men to wait on their wives when they take longer to get ready, but sometimes the way you feel about yourself can really make or break your day! The confidence you get when you wear a new, beautiful dress or take the time to style your hair can influence great productivity and inspiration! I think that is what makes us so unique as women, we value spreading more enjoyment and beauty into this life. We want every little detail to spark joy in the people around us so we can share that happiness together. My husband and I are young newlyweds, so we are just starting this journey together. Your insight is so valuable to women like me. Watching your videos made me so relieved to realize all marriages go through a lot of the same struggles and if we keep trying everything will be just fine! Thank you!

It's great that you do your own channel. You guys are beautiful people. And I think the world needs authentic and positive voices more than ever.

Just want to say thank you. It means so much to me to find women role models I actually want to look up to.

Dry Creek Momma, sent this to my wife. Looking forward to you hitting 100k. Let it flow!

1:00 _"I don't always need you to fix it. Sometimes I just need you to listen. Let me rant, let me be emotional... sometimes, somebody will make me mad or do something, maybe they do me wrong... or I've had a long bad day, and I just want to talk about it. I don't need you to fix it, I don't need you to go and round up the kids and whoop 'em all for being bad to mama, or whatever. I just don't always need you to fix me."_ I think this is the hardest thing for guys to understand. It is difficult when you feel like you are not taken seriously, even when they think they have figured out the solution to the problem. 2:51 _"I need constant personal encouragement. Not just bragging to others about me... I needed that constant reassurance 'Hey, you did a great job today,' or 'Hey, I'm really proud of the way you handled that with the kids.'"_ Reminds me of the 5 Love Languages. This was probably the only personality test that genuinely helped me understand where their brain was at emotionally. To those who aren't familiar, it's filled with questions like 'It’s more meaningful to me when….' and provides a great jumping off point for communicating what you like. Thinking about our styles this way definitely made some situations smoother for us. [I typed that whole paragraph before getting to the next minute and realizing you already explained everything haha.] 4:15 _"I want to be a part of your world, but feel inadequate and feel like I'm invading your space... I wanted to feed that love language of his, but I didn't really know how, and I felt like I would be in the way. So I think if he had known that I wanted that, that he could have encouraged me to be a part of his world."_ Wow. And you talked about the Love Languages too! 7:11 _"Never stop pursuing me. I want you to treat me like we're still dating, and you're trying to win me over."_ And Dewayne at 7:51, _"What you do to get 'em is what you gotta do to keep 'em."_ Well said!

Love that you've started your own channel, Mama! I think that my five are the same as yours. My story includes two marriages though. I was 18 and hopelessly naive when I married the first time, and just 29 when he died. Being a single Mom of 3 boys (8, 9 and 10 at the time) 2 of whom were adopted (with special needs) took everything I had to give. Seven years later God brought an amazing man into my life and it's a totally different relationship - easier in some ways and harder in others. I try to leave the baggage behind me but we both carry our fair share. He was a bachelor at nearly 40, and I had grown fiercely independent in those 7 single years. Much to our shock, God decided to bless us with another baby - 20 years after my first pregnancy! Now, we're raising boy #4 and learning and growing together. So, I might add this one: I have baggage. You do too. Don't resent it or continue to remind me of it. Let's sit down together, unpack it, examine it, then discard it and leave it behind us where it belongs.

This is the Yin to the Yang. As a male, I appreciate the flip-side of the coin, as well as your honesty. Please keep going. This is wonderful!

Yo she was doing the things she wished you did for her OMFGGG MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

It’s so refreshing to hear people talk about men and women without trying to pretend like we’re the same creature. Maybe I hang around too many city people but so many of them would have been offended by the common sense in this video.

I'm so glad you decided to make your own channel and give the female perspective and advice for us ladies. God knows the timing is perfect.

btw: pursuing doesn't have to mean you call her all the time or "run after her". Like Deanna said: what made you attractive for her/him in the beginning will always make you attractive. This can e.g. mean your confidence, your charme, if you have a life purpose, your humor, your strong masculine/female energy and polarity etc.. Also how you dress/smell/look in general can be important. To sum it up: I believe, if you really feel good in your skin and feel attractive, that IS attractive for your partner. She can tell you to do this and that because she doesn't know all the time why you are attractive to her. But if YOU feel it you got it. And if you don't, you don't (doesn't mean it has to stay that way!). That's my experience.

its very nice being able to see both sides of each story. so many people are focused on one or the other. comprises are necessary for a healthy love life. thank you

Thinking a lot about what you have said about men needing “Respect” sad thing is when their actions/behaviors/attitudes/character is very disrespectful… It’s unbelievably hard to give them the respect they need. If his actions were respectfully responsible -- no problem!!!

Lovely seeing you both speaking wise words.

I loved this video. Its pretty pathetic that I’m writing down these items and making a list of the things that attracted my wife and I to each other in the ninth grade hallway and then of all the things we did over the years in order to have a wonderful relationship for 33 years because cancer stole her from me 4 months ago and I’m just reflecting on our life, myself, the things we loved about eachother and the struggles we had with each other. And just wondering if I’ll ever find love again. She insisted that I remarry during her last final months of her decline. At the time I didnt want to hear it but she knew me better than I knew myself and she just felt terrible for me…..what an angel.

I'm so glad you are making videos!

Thank you both! Great information 👍

Thank you for sharing what you know for us!

Thank you for the advice. 💙

Love your videos!

Thank you. Needed to hear this.

THANK YOU!! 🙌 I love this.

I love your channel. Thank you for posting :)

Awesome information, thank you momma!!👍😉

Thank you for sharing this, it was very insightful!

Love your videos so far Deanna!! You’re doing great. Such good advice!

Thanks for sharing- all good points

Love hearing your side of things! Have grit, give grace.

These videos are extremely helpful. Thank you so much!

Love your attitude and spirit. Subscribed to both yours and your hubby's channels. : )

Great first video! Enjoy hearing both of y’all’s perspectives!

Thank you for sharing this great wisdom.

Helpful and fantastic! Ty

I’m so glad you started a channel!! Already subbed and looking forward to the wisdom and content! ❤

So happy to see you making videos! Your words resonated with me a lot. Thanks for sharing!

I really appreciate you sharing this. It’s such good advice and I do appreciate it. :)

This was extremely insightful thank you

Thank you for sharing♥️

Thank you both for these channels. I love y’all and appreciate you both so much!!!!! ❤

Great video great knowledge momma

Please keep these videos coming!!

Very good, Deanna. Good words of wisdom.

I love this. I'm looking forward to more!

subbed! cheers dewayne for letting us know about momma's channel

This is so amazing watching you both , love you both to plum pieces, y’all two I tell ya make my days …. Thank you

Awesome video! Thank you for sharing!

Thank you for going on hear and giving your pointers.

This is really valuable knowledge. Thank you

I’m so happy you started your own channel! I know I’m gonna find some gold in these! I feel emotional just with the title. 🙏🏾

I am enjoying & learning from your new channel as well as dry creek wrangler school, and appreciate all the wonderful content, thank you👍🏼

Speakin big facts ma’am! You and Dwayne are wonderful people! God Bless

Great words of wisdom.

I agree with pretty much everything you shared 🌹 Thank you for confirming 🙏🏼

Howdy Momma!🤠 I’m a sub from Dry Creek Wrangler School channel. So excited to learn from you as well! Thank you for all the wisdom you and Dewayne put out here! God bless y’all!🤠💕🌺

Thanks for your words of wisdom, needed to hear some of this and will follow up on your suggestions...

Such wisdom. Thank you.

Looking forward to your next videos. Just loving the REAL’ talk, and well earned wisdom, it resonates. 👍🏻

I loved hearing your perspective! Thank you for the wisdom! God bless you.

I came from Dwayne’s channel as i constantly watch his videos, & i am not disappointed. Respect for both of you & appreciation for your sharing of experience & stories.

Valuable info here thanks for sharing

thank you both for sharing so much of your wondeful lessons with the world. blesssssssssss

You were spot on!! Thanks for sharing! I enjoy your husband’s channel too… Blessings to you both! 🤗

Great job momma. Keep it going. Thanks for your honest sharing.

And I love Dwayne chiming in with what you do to get them is what you Gotta do to keep them No other words ring, so true I got a remember that one

I loved the list and not enough people talk about this!, brilliant!.

Thank you. We appreciate your videos thus far. Well done! Blessings.

Thank you soooo much for your words of wisdom!! I love your channel, it is the perfect companion to Dry Creek Wrangler School for us girls

You did a great job and great advice! Thank you. I can relate to everything you said! Hugs

Great! to get your perspective 🙂

Both your channels are gold nuggets Kudos from Spain

Your courage and honesty is appreciated!! You both are helping many!

Really been liking these videos! I think you and Dewayne should do a couple's question and answer video!

Yay! Thank you for getting on the camera!

Love your husband’s channel! Super excited that you have one now too! ❤Looking forward to all the videos :)

Hi momma. Good luck with your new channel

Thank you Deanna! Couldn't tell you were nervous. You're natural! Keep continuing with your videos. God bless!

I'll use it as my handbook in times of doubt and in good times as well. Thanks so much, Diana!

Such good points that many of us wives/mommas have gone through. Thank you for sharing. Your hubby has such wisdom, and now we see that you do too. You did great. Grit n grace, love that. 💕

Thank you! Looking up the Love Languages now. Great video content.

Thank you sister very insightful and helpful wisdom 💙

I'm definitely subscribing Thank you 😊

"Have grit & give grace." LOVE that!

Great to get both perspectives on relationships, thank you ☘️

I love these!! Thank you so, so much for saying what I've never been able to articulate in 24 years of marriage.

Thank you! I am so excited that you started this channel! I have been needing this for so long. Wish I had this info back with my first marriage.

Loved hearing from mama!