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I dated a guy who was wonderful in every way but he didn't showed up like 4 times or came like 40 minutes to 1 hour late. He told me that he should help me with this or that but never did. I gave him 4 months and after that I stopped dating him. I broke my trust.
Edelle Nicholson I was like that ,I never follow through when I said I will call at certain time and I was always too late to get to him ,but I actually liked him a lot but I am just not a phone call person and I am bit bad with time management .. I think that put him off or made him more insecure more than he was and he lost interest. He end up saying he wanted to be with me but not wanting a commitment so I let go off him was too late the damage was done to be trying to fix it . I’m a grown ass woman and I accept my mistakes and I promise not to make the same once again
I told my fiance that i wanted a serious relationship on our first date 😆 and that’s actually what made him deleted his dating app as he said, he admires the fact that i know what i want and he appreciates my honesty. 7 months later he proposed to me with a simple diamond ring that is means a lot to me. Just be yourself, and let man see that
THAT is totally sweet! I admire your candor. He must have known what he wanted too! I wasn’t even looking for a relationship then I met a man I became interested in. I am beginning to like him more and more and want a relationship! 😉☺️🥳
1. Playing games 2. Being too aloof 3. Treating him as if he was perfect 4. The attitude of entitlement 5. Emasculating behaviors 6. Instant relationship
It puts me off when having sex with me is his #1 always first most important thing he wants from me. I am more then a great body. I am soooooo much more then a sexual body. I have my mental body my emotional body my spiritual body. Sex is great!!! Sex with all bodies connectioned together well that's intimacy. Its beautiful to be one in this way.
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
Things that scare me away: 1) Narcissist behaviour 2) Motivated by materialistic goals 3) Lack of initiative and does not keep promises 4) Not truly in love with me but in the idea of being in love 5) No respect for my boundaries
@@jacqueline8742There's this guy that I interacted with online via a social interactive game. Talked to him as a friend and then not long after he claims that 'he likes me and wants me to be his gf' without actually meeting me in person yet... seemed like he was desperate to be in love?
The problem is that you’re maybe attracted to emotionally avoidant men (because of anxiety). These character types tend to upset one because they don’t respond and they aren’t upfront. You keep thinking ‘he/she was so nice on the date, so why aren’t they communicating’ and it drives you nuts until you sigh and let go. And then you feel a bit alone again. Instead of getting angry about the people we meet, we should think about setting ourselves up for success. If we attract the wrong people, we need to think how we change our game so that it works in our favor. It helps if you ask 1. What kind of man do you want and 2. How do you attract him 3. How do you become that high value person who attracts the best of men while still being yourself (or the best version of yourself)
What pushes me away 1.) Lack of communication and/or unclear communication 2.) Being cool with doing EVERYTHING I suggest. Nobody wants a yes man 3.) Not being assertive 4.) Uncompromising 5.) Very sexual way too early 6.) This is really For me because alot of women don't mind. Announcing how many cars you have or where you shop at, to show that you have money. It's a major turnoff for me. This makes me immediately uninterested.
Megan Lindsey You’re a beautiful woman. Idk how you can get past #5 and #6 because for one most men are sexual by nature. And, they can’t seem to help themselves with women they are highly attracted to. Sucks sometimes but yeah. I used to get so frustrated about this as well until I learn to used this to my advantage. It’s the promise of it tht keeps things interesting. #6 most men would over compensate to get with a woman they perceived to be out of their league by talkin about this ish they got Another silly one. Yet, it happens 🤷🏽♀️😊
What scares/pushes me away.. 1. Comming on too strong. Or being controlling. 2. Pushing for sex when I've said no, or set my boundaries early. 3. Lying 4. Dating other women at the same time ( we ALWAYS find out) 5. Hiding phone 6. Being wishy washy. Not planning dates and always making me go to you. 7. Having too much feminine energy.
When a man becomes cold or silent after a dispute is one thing that will push me away. I prefer instead when a disagreement occurs that he lets me know what bothers him and if he needs time and space I can do that for him. 😌
Kiara White I also think that if a man becomes silent or cold after a dispute that is a red flag 🚩 that this is how they will behave or worse later on in a more committed relationship.
Most men wont share their feelings and thats my biggest turn off if you cant tell me how you are feeling when you are feeling it dont even think about it
The "emasculating behavior" point hit me hard. I am definitely one to just want things done the "right" and "most effective" way, and since my husband is such a sweetheart, I never really considered how he may feel when I do this. From now on, I'll just thank him...and redo it when he goes to work lmao.
That's not true for me. It feels bad when someone says there is a better way of doing something but at the same time it's better because that's the only way to improve. There is a way to tell things without making others hate you
Sure, dont royally insult the guy, but i dont get this...us women just have to play dumb and sit on the couch so he can think he is some kind of bad ass... Meanwhile we dont get to play to any of our strengths? What we spose to do just sit on the couch, and pretend to be happy having no life, and no ability to be hands on and use our brains? Why so we can just sit there and get fat? Are men really that fragile that they cant even behold a competent woman without feeling inferior. That sound like some pussy shit. Now i am not into emasculating men...i believe strongly against it, but i am also not into emasculating myself either. Wtf? If a man cant handle my masculine energy then he needs to fuck off...my opinion. At the same time, i want them to feel self empowered....just not at the expense of my own self empowerment. Cant they feel self empowered without me having to pretend im something that im not? Im not Totally incompetent and totally witless...why should i pretend to be and actually royally devalue myself in the process? And if they cant love me for being who i am and i have to pretend who i am, what the point of even having any kind of relationship?
On second thought, maybe just focusing on your own projects and applying your own expertise and emersing yourself in your own energy within projects, is enough. while you can still just admire him in whatever project he chooses to involve and invest himself in, and also allow him the space to mess it up so he can learn how to do it him self and feel accomplished, and you still admire him and his ability to problem solve that when he didnt know how, he found a way Sometimes they come up with different ways of doing things, that i had never thought of before, and that were brilliant, because they had the room they needed to solve their problem in their own way. This is great. I like this more. And honestly, if they really dont know, most of the time they'll eventually ask. Lol Feeling thankful🙏
Kristin, I am so sorry. I was married to one and it took me 16 years to realize it. The healing from that kind of abuse is tough but not impossible. Hold your head up. There are some great RU-vid videos that address narcissism. Matt has an excellent one as well as Mark Rosenberg. If you search the subject narcissistic abuse or warning signs of dating a narcissist - you'll get some really good information. Praying for you.
Saying no to sex in general should be used sparingly. If a man is giving up his sexual freedom for a monogamous relationship, particularly a high-class male who doesn't have any trouble finding women, saying no to him may boost your ego, but if you are just giving into laziness, then it is a very foolish thing to do. Sex is a really big deal to men. Every time you say no, and it isn't obvious why, you are seriously damaging your relationship, and your sex life, as much as you may want to think that shouldn't be the case.
@Felix Bruyns It isn't "slimy" for men to want sex, that is perfectly natural. It is slimy for women to supress/lie about their natural desire for sex, in order to manipulate men by withholding sex. And women can still keep their catholic virginity vows, as well as keeping their men sexually happy. And just so you know, your attempt to virtue signal there, came across as "slimy" to most mature, intelligent women. I really do respect women, and they are not fooled by that at all.
@@TheToledoTrumpton what if the reason for not wanting sex right away is because I want to make sure that the relationship is not just because sex is great? Im a sexual and passionate woman but Im looking for something deeper than just sexual compatibility that I am willing to control my sexual desires to make sure there is mental, emotional and even spiritual (not about religion) chemistry first.
Lol, I had a guy pull me into the instant relationship. From the vet first date, he kept saying “I made you my girlfriend.” “You’re mine.” He even told me once, “You’re my soulmate. You just don’t know it yet.” And yet, he’s the one that ghosted me as punishment for setting a boundary he couldn’t accept. I haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks. And I’m moving on.
This is a good one! Yeah, I've also been needeing those tricks a lot. Even straight "fuck off" want sometimes work" because the answer is "nice, I really like challanges!".
He needs to fight for me. When things get hard & you are having a conversation about a difficult topic, don't give up or wimp out. Hang in there & put in a heroic effort! This tells me I'm worth it. Giving up too soon is a big disappointment & turnoff.
Not trying at all is even worse. My ex did this. He f***ed up and hurt me, and when we needed to sort that thing out he just let go of us like it was the only thing he could do.
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
We are all children. There's a difference between being children (playful) and being childish. The vulnerability of being childlike is not the same as immaturity. Don't perceive Coco meant immaturity because if you know anything about men, you know a man needs to be respected. Coco knew men have to be treated gently, and respectfully as you would nurture a child. That's when you have a real emotionally intimate relationship with a man. Leave your narcissistic misandrist tendencies at the door ladies, your making your lives to difficult.
Being aloof and distant (without proper communication) is a huge turn off for me. If he's busy with work or if he needs alone time to deal with something and he lets me know that, I totally get it and I give him space while going about my own life. If he's not responsive and he's cold and doesn't communicate why, it literally drains the desire and affection from me. Makes me feel like he's not into me, or that the relationship is not going anywhere, and usually when he's like that, I start pulling back. I start putting up walls in preparation for a break up or something.
Some behaviors for men which push women away: • Cursing • Acting different when in front of their friends • Asking for intimacy or intimate photos in the early stages of relationship (not letting it flow naturally) • Judging you/your actions • Jealousy (for some women) • Overprotective • One sided thinking, doesn’t consider your feelings, not compromising
Speak for yourself and your circle of friends on the cursing. I can out-cuss my current boyfriend easily, him saying a few choice words just makes me join in ironically or more often ask what's wrong with no judgement at all. The rest is spot on though.
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
I love it when my date compliments me. Any compliment is great, as long as it's sincere. I also appreciate when there is no pressure to do things together when I am very busy. I like my personal time and need to feel my boundaries are not only respected, but also appreciated and understood. Thanks matt for these respectful and helpful videos. 👍🤗
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
After the narc I dated & befriended, he put me in the friendzone & said his health ( had numerous health issues besides Ptsd from the war) wouldn't allow him to be in a relationship ( cause he knew I wanted to be with him on a romantic level) then I saw he was already in one either someone who I researched ,then that broke off & then had passing fling after the broke up one, kept me on the back burner breadcrumbing, til he had a fallout anger issue on me , long story who then blocked, ghosted & discarded. Then met a few months later online, a tall blone ( who was few " shorter than him ( he was 5'11") who ended up moving in with him after 2 months of dating & says on his FB page is the fiancé, showed a pic of her & another of them together, with her sitting on his Harley chopper, saying this lady won his heart. Go figure . They're in the dopamine , seratonin stage. If she only knew he's still on 5 dating sites, same as mine. Karma's going to get him (both) when the shit hits the fan.. Can't wait to see when that happens. Lol..
@@krizziefernando5937 I don't believe in Long Distance relationships. It's hard enough with work and housekeeping and friends to date local. But many men seem to think that we either have nothing but time for them or that we should be grateful for any time they wish to spend with us. Games instead of communication.
Ghosting with no arguments or discussions before,.like I love you today, tomorrow you are nothing, wth.and than when the guy says you pushed him away and says its your fault for him being heartless and you dont know how to play the game! There was no game and I dont know how he went from good to heartless games ..like a slap in the face when you didn't see anyone in front of you..happens quick unexpected and you go into shock mode and I blame myself but it's him, he doesnt communicate, if he doesnt want to be back together with me, then tell me, dont see my messages daily and than radio silence..I guess leaving him alone and maintaining my value, maybe he will talk to me and maybe he won't, he's done this before but hasn't changed, it's a self centered manipulative game, and I'm around when it's convenient for him.Im his fall back girl when things dont work out with someone he left me for, he conveniently gets into a relationship or something with coworkers, or women who work security at his work, its convenient, he get time ,conversation, rides, laughs, attraction and fun with women at work he sees more than me, and than goes and pulls the grass is greener, comparing me, and than he thinks he's got someone better than me, and than gets used, hurt, cheated on...Karma...he hurt me and he got hurt too
@@alisonwingler2113 If he's using you block him. Move on. But if the way you wrote the reply to my comment is how you communicate with him.... well, slow down. Organize your thoughts and try to talk to him rather than spew. But really the best way to shut down someone who uses silence as a dating ploy just needs to be ignored. He will either figure it out or move on. Either way you are better off.
Consistency and communication are what I need. Someone who makes me feel safe. If someone doesn't ask if I got home ok when it was storming I tend to think they don't care.
Behaviors that push me away are inconsistent communication, being too clingy/needy, talk and behavior not lining up and most importantly - talking negatively about their ex. If all of your exes are the problem and you don't own culpability in failed relationships then that tells me one thing - you can't grow as a partner and could potentially be a narcissist.
@@maidenmarian1 egos do not protect ego is fear based fear of rejection fear of upsetting egos keep us stuck! Egos are fragile they hinder growth! You protect yourself by knowing yourself inside out and being able to adult and make wise decision even if they hurt or feel uncomfortable by communicating exactly what you want exactly how you feel by showing your vulnerabilities! Egos need to be dropped they are nothing but fear based masks to hide who what and our true feelings xxx
@@CosmicHazeTarot1111 Interesting Ideas. Happy New Year!! I will consider your thoughts!! Merry Christmas past and Happiest of New years to you and everyone here!!!
Haha can't drop the ego nun its the first thing that forms us in our youth we would drop our morals (sense if right and wrong) before we dropped our who's (the thing that tells us what we want and what may make us happy this moment) but u probably weren't talking about the ID lol sorry
He is insecure. People who are good in bed dont have to tell anyone they are. It will eventually be proven with performance, actions, not words. I pity him.
I agree, if he is actually good in bed ,he doesn’t need to say it. Those guys are usually bad and if they need to voice that, it mean that they are insecure and if your bed xperience is bad with him, he can blame it on you
1. Playing games 0:34 2. Being too aloof 1:38 3. Treating him as if he is perfect 2:26 4. The attitude of entitlement 3:36 5. Emasculating behaviour 5:47 6. Instant relationship 8:53
When a man gets too relaxed in the relationship it scares me off. Meaning, he takes you out for a while and then it’s let’s stay home. Then staying home becomes the pattern.
Bringing the topic of sex up right away. It's like they want reassurance that they will get laid before putting any kind of effort. It's kind of juvenile and I immediately dismiss a guy who does that. I mean, duh, we will eventually get there, what's the rush! It's very discouraging.
Exactly!!!!! Ultimate turn off. Bucket any guy who does it they just want sex. A man who really likes you won’t bring up sex before getting to know you.
If you really want to be (his) woman of high standards don't ever 'get there' unless you have a ring and wedding plans. Even then it's best to wait until the honeymoon night because going to bed with him before that takes away his motivation to get married to begin with, and you 'tarnish' your own self worth, even in your own heart. The wedding night is nothing special to him either, if you've already had sex. Men want their wedding nights to be special too, so you both get robbed of that special bonding meant for your wedding night. When you have sex with a man, he stops pursuing you in an emotional way that will grow the relationship, because he already has the shallow thing he's wanted. It stunts the growth of the emotional aspect of the relationship with a man. If you wait, it is incredibly wonderful to see how our relationship develops without giving up your power! If sex is the only thing he wants and he leaves because you're not having sex with him, let him go!!! Our culture is upside down created by men for them to have their cake with no consequences, that includes the option of abortion as well. They have no consequences I'm getting a female pregnant. Do not try to be what he wants at the expense of Who You Are and what you need. It's imperative to find out what you need emotionally, to truly know yourself, and then evaluate whether your dates have what it takes to fill those needs to be a possible mate. Not only one or two of them but all of them! It eliminates wasting invested years with the wrong person because it feels comfortable. Don't get into relationships that turn into habit, rather than a meaningful, purposeful and growing one! The moment you continue a relationship that you know in your gut is not right for you, you're moving into the limbo Zone! We adjust and get used to relationships that we know are not in our best self interest, out of a multitude of false fears! You were fine before you met him and you'll be fine when you let him go! Don't ever settle, God has a 'perfect' mate for you. Not 'perfect' but perfect for you, and you only have to ask God for him. Learn from my experience, don't relive it! ♡
A lot of the same behaviors turn me off: being put on a pedestal, someone showing more interest than is deserved (and a massive red flag if they get mad at me for having my own life, for not being able to instantly reply), if they get upset/angry at me for not giving them what they want (1st date/meet in public, no agreements of sex, etc) -- actually probably any anger, hostility, frustration, etc aimed at me or near me. If they are venting about a specific thing that has nothing to do with me, that is okay...but when it's directed at me or things I'm involved with, it's a big red flag. Honestly, a lot of the massive turn-offs and things that make me walk away are all red flags for abusive/toxic partners. 😬 In my online dating, I will openly state boundaries for myself and if the person I've matched with can't honor or understand those, I won't even bother meeting them. Insta-block.
I am guilty of this behavior. And I regret it for showing so much interest. He has reservations towards you for some reason. I just couldn't bring myself to trust the woman in my case.
I've always known women to like mystery in a man because otherwise they feel the relationship is stale and predictable. Your comment confuses me. Well done.
Something that scares me away is almost like the emasculating rule but the opposite. I'm trying to work on something, even something as trivial as a puzzle and he leans over and starts giving me answers. I get annoyed and say, "I appreciate you trying to help me but I like to figure this out by myself." If I ask for help then it's fine but I'm persistent and like to try until I succeed. When someone steps in it makes me feel like they don't think I'm capable. As a women I will admit sometimes I like to feel rescued, like when I can't open something. Another thing that puts me off is a man who never plans our time out. I had been in a relationship where he would suggest we go out, but then leave all the planning to me. I appreciated this sometimes, but a lot of the time I wanted it to be a collaboration and I wanted his opinion about things. I don't want to have the pressure and responsibility of choosing all of our outings.
Guilty of #5. I’ve been so independent and always doing everything on my own. It’s weird to have someone do things for me because most of my life I’ve done everything on my own 😂🤷🏻♀️
I appreciate your awareness about that. Most men WANT to do stuff for you ladies. If he gets the feeling that he's never doing it right or good enough though, he will simply give up trying.
@@jeradblazek677 Agree! If he can't make you happy by doing the man things to make you smile, or he is made to feel he's not doing it well enough, he's gone! He wants to feel like a man as much as woman want to feel like a woman. It's pretty basic man/woman dynamics. American woman have been brainwashed to do it all, kids, work, hubby's needs, 'go-for', and they take up the man's 'space' in the relationship. The men get complacent, life gets boring for him and stressful for her. Other cultures get this and still know how to make a man's 'space' without giving up their own ID and 'power'. Matt is great at showing how to do this!
This was good!!! Thanks.....I hate it when a man: 1.thinks touching and groping is suppose to turn me on, no it's annoying. Sit and talk to me without touching!!! Stupid octopus 2. Thinking a sexual conversation is supposed to do something for me.....yet when we finally get together, you fail in performance.!! Ugh 3. Not maintaining hygiene.....breath trumps everything!! You can wear the same outfit as long as its clean and pressed....BUT ALWAYS MAKE BREATH A #1 PRIORITY FOR A DATE AND RELATIONSHIP!!!
I believe you Rosalyn! You are so on point especially about breath! Nothing grosser than smelly breath or someone that doesn't shower and wear clean clothes! Greasy hair is a turn off it's not the fifties anymore
For me, I don’t like feeling like I have to compete with other women for them. If I know they’re seeing and sleeping with other women while they’re seeing me, it makes me instantly want to run away. Because if they really liked me, they’d put in the same effort and wouldn’t be with other women.
I LOVE complimenting my sweetie. Even when he is having a crappy day I make him calm by simply saying “ be easy honey, all is in order” or “you’re so handsome when you are angry, what can I do to make you ugly?”... this always makes him smile.. all while speaking softly and gently touching his arm or face. It’s amazing how quickly he calms down.and begins to laugh.
Things men do that scare me away -wanting to get too physical way too soon -showing too much aggression -making me feel rushed to come to his house too soon
As you mentioned near the end...definitely when the commitment moves faster than the connection. And another point you made: Feeling chosen....that is also important for women.
1) Asking too many biographical questions (like doing an interview instead of trying to bond); 2) Talking too much about themselves (especially showing off or stating their opinions as scientific facts); 3) Approaching a woman like a sweet, stupid little thing (being cheesy and inauthentic); 4) Showing disrespect toward any person, especially woman; 5) Talking about anything, just in order to cover up the silence; 6) Complaining about life circumstances, without trying to change anything. As much as I can think of right now. :)
My now ex used to always try to control how I did everything. Everything had to be done HIS WAY. He was critical and nagging. I'm so over controlling people
my ex husband was that way, controlling everything, and it got worse, telling me east to wear, trying to stop me from.dance class, getting rid of my friends. My trust level is bad but working on that now. so when I met someone I see the signs of controlling I'm out.
I've witnessed the imasculating behavior upclose just a week ago from a new female acquaintance i made while picking up my son at school and it's ugly. I feel like if we could all get back to "treat others the way you want to be treated" (regardless of sex) we'd be a whole lot further along and so much happier. You asked what pushes me away, I'd have to say the number one thing that has kept me very single my entire adult life is this... daily drinking and unhealthy eating habits. I long to find a partner that values the one body they have in this life and doesn't abuse it on a daily basis. It always seems to take me a few weeks to realize I've met another man who has a problem with daily drinking. It's sad and I've tried to make peace with being single at this point because of that. I want a partner who will not only live awhile, but their quality of life will be good while they're here.
A guy I was chatting with told me before I even met him. That he needed some good loving and that he had an insatiable desire. I told him that at this point the desire wasn’t for me and that he was going to have to find someone else to scratch his itch.
I get this from men randomly messaging me on other social media! That whole "wyd" thing instantly annoys me! I want to be snotty and say "I'm in the bathroom! Can't I use it in private? " 😂 But I don't... I just get highly annoyed. Lol
That was super! Thanks! The behaviors that pushes me away from a man are control issues, possessiveness and invalidating things I say and do. Not keeping promises or not being helpful or thoughtful in small ways are turn-offs.
Personally, I think that our feeling of wanting to start a relationship straight away with a man, is also often due to the way they have made us feel like very special. Luke, didnt matter if they were at work, or with their kids, they just focussed on US. They were polite, lovely, thoughtful, romantic, they listened to you for real, I mean, they litterally acted like they were just this amazing person who made us feel so safe. So, OF COURSE we think “Wow, seems like this guy’s got it together and knows how to be nice, he’s doing everything right!” But seriously - As soon as sex has happened though - Most of the time, Its like, even if the sex was amazing, their persue is over, they got you and so they don’t care nearly as much as they did before sex. And then all of a sudden, they’re at work, they can’t text. And they are also “with their kids”. They don’t listen to you anymore or try to share life experience. And that’s just so very confusing for us because it makes us feel like, one second we’re this precious treasure, but the next we aren’t. So… the first impression really WAS like the guy wanted to commit or that he “loved us” already, which we find weird. But then as soon as we decide “Wow, ok, maybe I should be all in to then” - That’s when they drop it like its hot. They stop being what they showed us to begin with!! They don’t really wanna text as much. Before, they could find time anytime, ANYTIME. No promblem. After though, everything is an excuse not to continue where us girls thought we were with him. Which feels so demeaning and hypocrite. My point being: Im in no way different before or after sex happens. Ill be just the exact same person. So, what you see is what you get. But with men, its just not like that. The thing to consider, I think, is that maybe what we experienced with them the first week, is what we thought would be their real personality? 🤔 So the drop is so far away of what it was, that we probably just didn’t expect anything to change so suddenly. This extremely respectful person and heart open person IS JUST GONE FOREVER now. No matter how we might make you guys feel like “we wanna start a relationship right away”… I believe its cause we were maybe completely misled. AND, the guy becomes boring, not really there anymore mentally, and asks us to accept HIS schedule only. To me, THAT feels like real entitlement. 🙏🏻
When I first understood the idea of making the man feel appreciated as provider it was life changing. It doesn't have to be providing money- even a genuine smile and thank you to a random stranger for holding a door- it's interesting to see them stand up tall and you can see the confidence radiate. Even when he's just driving you somewhere and you voice appreciation for how nice it is to just relax and not worry about driving. It's a very interesting psychological concept.
What do you do if you feel like you don't know how to be 'in balance' with yourself? I've lived so long trying to please and make other people happy that when people say 'be authentic' or 'be yourself', I don't know if what I'm feeling is truly what I want or if it's what I think I SHOULD do...
things that scare me away? when we first meet /get together, and he tries to put me in competition with other women ( y'know gives me the impression there are other women interested etc)..i will just walk away - i dont need to compete :)
Things don't work out so often, it's totally fair to date more than one person at a time. And how can you expect a guy to already be comitted to you on a 1st date? Plus, women do this all the time.
M’y ex would never shower and you can smell him from miles.ohh, l hate men who disguise themselves as someone else in order to please and slowly go back to their true self as the relationship progress. I thought l was dating a clean man until one day l went over to get my books from his apt after not seeing him for one month and he smells a mixte of onion and hair grease
I went out on a date with a guy who looked like he slept in his clothes. I lasted long enough to order a meal, told him I had to leave and I paid for the meal and left. He rang me again. Must have needed a free dinner or to borrow an iron 🤔🤣
I have found an effective way to get around "let me do it" or "you're not doing it right" is to let the person give it a try for a minute and when they start struggling enough that they may be more receptive to feed back you say "I have a suggestion I think will be helpful". And be willing to allow them to go back to doing what they're doing if they say no.
Very good advice and makes sense. Puts the ball in their court and saves you the gray hair and frustration trying to teach someone who doesn’t want to learn.
I got to say that everything you said that pushes men away- is also the same exact things that push woman away as well. Great advice! I love how you explain connection verses commitments and how that works in reality.
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
I have had to deal with a guy who I went out with a few times, realized he was not someone I wanted to continue dating because he acted so needy so I let him know that I did not want to see him any more. But he did not get the message. He kept showing up at my job, coincidentally be at the grocery store same time I was, repeatedly, drove through my neighborhood then call me to say he had just drove by my house, knew I was home but due to the late hour he did not want to bother me. He lived in another town 30 minutes away until he moved a block away from where I now live. So what scares me off are men coming on too strong, are insecure, and behaving like a stalker when I clearly have told them I am not interested in dating them.
1) LACK OF RESPECT 2) WANTING MARRIAGE KIDS OR TO BE THE CENTER OF MY LIFE FROM FIRST DATES 3) WANTING ONLY INTERNET SEXUAL TALK 4) BEING JEALOUS OF MY HOBBIES OR STUDIES 5) LOOKING AT OTHER WOMEN FROM FIRST DATES 6) FEELING ALWAYS A VICTIM OF HIS LIFE AND COMPLAINING ALL THE TIME. GREETINGS FROM GREECE!!
Agree with everything xx 1. I think men lie sometimes; when you truely know it was a lie you go crazy. Be honest! That’s makes me feeling respectful. 2. when he is married and try to connect with women and say he isn’t happy with his wife. 3. Double games 4. Not clean enough 5. Hate lazy men 6. Stingy men 7. Strict with his wife but generous with other women 8. Talk about your woman behind her back 9. Always on the phone 10. Keeping too many secrets All above scares me away
These are 100% true! I've seen what happens when people do this stuff in their relationships around me. Very destructive. Great video, thanks for sharing!
At a first date, normally the men think we are already together, just because I've agreed to meet for the first time. That scares me away like hell. You are so right. Thanks Mat! I love your vids!
Intellectualizing love. "I choose to love you." Because he feels falling love implies a victim mentality. I smiled, I shrugged it off and said, "whatever, I love you."
What scares me away .? 1. Instant connection before getting to know me 2. Being negative 3. When he pulls away after we had a really good convo makes me feel that if I had done any mistakes and leaves me overanalysing whole situation periodically 3. Being so into you one day and give me some space don't wanna speak to you the other day . 4. FAST LOVE
That usually means they're after your money or something.. As far as being called baby we all talk like that. it's not personal unless you make it personal. There us a fine line and the best way to decide if someone crossed it is if that and their body language makes you uncomfortable..
There is an example of that here with another poster , a man (Donald Piniach)trying to verbally bully me into submission until I was telling him Blaa blaa blaa. It is mixed into the first boatload of posts...
@@maidenmarian1 "Bullying you" implies that you are a victim of some sort of statement that you think is uncomfortable and cannot manage the issue yourself. Women are strong and independent... not victims. Women are police officers, fire fighters, run for president, fight in the UFC, have babies etc... Plus, Im intrigued at how so many women cannot handle a bit of constructive criticism from a dating coach, as if women can do no wrong.
@@mgtowarena9636 This does not have to do with the maker of the video. There is nothing wrong with him. I would prefer not to continue to discuss the meaning of anything including the word "bullying"with you. I am fine. I did not post for the purpose of debating words and all of this political crap. I don't want to discuss it with you please. I also did not post to defend women and all of that. It does not imply that someone is a victim. I am too busy especially today to go down the rabbit hole, you appear to suggest, thank you. So many words today trigger the same old political crap. This crap started in the early 90's and I am not going to allow words to become something I have to bow to and submit to somewhere due to the idea of political correctness. Back off please. I can easily see and explain, am not a victim and not going to continue. Have a great day. This political highjacking of language has made me irate and now bored. There is so much to talk about but today I have unfortunately no extra time. Thanks.
And CONGRATULATIONS to 600K!!!!! I am so honored to have been following you for 4 years. You always make my life rich and full of warmth and compassion ❤️😘❤️😘
I totally agree with being careful not to use “ immasculating behavior towards a man, you don’t want to make him feel inferior. I also think Everyone is sensitive to even subtle criticism and your partner should be encouraging you as well during these times.
I hear you girl, I hear you! And you know what? I know tons of women who do not mind. To me that one of the biggest turn offs, I just get up and leave if I can.
One time I went on a date with this guy I had been dating for a year (my ex at this point) we went to the zoo and it was supposed to be a really bonding experience because he knew I loved animals. To cut it short, I saw this 6/10 girl slightly above average looking so I knew he was going to look so I looked in the reflection of the glass for the lemurs pretending to be looking at them while he was about 2 feet behind me. And what do you know he took that opportunity of thinking I was distracted looking at the lemurs to stare at this girl so much to the point where I’d be creeped out if I were her. So I didn’t hold his hand and walked in front of him the rest of the time and when she passed by us again I told him “there she is go get her number”. It’s just the most annoying thing ever in a guy. I know it’s normal because my dad does it and he’s 59 happily married 37 years never cheated on her obviously. But it’s just SO ANNOYING because you can’t help but think “you must want her” and what he’s thinking when he’s staring at her while your just a side piece in that moment ughhhh that feeling sucks. Even as a model and a generally seen as “hot girl” it SUCKS.
@@Lizestechreviews It is annoying! and, to me, highly disrespectful if he is close to 'his' girl. Like I use to say: when they are in groups of just guys (we all kow how guys are when they are together: boys will be boys kind of shit), or alone, look at whatever they want, if they are near me and showed some interest already, that makes me think twice big time! (Do I want to put up with this kind of shit in the future?). Yeah, looking is 'normal' (or society made it normal, or is just accepted because everybody does it and nobody thinks much about it - but just because 100% of the guys do it, it does not make it 'right') but, to me, is the first step to more - yeah, it can be completely 'innocent' (it os not but let's pretend it is), but it can not be innocent at all! How the heck will I know? Yeah, what you told your ex, it's the kind of answer they get from me whenever I catch them doing that. Many of them play offended. I don't care. It even annoys me when it's the other way around: when they are with 'their' women and I catch them doing that. It bothers me a lot because I know didn't ask for it and there we are. And it also bothers me for the woman because I know I wouldn't like it. I find it DISRESPECTFUL and it's like I am being part of it without asking for it! Most of the times I leave or rush to get the heck out of where ever we are, if I can. Just not nice!
Same here, a whole lot of ghosting. You think things are progressing nicely, you text him and then you don't hear from him again. I haven't had a relationship in years.
I love the advice of "flipping the script and drawing him in with gratitude" instead of expecting thing. Men do this too but they have other expectations. A little gratitude will go a long way!!
Loved that so much!! Men don’t want to feel taken advantage of- so they really appreciate a thank you. Also men love compliments. I just realized this not too long ago. As women we are use to receiving them and we don’t think of returning them, maybe because it feels weird or cheesy. I have no clue. But definitely makes a man feel special :)
Hi, get anyone to love or (SP) attracted to you. And Alo get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Wilson,he helped me restore my 5 years relationship. Also Dr Wilson Always keep with his words, I will advise you to seek his help thanks
I am excited and flattered yet at the same time turned off and feel icky if a guy is too sexual / physical early on in the relationship. Whatever happened to the gentle hand hold the gentle hug the gentle kiss on the cheek or even the lips but savoring in that and just enjoying being close with one another. It seems like it's either all or nothing these days. Nobody takes the time to get to know anybody. I have checked myself on this and I am nearly positive that I am not sending off that vibe in fact I have been celibate since my divorce almost 6 years ago now. When that subject comes up I calmly state that is something that I would like to save until I am in a committed, monogamous relationship. Guys look at me like I have three heads. I'm not giving up on being found by my true mate but it is quite discouraging.
How early is too early? It may be different to a man. And almost no man can have two opposite emotions at the same time the way a woman can, we're very compartmentalized. So if you're signalling to him opposing feelings he usually doesn't know what to do at that point. It feels very much like a catch 22.
@@jeradblazek677 Thanks for inquiring. I plan on waiting until I am married. It may never happen but that is my standard. Don't have a problem with being by myself at this point. I'm thankful to still be alive especially in this pandemic. I'm thankful to have a roof over my head and clothes on my back and food to eat. I'm thankful for the work that I get to do everyday helping to save people's lives - I'm a physician. I'm past the point of trying to please other individuals, I did that and it ended up with me married to an abusive man who took 16 years of my life. In essence I'm just over it. I desperately want to love again but my love I Now understand is a gift and I'm not just going to give it away to anybody.
@@zechariah4663 Well that certainly is your choice as a free willed human. If I had to guess by you monicker, you're a Christian, so makes sense if you're trying to live your belief system you would do that. As you said though too, you were married before and found you ex to be abusive. Waiting until marriage for sex won't actually exclude that from happening again, or possibly another bitter divorce should you both find sexually you don't feel compatible. Of course that may depend as well if at this point you're looking for a partner provider or a partner lover. If the former, you may not be wanting to have sex after marriage either.
@@jeradblazek677 Yes I am a Christian and my first marriage was my fault. I did not follow my faith and I did not seek God's guidance for that choice. I have learned from those lessons and I trust that Allowing God to order my steps will lead me to the person that HE intended. God does all things well and he is concerned with every aspect of my life including the sexual. Song of Solomon is full of love and passion. I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that the mate God has for me will be a match for me in every way including physically. God created marriage and God designed sex. It is man that has perverted it. Blessings and great evening to you...
My ex husband did this, complain about his family and me all the time. He walked out and found him an older woman, I guess he needed a mom. Every time he called me about the kids, she was in the back ground telling him what to say or communicate for him. Now they are married and live across the united states from his children and grand child. Life is crazy, just wished he would have communicated this to me before I gave him 26 years of my life. Been 8 years now, and all I can do is laugh, and know what he missing out of this grand child.
@@asaengman6854 Yes, my first serious ex was like this. His mom suggested that I get a better paying job while he pretty much was complacent about his debts and unemployment.
A big connection killer is talking to a woman your dating about her or someone else being overweight. Especially if you say that if a woman gains weigh she is no longer acceptable to you. Believe it or not a guy talked to me about his ex girlfriend gaining weight and after their split she came to him and had the nerve to want to get back together with him when she had gained weight. I was horrified. That was only one of the awful things he talked about over dinner and I still call it ‘my date from hell.”
My last boyfriend did that on our third date. I actually thought of not dating him after that and I probably should have listened to my gut instinct but I didn't. Sigh.
Also a disgraceful turn-off for me as well. I am neither his psychotherapist, nor his buddy. Unless we are both discussing relationship characteristics we like or dislike together in conversation. I might back off if i decide to feel sorry for his ex. Also, i causes me to wonder if he's on the rebound, or considering getting back with her, since he is prioritizing discussing her during our precious time together. It's a real detraction from developing anything more meaningful than being solely friends.
Acting like we can't have things in common and not in common (basically like we have to be they same or can't be together.) Forcing there views on and not accepting the our view because it's not theirs)
I don't like it when a guy brags about himself: "I designed this really great ... " or "I'm so great because I ... ". Don't tell me how great you are, show me in the natural course of doing things-be humble. I know he wants to impress me and have me think he's great, talented, super smart, etc. Then I can tell him: "This is such a great thing you did. I really like this."
What scares me away is when a man tries too hard to impress me, usually with stories or going out of his way to help me. It makes me feel like he’s not trying to get to know me or what ACTUALLY impresses me which is more than skin-deep. The other major one is emotional distance.. and this is sooooo common. I think at least half the guys I’ve dated are emotionally distant and I’ve checked to make sure this isn’t something I’m projecting or causing. I think it’s more to do with the age-group of men I’ve dated (28-34). Guys usually show this by not being communicative or open. By being guarded and just overall distant. They’ll say they’re looking for commitment or a relationship but it just doesn’t show and I don’t feel it and it scares me that they haven’t healed from trauma or they’re non-committal or something. And patience hasn’t usually paid with this 😂 Love the videos you make, Matt! They’ve helped me a lot to feel more empowered and find men that are quality men looking for similar things. I haven’t found the one yet, but your videos have really helped me to be the best version of myself and create a healthy space for when he does come along. Thanks so much! ❤️
These videos are so well made, I love how they are right to the point and do explain in an authentic way, many others feel like kinda manipulative like you talk about in relationships, haha! What really puts me off, is often mirrored in the things you talk about in women. Being too eager in the beginning, touching too much too early, wanting to be close to me before they even know me, constantly wanting an ego boost without giving anything back, taking what a women can give for granted, wanting to hang out at home too much in the beginning (where i often have to play "host"), talking money and politics in the beginning, showing off, lack in ambition (about themselves, not about success), intolerance and lack of understanding about differences in people.
I'm so glad you addressed number 1 because a lot of dating "coaches" tell you to do that and it totally feels like playing games. And it feels fake. It's all so confusing.
It’s called literally living your life… if the text comes in and it’s genuinely hours before you can give an honest considered response… then that’s fair, but if you’re sitting there looking at the text on read.. for hours then it’s a game.. It’s only inauthentic if it’s inauthentic!! Example My guy texts me at 4pm Hey baby.. can we meet Tuesday instead?? Then again at 5:30 as I hadn’t responded and it was a text loaded with insecurity.. Text: I’m so sorry to change it around promise I won’t do it again 🙏 I was only able to reply by 10:30pm because my battery had died and I was travelling. I sent a reply Just got in baby with zero 🪫 Yep that plan sounds good for me.. let’s chat tomorrow.. going to bed now sweet dreams looking forward to seeing ya xx 😘 That was authentic.. Vs: Yeah sure.. yeah sure can imply I had seen it and was sitting there fuming 😤 It’s all about communication.. By letting him know I got in late and had no battery.. he then followed up with kisses 😘 smiles 😊 and basically what read as relief 🥲 and continued to text funny memes despite my saying goodnight 😂 As he clearly assumed he pissed me off or annoyed me judging by his follow up text when he hadn’t heard from me.. It’s only a game if you’re playing games… Sure a little sexual tension and delayed gratification on the off chance .. say replying 30 mins to an hour later is also ok.. but don’t play games.. if you’re genuinely living your life, then it’s a dance 🕺🏼 💃🏽 and it feels real. It’s about building connection! Going forward.. after I see him, I will thank him for the date on the night by text and then that’s it… the ball is in HIS court to respond and ask me out again or respond by text to me… It took me years to get to this realisation and it was years of singleness and observing mens behaviour. Ultimately you are not playing games if you are genuinely busy and living and that is attractive.. also do not tell them everything that you are doing. Mystery is good. Let them find out your layers but by bit.. by building connection. Also don’t be too available… this will be evident by you living your life.. but also have occasional availability.. Example.. do not ditch plans with friends and family to see him if you have made plans.. but also do not accept can I see you later today.. If you are busy you are busy.. But if it’s say Wednesday and you’re available genuinely available on Saturday.. then that’s fine!! It’s also ok to say I am already out this evening.. can we plan for another night? This shows that it’s not no.. just not now. Again it’s all about communication.. I’m no guru and I’m only sharing what has worked or is working for me. That being said.. I’m having a relationship without fear of loss and not having any expectations of any outcome. I’m finding out if I like what I like and I’m also prepared fully to walk way! Stay open stay true to yourself.. I hope this helps ❤
When your talking to a guy, and after about 3 conversations he says he loves you. This is a huge red flag for me cause I know guys don't express that that quickly even if they feel they are falling for you.
Things that scare me away - fart too comfortably in front of me too early-on in the piece! Silence & sulking if theres been a disagreement. Communication and respect is the key!
Yeh, I think that was a problem in my "marriage". He had cerebral palsy so he couldn't or wouldn't do much of any chores around the house. Now, when he was younger he was also at boarding schools so, I felt like I had to ask him/tell him to do just about anything around the house. You need to address this one right away in your relationship. Then, it was like I felt like I was bossy, but then I thought he's an adult. He was overly passive on this issue. He felt he just had to go to work and come home. Don't fall into that trap.
(Removed swearword.) You are not a masseuse or more precisely a prostitute that this being paid to pleasure him. I can't believe it has gotten this bad for women. I can't stand reading this. At least the guy should be your boyfriend.... And even then he has to learn how this should really be done....
Behaviors men do that push me away: ○Instant relationship expectation. Expecting me to not communicate with other men while getting to know him. ○Dominating all of my time. ○Expecting texting all through the day ○Expecting an account of my time during the day ○Expecting and assuming that I will cook for them.
