narcissists actually expect you to tolerate behavior they would never accept. they are insecure bullies that turn into petulant cowards when the tables get flipped on them. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Truth. If I had a dime for every time my ex would freak out about my reaction to his behaviour that he would deem abhorrent, I'd be rich😂 I can guarantee you, they would NEVER tolerate the way the treat others🙄 Your neighbour in Kingston, Ontario✌️
So true. I've seen the bully side and the coward side. I saw through him quite early and didn't tolerate his nonsense and abuse tactics. I don't think he was expecting that. Whenever he sees me now, he scurries away. What I've learned about narcissists they overlook is that their good arm keeps jerking hard and fast upwards straight for their nose. Former neighbor from Waterloo, Ontario
I defeated the freaking narcissist. He thinks he's too smart, but I think he miscalculated me. He didn't expect I could outsmart him. Actually, they are not that smart. He thinks by yelling so loud, he can overpower me. He doesn't know I will open the door and windows for the neighbors to hear the nasty narcissist. The neighbors are the witnesses. I embarrassed him left and right. One of the neighbors asked, "Are you ok? I replied, "No, you should see the narcissist went hiding for months from our neighborhood. Thank God the coward is gone.
They are cowards. In new you they have it were it is legal for one party recording. As long as one person knew they are record it is all legal. Look up you laws.
He would get me so worked up that I wasn't use to coming outside myself I d start yelling cause u was with a broken leg and couldn't drive and he d get my blood pressure so high my heart is damaged because of it I had cancer no support he didn't have time for my cancer b s broken leg at 50 cause of him and diabetes he told me I m not helping you for leg or any illness but I was there for him and all the build up he was doing to me I g scream to leave me alone and he started baiting me to get me to yell and open the door to look like I m the crazy one and it worked at first I went from very nice looking men hitting on me all the time to taking care of myself to looking like an old hag house wife and out going to with drawn and haven't left my house in 7 an a half years not even to the mailbox but people that knew me knew something wasn't right and they had to remind me who I was it's been a nightmare I m finally nolonger scared of and now will see how he likes to be ignored and talk down to he need someone just like him .
Yes. Once you know what they are, their behaviour is glaringly obvious and you wonder why you didn't see it before. You also wonder why nobody around them can see it. I think it's mainly because they are one of the worst types of people and the Average Joe doesn't want to believe that anyone can be that awful. Normal people can't conceive of how they behave and their belief system. It doesn't really make sense when you think in terms of the human race growing and evolving and surviving.
I clicked so I can leave this comment: I am not interested in manipulating a narcissist. I do not need to clap back on a narcissist. They will be their own downfall, and my help is not required.
In one way i do agree, In my private life I just would close the door to them. But if you must have a relation to a narcissist due to your job/profession, you can't just walk away and need to know how to handle them.
True and if you plan to manipulate a narcissist for revenge, I would argue that is not the right way to heal and can backfire in multiple ways, even if you succeed. But there are situations where you can't get away or where other people are involved (like children), so that you need to be able to manipulate them to some extend to prevent further damage.
The only good thing about narcissists is they are very predictable. Once you learn this stuff you might be amazed at how easy it is to stay a play or two ahead.
I sometimes just smile and pretend to agree. They do NOT expect that. I dont consider it defeat to even play to their vanity. It IS reverse nanipulation, in a way, because I can get what I want. It might not be ideal, and it doesnt always work, but in my case, i kind of enjoy seeing how confused he gets.
I’ve noticed something about the narcissist, they are scared to be alone , I know a gurl who kept using people for money and rides but would dispose of them and not pay back the money , when she ran out of people to use she would go down the line apologizing and hitting back up the people who she did wrong , even in real life I noticed how she’d always need someone new to talk gossip with when she wasn’t getting the praise she needed from the previous friend , narcissists are infact cowards .
I’ve had this happen just recently. I’ve blocked her, exposed her, and gone no contact. She used me for about a year,,, being like a sweet sister to me in my loneliness and aging times. It happened so subtly. But praise God,,,, i had begun watching these teachings and the lightbulb went on. ❤
The only way to easily manipulate a narc is to not tell them anything about your life. It drives them crazy when they ask you questions and you just say, "I don't have anything to say about that." Also, not reacting to their crap, no matter how they behave is also their kryptonite. I have to occasionally see my narc and as he doesn't want to look bad in public, I only meet him in public, so I'm almost guaranteed he will behave. When I don't give him what he wants, he starts to wind up the victimhood and the complaining and then comes the insults and bad language. Of course, this is all done in a manner that doesn't raise red flags with any strangers that may be around him at the time. Once he starts with that behaviour, I say, "I'm bored with your nonsense. You're boring. I'm leaving." And then I walk away. My phone number is blocked from him as well as my email address and I'm not on social media so he can't slag me off that way. So I'm pretty much bullet proof these days. When I have to see him again, he acts like nothing happened at the last visit. What a walking cliche he is. I enjoy saying those dismissive phrases to him because he has no comeback and as I'm walking away, he doesn't chase after me. Saying that doesn't change his behaviour as he's always trying to find the chinks in my armour (there aren't any). But it doesn't stop him from trying. My secret is that I know he won't succeed but he doesn't know that because his narcissism won't allow him to change tack and try something new. Must be tough being a moron.
True !totally true!never tell everything about your life. But there is a woman who's chasing me making witchcraft(Mysticism) on me and saying false rumours,she counts all my life to public and humiliated me.Ask people to watch me closely and asks for informations about my family.She's twisted and dangerous! I didnt do anything wrong to her .And she talks about my family she doesnt know,she does that for pleasure and no one reacts!they look down at me,laugh,criticize whilst danger is there.Even the so called friends!They let you down! The other Narcissitic is my Evil brother! very dangerous! My life is in danger!I dont know what to do!They want to kill me !
I am from Greece and try to heel from a narcissist who destroyed my feelings, my self esteem and my personality… thanks for making clear for me, all these things that I could not understand before…
The narc, I believe, has a very long life. I’ve observed this both as a private caregiver, and as a person who was in a romantic relationship with one long term. They are so STRONG WILLED,,,, it’s as though they refuse to die, even when their body is shutting down. They have to have the last word, the last grab, the last atttack on your dignity, even while they’ve lost all dignity. It is that strong will,,, that preserves them. The last narc in my life was a family friend, who had dementia, and stayed in my home till his passing. He’d made everyone’s life miserable HIS WHOLE LIFE,,,, the Hospice health care professional was so helpful, as she told me this : WHATEVER A PERSON HAS DONE THEIR WHOLE Life, THEY WILL DO IN THE END OF LIFE, ONLY WORSE. “ so,,, just saying. I’ve found this to be very true. It has helped me to know this, and I hope this helps someone. 😢
I wish I had known this divorcing in 2015. It was so shocking that a person I had spent half my life with and still loved and needed to leave, acted in ways so known to me only now. The vengeance of a seemingly disinterested partner I chose to divorce was stunning.
Yep. My 1st was very verbally abusive. The 2nd was the covert narcissist...spent 9yrs with him and had a kid..to find out that he had been molesting my girls the whole time😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬
It was said to to me" i dont know who you are anymore". " i dont know what you want" you changed". I am not going to argue with you and then i walk away! I respond and not react. It drives them crazy!
Yeah, no thank you! I prefer just to keep them out of my life permanently. because truth be said I don’t have any feelings for them anyway. My life is calmer and happier.
Now you are talking about actually countering the narcissist. This is much better than grey rock because I can be active in shaping my world, inside and out! Thank you Danish. You help so much in leading the way for me.
I think manipulating them doesn't make you to be like them but but help you to get what you want in a case where there's children involved, where is impossible to go no contact.
There it is.... the starting point of breaking the psychology in a manner it may be rebuilt.... If they can they will. ....corner this. Guide it home to a natural state. ✨️
Whenever narcissist shout or get anger in my heart I feel like scared, fear, crying, I can't explain properly. Sorry!! But feel like sudden change in my mood I can't concentrate on things or my kids
Can't i don't have any financial halp from my family and i don't want to leave my kids and i know narcissist have a win win situation nar... is already divorced narcissist have a experience about that and also rich narcissist have a connections with peaple i don't have any knowledge my education is incomplete my parents sead after marriage i can complete my education but never happened and narcissist watch me 24 hours of the day narcissist work from home and knows every coin where i am using. After 9 years of marriage i get to know try to understand the situation i get know i am leaving with narcissist and there is no treatment first i am in denial now I accepted i am leaving with nar . Allahs tests very difficult @paulettelamontagne6992
@@paulettelamontagne6992Can't i don't have any financial halp from my family and i don't want to leave my kids and i know narcissist have a win win situation nar... is already divorced narcissist have a experience about that and also rich narcissist have a connections with people.h@paulettelamontagne6
Had the same feeling. It's self-rejection. Your body is used to betraying itself but your body also knows something's wrong. You cannot concentrate because you are unconsciously torn between the two.
Its helpful to know tactics of war for example acting weak when you are strong, demanding the opposite of what you really want, acting friendly when planning an attack, denying even when there is evidence and so on because it is actually a war you are in. Ty Danish for your education, very appreciated.
When I went through divorce with my narc husband I didn't even know the term narcissism. During marriage I felt he doesnt love me, well, nobody can to be forced to love so I decided to divorce. What followed was such a cruel behaviour even against our children that lead me instinctivley to the conclusion that I will have to fight him with his own weapons otherwise I would have lost everything and everyone that matters to me. So I lied and conned by purpose to protect my children and me. He of course didn't expect me to be like that and went into victim but I knew he wasnt the victim but my children would be if I didn't fight. It was a very satisfacting experience because it worked. I was able to save the home for us and to get custody for the children. Afterwards I learned about narcissm and when I met the next man whom I regarded as possibly narcisstic I was armed and could finally get away without being in danger using the 'it is not about you it is about me' tactic. HG Tudor and Sam Vaknin say that every empath has narcistic traits within them but never uses them to harm someone. But when you know you are dealing with a narcissist its good to have those traits bc they can save your life.
5:58 🤭... 👏👏👏 // 10:05 Leave the room, if they physically allow you to, and take a break in a place they can't get in. Buy coats with many pockets so you can squirrel emergency stuff in them. Too hot for a coat? Having a small, secretly stored 'jet bag' ready is not a bad idea either, for those Really Bad Summer nights. // Everything you said felt accurate IMO, Danish. TY for what u do 😊
You can get a 50/50 chance to "win" against a NPD in a argument unprepared in one way. Sink to their level and act like an NPD all the way. NPD traits are adoptable and everyone has a bit of narcism in them, so tap into that and use it.
abusive dad is obsessed with his family image, so during conflict I always mention that I might text the rest of the family and tell them what he is doing. works overnight, he gets too scared of the exposure.
So grateful I am able to move on differently now. I kept my integrity yet my heart broke for what I didn’t understand. I’m glad you got free from that chaos too.
I felt I was in a war zone on a daily basis. And I am one of those pathetic characters who will let anyone and everyone win. He wanted to destroy me to prove to himself that he is superior truly and not because I was a giver and a pleaser
I learned the hard way. If I could do it over I would agree to give the narcissist everything they asked for which was extra time with the kids each week. Because....he only wanted it to hurt me, once he got it he shortly decided that he didn't want the children at all. I have full custody! It took 2 years of battling because he loved seeing me suffer, if I had acted like him having the kids was a relief, like it gave me a mini vacation he never would have asked for anytime. See... reverse psychology
I find your videos helpful and thank you for sharing some of your knowledge. I have subscribed to your channel and I get all the notifications. I currently trying to heal. I am going through the separation and soon to be divorce of a narcissist who has abused and neglected me for 30 years. I don’t think I will ever heal. He has left me a shell of a person. There is nothing left.
Thanks, Danesh. I found you in the nick of time. I left the abusive narc with my daughter 10 months ago. He has lost control and is trying to regain it with legal action. I am 100% invested with all you have to say.
I am so sorry. And our recovery breaks the chain of this pattern. Being present and seeing our children from the inside out in truth is the gift I move towards daily. Accepting my beautiful self first sounds easy and is so dang challenging after narcissistic abuse. It is possible and I’m choosing it. Thank you for sharing and your journey.
Once you know and understand the true nature of the Narcissist, you already won. I find them quite entertaining and amusing. I’ve identified others who I have friendships with. I was always perplexed by their behavior now I’m actually very entertained. It’s real and enlightening. I Mirror their behavior and they don’t like it but can’t say shit cause it’s exactly what they’re doing! 😂😂😂😂
Thank u Danish! I watch all ur videos, i have learned a lot, these are so informative and my healing process has increased day by day, i hope ur mission against narcissists will be succeed one day, Insha’Allah! ❤
I had to stay 2 steps ahead of husbands ex-wife for many, many years. We had the 4 kids living with us. I didn’t understand the depth of narcissism at the time, but I knew she was ALWAYS ABOUT HERSELF. It was exhausting for sure.
Sometimes it is a good idea to manipulate a narc if someone canot leave the relationship,but the best idea is to leave them go no contact and live your life
I am abused by my own mother like first she was an angel for me but then suddenly i realized that she has a probelm taking all i have punish me for i didn't do telling people that i didn't even think to do that thing still now she neglect me from my own sister by telling her that i neglect the family like i am the bad person cus my sis isn't here shes outside the country she neglect me from my aunt's family members and isolate me from nebourhood so many things she humiliate me every chance she had and then she pretend that she didn't know or she didn't do on purposely so many things i am trying my best to get out of home but everybody knows her like she is a good mother no one knows that am abused by her ... God will help me mercy on me i always feel like am the wrong person alwys feel like i do wrong things
I was in a similar situation. I've left the family and I'm not in contact with anyone. A narcissistic family is like one unit. They use shaming as one of the main tactics. Your only way out is to individuate and live according your own rules. You don't even know what these are. You need to find out. Daily journaling for several years helped me a lot. Ultimately, it's about knowing who you are.
BH wants everyone to think of it as a Knight in Shinning armor. They play hero or tank in their own little sick house 🏠 game. *On point! Thank you again.
Thank you so much, Danish. I started watching and studying your videos about 6 months ago. At the beginning your explanations helped me to understand, that I in fact was in a relationship with a narcissist. By hazard we got separated. This lucky chance literally shooke me up. I still am a sort of spot of attraction to narcissists, but I am working hard on myself. However, I am very grateful to have learned that it is not me getting crazy but it is a demonic game with special strategies... Thank you for your positive contribution! Wishing loads of hope and energy to all those who have gone through such a bad time with a narcissist. Namasté.
They go by a Hollywood script, so to speak, a play book. It's totally scripted. I have developed such a keen sense of discernment that I see it coming from a mile away. Having been raised with my sister who was a morn monster from the day she was born, I've come to know how to deal with these individuals like I know the back of my hand. It's real eye opener.
They are all ego, if you want to play or use a narc just use their ego. Its easy, just play to their ego. Look at their friends and sicophants, they all play to the false ego.
Amazing absolutely amazing thank you brother for your content because the advice aspecialy I'm some spiritual circles is the exact opposite and it does not work. I really am grateful for you brother 💜
I had all the proofs against him, I collected all the mails I kept the house and he payed the credits 5 years. He was so afraid to be exposed ! He kept an appartment that I didn't give a dam. Most of all, I didn't want a war whith him, I just wanted to get rid of him as fast as possible !!!
❤ I always enjoy your show you change the way you look a lot today on this video video. Your hair was lined really nice and straight lying on your beard. You have you have great hair and a great program.
My son narc likes to thieve me of my personal by belongings, he hides things he has stolen, and when I go looking for them and accusing him of the theft, he replies at me saying I don't what I'm talking ablout [
A.a .person in our life who praised by others is readily to do any thing for them . Wheather it costs to go against to their own people.or to disgrace to their own ppl.can it be a sign of narcissist.we all siblings are ill and on medication.
Oh god .. will they be our shadow for the rest of our lifes?? Will i be ever able to move on alone or even with another person? It needs a whole book how to deal with them especially in coparenting
Their coward they can't fight a good fight. They actually already a loser. I cannot go down on their level cuz I'm nothing like them. I'll go give my love, attention, energy to someone who needs it and enjoy life .. God will punish them so the abused can relaxxx🙏🤍🌟🙌God will be our defense Life is short to battle with petty demons hahaha
Unless u become a demon yourself u can’t beat them. But, why should our ego be hurt because of demonic people. We are supposed to run away from demons not match them. Somehow their victorious evil smile never bothered me. But, I only pitied their existence genuinely. Whatever brought such honorific end to their plight. Why can’t they be happy and sad like the rest of us. Who and what damaged them so bad
Hey,I am dealing with narcissistic in laws and they are not letting my husband talk to me. It's been 9 months now. I am a mother of 6 month old. I want to have a 1:1 session with you to know how to deal with my in laws but the cost is too high. Can you please respond to me??
letting your husband ???? your husband isn't a child ...he will talk to you if he wants ...point being he doesn't want to ...or he is spineless....either case leave him ...your husband is the problem...not your inlaws!!
It could be that he told his parents you were the narcissist... It’s a common tactic. Just got out of a relationship with a narcissistic girl , I saw all of the signs, but ignored my intuition at first. trauma bonding is a very real and scary thing, but we must humble ourselves to get through it. Otherwise, we just repeat the cycle.
Hi Danish, my name is Dean. I have 4 children with my narcissist wife. Can you please help me getting full custody of my children. Can you help me find out narc specially divorce attorney in Detroit area?
Does the spouse who gives silent treatment for almost everything is an avoidant or narc ?? I mean what's the difference?? Specially that spouse of 20 years filed for divorce
You have a great vocabulary, but you talk so fast That I have to turn or go into my settings and slow you down to 75. I’m not as smart as you use these words and you roll your eyes so cute when you do it I think with your hair if you if you did a line it would look really great all the way around your beard and then a real sharp line on your forehead.
